Would This Be a Deal Breaker for You?

[RebeccaS]

I started a small co-op, with two other families in my church, about 3 years ago. We try to incorporate classes for the kids that take the load off our at-home obligations (eg we usually have a history, science, and fine arts as well as a practical application maths).

 

I work hard to get my act together the night before and have my crew there on time. However, the other families, without exception, are never on time. Ever. They roll in as much as 10 to 20 minutes late every Monday. This means we run the classes over and end the day nearly an hour longer than we'd planned because once we start late, no one knows when to end each class, so we end up running overtime on all the classes and lunch and break...and on and on.

 

At the end of year 2, during our meeting, I brought up how frustrating it was to me that we don't start on time and the day is subsequently thrown off. I was told, essentially, that that's how they roll and it wasn't going to change. So, knowing this, I committed to another year (this year) but I don't think I can take it any more. So, am I overreacting about the start time? Is it really that big of a deal? Would you quit the co-op because of it? I have guilt because it was my idea and they love going, they're just not terribly punctual. :tongue_smilie:

[OregonNative]

Just my thoughts:

You already have kids to raise-you don't need to babysit adults. I would move on. It doesn't sound like something that is positive in your life right now-which would be enough for me to drop it. But, that's how I roll:tongue_smilie:

[Hankins3]

Just my thoughts:

You already have kids to raise-you don't need to babysit adults. I would move on. It doesn't sound like something that is positive in your life right now-which would be enough for me to drop it. But, that's how I roll:tongue_smilie:

 

:iagree:

[kalanamak]

This would be a deal breaker to me. If people can be 20 minutes late every time, they can be 20 minutes early every time, and I find that such people disappoint in other ways. Selfish ways.

[Diana B]

If everything else is working well - the kids all get along, the classes are being taught properly, etc - I'd keep going. When they come in late, are they still prepared?

 

I would just assume that we are starting 1/2 hour later than we do. When the last family shows up, tell the moms "OK. Looks like we are running on the 1/4 hour today, so I will be done at X:YZ and then So-N-So you'll get from this time to that time."

 

If it was more than 1/2 hour on a regular basis, I'd probably give it up. But I know plenty of families who have a hard time getting the kids out the door. And it seems like no matter how early they try to leave - it just doesn't work out. Just don't over-book the schedule so you have the flexibility to rearrange classes or stay late w/o getting to exhausted.

 

It's a good learning opportunity for the kids! They learn how important it is to be on time but they also learn to be flexible!

[Word Nerd]

Could you bump up the start time on paper so they'd be there by the time you want to start?

[RebeccaS]

When they come in late, are they still prepared?

 

 

Hmmm. Well, one of them is generally ready the other usually is not. Another factor I have to consider.

[5LittleMonkeys]

I make it a point not to participate or continue with activities or obligations that cause me stress or irritate me. My time is so, so precious to me that I am just not willing to spend any of it under stress if I can absolutely help it.

 

Keeping that in mind, when I engage in an activity that involves other people I always go into it assuming that it will take longer than expected and so I plan for that. GS meetings are scheduled from 5 to 6:30 but I tell dh that I won't be home until 7. Someone says they are going to meet me for lunch at 1; I always assume they won't be there until 1:15 or later. It doesn't always work out that way but because I expect it to I don't get stressed. Are people rude? Yes. Are they inconsiderate of other's time? Yes. I can't change that but I can change how I let it affect me.

 

I also have another rule I live by. Once I start getting to the point that I consider not participating in something involving others because something seems off or something does start irritating me; I know it is time to move on. I try not to waste time deliberating about it. I have yet to regret that rule.

[kristavws]

Yes, it would be a dealbreaker. That kind of thing drives me insane.

[Medieval Mom]

This would be a deal breaker to me. If people can be 20 minutes late every time, they can be 20 minutes early every time, and I find that such people disappoint in other ways. Selfish ways.

 

:iagree:

 

Punctuality is important!

[Hillary in KS]

It would be a deal-breaker for me.

:glare:

[UnsinkableKristen]

I make it a point not to participate or continue with activities or obligations that cause me stress or irritate me. My time is so, so precious to me that I am just not willing to spend any of it under stress if I can absolutely help it.

 

Keeping that in mind, when I engage in an activity that involves other people I always go into it assuming that it will take longer than expected and so I plan for that. GS meetings are scheduled from 5 to 6:30 but I tell dh that I won't be home until 7. Someone says they are going to meet me for lunch at 1; I always assume they won't be there until 1:15 or later. It doesn't always work out that way but because I expect it to I don't get stressed. Are people rude? Yes. Are they inconsiderate of other's time? Yes. I can't change that but I can change how I let it affect me.

 

I also have another rule I live by. Once I start getting to the point that I consider not participating in something involving others because something seems off or something does start irritating me; I know it is time to move on. I try not to waste time deliberating about it. I have yet to regret that rule.

 

Very, very good suggestions and points.

[LittleIzumi]

I'm one of "those" parents who can't be on time to save my life, but I fully expect everything to have started on-time and to have to play catch-up myself and get my family up to speed. I'd start at the posted time, and people who get there late can catch up themselves.

[LittleIzumi]

Our church used to be that way for the actual service (in another state) and when my dad was put in charge, he just began starting things actually on time instead of waiting for everyone. Soon people began showing up on time for it (after a couple of pretty empty starts, lol).

[Mommy22alyns]

DH and I are starting to notice that... ummm... homeschoolers around here aren't the most punctual people. :001_huh:

 

It drives us nuts. That would probably be a deal-breaker for me too.

[happypamama]

I'd try building a bigger arrival time gap into the schedule. That seems to have worked well for our co-op this past year. For instance, instead of saying, "Start at 1 pm," with an implied earlier arrival time, we said something like, "Arrival, 12:45; Announcements and opening prayer, 1:00."

 

I'm very bad about being on time. Partly because the area where I grew up *never* started anything on time, ever. A 1 pm start time meant that a large portion of the people wouldn't be there then, and it was a given that 1 pm really meant 1:10. I do the stuff like get the bags ready the night before and all, but I'm really horrible at judging how much time things take. I'm really working on it, and it's one of my big goals for next school year. The lateness thing wouldn't really bug me too much (I'd just adjust the times as needed so that everyone still had a firm end time in mind, even if that changed from week to week), but not being prepared would.

 

ETA: If it was only a few people who were late often, I'd just start on time, and let them play catch-up. But if it's pretty much everyone, well, maybe it's not a big deal to them, so I'd just adjust the times as needed each week.

Edited May 18, 2011 by happypamama

[kchara]

Being consistently late for a standing engagement is just plain rude. It would be a deal breaker for me.

[texasmama]

Yes, chronic lateness would be a dealbreaker for me. The fact that you addressed it and your concerns were dismissed would be another dealbreaker. Too many dealbreakers here.

[GypsieFamily]

I'm one of "those" parents who can't be on time to save my life, but I fully expect everything to have started on-time and to have to play catch-up myself and get my family up to speed. I'd start at the posted time, and people who get there late can catch up themselves.

 

This is me. However, I would expect that it starts at the start time. If school starts at 8.30, the teachers don't wait for the stragglers, they just start.

[regentrude]

Yes, dealbreaker. It would drive me crazy, I'd be irritated - and that does not feel good. I hate it when people are not on time.

[Sebastian (a lady)]

I started a small co-op, with two other families in my church, about 3 years ago. We try to incorporate classes for the kids that take the load off our at-home obligations (eg we usually have a history, science, and fine arts as well as a practical application maths).

 

I work hard to get my act together the night before and have my crew there on time. However, the other families, without exception, are never on time. Ever. They roll in as much as 10 to 20 minutes late every Monday. This means we run the classes over and end the day nearly an hour longer than we'd planned because once we start late, no one knows when to end each class, so we end up running overtime on all the classes and lunch and break...and on and on.

 

At the end of year 2, during our meeting, I brought up how frustrating it was to me that we don't start on time and the day is subsequently thrown off. I was told, essentially, that that's how they roll and it wasn't going to change. So, knowing this, I committed to another year (this year) but I don't think I can take it any more. So, am I overreacting about the start time? Is it really that big of a deal? Would you quit the co-op because of it? I have guilt because it was my idea and they love going, they're just not terribly punctual. :tongue_smilie:

 

I hate it when other people's lateness impacts what we are trying to do. I don't think, for example, that scouts should start 15 min late and then end 15-30 min late or not get things done because several scouts are arriving late. If they can't avoid lateness (like coming directly from sports) then they slide in without interupting things.

 

In the coop situation, I would consider:

 

Telling the other parents that because you will have another obligation shortly after the coop, that you won't be able to stay late during the coming year. Then make sure that you back this up by ending and leaving on time.

 

Classes could begin on time, with whoever is there. That might mean that the first class is something that can be shorted or that it is something you teach and that they come in in the middle of.

 

Or classes could start when people arrive and are ready, with the understanding that you will be leaving as scheduled. If this is the case, then make the ending class either something you don't mind walking out on or something great that you control. Then stop the lesson as necessary to pack up and leave on time. If you do this a couple times, I think it will become clear whether they consider the coop useful enough to help find a solution.

 

Or if that isn't going to work because the other moms have to be there to provide other support (ex child care) or because they will never not be disruptive, then I would consider dropping the coop.

 

I would say that families that are chronically late are that way in part because there is seldom a consequence. I'm not late to medical appointments because I know I will be turned away (and possibly charged). I'm not late with registering for summer camp because I know we'll be turned down or at least not get our first choice.

 

If there is never a consequence to being late, then of course they will love it. Just because they are late, should not mean that the entire day is put off track.

[Ellie]

It would be a deal-breaker for me.

 

FTR, these people's time-management issues seem awfully self-centered, besides the fact that they're teaching their dc to be chronically late and therefore self-centered.

 

Yeah, I'd be outta there.

[LittleIzumi]

I would say that families that are chronically late are that way in part because there is seldom a consequence. I'm not late to medical appointments because I know I will be turned away (and possibly charged). I'm not late with registering for summer camp because I know we'll be turned down or at least not get our first choice.

 

If there is never a consequence to being late, then of course they will love it. Just because they are late, should not mean that the entire day is put off track.

 

See, I'm also late to medical appointments & work, just a little less late. It's like my internal clock is broken. Always working on that.

[Danestress]

If every week it was causing me stress and irritation, it probably would not be worth it. However, if my children really loved it, and if I was happy about how the other teachers were instructing my children, I might try to change my own thought patterns about the day so that it would bother me less. I would just need to spend some time thinking about what value the classes have for me.

 

I am willing to put up with the same type of irritations for a class that my children love in a subject that I don't want to teach (Latin). I have many times thought about quitting. It's expensive, and I get irritated by the disorganization. But I am a true believer that we can choose what to think about and where to direct our thoughts and feelings. Ultimately, I have decided that the value the class adds to my children's live in terms of Latin instruction, classroom experience, and fun, is worth the irritations. So having decided that, I choose not to let myself dwell on the negative. If there were other great Latin classes in the area, I would switch. There aren't. So I have to choose between imperfect options, and I think maybe quitting would leave us worse off that dealing with the negatives.

 

For you, I would look at the instruction offered, the value of the relationships, the pleasure for your kids. Do they like the other kids? Are they learning? Do they get something out of it they would miss if you quit?

[In the Rain]

If you push the start time back by 30 minutes, would they be on time or would they start coming even later? If I loved everything else about the co-op, I'd be willing to start and end later in order to accommodate their arrival time.

[Impish]

I'd go nuts.

 

Start on time, end on time. They'll either start being punctual, or miss out.

 

I honestly think that rearranging time just enables this sort of disrespect. Your time is as valuable as theirs, but they're not treating it that way.

[Mimm]

Lateness drives me nuts too. That said, if it was something that I enjoyed in every other way, I would adjust how I think of it. Instead of thinking "Co-op goes from 8:30 to 12" I would think "It starts at 9 and goes till 1. But we arrive half an hour early." ;) If you're the only one it's bothering, then yes, you're simply not going to be able to change the group.

[SweetMissMagnolia]

This would be a deal breaker to me. If people can be 20 minutes late every time, they can be 20 minutes early every time, and I find that such people disappoint in other ways. Selfish ways.

 

 

:iagree: totally agree-- things like that annoy me too :glare:

[AllBoys]

It would drive me crazy too. I was wondering if you could have a special beginning to the day that is really fun, that the children wouldn't want to miss out on. Maybe it could be based on learning virtues, and there could be some privileges associated with being there. This is just off the top of my head, not sure how it might work. I know if my children want to get somewhere on time, they magically become very efficient at being ready and out the door on time.

[6packofun]

Yep, dealbreaker. If someone doesn't value my time *especially* after I've given them a chance to help improve the experience for ALL of us, they get shown the door or I'm out the door. That's how *I* roll. Ugh, I'm annoyed just thinking about it. LOL!!

Edited May 18, 2011 by 6packofun
change

[specialmama]

It would drive me nuts, too. However, if the rest is working out fine, I'd do something else for the first 45 minutes that does not hinge on punctuality. What if you started with 45 minutes of art? Keep it simple so that latecomers aren't asking what the instructions are. Instructions could be posted or printed at each workspace. The assignment could be as simple as: draw a scene from your history reading; using pastels, create a portrait of the main character from this book you just read; create a silhuette scene depicting the conflict from this work; mould the tinfoil into a replica of one of these ancient artifacts; etc. See, latecomers don't necessarily have to throw everything off. If someone is late, big deal, they didn't miss anything meaty. By the end of the 45 minutes of art, I'd close the door and not allow latecomers in as they would disrupt the core teachings.

[mom31257]

I think I would ask if having a later start time would help them to be on time. I direct a co-op here and we have some who are early and some who are always a little late, thankfully not any of the actual teachers, though.

 

Maybe you could begin with something like PE time that would end at a certain time no matter when it started. That would help keep the rest of the schedule on time.

 

I wouldn't be able to stand the parent not coming prepared more than the being late, but it all sounds like if a few suggestions didn't work, I would say I could no longer participate, but wish them well if they continue it together.

[RebeccaS]

I appreciate all the feedback! A few more thoughts, too-At our meeting (when I was told they would just be late and that wouldn't change) I suggested we push the start time back 30 or 45 minutes. But, the other two families opted to keep it the same because they said they'd be late no matter what time it started. :lol: At least they're honest. :D The one family is my cousin. She is late for everything all the time and it drives me nuts, so I don't know why I'm annoyed when she's late for this. :001_huh:

 

I'm thinking I need to take a break from it for a year and then reassess the situation. When we first started the group, we were all newbies and it felt great to have each other for support. Now, we've been in it for a while, and not that I don't like the support, but I don't feel like I need it quite so much now.

 

As for the kids, they'll be disappointed to not be going to co-op, for sure. However, they will see all the kids at church and every other church function we attend (and we try to get to most of them). However, having a less-stressed Mom who's not annoyed at the tardiness will probably be a welcomed change for them.

[Farrar]

Since nearly everyone said it would be a dealbreaker, I feel compelled to point out that it absolutely would NOT be a dealbreaker for me. And I have the hilarious reputation for being early to everything. We're very rarely late to anything, so we're almost always the first ones there. In other words, I'm not saying this because I'm a late person.

 

I'm saying it because there are so many more important things in life than an hour of your day being thrown off. We're in two small family co-ops. The relationships I have with the moms and the close friendships that my kids have built, as well as the things they've learned about community through those groups are extremely important to me. I trust the moms in my co-op. I love them. They're my homeschool family and I wouldn't trade that for anything. It frustrates me that they're late sometimes, but certainly not to the point that I would drop out of a group that is otherwise a huge support to our homeschooling.

 

When the group is more than just a few trusted families, then it starts to frustrate me more. I ran a large Shakespeare production earlier this year with more than two dozen kids. The fact that some families were habitually late when we had a limited time in our space, frustrated me a lot more. But I still ask myself would it stop me from doing it again? If I had known about it, would I have not done? And it still was not a dealbreaker. The experience of doing that production for me, my kids, and all the other kids, far outweighed any frustrations over timeliness.

 

So, that's just me apparently.

[Pretty in Pink]

I guess it depends on how much it bothers you. I did see your most recent post on p. 4 and it seems like it bothers you quite a bit. In that case, I would probably take the summer to break and reassess the situation. Some people are much more flexible in this regard than others, and that's okay. Some people have more flexibility in their schedules than others, and that's okay too.

 

The habitual tardiness would annoy me; however, I will confess that there was a period of about one year after babies no. 3 and 4 when I couldn't seem to arrive anywhere on time no matter how hard I tried.

[garddwr]

This is one of those areas where people are just different--some people's brain's work in a way that emphasizes punctuality, some do not. Probably the people who are not punctual have other strengths that contribute to your co-op. Since this is important to you, being flexible about it will not be easy--but that is what I recommend. We need each other's different strengths.

[AngelBee]

I'm one of "those" parents who can't be on time to save my life, but I fully expect everything to have started on-time and to have to play catch-up myself and get my family up to speed. I'd start at the posted time, and people who get there late can catch up themselves.

:iagree:

[Carol in Cal.]

I ran a literature group for a while, and we started on time. Chit chat at the beginning of each class was an essential part of the session--I would ask each child to respond to a personal (but not too private) question and then relate their answers to the literature that we were discussing. If they missed that part, they couldn't participate as effectively in the discussion. I felt like if they didn't show up for it, it was really not my problem (and I mean that VERY kindly). When they arrived I did not make a big deal of stopping everything, and I never did wait to start. I would just say hello, smile, nod them to a chair, and keep talking. They always knew that they were loved and welcomed no matter when they came, and that they missed out if they were not on time.

 

I was sort of calmly pleasant about all this stuff. Someone would not show up and would apologize and say that it was because they were accustomed to getting email reminders about class sessions (which I don't send out.) I'd say, "Oh that's OK, see you next time, I don't do email reminders but that big one in the beginning of the semester has all the dates and times on it." And that's all--flat, pleasant tone, no arguing but no long discussion either. I figure if I'm offering a service (free, by the way), then I get to offer the service, and people can come or not, and it's no reflection on them or on me.

 

It's like cookies. If I make cookies and pass them around, some people take them and some don't, and either way we are friends but we might or might not have cookies together. No big deal.

 

Anyway, this is just a way you might want to reframe the whole scenerio to yourself and to them. Once people in a group start thinking of each other as 'bad', the group deteriorates; if this tardiness is a show stopper, then rethink it, but if you can think of it with a little distance you might be able to save the relationships if they are important to you.

 

Alternatively, if it's very disruptive you can take the position that if someone is late they can't participate that day, and again, enforce it cheerfully and firmly.

[Jenny in Florida]

I'm one of "those" parents who can't be on time to save my life, but I fully expect everything to have started on-time and to have to play catch-up myself and get my family up to speed. I'd start at the posted time, and people who get there late can catch up themselves.

 

The thing is, though, that in many situations just having people arrive late is disruptive to the whole group. Lessons and activities that are designed for eight children have to be readjusted for three, then re-readjusted to accomodate the five who show up late. The three who arrived on time get distracted noticing when their friends come in and have to wave and say hello. There is noise of the door opening and closing each time another tardy family enters the room . . . And so on.

 

For what it's worth, yes, chronic lateness like that described in the first post would probably be a deal-breaker for me. In fact, it has. The lack of punctuality or taking any activity seriously was one of the primary factors when my family gave up on homeschool groups. If it's a park day, that's one thing. But for field trips and classes and organized activities? Yes, I expect people to be there on time.

 

I get that stuff happens. I've bailed at the last minute or shown up late more times than I like to remember, but it's not for the same thing every week.

 

I grew up in a family that was always late for everything. On holidays, when we were supposed to go to relatives' homes for dinner and presents and such, it was not at all uncommon for us to be leaving -- on a drive that might take an hour -- after the time we were supposed to be arriving. And we were usually still getting dressed or wrapping gifts or something in the car. It seemed normal to me.

 

However, as an adult I decided it was time to change the habit. I discovered it really was possible to get to work on time, early even, every day. And then I married a man who hates being late, and I got even better about it.

 

Nowadays, I find it extremely stressful to be late for anything. And, since I'm usually juggling scheduling conflicts just to be in one place, I get very irritable if schedules slip to accomodate folks who didn't get there on time.

 

But, as I said, I also get irritable with the distractions caused by late-comers.

 

So, we don't belong to homeschool groups anymore.

[Farrar]

Even if it it's every week. I think I could handle it once a month or every other month. But, on a weekly basis, I think it would start to drive me nuts.

 

Every week? Sure. I mean, it's a question of priorities. Is your priority to have that hour back or to have those relationships?

 

If the group isn't good enough in other ways, then by all means, let this be the final straw. But if timeliness is genuinely the *only* thing? Well, I wouldn't let it get to me like that.

 

Someone else said that if the OP were to stay in the group, then she would need to reframe the issue for herself. For me, I would do that by focusing on the positive things that come from the group. If someone literally can't do that, then that's another issue and maybe it's not the group for them.

[RebeccaS]

Every week? Sure. I mean, it's a question of priorities. Is your priority to have that hour back or to have those relationships?

 

If the group isn't good enough in other ways, then by all means, let this be the final straw. But if timeliness is genuinely the *only* thing? Well, I wouldn't let it get to me like that.

 

Someone else said that if the OP were to stay in the group, then she would need to reframe the issue for herself. For me, I would do that by focusing on the positive things that come from the group. If someone literally can't do that, then that's another issue and maybe it's not the group for them.

 

I admire your fortitude! :001_smile:

 

I often wonder if our group is just trying to do too much. We're supposed to begin at 9:15 with a memory verse practice and prayer. Then, 2 classes before lunch, lunch/break and 2 classes after. We should end around 2:30, but don't often end until 3:30. By the time I pack up and get home, it's after 4 and I'm beat, but I have to finish dinner prep and get about my evening. So, yeah, that hour means a lot to me. :001_smile:

[Scuff]

 

See, I'm also late to medical appointments & work, just a little less late. It's like my internal clock is broken. Always working on that.

I solved this this year by adjusting our leave time. Co-op was only 10 minutes away, in bad traffic. At the beginning of the year, we'd plan 15 minutes and always be late. So I started giving myself half an hour. It seemed crazy to allow that much time. But we were on time most weeks after that. If someone couldn't find their shoes or books, ect, it was ok. Sometimes we were early, but most times it was just right.

[momofkhm]

They roll in as much as 10 to 20 minutes late every Monday. This means we run the classes over and end the day nearly an hour longer than we'd planned because once we start late, no one knows when to end each class, so we end up running overtime on all the classes and lunch and break...and on and on.

 

So, am I overreacting about the start time? Is it really that big of a deal? Would you quit the co-op because of it? I have guilt because it was my idea and they love going, they're just not terribly punctual. :tongue_smilie:

 

I would move on. Being on time is important to me. This puts the rest of your day off. No you are not overreacting! If it was more than 3 families, they'd have to be on time!

[Daisy]

Punctuality is an issue of respect.

 

It would be a deal breaker for me. I cannot imagine doing this to someone week after week. It is completely rude. Once in a while because of traffic or an emergency, okay. But every week? Time does not stand still until the Prima Donas arrive.

 

If changing the start time will actually get everyone there on time, then I would do that. Odds are though that you'll change the start time and they'll still choose to be 20 minutes late.

[twoforjoy]

I think the late/unpredictable ending time would be more of an issue for me than starting 10-20 minutes late. I could deal with people walking in or even starting 10-20 minutes late, but I'd be driven nuts by having the rest of the day be so unpredictable, especially the lunch and ending times.

 

I know that around 2:30 everybody at my house, including me, is ready to wind down and get some rest/fun before we do evening stuff. That extra hour would be rough for us.

[5LittleMonkeys]

I appreciate all the feedback! A few more thoughts, too-At our meeting (when I was told they would just be late and that wouldn't change) I suggested we push the start time back 30 or 45 minutes. But, the other two families opted to keep it the same because they said they'd be late no matter what time it started. :lol: At least they're honest. :D The one family is my cousin. She is late for everything all the time and it drives me nuts, so I don't know why I'm annoyed when she's late for this. :001_huh:

 

I'm thinking I need to take a break from it for a year and then reassess the situation. When we first started the group, we were all newbies and it felt great to have each other for support. Now, we've been in it for a while, and not that I don't like the support, but I don't feel like I need it quite so much now.

 

As for the kids, they'll be disappointed to not be going to co-op, for sure. However, they will see all the kids at church and every other church function we attend (and we try to get to most of them). However, having a less-stressed Mom who's not annoyed at the tardiness will probably be a welcomed change for them.

 

I think you are making a very wise choice for yourself. If you are anything like me, once something about a situation starts annoying you then you start finding other little things that annoy you and then you start feeling animosity toward the people who are annoying you and then you start having to deal with misdirected guilt....yep, just best to walk away for awhile.;)

[HS Mom in NC]

It would make me crazy. I've done that, and it's absolutely not worth it.

 

The worst was when I was directing the Children's Orchestra at church. A typically chronically late mother would arrive with her son 15 minutes late for a 45 minute rehearsal. It ended right before the church service. This woman honestly could not grasp that getting him oriented and up to speed on what we already covered was wasting everyone else's time. Don't even get me started on the kids who didn't practice. It was a disaster. All the work by the kids who practiced (all but one of them was taking private lessons) was completely drowned out by the kids who didn't practice (all of them took band/orchestra in ps.) Never again.

 

If I were you and I decided to do the co-op again, I would explain (in writing) that the designated start time is when the class will begin whether everyone is there or not. I would also suggest the arrival time be 10 to 15 minutes earlier than the start time.

 

I would explain (in writing) that if someone is late and has missed something essential, it will be repeated IF all the children who got there on time are working independently and IF the leader/instructor of the co-op has a chance to repeat it.

 

I would also explain (in writing) that the end time will be the end. People have very busy lives and complicated schedules and we have to respect that. If I were leading it and it's time to end I would say (whether we're done or not) "Well, it looks like we're out of time." Then I would get my kids and my materials and leave.

 

My kids have had piano, Art, and PE all on the same day (it was the only option at the time.) When everything started on time and ended on time we could do all of it with no problems at all. If one activity had run late more than a few minutes, it would have meant missing out on part of the activity that followed.

[Gretchen in NJ]

DH and I are starting to notice that... ummm... homeschoolers around here aren't the most punctual people. :001_huh:

 

It drives us nuts. That would probably be a deal-breaker for me too.

:iagree:It drove me nuts when I first started homeschooling. Then, I became one of them until I got my act together.:blush:

[StephanieZ]

I have organized a 2 hour book club for a good sized gang of girls for several years. At first, the plan was 1 hour book discussion, then 1 hour play time. After a year or two of hassles due to late folks, I changed it to: 1st 30 min play, then 1 hour book, then 30 more min play. It helped immensely.

 

Is there a way you can schedule some 30 min opening activity that would not be entirely ruined if some folks were not there? Some free form art activity, something that could be mulled over for 30 min or zipped through in 5, or skipped entirely?

 

Also, you can plan lunch as 60 min if you're currently doing something shorter, with the understanding that it will be shortened to END at the scheduled end time if morning classes run long?

 

That said, if the other moms won't get on board, I'd either just decide to "let it go" and plan in my own head to be an hour longer than it's supposed to be. . . Or I'd walk away. I wouldn't want to keep fighting the tide.

[SnowWhite]

I would make some sort of compromise- like you only participate in the first half. Or change it to a half day co-op. I do think it sounds like you're doing too much in that setting. Another option would be to have a "passing period", and make the starting time of the second class period non-optional. (Ie, first class period could be 9-10, or 9:30-10, whichever worked with your latecomers, but second class period starts PROMPTLY at 10:15). Then the 10-10:15 time could be "cushion."

 

I confess, I'm almost always late. However, it is my children's fault! :D:001_huh: