We are interested in learning Russian, and there are so many options out there!! Could you share what you used and how successful it was? Blessings, Rita

DS (17) has been a life guard for the past 2 years. He also has worked at the Boy Scout camp an hour from us as a life guard in the summer (he worked 2 weeks last year, and will be working for 8 weeks straight this summer) DS (15) has worked at a horse barn on and off for 2 years. Rita

Remember you have a limited number of private message space. I try to keep my PM box fairly well cleaned out. Usually if someone replies to a pm I sent, they reply with the entire conversation, so I don't typically keep my original sent message :) Rita

It simply moves the post to the top of the list :) It "bumps" it up Rita

Martha, we did something similar with our elder boy in December. He turned 17 in November, and was taking some dual enrollment classes at our local small private college. He was also taking math with a tutor, and an online Latin class. He is rather directionless, and wasn't doing well. We gave him the option of staying home for school, taking more dual enrollment, but there were not many credits we could financially let him take, or go down to the local public school, but retaking the second half of his Sophomore year. We discussed the pros and cons of retaking 10th grade; including getting a really good grounding in math, and having "extra" time to take classes that he wouldn't have had the chance to if we put him in the second semester as a Junior. He is really settling in and doing well, and has found a subject that fascinates him...Psychology, something no one could have predicted! Friend wise, he has made several friends across the grade levels, and has kept his home school friends. Parenting is so hard! Rita

Replying to the bolded part of your comments: We have done this with him. We have sat down on several occasions and honestly listened to the music and discussed the lyrics with him. We have asked him WHY he likes the lyrics, and his response is "I don't know". I am trying to get him to think about the why aspect of it, without it becoming a sermon. I have to get off line here, but I value everyone's input into this! I will read all responses later on tonight :)

First off, thank you for praying for him and for me. :grouphug: Secondly, he has already told us he doesn't "want religion stuffed down his throat"...so I am not. What I am doing is trying to love him, and let him know that he is deeply loved regardless of his music choices. We don't refrain from mentioning Christ (never have, never will), we pray out loud before we eat, we try to make our relationship with the Lord alive (we always have). He still attends church with us without being asked....at least 2 Saturdays each month he and his brother spend the night with the associate pastor and his wife (they are like surrogate grandparents to our boys)....they both ask/beg to go over there. We are so blessed in that regard that we have other Godly people whom the boys adore. Thank you for your insight and prayers!

I wish I knew how to respond to you in your response! 1. Totally agree with what I bolded. I've told him that I like the music, just not the lyrics, and if he could find heavy (or even death) metal stuff that had no lyrics, I'd listen to it with him! 2. I couldn't agree more that he needs to own his own faith. We've talked with him about that....he needs to have a personal relationship with Jesus, not his parents' relationship. I had never thought about the fact that he might be using the music, etc during this time (what I bolded and underlined in your response). And just simply agreeing with the underlined sentences. It's so helpful to hash this out with others who have been there/done that, or just have a viewpoint about the situation.

I have thought about her over the last couple of months!

excellent points, and thanks for the unscientific take on it. We've thought some of those points, but hadn't sat down and wrote it out. I appreciate your insights.

Can you list some of the bands you 14yo listens to? I'm trying really hard to "eh" about it, but, boy, is that DIFFICULT. Great point about actions speaking louder than words, because he really is a terrific young adult. BUT, words are much more long lasting than actions. Think about when you have been hurt in the past...it's usually not a physical punch that you remember, but times when you were called a name, or told something hateful. Words stick in your head for a long time.

Amy, did you google Chelsea Grin? The fact that they named themselves after a torture method makes me wonder about them. Google their lyrics, any of their songs, but Crecabanger or Recreant are two that are telling examples of their thoughts.

I don't believe I have ever prayed so consistently for him, so that is a very good thing. Younger brother can't stand older brother's music, so that's not an issue (at the moment...younger bro just turned 15...his turn is coming)

He did the hair thing at 15 1/2...bleached it totally blond (he's naturally dark). Clothes haven't been an issue (much)....We've never battled his hair, cause I figure it'll grow out :lol:

I agree that he has not gone totally wild in his choice of rebellion, and am so incredibly thankful for that!

I believe that music DOES influence our attitudes and behavior. Music has a powerful impact on us...think about how music moves you...it can make you happy, and bring you to tears. The lyrics he is wanting to listen to are VILE...one song is all about the mutilation, r*pe, and murder of prostitutes. We are trying to prepare him for independence (which is still 2 years away as he is only a sophomore in high school). We are trying to teach him responsibility and to make good choices. Taking the iPod may not have been the best parenting thing we've done, but it's what came to mind when we found that he had deliberately disobeyed us. This parenting gig is HARD!!! I love the fact that there is a forum where we can discuss and help each other out on this road. Rita

He has been raised in a Christian home, and has made a profession for Christ, but is now really questioning if there is a God :( The trusted family I mentioned in the OP is the associate pastor of our church. He and his wife have raised 3 boys, run a group home (twice) for troubled teens, and my son ADORES them. We have asked them to talk with him, and they have. I agree with the fact that we have given him a solid point for attack. When he first started down the heavy metal path, we did try to just accept it. It wasn't until the death metal started that we put our foot down.

My elder son has always been tenderhearted and, for the most part, compliant. That changed when he hit 15 1/2 or so, and I understand the need for him to break free from his parents and be his own person. I get that it's part of growing up. But now, he's gone to totally unacceptable music choices. He's decided that he loves heavy metal, and not just heavy metal, but DEATH metal. We have sat down with him and tried to listen to it and see his perspective (when it was "just" heavy metal). What does not make this any easier is that a family at church that we HUGELY respect, have no problem with Christian heavy metal. And honestly, I try to not freak out over the heavy metal. But now, he's starting to download and listen to Chelsea Grin. I won't link to them, but if you do a google search, make sure there are no little eyes looking over your shoulders. When asked if he likes their lyrics, he said "I don't dislike them".....even after I read the lyrics aloud to him :( We've taken his iPod (again) (He was specifically told to NOT download Chelsea Grin, and after having the iPod back for 23 hours, he put them right back on it) I just would like some reassurance that he will come out of whatever teenage angst he is in and see our point of view. Right now he thinks we don't love him because we are disciplining him (I know, that's how teenagers think...I remember being there!) Anyone have some successful tips to share on how to keep loving the rebellious teenager and not lose my sanity?!?!

Can someone recommend a good career aptitude test? Our older boy is in 11th grade and has no clue what he'd like to do with his life. DH remembers taking aptitude tests in High School, and that they helped him to figure out what he wanted to do with his life. Thanks much, Rita

I agree with what other posters have said, but wanted to add that you can always pull him out after he starts. We have just started our 14yo ds in High School, and he's having some adjustment issues. He's only been there for 7 days, so we're letting him stay. For now. Subject to change, LOL! School decisions are HARD, and I would suggest keep praying about the situation, and listen to your DS, the Holy Spirit, and your mommy heart. :grouphug: Rita

I'm getting ready to use Spelling Power with the second round of kids, and I haven't used it for awhile, and I was looking for Paula's Archive's "quick start" info. I googled for it, and it appears to be gone :( Any one kept a copy of it, or know what happened to it? Or their own version? Thanks!! Rita

We're flying out of Dulles on Tuesday...how bad were the lines to get through security? thanks! Rita

I'm going to be in Addis Ababa for a few days...any insight on places to see? thanks! Rita

Thanks for the insight. We actually spent about an hour down there, and we're really excited about what's available, althought the Guidance Counselor was not extremely helpful (she's 2 years away from retiring, and should just go ahead and retire). She did tell us what the "typical" student in 9th grade does...yeah, we won't be doing that! She strongly recommended that he take the "typical" 9th grade science....his test score on Science this year was 99 (Iowa Basic)... I'm pretty sure he's already done all the Earth Science that they do in 9th grade, so we'll skip him up to Biology. He'll be in Geometry as he's already done Algebra I. I'm not sure about the other courses, as I'm now at work and don't have the paperwork in front of me. Virginia also has "Virtual Virginia" which is free to public school students, so he can take some more advanced classes "online" if needed. He's going to take a theater class, which I think he'll love as he's done some theater with the local college and really enjoyed it. They have a nice variety of sports that he can participate in too. Overall, we're quite pleased with the sounds of it. I do reserve the right to yank him back out of there if need be ;) Rita

We are talking to the local high school today about enrolling our rising 9th grade son. He's extremely bright, and we feel that he needs to be under some one else's authority, at least for awhile (it's a long story). Anybody successfully sent a home schooled boy to 9th grade public school? Advice? Questions to ask the school? Any input welcome :) Thanks! Rita