Lovedtodeath Posted March 11, 2011 Share Posted March 11, 2011 (edited) She will write maybe one number... then scratch her leg, then she is frustrated because she forgot what she was doing... then she will write one number... then burp, one number... then yawn, fix her hair, etc. I get so irritated that I have to leave or I will yell at her. Ugh! Any advice? Edited March 11, 2011 by Lovedtodeath Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unicorn. Posted March 11, 2011 Share Posted March 11, 2011 How old is she? I have two w/ adhd that have similar problems. Usually they lock themselves in the bathroom for an hour because they don't want to do math. I have learned though, that you just have to keep sitting, and plugging away. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted March 11, 2011 Share Posted March 11, 2011 Deep breaths. Ice cream. Chocolate. Whatever your indulgence is after bedtime tonight. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tabrett Posted March 11, 2011 Share Posted March 11, 2011 You were video taping me and my dd, right? My dd is 7. I have to constantly redirect her attention. She will stop reading in the middle of a sentence and ask a question about what is going to happen next. Then she is lost on the page. There is always something- her hair, she's cold, she pickes at her fingers and hands, scratches and completely looses attention until I'm yelling and I don't like myself when it happens. :bigear::lurk5::bigear: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lionfamily1999 Posted March 11, 2011 Share Posted March 11, 2011 Ach! Don't I know how you are feeling!?! We wax and wan... Some days, I'm practically perched on ds's shoulders, other days I just let him waste the afternoon one number at a time. :banghead: I wish I had a solution, but for us, when I'm there I stop him as soon as his pencil leaves the paper. That's all I've got, for what it's worth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted March 11, 2011 Share Posted March 11, 2011 Mine is a stiff drink. ;) I hear that. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tree House Academy Posted March 11, 2011 Share Posted March 11, 2011 Is she 3? If so, that is more than normal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tadbhoward Posted March 11, 2011 Share Posted March 11, 2011 My 8.5yo is just like that. I have no advice. Some days I can keep my patience and others I have to walk away and take deep breaths. It does seem like her attention is getting better as the days go by. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amyrjoy Posted March 11, 2011 Share Posted March 11, 2011 I understand. I have no advice because I deal with this myself and it drives me crazy too! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FO4UR Posted March 11, 2011 Share Posted March 11, 2011 Did you spy in my kitchen this morning?:001_huh::lol: I explained to ds8 how long each thing *should* take him if he stayed on task, and showed him how much time it *did* take him b/c he dawdled. 1 hour of work took about 2...(so much for short days on Friday!:glare:) In all fairness, I wasn't at his elbow the entire hour...he does MUCH better if I'm right there and keep things constantly moving. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CalicoKat Posted March 11, 2011 Share Posted March 11, 2011 She will write maybe on number... then scratch her leg, then she is frustrated because she forgot what she was doing... then she will write on number... then burp, one number... then yawn, fix her hair, etc. I get so irritated that I have to leave or I will yell at her. Ugh! Any advice? :grouphug::grouphug: I knit furiously. Bite my tongue. And knit some more. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovedtodeath Posted March 11, 2011 Author Share Posted March 11, 2011 Is she 3? If so, that is more than normal. No she is eight and a half. LOL I forgot that I don't have that in my sig anymore. If I don't sit there to keep her on task, then she completely gives up and does nothing. If I sit to keep her on task, then it takes 3 times longer than it should and I have other responsibilities including a 3 year old. She usually wastes so much time that he gets tired of behaving and starts being loud and obnoxiously distracting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oasis Posted March 11, 2011 Share Posted March 11, 2011 This is me with my dd7! I've just been redirecting, redirecting, redirecting, and after that wears off, threatening with extra chores, grounding, etc. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawn in OH Posted March 11, 2011 Share Posted March 11, 2011 I have a boy like that. I can't sit there with him anymore, I have 3 other kids and housework. I'm wasting my life sitting there saying, "Do you work", "Focus", "You need to get this done", etc. Currently, he is on hour 3 of a 10 question grammar worksheet. I've walked off to do laundry and other housework, for his own good. I'm about to explode. It's also his turn for a batch of dishes. He's going to make dinner late again. Maybe I just won't make dinner. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovedtodeath Posted March 11, 2011 Author Share Posted March 11, 2011 I have a boy like that. I can't sit there with him anymore, I have 3 other kids and housework. I'm wasting my life sitting there saying, "Do you work", "Focus", "You need to get this done", etc. Currently, he is on hour 3 of a 10 question grammar worksheet. I've walked off to do laundry and other housework, for his own good. I'm about to explode. It's also his turn for a batch of dishes. He's going to make dinner late again. Maybe I just won't make dinner. Yep. Her job is to clear the table and empty the dishwasher. She has made dinner late from that too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovedtodeath Posted March 11, 2011 Author Share Posted March 11, 2011 I have a boy like that. I can't sit there with him anymore, I have 3 other kids and housework. I'm wasting my life sitting there saying, "Do you work", "Focus", "You need to get this done", etc.Exactly! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nono Posted March 11, 2011 Share Posted March 11, 2011 Hey, my 7 yr old is like this. Except first thing in the morning. For the last few weeks, I've been setting the alarm for 6:15 and we roll out of bed and immediately start school work. After math is done, we get drinks (coffee for me) and we don't eat breakfast until 8:30, after the schoolwork is done. This dd, who would take about 3 hours to do all her seatwork and reading, is getting it all done in under 2 hours now. It's GREAT! Apparently, she is better focused before she's fully awake. :001_huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted March 11, 2011 Share Posted March 11, 2011 How about using a timer? Put it right in front of her and set it for 20 minutes. Tell her that the minutes she doesn't use for the assignment are HERS to play with. When I did this, I let ds play right away for the remaining minutes. After a while we changed the system to having him add up his minutes--he would do 2 or 3 subjects, adding up any minutes accrued, and then take a longer break of "his" added-up minutes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted March 11, 2011 Share Posted March 11, 2011 Both of my dds are like that (one more than the other). Whenever possible, I just avoid the dang paper work and get the work done orally or with manipulatives of some sort. Permission to use the white board often helps things along! But, sometimes it just needs to get done, and I nag from several feet away while doing other things! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Disney Dreaming Posted March 11, 2011 Share Posted March 11, 2011 Thanks to all of you!!!!! Now I know that it's not just my dd(7). The only way we stay on task with worksheets is if I sit beside her and let her tell me the answer and *I* write it!!! We are going to have her tested for ADHD next week, it is truly driving me crazy!!!! I am getting nothing done in my house because I am truly exhausted after dealing with her all morning. Her lack of attention began this year, I homeschooled her last year and she wasn't like this! I am beginning to believe that the Zyrtec she was on had a calming effect on her(she was on it for a year, and I didn't notice it helping so we pulled her off of it this fall). I do find it odd that most that replied have kids in the same age range. Is there something to this? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chelli Posted March 11, 2011 Share Posted March 11, 2011 How about using a timer? Put it right in front of her and set it for 20 minutes. Tell her that the minutes she doesn't use for the assignment are HERS to play with. When I did this, I let ds play right away for the remaining minutes. After a while we changed the system to having him add up his minutes--he would do 2 or 3 subjects, adding up any minutes accrued, and then take a longer break of "his" added-up minutes. :iagree:I do something similar as well using the kitchen timer. My dd7 is a time waster extraordinaire! I used to sit right there with her and nag, nag, nag trying to get her to do her work. We school and break in 30 minute blocks (I learned early on that trying to get her to do a lot of school in one sitting was not going to happen!). She does 30 minutes of school work, then gets a 30 minute break. We do this cycle about 4 times, so she spends about 2 hours on school a day. I explained to her that during her 30 minutes of school that is "my time." She must work hard and constantly during that time. If she does not, then I say nothing. I grab the timer and add 5 minutes to her work time which comes out of her off time. So now instead of 30 minutes doing school, she now has 35 and instead of a 30 minute break she now has 25. On bad days, I have to do this maybe twice for her to buckle down. On good days, not at all. I cannot tell you what a HUGE difference this system has made in our schooling. She is now in control of how much time she has to spend doing school, so I am not the bad guy and there is no screaming, crying, etc. At least not from me anymore! ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myfunnybunch Posted March 11, 2011 Share Posted March 11, 2011 I have a distracted boy. I have to sit with him most days to keep him on task. It works best when I've got my own project to do so that I am not focusing on him and frustrated because I can't go do something else. This is part of the reason I finally purchased a laptop. I've started lesson planning and catching up on emails while he is working. I just look up and say, "Focus" or tap on his paper when he gets distracted. It is aggravating, though. I have days too where I just walk away and let him finish when he finishes. Cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted March 11, 2011 Share Posted March 11, 2011 When DD was that age AND having absence seizures she would say things like: "I lost my place." "I was just thinking of something." "Where was I?" She also would skip problems, words, etc and not notice. Just a thought. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted March 11, 2011 Share Posted March 11, 2011 If there is too big an expanse of math problems in front of dd9, she will just shut down and do what you described. So I will tell her to do only 3 problems - then she gets to do 5 windmills or jumping jacks or something equally short but still fun to her. Then she does 3 more problems. At first, I had to put a sheet of paper to physically block out the other problems but now she doesn't need that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happypamama Posted March 12, 2011 Share Posted March 12, 2011 With my 9yo, who is also easily distracted, I do have to sit with her sometimes. She, per her own request, has a little desk in an alcove where she's less distracted by her brothers. I do limit what she has to write and do things orally when possible (she's also not a kid who needs to write something to remember it; she remembers just from reading or listening). For math, I only ask her to do enough problems that I can tell she understands the concept. I also break up her work so that she only has a few subjects to do, then a break before the other subjects. Math is first on the list. So our schedule looks like this (and it occasionally deviates from this order, but generally not much): math, history, memory work, handwriting practice, foreign language, break, science, literature, Bible study, and free reading of her choice -- it breaks up the different types of subjects, which helps keep her from getting bored and therefore distracted. She always has to write for handwriting practice and Bible study, but the others may or may not need writing; I try to limit it so that if, for instance, the history assignment requires writing, the science won't. But yes, sometimes I do just have to keep turning her back to task. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tex-mex Posted March 12, 2011 Share Posted March 12, 2011 She will write maybe one number... then scratch her leg, then she is frustrated because she forgot what she was doing... then she will write one number... then burp, one number... then yawn, fix her hair, etc. I get so irritated that I have to leave or I will yell at her. Ugh! Any advice? Sounds like distractibility or inattentiveness -- ADHD? I used these types of cushions for hyperactive children in my classroom: http://www.therapro.com/Disc-Cushion-by-AeroMat-P179866C4218.aspx If your child is full of energy and fidgets and wiggles, sitting in a desk chair for prolonged periods of time may be a particular challenge. Kids who have trouble sitting still may wobble their desks, rock their chairs, spring out of their seats, or otherwise do things to annoy the teacher without even realizing they're doing it. Another method I'd use is activity (outdoors) before a lesson. Get 'em outside and have them run their "sillies" out. Toss a ball. Jump rope. Whatever. Then come back in and focus on seatwork. Take another break if needed. Make an incentive chart for work done in a timely manner or day. If she did great that week, take her out for a treat that is inexpensive. Eventually, you want her to be aware of what is distracting her from studying. When she gets older, she will adapt and hopefully not let this be a problem. Talk to your pediatrician if the above methods do not work -- and it continues to be a problem as she may need meds to focus. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peela Posted March 12, 2011 Share Posted March 12, 2011 I can really, really relate- I have had to sit with my son for much of his childhood- even now at 15 he comes home from school and asks for my help with his homework. On a good day...I am fine. But I really know the feeling of getting so irritated I have to move away. Even just a couple of days ago I almost yelled at him "you need to ask your teacher this stuff because I don't want to learn it all just so I can help you" in regards to his algebra. I guess I do a few things- one, breathe and try not to take it out on the kid, who is just being a kid. Another- I have become very patient after years of homeschooling and having to go through this issue- so I have trained myself in patience. I also move away when I feel my temper boiling up. But overall, if I am feeling like that it usually means I am irritable anyway and this is just triggering me- and I need to get more sleep, eat better, take more walks etc Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted March 12, 2011 Share Posted March 12, 2011 We have bad math days. Sometimes I have to be the heavy and take away things he delights in (or just discuss it). Having something wonderful at the end, waiting, like Papa ready to take him to the park really helps. Some days he is just a space cadet, others "spot on". I take slow even breaths and speak more slowly. Some times I get directive about it. "7! Yes, 7 is the answer now WRITE IT DOWN before you forget. ..... You forgot? Okay, lets start this problem again. .... Now we are at the point where you were about to forget it. WRITE IT DOWN. NOW. See, now you have it. It cannot run away." etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kim.4dogs Posted March 12, 2011 Share Posted March 12, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug: I knit furiously. Bite my tongue. And knit some more. This works wonders for me! I can be so much more patient this way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovedtodeath Posted March 12, 2011 Author Share Posted March 12, 2011 Thanks for all of the replies! I think that getting up early might work. I will try that one. Does anyone else have a solution (not just commiseration)? DH is ready to send her to PS! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2scouts Posted March 12, 2011 Share Posted March 12, 2011 My 8 year old is like that. It drives me crazy. I tell him not to waste my time. I tell him he's missing time for play. I tell him he's driving me crazy. Nothing has worked yet and you have my sympathy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
silliness7 Posted March 12, 2011 Share Posted March 12, 2011 take up knitting. eta: or whatever...just so she's wasting her time and not yours. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bookfiend Posted March 12, 2011 Share Posted March 12, 2011 Thanks for all of the replies! I think that getting up early might work. I will try that one. Does anyone else have a solution (not just commiseration)? DH is ready to send her to PS![/QUOTE] Does he think they will be more patient? No snark intended. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AngieW in Texas Posted March 12, 2011 Share Posted March 12, 2011 My oldest is ADD and it is driving her crazy right now. What little ability she had to focus and concentrate has just completely left her. She is not doing well at all in her cc classes right now and she's worried about losing her full ride scholarship. I've been working on finding a psych for her, but nobody will take new patients with Cigna and if we go without insurance we've got the issue that they won't see here because she's almost 18yo, but isn't 18yo yet. I've got to find her somebody though. She turns 18yo in two weeks. Maybe now I can get a psych to at least let me set up an appt for the week after her birthday. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovedtodeath Posted March 12, 2011 Author Share Posted March 12, 2011 Thanks for all of the replies! I think that getting up early might work. I will try that one. Does anyone else have a solution (not just commiseration)? DH is ready to send her to PS![/QUOTE] Does he think they will be more patient? No snark intended. He thinks that she will behave better for someone else. He also thinks that I am proving that I don't have what it takes to homeschool because we don't get it done, I call him upset about it, and DS isn't getting enough attention. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KrissiK Posted March 12, 2011 Share Posted March 12, 2011 My 8 year old is like that. It drives me crazy. I tell him not to waste my time. I tell him he's missing time for play. I tell him he's driving me crazy. Nothing has worked yet and you have my sympathy. This is me and my almost 8 year old. He just looks at me and says, "but I don't like school and I don't want to do this!" And I'm like, "Duh!" It's very frustrating and I have no advice. He doesn't have ADD or anything. He's just a normal boy who really would rather not do copywork or practice his contractions. Actually, I think if he did say he liked that I'd think he wasn't normal. So, I just let him sit... 1 hour.... 2 hours... 3 hours... you're missing your video game time... your brother and sister are outside playing with your friends and you're still sitting there. It about drives me batty! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michelle l Posted March 13, 2011 Share Posted March 13, 2011 Both of my dds are like that (one more than the other). Whenever possible, I just avoid the dang paper work and get the work done orally or with manipulatives of some sort. Permission to use the white board often helps things along! :iagree: She's likely not any happier about the amount of time it's taking than you are. My 9 year old has gotten like this again lately, and I'm having success with changing things up a bit as the above poster said, or by adding some movement or games. Sometimes (often) I get so frustrated that I forget he really is still young and needs my support rather than my condemnation for not being able to focus. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted March 13, 2011 Share Posted March 13, 2011 What are you doing that takes her so long? How many problems in math, say? Are you doing lots of writing? (Stop, if so.) Even SWB says to make it quick for young kids. Maybe it's not developmentally appropriate material, and you're driving each other crazy for no good reason? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovedtodeath Posted March 13, 2011 Author Share Posted March 13, 2011 (edited) What are you doing that takes her so long? How many problems in math, say? Are you doing lots of writing? (Stop, if so.) Even SWB says to make it quick for young kids. Maybe it's not developmentally appropriate material, and you're driving each other crazy for no good reason? Nice guess, but no... we only get 1/2 page done in MM some days, and 1.5-2 is the normal amount to finish the curriculum in a year. There are days when she doesn't write a sentence at all and other days where she will write 3-5. Breaking it down by writing it on the whiteboard is a good idea. I will try that on Monday. She does have ADD. I think I will try green tea to her breakfast. Edited March 13, 2011 by Lovedtodeath Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovedtodeath Posted March 13, 2011 Author Share Posted March 13, 2011 Hey, my 7 yr old is like this. Except first thing in the morning. For the last few weeks, I've been setting the alarm for 6:15 and we roll out of bed and immediately start school work. After math is done, we get drinks (coffee for me) and we don't eat breakfast until 8:30, after the schoolwork is done. This dd, who would take about 3 hours to do all her seatwork and reading, is getting it all done in under 2 hours now. It's GREAT! Apparently, she is better focused before she's fully awake. :001_huh: :iagree:I do something similar as well using the kitchen timer. My dd7 is a time waster extraordinaire! I used to sit right there with her and nag, nag, nag trying to get her to do her work. We school and break in 30 minute blocks (I learned early on that trying to get her to do a lot of school in one sitting was not going to happen!). She does 30 minutes of school work, then gets a 30 minute break. We do this cycle about 4 times, so she spends about 2 hours on school a day. I explained to her that during her 30 minutes of school that is "my time." She must work hard and constantly during that time. If she does not, then I say nothing. I grab the timer and add 5 minutes to her work time which comes out of her off time. So now instead of 30 minutes doing school, she now has 35 and instead of a 30 minute break she now has 25. On bad days, I have to do this maybe twice for her to buckle down. On good days, not at all. I cannot tell you what a HUGE difference this system has made in our schooling. She is now in control of how much time she has to spend doing school, so I am not the bad guy and there is no screaming, crying, etc. At least not from me anymore! ;) Okay I am going to combine all of these ideas. Get up early, do school immediately, only drinks for breakfast, 1/2 hour of school work then 1/2 hour break, write things on a whiteboard or break it into smaller amounts of math in some other way, add green tea. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted March 13, 2011 Share Posted March 13, 2011 (edited) I know people have got to do what they have got to do, But I think this is a good place to share personal stories. I didn't do a formal math program with my youngest until she was 9, and now she is doing algebra. Sometimes it's better to wait. I am not saying we didn't play with math or talk about math, or 'do' math....but no formal program. She didn't know she was supposed to hate it, kwim? We didn't do WWE until she was older, either, and now she is writing reams of really good stuff. I just don't see how making everything a chore at age 6 or 7 or even 8 is helpful to a good attitude about learning when they are already interested in the whole world, and all the stories of the world. What I talk away from WTM for the grammar years is "Fill their heads with stories!" I believe ADD is real, but young children need to move and play more than they need to sit and write. Little kids can leans heaps and heaps well before the time comes to sit down and write. And when that time does come, and they are truly ready, they don't have in their minds how boring and horrible it is. Nice guess, but no... we only get 1/2 page done in MM some days, and 1.5-2 is the normal amount to finish the curriculum in a year. There are days when she doesn't write a sentence at all and other days where she will write 3-5. Breaking it down by writing it on the whiteboard is a good idea. I will try that on Monday. She does have ADD. I think I will try green tea to her breakfast. Edited March 13, 2011 by LibraryLover Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tree House Academy Posted March 13, 2011 Share Posted March 13, 2011 No she is eight and a half. LOL I forgot that I don't have that in my sig anymore. If I don't sit there to keep her on task, then she completely gives up and does nothing. If I sit to keep her on task, then it takes 3 times longer than it should and I have other responsibilities including a 3 year old. She usually wastes so much time that he gets tired of behaving and starts being loud and obnoxiously distracting. LOL - then she totally sounds like my 7.5 year old. He is doing better, but he is definitely a dawdler...especially when it is something "hard" like copywork or one specific phonics page that he hates. *sigh* I bring the computer with me and sit right beside him. He works, stops and whines, works some more, etc. and I get out my frustrations by chatting here! LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted March 13, 2011 Share Posted March 13, 2011 Oh yeah. Every DAY here with Becca. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovedtodeath Posted March 13, 2011 Author Share Posted March 13, 2011 I know people have got to do what they have got to do, But I think this is a good place to share personal stories. I didn't do a formal math program with my youngest until she was 9, and now she is doing algebra. Sometimes it's better to wait. I am not saying we didn't play with math or talk about math, or 'do' math....but no formal program. She didn't know she was supposed to hate it, kwim? We didn't do WWE until she was older, either, and now she is writing reams of really good stuff. I just don't see how making everything a chore at age 6 or 7 or even 8 is helpful to a good attitude about learning when they are already interested in the whole world, and all the stories of the world. What I talk away from WTM for the grammar years is "Fill their heads with stories!" I believe ADD is real, but young children need to move and play more than they need to sit and write. Little kids can leans heaps and heaps well before the time comes to sit down and write. And when that time does come, and they are truly ready, they don't have in their minds how boring and horrible it is. :grouphug:Thank you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ondreeuh Posted March 13, 2011 Share Posted March 13, 2011 Swiss Miss cocoa with caffeine has as much caffeine as a cup of coffee. We get it delivered on a set schedule from Amazon. Sanity saver! My dd usually does her schoolwork in her room but the other night she was having too much trouble focusing so she sat with me at the table. At first I used the buzzer from our Taboo game to "bzzz!" her every time she started daydreaming. I tied her pencil to a string around her wrist because she kept dropping it. I posted on Facebook about her antics and said she had to finish the page before I'd let her read the comments. By the time the cocoa kicked in she was working efficiently. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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