Crimson Wife Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 After reading the other thread with the mommies who've nursed well past toddlerhood, I'm curious as to how your DH's feel about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joannqn Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 I nursed my first until her 3rd birthday. I had been tandem nursing for a year and dealing with severe depression, and my doctor asked me to consider weaning my oldest. I weaned my other two around the age of two because I go on 4 day retreats twice a year. I'm allowed to bring my baby until they are two, so the retreat that falls about a month before or the first one after their second birthday is a good time to wean since I'm already gone for 4 days. I just don't offer when I get back, and they never asked. DH has always supported everything...natural birth (including home birth), extended breastfeeding, co-sleeping, not vaccinating, and home schooling. Actually, to say he supports it isn't accurate, he advocates these things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 My dd didn't nurse past toddler-hood, but if she had, Mr. Ellie would have been completely supportive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 (edited) Totally supportive from the get-go. He knew me well. lol He's also really trusting of kid needs. He never thought that his little babies were anything less than perect. ;) Therefore he never considered that there was anything wrong with his kidlets wanting to nurse past infancy. He never raised an eyebrow ever. He's a geekola anyway. Edited December 17, 2009 by LibraryLover Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristusG Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 DH does sometimes ask "when are you going to stop nursing her?" But he does not push it or anything. So he's pretty supportive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eternalknot Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 Mine didn't really care either way. He wasn't enthusiastic, but he never pressured me to wean either - even though nursing a 4+ year old meant limited visitation with her when he was living out of state (for 3 years). He's supportive in the sense that even if he disagrees with me, he trusts me as a parent to do what I feel is right by our kids. I raise my kids the way I was raised, and we both agree that of our two families mine is the preferred model. It was sort of an extention of my pregnancy and labor (to him); it was just my show to run as I saw fit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mama2cntrykids Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 I voted "somewhat supportive". He's actually fine with it. He just always said that when we quit was fine with him. Occasionally he question me on when I would stop, but no guilt or pressure. My youngest was weaned at 27 months btw. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
patchfire Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 Actually, to say he supports it isn't accurate, he advocates these things. :iagree: Dh will initiate a conversation about birth and breastfeeding with just about anyone. I do remind him not to be too pushy, but I also think it's great. Most dads could use more support so they can support the mamas! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coleroo Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 My DH was not supportive of breastfeeding before we had the baby. He was a quite weirded out by it and had never even known anyone who really breastfed (He was 24 when our first was born). It took a lot to get past the "sexual objectification" of the breast. When the baby arrived, he warmed up to the idea over the first few days. He supported me in that he knew I wanted to do what I felt was best for the baby. He never questioned me on when I would stop or anything (weaned DS between 16 and 17 months), and never said anything negative about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matryoshka Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 Define extended bfing, lol... To some it means past 6 months, or maybe a year. My longest nursling weaned at 23 months, and compared to how long most of my friends nursed, that was really early! Are you talking past a year or past two, or three or more? My dh never batted an eye at my nursing my kids as long as I did, nor at all those friends who nursed even longer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crimson Wife Posted December 17, 2009 Author Share Posted December 17, 2009 Are you talking past a year or past two, or three or more? I guess I think of extended BF as well past 2 years. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawn in OH Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 I voted somewhat supportive. When Owen was about 17 months old he asked when we were going to stop. He was the only baby that I nursed beyond 1 year. That was early winter, and I wanted to stick with it through cold and flu season. I'm glad I did too. That January, everyone in our family, except Owen, got the flu. And he even kissed, snuggled and slept me with me through the whole thing. My husband understood my reasoning and was supportive. He continued to be supportive, occasionally asking when I was going to stop, up until we finally stopped. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IsabelC Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 My dh would never advocate early weaning (ie before 24 months), and even if he did I think he would understand that it is not up to him ;) So I'd say he is supportive if dd decides to breastfeed for 3 or 4 years. However I can imagine that if she is still breastfeeding at 7 or 8 years of age, he might start hinting that it's getting time to encourage other interests:lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 My dh asked occasionally with our first, but wouldn't have dreamed of trying to dictate and thinks guys who do are immature. He's looking forward to this phase being over though :) Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newlifemom Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 I think mine would support extended, but I couldn't. :tongue_smilie: I just did a year with each. Dh totally supported what I did, however he was always happy when I weaned. I'm not comfortable with duel purpose. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tdeveson Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 Totally supportive. He wouldn't have it any other way. I had trouble breastfeeding the second, but he was completely on board. He wants the best for his kids and he knows formula is not it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie Laurie Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 My dh is 100% supportive of bfing and extended bfing. Weaning is completely up to me and baby, dh doesn't care how long. Once dh had some kind of eye infection and after several applications of breastmilk, his eye was all better by the next day. From red and swollen and sore to all better- he thinks breastmilk is quite miraculous and beneficial. So he's happy that the kids get it for a long time, as long as it's still working for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SABE Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 Dh has been 100% supportive of extended breastfeeding with all 4 of our children. It was a real struggle at the beginning to establish a good nursing relationship with my oldest, and I think I would have given up within the first couple of weeks without dh's encouragement. Instead, we made it 3 years! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hsmamainva Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 I'm a retired LaLeche League Leader and my hubby is 100% supportive of breastfeeding, extended nursing, and child-led weaning. It's funny.....I've heard him give nursing advice to friends and family members on numerous occasions (when asked, of course). Everyone's just tickled that he knows so much about it. He tells me that he listened to me give advice in person and over the phone for years...he just paid attention, too! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amy g. Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 I said somewhat supportive. I nursed Miss Bossy for 30 months. I know that's not considered extended, but Dh did start asking if I was ever going to wean her. I think he will be more supportive of my nursing the new baby longer, because he was just commenting this morning on how Miss Bossy never had an ear infection, and never gets sick at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Atl Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 100%... And he put up with all those years I was a LLLL, now that's dedication. Nothing like receiving a call at 2am from a frantic dad, crying wife and screaming baby. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lionfamily1999 Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 Dh is in the mildly creeped out, but as long as it's private and not for the wrong reasons, fine catergory (iow, other). It would make him terribly uncomfortable to see anyone nursing an older child and part of him thinks there's something wierd about it, but at the same time, he figures it's none of his business. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KidsHappen Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 My hubby was extremely supportive and I bfed the last one 3 and a half years. My son is admament that his wife will breastfed and all of dds are planning to breastfeed as well. We are a pro breast feeding family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoyfulMama Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 My DH was definately not on board with breastfeeding our first. But he had also known NO ONE who had not used formula. He envisioned holding his children and feeding them with a bottle. However, he did come around and was completely supportive with our second and third. He never put any limits on the nursing - but I know he was more supportive knowing that I was discreet - at least when he was around us in public. ;) We just didn't tell his family that the kids were nursing past a year, and kept the peace that way, too. My family didn't seem to care, and my mom learned a lot through me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirty ethel rackham Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 Dh was on the same journey as me. We both were a little weirded out by the though of bf-ing into toddlerhood. However, our views evolved with our children's needs. He is totally supportive. He has even extolled the virtues to his secretary and other women at work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lionfamily1999 Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 Dh was on the same journey as me. We both were a little weirded out by the though of bf-ing into toddlerhood. However, our views evolved with our children's needs. He is totally supportive. He has even extolled the virtues to his secretary and other women at work. I was almost scared to admit that. I know how strongly you support bfing, thank you for making it okay to be a little wierded out :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penelope Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 I'm not sure what you all consider "extended". I consider toddlerhood til about age 3, so for that definition I didn't nurse past toddlerhood. DH is fine with it and knows all the reasons, including health reasons, that it's a good idea. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bluemongoose Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 My DH was an extended bfer. He bf until almost 5yo. He was shamed by other people who knew about it. He remembers bfing and liking it, but also feeling ashamed because people said he was a big boy etc and should not be bfing. He is ok with somewhat extended bfing...to like age 3 at max. He encourages me to bf until age 2. But after they get to an age where they will remember and other people will make comments, he is no longer comfortable with it. He doesnt want our kids to feel like he did about it. In general he is VERY supportive of bfing and does everything he can do to help me in that area. Getting water for me to drink, giving me quiet time, encouraging me to relax and eat well etc. (I never was never BF and my family all think it is weird, so his support is very important to me!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 100%... And he put up with all those years I was a LLLL, now that's dedication. Nothing like receiving a call at 2am from a frantic dad, crying wife and screaming baby. :iagree: Dh is in the mildly creeped out, but as long as it's private and not for the wrong reasons, fine catergory (iow, other). What could that even possibly mean? I don't think I even want to know what that's supposed to mean. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amyable Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 Dh was on the same journey as me. We both were a little weirded out by the though of bf-ing into toddlerhood. However, our views evolved with our children's needs. He is totally supportive. He has even extolled the virtues to his secretary and other women at work. Same here, except for the work part. People at dh's work already say nasty things to him about us having 5 children, so he doesn't share anything as "out there" ;) as extended nursing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 I wasn't physically able to nurse past 6mths, but dh is very supportive of friends who have nursed longer so I doubt he would have blinked an eye. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LittleIzumi Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 At first he said no way in public after age 2, and at home if I wanted to but it would be weeeeeird. Now that dd IS 2, it's not even an issue. She bfs wherever she is with zero complaints (and some vocal support) from dh. Because now it's not some imaginary 2-year-old. It's just wee little dd who loves nursing :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lionfamily1999 Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 What could that even possibly mean? I don't think I even want to know what that's supposed to mean. Maybe dh and I are the only ones on earth that think that sort of physical connection between an adult and child could be abused? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 Maybe dh and I are the only ones on earth that think that sort of physical connection between an adult and child could be abused? Wow. I have no response to that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lionfamily1999 Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 Wow. I have no response to that. Why even single me out? Why even ask? What, exactly, was your intention? It seems rather apparent it was not curiousity, and it appears it was just to point and scoff. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 Why even single me out? Why even ask? What, exactly, was your intention? It seems rather apparent it was not curiousity, and it appears it was just to point and scoff. Scoff? I am seriously shocked that anyone would imply a mom would breastfeed for her own personal gratification. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Punks in Ontario Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 I haven't nursed past 2 yo, but I did find that eventually dh got a bit frustrated with a baby snuggled in between us every morning. He kind of got in the way of our morning teA. Other than that, he didn't mind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tracey in TX Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 After reading the other thread with the mommies who've nursed well past toddlerhood, I'm curious as to how your DH's feel about it. DH was supportive for the first 2-3 months. I stopped at 2 months with #1, and 7 months at #2 (much longer than DH could tolerate), and didn't nurse our triplets. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bella_gitana Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 I breastfed my last one until he was 3 1/2 years old. Family and friends would poke fun at us, but hubby would actually get mad at some people's comments. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Atl Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 Scoff? I am seriously shocked that anyone would imply a mom would breastfeed for her own personal gratification. If so, they have obviously never nursed a toddler... :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 If so, they have obviously never nursed a toddler... :lol: This is what I'm thinking. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HRAAB Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 My dh was my biggest supporter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smrtmama Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 He's completely on board with my nursing as long as I feel appropriate, and even if he didn't think it were the best option for our children's health, he'd respect my choice to do it because I'm the mother. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dragons in the flower bed Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 If I hadn't been willing to do it, he would have started taking hormones and pumping so he could do it himself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smrtmama Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 If I hadn't been willing to do it, he would have started taking hormones and pumping so he could do it himself. Your DH is awesome! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slartibartfast Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 My dh is supportive. If he wasn't I would pound him into submission until he was. He likes that. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 He likes that. TMI!:lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IsabelC Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 (edited) Scoff? I am seriously shocked that anyone would imply a mom would breastfeed for her own personal gratification. That is a very common misconception. I regularly hear "Oh, breastfeeding is definitely best, but after [insert magical arbitrary age, anywhere from 3 months to 3 years] it's only for the mother, and probably damages the child emotionally". When I think of the sheer amount of pain I have gone through to breastfeed my children (even when I am not having any problems the best I ever get is mildly uncomfortable instead of actually painful) I feel like slapping these people :glare: Btw, anyone who is not 110% in favor of mothers and children breastfeeding for as long as they like should consider reading of The Politics of Breastfeeding by Gabrielle Palmer. Parts of it were eye opening for me, even though I'm a breastfeeding counselor and educator. I used to think that some people were over the top with breastfeeding advocacy, but now I'm not so sure. Edited December 18, 2009 by Hotdrink Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crimson Wife Posted December 18, 2009 Author Share Posted December 18, 2009 The reason I posted this was because my DH feels that by the time the child is old enough to ask for it, then he/she is too old to receive it. He wants our kids weaned by their 1st birthday. His own mom weaned his brother at 4 mos when she returned to her FT teaching position. My mom, by contrast, nursed my youngest brother until he was 2. So I grew up thinking that nursing a toddler is normal, while he grew up with the norm of nursing only infants. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LittleIzumi Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 The reason I posted this was because my DH feels that by the time the child is old enough to ask for it, then he/she is too old to receive it. He wants our kids weaned by their 1st birthday. His own mom weaned his brother at 4 mos when she returned to her FT teaching position. My mom, by contrast, nursed my youngest brother until he was 2. So I grew up thinking that nursing a toddler is normal, while he grew up with the norm of nursing only infants. Does he know that the World Health Organization recommends babies nurse for 2 years (they really need all the help in the myelination of their brains as they come up to age two). Baby's IQ goes up more the longer they breastfeed. First decent link I found: http://www.enotalone.com/article/3603.html A mini-class in college I took talked about how the myelination explodes right before age two as they develop a bunch of new pathways. And breastmilk helps with that a lot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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