mommyoftwinboys Posted December 20, 2009 Share Posted December 20, 2009 O.k. I'm going out on a limb to ask another question(even though I'm new and I know that's sometimes not o.k.) We are at a crossroads in a decision in our family and I'm curious what you would choose. We sold our home and are looking at possibilities. Our first choice is a custom built home at the end of a road with over 5 acres a of land. Our second choice is a nice, suburban home in a nice neighborhood with all the ammenities. The first choice is a 45 min commute for my husband. The second choice is a 15 min commute... Our hesitation is of course, giving up the land. With 5 acres the boys would have alot of space to roam. We would be free to have animals if we choose. It would be a dream home. The second home is very nice, in a very desirable neighborhood but on 1/3 of acre and most of the homes have families but both parents work so it's not like they would have playmates during the day. I don't know if there are many homeschoolers there. It is very convenient though.. Both homes are comparable in price. What would you do? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted December 20, 2009 Share Posted December 20, 2009 1st--be sure of the commute. Have dh drive it one morning at the same time he'd normally be going to work. (Just in case there's an extra 30 minutes of traffic you didn't know about.) If it's a true 45 minute commute, then I'd go for the house with the land. 45 minutes is just long enough. Any longer than that and it's too grueling. But 45 minutes is do-able. He can listen to books on tape or music or something and unwind from his day at work before he gets home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lynn Posted December 20, 2009 Share Posted December 20, 2009 I'd go with the land. Although I love my neighborhood, I've had enough of suburbia and would love to live life without the noise of diesel pick up trucks and harleys waking me up in the morning. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SandBeach Posted December 20, 2009 Share Posted December 20, 2009 I would choose the 5 acres. I live on 1/5 an acre and can see other people's TV shows through my windows. I am really starting to dislike living so close to other houses. The 5 acres sound great. Sandy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
athena1277 Posted December 20, 2009 Share Posted December 20, 2009 That is a tough one. Honestly, though, I would probably pick the one without the land. But that is just me. Currently my dh has a 45 min commute and it stinks. I would love for him to be closer because then we could join him for lunch once in a while like we used to before we moved. Also, 5 acres is a lot of land to maintain. Consider all the time it would take to maintain it. Those are the first pros/cons I thought of. Best of luck in making the best decision for your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ConnieB Posted December 20, 2009 Share Posted December 20, 2009 When we first moved to Arizona we lived in a rural area that had 1 grocery store, 1 movie theatre (1 show a week) and a lot of antique stores for the tourtist driving through on their way to snow country, lol. And that was about it. But we had 8 acres of useable land and another 4 acres of timberland. It was GLORIOUS to have all that space to spread out and run and explore and play. Not being able to hear or even really see our neighbors after decades of living in the suburbs with houses 20 feet apart was glorious! We moved in, settled in, and thought we'd made a great decision to get out of the city. Then reality started creeping in......it was an hour commute for my DH....both ways. That put his normal 9 or 10 days into the 11 or 12 hour days. Basically meant the kids barely saw him.....he left before they were awake and got home so late that I would have dinner literally waiting for him....so no playtime before dinner....and after dinner there was less than an hour before bedtime for the little ones. Not exactly quality time during the week....but the weekends were great because of all that land to run and chase and play ball, etc. Except when he had to mow all that land, lol...that was a half day job. And reality for the kids and I sunk in too......the local library had exactly one bookshelf (kid height and about 10 feet long) of children's books. So, we started buying books, but that got expensive, and of course with little kids you need zillions of books to read aloud to them, and while we love to re-read them, not all of them are worthy of keeping. So, we had to trek into town once a week to a decent library.....70 minutes away, each way. I combined that with trips to full service grocery stores (the one in town was a glorified market really), the bank (town had one bank with ridiculously high month fees no matter what your balance), the post office (we could leave stamped mail out for the postman to pick up, but you couldn't yet buy postage through the mail, or mail packages etc). And all the other errands that we used to do throughout the week, now had to be consolidated into one day. So it was a long day....audio books helped a lot of course, but kids just really don't want to do errands all day long and even the lunch time stop at the park to eat and run wasn't enough. And then there was the homeschool groups.....we lived on the land for almost 2 years and we never did find another homeschool family, let alone a group. There were two churches to choose from and one of them ran a school, but even the non-school one didn't have any homeschoolers. The in town ones were a long drive of course, and there wasn't always time to go on "errand day"....and of course to really be a part of a group you have to see them more than just once a week for a 2 hour park time. There wasn't much to do in town after you'd seen the one movie (which sadly was rarely kid appropriate since they had to go for "popular" which meant not G rated). There were a few nice restaurants for a night out, but dinner and home isn't very festive for birthdays and visitors, etc. So....we finally came to the conclusion that this wasn't for us with young kids...they need more opportunities...museums, science centers, art, plays, music concerts in the park, a decent library, and shopping (even though I'm not a big fan of just shopping to shop, having to drive an hour to get shoes was too much). And we moved back into town. We miss the land to run around in, but compensated by spending more time at the huge park just a mile away.....and if we wanted a change there were a dozen other big parks and lots of little ones all over town. Lots of culture and field trips to be had at the drop of a hat, rather than planned out to be fit into errand day. Friends that can drop in on us, and us on them, minutes after a phone call. Co-ops. And Daddy's commute is 20 minutes in bad traffic, so he's home an hour before normal dinner time, and there are a couple hours after dinner. And we can go have lunch with him occasionally. So....my story is really to remind you to weigh more than just playtime in the backyard and a commute to a job. Are there enough of the other essentials to keep you near home and not on the road every week just for the must-do-errands? Is there a homeschool community that you can join. You don't list the ages of your children, so this may not be applicable to you yet....but think ahead to all their ages and stages. We were lucky that when we finally decided to move we had no trouble selling....we had three offers the first week....all from folks wanting to retire away from city life! But....the economy has definitely changed and you may find it difficult to sell land over the next many years....so you may have to stay whether it's working for you or not. That small town has hardly grown in the seven years since we left....it's got a second grocery, and lost the movie house....otherwise it's pretty much the same. I miss some aspects of it....and we may just retire there some day....but I know we made the right choice for a growing family by moving closer to what we felt was important to give to our children. I know others on this board feel the chance to explore and run around outweigh the museums and such....and so it's definitely a decision based on family needs and preferences....but it's one that we hadn't thought through as completely as we would now. That 45 minute commute sounds small now....but daily for DH or weekly for you, may not be so small a year from now when you need a new car because you've racked up 30k on the old one, lol. If all things are equal....I'd take the land anyday. Good luck with your decision! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2squared Posted December 20, 2009 Share Posted December 20, 2009 It would depend....do you live in a winter climate? A 45 min commute in MN/SD can easily double during the winter. If it's a true 45 min commute, we would have a hard time turning down the acreage. But, we live on 5 acres, so I guess we're biased. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TravelingChris Posted December 20, 2009 Share Posted December 20, 2009 I would choose the house in suburbia with the amenities and the shorter commute. 1/3 acre is not that small and the extra hour a day from your husband and your kids father would make all the difference to me. You may very well be surprised about the kids in the neighborhood. My kids live in suburbia and have homeschooling friends a few blocks away in the same neighborhood. They also have many homeschooling friends living within a few miles. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2squared Posted December 20, 2009 Share Posted December 20, 2009 When we first moved to Arizona we lived in a rural area that had 1 grocery store, 1 movie theatre (1 show a week) and a lot of antique stores for the tourtist driving through on their way to snow country, lol. And that was about it. Then reality started creeping in......it was an hour commute for my DH....both ways. And reality for the kids and I sunk in too......the local library had exactly one bookshelf (kid height and about 10 feet long) of children's books. So, we had to trek into town once a week to a decent library.....70 minutes away, each way. I combined that with trips to full service grocery stores (the one in town was a glorified market really), the bank (town had one bank with ridiculously high month fees no matter what your balance), the post office (we could leave stamped mail out for the postman to pick up, but you couldn't yet buy postage through the mail, or mail packages etc). And all the other errands that we used to do throughout the week, now had to be consolidated into one day. So it was a long day....audio books helped a lot of course, but kids just really don't want to do errands all day long and even the lunch time stop at the park to eat and run wasn't enough. And then there was the homeschool groups.....we lived on the land for almost 2 years and we never did find another homeschool family, let alone a group. There were a few nice restaurants for a night out, but dinner and home isn't very festive for birthdays and visitors, etc. This sounds a lot like our life, except we love it!! Our extremely rural town has a small grocery store, one movie theater, and a quaint library. We are the only homeschooling family in town with young children. The two others in the area have high schoolers. The only stoplight in the county is five miles out of town in the middle of a cornfield, and we drive an hour to get to a big city of about 10,000 people. We live on 5 mature acres just outside of our TinyTown. The only difference is that we love where we live. We don't have all the big city amenities available, but we have other things that are so much more (for us). It's like stepping back into the 50's. I love being able to run into our grocery store (and the other shops on main street) and leave my kids in a running van outside. I love that everyone knows us, and they know my kids. My kids are more than safe with all those eyes spying on them!!! We don't have other homeschoolers around, and I do miss that. But, we have found public schooled kids to be wonderful friends. We have at least one playdate every week, and the other parents are great about transporting their kids. Since we all live in a rural area, we all realize that we must drive. My kids even participate in public school events (our public school is tiny - only 25 kids/grade). They go on all the public school field trips, parties, and special events. Last month they rode school buses to watch a Dr Suess play, and sometimes my kids go in for lunch and recess. All that to say, rural living has many, many advantages. City living has many, many advantages. It all depends on what you want for your family. We love the slow-paced, community-centered life in our TinyTown. We were out of our element when we lived in San Antonio. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catherine Posted December 20, 2009 Share Posted December 20, 2009 I was terribly lonely and bored as a kid. Farm life is wonderful for kids, but it's also constant work, and little play. I happily left it behind for my 1\3 acre and have never looked back. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quiver0f10 Posted December 20, 2009 Share Posted December 20, 2009 I'd go for the land. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommyoftwinboys Posted December 20, 2009 Author Share Posted December 20, 2009 We live in the SE so no bad winters. It would be a true 45 minute commute and my children are 8 years old. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudoMom Posted December 20, 2009 Share Posted December 20, 2009 I would choose the house in suburbia with the amenities and the shorter commute. 1/3 acre is not that small and the extra hour a day from your husband and your kids father would make all the difference to me. You may very well be surprised about the kids in the neighborhood. My kids live in suburbia and have homeschooling friends a few blocks away in the same neighborhood. They also have many homeschooling friends living within a few miles. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krista in LA Posted December 20, 2009 Share Posted December 20, 2009 I'd take the short commute. Dh and I have both had jobs with varying lengths of commute and it always seems like the shorter the commute, the happier we all are. Right now he works from home when he isn't traveling. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie Posted December 20, 2009 Share Posted December 20, 2009 If the 15 minutes from the suburban house includes traffic, I would go for that one. I think the extra time is priceless. Plus, if you have the acreage, would your husband be the one doing most of the upkeep? I know I would be missing my DH after a few weekends of him working outside all day plus spending the extra time on the road during the week. I will admit that it would be hard to give up the land! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoughCollie Posted December 20, 2009 Share Posted December 20, 2009 I'd go with the house with the short commute. My husband used to commute 45 min to work, and with traffic, he was often on the road for an hour or more each way. He got home too late to see the kids and left in the morning before they got up. Plus, after putting in a long day at work, he was really tired when he finally got home. I think 7.5 hours per week is too long a commute. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted December 20, 2009 Share Posted December 20, 2009 I'd choose the suburbs. But then I'm more of a suburban gal. I like the convenience of a grocery store not too far away. I like having my dh more more in the evenings because he's not spending it in traffic (though our area has so much traffic that he does spend enough time in it). I like having neighbors and neighborhood children for my children to play with. I like having parks to play in. Now our suburb is right next to a green-space with walking trails so my kids can go run wild in the woods some of the time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted December 20, 2009 Share Posted December 20, 2009 I'm all about the third alternative. THat's how we solve many dilemmas around here--one kid will want to do one thing, another something else, so we look for a third alternative. That said, I currently live on 40 acres of church land with a cemetery and woods. We moved when our boys were 9 and 11, from a wonderful suburban part of Dallas. It was incredibly difficult for my boys. No playmates, lots of land that my boys did NOT want to explore--I thought for sure they'd love the woods, but the trees are unclimbable because the branches don't start for about 50 feet. The commute can't be beat--dh just walks, but he is too busy with his job, regardless of the commute. Anyway, I wish you good discernment in choosing. There are trade-offs with everything! One little thing--if your husband can unwind in the car and be "ready to go" when he comes home after a 45 min commute, that could mean he's just as available as if he had a 15 min commute but needed half an hour to unwind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted December 20, 2009 Share Posted December 20, 2009 1st--be sure of the commute. Have dh drive it one morning at the same time he'd normally be going to work. (Just in case there's an extra 30 minutes of traffic you didn't know about.) :iagree:And does he have to make up snow days or get dinged? Are his hours 9-5 for does he have to do 10 hour days plus the commute. Can you afford TWO reliable cars, can his back stand the sitting. If I had all my druthers, I'd live near his work in something modest, and build a weekend cabin on the property. Something you could leave rustic, and on property (nature-owned) that didn't need mowing and watering and trimming. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TxMama Posted December 20, 2009 Share Posted December 20, 2009 I'd chose the shorter commute. I wouldn't want to drive 45 min to and from work and neither would my dh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie in Austin Posted December 20, 2009 Share Posted December 20, 2009 (edited) I'd go for the 'burbs. An hour of Dad every day is more important to children than room to roam, in my opinion. Next issue: Can you afford the commute if gas is $5/gallon? Next issue: Amenities. Next issue: Your time. I'd go nuts driving my kids to activities, shopping, etc. that far away. Edited December 20, 2009 by Julie in Austin fix typo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AngieW in Texas Posted December 20, 2009 Share Posted December 20, 2009 We've had both of your houses. The first home we bought was on 5 acres. Our commute (before kids, so we were both working) was 45 minutes. We loved it. Even after having kids, we still loved it. The problems came when the kids were old enough for activities. While we could get to most things within 30 minutes, everything was at least 20 minutes away. The only secular hs group was 45 minutes away. We never ended up making many connections in the group. Our 2nd house was just 5 minutes from our first house, but was on 2 acres instead of 5 and in an actual neighborhood. What we didn't know was that there were only 2 other kids anywhere close to the ages of our kids in the entire neighborhood. When we moved to another city, our choices were acreage 1-1.5 hours away or suburbs 30 minutes away. We chose the suburbs this time. It was weird to be on a city lot. What's nice is that nearly everything we do is within 10 minutes of home. We enjoy being in a regular neighborhood now. I do look back fondly on the land we used to have, but it was a lot of work and all the work fell on me. If we could have had land and still been within 30 minutes, it would be worth it to have land, but land that close is too expensive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peri Posted December 20, 2009 Share Posted December 20, 2009 I would go with the first choice. We just moved into a house that is on a 5 acre lot after living in a nice sububan home and I have to tell you that there is just no comparison. In the other house I had to keep an eye on my kids when they went out because of the other kids in the neighborhood. Here, they can just go out and explore. All my two little ones did this past summer was go outside and explore.m It was soooo much fun for then cause they saw all kinds of things like baby frogs, baby lizards, turkeys, and deer. The house we live in right now is a little bit bigger than the other house but it is also older than the other house. I on't regret moving here one bit and I have told DH that this is the house that me and him would grow old in. This house is also farther from his job than the other house was but we still have no regrets moving here. It is all worth it when we get to be around so much nature. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melinda in VT Posted December 20, 2009 Share Posted December 20, 2009 I'd go for the extra time with Dad. Hands down. Another thing to consider is how long you are planning to stay there. Once kids get to be teens, I think it's important for them to be able to have a little freedom. Ideally, they'd be able to safely walk or bike to a corner store or the library or a park or the pool, etc. Not all suburbs allow for that, but you have a better chance than with rural areas. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
springmama Posted December 20, 2009 Share Posted December 20, 2009 For us, it's more important to love our home than for my dh to be close to work. We have always lived in places we love even though my dh has always had at least an hour commute to work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suzanne in ABQ Posted December 20, 2009 Share Posted December 20, 2009 O.k. I'm going out on a limb to ask another question(even though I'm new and I know that's sometimes not o.k.) What would you do? First, of course it's okay for you to ask questions. Whoever gave you the idea that it's not okay for newbies to ask questions needs to spank themselves. We're a support community! We exist to support each other on this journey. Then, to get to your question, is there any third option? Perhaps 2.5 acres a little closer to town? We live 15 miles from the city, and about 6 miles from our closest little community. About 9 miles from the closest branch of the county library system. It's ideal for us because we have local community centers and a fitness center that offer kids classes like dance and karate. The library is a county/city library, so we have access to all the books in the county (just have to wait a few days for them to be delivered to our library). We have a small supermarket in the little town, and a large supermarket at the edge of the city. It takes 20-30 minutes to drive to most of the doctors, stores, and homes we visit. Dh needs 30 minutes to get to work. We have 2 1/2 acres, which backs up to another 5 acres of vacant land. My kids hardly ever make use of it. They've explored, and dug holes, and watched bugs. But, now, they hardly ever go out there. They'd rather read, or do crafts, or play guitar, or occasionally watch TV. They're just not outdoorsy types. To be honest, I'm not either. I try to garden, but I forget to tend it. I have very limited free time, and the things that occupy that time are indoor activities. I love living out here, but we do a tremendous amount of driving. We have three cars, which most people would consider extravagant. But, we've needed that third car several times this year because one or the other of our main cars has had to go to the shop for repairs. Anyway, there's a lot to consider when choosing to live in the country. I have a friend who lives further out than we do. She hardly ever goes to the city -- maybe only once a month. I usually go two or three times a week. I have other friends out her who go in twice a day to take and pick up their kids from private school. It really just depends on your lifestyle, activities, and needs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prairie rose Posted December 20, 2009 Share Posted December 20, 2009 We are in the midst of making the same kind of choice. My dh doesn't mind a bit of a commute but if he has to drive 45 minutes to work, that means I also have to drive 30 - 45 minutes to get to activities, playdates, parkdays, museums, the zoo, shopping beyond just small mom and pop grocery stores, doctor's appointments, urgent care, gas, the library and anything else I want to do. We are trying to find something that is no more than about 20 - 30 minutes, which would turn into 45 - 60 minutes of commute time in bad weather (rain, sleet or snow in our area). That way we have time with dad and we don't have to drive almost an hour to get to the amenities in town. As for the land, I think that's a kinda personal preference thing. If you know you would enjoy using the land and enjoy doing the maintainence on the land, it could be a dream property. If dh's weekends at home are going to be eaten up with the maintainence, you might want to consider the smaller property. But if taking care of the land is your idea of a fun family activity that you can all do together, again it could be your dream property. Those are the things I would consider. YMMV. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommyoftwinboys Posted December 20, 2009 Author Share Posted December 20, 2009 Thank you all for responding so far. I did want to clarify thought that while the 5 acres in far from my husband's job(45 min commute) it's about 4 minutes from a small town that has a library(a great county library system so we can get any book we just might have to wait a couple of days) a grocery store, and some shops. A bigger town is about 15 minutes away(this is the town we just moved from) and has a large homeschool group with lots of activities. So, basically, my commute for activities would be about 15 minutes. It's my husband's commute that has me worried and concerned. The house we were building also has a homeschooling family that lives next door with children that are the same ages as my boys. So, with that added...which would you choose? (-: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melinda in VT Posted December 20, 2009 Share Posted December 20, 2009 Thank you all for responding so far. I did want to clarify thought that while the 5 acres in far from my husband's job(45 min commute) it's about 4 minutes from a small town that has a library(a great county library system so we can get any book we just might have to wait a couple of days) a grocery store, and some shops. A bigger town is about 15 minutes away(this is the town we just moved from) and has a large homeschool group with lots of activities. So, basically, my commute for activities would be about 15 minutes. It's my husband's commute that has me worried and concerned. The house we were building also has a homeschooling family that lives next door with children that are the same ages as my boys. So, with that added...which would you choose? (-: What does your DH think? Has he done a 45 minute commute since you've had kids? I think the person doing the commuting gets the final say in situations like this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suzanne in ABQ Posted December 20, 2009 Share Posted December 20, 2009 Thank you all for responding so far. I did want to clarify thought that while the 5 acres in far from my husband's job(45 min commute) it's about 4 minutes from a small town that has a library(a great county library system so we can get any book we just might have to wait a couple of days) a grocery store, and some shops. A bigger town is about 15 minutes away(this is the town we just moved from) and has a large homeschool group with lots of activities. So, basically, my commute for activities would be about 15 minutes. It's my husband's commute that has me worried and concerned. The house we were building also has a homeschooling family that lives next door with children that are the same ages as my boys. So, with that added...which would you choose? (-: Well, then I would consider the length of dh's workday. We have lived in lots of different places, and dh has had different work situations (military life). Our worst situation was when dh worked 12 hour days, and had 75 mile commute each way, through Los Angeles traffic. He left at 5 in the morning, and got home at 8:30 at night. He would come in the house, eat a sandwich, and go to bed at 9:00. It was awful. I wouldn't wish that life on anyone. If your dh works late, then his home commute would really cut into the evening family time. However, if he can get off early enough to get home for a late-ish family meal, even after a 45 minute commute, then I would opt for the country life. Also, it would depend on whether the drive home would stress him out, or calm him. When we lived in town, dh would arrive home stressed from the day of working, and the drive home through traffic. He'd need some down time to de-stress. Now, after his 30 minute drive, mostly through country roads, he's de-stressed by the time he gets home, and is ready for family time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LND1218 Posted December 20, 2009 Share Posted December 20, 2009 Thank you all for responding so far. I did want to clarify thought that while the 5 acres in far from my husband's job(45 min commute) it's about 4 minutes from a small town that has a library(a great county library system so we can get any book we just might have to wait a couple of days) a grocery store, and some shops. A bigger town is about 15 minutes away(this is the town we just moved from) and has a large homeschool group with lots of activities. So, basically, my commute for activities would be about 15 minutes. It's my husband's commute that has me worried and concerned. The house we were building also has a homeschooling family that lives next door with children that are the same ages as my boys. So, with that added...which would you choose? (-: I would ask your dh. If he's okay with the drive, I would go with the land. We have 10 acres and love it. My kids love it. We don't do a lot with it, so it cuts down the time. It does take time to take care of land. You have to evaluate the location and things available which is sounds like you have done. We choose our location carefully. We have friends who moved to the middle of nowhere just to get land. There nothing anywhere near them. Well they hated it and moved back to a neigborhood, and they say the would never live on land again. Well I never would have bought the land they did. I don't know what they were thinking.... We bought land 30 minutes from the big town we lived in but with a small town 2 miles away. We did it for dh - he hated the burbs. So he is happy here - he doesn't mind the drive to work. But the drive isn't in traffic - it's country roads not highway. And my dh loves to drive. So he's happy. When gas prices spiked, we bought a cheap commuter car that gets 40mpg. By cheap I mean $500. Dh has been driving that for 5 years now - he's been making the commute to work for almost 10 years. And it doesn't bother him at all. But he is also the one who wants to live out here. I like being in the city - I love being here because we have this quaint little town where I can anything I need. Our land is beautiful. And this location put us a lot closer to a real city not just the town we were in before. So I am closer to the museums, airport and all. So look at your life and how the move effect you, but an extra hour a day in drive time wouldn't bother my dh at all. Doesn't bother me and the kids either. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jujsky Posted December 20, 2009 Share Posted December 20, 2009 I would go for the suburban home with the short commute. If you want a home out there with lots of land, you can always do that in the future after the kids are grown. Land is nice, but given the choice, I'd rather be in a suburban setting close to activities. My husband has also done the long-commute thing a couple times in the past, and it takes a toll on the family. I know you said that in the suburban neighborhood most of the parents work and the kids go to school so your kids wouldn't have neighborhood friends during the day. They're not going to have neighborhood friends in the country either. On top of that, you're sacrificing time with DH, so they'll actually be around other people less out there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LatinLover Posted December 20, 2009 Share Posted December 20, 2009 Are you an extrovert or an introvert? Please take that into consideration, because while acreage sounds nice in theory, it can be very isolating....btdt! Good luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NoPlaceLikeHome Posted December 20, 2009 Share Posted December 20, 2009 I'd go for the 'burbs. An hour of Dad every day is more important to children than room to roam, in my opinion. Next issue: Can you afford the commute if gas is $5/gallon? Next issue: Amenities. Next issue: Your time. I'd go nuts driving my kids to activities, shopping, etc. that far away. :iagree: I would want to be closer to amenities and not have a farther away commute. Plus I have heard nightmares about building your own home even though I am sure there are good stories as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigMamaBird Posted December 20, 2009 Share Posted December 20, 2009 I'd choose the land. Living in a neighborhood is great, but nothing compares to having room to stretch out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted December 20, 2009 Share Posted December 20, 2009 We're praying to be on an acreage this time next year. It really depends on what it is you want. For us, our intention is to get to the point where the land is supporting us foodwise, and then for Wolf to be able to just work the acreage. So that way, there would be no commute, and the time with Daddy would be all the time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrsrevmeg Posted December 20, 2009 Share Posted December 20, 2009 I live in a rural area with lots of land. I would LOVE to have neighbors. My husband works 12 hour shifts, so if he had longer commutes than what he already has (20 minutes) I think I'd be pulling my hair out some days. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted December 20, 2009 Share Posted December 20, 2009 (edited) I'm editing because I just saw your later post in the thread. I guess my question with your dh's commute is-how long are you planning on staying in this house and how long is he planning on staying at this job? We're military. My hubby has long days. We considered moving for our last year here because his 20 minute commute sometimes turns to an hour commute if traffic gets backed up. But, we only have a year left. Imagining a job he's planning on staying at for 20 year and a house we'd be staying in for 20 years isn't something I can imagine. I'd think a lot harder on the decision in that case than if it were only for a few years. Edited December 20, 2009 by Mrs Mungo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prairie rose Posted December 20, 2009 Share Posted December 20, 2009 Personally, I would still go for less land closer to dh's work. But that's because I know it would be the better choice for our family. A note of having homeschoolers for neighbors. I've had it both ways, a neighborhood with lots of homeschoolers and a neighborhood with no homeschoolers. I wouldn't let the fact that homeschoolers are nearby sway my decision one way or the other. It was a blessing at times to have kids around to play with during the day and other homeschoolers nearby to talk to and other times it was a curse because we didn't always homeschool on the same schedule as they did so sometimes, they would want to play while we were trying to school and sometimes we would want to play and accidentally interupt their schooling. And just because they are homeschoolers, doesn't guarantee that we'd get along. Also, there is nothing that says they could have some life changes and suddenly send their kids off to school. You just never know what the future holds. So while I would consider it a plus I wouldn't use it as a reason for or against a certain house. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommyoftwinboys Posted December 20, 2009 Author Share Posted December 20, 2009 Mrs. Mungo-we are planning on this be the last home we own until the children are grown. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted December 20, 2009 Share Posted December 20, 2009 We live on the outskirts of town on two acres (boardering woods and protected areas) with chickens, dogs, cats, a barn etc. My dh works at home often, but his job takes him across the country a couple of times a month. We can walk to a wonderful library, and farmer's market (in summer). We are close to what we need to be close it. It's not country-boonies. My kids don't want to move. :D Currently, we are snowed in and we like it. The plow hasn't come by yet. The kids did have to shovvel out a path to the barn to feed the animals this morning, but they came in with funny stories of the dogs romping in their way. We moved here nearly 4 years ago and won't go back to suburbia any time soon. Nobody sprays chemicals on their lawns here, for one, and we're close enough to 'stuff'. We also can't have a horse or goat in the suburbs. ;) Which is on our future animal agenda. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TammyinTN Posted December 20, 2009 Share Posted December 20, 2009 O.k. I'm going out on a limb to ask another question(even though I'm new and I know that's sometimes not o.k.)We are at a crossroads in a decision in our family and I'm curious what you would choose. We sold our home and are looking at possibilities. Our first choice is a custom built home at the end of a road with over 5 acres a of land. Our second choice is a nice, suburban home in a nice neighborhood with all the ammenities. The first choice is a 45 min commute for my husband. The second choice is a 15 min commute... Our hesitation is of course, giving up the land. With 5 acres the boys would have alot of space to roam. We would be free to have animals if we choose. It would be a dream home. The second home is very nice, in a very desirable neighborhood but on 1/3 of acre and most of the homes have families but both parents work so it's not like they would have playmates during the day. I don't know if there are many homeschoolers there. It is very convenient though.. Both homes are comparable in price. What would you do? We have been having this same discussion about our future. We will want land and lots of it. Boys need space to shot, roam and explore. That's the direction were headed in 2 years (retirement) with a new career. Having a long commute has never really factored into our decision because we've always had long commutes. We would go for the dream house. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted December 20, 2009 Share Posted December 20, 2009 We have been having this same discussion about our future. We will want land and lots of it. Boys need space to shot, roam and explore. That's the direction were headed in 2 years (retirement) with a new career. Having a long commute has never really factored into our decision because we've always had long commutes. We would go for the dream house. WHile my dh isn't military, his speciality is something few people anywhere do. He's always had to travel to sites, and his company offices have always been in costly cities; LA, Boston, Manhattan, San Fransisco etc. I think a lot of folks are used to commuting, even if it's not ideal. A 45 min commute is nothing to us. In fact, that's when audio books come in handy. Or Sports Talk radio. ;) My dh does miss his old company's company Prius, I have to say. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
homeschoolally Posted December 20, 2009 Share Posted December 20, 2009 I would choose the 5 acres. I live on 1/5 an acre and can see other people's TV shows through my windows. I am really starting to dislike living so close to other houses. The 5 acres sound great. Sandy :iagree:We have had so many hassles due to living in neighborhoods over the years. If we could get a place with 5 acres we'd jump on the opportunity. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terabith Posted December 20, 2009 Share Posted December 20, 2009 Well, I'm not a big land person, so I would definitely choose the suburbia one with more time with dad. But, honestly, I think Dad is the one who has to make that call, since he is the one commuting. If it is at ALL longer (winter weather, traffic), then it isn't really doable. Be sure to check at the time of day both going and coming back. I would also want to know what the rest of the community is like in the area with land. Is it 45 minutes for you guys to go to the library, church, friends houses? We like to be out and about, so that's a big deal for us. 1/3 of an acre is not tiny. But, it really depends on your priorities. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosy Posted December 20, 2009 Share Posted December 20, 2009 We had to make a similar choice recently, only our scenarios were: 1) .4 acres in a nice neighborhood with lake access and a 30 min. commute, and 2) standard city lot in an ok but not great neighborhood with good friends nearby and a 10-15 min. commute. We chose door #1 because DH was insistent that he loved where he lived and was happy to come home in the evening. I had a really hard time giving up the idea of being near our friends, our church and our co-op, but in the end it was the right decision for us. And really, living in the suburbs there can be more traffic than one would think around rush hour and Saturday afternoons. That said, for me it would depend on what your DH wanted and what his work schedule was. I wouldn't be ok with a commute that had my DH regularly unable to see the kids in the morning or evening. But if he could get home in time for a later family dinner, and he didn't mind the commute, I would go for the first one. Well, not me personally, I'm not a 5 acre kind of girl. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momof165 Posted December 20, 2009 Share Posted December 20, 2009 I guess, I am biased because we have lived both ways and I just can't get used to the suburban way of living. We moved into a different state and had to give up our dream house with about 2.5 acres. All of us were so happy there despite the commute for dh (about 45 min in the summer, could be an hour or longer in the winter), no library in town, our grocery store was more a convenient store and the next town with about 3,000 people was about 30 min away. No homeschooling families either - just us! Despite of all of this - we LOVED IT. Just last week my ds 10 told me how he misses to ride the tractor, have "his animals", explore the "woods", ride a horse, etc. Right now, we are living in a very desirable suburban neighborhood as well - but gosh, I just miss the country. On top, dh has lost his job in August and it doesn't look like he is getting one soon. If we were still living in our old house, at least we wouldn't have to worry about food (our garden, fruit trees, and the chickens took care of a lot we needed) or loosing our home. Those 5 acres just sound like a dream! :D Sonja in CO Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PinkInTheBlue Posted December 20, 2009 Share Posted December 20, 2009 Well, I'm sure I'm the oddball but I don't want/need land. Our house is on the outside of a curve in a neighborhood so our land is actually right at an acre. It's almost too much but much of the middle is under two big trees, so it's a more "natural" area. We don't want that much to take care of. :) I wouldn't want my husband to have nearly 2 HOURS of commuting every day. His job would already have him gone from 8 to 5 and the commute would mean he barely sees his family until the weekends. 15 minute commute would be too valuable to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted December 20, 2009 Share Posted December 20, 2009 (edited) I don't know what your dh's job is, or what daddy time looks like now for you, but one thing that comes from some jobs is the ability to work at home sometimes or frequently (not sure this is a possibility at all for you) and to take the family with you when you travel. There is more to a job than a commute. Sometimes the 'hidden' benefits need to be considered. My dh has a certain freedom to include us in his work life. We've gone on many trips with him all over the country. So we get him when he is working in interesting places, (at least in the evening for dinner and bedtime) then we get him when he is on vacation, and we often stay home as we've already been away. The hotel rooms are free (and quite a bit nicer than what we'd pay for ourselves) and the flying is mostly free due to frequent flyer miles. The kids also know that if Dad is away for a few days, he's home for few days after that. All this to say, consider the whole picture. Edited December 20, 2009 by LibraryLover Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amber in AUS Posted December 20, 2009 Share Posted December 20, 2009 I have not read through all of the responses, but i would pick the closer to work one. I LOVE the land that we have, but i seriously resent the 2hours of driving time my DH has per day. It takes so much away from our family time. What we could do on a daily basis with 1 1/2hours of extra Daddy time! You also need to factor construction time into the equation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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