Friend has 4 year old boy that constantly is grabbing himself.....

[Prairie~Phlox]

I know he is uncircumcised, is this normal, or is it just due to bad hygiene? or something else? I see her twice a week (Wednesday evening Bible Study and Sunday Church) and this is pretty consistent and happens all the time.

 

I'm talking constantly itching like every few minutes.

[Sputterduck]

Mine does this a lot, but not quite as bad as that. It's a nervous habit for him. He won't do it all day and then we'll be talking to someone new and suddenly he won't stop it. Then I spend the whole time trying to indicate to him that he needs to stop it without bringing attention to him doing it. I'm really embarrassed by it and no matter how much I talk to him about it he still does it.

[Meriwether]

I don't know what is considered normal, but both my boys (5 and 3) are circ'd and there are days when the only phrase I say more often than "Don't touch your peepee" is "Get your hands out of your pants".

[Joanne]

I know he is uncircumcised, is this normal, or is it just due to bad hygiene? or something else? I see her twice a week (Wednesday evening Bible Study and Sunday Church) and this is pretty consistent and happens all the time.

 

I'm talking constantly itching like every few minutes.

 

It's a common habit of young boys. The fact that he's intact is not related. In fact, I'd encourage you to not think uncircumcised and bad hygiene as related. It's possible you have some old/inaccurate ideas of male hygiene.

 

He'll outgrow it. At least to the extent of what most men do. :lol::tongue_smilie:

[justamouse]

Ha! I remember those days!. It's a boy thing.

[Hedgehogs4]

This is partly because he's just a boy, and could also be due to stress. If he is an unfamiliar environment or under stress, it could be happening more often or as a "nervous habit." Children will tend to do this to alleviate stress, though it's an unconscious behavior.

[msrift]

I also have a son who grabbed his crotch a lot. It got to the point that we made up a code word "sandpaper" to use in public so I didn't have to embarrass either one of us when I corrected him. Eventually he stopped.

[Melissa in FL]

Well, I'll agree it is normal....but my son has always grabbed himself more when he's outgrowning his underware or his pants are getting tight. He never tells me they are getting small, but I can tell because he'll "arrange" himself more often. He needs new long pants right now... guess how I know?? I'm not going to buy him any though or I'll have the same problem in the fall!

Melissa

[Tangerine]

My boy is intact, and I'm pretty sure he does "private things", as we say, on par with his tiny peers.

[jillian]

it is normal to a degree. do the parents overreact? if so he may do it to get attention. however i agree with the other pps :)

[Ravin]

The little boy I babysit does this. He just turned 4. He was starting to get over it, but has been doing it again along with acting out in other ways since his dad's been in the hospital since mid-Feb and mom is due to have another baby any day now.

 

Correcting the behavior ad-nauseum is how his mother (and consequently I) deal with it. Unless he starts doing it just to get attention (particularly in the car), then we ignore him.

 

Friend's DS is circ'ed, I don't think it has anything to do with that.

[lovemyboys]

it is normal to a degree. do the parents overreact? if so he may do it to get attention. however i agree with the other pps :)

 

If it's a lot of itching rather than just touching, maybe there is something to change -- clothing too tight, perhaps a little hygiene issue, soap/bubblebath irritation.

[joannqn]

My 3 year old discovered his penis during potty training and now won't stop playing with himself. He'll sit forever on the potty chair and play too. I tell him he can play with his penis but he must do it in his room. If he wants to be in the living room with us, he must leave his penis alone.

[jillian]

If it's a lot of itching rather than just touching, maybe there is something to change -- clothing too tight, perhaps a little hygiene issue, soap/bubblebath irritation.

true, i guess i just went there to "rule out" that possibility since i hadn't seen anyone else say anything :)

[KJsMom]

I'm so glad I have girls!:tongue_smilie:

[1bassoon]

If he wants to be in the living room with us, he must leave his penis alone.

 

Things you never thought you'd hear yourself say, eh? :)

[LanaTron]

Not just a boy thing...my dd did this at that age. ;-)

[joannqn]

Things you never thought you'd hear yourself say, eh? :)

 

 

True, except what is worse is the long drawn out conversations about who has a penis. They go like this.

 

DS: Four people have a penis. Daddy has a penis.

Me: Yes, daddy has a penis.

DS: And Sam has a penis.

Me: Yes, your brother has a penis.

DS: And I have a penis.

Me: Yes, you have one too.

DS: Zacky has a penis.

Me: Yes, our dog is a boy.

DS: But Maddie has a bottom.

Me: Everyone has a bottom.

DS: And you don't have a penis.

Me: No, I don't. I'm a girl.

 

...and so on.

[2squared]

Yet another idea....My 3.5yo constantly grabs himself, too, but in his case it's because he is delaying using the toilet. He delays and delays and delays and delays. :glare: My most frequent comment to him is, "Go use the potty and then xyz."

[Prairie~Phlox]

Ok, thanks for the reassurance, I just thought maybe something else was going on down there, but it is probably for attention, as he acts out and does things for attention and the like. I have two boys as well, but we never had this issue, though dh is very strict and I'm sure would have put a stop to it if we had.

[TXMary2]

I don't know what is considered normal, but both my boys (5 and 3) are circ'd and there are days when the only phrase I say more often than "Don't touch your peepee" is "Get your hands out of your pants".

 

My ds6 has his hand down his pants anytime he is lounging in front of the TV....it's as if he can't watch cartoons without having his hand in his pants. I think it is normal....according to dh "once a boy discovers his p**is, he never let's go of it." LOL It only bugs me because of the hands cleanliness thing! My other two boys never did it.

[KidsHappen]

Totally normal and I don't know that they ever outgrow it. They just learn to contain it to private spaces. I personally think that they are afraid they have lost it, are going to lose it or just want to comfort themselves with the fact that it is in fact still there. The boy just needs to be redirected.

[OhM]

I'm so glad I have girls!:tongue_smilie:

 

Yep, as I used to tell my friend who had all boys, "That is reason 756 that I'm glad I have girls!"

[brightside]

I vote for too tight underpants and hygiene issues. I actually moved my son to boxers and that helps a lot.

[Desert Rat]

Totally normal and I don't know that they ever outgrow it. They just learn to contain it to private spaces. I personally think that they are afraid they have lost it, are going to lose it or just want to comfort themselves with the fact that it is in fact still there. The boy just needs to be redirected.

 

My two boys are intact and went through their phases around that age where they were constantly playing with it. I think mine did more playing when they were figuring out potty training. At 7 and 10, they don't fiddle much anymore.

 

If I were to hazard a guess, I would say either his clothes are ill fitting or he has to go the bathroom.

 

FWIW, my little guy sleeps with one hand down his pants. LOL Kidshappen is probably right; he's afraid it's going to go somewhere in the middle of the night. :lol:

[melissel]

Totally normal and I don't know that they ever outgrow it. They just learn to contain it to private spaces. I personally think that they are afraid they have lost it, are going to lose it or just want to comfort themselves with the fact that it is in fact still there.

 

:lol::lol::lol: DH says the same exact thing. I can't believe there's a boy on the planet that didn't go through this phase (or man on the planet not still going through it!).

[Snickerdoodle]

It's a protuberance at exactly arm's length. Really, is it a wonder that they touch it?

[LauraGB]

Am I the only one whose son didn't do this? Publicly, anyway (what he does on his own, I have no idea). Sure, the occasionally "I gotta pee but I don't want to stop what I'm doing" grab and dance, but he never really did this sort of thing. I wonder if it's because we had some friends where two of the boys ALWAYS did this - at the dinner table, at the store, while just conversing - we all were shocked and uncomfortable by it, to the point where I actually asked thier mom why she lets them do it. She really didn't seem to care, so at 8 and 9 years old, this thing was still going on :001_huh:. Ds absolutely refused to touch them (yes, we did discuss how to be polite about this - sometimes he was polite and others...he was just really grossed out by it). He didn't want to eat there, either, after having done so a few times where the boys literally had one hand down thier pants the whole time! Maybe witnessing the behavior in a peer was helpful for him to know better than to do it in public.

[qfbrenda]

Am I the only one whose son didn't do this?

None of my 5 boys have done it that much. :tongue_smilie: If they did, it was usually a sign they needed the bathroom.

 

I agree with everyone else, but I would also take a look and make sure there's nothing swollen or red. It's possible that he has an infection going though it's unlikely.

[SapphireStitch]

Totally normal and I don't know that they ever outgrow it. They just learn to contain it to private spaces. I personally think that they are afraid they have lost it, are going to lose it or just want to comfort themselves with the fact that it is in fact still there. The boy just needs to be redirected.

 

:lol: :iagree:

 

A friend of mine has a code phrase she uses with her son for dealing with stuff like this in public. "Self control, <insert child's name> self control." It's nice and generic and can also apply to a wide variety of other things that shouldn't be done in public...nose picking, for instance.

[wapiti]

I know he is uncircumcised, is this normal, or is it just due to bad hygiene? or something else? I see her twice a week (Wednesday evening Bible Study and Sunday Church) and this is pretty consistent and happens all the time.

 

I'm talking constantly itching like every few minutes.

Could it be he's a bit yeast-y? I once read that boys with yeast problems (systemic) tend to be doing that. And yeast can cause itchiness.

 

I have one who tends to do that and one who doesn't at all (twins). The one who does also tends to have yeast problems, so when I see him doing that I start giving him probiotics and also baking soda baths.

[Daisy]

We've always walked our son to the bathroom the minute that type of behavior started. Never a punitive type thing. We've just taught him that good manners dictates one adjust themselves, scratch, etc. in private. Often it meant he needed to use the facilities and was attempting to delay.

 

Since most little boys don't wish to live in the bathroom, the "adjusting" behavior was quickly curtailed.

 

Because of the above, I would be more likely to assume my son had a medical problem (allergy, yeast, etc.) if he was constantly scratching.

[EKS]

Both of my boys went through a stage like this. It lasted about 6 months.

[Firefly]

Am I the only one whose son didn't do this?

 

Nope, mine didn't either. (And FTR, he's intact.)

[stripe]

It's a common habit of young boys. The fact that he's intact is not related. In fact, I'd encourage you to not think uncircumcised and bad hygiene as related. It's possible you have some old/inaccurate ideas of male hygiene.

 

However, there are certain particular issues uncircumcised males may have with cleanliness, that should be considered. Not an assumption that there is a problem, but an acknowledgment of the possibility. And given the kid's age, I'd say (if it were the case) that it's more about his parents' lack of knowledge or actions to ensure good hygiene -- rather like babies with stinky diapers -- no one should blame the boy if he's not been kept clean! I know when my kids have a rash on any part of their body, it tends to irritate them and they rub it a lot, so it could be this, or it could be unrelated.

 

I think it can be normal, but it can also be not.

[Joanne]

However, there are certain particular issues uncircumcised males may have with cleanliness, that should be considered. Not an assumption that there is a problem, but an acknowledgment of the possibility. And given the kid's age, I'd say (if it were the case) that it's more about his parents' lack of knowledge or actions to ensure good hygiene -- rather like babies with stinky diapers -- no one should blame the boy if he's not been kept clean! I know when my kids have a rash on any part of their body, it tends to irritate them and they rub it a lot, so it could be this, or it could be unrelated.

 

I think it can be normal, but it can also be not.

 

Actually, that's the kind of (mis)information I am talking about. Boys are not supposed to be forcibly or even gently retracted to clean until the foreskin is completely and naturally loosened.

 

Nothing more is required for hygience or cleanliness.

[Joanne]

Am I the only one whose son didn't do this? Publicly, anyway (what he does on his own, I have no idea). Sure, the occasionally "I gotta pee but I don't want to stop what I'm doing" grab and dance, but he never really did this sort of thing. I wonder if it's because we had some friends where two of the boys ALWAYS did this - at the dinner table, at the store, while just conversing - we all were shocked and uncomfortable by it, to the point where I actually asked thier mom why she lets them do it. She really didn't seem to care, so at 8 and 9 years old, this thing was still going on :001_huh:. Ds absolutely refused to touch them (yes, we did discuss how to be polite about this - sometimes he was polite and others...he was just really grossed out by it). He didn't want to eat there, either, after having done so a few times where the boys literally had one hand down thier pants the whole time! Maybe witnessing the behavior in a peer was helpful for him to know better than to do it in public.

 

 

Those details seem age-inappropriate and unexpected. My boys stopped both outgrew the phase by kindergarten.

[SonshineLearner]

Hey there, Since my son isn't cut, and he doesn't do this... but does grab every once in a while... I'd remind them.... (if asked) First, don't forcibly retract. (ouch!!) 2nd, if it retracts without force... which happens anywhere between 4 and 10 give or take...) wash with water when bathing. 3rd, you could suggest that they "look" to see if it's red hot.... My son did have a yeast infection when young once or twice.. easy to clear up... PM me if you need directions.... over the counter yeast infection meds work great..

[stripe]

Actually, that's the kind of (mis)information I am talking about. Boys are not supposed to be forcibly or even gently retracted to clean until the foreskin is completely and naturally loosened.

 

Nothing more is required for hygience or cleanliness.

I didn't say anything about retracting foreskins, so I'm not sure why you've decided that I am spreading "misinformation." It is this sort of jumping to conclusions that makes conversations difficult, when every discussion is assumed to be armed combat (do you know my opinion on foreskin retraction?).

 

It is possible that constantly rubbing ANY part of the body indicates (or causes) irritation. Last time I checked, most penises are covered with skin, and skin irritation could occur at any portion of male genitalia as much as on any other part of the body. It is possible that the child has gotten fecal matter spread around his urethra, for all I know; this or other issues of poor hygiene aren't foreskin specific. When I spoke of skin irritation, I was referring more to diaper rashes (in the anal area, lest I be misunderstood) or other sorts of skin rashes.

 

Yawn.

[lea1]

One of our sons does this at times. He has had yeast infections in the past. At those times, this behavior definitely increases and he needs some medication.

[Joanne]

I didn't say anything about retracting foreskins, so I'm not sure why you've decided that I am spreading "misinformation." It is this sort of jumping to conclusions that makes conversations difficult, when every discussion is assumed to be armed combat (do you know my opinion on foreskin retraction?).

 

It is possible that constantly rubbing ANY part of the body indicates (or causes) irritation. Last time I checked, most penises are covered with skin, and skin irritation could occur at any portion of male genitalia as much as on any other part of the body. It is possible that the child has gotten fecal matter spread around his urethra, for all I know; this or other issues of poor hygiene aren't foreskin specific. When I spoke of skin irritation, I was referring more to diaper rashes (in the anal area, lest I be misunderstood) or other sorts of skin rashes.

 

Yawn.

 

 

Yawn back at ya. You indicated special issues having to do with intact males. You were the one who mentioned the intact-specific issues. That's what I posted in response to.

 

You posted:

 

 

However, there are certain particular issues uncircumcised males may have with cleanliness, that should be considered. Not an assumption that there is a problem, but an acknowledgment of the possibility. And given the kid's age, I'd say (if it were the case) that it's more about his parents' lack of knowledge or actions to ensure good hygiene

[StartingOver]

True, except what is worse is the long drawn out conversations about who has a penis. They go like this.

 

DS: Four people have a penis. Daddy has a penis.

Me: Yes, daddy has a penis.

DS: And Sam has a penis.

Me: Yes, your brother has a penis.

DS: And I have a penis.

Me: Yes, you have one too.

DS: Zacky has a penis.

Me: Yes, our dog is a boy.

DS: But Maddie has a bottom.

Me: Everyone has a bottom.

DS: And you don't have a penis.

Me: No, I don't. I'm a girl.

 

...and so on.

 

:lol: :lol: :lol:

 

Sorry I just had to. My DD at her 2 year check up last week, to her pediatrician...

I have a naunie.

Bubba Quince has a peanut.

Mommy has a naunie.

Daddy has a peanut.

Yaya ( sister ) has a naunie.

Bubba Corky has a peanut.

Baby Trey has a peanut.

We all have a hiney.

What do you have ???

 

I just about died, but my very cool pediatrician says, " I have a naunie, I am a girl."

 

Emma says, " I am a girl and will be a mommy some day too."

 

To the OP

I have 3 boys and 2 girls. Scratching I might be worried about. But other touching is pretty normal for all kids. Two of my boys are circumcised, one is not. It didn't make any difference in their self explorations.

[Tangerine]

However, there are certain particular issues uncircumcised males may have with cleanliness, that should be considered.

 

What are they?

[StartingOver]

Actually, that's the kind of (mis)information I am talking about. Boys are not supposed to be forcibly or even gently retracted to clean until the foreskin is completely and naturally loosened.

 

Nothing more is required for hygience or cleanliness.

 

I would be thinking more along the lines of tight underwear. Or a rash.

 

It is funny though that so many people think to this day that you should retract and clean. I had to educate my pediatrician.

[smrtmama]

It's a common habit of young boys. The fact that he's intact is not related. In fact, I'd encourage you to not think uncircumcised and bad hygiene as related. It's possible you have some old/inaccurate ideas of male hygiene.

 

He'll outgrow it. At least to the extent of what most men do. :lol::tongue_smilie:

 

Yes, all of this!

[Joanne]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Joanne

It's a common habit of young boys. The fact that he's intact is not related. In fact, I'd encourage you to not think uncircumcised and bad hygiene as related. It's possible you have some old/inaccurate ideas of male hygiene.

 

He'll outgrow it. At least to the extent of what most men do.

 

 

Yes, all of this!

 

I should add, though, the I always re-directed my boys' hands and focus. After a few times of telling them that it was "for private only", if they reached in public or in front of others, I'd say "private" and touch their arm.

[Nestof3]

It's a common habit of young boys. The fact that he's intact is not related. In fact, I'd encourage you to not think uncircumcised and bad hygiene as related. It's possible you have some old/inaccurate ideas of male hygiene.

 

He'll outgrow it. At least to the extent of what most men do. :lol::tongue_smilie:

 

:iagree: Uncircumcised men can practice good hygiene just like circumcised.

 

PS -- My young sons have the same habit, and they are circumcised. I just say, "quit fiddlin'

[smrtmama]

I should add, though, the I always re-directed my boys' hands and focus. After a few times of telling them that it was "for private only", if they reached in public or in front of others, I'd say "private" and touch their arm.

 

Yes, we have a "your room or the bathroom, with the door shut" policy. It's normal, but not exactly fit for company.

[Impish]

Oh heavens. I was sitting on the couch with Tazzie the other evening, and noticed he was messing with his underwear.

 

Me: What are you doing?

T: Rubbing my penis (completely nonchalant)

Me *choking* Please don't do that on the couch beside me.

T: Its my penis. I can rub it if I want. It tickles.

Me: If you want to do that, you need to go to your room and have some privacy.

T: But its my body! I should be allowed to touch my body!

Me: *heavy sigh* And you can. In your room. Not beside Mommy on the couch. Its rude.

T: *heavy sigh* Fine. (took his hands out of his pants.)

:lol:

Honestly, some days the only things I say to that child seem to be, "Get your fingers out of your nose!" and "Get your hands out of your pants!"

 

Fwiw, Tazzie is circ'd.

[phathui5]

My sons are uncircumcised and don't constantly grab themselves, so I don't think it's related.