Is laughter a necessary component of being in love?

[cathmom]

What do you think? Can a couple be in love and not laugh together? Maybe if they are both serious people?

 

I was thinking about this today because my husband really makes me laugh. Once he cracked a joke to a lady at work and she didn't laugh. He told her, "If my wife were here, she would have laughed at that." She leaned toward him and told him, "Stay with her!" :lol:

[secular_mom]

I have no idea. I can't imagine it, unless it was a Twilight type of teen angst filled relationship where EVERYthing is dramatic. LOL

[Mejane]

What do you think? Can a couple be in love and not laugh together?

 

 

I think so. My husband's sense of humor runs more to banana-peel slipping (think Caddyshack), while mine is a bit darker and more cerebral (think Cohen brothers.) We do laugh together at the crazy stuff that happens in our life.

[specialmama]

No, it's not "necessary", but it's a great ingredient! My dh doesn't have a great sense of humour. He can whip out the occassional one-liner that has me roaring, but usually his sense of humour is dry and I'm... well... I'm a cracker jack. :tongue_smilie: I like to joke around a lot and laugh a lot and generally I find I'm laughing alone while he just blinks at me and shakes his head. But am I in love with my hubby? Absolutely. And he's in love with me too. :001_smile: He said on our wedding day that he loved me because I'm "not your run-of-mill kind of gal" so he knew what he was signing up for, as did I.

[Dayle in Guatemala]

It is for me.

[Jean in Newcastle]

My husband told me that he married me because I make him laugh:lol:

[Daisy]

What do you think? Can a couple be in love and not laugh together? Maybe if they are both serious people?

 

I was thinking about this today because my husband really makes me laugh. Once he cracked a joke to a lady at work and she didn't laugh. He told her, "If my wife were here, she would have laughed at that." She leaned toward him and told him, "Stay with her!" :lol:

 

LOL. I don't know, but that comment was hilarious.

 

My hubby makes me laugh a lot, but sometimes not even I get his jokes. :D

[Firefly]

For me personally, yes it is. I can't imagine being with someone who didn't make me laugh (and vice versa!)

[Pretty in Pink]

My husband and I laugh together all the time. It's one of the reasons I fell in love with him. I can't imagine not having that!

[Cedarmom]

I guess if your both serious it could work. My husband and I laugh a bunch. Sometimes when everything isgoing wrong and life is stressfull- we find more things to laugh about.It is our way oof letting each other know life is good.

[6packofun]

I think it's necessary to many people, but not all. I am one of them. If my dh had never made me laugh while we were friends, we wouldn't have even gotten to the dating stage. :) And sometimes I think laughter is the only thing keeping me married to him. LOL! ;)

[mom4him]

Once he cracked a joke to a lady at work and she didn't laugh. He told her, "If my wife were here, she would have laughed at that." She leaned toward him and told him, "Stay with her!" :lol:

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

[Prudent]

I love my husband dearly and he never makes me laugh. He's a very serious guy.

[Nicole M]

My husband's sense of humor is very quirky and... odd. There, I said it. Usually we find his jokes annoying, but once he said something that we genuinely did find funny. We were shocked and silent a moment, and then my son, who was about 11 at the time and working on percentages in math, said, "Dad! That was like... 40% funnier than your usual jokes!"

 

I think being comfortable enough with each other to let it all loose is a pretty important component, and laughter is probably a result of comfort.

[Wheres Toto]

It is for me.

:iagree:My husband says he married me because I laugh at his totally warped, bizarre sense of humor.

[sparrow]

It is for me.

 

:iagree: Yup. What she said. I LOVE to laugh :lol: and I love seeing dh laugh :lol:.

[dirty ethel rackham]

I don't think it is necessary. I wouldn't say dh and I laugh a lot. Even when we were dating, I don't remember lots of laughter - smiles, YES, tons. We have some good discussions, some funny moments, but the glue that sticks us together is mutual respect, common goals, loving who I am when I am with him, loving who he is either with me, with others, and especially with the kids. Neither dh nor I are uber serious people. But neither of us need to be the center of attention either.

 

I do remember "being in love" with someone who made me laugh, but it was a shallow relationship. It was going nowhere.

[nmoira]

I have no idea. I can't imagine it, unless it was a Twilight type of teen angst filled relationship where EVERYthing is dramatic. LOL

:lol:

 

I can't imagine life without laughter, much less love. However, I also can't imagine life without cats, so you may wish to take my thoughts with a grain of salt.

[swimmermom3]

Funny you should ask this question today of all days; it is our 21st anniversary.:D Before he left for work this morning, my husband brought in a small teacup full of miniature roses from our garden, my must-have cup of coffee and a card:

 

"Happy Anniversary from the one who wears the pants in the family...to the one who tells him which pants to wear in the first place."

 

For me, humor is a necessity. It's how we have gotten through the hard times and the good times. The man delights in making me laugh and for that I am grateful. A few weeks ago at dinner, my dh said something that had all of the kids rolling their eyes and chanting, "Lame, Dad! Really lame!" As usual, I am snorting away at the end of the table with tears in my eyes. My youngest looked at me and looked at his father and said, "Geesh Dad! I think you just married Mom because she's easy.":001_huh: At this point, the teens are thrashing around on the floor howling and my husband just sat there grinning. The Dude had no clue about what he said and left the table muttering about inferior genetics.

[Nicole M]

My youngest looked at me and looked at his father and said, "Geesh Dad! I think you just married Mom because she's easy.":001_huh: At this point, the teens are thrashing around on the floor howling and my husband just sat there grinning. The Dude had no clue about what he said and left the table muttering about inferior genetics.

 

OMGosh. I love your family!

 

Happy anniversary!

Edited May 26, 2010 by Nicole M

[nmoira]

 

Funny you should ask this question today of all days; it is our 21st anniversary.:D

Happy Anniversary. :party: And thanks for the laugh. :D

[swimmermom3]

I don't think it is necessary. I wouldn't say dh and I laugh a lot. Even when we were dating, I don't remember lots of laughter - smiles, YES, tons. We have some good discussions, some funny moments, but the glue that sticks us together is mutual respect, common goals, loving who I am when I am with him, loving who he is either with me, with others, and especially with the kids. Neither dh nor I are uber serious people. But neither of us need to be the center of attention either.

 

I do remember "being in love" with someone who made me laugh, but it was a shallow relationship. It was going nowhere.

 

Ellen, that's an interesting distinction. My father and BILs are "entertainers" used to being the center of attention. They are good men, but not necessarily easy to live with. My husband is different in that his is a very quiet sense of humor and is usually only exercised within our family or with those that know him well.

 

I think what we'll find on this thread is that while in a general overall sense laughter may not be necessary for a good marriage, there are some of us who would not be good partners in a marriage without it. I'm not sure it would be a good thing if I were married to a serious man who seldom laughed. I can be incredibly intense and often it's good that someone gets the train to switch tracks before there is a catastrophic collision.:tongue_smilie:

 

Perhaps "laughter" in this case represents at a larger level the comfort Nicole mentioned and the joy of being in the presence of someone who is truly our soulmate.

[Carrie12345]

I don't think I'd make that generalization, but I do know it's very important in MY marriage.

 

Dh and I both get caught up in our own little worlds now and then. When he's working long hours and I'm exhausted from the kids/house/etc, there's little laughter going on, and we can feel the disconnect.

 

When we're on top of our game, cracking each other up, it's like a tangible change in the atmosphere. And inevitably leads to more teA. :tongue_smilie:

So, yeah, it definitely does something to *our brain chemistry!

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

I think so. My husband's sense of humor runs more to banana-peel slipping (think Caddyshack), while mine is a bit darker and more cerebral (think Cohen brothers.) We do laugh together at the crazy stuff that happens in our life.

 

:lol::iagree:

 

Dh thinks potty humor is funny, and I personally don't. I love the Cohen brothers, btw. Dh always says I have no sense of humor, but I inform him that my sense of humor is sophisticated and well developed.

 

We both thought Little Miss Sunshine was funny, though. There are some things that we both get a laugh from!

[swimmermom3]

OMGosh. I love your family!

 

Happy anniversary!

 

Happy Anniversary. :party: And thanks for the laugh. :D

 

Thank you! And my thanks to the op for a chance for reflection. Now I had better take myself off of here and think of something really great to serve for dinner. The poor man deserves something better than burritos.

[lynn]

I think it definately helps. I have friends who don't get my dh's sense of humor, but I do. he has me laughing a lot. We also have many inside jokes that are between us. We've learn to have a sense of humor when it comes to our kids and laugh at the things they do or say. He's taught me not to take myself to seriously.

[HRAAB]

For me, it's important. The first thing that attracted me to dh was his smile, laugh and sense of humor, and I'm still attracted to it. Other couples could be very different though.

[jenniferlee]

Have you read "Anne of the Island" - third in anne of green gables series? This is exactly the issue she faces when she realizes that she doesn't love what's his name, but really loves Gilbert.

Such a great moment.

 

Jen

[Desert Rat]

The only way we've made through the last year is laughter. Really. It's been so hard that sometimes we just have to laugh to keep from crying. I'm so grateful we can support each other through laughter. I think it's what made our relationship, not only fun, but rock solid.

[HerdingCats]

Laughter is an important part of getting through life together in my opinion. My dh and I laugh together a lot. That said, it's like a running joke between us that I am immune to his jokes. He has that personality that tries to be funny and entertaining and often I've heard it before. We have met new people who have that same sense of humor (I think they're all from Jersey) and they can't believe I'm not laughing myself silly all day. He tells them I'm immune now :-)

[PinkInTheBlue]

"Necessary"? I don't know if I would have to call it necessary but it's one of the things that appeals to me about my relationship. I wouldn't say a couple couldn't be happy without it but I wouldn't. It's vital to me.

[PinkInTheBlue]

A few weeks ago at dinner, my dh said something that had all of the kids rolling their eyes and chanting, "Lame, Dad! Really lame!" As usual, I am snorting away at the end of the table with tears in my eyes. My youngest looked at me and looked at his father and said, "Geesh Dad! I think you just married Mom because she's easy.":001_huh: At this point, the teens are thrashing around on the floor howling and my husband just sat there grinning. The Dude had no clue about what he said and left the table muttering about inferior genetics.

 

That is really and truly hilarious!! I love stuff like that :) That's great. Be sure to remember it and let him know later when he gets older. ;)

[*********]

:lol:

 

I can't imagine life without laughter, much less love. However, I also can't imagine life without cats, so you may wish to take my thoughts with a grain of salt.

 

Now THAT made me laugh. :D

[LisaC]

I have been married seventeen years, and I know my marriage would not have lasted this long if my husband and I could not laugh together. Our taste in comedy is not always the same, but we are able to laugh together throughthe difficulties of life--priceless

[Jean in Newcastle]

Our first year of marriage was really, really tough. The second year of marriage we started to learn to not take ourselves so seriously. It was a marriage saver. And yes, some of it is attitude but a lot of it is just learning to physically laugh.

[angela in ohio]

What do you think? Can a couple be in love and not laugh together? Maybe if they are both serious people?

 

I suppose it could happen, but I wouldn't be able to love someone if we couldn't laugh together. Laughing is what gets dh and I through all that life throws at us. :001_smile:

[SproutMamaK]

We certainly need it, but I imagine there must be SOMEONE out there that might not.

 

Not anyone I know, though. ;)

[Veritaserum]

I wouldn't want to know. I love laughing with my dh. :)

[texasmama]

Laughter is an integral part of my marriage. We are both silly, sarcastic, joking kind of people so that is a strength of our relationship. It has helped us through some hard times together.

[elizabeth]

I do not know but for me making me laugh is the best way to make my interest very, very focused.

[Peela]

I would say I am with dh because he made and makes me laugh, for sure. He has the whackiest, grossest, wildest sense of humour.

He reckons it took me a good few years to learn to laugh at myself though :) and he is glad I finally can. I was pretty serious there in my younger days.

He loves it when I reallybelly laugh, and he feels he is really successfull when I do. He calls it my cackle and it really makes him happy when I cackle.

Laughter is definitely one of the glues of our marriage. I object to the term "in love" but I think laughter and a sense of humour is definitely one aspect of real love. And, it is definitely a shortcut fastrack path to your heart.

[Corraleno]

DH's sense of humor was a big part of what attracted me to him — he's truly one of the smartest, funniest people I've ever met. He has an incredibly quick wit, and a very British sense of humor; he can say things with a totally straight face that will have me doubled over with laughter. He *loves* to crack me up in situations where I should. not. laugh. Like when his mother spends an hour on the phone regaling me with all her social and medical problems, while DH maintains a running commentary in the background in an assortment of British accents, forcing me to disguise any unrepressed snorts & giggles with coughs and pot rattling. I also have two very funny kids, and a very entertaining dog, so we laugh a LOT in this house!

 

Jackie

[Corraleno]

A few weeks ago at dinner, my dh said something that had all of the kids rolling their eyes and chanting, "Lame, Dad! Really lame!" As usual, I am snorting away at the end of the table with tears in my eyes. My youngest looked at me and looked at his father and said, "Geesh Dad! I think you just married Mom because she's easy.":001_huh: At this point, the teens are thrashing around on the floor howling and my husband just sat there grinning. The Dude had no clue about what he said and left the table muttering about inferior genetics.

:lol: I think Swimmerdude needs a blog. And an official fan club — so I can join it.

 

 

Oh, and Happy Anniversary! :cheers2:

Jackie

[funschooler5]

DH's sense of humor is the number one reason I married him. I can't imagine living with someone who didn't make me laugh. We have the same sarcastic sense of humor. (Also, we love Cohen brothers movies and Caddyshack.) :lol:

[bry's-gal]

Hubby and I are both serious people- we don't laugh much and never really have. We enjoy our time together and enjoy each other's company-we just aren't people who laugh alot. We both need to lighten up more and we are getting better!

We do tend to laugh at the same things!

 

I really related to the lady who posted she was in a relationship with someone who made her laugh all the time and it was shallow- been there, done that!

[susankenny]

I have no idea. I can't imagine it, unless it was a Twilight type of teen angst filled relationship where EVERYthing is dramatic. LOL

 

That made me laugh!

 

To the OP, in my marriage, laughter sure gets us through a lot. :)

[Jean in Newcastle]

I just wanted to post that in our marriage, the laughter can range from deep belly-laughs to just a light-heartedness to even gallows humors during some particularly hard times. It's a way for us to be relaxed individually and with each other.

[angela in ohio]

to even gallows humors during some particularly hard times.

 

Oddly enough, that is what I couldn't live without. :001_smile: I'd give up the day-to-day fun and laughter, but I couldn't be with someone who couldn't laugh in the face of adversity.

[sagira]

Dh and I don't have the same sense of humor, and we don't laugh often. However, it's so nice when we do laugh together. I wouldn't say it's a prerequisite, but it's certainly wonderful.

[justamouse]

I don't know if you NEED it, but I know I wouldn't live without it. My Dh cracks me up daily, and he's a totally serious guy. But with me and the kids, he's hysterical. We make eachother laugh, and it sure is grease for when the going gets tough.