Allowing kids to play out front unsupervised?

[melissel]

The kids in question are 8 and 5 (which you may have assumed :D). DD8 is very mature and DD5 is appropriately mature and relatively safety-rule conscious for her age. We're in a "safe" neighborhood--not that that means much nowadays, but we don't have much in terms of traffic and noticeably questionable neighbors. Our front and side yards are large, so they can stay relatively far back from the sidewalk and street. However, I can't necessarily see or hear them unless I'm standing AT the front or side windows.

 

I really, REALLY need them to play outside, and they really REALLY have no interest in playing in the completely fenced backyard on most days.

 

How comfortable would you be with this scenario? How could I make it slightly safer (or really, make myself less paranoid)? I was thinking about maybe giving them safety whistles...is that insane?

 

TIA!

Edited October 11, 2010 by melissel
Oops, edited badly initially!

[indigomama]

My kids are 6 and 4 and I let them play out front as long as I leave the door open, and I know I'm not going to be doing anything too distracting.

I set up clear boundaries, they broke the rules once (I was watching at the window) and they lost the privilege for a few days, they learned their lesson fast:tongue_smilie:.

I am normally a little on the paranoid side but they get "bored" out back and I too need them to go outside and wear themselves out.

It's been good for all of us.

[littlebug42]

Personally, I would not allow it. My daughters, 9 and 7, are not allowed to play out front unsupervised. They do play out front at my MILs but only when an adult is in the front of the house. Her neighborhood is somewhat safer than ours though. They were not allowed to even do that until this year though.

[tajott]

I have NO problem with this.

 

My children knew to never wander off where they couldn't see our house. That's good enough for me...but I'm old and grew up being shoved out the door and told to come back at lunch time, 5:00 for dinner and when the streetlights came on.

[Gwenhwyfar]

doesn't sound like something i'd have a problem with based on the description. :)

[lamamaloca]

My 8, 6 and 4 year olds play out front without direct supervision (there are many windows facing out that way, though) on a regular basis. I won't let my 4 year old play out front alone, but she can play out there if her brothers are there.

[melissel]

My kids are 8 and 5. I don't allow it. I don't feel I live in a super safe neighborhood though.

 

WendyK, I'm wondering what makes you feel like your neighborhood isn't super safe? What's the variable? We don't have zippy traffic (or much at all, really, even though we're completely suburban and not far from major roads). My main concern is that, while the neighbors are very friendly, there's hardly anyone outside ever. There are only a few kids in the neighborhood, and they all go to school, so we hardly ever see them. Thus, there aren't lots of other parents constantly out and watching, KWIM? It's a very quiet neighborhood, which almost makes the decision harder!

[Sun]

I have no problem with it. On our street it's common for the kids to play out front alone from about age 5 up. We have very little traffic and know everybody on our street, so that helps everyone feel comfortable, I think. Plus, I feel more comfortable because it's the norm here.

[Guest TheBugsMom]

Nope, never, not my kids.

It isn't worth it. Even if there are more then one child outside, it does not make it safer. I don't even let my dd get the mail unless I walk down the drive with her and we live in a very safe neighborhood.

 

I don't even let my dd play in the back alone because we have a picket fence and live on the corner lot. She is allowed to play on the deck alone but if she wants to run and swing, I have to be outside. I might be over protective, but I rather her be confined with me and safe, then free and in possible danger.

[NorthwestMom]

I let my kids (ages 8 and 5) play in the front yard all the time. We live in average suburbia. I have taught them basic safety skills, and I keep myself in earshot inside the house.

 

People will flame me for my choice, but I believe giving kids freedom helps them grow in character, maturity, resilience, and independence.

[plain jane]

I let my kids outside in the front all the time. They do have to be outside with the 8 year old though. Of course, if you read my thread I just started, I have issues with some of mine being incredibly loud so I don't ever doubt that I would hear if something were to happen to one of them. :tongue_smilie::lol:

[MelanieM]

My older kids are almost 8 and 5.5 yrs. They play out front by themselves all the time. The key for me is that they know the rules, know they have to be where I can see them from the windows or front door, and I can trust them to stay within those guidelines.

[LibraryLover]

I would be ok with what you describe. I've always known my neighbors, and my kids know ours. The most important adult in my life as a child (beyond my gparents & parents) was a neighbor. She taught me to garden & can. Well, ok, she introduced me to all of that, so when I became an adult, I felt confident. :)

Edited October 12, 2010 by LibraryLover

[LibraryLover]

[DianeW88]

No problems whatsoever with that. There are NOT kidnappers lurking around every corner lying in wait to snatch children out of their front yards. Really, there are not. I just don't think it's healthy to smother kids and not allow them to develop any coping skills or the ability to do things WITHOUT their parents standing right there all the time. I am a "free-range" parent and proud of it. :D

 

Diane W.

married for 22 years

homeschooling 3 kiddos for 16 years

[K&Rs Mom]

I believe giving kids freedom helps them grow in character, maturity, resilience, and independence.

 

:iagree: That time outside entertaining themselves or each other leads to some great creativity and sometimes new skills. If I was hovering out there, that wouldn't happen, plus I'd never get anything else done.

 

I let my 8 & 5 dd's play in the yard all the time, and have for quite a while. We're on a fairly busy street, but they know that if they leave their boundaries they lose their outside privileges. I do look out the windows now & then, or stick my head out to listen if I can't see them (they're often up in a tree), but rarely do I have to put my shoes on & go out to check on them.

 

The more important question is: why wouldn't you, personally, let them play out front? If the answer to that is something likely, then don't let them; if it's just the vague "something might happen" then let them. "Something" might happen if you're standing right there in the yard, or if they're indoors, or if you're all driving somewhere together, or any other time/place.

Edited October 12, 2010 by K&Rs Mom
added paragraph

[snickelfritz]

My kids (7 and 5) do.

[Sophia]

My 4 and 5 y.o. boys do.

They don't wander away, and I can usually hear them (our neighbors don't call us the loud family for nothing.)

[In2why]

I let mine play out front all the time and they are 7 and 4. We live in a cul-de-sac (sp?) though so I don't worry about traffic too much. They are both allowed to ride their bikes on our street.

 

I am following a blog written by the author of Free Range kids and I agree with much of what she writes. Basically her premise is that our kids are actually safer today than we were, yet we believe based on the 24/7 news cycle that they are more likely to be or get hurt and tend to helicopter parent them.

 

In case anyone is interested

 

http://freerangekids.wordpress.com/

[rafiki]

.

[mcconnellboys]

No, I don't think it's insane.

 

I saw a little girl (all dressed up, too) skip by my window just as we finished school this afternoon. I didn't go to look more closely because I assumed she had a parent in tow somewhere.

 

Just a few minutes later, my son came in to tell me about a little girl (she looked pre-school age) who came up to talk to them at a house across the main boulevard of our neighborhood (pretty busy with traffic).

 

A retired police officer was working next door to them and took her to find her home. She didn't know her family name or exactly where she lived. She had asked her mother to visit a neighborhood friend and mom had said 'no'. She thought she was riding her bike outside, but instead she'd gone looking for that friend and gotten completely lost, crossing several streets alone along the way....

 

She lived a street down from me, so she had covered quite a bit of ground before she was returned to her mom....

[Old Dominion Heather]

I'd be fine with that.

 

My 8 and 5 yo are allowed to play in the yard and ride their bikes on the street down to about six houses away. They are supposed to tell me if they go into anyone's house or into any back yards.

 

You might want to see if your library has the Free-Range Kids (see the blog here), lots of statistics and data about playing outside vs. indoors and safety stats.

 

For me, I have weighed the relative risks and found them to be minimal compared to the risk of them growing up to being tv-addicted and pre-diabetic.

[IsabelC]

I allow my children aged 7, 5 and 2 to play pretty much anywhere they like outside. We live on a large block at the end of a quiet cul-de-sac on the edge of a small country town. The guidelines we have are:

 

 

• they have to tell me when they're going outside
  
• they have to wear their sunhats and long sleeved tops if it's between 9am and 5pm in summer or between 11am and 3pm in the shoulder seasons
  
• they are not allowed to play in certain areas (eg daddy's toolshed where there are power tools and toxic substances)
  
• they are not allowed to go off our property unless cleared by me or daddy
  

 

Also, the 2yo is not allowed to be outside by herself (she wouldn't go onto the road, but I'm not convinced she would remember what to do if she encountered a snake).

[DianeW88]

I'd be fine with that.

 

My 8 and 5 yo are allowed to play in the yard and ride their bikes on the street down to about six houses away. They are supposed to tell me if they go into anyone's house or into any back yards.

 

You might want to see if your library has the Free-Range Kids (see the blog here), lots of statistics and data about playing outside vs. indoors and safety stats.

 

For me, I have weighed the relative risks and found them to be minimal compared to the risk of them growing up to being tv-addicted and pre-diabetic.

 

:iagree: And, as far as stranger abductions (true kidnapping by a non-family member, where the child is taken away against their will, with the intent to ransom, harm, or in otherwise keep the child), the latest data available (from the US Dept. of Justice) states that approximately 115 stranger abductions occur each year in the US. Of those, the majority are teens over age 15 (59%). Only 7% of abductions happen in the 0-5 age group and in the 6-11 age group, the percentage is 12. Based on the population of children in the USA, the odds of your child being abducted out of your yard by a stranger is too small to be calculated statistically. The odds of your child being abducted by a stranger ANYWHERE is .0000016. The odds of your child being injured inside your home is much, much greater.

 

Diane W.

married for 22 years

homeschooling 3 kiddos for 16 years

[Susan in TN]

My 7yo, 5yo, and 4yo play out in our front yard all the time. We're in a cul-de-sac with very little traffic. We have lots of windows (and front door) to look out and check on them. Plus, they're loud, so I can almost always HEAR them. :)

[FO4UR]

I stay close to the windows if my dc are outside. My back yard isn't any safer than the front...I think the huge dogs in our neighborhood are a bigger threat to small children than pedophiles. We only have fencing on one side of our yard...and I think the huge dogs behind it could easily jump it if provoked. (This area has had a crazy number of dog attacks...and we've seen more stray dogs in this town than I've ever seen in my life.:glare:)

 

They have guidelines on where they can go, and I do my best to teach them to stay safe. Sheltering them completely doesn't teach them how to take care of themselves...and yet as parents we have to make decisions on how much responsibility they can handle. It's going to be different for different kids and for different families in different neighborhoods. I can imagine living places where my dc wouldn't play in our yard at all...and I can imagine living in places where I would feel comfy letting my dc run wild outside most of the day. Personally, my 7yo has tons more freedom than the other 2dc b/c he has shown us he's just more mature.

 

Our home before this one, my dc were never out by themselves b/c #1 they were younger and #2 lots and lots of people passed by our home. I just spent lots of time outside reading (while the kids played) while my kitchen remained a mess...it wasn't a bad deal.:tongue_smilie:

[justamouse]

I do it every day. What Old Dominion Heather said. And, I have a friend who is on the ...cripes, brain fart, I had the name there for a second...Homeland security--there it is!! Phew, it came back. Anywho, he said the US is safer now that it was in the 60s.

[FO4UR]

:iagree: And, as far as stranger abductions (true kidnapping by a non-family member, where the child is taken away against their will, with the intent to ransom, harm, or in otherwise keep the child), the latest data available (from the US Dept. of Justice) states that approximately 115 stranger abductions occur each year in the US. Of those, the majority are teens over age 15 (59%). Only 7% of abductions happen in the 0-5 age group and in the 6-11 age group, the percentage is 12. Based on the population of children in the USA, the odds of your child being abducted out of your yard by a stranger is too small to be calculated statistically. The odds of your child being abducted by a stranger ANYWHERE is .0000016. The odds of your child being injured inside your home is much, much greater.

 

Diane W.

married for 22 years

homeschooling 3 kiddos for 16 years

 

 

I don't worry about abductions as much as I worry about a car backing out of a driveway, not seeing a child riding his trike on the sidewalk...or big kids thinking it's funny to pick on little kids (this can get extreme fast)...or *my* dc getting themselves up a tree or in a hole and not able to get themselves back out:lol:...

Edited October 12, 2010 by 3blessingmom
there is a difference between "whole" and "hole"...I shouldn't post past 9pm LOL

[guateangel]

Any given day (after 4pm) there's an average of 15 kids on our street out playing. This is the first year I've allowed my 7.5 yr. old dd to play out front without supervision. I'm an extremely paranoid parent and have talked her up and down about every threatening scenario possible...drive ups asking to help them find a puppy, offering candy, posing as a friend/relative, etc. She knows she's not allowed to go into friends' houses if I do not know their parents. She knows she is to ask permission before going outside the boundaries we've set. If she breaks one rule, she knows there will be consequences (so far, she's done great.) I was almost kidnapped as a child 2 times and have spoke to dd many times about this. Educate, educate, educate and make sure your rules are understood! We have so many kids who run wild in our neighborhood that we had to inforce many rules.

[DaffodilDreams]

Dd will turn 7 in two weeks, and I just started letting her do this about 2 weeks ago. I was nervous about it at first, but she has done fine with following my expectations. I definitely prefer it when she and the neighbor kids play in our backyard, but so far the front has worked out, too. Now, though, she would like us to let her walk 6 houses down to play other kids in the neighborhood, and I'm not yet comfortable with that. Oh, I should mention that she does not play in the front yard alone, though. That would definitely bother me.

[jentancalann]

Yep, mine do every day. 12, 9, 6, and 3 yo. They aren't always together, they usually pair off w/ other friends in the neighborhood. The 3 yo doesn't usually play outside by himself, but he does go outside for very short amounts of time during the day by himself. We are in a neighborhood, on a culdesac street so there isn't much traffic. We're just not huge worrier's over here.

[Ravin]

I'd be fine with them playing out front. My DD (now 7) has for about a year (since she learned to ride her bike) had free reign to go anywhere in our neighborhood (a pocket neighborhood of 3 streets running crosswise between 2 that has only 2 outlets, both onto the same main road), as long as she doesn't go to the main road and lets me know where she'll be (the exact house if going into a friend's house). At 5 she was allowed at first in the front yard, then across the street once she got to know some other kids.

[milovany]

Haven't read other replies, but from your description, I would say throw the door open and shoo them out. Tell them to come back in when they need a drink of water or a snack. :001_smile:

[DianeW88]

I don't worry about abductions as much as I worry about a car backing out of a driveway, not seeing a child riding his trike on the sidewalk...or big kids thinking it's funny to pick on little kids (this can get extreme fast)...or *my* dc getting themselves up a tree or in a hole and not able to get themselves back out:lol:...

 

Yep, that's a whole different set of worries, and completely understandable. My 9 yo had to get stitches this summer for climbing over a chain link fence and catching the top links with his shin. :glare: I was only hoping to reassure parents who are worried about the almost non-existent threat of child abduction by strangers.

 

Diane W.

[Trish]

You can always check that link to see how many sex offenders are in your zip code. Most neighborhoods are safe, I would think, but you never know.

[Ravin]

Sex offender lists are of limited usefulness. Many, many things that can land someone on them have nothing to do with children.

[lionfamily1999]

Sex offender lists are of limited usefulness. Many, many things that can land someone on them have nothing to do with children.

Yes, but people convicted of hurting children are also on that list and that makes it quite useful.

[EJCMom]

I would be fine with that. My older kids play outside in the front without someone out there. They are 6 and 5 at the end of the month. The yard is fenced, and they are not allowed out of the gate without permission. I've had several opportunities to test whether they would follow that rule, and they always have. I always leave the door open so that I can hear them at all times, and I check on them frequently.

[FairProspects]

I don't worry about abductions as much as I worry about a car backing out of a driveway, not seeing a child riding his trike on the sidewalk...or big kids thinking it's funny to pick on little kids (this can get extreme fast)...or *my* dc getting themselves up a tree or in a hole and not able to get themselves back out:lol:...

 

Yup, this. We are in a big neighborhood with more than 500 houses and at least 50 on our street alone. Lots of cars zip by, and the whole concept just makes me nervous. We've also had child lurings in our neighborhood in the past. Not this year, but in recent memory.

[sassyscrapperinid]

I dont mind being called over protective and there is no way I would let my little ones out front without me, my husband, or an much older sibling out with them. My kids have plenty of other opportunities to gain experience without that much risk being involved. Its just not worth it to me. Just my 2 cents though.

 

~Stella

[GWOB]

I let my kids play in the front unsupervised all the time. BUT, we are the only house on our 3-mile-long "road" (read: minimum maintenance dirt country road). I can count on one hand the cars that pass by in a day. Combines are a different story;). I do have some reservations about letting them out during hunting season, as we have many strange cars passing by, otherwise I am fine. I know all the people who farm the land around us, so I'm good.

 

I was a little leary about letting the 3yo out with her older sibs, but they mostly play on the trampoline (death trap, I know;)) or in the sand patch. Sometimes they hang out with the chickens, in which case I have to worry about our jerk roosters.

 

In your ccase, living in civilization with neighbors I knew, I would still be ok. A kid's job is to play. Theey need unstructured down time. Realistically, they won't be abducted, run over by a car, or fall into some random well. Maybe I am somewhat less diligent than I should be since I've always been "blessed" with nosey neighbors.

[iona]

my kids are younger, but i struggle with the paranoia and helicopter parenting(mainly about traffic and my starry eyed meandering children)

[Halcyon]

We live in a gated community, but the gate is, well...insubstantial...I let my kids play outside, and even bike around the nrby tennis court, but they're not allpwed to cross the street. I have them carry walkie talkies and check in every 15 min or so.

[NanceXToo]

Up until my daughter turned 8, she was only ever allowed to play in the backyard.

 

At 8, she started being allowed to play "out front" (which, here, means on the sidewalk in front of the houses as we don't have front yards), but only within a range of like 5 or 6 houses, and only with her neighborhood friends or cousins. She was not allowed out front alone at all.

 

At 9, she started being allowed to go the whole length of our block and back (it's not a very long block and a relatively quiet one way street) but could not leave our block or go off the sidewalk into the street.

 

I would periodically get up and go on the porch and look out to see where she was and make sure everything was ok.

 

At 10, we're just now starting to very gradually give her a little more freedom (which will probably go into effect more in the spring when she's like 10 1/2) and we'll start letting her go "around the block" with her friends or to the park around the corner (part of which we can see from our kitchen window, although from a distance). We've done that a small handful of times already in the past couple of months (she turned 10 this month). Again, only with a group, and after a good amount of conversation about various safety issues.

 

My son is going to turn 5 next month and so far he is still not allowed 'out front' without an adult out there with him. Although I do let his sister take him directly into one of the neighbor kid's backyards and keep an eye on him there.

 

I'm not sure at what point I'll feel comfortable with him "out front" without me out there, too. I'm sure it will be earlier than it was for her, since he'll have her (an older kid) with him, whereas she didn't have that. I'll re-evaluate it when the warm weather comes again and all the kids are playing out front a lot more.

[G5052]

We've always said that a parent needs to be outside if they're in the front. Even with limited traffic and virtually zero crime, we felt like that was best. We have plenty of outside work, so this isn't a big deal.

 

And several years ago there was indeed an incident. Thankfully the child involved handled it well and the perpetrator fled upon seeing the adult that was out.

 

The state policeman that came to investigate afterward said that even as rare as it is for something like that to happen, he'd never forgive himself if it did so they have the same policy at his house. An adult must be in the yard if his kids are in the front.

 

YMMV...

[Laurie4b]

Absolutely no problem with this.

[Soror]

WE do here as well, we live somewhat in the country. There are not a lot of other houses close by, none that can be seen from the front door. My 6.5 and 3.5 play with each other. Of course when the oldest was the only it was different as he didn't listen well. However, he is very responsible now and they play out together. Sometimes she is out on the deck by herself while we school but that is directly behind the dining room w/ french doors. I don't worry about kidnapping and such, child molesters would have to drive to get here in which case the car would be easily noticed. The only worry would be going in the road, even though it is pretty empty. However, they haven't broke that rule.

[Jennifer in MI]

My older kids (14, 12, and 10) are allowed out front and even allowed to ride their bikes to various places around town - bookstore, hardware store, ice cream shop, parks, library etc. They have a cell phone (they share one) and know what to do in an emergency. And, we live in a very safe area.

 

My 4 yo is allowed out front if she's out there with an older brother. Not alone yet. She'd follow anyone with a puppy anywhere! LOL And, I don't mean that the person walking the puppy would be trying to lure her anywhere, my dd would just follow them! I don't know when she'll be allowed out front alone.

[gingersmom]

:iagree: And, as far as stranger abductions (true kidnapping by a non-family member, where the child is taken away against their will, with the intent to ransom, harm, or in otherwise keep the child), the latest data available (from the US Dept. of Justice) states that approximately 115 stranger abductions occur each year in the US. Of those, the majority are teens over age 15 (59%). Only 7% of abductions happen in the 0-5 age group and in the 6-11 age group, the percentage is 12. Based on the population of children in the USA, the odds of your child being abducted out of your yard by a stranger is too small to be calculated statistically. The odds of your child being abducted by a stranger ANYWHERE is .0000016. The odds of your child being injured inside your home is much, much greater.

 

 

My kids were not allowed to play in front of the house without me watching. For one thing the backyard is much more interesting. And if they were out front I sat on the front steps with my knitting and a cup of coffee and watched them.

 

I don't want to take the chance of my child being in that very small statistic. When I saw your post I immediately thought of the case of Samantha Runnion (snatched from in front of her house).

[susankenny]

I wouldn't have a problem with it. My kids play outside, but they know to stay between our house and my MIL's home. I can see them out the windows with no issues. We also have a fenced in backyard that they enjoy, but they can ride their scooters on the sidewalk out front.

 

Susan