TheCoffeeChick Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 Dh and I talked last night. We both agreed to pray about it individually and then talk about it again in a day or two. Luckily she is not due for a few weeks so we do have time to think and pray about it. But my heart...... :grouphug: Praying for guidance for both you and your dh. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katemary63 Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 I'll be 47 next week, feeling often old and tired, but if someone asked me to adopt a newborn baby girl, well to say that I'd jump at it and be beside myself with happiness would not even begin to describe it. :iagree: I am 47 and my DH is 50. We have 4 children and our youngest is 10. We most definately don't plan on having more or seeking out adoption or anything like that. But if someone came up to me and offered me her infant daughter for adoption, I'd shout out hallelujah at the top of my lungs. DH too. We'd take her in a heart beat! What is best for you, I have no idea. I don't think you'd be wrong either way. You just have to seek out God's plan for your family, as others have said. But....wouldn't it be.....precious and special.....for your daughter to have a sister of the same nationality, a sister for life that she had so much in common with? Something to think about. God bless you and guide you in your decision. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rafiki Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weat4 Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 Aw, I would have such a hard time saying no and I'm 42! Our oldest is adopted and has been such an incredible gift her entire life ~ she's 12 now, so that's saying something!!! My brother and I are 11.5 years apart (I'm older :glare:) and we are best friends and have been for about a decade now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sahamamama Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 Well, I think you will end up adopting this baby. As soon as I saw the title of your post, my heart JUMPED for JOY and I thought, "She's going to adopt another baby." :D I wish you all the best with it. Heather, you are 40. So what? I was 36 when I met my husband, 37 when we married, just over 38 when my oldest was born, and not quite 40 when the twins came. In between that, I had cancer, surgery, treatment, two rough pregnancies, and two C-sections. My husband was in school, we moved, we changed jobs, we bought a house. Wow. No wonder we were tired. :lol::lol::lol::lol: You can do this. I am nearly 44 and have a six year old and twin four year olds. That baby stage was a blur for us, but it can be done. I just sold our high chairs and cribs and strollers on Craigslist -- we HAD to clean out that baby stuff, it was time to move on, KWIM? The baby stage goes by and you have Preema to help. She loves you. God will show you what to do. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in Neverland Posted January 25, 2011 Author Share Posted January 25, 2011 So I am standing in the bathroom this morning brushing my teeth and dh is in the shower (probably TMI) but as I am brushing my teeth my dh says completely out of nowhere "How about the name Olivia?" :svengo: No we have not "decided" yet...still praying...still talking. But that took me by surprise as he is always the hesitant one! I am both excited and scared at the same time by the thought of it. If you don't mind, please pray for us that we make the right decision! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cindy in C-ville Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 Oh, Heather, praying and smiling ... just praying and smiling. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dobela Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 Heather, My son loves having a sister that looks like him. He says he likes being adopted way more now that he 'isn't the only brown kid in the family'. Not that having even numbers of a race are important to everyone, but for some reason it is to my son,at least he doesn't feel like he stands out in a crowd as much. It might be some thing important some day to Natalie as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sugarfoot Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 So I am standing in the bathroom this morning brushing my teeth and dh is in the shower (probably TMI) but as I am brushing my teeth my dh says completely out of nowhere "How about the name Olivia?" :svengo: No we have not "decided" yet...still praying...still talking. But that took me by surprise as he is always the hesitant one! I am both excited and scared at the same time by the thought of it. If you don't mind, please pray for us that we make the right decision! I'll pray for you, and FWIW, I love the name Olivia! My youngest two are 14 months apart, born when I was 39 and almost 41. Good luck with your decision! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JVA Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 Oh, Heather, praying and smiling ... just praying and smiling. Heather- I've been away for many days (at my niece's wedding in So. CA- too FUN!) and I come upon your news...... all I can say is I :iagree::iagree::iagree: You wanted a little girl so badly...maybe the Lord is blessing you because of your commitment to Him and life you are giving your children....may you know His peace as you pray for this decision. So happy for you all! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 So I am standing in the bathroom this morning brushing my teeth and dh is in the shower (probably TMI) but as I am brushing my teeth my dh says completely out of nowhere "How about the name Olivia?" :svengo: No we have not "decided" yet...still praying...still talking. But that took me by surprise as he is always the hesitant one! I am both excited and scared at the same time by the thought of it. If you don't mind, please pray for us that we make the right decision! Ha ha. Hubby has already adopted her. You can't pass up on someone who has a name. :lol: Personally I'll think you're crazy if you don't take her. You have an ahma, you will cope! :) Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 So I am standing in the bathroom this morning brushing my teeth and dh is in the shower (probably TMI) but as I am brushing my teeth my dh says completely out of nowhere "How about the name Olivia?" :svengo: No we have not "decided" yet...still praying...still talking. But that took me by surprise as he is always the hesitant one! I am both excited and scared at the same time by the thought of it. If you don't mind, please pray for us that we make the right decision! Well now... we have a rule here: "If you name it, you have to keep it." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NanceXToo Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 Ha ha. Hubby has already adopted her. You can't pass up on someone who has a name. :lol: Personally I'll think you're crazy if you don't take her. You have an ahma, you will cope! :) Rosie Well now... we have a rule here: "If you name it, you have to keep it." Ha, yeah, sorry, but I think you guys HAVE decided, but just haven't fully admitted it yet :P (And I think it's great!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaT Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 Heather - I've been off the boards busy all day, so I just saw this. I went through an experience so similar to yours with our last daughter and felt I had to share it with you. Our attorney called us about adopting a baby. We had an adopted daughter who would be 28 months when the baby was born, a little boy who would be 9 months old, and three older children. We both felt we could not say no right away and prayed about it. We said yes. She is our Olivia (yes, her name is Olivia!) and I cannot imagine life without her. She was meant to be part of our family. She and her brother, who is only 9 months older, are SO close. I cannot envision his childhood without hers. It was definitely hard the first year having three very small ones, but I wouldn't change a thing. :001_smile: I will be praying for you that you KNOW in your heart for sure. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
journeytolily Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 So I am standing in the bathroom this morning brushing my teeth and dh is in the shower (probably TMI) but as I am brushing my teeth my dh says completely out of nowhere "How about the name Olivia?" :svengo: No we have not "decided" yet...still praying...still talking. But that took me by surprise as he is always the hesitant one! I am both excited and scared at the same time by the thought of it. If you don't mind, please pray for us that we make the right decision! Ahh, Olivia's are wonderful - that's my 2 yr old's name! I have a very strong hunch that you will soon have an Olivia of your own! Veronica Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
akmommy Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 Well now... we have a rule here: "If you name it, you have to keep it." :iagree: Oh, and Olivia is a beautiful name. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AuntieM Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 Ooooo, shivers! (the good kind!) Olivia. That's lovely. Your dh is a dear. Heather - I've been off the boards busy all day, so I just saw this. I went through an experience so similar to yours with our last daughter and felt I had to share it with you. Our attorney called us about adopting a baby. We had an adopted daughter who would be 28 months when the baby was born, a little boy who would be 9 months old, and three older children. We both felt we could not say no right away and prayed about it. We said yes. She is our Olivia (yes, her name is Olivia!) and I cannot imagine life without her. She was meant to be part of our family. She and her brother, who is only 9 months older, are SO close. I cannot envision his childhood without hers. It was definitely hard the first year having three very small ones, but I wouldn't change a thing. :001_smile: I will be praying for you that you KNOW in your heart for sure. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sahamamama Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 Ha, yeah, sorry, but I think you guys HAVE decided, but just haven't fully admitted it yet :P (And I think it's great!) Exactly. They know, they're just in temporary denial. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AngelBee Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 Olivia is beautiful! Praying for you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 Olivia? Cuteness! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
5knights3maidens Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 Why is this crazy? I think you should accept this and you may have another beautiful little girl with a beautiful name...Olivia. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 Will Olivia be a doctor or an accountant? :D :lol: Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyfaithe Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 Will Olivia be a doctor or an accountant? :D :lol: Rosie :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyfaithe Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 Well now... we have a rule here: "If you name it, you have to keep it." Us too... sounds like decision is made. CONGRATS!!!!! :party::party::party: Faithe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenL Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 I'm just coming into this now, Heather, but when I read your OP, I instantly felt warmth and happiness that you were being given this opportunity. It surely must be a God-thing if this particular baby made you stop and *think* rather than saying no right away. It is not at all crazy! It sounds like your husband has already starting loving this little one. As hard as it may be initially, God often leads us to where we need to be. It reminds me of how He says if we follow him and obey, he will bless us over and over again with more than what we originally asked for. Praying you will find your answer soon! I love her name, btw! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in Neverland Posted January 25, 2011 Author Share Posted January 25, 2011 Will Olivia be a doctor or an accountant? :D :lol: Rosie Neurosurgeon?? I really think I am crazy. Really. Natalie's middle name is Sarah after my mother. I asked dh "Should we name her Olivia Carolyn?" Carolyn is his mother's name (she died of cancer several years ago). I am picking out middle names???????????? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johanna Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 I can't see any reason why you shouldn't :) If you have enough love to share, thats all you need! What a blessing to give Natalie a sister ;) We just started the adoption journey!! Updated in my blog!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SonshineLearner Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 Olivia and Natalie are equal in beauty... as far as names go... they go so nicely together!! I'm so happy for your possibility!! Wish you could pass some of the others over here!! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 You'll sleep better tonight if you just accept this. ;) Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CalicoKat Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 So I am standing in the bathroom this morning brushing my teeth and dh is in the shower (probably TMI) but as I am brushing my teeth my dh says completely out of nowhere "How about the name Olivia?" :svengo: No we have not "decided" yet...still praying...still talking. But that took me by surprise as he is always the hesitant one! I am both excited and scared at the same time by the thought of it. If you don't mind, please pray for us that we make the right decision! Awwww he's already to be wrapped around another little daughter's pinky. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sonshine Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 It seems we are all living vicariously through you. I would love to have a baby girl - my babies are 10 and no grandbabies yet. Just the thought of having a baby girl for our own makes me happy. Thank you allowing us to share in your joy (am I sounding too pushy here?) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 add me to the green with envy camp. Maybe after I have finished my teaching degree I should apply for a job in Malaysia... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misidawnrn Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 Olivia is my ODD and Sarah is my YDD. I know what quandry you are in. I was just called today by my exMIL (we got along very well) and she wants to know if I would adopt her neices baby...UGH...I would in a split second but....DH is almost 45, just took on farming a neighbors farm which is very large and I am finishing my BSN in nursing this year and have plans to go on for my MSN/Midwife next year. A baby really just isn't a good fit for us right now. I am sad about it, expecially since it is a little boy and DH doesn't have a boy. BUT...the good thing is I asked exMIL if I could call a nurse I work with that has had a lung transplant for cystic fibrosis, is very healthy but can't bear children due to all of the transplant meds. I called her and she is very excited. Good luck with your decision. I think Natalie needs a playmate myself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairytalemama Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 I have been following this post intently. I can't wait to hear what your decision is :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brigitte Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 Neurosurgeon?? I really think I am crazy. Really. Natalie's middle name is Sarah after my mother. I asked dh "Should we name her Olivia Carolyn?" Carolyn is his mother's name (she died of cancer several years ago). I am picking out middle names???????????? I think the decision has been made (for you or by you, who knows), you both just need to say it out loud and move on to the next step. Congratulations! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Giraffe Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 Oh, Heather, praying and smiling ... just praying and smiling. Yep - me too. :D:grouphug::D:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Storm Bay Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 So I am standing in the bathroom this morning brushing my teeth and dh is in the shower (probably TMI) but as I am brushing my teeth my dh says completely out of nowhere "How about the name Olivia?" :svengo: No we have not "decided" yet...still praying...still talking. But that took me by surprise as he is always the hesitant one! I am both excited and scared at the same time by the thought of it. If you don't mind, please pray for us that we make the right decision! I'm praying. Olivia is a great name. Ha ha. Hubby has already adopted her. You can't pass up on someone who has a name. :lol: Personally I'll think you're crazy if you don't take her. You have an ahma, you will cope! :) Rosie Why do I find myself agreeing with you when I posted cons, too? But the crazy thing is that I do :). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newbie Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 I like Olivia Rose. But, I would probably pick a Malaysian name that meant blessing for a middle name, or surprise. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nakia Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 Heather - I've been off the boards busy all day, so I just saw this. I went through an experience so similar to yours with our last daughter and felt I had to share it with you. Our attorney called us about adopting a baby. We had an adopted daughter who would be 28 months when the baby was born, a little boy who would be 9 months old, and three older children. We both felt we could not say no right away and prayed about it. We said yes. She is our Olivia (yes, her name is Olivia!) and I cannot imagine life without her. She was meant to be part of our family. She and her brother, who is only 9 months older, are SO close. I cannot envision his childhood without hers. It was definitely hard the first year having three very small ones, but I wouldn't change a thing. :001_smile: I will be praying for you that you KNOW in your heart for sure. Tammy, I thought about you and your awesome family right away when I read this thread!!!! And then when she said the name Olivia, I got goosebumps. :) I think we might be meeting Princess Olivia very soon. xoxo Heather! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 Heather!!!! I'm praying for you and your dh...I know this isn't an easy decision. Can I just say that I think Olivia sounds nice, and my aunt's name is Carolyn Clarice so I really like Carolyn as both a first or a middle name. Faith Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 So I am standing in the bathroom this morning brushing my teeth and dh is in the shower (probably TMI) but as I am brushing my teeth my dh says completely out of nowhere "How about the name Olivia?" :svengo: No we have not "decided" yet...still praying...still talking. But that took me by surprise as he is always the hesitant one! I am both excited and scared at the same time by the thought of it. If you don't mind, please pray for us that we make the right decision! I think you already have :D Well now... we have a rule here: "If you name it, you have to keep it." :iagree: Neurosurgeon?? I really think I am crazy. Really. Natalie's middle name is Sarah after my mother. I asked dh "Should we name her Olivia Carolyn?" Carolyn is his mother's name (she died of cancer several years ago). I am picking out middle names???????????? Congrats! I like Olivia Rose too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 Pros We can afford it. I don't want to be a wet blanket, but the continuing costs of another child are a considerable issue. That's one more child to support through the early years and put through university. It sounds very hard-hearted, but one reason we stopped at two was to make sure that we could afford their expenses. We didn't want to find ourselves spending so much on children that we ended up being a burden on them through poverty in our old age. Best wishes Laura Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jujsky Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 Heather, I haven't read everything, but I read your original post, #102, & #108 as well as a few posts in between. FWIW, after meeting our son and flying back to the US to await our adoption date a couple weeks later, we learned I was pregnant. DD wasn't planned, but was certainly a welcome surprise! My kids are 13 1/2 months apart. I won't lie -- it was difficult when they were babies, but now that they're older it's easier than having them spaced even 2 years apart. DH and I also went into the adoption with the understanding that if any "surprise siblings" came out of the woodwork, we would adopt them as well. I know this isn't the same thing. These girls aren't biological sisters, but it seems almost kismet that the best friend of Natalie's bio mom not only got pregnant while you're still in Malaysia, but specifically wants you to adopt her baby. Not that this should be a huge factor in your decision-making because ultimately you have to do what is in the best interest of your family, but this young woman probably has very little in her life that she can control. She is trying to control the future of her child and provide her with a good life, and in her mind your family is the best shot she has for her baby. She obviously loves her child and must have heard a lot of wonderful things about your family if she wants you to adopt her. I wish you peace with whatever you decide. This must be one of the most difficult decisions you've ever had to make. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristineW Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 So I am standing in the bathroom this morning brushing my teeth and dh is in the shower (probably TMI) but as I am brushing my teeth my dh says completely out of nowhere "How about the name Olivia?" :svengo: No we have not "decided" yet...still praying...still talking. But that took me by surprise as he is always the hesitant one! I am both excited and scared at the same time by the thought of it. If you don't mind, please pray for us that we make the right decision! Smiling and praying too. Olivia IS a great name. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hikin' Mama Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 Sounds quite sane in fact, especially since your youngest is only one. I think it would be wonderful for her to have a little sister so close in age! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tree House Academy Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 I will just go ahead and say, "Congratualtions" and I can't wait to see pics of Olivia Carolyn. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sonshine Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 Two boys then two girls - everyone has a sister and everyone has a brother, and they are grouped together by sex. What a perfect family. It almost sounds planned out..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Woolspinner Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 Olivia means peace. A beautiful name! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Storm Bay Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 I think you already have :D :iagree: Congrats! I like Olivia Rose too. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in Neverland Posted January 25, 2011 Author Share Posted January 25, 2011 OK here's where we are at... we talked and prayed and prayed and talked.... And we are going for it. :D Dh said to me "We have always said that if we had the money and the opportunity we would have a house full of kids. Well it's time to put up or shut up." :lol::lol: He has a way of getting right to the point. There is no REAL reason for us NOT to. We love kids. We have said for years that we wanted a big family. We can afford it. The baby is being placed right into our lives without us looking for her. etc. etc. We are proceeding cautiously as this is a private adoption and anything could go wrong. But the adoption liason is contacting the birthmom today to let her know we want to move forward with the adoption so I guess we will go from there! So with God's blessing and provision, in about 5 or 6 weeks we should have Olivia Carolyn joining our family! We have yet to tell anyone IRL and we are going to wait until the details are firm but we are all thrilled including Prema who loves babies!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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