profmom Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 Did you feel that it was a life-changing event? Any advice for someone who will turn 40 in 2 days and is surprisingly reluctant? (I'm asking for a "friend." :D ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Virginia Dawn Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 Forty wasn't so bad, forty-three hit hard. I realized that I had probably lived half my life already. The only advice I would give is to enjoy the now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clementine Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 From a newly turned 40 - I dreaded it. I don't know why....the last birthday I didn't like was #26, because I was closer to 30 than 20. My reasoning is wacky, but I did think it was a little depressing to be turning 40. When my mom turned 40 I remember thinking she was 'old'. My mom did say that turning 50 was GREAT - so I guess I'll hold on to that thought and hope that's how I'll feel in 10 years :) Happy early birthday - think young!!! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandy in TN Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 Did you feel that it was a life-changing event? Any advice for someone who will turn 40 in 2 days and is surprisingly reluctant? (I'm asking for a "friend." :D ) 29 was a birthday of reckoning. :confused: 30 was liberating!:party: Last year when I turned 40 I was at a college weekend thingy for high schoolers to look at the college and we were too busy to make a big deal about it. :001_cool: Mandy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
profmom Posted August 13, 2009 Author Share Posted August 13, 2009 30 was liberating!:party: I thought so too, which is partly why I'm surprised to be feeling this way about 40! (I was expecting to feel the next level of liberation!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammy Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 you will get over it, LOL. Wait until you get close to 50....then let us know how you feel, LOL. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JennifersLost Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 Forty is so kick-a**! Sorry for the profanity, but really - it's the best thing that ever happened to me. All of a sudden I got a backbone - a real spine. And I got a mouth that isn't afraid to speak up for myself. And I got the wisdom to know baloney when I see it. And I got this clarity of vision that lets me see exactly what I need, and what I don't need. There are still ups and downs - perimenopause, anyone? - but overall, it's amazing!!!!! You go, girl - rock that 40th birthday like nothing else, because this year is going to change your life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaT Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 Forty is so kick-a**! Sorry for the profanity, but really - it's the best thing that ever happened to me. All of a sudden I got a backbone - a real spine. And I got a mouth that isn't afraid to speak up for myself. And I got the wisdom to know baloney when I see it. And I got this clarity of vision that lets me see exactly what I need, and what I don't need. There are still ups and downs - perimenopause, anyone? - but overall, it's amazing!!!!! You go, girl - rock that 40th birthday like nothing else, because this year is going to change your life. :iagree: 40 was great, 45 is even better! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LinRTX Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 My husband threw a surprise party for my 40th birthday. I felt so loved and cherished; it was wonderful! Then a few months later I got another surprise -- I was pregnant. Every other pregnancy was so hard to achieve and we were trying, so this one was so unexpected. But it was a wonderful birthday present. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sophia Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 I was pregnant at 40 and that actually made me feel younger, so 40 wasn't traumatic at all. I'll be 45 at the end of the month and I feel really good about where I am in life and excited about knowing I will be entering the grandma stage in the next 10 years. I'm currently reading a book called Faithful at 50 and that may be instrumental in helping me embrace the next stage of life. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariannNOVA Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 Yesterday I turned FIFTY-FIVE!!!!! And, you can look at my picture here with the kids and the dog (I am the one who does NOT have floppy ears, and my tongue is NOT hanging out). My oldest children are 30 and 29, and I have two grand-daughters -- 5.5 yrs and 3.5 years -- it's a hoot with our 10 year old and almost 9 year old twins when all the kids are together. Honestly, the grand-daughters are so enraptured with their aunts and uncle, they barely notice me -- which is good b/c I am not so sure I am any good at this 'grand mother' thing. Only the way '55' sounds bothers me -- but I do not feel any different than when I was 45 -- I am still a distance runner, and I am in good shape, I am healthy, and being in northern virginia (where I daresay there are quite a few 'older moms') no one seems to ask me if I am 'grandma' to my own three kids. Just this past weekend, though, when I was getting my nails done (standing appointment every two weeks) another 55+ year old woman actually did get snippy with me when I mentioned I would be homeschooling. She asked incredulously/snarkily if I was homeschooling my grand children (who had not even been mentioned). I responded that my grand daughters were in NJ, and I would be homeschooling my 10 year old daughter and my almost 9 year old twins. As if on cue, my dh (who is 11 years younger than me) showed up at the door to let me know he and the kids were there so we could all go to the pool. I guess my short response is that I don't see letting it bother me because in one short year, it is going to happen again, and the number is going to increase. HTH -- Don't sweat it! :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BMW Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 I turn 40 myself in a few weeks... I am funny about birthdays. I don't mind what age I am at all, I just want to be made to feel special! I want a present... I want to be told I am loved and how wonderful I am. :blushing: When I DO stop and consider my age (I just feel like, there's nothing I can do about it, so just enjoy each day... and when I was 30 I was told that I had 3-5 yrs. to live because I had a melanoma go systemic... I love each year!) I start to feel like my time is running out... I want to be remembered and loved. I want to know that I left behind something special and made a difference in other's lives. I hope that I live another decade so that I can love on my kids, though they will all have entered adulthood by then. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HollyDay Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 40 wasn't too bad for me! I still had a nursing baby in the house. I still listened to Ricky Martin music. My hair was still blonde (with a little help). 43 was tough. Perimenopause was starting in a big way! I started wearing bifocals. I started getting tired in the afternoon. 47 was mixed. 50 is coming soon. Now I've got multifocal contact lenses. Got tired of being blonde. Can't stand Ricky Martin's latest music. Turning 40 beats not turning 40. Look on the bright side! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elizabeth Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 It is a huge blessing . So many women all over the world do not make it 40 due to horrific living conditions, maternal death due to complete lack of health care, disease, famine , despair, cancer, forced prostitution and other crimes against humanity like war, ...the list is endless. I just feel incredibly fortunate as I attain my 44th year . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
susie in tx Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 Did you feel that it was a life-changing event? Any advice for someone who will turn 40 in 2 days and is surprisingly reluctant? (I'm asking for a "friend." :D ) I have a friend that is turning 40 at the end of the month. I'm going to forward these messages to her.:lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in FL Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 That day I was fine, didn't really worry about the big 40. But later that week I went for an eye exam and needed bifocals for the first time ever. The eye doctor just looked at me and said "Well, you are 40 now, it's all down hill from here." He was right! Melissa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hornblower Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 No different than I felt at 39 and 41. Really. We don't make a fuss over birthdays. The only thing that was ticking me off was the other people making a big deal about the BIG FOUR OH! Took me a while to convince them it was not a big deal, and no, I wasn't just pretending because I was so upset, and yes, I really would hate it if anyone threw a surprise party. I love my life. I'm glad to be alive and kicking, each and every year. I really don't pay attention to my age. I was getting a mammo yesterday & the reception asked my age. I had to count to tell her. :D Wait, maybe that means I should have been going to the memory screening clinic instead???? memory/mammogram ? sounds so similar....... :D maybe I messed up the appointment? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BillieBoy Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 I turned 40 last year and honestly I thought I already was and was turning 41, until my dh gently reminded me. No big deal to me at all. IMHO we get better; like a fine wine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sadiegirl Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 Having a birthday is not what gets me down...it's how suddenly you wake up and there are things going on with your skin, body that you can't control to some degree! I have always taken really good care of myself but since I have turned 45, my skin(mainly my face) has given me such frustration. I have issues with hyperpigmentation that I can't seem to get resolved(even with IPL treatments thru derm. doctor). It's like having pregnancy mask all over again and it is really affecting my self-esteem. So, for me, having the birthday...no biggie. It's just another day to be thankful to be alive and well with my husband and kids but the AGING sucks big time!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
susie in tx Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 Having a birthday is not what gets me down...it's how suddenly you wake up and there are things going on with your skin, body that you can't control to some degree! I have always taken really good care of myself but since I have turned 45, my skin(mainly my face) has given me such frustration. I have issues with hyperpigmentation that I can't seem to get resolved(even with IPL treatments thru derm. doctor). It's like having pregnancy mask all over again and it is really affecting my self-esteem. Ya know, I'm not yet 40 and I'm having a ton of trouble with this as well. I had a lot of rosacea while pg with my last. And, I noticed that my skin elasticity had gone south. Then, after the pg was over, the rosacea seemed to go away and the hyperpigmentation just took over. I'm not going in the sun at all if I can help it because it is horrific after I'm in the sun. I've heard that HLA helps, but that it mostly heals during the winter months when we are not out in the sun. I'd love to hear more about what you are doing, because this is just not fun. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 See my avatar? That was my 40th birthday present. He kept me too busy to really think about it:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fivetails Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 Okay, I'll be honest - I hate the idea. I don't like getting older... I'm 32 and not even comfortable with that.... the other week, my best friend had his 40th birthday...it kinda depressed me and it wasn't even *my* 40th.... I guess a lot of it is that I don't know where the time went... it doesn't FEEL like it's been that long since _____ (lots of things)... I don't FEEL like I'm in my 30's at all .... I don't want to get older. I realize it's inevitable, but.. I don't like it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hornblower Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 Ya know, I'm not yet 40 and I'm having a ton of trouble with this as well. I had a lot of rosacea while pg with my last. And, I noticed that my skin elasticity had gone south. Then, after the pg was over, the rosacea seemed to go away and the hyperpigmentation just took over. I'm not going in the sun at all if I can help it because it is horrific after I'm in the sun. I've heard that HLA helps, but that it mostly heals during the winter months when we are not out in the sun. I'd love to hear more about what you are doing, because this is just not fun. I just heard recently that this is sometimes associated with thyroid probs. Here's one study: http://jcem.endojournals.org/cgi/content/abstract/61/1/28 I had thyroid probs during puberty so I'm thinking of having my thyroid tested again. My melasma is only on my forehead & appeared about 18 mos after the birth of my 2nd child. I've been resigned to having bangs & wearing baseball caps ever since. If I can keep it out of the sun (sunscreen doesn't help much at all; I wear spf20 year round) it's a bit better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mabelen Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 Well, I did not fret much about turning 40, I was far too busy preparing to give birth to my youngest! Actually, the only real difference I've noticed is my eyesight. When I would read at bedtime I started noticing how hard it was to read the small letters. I thought it was because I was tired (you know, those night time feeds etc), it turned out to be due to being over 40! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
susie in tx Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 I just heard recently that this is sometimes associated with thyroid probs. Here's one study: http://jcem.endojournals.org/cgi/content/abstract/61/1/28 I had thyroid probs during puberty so I'm thinking of having my thyroid tested again. . Thanks for the link. I had my thyroid checked in May and I go to the doctor again today as he just checked it again. So, I guess we will see how it goes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lynn Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 Turning 40 was fabulous. I have an amazing husband and 4 great kids. I am exactly where I want to be in line. I started running, taking a few classes, doing things I've always wanted to do but never got around to doing. 40's have been good to me, I really don't feel my age. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peela Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 No where near as bad as 30 for me. I have a lot of older friends so I guess I saw they weren't too bad :) 30 was quite a shock for me- somehow I suddenly felt I needed to be an adult. My irresponsible youth was over. But I felt a lot of "growing up" was happening anyway. Having 2 babies helped. I actually love, love, love getting older. I tell that to my kids too. We have a phobia in our society about getting older, but there are so many good things about it. Not that I dont get caught up in sadness about being invisible and letting go of my youthful looks etc (having a teenage beautiful daughter helps that too) but I would never want to go back except to take what I know now. Now I dont tend to think of 40s as old at all :) Now 50. Whew, thats a biggie :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tristangrace Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 I'll be 40 in October. I don't have any particular emotions about it that I can identify . . . but I know I have been aware of/thinking about my age more often. I can identify with what a previous poster here alluded to: a lot of women seem to really "become themselves" more fully as they approach 40--understanding themselves, knowing and speaking their opinions, greater confidence and self-assurance. I've been able to develop some new character strengths in the last couple of years, and am really yearning for more. That's really been awesome. I've also noticed that my bod is um, er, "changing" here and there. The under-arm jiggle appeared OVERNIGHT, and even after having three kids my stomach had always been (relatively!!!) flat . . . but no more. Happy birthday! Susan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
usetoschool Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 pfffft...I wish I was 40 again. It seems so young. I had a toddler at that age and it seemed perfectly normal. Over 45 was the hardest because 50 seems OLDish, beyond childbearing, and over 45 is closer to 50 than 40. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 I was pregnant. You could try that option. :D Really the 40s are great! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EKS Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 Forty wasn't so bad, forty-three hit hard. Yikes! Now I'm depressed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan in KY Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 Jump right in, the water's fine! :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BikeBookBread Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 Thankful that I'm able to be homeschooling my little ones, married to my wonderful husband, reasonably healthy, and not looking too much like a tired hag on most days! Last year was 40, I'm 41 in a few weeks, so technically I wasn't 40 when I started homeschooling, but I started homeschooling the year I turned 40 :) I have friends who have dreaded turning 40 to the point that they refused parties, etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ncmomo3 Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 Forty was no biggie for me. 30 seemed more traumatic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MicheleinMN Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 I don't mind the *zero years* 30 and 40, so far, but man do I ever hate 7's! I decided when I turned 40 that I was no longer going to do anything because I *should* -- I was only going to something if I wanted to do it. Well, I haven't quite held to that promise, but I do really try to think about WHY I am doing something now. And I enjoy my actual birthday day more and more every year. No guilt about what I choose to do or not do on that day. Hope your day is great and the next year is even better!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KrissiK Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 I loved turning 30 - I felt free. Free from peer pressure, and culture, and all that other garbage they foist on the youth. I didn't mind at all turning 40. It was a non-event. I'm 41 now and age doesn't matter. I mean, the cute bag-boys at the supermarket still flirt with me, so who cares how old I am, right? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CalicoKat Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 Sassy. I turned 40 in July. I told my husband absolutely NO party. No surprise party. Just a nice cake with him and our kids. My in-laws were easy to convince no party because they thought I was turning 38. HAH! I bought my own gift. I didn't go overboard. But since I don't generally get gifts for holidays or bdays and I always feel bad my 40 yo epiphany is to take charge and do it myself and not worry about what others think. DH was with me when I did. I bought my own cake. It was then that DH asked if I was going to let him come to my party. :D No, there wasn't going to be a party. But he was welcome to have several pieces of cake and chat with me while he did. On my birthday I scheduled a babysitter, went for a haircut. Ordered take out from a Thai restaurant. Bought a new book and age my lunch by a fountain in the park. I also did a bit of shopping for my Christmas knitting at Hobby Lobby. If I'd been more organized I would have also had a pedicure. I got home and made dinner for the family and ate birthday cake with them. Not sure how to put it all into words, but I'm 40. I don't have to do anything I don't want to anymore. I don't have to endure another family get-together just because it's the thing to do. Maybe being 40 is the end to having to worry about pleasing other people even when it makes me uncomfortable. At 40 you finally are old enough to get a say in how, when, and who cares why? 40 is freeing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tree House Academy Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 (edited) Are you kidding? I just turned 30 and *that* was a life changing event for me. Edited August 13, 2009 by Tree House Academy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keptwoman Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 I'm 40 next year and I have to say I'm already dreading it. My parents both died in their 40s, which I know is not the norm but it still freaks me out a lot. We spent DHs 40th in Fiji, I haven't decided where we are going for mine, but we sure are going somewhere nice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
susie in tx Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 Thanks for the link. I had my thyroid checked in May and I go to the doctor again today as he just checked it again. So, I guess we will see how it goes. Looks like you were right on the money wrt thyroid. My levels were much different today than they were in May. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
homeschool68 Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 I didn't mind it. I look very young for my age so I was glad to hit an age where I could blow people away when I told them I was 40 :D especially since I get told I look around 25-30 all the time. I'm sure once I get closer to 50 I won't be so thrilled though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
homeschool68 Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 At 40 you finally are old enough to get a say in how, when, and who cares why? 40 is freeing. I was doing that at 21. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moni Posted August 14, 2009 Share Posted August 14, 2009 I don't think I even noticed. And now, I can't even recall. :lol: :seeya: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Retired Posted August 14, 2009 Share Posted August 14, 2009 I didn't mind it. I look very young for my age so I was glad to hit an age where I could blow people away when I told them I was 40 :D especially since I get told I look around 25-30 all the time. I'm sure once I get closer to 50 I won't be so thrilled though. People can't believe I'll be 40 this year. I was carded buying wine a few weeks ago. I turn 40 in march 2010 and will have a 20th anniversary July 2010 My dh is planning some kind of trip to celebrate. The only thing I know is there will be a beach. He says to have a bikini and my passport:D He is planning the whole thing. I just have to pack my bags. He even has his mother in on the plans. She will be staying with the kids. I can't wait! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kpupg Posted August 14, 2009 Share Posted August 14, 2009 Any advice for someone who will turn 40 in 2 days and is surprisingly reluctant? 40 was a lot easier than 50. At 40, most people still feel relatively immortal. During your 40's, you'll learn otherwise. Well, aren't I a wet blanket :ack2: ... ... oh, the advice: eat right, exercise, get plenty of sleep, treasure the time you have left with your kids being kids. Happy Birthday! Karen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sandalwood Posted August 14, 2009 Share Posted August 14, 2009 I was kind of depressed turning 40 and I have no idea why!:confused: My hubbie was the same way, too. However, I will say each birthday since has been a breeze! I have no idea why 40 got me down in the dumps but it did. It was a short lived depression but it really hit me the two weeks prior to turning 40. Saw this happen with my neighbor, too. Must be common! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted August 14, 2009 Share Posted August 14, 2009 I thought so too, which is partly why I'm surprised to be feeling this way about 40! (I was expecting to feel the next level of liberation!) I have enjoyed my forties so far (4 years into it). I enjoy my son as a teenager and young adult and this new phase of life brings more freedom. If you take care of yourself, forty is not a death knell and you have plenty of good years ahead. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey Posted August 14, 2009 Share Posted August 14, 2009 Did you feel that it was a life-changing event? Any advice for someone who will turn 40 in 2 days and is surprisingly reluctant? (I'm asking for a "friend." :D ) I am 40 and absolutely fabulous! :D I look forward to all the big milestones and I hope to someday hit 90 with a smile on my face. Honestly, I am pretty darn happy with every year I get, because I know that were it not for a cat, I wouldn't even be here anymore. (I won't explain -- just suffice it to say, I had a close call once that changed my outlook). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hockey Mom Posted August 14, 2009 Share Posted August 14, 2009 I was doing that at 21. :D As was I. The difference was, at 21 no one took me seriously. ;) I'll be 39 in a couple of months. I look forward to turning 40! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom31257 Posted August 14, 2009 Share Posted August 14, 2009 I was fine with it. I'll be 43 next February. Most of my friends can't believe my age when I tell them. They all think I'm in my early to mid-30's. I think some of that is the age of my kids. Your age doesn't define who you are. I once taught part-time and the students asked me my favorite age. I had to say right then because every year gets better. I think the same holds true for me now. I wouldn't go back, and think the future will be better and better. I will say that I've put on weight since turning 40, but it's in my bloodline, might not be for you. I sit too much for school work, and I've really not been careful at all about my eating these last few years. Reading, doing math worksheets, researching, planning...it's all sitting. I've really been feeling bad about it, so I started just a couple of days ago drinking LOTS more water, trying to eat better, and find ways to build more activity in my schedule like exercising while doing things such as brushing your teeth. I folded and delivered towels one piece at at time to the various places. I really worked up a little sweat doing that. Hopefully it will all help! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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