So, do you ever feel you would be a nicer mom if you didn't homeschool?

[KIN]

Sometimes it feels like I don't get to do the fun cuddling and reading anymore. We read, but it is for history or science or to teach the child to read. The days feel so full with school and cleaning and cooking and life. I wonder, sometimes, if I would be excited to see my kids in the evening after school and if I would appreciate the time with them more. I don't think I'm being very clear, but not sure how to explain it better. I've had a rough few weeks of feeling like I can't take the time to do this or that with each child, but have to just keep us on track to get our work done. It isn't a fun feeling. I also wonder if it is having a baby again and it will get better?

 

Now, I'm not wanting to alarm anyone here. :) I am enjoying my kids. I don't want to do anything different. But, as I said, sometimes I wonder if I would be able to just enjoy my kids more b/c I wouldn't be teaching them EVERYTHING. KWIM?

[Lady Katherine]

Well, I will probably be unpopular for saying this, but .... yes. :(

 

In my case, I really have been a better mom since I put my kids in school. I had great dreams of being the homeschooling super-mom :confused: all the way through high school, but that turned out to be unrealistic. Now, my house is cleaner, I'm less irritable :o, I'm happier to see my kids in the afternoon, and I actually plan a dinner now and then so we all get to eat together.

 

I'm not saying homeschooling was a mistake -- it was great and I loved it! I'm not saying that anyone here should question themselves. But it was like being in a pressure cooker for me, and I didn't realize it until I stopped. I had gone as far with it as I could, and I had met my limits. It's hard to admit it, especially here, but ... yes. I am a better mom this year than I was last year. :)

[Tammyla]

You've got a lot of little ones. Keeping up with them, the house and school work would be a challege to any mom. Many of us understand, and I'll encourage you by saying it does get easier as they get older. So, hang in there. Enjoy the little ones while they are still little, and when possible find time for just some fun.

[Mekanamom]

For me, I don't think I'd be any nicer. I'd be running them around to after school activities and cracking the whip to make sure all their homework got done.

 

I think I'm able to relax with the kids more often homeschooling them than I would if they were in school.

 

I'd be able to relax myself a bit more often, and get more of my own stuff done though- while they were gone. ;) But as they get older and more independent, I'm getting some of my own time back.

 

If you are feeling over scheduled, can you schedule in some down time? We're trying to get together for family story time in the evenings... we listen to an audio book together (just a chapter or two at a time) while we work on crafts (knitting, etc.). It becomes something to look forward to- something we do just for enjoyment and not specifically for school (although listening to a good storyteller is great for learning too.)

[Kris]

Honestly, I'm a nicer Mom now that we are homeschooling, but I only have one to deal with. I really don't know if I could handle more.

 

He's a nicer kid, now, too!

 

Some of it might be just that he's growing up, but when he was in public school, I realize now, we were both stressed out messes. I was constantly having to deal with "authority figures" which is not my strength. And he was dealing with a lot, too, and as time goes on I learn more and more about all the problems he was having with the kids, the teachers, the bus drivers.

 

I was breathing a sigh of relief when he left in the morning and I dreaded when he would come home in the afternoons -- the notes, the phone calls and the lies (like, no I don't have any homework -- then come to find out he wasn't doing *anything*).

 

Things are *so* much better now. Stuff just doesn't bother me -- or him -- like it used to.

 

But, like I said, if I had to do it with more than one, I don't think that would be the case.

[Daisy]

Sure, especially today. But it is like anything else, I have tunnel vision. I tend to forget how stressed and hectic and barking I was when the kids were in ps. Today was a bad day for us. Tomorrow will be better. I hope. I blogged about our bad day and by the end of it, I was laughing. Sometimes, feeling the way you mentioned, makes us stop and re-evaluate what is important. Can you make some changes??

[Sue G in PA]

Could be that I'm 7 mos. pregnant w/ #7 and very irritable and hormonal. Could be that I'm just feeling WAY overwhelmed. But, esp. with my first grader I'm wondering if he and I would stop getting along like oil and water if he were in school. I feel as if I'm constantly yelling at him to stop doing this or that or pay attention or whatever. But, we are committed to hsing our kids unless something very extreme happens to change that. So, I'm the one who must do the changing but for the life of me I just don't know how. Sorry I can't offer you tips or suggestions on what to do. Just know you aren't alone. THe days I feel most volatile, I either call my good friend to pray for me (it always makes me feel better) or just do more fun stuff. My biggest source of aggravation is the condition of my house. I'm not a very organized person. I just don't know where to start and with such a small and crowded house, it just gets overwhelming. Seems as if I clean one day and the next it looks just as bad or worse. I get very jealous and resentful of my dh who comes home and gets to do all the fun stuff w/ them while I finish dinner or cleaning or laundry or whatever. I do hope it gets easier. I'll be praying it does for you.

[Amy in Orlando]

I think if I'd been homeschooling when my kids were as young as yours, I'd have felt how you did. We never even considered homeschooling until my oldest three were 6,6, & 7. Honestly, I enjoyed having them in school and having a bit of time.

 

Now that they're older (ages below), I think I would be a much meaner mom if they were in school. The running around, dealing with an elementary, middle and high school, the attitudes and living by the school's schedule would most likely make me insane.

 

Go ahead and slow down on the academics and do some of the fun stuff for a while. They really don't stay little forever and right now, your sanity is as, if not more, important than school.

[Amy in NH]

I agree with Shel. I'd be a bear if I had to live on a school schedule and run around picking up kids at school, get their homework done, and try to spend some time with them.

 

I think I'd be a nicer mom if all I did was homeschool and keep up with the house. I am really quite mean when I feel pressed for time or stressed about overscheduling. That's why we limit the group activities and field trips.

 

We also school year round so that I don't feel pressured about getting school "done" by a certain date. It is just an ongoing thing and we can take breaks when we need them, ski one day per week in the winter and not stress about "missing school", etc.

[Rebel]

My son was in school through 3rd grade and homeschooled ever since. He is 14 now. I am much nicer and more relaxed since we started homeschooling, BUT and this is a big BUT, I was working full-time outside the home when he was in PS. Ironically, I was teaching public school. Being more relaxed and nicer may be as much from working at home as from homeschooling.

[8filltheheart]

I have definitely evolved in my views of homeschooling over the yrs. I was always adament that homeschooling was the best choice when my kids were little. I absolutely no longer believe that at all. Quite honestly, I believe that older children need the separation of mom and teacher roles.

 

Homeschooling is simply one option among many.

[Pam "SFSOM" in TN]

I am very pleased that we chose year by year what to do instead of having the One Right Way Forever attitude. (And by that I don't mean simply homeschool, but public and private school as well.)

 

My kids have thrived on a mixture that was partly what was best for them as regarded seasons of life and continuity and what was best for mom as regarded sanity.

 

We've done home, German, private, public, boarding, and boarding with a touring compenent. Every year we stepped back and said, "Is this the very best we can choose at this time for all parties involved?" If the answer was no, we found the new normal and did that.

 

No regrets academically. This way definitely worked for our family. I'll continue to evaluate like this til I don't have students in my house anymore.

[JennifersLost]

I just needed a break, and now we'll do things differently.

 

Part of why I put kids in school was the strain of having to do everything. After a year's break I am more myself. Now my kids are coming home again.

 

The difference is my kids are older and they will be directing their own learning now. The youngest two will stay in school.

 

I, too, think it's wise to re-evaluate things each year. There's no reason to think you always have to do the same thing.

 

I like that we did classical ed first - my kids are really ready for life already. Now they can follow their passions.

[LNC]

I say it's a trade off.

 

My 10yos w/ special needs just started in a tmd class at the public school - he had been homeschooled always. He's not very verbal so that plays a role in what I'm going to share, but still! I am more patient with him in the afternoon and evenings. But, it is heartbreaking how little I know about him these days. He has a friend named "Derek" - I have no idea who this kids is or who is parents are yet. Wierd! I don't know what he's learning, what the names of his curriculums are etc. I only recieve brief and vague notes from his teacher.

 

I do know he loves it, and that he is kept busier than I could do while teaching my other children. It's sad in its own way though... I liked knowing everything about him better.

[Jennifer in MI]

Yes, I do. If the kids were in school, I wouldn't have to be the bad guy for everything - school and social. KWIM? I do believe that homeschooling is the best for us right now and we'll continue, but, believe me, there are days when I really want to send them out the door and across the street (literally) to the ps.

 

Then, there are the days I talk with my ps mom friends. They get their kids home at 4 pm or so and immediatelly take them out to an activity (karate or baseball or soccer with my kids). Then, they get home and have dinner. Then, they have to start homework at 7 pm. I actually think that that would be harder in the long run.

 

Yes, I long sometimes for the full days to myself. But, when I think of what I'd have to give up - long term - really, it's not true. We travel off season, my dh wouldn't see the kids on his days off, we'd have to cut back on the kid's extra activities, etc.

 

(((((hugs))))) Really, I understand!!!

[PinkInTheBlue]

I've wondered that at times also. Then I think of what it would be like if the boys got home from school, had 1 - 3 hours of homework, ate dinner, played a few mintues at best, got baths, brushed teeth and rushed to bed. I'd have so little time with them and so much of it would be "hurry, hurry", "do this - do that" and that wouldn't be much fun either. I think this is still be better side of the fence. :)

[Lady Katherine]

YES. What she said!!

[siloam]

I don't think so. From talking to my SIL it is just different. She used to spend all her time in the evenings doing homework, and getting them to do their chores. Then they wanted to play video games. There wasn't that much cuddle time.

 

She just started hsing to have more time with the boys as well as give them a better education.

 

Heather

[gardenschooler]

Sometimes it feels like I don't get to do the fun cuddling and reading anymore. We read, but it is for history or science or to teach the child to read. The days feel so full with school and cleaning and cooking and life. I wonder, sometimes, if I would be excited to see my kids in the evening after school and if I would appreciate the time with them more. I don't think I'm being very clear, but not sure how to explain it better. I've had a rough few weeks of feeling like I can't take the time to do this or that with each child, but have to just keep us on track to get our work done. It isn't a fun feeling. I also wonder if it is having a baby again and it will get better?

 

Now, I'm not wanting to alarm anyone here. :) I am enjoying my kids. I don't want to do anything different. But, as I said, sometimes I wonder if I would be able to just enjoy my kids more b/c I wouldn't be teaching them EVERYTHING. KWIM?

 

Yes, but boy, was I wrong!

 

I thought my dd15 & I would get along better. It's even worse now, because in addition to problems we had before, we often run into problems now in her not fully communicating with me what's going on. Before, I knew. And that aggravates me! Having to play 20 questions doesn't make me a nice mom.

 

And I barely see her, except on the weekends and for dinner. After school, there's homework, then we do some chores and dinner (I see her then), but then after that, she's either doing more homework or on the phone. She has been around more on the weekends, but I still feel like I never see her. She does spend time with her sisters (kind of hard not to when you share a room, lol).

 

I didn't realize how much letting my oldest go to ps for 10th would alter the family dynamic, and completely change her and our lives. I wouldn't have done it if I had. I thought it would mean she'd be gone until 3 pm, but she's emotionally 'checked out' from here 24/7.

 

But she's happy, especially with the low(er) standards the school has, and all kinds of things like 'spirit week' and whatnot, that mean nothing. My younger one asked me why the school has all of these dress-up days, and I told her it was to distract the kids from the fact that they're not getting an education!

 

She's been very responsible with it all, but in comparison to the responsibilities and academic load she had at home before (especially in 8th & 9th grades), it's not much.

 

Enough about me.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

KIN, if I were you, I would just make a large part of your school the part you are missing. I really don't think you would have more time if they went to school. There's the decompression time needed after school, then dinner and homework, bath and clothes ready for the next day, early bedtime....of course, plenty of parents with kids in school spend time reading and cuddling, but I'm just saying I don't think sending them to school will give you more time for that, and it would definitely add to your stress.

 

I'd pare down on the cleaning and cooking and life, even on some other academic things, and devote the first part of the day to what it is you feel is missing. Everything will fall into place.

 

And I remember when I had my last one, and the olders were in K & 2nd grade. I really didn't get a lot done in a day, but we have fond memories of piling in bed and reading together.

 

Hang in there.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~I'm going to edit this to add that I obviously have some 'issues' letting go (ya think?). Saying negative things about the ps that I chose to enroll my dd in is just feeding it, and the truth is, it's not that bad. There is a lot of good, too, and I should also add that some of our main reasons were a) she REALLY wanted to go, and b) we often butt heads. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~``

[Janet in WA]

I was a much nicer mom after we pulled our sons out of ps and began homeschooling. We were all calmer and happier.

[6packofun]

Really, we've never done anything but homeschool and playing the "what if...?" or grass-is-greener game has bitten me in the hiney too many times to want to go there. lol I just try not to let myself believe the lie that my circumstances or any outer influences ultimately control what kind of mom and person I am. It's a tough pill to swallow sometimes, but if I want to be nicer and sending my kids to school is what accomplishes that, I'm afraid of what that would really say about me. :(

 

And that has nothing to do with what school choice is right for each family, each child. I don't believe that homeschooling is the right answer for everyone.

[Mx5]

Your baby is only 7 months old. I don't know about you but I never even felt mostly human until the current baby was around 18 months old.

 

You have, by today's standards, a large family. You will be busy with life, cooking, laundry, etc. whether the kids are home with you or not. But if you decide to not homeschool, understand that there's a trade off. You would have to weigh the benefits against the detriments.

 

For me, putting my kids in school just wasn't an option, because I didn't want to be debriefing them all the time. I figured I could homeschool in the amount of time it would take them to do their "real" school homework, so why send 'em out there?

 

I know what you mean, though, about missing the more fun things. But regardless of where the kids are educated, you're still the mom and will have to be the one keeping them on task. It's definitely a tough role, but in retrospect it flies by.

[gardenschooler]

JenniferGWOTW? Why are you lost?

[angela in ohio]

For me, I don't think I'd be any nicer. I'd be running them around to after school activities and cracking the whip to make sure all their homework got done.

 

I think I'm able to relax with the kids more often homeschooling them than I would if they were in school.

 

I agree. Running around on someone else's schedule is what makes me Really Crabby, so homeschooling is better.

 

Also, with two children 3 and under, and considering it is the middle of January... give yourself a break!! :D

[Melissa in FL]

Yes, sometimes I feel that way. Then sometimes I feel like I do today, everything went perfect. Chores were all done in a timely manner, no complaints at doing school work, figured out this semesters co-op schedule, all the kids had time to play together and they really didn't argue with each other today. No matter what lifestyle you choose there are times that the grass is greener.

 

When I feel the most like sending them all to school, I think about a family I know. They don't know each other. Their day starts at 6:30 getting everyone ready for school, packing lunches, getting backpacks ready, and pulling their kids out the door. They are all separate all day. After school dad picks up the kids, brings them home, gives them a snack and then goes into his office to finish working while the kids sort of fend for themselves. If they get too loud they are sent outside. Mom comes home (the kids are always outside by then) cooks dinner, feeds them, goes over homework, gets them showered and puts them in bed. That's it! That's their day. Weekends are too busy catching up on laundry, going grocery shopping, taking the kids to schoolmates birthday parties, and cleaning the house for them to ever spend quality time together.

 

I know these kids because I spend a great deal of time with them. When I first met them and tried to ask them a question, they acted like a deer hit by headlights. They would literally freeze. Now they can talk to me, but it took a long time before they would. I don't want my family to ever be close to that.

 

What I would love is a week with them gone, heck a day! We moved down here to be closer to family, what a joke. My IL's have never offered to take my kids for the day. They were forced to take them when dh was in the hospital, and even though they never said it, it was made clear they didn't like it.

 

For the most part, days like today out weigh the bad days. When we are having a bad week (which happens), I tend to either call a snow day (nice thing about FL, we make up our own snow days and we can still go out), or take the kids somewhere like the zoo. Often when that feeling goes on for too long I reevaluate what we're doing and change what the problem is.

 

Anyway, I hope this helps

Melissa

[Mom2Two]

Now that we are all in public school (me included as a teacher now), I think I was nicer before because I didn't have all the stress of working full-time and we had much more time together to bond as mother and children. Now we all have our separate issues going on. I think if I was home and not working, it would be different whether they were in school or homeschooling. I am just so tired at night and on the weekends now. I look forward to our breaks and summer vacation!:cool:

[Tess in the Burbs]

I have those days. Where both kids were struggling in every subject and by lunch I am exhausted and just want them to go play. It's like I don't know how to play anymore and only know how to educate/drill facts.

 

No answers, but yes, I have those days!

[chiguirre]

I'm definitely a better mom hsing the 2 I do. If I had to send ds2 to ps, I would probably be very stressed by having to be on the ISD's case to get an appropriate education for him. It's sooo much less stressful to just put a solid program together myself.

 

OTOH, if I had ds1 home all day every day, we'd be at each other's throats. We both need our space in our to enjoy each other's company.

[Kathie in VA]

I too wonder at this one. Before homeschooling I was working ... I did cut hours down to part time but it seemed the work load didn't change. I remember blocking the feeling of getting mad at my kids (my 7, 6, and 3 year old kiddos) just because they got sick and I needed to stay home... when I had work hours to get in! UG! That soooo needed to change.

 

But now we are home, oldest is 13yo, and I'm always a bit upset because we never seem to get a decent day of school in. Either they are spacey, or the toddler is needy, or I'm not prepared to get things done, or dh has other things he wants me to focus on, or home improvements are going on, etc.

 

So I guess it doesn't matter, I seem to get stressed either way.

[Pam "SFSOM" in TN]

JenniferGWOTW? Why are you lost?

 

Different Jennifer. :)

[KIN]

I'm feeling better reading everyone's replies! I'm going to start tomorrow with a more relaxed feeling! We are having a good school year, but I'm sure as the baby gets older it will get better. As for ps or private school, I know myself, and I would be very busy running my kids here and there for the "best" activities that "everyone" is in. Keep the replies coming, I'm really enjoying reading them!

[Mamagistra]

No, I'm pretty sure that's our GWOTW, judging by her blog...

[KIN]

No, I'm pretty sure that's our GWOTW, judging by her blog...

 

I almost asked, too, if it was GWOTW from her reply!

[Pam "SFSOM" in TN]

No, I'm pretty sure that's our GWOTW, judging by her blog...

 

By golly, you're right! Jennifer changed her name and I missed it?

 

You know, Jennifer, all who wander are not lost. ;)

[jail warden]

KIN and I talked today and I have had some of the same feelings in the last 2 years. Y'all have made me feel much better!!! Thanks!:)

[melissel]

Gah! Ack25 and I just spent an hour on the phone discussing this post and the issue itself. I have been mean, mean, MEAN mommy for the last week or so, and I can't figure out how to break out of it. I told her that what always restabilizes my commitment to HSing is hearing her tell me stories about public school problems! I'm actually about to post a related thread.

[Jenny in Atl]

I'm also in the camp that thinks not. If I was not homeschooling my girls, I would be working, at least part-time. A whole other set of stress and pressure along with after school activities would wipe out any stress I now feel.

[StaceyinLA]

Well, sometimes I feel like I'd be nicer if I had no kids at all. ;-p No, really, I just don't see it that way. I see the school schedules, deadlines, homework, etc. as detriments. I believe when you have your kids home all day, you can set the pace, and YOU can decide if you want to take an hour to just sit, cuddle and read to your littles, or if you want to be strict about schoolwork.

 

There are lots of days where my kids (now teens) and I just pick up and head out. We go downtown, walk the levee, go to the museums, sit at the sushi bar looking over the Mississippi River, and just enjoy a gorgeous day together. We could NEVER do that if they were in school - not spontaneously anyway.

 

Besides, I have seen a lot of families whose kids don't stay nearly as close once they are in school. Right now, my kids are there for one another, loyal to one another, and they love spending time together (most of the time). When others come into play, that dynamic changes. I just didn't/don't want that for my kids. I already feel weird enough with the oldest in college and unable to be with us on our, "fun" days, but she was part of it for 12 years before she stepped out into the real world...

 

Just hold on to your little ones, do the things that make YOU happy, and don't let the rest of life get in the way!

[nancypants]

I know exactly what you mean. I really do feel like that sometimes. I have to take a step back when I feel that way and go back to all the reasons I do this. Still, I don't know if there is a way to escape feeling like a huge nag when you have a child (or more than one) that balks at every single lesson you ever set before him. It gets emotionally and mentally exhausting.

 

On the other hand, there are days when I feel that this is the best life ever!

[Elaine]

Some days "yes" and some days "no".

 

It boils down to my attitude. When my attitude stinks and I act like MartyrMom, than yeah, I'm not very pleasant to be around. I am working on this, but golly, it's a challenge.

 

When I grow up I want to be Dy.;)

[AKshanmar]

Well, quite honestly, I think I am a meaner mom homeschooling, but I am also a better one. My kids were in public school for 6 years before we started homeschooling. I said "Hurry, we are late!" about 30 times everyday. I brushed off discipline problems as something that would disappear when they went to school for the day. I wasn't as relaxed with them. We know each other very well now! When I am mean, they don't take it as personally as they did before, because they are more assured of my love, because I have had more time to express it.

[TammyinTN]

I'm a much nicer homeschooling mom. I'm able to stay more organized by not leaving the house than by dropping them off at school. I tried to start a new schedule for the New Year with times for everything...oh please, it just doesn't work (at least for me). So I came up with a schedule that works for everyone. We sleep in, school starts at 10am, we break for lunch at 12-1pm and then we work until 5 or 6. I've gone back to the kitchen table and out of the classroom. So I'm able to prepare dinner and finish up school. I'm doing what works for me and still having fun. I wouldn't trade my time with the kids for anything!

[MomofSeven]

Would I be a nicer mom? Yea, somedays maybe. Would I be a better mom? No, not at all. God has definitely called me to the daily task of educating my dc. For how long? I have no idea. But I love the dependence it forces me to have on Him to provide the patience, love, encouragement, etc. that I need to deal with my kids.

 

I wish I did it gracefully each day. But each day has its moments where I'm pressed on each side. Still, on the days when I handle it in a Christ-like manner is a little victory for me.

 

I love that I'm the one who gets to instill knowlege and wisdom into my children and that I get to cheer them on in each little accomplishment.

 

I do wish for a few more "Hi mom, I'm home" moments. THere aren't many of those when your kids are with you all the time.

 

But I do get to snuggle up with them daily and read (yes, it's usually science or history) but I choose some pretty interesting books, so I don't feel that they're deprived. We still bake together, laugh while folding laundry, debate our favorite books, and sometimes fight over the "dumbest things". But it's all part of the experience to which we've been called.

[Marie in Oh]

I see my friends whose youngest children are now in school and they have time to work out and shop and clean house and have cookies ready when their kids come home. It seems nice, ideal, etc.

 

I was just having this conversation with a friend. She wondered if she was really accomplishing what she was hoping to while homeschooling when she just felt like she was frustrated so much. She actually thought she was ruining her kids.

 

I remember feeling that way when all the kids were preschoolers. I agree with many of the moms here that say it gets easier and I really think you as a mom grow in grace and learn to manage. They also see you fail and repent and try again. I think that strenthens relationships. If all they see is the perfect mom who has it all together when thy get home from school, they really don't see life.

 

It isn't an easy choice and you might be nicer but you would miss oh so much.

[Robyn]

When ds was in preschool and I was working part-time, I found there was an adjustment period for both of us each day. For me, I had to switch back into 'mom-mode' when I would pick him up. He would just be cranky and miserable for awhile after school. Granted, he was four and a lot has changed since then, but I notice this with my SIL too. I watch her two children a couple of days a week. They are wonderful all day. As soon as she walks in the door, the kids start whining and crying. She is often snappy with them for a bit. It's almost as if they are all having to readjust to each other. I'm not sure if I'm making any sense. I just know that for me, being a homeschooling mom makes me more in tune with the kids all the time. I don't have to switch rolls, and that seems to make the whole household run much smoother.

For others, that switching gears might be what they need. Maybe I'm just boring.;)

[Mandamom]

When I first started homeschooling (7 years ago or so) my dss was in the local public school and struggling socially and academically. He was reacting terribly to it and homework battles were absolutely terrible. It would take hours upon hours even though in reality it should have taken about 15 minutes at most. I was terribly stressed and was frequently disappointed when I'd find myself taking it out on the kids. I could feel my stress level rise about 2 hours before the bus would drop the kids off and by the time they would come in the house I was ready to explode (not that I ever did). As a result I looked into homeschooling.

 

After I convinced the parents (biomom and my dh) that homeschooling was worth the effort and dss was now home from school we became very close and we were all much happier.

 

Time progressed, life happened and homeschooling started to become very stressful to me and dss. Dss and I started becoming distanced and I could feel resentment toward me. As a result we looked into public school and again after he started, we all became much happier and closer because the resentment is gone.

 

In my circumstances the stresses that I was feeling whether kids were at home or in school was a sign that something wasn't working. Being able to switch from one to another allowed us to reduce the stress and change the relationship to something that is working better.

 

Currently, my dss is in a private school and doing wonderfully well. He's not living with us currently (life happened again) but our relationship is still very good.

[Rhonda in TX]

No. I'm a much nicer and fun mom now than when my kids were in school. It was very stressful getting everything squeezed into evenings and weekends. And the homework battles! Ugh. Nope. Don't miss those days at all.

[Rebecca in GA]

I have days when I feel like the worst mom in the world, but I have days that are so perfect I feel like I'm in a dream. The thing that keeps me hanging on is the knowledge that I know my children well because of all the time I spend with them, and I like them as people as well as loving them because they are my sons and daughter. I hope they feel the same way about me, despite my monster mom days! :o

[Karen in CO]

I have had my ds in ps and my dd at daycare and worked full-time. I was not any nicer or meaner, just busier. I now work 3 days a week and am at home 4 days a week. My dh and I tag team the kids. I enjoy being able to relax with my kids. I don't just have them for a rushed half hour in the morning and then try to catch up in the afternoons. No more dinners in the car on the way home from work and to sports. No more trying to convince my child that yes, he has to do all 50 of the math problems for homework even if he really knew how to do it already or that yes the assignment is dumb but he must do it anyway. No more trying to make up a week's work because he caught something at school and it went on without him. I always try to remember that home is the important part of homeschool and that it must work for everyone involved or it isn't the right answer.

[Diana in OR]

Katherine~

 

I feel the same as you. When I put my oldest in high school last fall, I definitely felt a bit of remorse, and admittedly a little bit of feeling sorry for myself for having failed. However, it was completely in his best interests and my feelings of failure were completely selfish. I am a much more relaxed mom than I had been. Having said that, I could not have put him in school earlier than that and felt the same way.

 

 

Also, just to encourage KIN, I think the elementary years can drive a mom crazy when her dc are in school. When you have little ones with nap schedules (the school day is not as long as you think ;) and pressure to volunteer in your dc class, and homework/busy work in the evenings, I see hsing as a better option.