familiarity breeding contempt - polite question

[Murphy101]

ug.

what is it with people?

my dh's name is not "Bob. If he wanted to be called "Bob" that is how he would sign or introduce himself. It's tacky and it's rude to call him "Bob" instead of Robert or Mr. Soandso.

 

same goes for me.

My name is Martha or Mrs. Soandso.

Not whatever nickname you think works or what you hear my dh calling me. If I wanted you to call me by those names, that's how I'd have introduced myself or signed my name.

 

ug.

 

this has happened no less than FIVE times to my dh and twice to me this week alone. sometimes in person, sometimes via written exchange.

 

is there a polite way to handle this? It happens to my dh a LOT, but only once in a while to me. this week is some sort of weird thing I guess.

[newlifemom]

I wish I knew. My son's name is Timothy, not Timmy! We have good friends that we have corrected who continue to call him, Timmy.:glare:

They also call my MIL, (Margaret) Marge. What is that about? I know absolutely no one who calls her Marge. She has never referred to herself as Marge and yet, they always call her Marge. Now for the real strange one. Dh, Mike was in an orchestra for years and this violist insisted on calling him, Dave.:confused: Dh corrected him for about 3-5 years and then gave up. Guy, on last day he was in orchestra said, "Good-bye Mike."

 

 

 

 

Whatever.

[myfunnybunch]

I would just politely correct them with a smile. "Actually, I prefer Robert. :) "

 

Well, *I* wouldn't say Robert. It might be pretty funny if I did, though.

 

In situations like that I try to remember that the other folks are probably just trying to be friendly and don't have any clue that it's grating to you.

 

I read your post and thought, "Hmmm, 'Soandso' is such an interesting last name. I wonder where that surname originated."

 

Oh.

 

Doh.

 

Cat

[Jean in Newcastle]

I tell people who try to call ds by a nickname "Oh, we're purists. He goes by ________". Then I laugh. The next time they try it I say the exact same thing. They usually get the point and call him by his name.

 

The only ones who have not done so are his cousins who decided that it didn't matter what he preferred and since they were cousins they had the right to call him what they wanted. :glare: But that's ok - he got his cousin Maria back when he was a toddler by innocently calling her "Diarrhea"!

 

Now dh has the opposite problem. He has a really unusual nickname which he has used as a given name since birth. But since it is so unusual people often say it wrong - usually when they do so it comes out as a woman's name! But I give them a little mnemonic to help them remember and that usually works.

[SherryTX]

If I am talking to someone that has contact me via email, etc., I will use the name that person uses in their signature. If I meet someone and am introduced to them by some one else (or given their name by some one else ahead of time) I will ask what they preferred to be called.

 

I found it REALLY irritating that a co-worker would talk about my daughter Rebecca and refer to her as "Becky". No offense to anyone here that goes by that nickname or has kids with that nickname, but I HATE the name Becky. I politely told her that she goes by Rebecca. It took a few times though.

 

Much to my annoyance, my daughter decided in 2nd grade to go by Becky on her own. Argh. So I didn't correct her teachers or her friends, and said that's fine, but I am going to call you Rebecca. She was fine with that.

 

I have interacted with a lot of people that have their full name on their resume, but prefer to be called by a nickname. This is why I try to be really anal retentive and pay attention to what they use for a signature in email, or what the leave on my voice mail. I think it would really annoy me if I had a name that people just assumed what my nickname was without asking first.

[Amber in SJ]

I get something like this all the time, only it is never a diminutive of my name it is just the wrong name. A lovely woman, who had just moved into our church, called me "Ginger" for almost a year despite everyone including me correcting her. Last week at church the leader was making the announcements & referred to me repeatedly as "Heather." I glanced behind me several times to see who Heather was. One woman at the park insists on calling me "Suzy-Q" (which I don't answer to) because, in her words, "I can never remember your name!" The children's librarian calls me "Violet" and I see her twice a month for the past six months. I don't think my name, Amber, is that difficult to remember and I don't know any other Ambers in real life, so we are not overrun with the name. It is just plain weird. It is possible that I am utterly forgettable. Maybe I should sign-up for the CIA, to be a spy. To be honest, I almost liked Ginger, because in my everyday life I think I am more Mary Ann than Ginger.

 

Amber in SJ

[Lovedtodeath]

I would just politely correct them with a smile. "Actually, I prefer Robert. :) "

 

Well, *I* wouldn't say Robert. It might be pretty funny if I did, though.

 

In situations like that I try to remember that the other folks are probably just trying to be friendly and don't have any clue that it's grating to you.

 

I read your post and thought, "Hmmm, 'Soandso' is such an interesting last name. I wonder where that surname originated."

 

Oh.

 

Doh.

 

Cat

 

Wow! You are making me :lol: :lol: :lol:

[alegnab]

I've had that problem all my life. I'll tell somebody that my name is Angela, and then they'll immediately call me Angie. I absolutely hate that name. I always correct them. I also don't respond to Angie if they call me that again. People do the same thing with ds#1's name. People often turn it into ----y. I love his name, but I hate the standard nickname for it. I correct people on his, too. Why can't people understand that when they ask you your name, you tell them what you want to be called by them?

[*********]

Um, yeah.

 

I HATE IT when people call me Beth. HATE. IT. That's not my name. And that's certainly not how I introduced myself to you, thankyouverymuch.

 

No one calls me that. Because they all know I hate it, LOL.

So when a stranger, to whom I've of course introduced myself as BethANY, decides to call me 'Beth', I have to make a deicision. If it's someone who I think I'll be interacting with on ANY sort of regular basis, I immediately correct them. And people have actually had the NERVE to give me a 'look' about it. Um, excuse me, YOU'RE the one who was rude. :D

 

If it's someone who I don't think I'll be dealing with frequently enough for it to bother me, then I don't say anything; I just inwardly cringe. But I can't stand it. And I make a point not to do it to others.

 

Can you tell this is a pet peeve of mine? :lol:

[Jean in Newcastle]

Why can't people understand that when they ask you your name, you tell them what you want to be called by them?

 

Actually when I was young, someone at a new church asked me "And what is your first name?" Being literal - I told her. My parents were really surprised to hear all the kids calling me by that name - I've always gone by my middle name!:D

[2greatkids]

I would just politely correct them with a smile. "Actually, I prefer Robert. :) "

 

:iagree:

 

Well, *I* wouldn't say Robert. It might be pretty funny if I did, though.

 

:lol:

 

In situations like that I try to remember that the other folks are probably just trying to be friendly and don't have any clue that it's grating to you.

[angela in ohio]

Just call me Angie.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And I won't answer.... :glare: JK, I am actually pretty easy--going about it.

 

I do really dislike it when other people give my kiddos different nicknames, especially when it is people we dont know well enough for them to have a "pet name" for my child.

 

One of my biggest pet peeves is when a sales clerk calls me by my first name after looking at my credit card. If I don't know you (and usually you are considerably younger than me,) my name is Mrs. ____ to you.

Edited May 15, 2009 by angela in ohio

[LND1218]

I would just politely correct them with a smile. "Actually, I prefer Robert. :) "

 

Well, *I* wouldn't say Robert. It might be pretty funny if I did, though.

 

In situations like that I try to remember that the other folks are probably just trying to be friendly and don't have any clue that it's grating to you.

 

I read your post and thought, "Hmmm, 'Soandso' is such an interesting last name. I wonder where that surname originated."

 

Oh.

 

Doh.

 

 

:iagree:

 

I agree and I was doing the same thing. I was reading it going huh I wonder that is supposed to be pronounced. LOL! :tongue_smilie:

[Danestress]

My Mom (a yankee) says that southerners are far better about calling people by their full names. Half of us give children two names and expect people to take the time to call them both. I have several cousins with two names and there are no short cuts allowed!

 

I do think, though, that you should ask your husband not to call you publically by a name you don't want others to use (other than a term of endearment). If your name is Susan and your husband calls you Susie, people are simply going to pick up on that and assume that your husband calls you your preferred name. Of course, if he's calling you, "baby doll" then I think you can expect them not to use that:)

[Ria]

Goodness, it's not as if people are trying to offend; they're just clueless. Let it go.

 

Ria (really Maria, who has been called "Marie" more times than I can count. I smile, correct them, and let. it. go.)

[Sumiller]

My Mom (a yankee) says that southerners are far better about calling people by their full names. Half of us give children two names and expect people to take the time to call them both. I have several cousins with two names and there are no short cuts allowed!

 

I do think, though, that you should ask your husband not to call you publically by a name you don't want others to use (other than a term of endearment). If your name is Susan and your husband calls you Susie, people are simply going to pick up on that and assume that your husband calls you your preferred name. Of course, if he's calling you, "baby doll" then I think you can expect them not to use that:)

 

Perhaps I'm an oddball here but with my name being Susan, I have answered to any number of nicknames. For example, my dear husband calls me Susi, my mom and siblings call me Sue, my nieces/nephews call me Aunt Susie, when I was younger my Mom loved to call me either Susie-Q or Susie Cucumber (not sure where this one came from). I have a few aquaintances who call me Susan and I have to say that for the most part people always ask me what I prefer and I always say. . "I'll answer to any of them!"

 

Can you tell I'm a people pleaser??;)

[SherryTX]

Just don't call me late for dinner, and all will be fine!

[Garga]

I have a friend named Michael. We called him Mike for a long time, not realizing that he didn't like it. One day when we said, "Hi Mike!" He said, "I prefer to go by Michael."

 

We've only called him Michael ever since. No biggie.

[Krista in LA]

My grandmother had the opposite problem. Her name was Millie but people often called her Mildred thinking that Millie was short for that.

 

I fixed that problem with my kids - they both have short names with no real nicknames you could give them. Keeps it simple that way.

[kaylk in tx]

the first time my boys went to swim lessons with this awesome coach, she introduced herself as "Kimberlee, not Kim".... Maybe your husband could use the same strategy when he introduces himself to new people...

[nukeswife]

I completely see where you're coming from. My name is Kelly, but I prefer Kel. I prefer Kel because I have no middle name so my mom has always called me Kel, unless I was BIG trouble, then she used Kelly becasue there was no first and middle name to call. She always said I never needed a middle name and I'm good with that.

 

My sons don't have too much trouble, our oldest is Everett who we usually call Ev (short e sound) but he goes by either and often answers to monkey butt, or goober monkey too. My youngest is Lucas, and hates being called Luke. If someone uses Luke, he'll pipe up right away with "I'm not a Luke I'm a Lucas" but he will answer to Luka, or Luka Paducah (don't ask me where this came from, I'm not sure) My dd has the most trouble her first name is Annika (pronounced On i kuh with a short i sound), but also like Anna (ah nuh), although many try to say it uh KNEE kuh, or worse will call her Ann or Annie, She hates when someone gets her name wrong and will correct them immediately. She loves using her first and middle name which is my preference for her it just sounds pretty so me. So to me she's always Annika Clare. With all the trouble it can cause sometimes I wish I would have just named her Clare.

 

So I say keep correcting and if they insist on calling you and he by names you don't like, ignore them. They'll eventually get the hint.

[Guest Virginia Dawn]

My grandmother had the opposite problem. Her name was Millie but people often called her Mildred thinking that Millie was short for that.

 

I fixed that problem with my kids - they both have short names with no real nicknames you could give them. Keeps it simple that way.

 

My dh has this problem too. He is just plain Joe but so many people call have called him Joseph.

 

We don't do nicknames either. 4 out of my 5 kids have names that people commonly change into shortened versions, but they don't go by them because that is not what dh and I named them.

[JFSinIL]

Folks wanted to call one of my twins Joey when he was smaller...I corrected them "He is Joe...since his cousin is the Joey of the family." Knowing a good reason helped folks remember to call him Joe.

[pooh bear]

I purposefully chose a name for my son that could not be shortened, Devon.

 

Expect my MIL insists on spelling it wrong. Devin, Deven, Divon, Diven, Divin.

 

She will not spell it the correct way. You would think after 9 years she would get it. DEVON. How hard is that?

[stripe]

I get something like this all the time, only it is never a diminutive of my name it is just the wrong name. A lovely woman, who had just moved into our church, called me "Ginger" for almost a year despite everyone including me correcting her. Last week at church the leader was making the announcements & referred to me repeatedly as "Heather." I glanced behind me several times to see who Heather was. One woman at the park insists on calling me "Suzy-Q" (which I don't answer to) because, in her words, "I can never remember your name!" The children's librarian calls me "Violet" and I see her twice a month for the past six months. I don't think my name, Amber, is that difficult to remember and I don't know any other Ambers in real life, so we are not overrun with the name. It is just plain weird. It is possible that I am utterly forgettable. Maybe I should sign-up for the CIA, to be a spy. To be honest, I almost liked Ginger, because in my everyday life I think I am more Mary Ann than Ginger.

I had the same problem all through school.

[Leah]

I would just politely correct them with a smile. "Actually, I prefer Robert. :) "

 

Well, *I* wouldn't say Robert. It might be pretty funny if I did, though.

 

In situations like that I try to remember that the other folks are probably just trying to be friendly and don't have any clue that it's grating to you.

 

I read your post and thought, "Hmmm, 'Soandso' is such an interesting last name. I wonder where that surname originated."

 

Oh.

 

Doh.

 

Cat

 

I too was intrigued by that name! It was your note that made the light go on.

 

Major doh...

[pooh bear]

I would just politely correct them with a smile. "Actually, I prefer Robert. :) "

 

Well, *I* wouldn't say Robert. It might be pretty funny if I did, though.

 

In situations like that I try to remember that the other folks are probably just trying to be friendly and don't have any clue that it's grating to you.

 

I read your post and thought, "Hmmm, 'Soandso' is such an interesting last name. I wonder where that surname originated."

 

Oh.

 

Doh.

 

Cat

 

I was trying to pronounce it with different accents. Spanish sounded the best.

[Renthead Mommy]

I completely see where you're coming from. My name is Kelly, but I prefer Kel. I prefer Kel because I have no middle name so my mom has always called me Kel, unless I was BIG trouble, then she used Kelly becasue there was no first and middle name to call. She always said I never needed a middle name and I'm good with that.

 

 

Okay now this is funny. It wasn't until I read this that I realized that in a over 4 year relationship, I bet my ex boyfriend called me Kelly maybe 10 times. He always refered to me as Kel. He'd introduce me and refer to me as Kelly, but always called me Kel.

 

I have however realized that I've only ever called my husband David. Lots of people call him Dave, he'll even refer to himself as Dave, but I've always called him David.

 

My son's name you can't shorten or do anything to really. And I don't worry about other people using his nickname. I just don't see his future highschool aged buddies calling him Pookie! ;)

[Nicole M]

I purposefully chose a name for my son that could not be shortened, Devon.

 

Expect my MIL insists on spelling it wrong. Devin, Deven, Divon, Diven, Divin.

 

She will not spell it the correct way. You would think after 9 years she would get it. DEVON. How hard is that?

 

Now that's a whole 'nuther thread, the spelling thing. My mother finally spelled my son's name correctly -- on his 17th birthday. Seventeen years! And his name is Eli. Three letters! How can you mess that up? Absurd. We'll see if it sticks, though, whether she can spell it correctly next year.

 

We just laugh about it. I hope you guys do, too.

[Kalypso]

I am a Kelly, and I prefer Kelly. Only a few close friends and family members call me Kel occasionally, so it grates on me when someone I don't know calls me that. The worst offender for me was my OB when I was pg with my first child. It made me cringe when he called me Kel because it felt like he was being too friendly with me.:tongue_smilie:

[OnTheBrink]

One of my biggest pet peeves is when a sales clerk calls me by my first name after looking at my credit card. If I don't know you (and usually you are considerably younger than me,) my name is Mrs. ____ to you.

 

OH yeah! I hate this. I especially hate it when I'm called "honey" or "sweetie" by anyone I'm not married to. Since I'm not married, that pretty much eliminates everyone. I'M NOT YOUR HONEY!

 

And, just because you can see my first name on my check, it doesn't give you permission to call me Michelle. We're not friends; you may call me Ms or Mrs Mylastname.

 

And, there's a lady at church who has called me Nancy for at least 7 years. She's an elderly lady, and I've tried to gently correct her, but she forgets, I guess, or thinks I look like a Nancy. Either way, I let it go. She's old. It's no big deal. LOL One time she told me she was praying for me. I figured some Nancy somewhere was getting a boatload of blessings. :lol:

[AndyJoy]

Both the name boy & girl names dh and I have picked for the baby can't be easily shortened into nicknames. My dh is Jason, and HATES being called Jay, Jas, or J.T. He only has one friend who is allowed to call him Jas. He likes pet names or nicknames that aren't versions of his name. He is very into giving pet names to other people. Sometimes I have trouble remembering the real names of some of my college friends as the names he gave them were usually adopted by everyone (they liked them, by the way).

 

My freshman year of college, this girl named Laura continued to pronounce my name as AUN-dree-uh instead of AN-dree-uh even after I corrected her numerous times. It was annoying to me, but I just continued to correct her. It drove my friend Sarah crazy, however. One day she cornered Laura and asked her why she continued to pronounce my name incorrectly. "Oh, where I come from, only HICKS are called AN-dree-uh!" was her response. I thought this was pretty funny coming from a girl who grew up on a dairy farm.:D Though it was juvenile, Sarah and I spent the rest of the year calling her Lara instead of Laura. She didn't seem to get it, however, as she kept correcting us.:lol:

[Guest Katia]

I was trying to pronounce it with different accents. Spanish sounded the best.

 

Now, see, I thought it looked Japanese, so I was trying the Japanese sound....:lol:

[pooh bear]

Now, see, I thought it looked Japanese, so I was trying the Japanese sound....:lol:

 

:rofl:

 

I didn't try Japanese. That does sound good.

[Kay in Cal]

Wow. No one EVER calls me Mrs. _______. I would probably fall over in a faint! I call everyone by thier first name. Exceptions I can think of include: medical doctors. But if I knew them socially, not as a patient, you bet I'd use thier first name. Also my bishop... I call her Bishop Swenson. But I call her husband by his first name, not Mr. Swenson (which I'm not even sure IS his last name). I try to use the names people give me (I don't make up nicknames) but if I heard you calling your spouse "Bob", I'd assume that was OK, regardless of how I was formally introduced. Not so much if you called him "Sweet-cheeks", or some such.

 

I remember when we first moved to California it seemed odd that when they ask for your name at a restaurant (for reservations) they want your FIRST name. I'm not sure--is everywhere on a first name basis now (I've lived out here almost 20 years), or is it just a west coast thing?

 

Maybe it's because I never heard my mom called Mrs.--in formal situations she was "Captain" (the earliest I remember), "Major", eventually "Colonel"--never Mrs. Though she, like me, uses her middle name and is called Kay.

[Audrey]

ug.

what is it with people?

my dh's name is not "Bob. If he wanted to be called "Bob" that is how he would sign or introduce himself. It's tacky and it's rude to call him "Bob" instead of Robert or Mr. Soandso.

 

same goes for me.

My name is Martha or Mrs. Soandso.

Not whatever nickname you think works or what you hear my dh calling me. If I wanted you to call me by those names, that's how I'd have introduced myself or signed my name.

 

ug.

 

this has happened no less than FIVE times to my dh and twice to me this week alone. sometimes in person, sometimes via written exchange.

 

is there a polite way to handle this? It happens to my dh a LOT, but only once in a while to me. this week is some sort of weird thing I guess.

 

 

I understand. Completely. I do not like it when anyone thinks they can call me "Aud" instead of Audrey.

 

The only person who could ever, ever, ever call me that was my father. That was his thing only. He is gone now, and I will say that it actually pains me to hear someone else call me that now. I miss him. Calling me "Aud" just makes me feel it that much more sharply.

Edited May 15, 2009 by Audrey

[snickelfritz]

I would assume it's ok, and probably preferred. However, I don't shorten names on my own.

 

My dh would introduce himself as "Daniel Soandso." He just uses the long version that he's used to using at work.

 

People also call him Dan or Danny and he doesn't mind.

 

 

So, if your husband is "Robert" and I hear you call him Bob....I would probably call him Bob, assuming that's what he prefers and/or commonly goes by. I wouldn't automatically call him Bob, Bobby, or Bubba or any other cutesy name.

[Natalieclare]

I absolutely detest being called "Nat". Ugh.

 

But for some weird reason, I will allow a handful of people to get away it...the only requirement is that you have to be kind of, well, obnoxious but affectionate for it to sound right. So, that includes my dad and my best friend's husband, and a few other jovial/obstreperous types.

 

And I am with all the other posters who hate being called "honey". I can only stare incredulously when, say, a barista twenty years my junior calls me honey. I mean, doesn't she feel weird at all? I am always stumped by that.

[Jean in Newcastle]

On the subject of pronunciation - I worked with an engineer named Dawn. She would get so mad at me because the way I pronounced it. She was from back east and Dawn was pronounced very differently from Don. But see, where I'm from, you pronounce Dawn, Don and dawn (as in the dawn of the day) exactly the same. In fact I have a hard time making my mouth pronounce it the way she did. So, I while I didn't mean any disrespect, I'm afraid that she always thought that I did.

[buddhabelly]

On the subject of pronunciation - I worked with an engineer named Dawn. She would get so mad at me because the way I pronounced it. She was from back east and Dawn was pronounced very differently from Don. But see, where I'm from, you pronounce Dawn, Don and dawn (as in the dawn of the day) exactly the same. In fact I have a hard time making my mouth pronounce it the way she did. So, I while I didn't mean any disrespect, I'm afraid that she always thought that I did.

 

I have had the longest, most circular arguments with people about this. I know a father and son both named Don, and they had a friend named Dawn. After I said that "Don called," a friend from the East Coast would actually say, "Dawn or Don?" and think that I could tell what they were saying. THERE IS NO DIFFERENCE. Hee. Can you tell which on which coast I was raised?

 

Julie

[FlockOfSillies]

I prefer Kel because I have no middle name so my mom has always called me Kel, unless I was BIG trouble, then she used Kelly becasue there was no first and middle name to call.

 

Well, Kel-ly is sort of like Kel Lee, so I guess it's an almost-middle name, or a middle name homophone, or something.

 

My dd has the most trouble her first name is Annika (pronounced On i kuh with a short i sound), but also like Anna (ah nuh), although many try to say it uh KNEE kuh, or worse will call her Ann or Annie, She hates when someone gets her name wrong and will correct them immediately.

 

See, I would have totally blown your dd's name and called her AAAN-nik-a (just like I pronounce Anna with a short 'a' in the first syllable), especially with the double 'n' that spells Ann at the beginning.

 

In high school, my algebra teacher called me Michelle. Now that I'm married, I just have people mangle my last name. LOL.

[Kanga]

On the subject of pronunciation - I worked with an engineer named Dawn. She would get so mad at me because the way I pronounced it. She was from back east and Dawn was pronounced very differently from Don. But see, where I'm from, you pronounce Dawn, Don and dawn (as in the dawn of the day) exactly the same. In fact I have a hard time making my mouth pronounce it the way she did. So, I while I didn't mean any disrespect, I'm afraid that she always thought that I did.

 

I can not for the life of me pronounce a friend's last name spelled Hull. I just missed that vowel sound in my formative years.

 

I'd like to think I left my short a twang back in college, but every once in a while I hear it in my dc's pronunciation.:001_huh:

 

My ds once introduced himself to a person at church. She said, "Oh your name is Grant?" And he replied, "not Grant, Graaa unt". My husband leaned over and said, "you are obviously spending too much time talking to your kids".

[Annabel Lee]

.And I am with all the other posters who hate being called "honey". I can only stare incredulously when, say, a barista twenty years my junior calls me honey. I mean, doesn't she feel weird at all? I am always stumped by that.

 

:iagree:This is what came to my mind immediately when I saw this thread. I never did this when I was waitressing in HS or even after. I think they get so used to this syruppy talk that they usually use on guys to get extra tip $$ that they just start doing it w/ everyone. Well, from the few coffee shacks I frequent anyhow - and not all the girls of course, but there are a few that are just special that way. ;)

[JustGin]

Now that's a whole 'nuther thread, the spelling thing. My mother finally spelled my son's name correctly -- on his 17th birthday. Seventeen years! And his name is Eli. Three letters! How can you mess that up? Absurd. We'll see if it sticks, though, whether she can spell it correctly next year.

 

We just laugh about it. I hope you guys do, too.

 

Well, I've been married for 25.5 years and my mil still spells my name Jenny and pronounces it that way as well. Argghh...

[Laura Corin]

Husband finds that people are more likely to nickname him in the US than the UK. In fact, in the US he introduces himself by his nickname, so that people don't choose the wrong nickname for him.

 

By contrast, when he lived in London, there were four people called James in his office. None of them were ever shortened to Jim, Jamie or Jimmy.

 

Laura

[Kate in Arabia]

I have unwittingly set up my oldest ds for this; we tried really hard when choosing names, we wanted Arabic names that had meanings we liked but also didn't have any of the letters/sounds that aren't found in English. His name ended up being similar to an English name, which is what he is called by all the time by folks not familiar with Arabic/Islam.

 

I think now he looks on that as the "English translation" of his name, he gave up long ago trying to correct people. Actually, children seem to get it right immediately, but with adults it's a different story. I don't mind if it's done simply because it's unusual and hard for them to remember. I had a truly foul neighbor when we were living in the States who did it deliberately because he didn't like "our kind", which is different.

 

Second ds and dd's names are also unusual, but they aren't close to any English names so they don't have the same issue; people have to really try instead of falling back on a more familiar name, lol.

[Lolly]

I almost fainted when a very young waitress (probably 17) called me honey and sweetie. Usually, i hardly even notice. Various names don't usually bother me at all. My poor kids are called all sorts of things. :D Very often, I call them by first letter or position in the line up. I have A, R, C, and J. Or, I may call for number 1,2,3, or 4. Sometimes it is girl 1. The only time pronunciation bothers me is with dd1's name. Dh and I didn't announce her name until after she was born. It turns out that 3 of the grandparents and the majority of the population here cannot pronounce her name properly. The grandparents REALLY tried. They just couldn't do it. My mother got it after about 6 mths. Dh's parents took over a year. Fil still sometimes messes it up today. They started getting it correct when someone pointed out that it is the "col" in collard greens. They pronounced it with a long "o" like in the body part colon. Never did I think it would be a problem. It is not an extremely odd name.

 

I did run into problems with one boy's name when I was teaching school. First day, I called roll I used the name listed, Benjamin. He promptly asked to be called Ben. All the other kids called him Ben. I started calling him Ben. First time I met his parents at an open house, I was absolutely blasted for using Ben. Told never to do it again. Okay. They didn't understand why everyone was calling their son by that awful nickname. They hadn't named him Ben!!! I pointed out that he has requested to be called by the name. They were not very understanding. The next day, I asked why he told me to call him Ben. Seems he hated the name Benjamin. Today, he is grown. He is Ben. Well, to everyone but his parents.

Edited May 15, 2009 by Lolly

[Rosie_0801]

I have a hypenated first name and once had someone argue with me over it, saying the first bit was my first name and the second bit was my second name. As if I wouldn't know what my own name was. They got really angry when I corrected them too. Can't imagine what stakes they had in what my name is! That being said, my dad found out when he was about 26 that he'd been spelling his name wrong for all those years. No idea why his parents didn't correct him...

 

Rosie

[Peela]

Here in Australia everyone makes nicknames out of peoples' names. Sometimes they are quite rude or wierd or bizarre, but its a friendly thing. I personally don't make a big deal out of it.

I recently changed my name back to my birth name, which is Susan. I get all sorts of nicknames..I don't mind. But some people find it hard to remember my name change and some just refuse to change it until I gently remind them. What to do.

Sometimes I think things like that are just a message from the universe to stop taking yourself so seriously and loosen up a bit.

My kids get called nicknames by their friends. We didn't choose their nicknames for them and that's part of their interaction with the world. I personally think its a form of endearment that people make up nicknames.

[A.J. at J.A.]

ug.

what is it with people?

my dh's name is not "Bob. If he wanted to be called "Bob" that is how he would sign or introduce himself. It's tacky and it's rude to call him "Bob" instead of Robert or Mr. Soandso.

 

same goes for me.

My name is Martha or Mrs. Soandso.

Not whatever nickname you think works or what you hear my dh calling me. If I wanted you to call me by those names, that's how I'd have introduced myself or signed my name.

 

ug.

 

this has happened no less than FIVE times to my dh and twice to me this week alone. sometimes in person, sometimes via written exchange.

 

is there a polite way to handle this? It happens to my dh a LOT, but only once in a while to me. this week is some sort of weird thing I guess.

 

It gets annoying, doesn't it? I'm "Angela, don't call me Angie" type of gal. I actually (jokingly) threatened to punch one of our pastors if he called me Angie again. I just said, "I go by Angela. I'll let it go this time but next time you call me Angie you might get punched." He laughed, but I bet he won't make that mistake again! :lol:

 

It really is frustrating to me when people do that...I mean if anything it truly shows how little they know me.

 

Blessings,

Angela