Do you ever feel like you just want to be totally alone for a week or two...

[hmschoolmom22]

this is not pms or pmdd(I take meds for pmdd and I am currently on my period so it's not that)...I'm just having one of those days....well, a few days. I feel all I do is clean, fix food, fuss at kids, pick up stuff, go to the grocery store, clean, fix food, fuss at kids, pick up stuff, etc...I'm sure you get my drift.

 

I've been married for almost 20 years and we have a great marriage, never fight, laugh every day, he's a hard working man and is happy to do so to keep me home with our kids....I just feel like I'm his room mate sometimes...he's not a very affectionate person and never complimentary, never "I love you" first....that kind of thing. Lately, it's really been bothering me! just once I'd love for him to come up to me and hug me or kiss me or hold my hand when we're out together somewhere.

 

My kids....God knows I love them with all my heart but lately, I haven't really liked one of my children. She's become very sassy, very disprespectful and it's mainly geared toward me. She talks to me sometimes with such an attitude, I'm starting to think we will never get along the way I would like us to.

 

We just got back from vacation - which was very relaxing and fun...still during vacation, still felt a disconnect with hubby. I know he must work a lot to keep me home and I should be happy that he's busy and making money...but my gosh, I didn't get married to be alone!

 

we were supposed to go to the movies this afternoon...I'm feeling so low, so burnt out, I told them to go without me - my husband was furious!!!!!!!!!!! he walked out without saying a word to me...the kids kept asking why I wouldn't go and saying "but you are dying to see this movie" and it was making me cry...I just couldn't bring myself to go the movie and act like everything is hunky dory when that's not how I feel. Not to mention, dh NEVER takes the kids anywhere by himself, it always has to be all of us....I mean geez! take the kids and do something with them by yourself sometimes! I do it all the time!!!

 

I am venting and I appreciate your reading this saga...not sure what I'm looking for...advice? hugs? I don't know. I just know that I'm not happy right now, feeling very much like I'm in a rut that I can't get out of, feeling like a live in maid and cook and not a wife and mom lately.

 

I feel like I unload on these boards too often:confused:

[OrganicAnn]

Do I ever feel like being alone for a week or two? Yes. Well maybe not two weeks.

[rowan25]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

I'm not sure about even a whole week. I'm a people person. But I would LOVE a few days. Or even if DH would take the kids off for a few hours. That won't happen. But I can dream!

 

I hope things get better for you. :grouphug:

[Bonnie in VA]

I nearly wrote a post remarkably similar to yours a few days ago. Sometimes my desire to experience solitude makes me feel guilty, but I know that it shouldn't. It is simply a need that I have (I'm an introvert), and it is not healthy for that need to go unmet.

 

However, most of the time that need does go unmet. My husband works hard and is very involved with the kids' activities, and really he doesn't have any extra time to take the kids out of the house while I stay home alone (I'd rather be home by myself than go on an outing by myself).

 

I guess I really don't have any good advice for you -- but please know that you are not the only one who feels like this.

 

Bonnie

[gamommy]

((hugs)) I've been in a funk for the last several weeks too and wrestling with some similiar issues. It's shocking for my dh and kids as I usually don't craze solitude.

[Stacia]

:grouphug:

 

Personally, I think it's critical & essential to have alone time/recharge time. And, I'm not talking about an hour or two here or there.

 

Over the years, I have told dh to take the kids for a few days (ranging from a couple of days to a bit more than a week) & let me stay home alone. It's awesome & there's no reason to feel guilt about it. He is a parent as much as I am a parent, so I don't see it as an imposition on him. He is as capable as parenting the children as I am. (Our methods may differ, but we're both capable & loving parents.) It's a great way to recharge your batteries, as well as giving your dh & kids time to bond on their own too. If it's not practical for him to leave w/ the kids, is there anyway you could get away for at least a weekend by yourself?

 

On the other side, I also have taken the kids on trips many, many times, leaving him at home alone. Granted, he's still working, but it gives him free evenings & weekends.

 

Time together AND time apart are essential for our family. We are a family, yet we are individuals too.

[PollyOR]

:grouphug: Lisa :grouphug:

 

When #3 was two years old, I started taking a night off every week. DH wasn't thrilled about it at first but it has been fairly routine for nine years now.

 

I don't think my DH really understands the need for me to be home alone, but I think he has accepted that I'm more loving when he makes it possible. Occasionally DH takes the kids and stays overnight with one of his siblings. Within hours I find myself walking around the house talking to the dog and the cat:tongue_smilie:. Can't live with them, can't live without them.

 

Oh, one time when I was feeling particularly "bonkers," I flew out of state to visit my sister and attend a homeschool conference. DH had the kids by himself for about a week. He appreciated my need for down time a lot more after that.

Edited July 26, 2009 by PollyOR

[Soph the vet]

Yes, but only every one or two weeks do I feel this way!;):lol:

[swellmomma]

Yup. I haven't had more than a couple hours to myself in 10 years I am at the point where I want to run away from home and jsut have time alone, in peace and quiet, without people touching me, and yelling at me and just find myself again. I fear though that I would not come back after that break though, I am so burnt out.

[gingersmom]

I have been a single parent for many years (their father passed away) and about once a year I get to the point I think I am going to have a nervous breakdown.

 

My mother usually clues in by then and will offer to take my kids for several days. Thats really all I need to recharge my batteries.

 

I have also found that just taking time for myself whenever I need it (15 minutes here, an hour there) really makes a difference. Just going in my room and shutting the door with no interruptions makes a huge difference.

[Tree House Academy]

Oh.God.Yes. I can relate to every single word you said. Okay, well, I haven't been married 20 years (try 7), but yes, with my dh, his working all the time, or lack of similarities in general, and my older son who is absolutely about to drive us all crazy, I can TOTALLY relate. :grouphug:

Edited July 26, 2009 by Tree House Academy

[kalanamak]

 

we were supposed to go to the movies this afternoon...I'm feeling so low, so burnt out, I told them to go without me - my husband was furious!!!!!!!!!!! he walked out without saying a word to me...the kids kept asking why I wouldn't go and saying "but you are dying to see this movie" and it was making me cry...I just couldn't bring myself to go the movie and act like everything is hunky dory when that's not how I feel.

 

Back in the good old days, Mom got "a headache". A lie down in a dark room with a cool cloth went a long ways.

:grouphug:

Anyone who is married a long time, and who isn't a vacuous Barbie Doll, feels this way from time to time. If you can't negotiate some time off, have a good old fashioned 1950's headache.

[dangermom]

Of course I do! I love my family to death, but sometimes I could just kill for a day or two alone. I sometimes tell my husband that I'm going to go hibernate for a while, and disappear into the bedroom with a book and a snack.

[KidsHappen]

So explain this alone concept to me. :confused: I haven't been alone more than a few hours at a time in, I don't know, maybe 27 years. At this point, I am not sure that I would know what to do with myself. :) As my children get older and older, I do seem to get more and more of these few hours at a time periods but I never do anything different than I ordinarily do except maybe forget to eat. Maybe that is why my family is afraid to leave me alone. Maybe they think that I will starve to death. :tongue_smilie:

[Garga]

I understand! Since I homeschool, it means I'm on call for someone all the time--either kids or dh. Sometimes I just like to be alone without having that feeling that at any moment someone could interrupt me with their needs.

 

I look forward to VBS all year long. I get 5 whole days in a row--three hours a day!--just to be alone without someone needing me. Get this--last year (the first year both kids went to VBS) my dh was sick on the first day of VBS, so I only got 4 days of alone time. And this year, someone asked me to babysit her kid on this first day of VBS: I said no. The church also asked me to volunteer for VBS, but I said no to them, too. (I volunteer for other things--VBS week is MINE.)

 

I only get those 15 hours a year to myself, and I guard them carefully.

Edited July 26, 2009 by Garga

[LibraryLover]

Of course you should get some time alone if you want it. Of course most dads can take most kids to the movies without the mom.

 

And yes, a week or two alone would be quite nice. I took my youngest and went on vacation with my mother and sisters for 8 days, and just getting space from the house demands and people demands was wonderful. (My youngest is very easy-going). It was lovely! You're simply talking about 90 minutes to a couple of hours. Horrifying, I tell you! :D

 

It's a lot to have so many people and a home needing you *all the time*.

[JennifersLost]

Men get so much more "alone time" built into their days. They don't always get how burnt out we can get. It's too bad that your burn-out picked today to flare up, but don't beat yourself up about it.

 

Just take care of yourself now so you can take care of your family later.

[abcinnc]

Probably not for a whole week, but a day would be nice.

[Garga]

Oh--the other day, I had an unexpected NIGHT alone a few weeks ago! The whole night! The kids and dh were invited to a sleepover-camping b-day party. I thought I would love it, but I actually felt really weird and sad that there was no one in the house all evening, night, and morning. It made me think about when I get old and my kids leave and if my dh died...how sad and lonely it would be to be alone in a house all day.

 

So, for the past month, I've not felt that I need the alone-time as strongly as I usually do, after realizing how lonely I'd be if my family were really gone.

 

(But I'm still looking forward to VBS next week...)

[CalicoKat]

YES! Alone. No one to cook for, no one to pick up after, no one to consult . . . just walk out the door and worry about me for a bit.

 

Our dh's sound similar. Although recently he's been more open to the idea of taking all the kids out of the house by himself, they've still not made it past the yard. :) I have dr's appts., grocery shopping, library trips....etc. on my own with all five all the time.

 

Ironically just yesterday he was commenting on how horrible it must be for his out-of-work brother to be cooped up all day with three children--going no where and constantly cooking & cleaning. When I pointed out to him that was my life +2 children he said it wasn't the same, huh?!

 

Anyway, I take the hour after dinner for myself each night. I get up from the table and ask them to have the downstairs spic'n span when I get up. I don't assign. I don't ask. I just do it. An hour is long enough to take a bath, read, eat a hidden snack, call my mom, or take a nap.

 

I don't think that I could take a week off without extreme guilt right now (child care stuff cuz dh's job is precarioius). It's not time. But it certainly is a dream.

[melissel]

As someone else who unloads on this board often and who, for various reasons, has been feeling the same way for several days now, I just wanted to send you a :grouphug: You are definitely not alone. I've actually been fantasizing about sending the kids to school in September (which, unfortunately, DH is all for :(). I know I won't actually do it, but the idea of a quiet house for several hours a day and time to be alone and do my paid work without interruptions every 10 minutes is very, VERY tempting.

 

I'm really sorry you're having a hard time right now. It's not a good feeling.

[dangermom]

I look forward to VBS all year long.

Hah, I can relate! I was really looking forward to VBS--which is at another church, ours doesn't do it--and when I called up to register, my friend who runs the office there offered me her job for the VBS week while she was out of state! We really need the money, so I jumped at it, but those hours won't come again until next year...

[Geo]

YES

 

I have been actively mothering for 35 years and my youngest is only 7yo (6 kids, 7-35yo).

I've been homeschooling for 22+ years and still have at least 12 years to go...I'll be in my 60's by the time I'm done.

Yep, I feel the need quite regularly. Not that I get it. Don't misunderstand, I love being a mom and homeschooling...but I am tired.

At this point, QUIET is more important to me than anything else. :closedeyes:

 

Yep, I would adore having a week or two just to repair my central nervous system. :blink:

 

Geo

Edited July 26, 2009 by Geo

[KrissiK]

Yes. Definitely. I was single for a long time before I got married (at age 34) and there were some weekends (not all of them) that I'd leave work Friday and I wouldn't talk to anyone until Monday morning. I loved it. I can be that much of a recluse. Sometimes I look on those times wistfully.

[Geo]

So explain this alone concept to me. :confused: I haven't been alone more than a few hours at a time in, I don't know, maybe 27 years. At this point, I am not sure that I would know what to do with myself. :) As my children get older and older, I do seem to get more and more of these few hours at a time periods but I never do anything different than I ordinarily do except maybe forget to eat. Maybe that is why my family is afraid to leave me alone. Maybe they think that I will starve to death. :tongue_smilie:

 

Gotcha!

 

Geo

[Garga]

Yes. Definitely. I was single for a long time before I got married (at age 34) and there were some weekends (not all of them) that I'd leave work Friday and I wouldn't talk to anyone until Monday morning. I loved it. I can be that much of a recluse. Sometimes I look on those times wistfully.

 

 

I wasn't ever completely alone (went right from my parent's house to being married), but I used to spend all day Saturday sitting in silence reading a book, with minimal interruptions from parents or dh.

 

I am still confused as to how someone like me (who cherishes silence and will sit perfectly still reading for 8 hours in a row) ended up with two little boys--one of whom fits the definition of hyperactive to a tee.

 

They're only 4 and 6, but I look forward to the day when I can hand each of them a book and tell them to read for 30 minutes, so I can have some silence. (Ahh, sweet, sweet silence.)

[Rita]

Just today I told my best friend that I'd LOVE to be a hermit!!! My boys had been at Boy Scout camp since Wednesday, and dh had only one day off while they were gone,so the rest of the time was MINE!!!! It was so peaceful and quiet :)

You are not alone in feeling the need to be alone :) And good for you for having your husband take the kids to the movies without you.

:grouphug:

Blessings,

Rita

[Jayne J]

I'm not Catholic or Orthodox, nor especially given to the religious life, however I have found myself fantasizing about becoming a nun, but only if I could find an order that still takes vows of silence. Oh, and that would let me eat chocolate and knit for most of the day. And cook and clean for me. Probably not likely eh? But still, if you hear of something like that, let me know...;)

[ThatCyndiGirl]

OHMYNOODness, YES, YES, YES and a million times YES!!!

 

 

Especially after last night! I had a horrendous night at work.....after not getting good sleep the night before. YUCK. I wanted to check into a hotel and be ALL BY MYSELF!!!

[Denisemomof4]

there's not a thing you've said that I I haven't personally felt myself. In fact, I've had so much stress in my life for YEARS that my wonderful husband has insisted I take time away not once but twice in our 20 years of marriage. Two summers ago I was about to have a breakdown over the stress of my youngest child, whom I was ill prepared to parent. She's our 4th child and only adopted and she has serious issues that completely exhaust me. Two summers ago my husband sent me to be with a good friend in GA for 10 days, and I was NOT ready to come home even one day before I did. I spoke to my three bio kids and hubby EVERY day but I absolutely NEEDED a break from my youngest. Bio or not, there's always one kid who will challenge you more than the most. Don't peg it on yourself as being a bad parent. EVERY parent has one child that's more difficult to parent.

 

I understand feeling like a slave. How old are your children, and how much do they help out around the house? Years ago when I started to burn out I single handedly ran the house, homeschooled two kids and had a baby, made EVERY meal from scratch, rolled my own oats, ground my own wheat, took care of EVERY house and barn chore, and I wanted to die from exhaustion. My oldest was probably 8 when I taught him how to cook but I did all baking, every morning for breakfast, by myself and most meals by myself. I finally took a few HARD years to teach my kids how to do EVERYTHING. Teaching them and holding them accountable to their chores has been exhausting and excruciating at times, but we've had several times where emergencies came up and our kids took care of ALL barn chores, home chores, cooked dinner and put kids to bed. My kids can now completely run our home in the absence of dh and I if ever a time was needed. And I have much more time to relax because I have my helpers.

 

I also found that sharing chores and keeping a chore chart help ME. I know what chores I'M responsible on any given day and it make for a clean home and little "catching up" inside the house. Basement and outside - that's another story but we've been taking care of our ailing parents for 3 years now. Unfortunately, that has come to an end so we'll catch up on the outside when we can.

 

As far as your hubby - have you told him how you feel? Do you have regular date nights? It is IMPERATIVE that you do to remain intimate. He needs to know how important it is to you to hold your hand, hug you, etc. DH and I bought some new marriage books a month ago and are having fun going to bed early 4 nights per week to read our books, talk, cuddle, etc. We nurture our marriage to keep it strong. We just celebrated our 20 year anniversary and I can tell you we're more in love now than we were 20 years ago, if that's even possible. It's because I'm dh's #1 priority and he is my #1 priority. We have had seasons where we couldn't dedicate time alone to each other but it appears our last season like that is done and we're not focusing on our marriage first, and time alone, and our kids second. The best gift you can give your kids is a close and happy marriage.

 

Last thing I'd recommend is that you do something for YOU on a regular basis. Time with friends once per week, a daily walk, a class/hobby for yourself. I was married for over a decade before I did this, and dh was constantly after me to do so. I should have listened to him sooner.

 

One thing you said that DID concern me - your dh and you never fight? Dh and I fight hard and make up harder. My best friend NEVER fought with her husband but she'll be the first to admit that was because there was no open communication. I'm hoping you guys just don't fight because you're on the same page about everything and you're so close, but it's something I think you should evaluate. We've had seasons when I was taking care of my invalid mother AND my adopted daughter with severe issues, and I did sometimes feel like dh was my roommate. I'd discuss this with him and he'd make every effort to change that (my poor guy was under SO MUCH STRESS HIMSELF, it was a VERY difficult time where I barely could leave my house) but I also made sure I was making every effort to change, too. Dh and I have time alone to talk DAILY, even if it's only 10 minutes. Hold hands, discuss your day, dote on your husband, thank him for all he does for you, nurture intimacy yourself...... it's not all up to him. YOU hug him and kiss him hello when he walks through the door. Make a candle lit dinner, eat alone outside or even in the garage just to be alone. Make changes first and then ask him to help.

 

One thing I really didn't understand until recently is the pressure our you husband's feel to provide for their family. Make his home a haven for him when he comes home. Tell him how much you appreciate him, how you realize how hard he works so you can stay home with the kids. Tell him how much you miss him and how much you need time alone with him.

 

I will admit that I don't think you did the right thing by not going to the movies with your family. It sounds like they were going to see a movie you wanted to see but you didn't attend. May I suggest you apologize to your family, make cookies and perhaps have a game night? Even if you're not in the mood, suck it up. :tongue_smilie: It will go a long way.

 

Open communication with your husband is the most important thing you can do for your marriage. Let your needs and desires be known to him, within reason, and make sure you fulfill his desires, too, and appreciate him and thank him for all he does for you.

 

I can't even tell you how many times I've felt like being a mother (ie SLAVE) and wife was the hardest, most underappreciated position on the earth. But I can say that it IS all worth it (you'll know this later in life):tongue_smilie: Truth be told - they say behind every successful man is a GOOD woman (or something like that) but I have also found that behind every good family/marriage is a happy and content wife. It should be in a 50/50 relationship, but sometimes it is not and then we are forced to find contentment without our dh's. It happens but I'm hoping it doesn't happen often.

:grouphug:

[Frontier Mom]

Yep, I'm right there with you. The thing I struggle with the most with home educating is the dc's. Not kidding, I would be such a better home education teacher if my dc's didn't make so many messes, get distracted, fight over the stupidest things. I mean, if they just got what I asked done each day with a smile life would be grand.

 

Reality check for me: not happening anytime soon. I'm not sure about you but taking even a small break in schooling gets me really out of sorts. I love a day here and there because I almost feel like I'm cheating, IYKWIM. However, we have taken several weeks off and I am so ready to start back. My dc's get cranky, bored, endlessly hungry, coach potatoes, etc. I also get cranky, fussy, irritable, etc. Well, you get the picture.

 

I think you need to let yourself enjoy your time and I think maybe you should sit down with your dh and tell him exactly how you feel. Tell him you are not Supermom, Superwife, Superhomemaker. Nope, you are you, the woman he fell in love with, the mother of his children and the 24/7 chef, cleaner, entertainer, teacher, yada, yada, yada. And, precisely because you love them so much you need a break!!

 

Not trying to start a bashing thing here, but men just don't guess how women are feeling very well. Sometimes they just need it in black and white. Spell it out and see if you can come up with a solution.

 

My dh is exactly that way. Everytime everyone goes out he just assumes I want to go. Sometimes I just yearn for peace and quiet. The best movie in the world can't match the peace and quiet for me. However, he doesn't figure that out very well so I just say it. I NEED TIME ALONE.

 

Hope all works out for you. Remember, when on a plane, you need to put on your oxygen mask before you can help your children. Everyone's oxygen is a little different.

[blessed2fosteradopt]

I would absolutely love to be alone for a week. Completely alone. I am really struggling with my (2) three year olds right now and am shaking as I type this. The constant crying, whining, fighting and discord in my house has me at my breaking point. Not to mention the fact that my 11 yo is ADHD and fights me tooth and nail about everything. It is really difficult. I feel like I live in a state of chaos. I would love to just run away. I know exactly how you feel. :grouphug:

[hmschoolmom22]

your replies to my post have helped me more than you will ever know! Thank you everyone!!!

 

:grouphug:

[KingM]

I think you should make a plan to do just that. I spend 24/7 at home with my wife/kids and while I wouldn't change my life for anything, I do need a break once or twice a year. And I take it. :)

[KingM]

Men get so much more "alone time" built into their days.

 

Hah. Oh, wait, I mean HAH! HAH! HAH! ;)

[eternalknot]

I have a completely fabulous job that has built in "alone time" (from the kids anyhow!) that I can customize to my needs. I can chose to be gone zero days each month, or up to 21 days. Most months I choose to be gone for 2-4 days total; just enough time to earn some spending money and to have some space to "miss the kids" LOL.

 

I don't feel guilty about it, though people have suggested I ought to.

[justamouse]

I totally feel like that, a lot. I'm an INFJ. Being around people takes a whole lot out of me, and if I don't get sane time every day it begins to show. I have a homeschooling GF who is the same way and we joke that staring at a wall for a month would be a blessed relief. OK, maybe a few good books, to, but SILENCE.

 

Hang in there and make sure you get the time you need to refule. IT's not selfish, it's self preservation.

[KingM]

Hang in there and make sure you get the time you need to refule. IT's not selfish, it's self preservation.

 

:iagree:

 

And I'll also add that selfish or not, as parents we give so much of our lives to our children, but we don't need to give everything. A balanced life is a happy life.

[Hikin' Mama]

I'm an introvert, and I feel great after being alone.

 

Eta: Hugs to you!

[iwka]

I'm not Catholic or Orthodox, nor especially given to the religious life, however I have found myself fantasizing about becoming a nun, but only if I could find an order that still takes vows of silence. Oh, and that would let me eat chocolate and knit for most of the day. And cook and clean for me. Probably not likely eh? But still, if you hear of something like that, let me know...;)

 

Carthusian nuns then:

http://www.chartreux.org/en/frame.html

 

...but I am afraid that chocolate is out of their diet...as for knitting, cleaning and cooking..big YES ( I think)

[Peri]

Have you tried telling him that you just need some alone time? Explain to him that you would very much be a happier mom and wife if he would just take the kids off to somewhere for an hour or two. I'm an only child so i am sooooo used to alone time that when dh wanted to spend evey minute with me it drove me nuts. There were literaly times I would look at him and ask if he had some friends he wanted to spend time with. He understood though ... he wasn't terribly happy but he understood. So every now and then he understands that I just need the house to myself.

 

As for the display of affection, have you tried holding his hand or hugging him? Maybe he needs to be shown what to do and how to do it. Some people don't know how to do that or they forget with the hustle and bustle of life. So they need someone to take the initiative and show them once again.

[Chris in CA]

if I knew my dds were having fun elsewhere - but I would probably miss them terribly after a couple of days

[Peela]

I feel like a spoilt brat reading all these posts.

I DO get a week off each year- I take a retreat. Sometimes I go away for weekends too. Twice I went to India for 3 weeks. Dh supports me in these things because for both of us our spirituality is of primary importance and these are the ways he supports me.

I am lucky because dh works from home- he has always been able to take care of the kids if I go out or go away. I take as much time as I need. It was harder when they were little because they wanted me specifically...but he made sure I go some time alone.

I take a nap every afternoon.

 

Also...I think marriage is difficult. Dh supports me in so many ways, and I adore him, but we are not similar people. We are very different people, and it has not been an easy marriage at all. However, I will say, when things get disconnected and mechanical.....I make a hell of a fuss. I will carry on until things have changed and fresh again. We fight- I dont think fighting is unhealthy for a marriage and I dont think never fighting is a sign of a good marriage. Sometimes it takes taking a risk to speak out your truth and say what you are feeling, whatever the cost, to make a change in your marriage for the better. If its better for you...it is going to be better for him too.

Our kids have watched us work through things... from storming out of the room and slamming the door, to having a yell, to calming down, to knowing we are talking things through behind closed doors...to seeing us smiling and reconciled. Marriage takes work. If my needs were not being met, like the OP's aren't, I wouldn't be quiet about it. It works two ways of course...you have to be willing to listen as well as speak.

[Rhonda in TX]

I would love at least a few days at home to myself. A week sounds heavenly!!

 

I do go on a scrapbook retreat once a year for 3 days, but I'm somebody who really craves "home alone" time. DH has orchestra rehearsals on Monday nights and has volunteered to take the kids with him whenever I want. I hate to send the kids because I know it's boring for them, but this year I'm going to send them with him every week. They'll survive, and it will give me a regular, much-needed break.

[PineFarmMom]

Yes, I do feel that way sometimes. Right now I do, actually. There are times I just want to sit and have a complete, uninterrupted time to think without having to discipline or correct or guide. A lot of the time I feel excited about my dc and homeschooling them, excited about our family. If I'm feeling weary and burnt out, it is usually because I do just need a break, even for a few hours.

[Mom2boys]

:grouphug:

 

Personally, I think it's critical & essential to have alone time/recharge time. And, I'm not talking about an hour or two here or there.

 

Over the years, I have told dh to take the kids for a few days (ranging from a couple of days to a bit more than a week) & let me stay home alone. It's awesome & there's no reason to feel guilt about it. He is a parent as much as I am a parent, so I don't see it as an imposition on him. He is as capable as parenting the children as I am. (Our methods may differ, but we're both capable & loving parents.) It's a great way to recharge your batteries, as well as giving your dh & kids time to bond on their own too. If it's not practical for him to leave w/ the kids, is there anyway you could get away for at least a weekend by yourself?

 

On the other side, I also have taken the kids on trips many, many times, leaving him at home alone. Granted, he's still working, but it gives him free evenings & weekends.

 

Time together AND time apart are essential for our family. We are a family, yet we are individuals too.

 

:iagree:

My husband takes the kids out for the entire day from time-to-time. My in-laws take them for several days about every other month (next week they will be gone 2 nights and 3 days). And, I get away once a year for three days to a homeschool convention with my friends. This is essential for my sanity.