What if your dd didn't want to shave her legs or armpits?

[Plucky]

What if she found out some Europeans and even women in this country don't shave and decided that she didn't want to either? What if it were to make a statement or just because she didn't see why she should have to shave just because it's the culture? How would you handle this?

 

This is a hypothetical question btw.

[Oakblossoms]

I would be proud of her!

 

My mom doesn't shave and I've been known to boycott. My dh loves hairy armpits, so it doesn't bother him.

[astrid]

I'd rope her, gag her, tie her down and shave them myself. After all, don't want to embarrass anyone she should happen to meet out in public! :lol:

 

Naw....just kiddin'! Hmmm......well, I guess as long as she wasn't embarrassed, I'd wait it out. Haven't crossed the leg-shaving bridge yet (dd has light hair on her legs) but it may crop up this summer.

 

good question, though.....lots of food for thought.

[HomeOnTheRanch]

I wouldn't make her. Sometimes I wish I wasn't so self-conscious to have to shave every day. DH has actually said he wishes I wouldn't shave my legs (then they wouldn't be so prickly).

 

Let her know that if she ever wants to then you'll show her the ropes. Otherwise, let her decide for herself.

 

:grouphug:

[Tess in the Burbs]

I think it will pass. I had friends who didn't do this. I also tried it for awhile but it got gross, lol. I would personally say ok and ignore it but keep some razors in the bathroom cabinet available should she change her mind. I would also state that I preferred to shave over not shaving and let her decide. Even now I don't daily....and in winter I go weeks. And your dd will find what is comfortable for her. :eek:

 

But I would think this isn't a battle worth worrying about. I would be willing to guess a lot of girls who are in a crunchy crowd in hs and college try the nonshaving route :lol:

[JFSinIL]

I would not react at all. It is her body. Even if I did not care for it - I would not say anything after an initial query as to "why?"

 

Note - this is from a mom who has a teen boy with hair past his shoulders now - nice kid, but he looks like a commie pinko hippie freak (as my Dad will say when he sees him in June!)

[orangeblossom]

How old is your dd?

I think that makes a difference.

 

I had to think about that one...but I would most likely let her do what she wants in the long run. Chances are she'd change her mind eventually. If she hasn't been shaving long (or hasn't at all yet) I'd ask her to do it for a certain period of time, then she can quit and see what she prefers.

[drama_mama]

Since it is her body I think it is her decision. It does not affect health or well being in anyway. It at the very least shows she is trying to make decisions for herself without regards to social norms and considering society I would be proud of her!

[Jennifer in NH]

I was not allowed to shave until I was at least 16. If she doesn't want to shave, then so be it! Now, if she doesn't want to wear deodorant...or wash etc...that is a different matter. I honestly don't see the point in shaving all the time anyway....in the winter I shave my legs much less often than summer time so that is where my bias is.:001_smile: I see it as a cultural thing, like make up (Which I don't wear either) and not so much a hygene issue. I'm sure others will offer different opinions.:D

[Miss Peregrine]

It would be fine with me.

[Harriet Vane]

In choosing battles, this is not one I would fight. Ones I would fight include bad language, drinking, smoking--the biggies. Shaving is more a personal style issue. I think it is reasonable to have a discussion laying out the pros and cons, but it's something I would probably let your dd ultimately decide herself.

[Plucky]

Any age, it's not about my dd. The bra discussion just kind of sparked a thought on how much we encourage our kids or even coerce them into certain things, for their good or otherwise. :)

[at the beach]

I'd say, good for her. I also would be proud of her.

[Jenny in Atl]

I wish mine had wanted to wait. She is growing up too fast.... :willy_nilly:

[Mekanamom]

It wouldn't bother me. :)

[yslek]

I'd say, good for her. I also would be proud of her.

 

:iagree: I wish I'd never started (legs, at least.)

 

Kelsy

[nmoira]

I wouldn't think twice about it. In our neighborhood, she wouldn't feel at all out of place. :)

[Quiver0f10]

I would be fine with it. It's her body and her descision. Now, when my oldest was 12 and decided she wasn't going to brush her teeth anymore, I did have to fight that one LOL.

 

Kids, gotta love em. :D

[Alenee]

My first reaction is EWWWWWW! I have always liked the feel of my nice, soft freshly shaved legs. With armpits, you have to consider others. More hair there means more odor. If you want people to enjoy being around you, it doesn't hurt to smell good or just be odorless. I have a sensitive nose and it grates on me when I smell people's BO. My dd would have to buy her own deodorant and USE it if she wanted to go that route as long as she's living in my house. As for her legs, I could care less.

[bkpan]

I'd say, good for her. I also would be proud of her.

:iagree:

[dangermom]

I wouldn't worry about it, though I might point out the armpit/smell thing. I'm a rather lazy shaver myself (happily my husband doesn't care at all). I spent a year in Europe as a teenager and never managed to get the habit completely back!

[GailV]

It would be rather hypocritical of me to say there's something wrong with it, since I'm pretty laid back about it myself. The other day I shaved my legs for the first time in several months, and even at that I just did the lower part.

 

I've told 12yo dd that if she wants to start, that's fine with me -- just let me know if she wants me to purchase any supplies. I desperately wanted to shave my legs when I was 12. I thought it was soooo cool and grown up. Obviously I've gotten over that concept.

[Lynn in WI]

That would be fine with me.

 

(And since she'd still be wearing deoderant every day and showering I don't see the b.o. issue as a problem.)

[SheilaZ]

Now, I only said "wear a bra" because of the creepy old man factor.

If the gril doesn't want to shave her legs....then so be it.

 

I would double take if she was 12 or so and had hairy legs. (Wondering if it was a personal choice or just not being allowed to by mom:001_huh:)

An older girl with hairy legs wouldn't bother me a bit. My neice is 15 and she doesn't like to shave unless it summer time. I don't shave much during the winter myself. So we are little kindred spirits.

However, we have both worn bras since we began developing.:D

[RoughCollie]

If my DD didn't want to shave, I would not care because I would figure it is her decision.

 

My DD is 12 and she does shave. She also wants to wear full make-up, dye her hair blonde, and wear clothes that make her look like she dances on tables for a living.

 

Those issues are more important than shaving, IMO. Those are the things I said no to.

[Mrs Mungo]

What if she found out some Europeans and even women in this country don't shave and decided that she didn't want to either? What if it were to make a statement or just because she didn't see why she should have to shave just because it's the culture? How would you handle this?

 

This is a hypothetical question btw.

 

If it doesn't bother her why should it bother me?

[Annie G]

Almost 16 year old dd just started shaving in the last couple of months, mostly due to the costumes she's had to wear for this year's productions. She never cared before and didn't mind when friends teased her. But for some reason, she recently decided that she'd shave her armpits. (she said the costumes were the reason) I don't think she's shaving her legs.

I don't care either way. After going through anorexia with her oldest sister, I have found that small issues really don't bother me.

[Plaid Dad]

As long as she was comfortable with it (and understood that she might get some looks or critical comments), it wouldn't bother me at all.

[sleepy]

Her body, her decision. It wouldn't bother me one bit.

[WTMindy]

Fine with me, but I'd get her some good deoderant so she doesn't stink!

[Joanne]

Any age, it's not about my dd. The bra discussion just kind of sparked a thought on how much we encourage our kids or even coerce them into certain things, for their good or otherwise.

 

I would talk with her about the cultural expectation, reactions she may get, questions she may be asked.

 

Not in an influential way, but to prepare her for making a slightly counter cultural decision.

 

My mom "forbid" me from shaving my legs. I felt so violated. I imagine making a similar decision for my dd would feel like a violation as well.

 

It helps that I don't believe it's necessary for hygiene and I see it as a culturally accepted practice rather than one rooted in practicality.

[homeschoolmom]

Not MY thing but it's her body/her call.

 

Her clothing on the otherhand I reserve the right to veto should the need arise.

[Colleen]

I can't imagine how anyone could force their daughter to shave if she chose not to do so. I suppose the parents could strongly discourage the young woman's preference ~ if it actually mattered to them ~ but I can't see that there'd be anything to "do" about it, per se.

[LadyR]

I'm going against the majority here. I would make my dd shave if she didn't want to. To me shaving is part of a hygiene routine. Maybe it's a cultural thing here. I've never seen a woman with hairy armpits - except for one European visitor.

[Cindy in FL.]

That would be an issue I'd let her make a decision about.

 

Cindy

[kalanamak]

lot you couldn't tell my legs were hairy. I get some stares at the Y, but at 50, why should I care?

I didn't shave as a teen, but neither did 90% of "my crowd".

If i have to do anything in a dress it is not a short one, and I wear heavy kneehigh hose and no one is the wiser. In shorts on the beach, people just have to cope with me. They do with men.

[Mommy22alyns]

That's not a live or die battle for me. I'd probably make sure she was prepared for any reaction she might receive, and then let her make her own choice. What am I going to do, hop in the shower and shave her pits for her?

 

It's like where I am with ear piercing and Rebecca. To me, she's old enough to have them done now. But she's going to make that choice. She has a pretty good idea of what exactly happens, so she's not interested right now! ;) When she's interested, we'll discuss it and make sure she knows what all it entails.

 

I probably sound really permissive, don't I? I just want to choose my battles carefully.

[Colleen]

nt

[Mommyfaithe]

I would not react at all. It is her body. Even if I did not care for it - I would not say anything after an initial query as to "why?"

 

Note - this is from a mom who has a teen boy with hair past his shoulders now - nice kid, but he looks like a commie pinko hippie freak (as my Dad will say when he sees him in June!)

 

Yup...I gots one of those commie pinko hippie boys....I love him!!!

Oh...and I hate shaving and only bother in the summer when I might embarass my teen dd's...as for me shaving is a big ol' waste of time...a little fur never hurt anyone :tongue_smilie:

 

~~Faithe

[Jenny in Florida]

. . . Good for you!

 

Honestly, I'm so sick of shaving my legs, and I truly think it's stupid. But somehow, I can't get brave enough to actually stop. So, if my daughter didn't want to waste time and energy on something so superficial, I'd cheer her on.

[Miss Peregrine]

I'm going against the majority here. I would make my dd shave if she didn't want to. To me shaving is part of a hygiene routine. Maybe it's a cultural thing here. I've never seen a woman with hairy armpits - except for one European visitor.

 

 

How would you do this???

[E_Edgerton]

This post has been with me all day. I have been thinking it over and it is such a thought provoking one, nice work!

I had a roommate from Norway. We spoke about this at length one evening. She was a swimmer and did some international competing so after this experience with so many shaved girls, she, of course felt compelled to shave. Then when she returned home she sort of stood out and many women and girls asked her why she did it. She didn't really have an answer...I don't have an answer. When I was 12 or so I took my mom's razor, lathered up, and have been pretty smooth every since...the occasionally lapse has occurred.:glare: So, I guess I have no reason for something I do a couple times a week, even when I am so exhausted! It is just weird. I think if I had a daughter I would let her do what she wants, but I guess I would warn her that she may stick out a little, of course there are worse things. :)

[Melissa in FL]

That would be fine with me. Heck, I miss living up north because I didn't need to shave my legs all winter! We actually have several family members that don't shave. It's fine with me. I couldn't live with hairy pits, and would feel very self conscious in public with hairy legs. I think I would explain that others might make comments just so my dd could be prepared with answers and wouldn't be hurt by them. My idea is: as long as it's not permanently done to the body, it's fine. She would probably change her mind at some point (most likely when she found a cute guy she wanted to impress).

Melissa

[Storm Bay]

What if she found out some Europeans and even women in this country don't shave and decided that she didn't want to either? What if it were to make a statement or just because she didn't see why she should have to shave just because it's the culture? How would you handle this?

 

This is a hypothetical question btw.

 

I don't think I'd force her to. My mother used to tell my sister and I not to start shaving our legs unless we had to because once you start you have to keep going (the hair on our legs is blond.) Of course, that was in the hippy days. Honestly, as far as I'm aware, this custom in our society began with prostitutes (not that I'm against shaving, just pointing that out.) No one knew I didn't shave my legs until I'd been married 3 years and dh saw it when the light was just right, so I started for him. Not that he noticed until I pointed it out a few years later. But personally, I find underarm hair gross, even in men (my dh thinks I'm silly, but so be it.) Not that I'd make my dd shave if she refused to, but I wouldn't be able to look at it. My dd isn't at that stage yet.

[tiffanyl]

I'd be fine with it. I have friends that are in that boat, so my DD is fully aware of this topic.

So far she has decided against it.

 

tiffany

[readwithem]

Almost 16 year old dd just started shaving in the last couple of months, mostly due to the costumes she's had to wear for this year's productions. She never cared before and didn't mind when friends teased her. But for some reason, she recently decided that she'd shave her armpits. (she said the costumes were the reason) I don't think she's shaving her legs.

I don't care either way. After going through anorexia with her oldest sister, I have found that small issues really don't bother me.

 

:iagree: I love this. You're so right - it's not an issue is it? not at all. Hugs.

[readwithem]

my 16 yo dd doesn't want to shave her legs. Hey we did live in Australia and London for awhile so maybe she got the idea there :) She has been shaving her armpits for a few years, but again that was her choice and she was already taking care of the hygiene.

[Mom4Jesus]

I would probably try not to make a big deal out of it. There is something refreshing about seeing a teenager who doesn't just follow the pack.

[camibami]

I haven't shaved my arm pits in years, and I rarely shave my legs, so I would be surprised if they DO decide to shave. I am excited for us to move to Europe this summe,r so they can see someone besides their crazy old momma that goes "au natural".

 

I mean, if DH can sport the Alphalfa-in-a-headlock look, surely my 6 hairs per pit aren't going to gross someone out! And if they do, well...

 

:tongue_smilie:

[mcconnellboys]

Well, if she doesn't shave, she will experience the natural consequences of that inaction and I suppose she can then decide whether she likes the hair, or not.....