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FYI - Custody update

Joanne
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Joanne

Joanne

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The forensic Dr. of Psychology does not think my son should move and live with his Dad. He does want me to consider public school because going to public school is a significant percentage of the reasons Andrew wanted to move and because he feels it's age-expected for him to wonder and want to go.

 

He did not say, however, that if I want to continue to homeschool, he'd recommend my son move. He'd want to talk with me.

 

Other interesting issues:

 

1) I tested well on the tests. Only one elevation, and it was expected to be elevated due to the situation.

 

2) XH had several elevations.

 

3) There was no evidence of neglect, abuse, or concern for my home.

 

4) The family visit for my home was "real". The family visit for the other home was "stiff" and a monologue.

 

5) The Dr. does not believe that xh would step up to the plate in terms of engaged parenting and does not buy his geographic reasons. (Since he chose to live far).

 

6) He is worried about my schedule and if Andrew is in public school, how much time I'd get with him. Yea, this is the schedule made necessary buy the xh.

 

7) Any moments of concern in my home the Dr. saw was an anomoly, not my norm.

 

8) The Dr. is concerned with how much conversation goes on in the other home about my home - it's not appropriate.

 

There's more......but that's enough to post. We are hoping for a settlement offer.

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Scarlett

Scarlett

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:party:

 

So proud of you for sticking it out. Many women would have given up by now on a child that old and let him go live where he wanted---heartbreaking tho it may be. You are my inspiration for my belief that if I ever lose my ds10 to his sorry father my son son will AT THE LEAST know I fought for him in every way possible.

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ConnieB

ConnieB

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because he feels it's age-expected for him to wonder and want to go.

 

.

 

Congrats!

 

As far as the above quote....well, yeah, it's age appropriate to wonder about a lot of things at that age, but doesn't mean those things are good for the kid!

 

Time to figure out how to make both of you happy.....in other words, what specifically is your son wondering about public school and what can you do to make his homeschool experience include those elements. Not always possible, of course, but I still remember my 6 year old begging to go to public school everyday for weeks, to the point I was in tears, because I couldn't imagine why she seemed to hate homeschool but only first thing in the morning...she was fine once we got going and doing things. Turned out, she could see the school bus stop and pick up the neighbor girl each morning and wanted to ride a bus! So...we went on a city bus to the library one day...and she hated it, smelly, sticky seats, lurching ride, and took forever. No more desire for public school.

 

I'm not saying that your son's needs are quite as easy to resolve, but if you (and/or the Dr.) can narrow down what they are, it may have a similiar solution. If it's a specific class or subject, maybe finding a co-op....if it's friends, then find a support group with kids his age to bond with....if it's getting away from mom then time to work on the relationship....if it's challenge, time for some upper level course work...whatever. There is so little that can't be done at home in a more positive atmosphere than at school. Often I think homeschool teens have "the grass is always greener" syndrome.

 

Good luck to you! This was a very good beginning.

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Joanne

Joanne

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Congrats!

 

As far as the above quote....well, yeah, it's age appropriate to wonder about a lot of things at that age, but doesn't mean those things are good for the kid!

 

Time to figure out how to make both of you happy.....in other words, what specifically is your son wondering about public school and what can you do to make his homeschool experience include those elements. Not always possible, of course, but I still remember my 6 year old begging to go to public school everyday for weeks, to the point I was in tears, because I couldn't imagine why she seemed to hate homeschool but only first thing in the morning...she was fine once we got going and doing things. Turned out, she could see the school bus stop and pick up the neighbor girl each morning and wanted to ride a bus! So...we went on a city bus to the library one day...and she hated it, smelly, sticky seats, lurching ride, and took forever. No more desire for public school.

 

I'm not saying that your son's needs are quite as easy to resolve, but if you (and/or the Dr.) can narrow down what they are, it may have a similiar solution. If it's a specific class or subject, maybe finding a co-op....if it's friends, then find a support group with kids his age to bond with....if it's getting away from mom then time to work on the relationship....if it's challenge, time for some upper level course work...whatever. There is so little that can't be done at home in a more positive atmosphere than at school. Often I think homeschool teens have "the grass is always greener" syndrome.

 

Good luck to you! This was a very good beginning.

 

Great post! I agree with you. Andrew has been taking outsourced classes the last 2 years - math last year and science this year.

 

Honestly, he's feeling mixed/both. He wants to try public school and he doesn't. The problem is that his Dad capitilizes on the "wants to go" part and Andrew magnifies that for his Dad and the Dr.

 

I had actually had an arrangement with Andrew this year that if he showed me in his outside class he will follow through, plan and get the grades appropriate for his intelligene, I'd *consider* public school. He agreed and said it was a fair arrangement.

 

He dropped the ball.

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