I find this story a bit odd....do you?....

[Tammy]

Here is the story... http://www.palmbeachpost.com/localnews/content/local_news/epaper/2009/06/22/0622wpbbaby.html?imw=Y

 

Would you just 'assume' your dh/dw brought in the baby? Wouldn't you say something like, "Honey, did you get the baby?" And certainly....after being home for TWO HOURS.....you are just now thinking of the baby?

 

It all seems odd to me.....

 

.

Edited June 23, 2009 by Tammy

[Aunty Social]

It is odd, but I can see it happening. I don't even remember the first three months of my oldest's. We went straight from the hospital to relatives, then to a long weekend in Canada with more friends and relatives, moved twice, went out of state to a wedding, and my dh was sleeping in the lab so he could finish his masters and get down here to his job! It's a miracle nothing happened to her, I was so out of it.

[katemary63]

Truly bizarre. How does something like this happen? I find it incomprehensible that neither of them noticed the neither of them had the baby for 2 hours.

[Gretchen in NJ]

I do not understand how this happens. It is just very bizzare to me to be able to forget about your baby being in the car.:001_huh:

[PiCO]

Truly bizarre. How does something like this happen? I find it incomprehensible that neither of them noticed the neither of them had the baby for 2 hours.

 

 

I don't find it incomprehensible at all. When my babies were 3 mos old, I was suffering from major sleep deprivation. There but for the grace of God go I.

[Garga]

I looked it up on Snopes to see what they said about this. (Because the Baby Left in a Hot Car scenario sounded like an Urban Legend to me.)

 

However, Snopes said that this is generally a true occurrence and that it happens more frequently than we all would like to imagine.

 

Of course, most of the occurrences cited by Snopes seemed to be by abysmally negligent parents/babysitters. Don't know what might have happened in this case. I can't imagine not knowing where my child was for 2 hours. But I guess if you really believed the other parent brought in the child and put him to bed...it might happen. I don't know.

[LizzyBee]

If the baby fell asleep in the car, they both could have assumed the other parent put her in the crib. Two hours would be about right to think the baby should be waking up from her nap now. So sad for those parents who have to live with this for the rest of their lives. You would think one of them would have confirmed with the other, hey, you did get the baby, right? But still, it scares me to think about how easily something like this could occur and I can't judge the parents. I imagine their guilt and grief must be overwhelming.

[Perry]

Depends. How many other kids are there? Were there plans to put the baby down for a nap when they got home? I could see it happening if the household is chaotic. But if it was an only child, that would seem strange. When my first was a baby, I was absolutely compulsive and knew her whereabouts every second of her life. That changed by the third baby, when I was sleep deprived, exhausted, and in a perpetual brain fog.

[Dobela]

How tragic! When my son was under the age of 2 we had a very scary incident happen like this. Fortunately my son was ok. I am a parent that has been called overprotective and it happened to me. I can see miscommunication happening and tragedy occuring. I read another case this week of a toddler drowing. In under 5 minutes the child was dead. He was going between his mom in one part of the house and his dad in another. They each assummed he didn't come back because he was going to the other parent. He instead went thru a pet door and slipped in the pool.

[bkpan]

I used to live in Florida, and then Nevada, and this is a very real tragedy that you could count on hearing about every summer. I definitely can see how this could happen.

 

Come home from outing - both tired , each one assumes that the other one got the baby and put her down for a nap...

 

We have a large family and it is easy to get distracted by all the details when you come home from an outing. As someone said, There but for the grace of God.... How I pity the horror that those parents will now have to live with. Lord have mercy.

 

Kim

[Stacia]

I think it's very hard to place judgement. Sadly, tragic accidents like this happen every year.

 

Perhaps each parent thought the other brought in the child & put it in the crib for a nap. Maybe they were preoccupied w/ other children, or other stresses in their life, maybe suffering from sleep deprivation, or .... Who knows?

 

But, it's just sad & tragic all the way around, imo.

[4kiddies]

What a terrible tragedy that these parents will have to live with for the rest of their lives.

[Perry]

I looked it up on Snopes to see what they said about this. (Because the Baby Left in a Hot Car scenario sounded like an Urban Legend to me.)

 

However, Snopes said that this is generally a true occurrence and that it happens more frequently than we all would like to imagine.

 

Of course, most of the occurrences cited by Snopes seemed to be by abysmally negligent parents/babysitters. Don't know what might have happened in this case. I can't imagine not knowing where my child was for 2 hours. But I guess if you really believed the other parent brought in the child and put him to bed...it might happen. I don't know.

 

 

We've had several of these locally in the past few years. In fact there is an article on the local news website about a two month old baby rescued form a hot car yesterday. It often doesn't end so well, unfortunately.

[gardening momma]

I looked it up on Snopes to see what they said about this. (Because the Baby Left in a Hot Car scenario sounded like an Urban Legend to me.)

This happens way too often. I only became aware of the issue last summer, but over and over last summer there were news reports of children (usually infants or toddlers) being left in a hot car. There were some locally, and some reports of other areas.

[KarenNC]

I looked it up on Snopes to see what they said about this. (Because the Baby Left in a Hot Car scenario sounded like an Urban Legend to me.)

 

However, Snopes said that this is generally a true occurrence and that it happens more frequently than we all would like to imagine.

 

Of course, most of the occurrences cited by Snopes seemed to be by abysmally negligent parents/babysitters. Don't know what might have happened in this case. I can't imagine not knowing where my child was for 2 hours. But I guess if you really believed the other parent brought in the child and put him to bed...it might happen. I don't know.

 

It happened here a couple of years ago. The dad (I think he was a veterinarian?) was supposed to drop the baby at daycare---mom usually did it so it wasn't part of his usual routine. The baby was young enough to be in the rear-facing seat, so it wasn't like he looked back and could see whether the kid was in the car or not, and the child may have been asleep so not making any noise. I don't remember if both parents had car seats in the car all the time or not. He evidently was preoccupied or fell into autopilot, went in to work and came out at the end of the day to find the baby dead.

 

We also had a 10 week old die a few years ago locally in a car that caught fire while his mother went into get his sibling from an afterschool program, leaving him and a 3 yo sibling in the car.

[JudoMom]

I used to live in Florida, and then Nevada, and this is a very real tragedy that you could count on hearing about every summer. I definitely can see how this could happen.

 

Come home from outing - both tired , each one assumes that the other one got the baby and put her down for a nap...

 

We have a large family and it is easy to get distracted by all the details when you come home from an outing. As someone said, There but for the grace of God.... How I pity the horror that those parents will now have to live with. Lord have mercy.

 

Kim

 

Exactly. I can see it happening. Those poor parents.

[OhM]

Every time I hear of a story like this, I say a little prayer of thanks and "there but for the grace of God go I"! I can completely imagine how exhaustion or a change in routine could have led to this, especially when I was still working, and I'm thankful that I stayed diligent enough at the right times to prevent it.

 

I grieve for that family. How hard that must be.

 

ETA: I really should read other posts before commenting! Kim - glad I'm not the only one.

Edited June 23, 2009 by OhM

[katilac]

Truly bizarre. How does something like this happen? I find it incomprehensible that neither of them noticed the neither of them had the baby for 2 hours.

 

My guess would be it was naptime, and they both assumed the parent that had (in their mind) taken him in from the car had also laid him down for a nap.

 

 

I do not understand how this happens. It is just very bizzare to me to be able to forget about your baby being in the car.:001_huh:

 

They didn't forget he was in the car; they thought the other parent had taken him inside.

[Tammy]

Yes but wouldn't you 'make sure'? It is like having groceries in the car.....and both parents helping get them out....would you just assume there were no more in there....or would you ASK your dh/dw? "Oh, did you get the rest of the groceries out of the car?" or "Is there anything left in the car?" Oh wait....yea OUR BABY!

[Jen in PA]

My grandmother tells the story of packing up the entire car and her oldest four kids to leave for vacation, My grandfather had just left for work, and was planning on meeting up with the rest of the family the following week. As she was opening the door to get in and drive off, a neighbor came over and asked about the vacation plans. As the neighbor was walking away, she asked to see the baby..... who was inside the house, asleep in the crib, totally forgotten in all of the excitement. And since the baby tended to sleep while the car was in motion, my grandmother figured it would have been a few hours before she noticed anything was wrong. That story ran through my mind quite a bit when my kids were infants. Scary.

[mommaduck]

Please put a warning that the link is disturbing in the title. I would not have opened the link had I known.

[Tammy]

How is the link title disturbing?

[mommaduck]

How is the link title disturbing?

The link...the article is disturbing. Generally a warning is placed in the title of threads dealing with child death and such. I was asking if you would please edit the title of the thread to include a warning.

[Tammy]

I guess I didn't realize this was so disturbing....

 

I did change the title...but it doesn't look to be showing up properly until you open it.....

 

.

[joannqn]

I can see it happening given that I nearly left my oldest son in the car as an infant. Fortunately, my then 2 year old reminded me he was there. I totally forgot that I had a baby again.

 

Another time, I forgot the same child, then 2, at home. There was a lot going on. I was stressed trying to deal with it all and in a rush to get my daughter from preschool. I was so preoccupied with the fact that I was late picking her up that I ran out of the house without him. Fortunately, there was another adult in the house...who didn't expect to be babysitting.

[katilac]

Yes but wouldn't you 'make sure'? It is like having groceries in the car.....and both parents helping get them out....would you just assume there were no more in there....or would you ASK your dh/dw? "Oh, did you get the rest of the groceries out of the car?" or "Is there anything left in the car?" Oh wait....yea OUR BABY!

 

I'm assuming that something WAS said, but was misunderstood.

[jplain]

Anyone who thinks that this type of accidental death has got to be the result of negligence should read this article: Fatal Distraction.

:sad: It could happen to anyone, and the article explains why.

Warning: This article contains graphic and horribly tragic content.

Edited June 24, 2009 by jplain
edited to add warning

[Renee in NC]

It happens often enough every summer that I carry this around in my head as a fear. What if I did forget the baby in the car? I can't imagine how terrible it is for those parents! Their baby is dead because of a miscommunication - one they can never rectify.

[Melissa in Australia]

every year there are children left in cars here that are found too late. it is just so awful. I know a family with 9 children who regularly leave their children asleep in their car. I am telling the mother all the time that it isn't a good idea. she has visited me with her children and just leaves the 3 sleeping babies in the car! I am always telling her, you can't leave the kids in the car. it is 45oC in the greenhouse with all the doors open. etc. while she is visiting, I make her wake the kids up and take them out of the car, but I know she leaves them in the car elsewhere.

[bkpan]

Anyone who thinks that this type of accidental death has got to be the result of negligence should read this article: Fatal Distraction.

 

:sad: It could happen to anyone, and the article explains why.

 

That was so hard to read. Lord have mercy.

[katemary63]

Yes but wouldn't you 'make sure'? It is like having groceries in the car.....and both parents helping get them out....would you just assume there were no more in there....or would you ASK your dh/dw? "Oh, did you get the rest of the groceries out of the car?" or "Is there anything left in the car?" Oh wait....yea OUR BABY!

 

This is what I think. I would have said to my DH, "You get the baby, I'll ...(whatever)" after our trip was over. Was there no communication? What happened? I just can't imagine how it happened with two parents right there. Sorry, I just can't. I'm not blaming. I just don't understand it. That's all.

[dirty ethel rackham]

My grandmother tells the story of packing up the entire car and her oldest four kids to leave for vacation, My grandfather had just left for work, and was planning on meeting up with the rest of the family the following week. As she was opening the door to get in and drive off, a neighbor came over and asked about the vacation plans. As the neighbor was walking away, she asked to see the baby..... who was inside the house, asleep in the crib, totally forgotten in all of the excitement. And since the baby tended to sleep while the car was in motion, my grandmother figured it would have been a few hours before she noticed anything was wrong. That story ran through my mind quite a bit when my kids were infants. Scary.

 

A famous family story ... my parents were leaving on vacation with their then 4 kids and grandma. Everyone was getting stuff into the car and grandma was supposed to get the baby - my sister. They were gone at least 30 minutes before someone commented on how quiet the baby was ... WHAT - NO BABY? My sister was at home, asleep in the crib.

 

I can totally see the situation happening due to miscommunication and sleep deprivation. I still have nightmares that I have left my children somewhere. When my 2nd child went through a terrible phase of not sleeping, I was a zombie. I remember one incident where I had gotten into the car, backed out of the driveway and arrived at an unplanned location (like 20 minutes in the opposite direction of the planned destination) with no memory of how I got there. I got help to get naps after that happened.

[SonshineLearner]

When I had littles, I made a "rule" for myself, that I always left the windows down enough for air exchange to happen. This way, forgetting would not mean certain death. I thought that it was a young person's issue, the thing about not realizing that a closed car is like steaming whatever's in it, UNTIL I had to go into a restaurant to get a couple because their dog was in the car panting hard..... When they came out, they looked at it and said something about "silly dog, you were suppose to stay in the shade" (they had left a towel hanging from one of the closed windows.

Anyway, windows down is a great caution. I've heard of these all too often. In MI, 5 years ago, there were 5 stories...I think...ranging from mostly deaths...to one case where a dad who went on a drinking binge...led police back to his car where toddler was strapped in...lucky kid...he was ok. (I think car windows were down and he had parked under a carport type thing)

Anyway.....It happens!

Carrie

[LibraryLover]

A famous family story ... my parents were leaving on vacation with their then 4 kids and grandma. Everyone was getting stuff into the car and grandma was supposed to get the baby - my sister. They were gone at least 30 minutes before someone commented on how quiet the baby was ... WHAT - NO BABY? My sister was at home, asleep in the crib.

 

I can totally see the situation happening due to miscommunication and sleep deprivation. I still have nightmares that I have left my children somewhere. When my 2nd child went through a terrible phase of not sleeping, I was a zombie. I remember one incident where I had gotten into the car, backed out of the driveway and arrived at an unplanned location (like 20 minutes in the opposite direction of the planned destination) with no memory of how I got there. I got help to get naps after that happened.

 

Yes. There is no way I could be smug about such a tragedy.

 

Exhaustion is a major issue when one has a newborn.

 

However, even that aside (my kids do sleep through the night at this point) one *never* knows the trials that can be faced in a seemingly ordinary day that might have a person letting their guard down. Humans are tremendously frail.

 

There but by the grace of G-d. And all.

Edited June 24, 2009 by LibraryLover

[Renee in NC]

That was so hard to read. Lord have mercy.

 

It was interesting how it explained that people have to separate themselves from things because it is human nature to want to live in a world where bad things won't happen to you because you are responsible and diligent.

 

I think that is true with LOTS of things. People have to create a reality where bad situations and bad things only happen to those who are irresponsible, negligent, and/or of bad character.

 

I learned in the past few years that about the time I feel superior to someone else by thinking I would never do that, it could never happen here because of I am not like that, etc. that it seems to happen.:crying:

[LibraryLover]

It was interesting how it explained that people have to separate themselves from things because it is human nature to want to live in a world where bad things won't happen to you because you are responsible and diligent.

 

I think that is true with LOTS of things. People have to create a reality where bad situations and bad things only happen to those who are irresponsible, negligent, and/or of bad character.

 

I learned in the past few years that about the time I feel superior to someone else by thinking I would never do that, it could never happen here because of I am not like that, etc. that it seems to happen.:crying:

 

 

Yes.

 

And here's the thing:

 

 

Perhaps we can be sure we won't do the particular horrible thing that is all over the news. We can say, 'That family is *not like us*'.

 

But can we be sure that another, different sort of tragedy might pass us by?

 

Thankfully many of us don't have a child who drowned, don't have a child with cancer, never lost a child in a hot car, never had a child join the army and die in Iraq; therefore we can believe such things happen only to 'other people'. After all, 'my child would never be near open water, or want to join the armed forces. My child only eats organic food, so she won't get cancer'.

 

It's natural to want to distance ourselves from trauma.

[Lovedtodeath]

 

If the baby fell asleep in the car, they both could have assumed the other parent put her in the crib. Two hours would be about right to think the baby should be waking up from her nap now. So sad for those parents who have to live with this for the rest of their lives. You would think one of them would have confirmed with the other, hey, you did get the baby, right? But still, it scares me to think about how easily something like this could occur and I can't judge the parents. I imagine their guilt and grief must be overwhelming.

:iagree:

[Renee in NC]

Yes.

 

And here's the thing:

 

 

Perhaps we can be sure we won't do the particular horrible thing that is all over the news. We can say, 'That family is *not like us*'.

 

But can we be sure that another, different sort of tragedy might pass us by?

 

Thankfully many of us don't have a child who drowned, don't have a child with cancer, never lost a child in a hot car, never had a child join the army and die in Iraq; therefore we can believe such things happen only to 'other people'. After all, 'my child would never be near open water, or want to join the armed forces. My child only eats organic food, so she won't get cancer'.

 

It's natural to want to distance ourselves from trauma.

 

Exactly. No one wants to think of a horrible tragedy in their lives. It's protection almost, as a way to keep people from constant worry.

[KidsHappen]

Anyone who thinks that this type of accidental death has got to be the result of negligence should read this article: Fatal Distraction.

 

:sad: It could happen to anyone, and the article explains why.

 

This is an excellent article and it really needs to be read by all parents. It can happen to anyone, even you. But for the grace of God . . .

[Lovedtodeath]

This is an excellent article and it really needs to be read by all parents. It can happen to anyone, even you. But for the grace of God . . .

I am very very upset that I read this and now I will not be able to sleep. I feel sick. I really don't think that I needed to read it.

 

ETA: Yes, I definitely should not have read it. I will never have another baby, so I really didn't need the warning. I was up until dawn. I got 3 hours of sleep and had colitis attacks. It was very, very disturbing. They really didn't need to put all of the details in about suffering, etc. to get their point across.

Edited June 24, 2009 by Lovedtodeath

[KidsHappen]

My hubby left my infant dd in the car once. Luckily, he was coming to me at the time so when he showed up without the baby, I immediately asked where she was and he said that he thought I had her. I told him no that he had taken her with him. This was followed by the OMG!!! and then the mad sprint to the parking lot. She was sound asleep in the back seat in her car seat. The entire exchange took maybe all of five minutes and happened in the middle of fall in TX so we were extraordinarily blessed but every time I read about one of these cases I think about how much worse it could have been.

 

I honestly believe that the car manufacturers and law makers are partly responsible for this. My younger children rode in the front seat with me where I could see them. This sort of thing was almost unheard of 20 years ago. Now that we have front seat air bags and laws requiring children in rear facing seats in the back seat out of their parents site, there are 10 to 25 fatal cases each year in America. It happens all the time. The article below explains how and why this happens.

[unsinkable]

Yes.

 

And here's the thing:

 

 

Perhaps we can be sure we won't do the particular horrible thing that is all over the news. We can say, 'That family is *not like us*'.

 

But can we be sure that another, different sort of tragedy might pass us by?

 

Thankfully many of us don't have a child who drowned, don't have a child with cancer, never lost a child in a hot car, never had a child join the army and die in Iraq; therefore we can believe such things happen only to 'other people'. After all, 'my child would never be near open water, or want to join the armed forces. My child only eats organic food, so she won't get cancer'.

 

It's natural to want to distance ourselves from trauma.

 

I agree.

[Mom0012]

Honestly, it doesn't seem odd to me at all that the sleep-deprived parents of a new baby could have a misunderstanding and make a mistake. This is a mistake with horrible, unbearable consequences, but really, it's one that any of us could make. I truly feel for the parents and it just makes me cringe to think of the horror they must feel.

 

Lisa

Edited June 24, 2009 by LisaTheresa

[OH_Homeschooler]

My worst nightmare, and I can see it happening too. Especially if it's your first, and you have a change in routine, and yes, the sleep deprivation. I hate reading stories like this but I do so I will always have that fresh reminder.

 

I saw a story like this on Oprah, and I believe they are repeating that episode this week, either today or tomorrow. Truly hard to watch, but wow, powerful.

[Mom0012]

Every time I hear of a story like this, I say a little prayer of thanks and "there but for the grace of God go I"!

 

This is exactly what I think when I hear these things as well.

 

Lisa

[OH_Homeschooler]

I honestly believe that the car manufacturers and law makers are partly responsible for this. My younger children rode in the front seat with me where I could see them. This sort of thing was almost unheard of 20 years ago. Now that we have front seat air bags and laws requiring children in rear facing seats in the back seat out of their parents site, there are 10 to 25 fatal cases each year in America. It happens all the time. The article below explains how and why this happens.

 

Perhaps, but I am sure that the lives saved as a result of keeping babies in the back seat far exceeds the deaths due to babies being left in the car. And there are little tricks any parent can do to remember their child, like keeping their purse in the backseat. For awhile with my first, I kept a string in the car seat when I took my baby out, then when I put her in I tied it around my finger, so I either had a string or a baby with me at all times.

[cathmom]

I read this thread last night and the article called Fatal Distraction. Just really, really horrible and I feel for these people. I can see it happening. Back when my two oldest dc were babies, I very often had their car seats in the front with me, and with my oldest, I turned him around when he reached 20 lbs, which was about 8 months old. That was the dark ages, when car seats were just beginning to be used a lot.

[Misty]

I can see that happening... Especially with new parents... Both probably assumed that the other put the baby in the crib to finish her nap... Sad story.

[KidsHappen]

I am very very upset that I read this and now I will not be able to sleep. I feel sick. I really don't think that I needed to read it.

 

 

I agree that it is very disturbing and I am sorry that you are so upset. I really am. Perhaps I should have prefaced the "every parent really needs to read this" by IMO. I do believe that sometimes as a parent you have to consider the terrible things that could happen so that you are aware and can take active steps to prevent them from happening. It is not always pleasant or easy but I do believe that it is important. I would like to share a personal experience that demonstrates this by telling you about a dream my 17 year old had. The material below is disstressing but not graphic however if you think that it maybe upsetting to you please don't read any farther.

 

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Recently, My 17 year old had a nightmare about my youngest playing in the car and causing an accident in which she (the youngest) died. She (the 17 year old) woke up hysterical and cried for half an hour. She was so upset that it tramatized the whole family. We all cried. Now we were already very mindful and careful about this issue because I have heard of cases of this happening. My children know to never play in a car and we generally keep the car locked but now we are extra viligent about it. Although her dream was very upsetting for us it also really impacted the younger two and made them realize just why it is so important that they obey this rule. It also brought to the forefront of the mind for the drivers in the family just how important it is to keep the car locked. The whole episode was very distressing but I believe that it served a useful purpose. My hope was that that article would do the same for other parents.

[Mom22ns]

A few years ago this happened to the sister of my dear friend. She and her husband arrived at church. They each somehow thought the other one had gotten the baby out of the car. They each assumed the other had dropped the baby in the nursery. It wasn't until a couple of fatal hours later she went to pick up the baby from the nursery and found she wasn't there.

 

It was horrible for the entire family. It was not my church where it happened, but a church about an hour away in a small town. It did seem unimaginable, yet there it was, a dead baby, a devastated family. It was one of the most damaging things for all those involved and around those involved that I've ever known. It tore apart the church and family. Too much sadness and blame.