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I'm kind of in shock right now.

mazakaal
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mazakaal

mazakaal

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My mom called this morning to tell me that my dad passed away in the night. I just can't believe it. He was 78 years old, so I knew it was a possibility, but he's very healthy. I spoke with him yesterday and he was fine. My mom said that he went to bed last night feeling fine. When she woke in the night, she realised that he was gone.

 

It's times like these that I hate being so far away. Mom's in North Carolina, I'm in England. I can't let people in real life know yet because my brother is in California and so it's the middle of the night there. I told my mom that I'd get over there right away, but I've got a terrible cold right now and she said that she'd rather that I not fly right now, but wait a week and come over with my kids so I can stay for a few weeks. I was planning a trip with the kids at the end of the summer so this will take the place of that which is really depressing when you start to think about all the plans that we had to do things and now even if we do the same things they won't be the same because dad won't be there.

 

I just can't believe it. I've never had a loss of someone this close. I lost my grandparents and have been through miscarriages, but this is different. I was around lots of family when my grandparents passed, and, though mourning an unborn child is difficult, this is just very different. I guess that it doesn't help that anyone that knew him is in America and asleep right now, so I can't talk to anyone in real life. I have friends here, and one is coming over later, but I just really want family now.

 

I don't even know why I'm writing this. I'm not looking for advice really. I guess I just needed to send it 'out there'. Virtual hugs would be appreciated. Thanks for 'listening'.

 

eta: Thank you all so much for the hugs, prayers, and well-wishes. I've spoken with my brother. He's flying over on Monday for a week. A friend will spend the weekend with Mom until he arrives. I'm trying to get a flight for Wednesday and will stay for a month. The kids will enjoy experiencing Fourth of July in America. We're still supposed to be homeschooling until July 21 (we follow the British school schedule). I'm bringing math with us so the kids can keep up with that, and I'll bring some history books to read, but it looks like the kids will only get a brief overview of the second half of the nineteenth century of American history, no writing assignments, no projects. They'll live, right? Everything else we'll finish up over the summer or push off until September. My oldest will have to stay here with my husband because I can't have him miss so much school and he doesn't want to fly back by himself after a week. I just hope they don't die of malnutrition. This will be a great opportunity for dh to expand his cooking repertoire beyond pasta and eggs. ;-)

 

Thanks again for all the posts. I'm feeling a lot better now, aside from the fact that it's 4:53am. I'm sure sleeplessness is part of the grieving process or something. Thanks again.

Edited by MeganP
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novagirl

novagirl

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Oh man, here I am sitting at home cryin' for ya! I am sorry to hear of your loss, especially the way it came. I am glad you did get to talk to him yesterday. I will pray for peace and comfort for your family today okay?:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

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mazakaal

mazakaal

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Thank you to everyone for the hugs, prayers, and encouragement. And thank you, Oak Knoll Mom. Mom has lots of good friends around her, but if I can think of anything, I will let you know. Where are you? They're in Tryon.

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kalanamak

kalanamak

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I told my mom that I'd get over there right away, but I've got a terrible cold right now and she said that she'd rather that I not fly right now, but wait a week and come over with my kids so I can stay for a few weeks.

 

:grouphug::grouphug: How lucky you are to have capable mom who can tell you such things. When my father died, we kids "staggered" our visits, particularly telling one brother to go a little later and roll up his sleeves to help her (she was 88).

 

When my aunt died similarly, my father brightened up. He was so happy it was like that. I know sudden deaths are hardest on those left behind, but I would comfort yourself in knowing he went without suffering, without the indignity of dementia and debility, in his own home, and not in the care of strangers. We should all be so lucky.

 

:grouphug::grouphug:

 

"I'll be seeing you in every lovely summer's day,

In everything that's bright and gay,

I'll always think of you that way.

I'll find you in the morning sun

And when the night is new,

I'll be looking at the moon,

But I'll be seeing you."

 

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m4given

m4given

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My mom called this morning to tell me that my dad passed away in the night.

Virtual hugs would be appreciated. Thanks for 'listening'.

Here's a :grouphug: -- wish it could be a live hug. How difficult. I read every word you wrote. I'm so sorry you're going through this.

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