How do you feel about a vasectomy update:post 111

[*Inna*]

The only emotional effect he had after the procedure is a huge, overwhelming relief that we don't have to worry about birth control.

I had horrendous postpartum depressions after each pregnancy and was strongly advised not to get pregnant again.

 

We are Christians.

[ajfries]

I completely agree with Ravin. Yeah, I've had 3 no meds births, I've spend YEARS breastfeeding...but those were MY choices. DH has never pressured me to "go natural" with my births, breastfeed, or go on hormonal birth control. He's supported my choices. Even though it probably would have been easier on him if I had chosen to do various things differently.

 

DH & I have been casually talking about it for a couple years now (since our third), but I feel strongly that he needs to be the one to pull the trigger :)  We're both "done" but if something were to happen to me, I could see DH wanting more kids if he happened to find another wife ( I once asked him if he'd want more kids with someone else if I were to die and he jokingly said "I don't think that's any of your business" :lol: ). But I'm DONE, even if DH were to die & my hypothetical new guy wanted more kids. For that reason, I don't bring up a vasectomy...it makes more sense for ME to have a tubal because I feel done no matter what.

[Openhearted]

I have a problem with the "do it for the wife" mentality. People should have control of their own bodies. Men have so little say in the birth control choices in a relationship, this one should be left up to him. Even without considering that marriage may not be for life, men are sometimes widowed. You can't predict your life course, and no one should seek sterilization unless they are certain they don't want any more children, with their current partner or otherwise.

 

 

I agree and I brought that up in our conversation. What if I died and he was to remarry and new wife wanted children. He said that he was "too old", and I reminded him that men are never too old. He said he was done having children and he is happy with the ones he has. He loves being able to run and play and going on nature walks, etc. He feels that having more children at this age he wouldn't be able to do that. So we have talked about that aspect and is something definitely to consider when this is a permanent fix. It can be reversed though. I am not sure about statistics of success.

[VeteranMom]

My dh had one when my kids were young.  Pregnancies were very hard on me.  Dh was 30 at the time.  It was a tough decision for me, but dh was good with it.  I would have had one more baby, but looking back I don't think that would have been the best decision for our immediate family.  Most males in my family end up with vasectomies.  Dh recovered within a few days and hasn't had any problems.  

   

[Miss Cornelia Snook]

We won't do one.  I am concerned about the complications I've heard of, and I also don't feel it is in God's plan for us.

[SeaConquest]

My husband had one over the summer. In on a Friday afternoon, took the weekend off, didn't lift for a week. No serious pain and recovery was quick. No affairs or spiritual/physical/emotional changes. We have two children and I have bipolar disorder. Each pregnancy has brought terrible PPD, so our family is complete. ETA: He was 33 when he had the surgery, but had wanted a vasectomy since after our first child was born. We had a vasectomy scheduled, but I accidentally got pregnant with our second child two weeks before the procedure (I ovulated two weeks late due to being on the hospital). 

[FaithManor]

I nearly died having out middle boy - third child, fourth pregnancy - my blood as it turns out, no longer clots very well and medical treatments do not correct the problem with any meaningful efficacy. I was to NEVER have any more. However, at the time, I was struggling with the idea of absolutely never having another one. Dh was done, but he did drag his feet a little - I was not a candidate for any elective surgery and frankly, never will be either - and though on the pill and taking it religiously, ended up pregnant. He went immediately and had it done. I barely survived that pregnancy. Barely.

 

I am very grateful for my youngest son. I wouldn't trade him for anything. I would not however EVER consider being put in a position to have another because the likelihood of leaving my children motherless would be statistically very high, around 85% chance of death. Not odds I'm willing to try to defy.

[Susan in TN]

We would be ok with having one if we could afford it. Our main concern is that dh does not recover well from surgeries, as we discovered when he had hernia surgery and the 4-month "complete recovery" took over a year. Even now, 4 years later, he has occasional issues. Doctors have told dh that his body is just unusually sensitive.

[Truscifi]

Dh had one after Babyman was born. We just didn't want any more kids. I was on the pill when we got pregnant, so apparently we are just really fertile or something. Dh felt he should try a more certain (I know, still not 100%) method.

[Openhearted]

We would be ok with having one if we could afford it. Our main concern is that dh does not recover well from surgeries, as we discovered when he had hernia surgery and the 4-month "complete recovery" took over a year. Even now, 4 years later, he has occasional issues. Doctors have told dh that his body is just unusually sensitive.

I understand about the cost. I was actually surprised about the cost of the procedure itself. Not nearly as much as I thought it would be. If our deductible had been meet for the year, it wouldn't have been much at all. We are expecting to take off 2 work days for recovery though. If it was an extended period then it would not be possible.

[zoobie]

Of the several I'm aware of, the men got it done on a Thursday or Friday, waited on by a doting spouse all weekend, and were back at work Monday. One timed it during the fall so he had an excuse to watch football.

 

ETA: This isn't intended to dismiss the discomfort of the procedure. From what I understand, it hurts a lot.

Urologists are very busy during March Madness! :)

[gaillardia]

A friend's dh had a vasectomy after they had one child. A few years went by and she really wanted more children so they had it undone and had 4 more children. After that he had it done again. He had no problems.

In my life, we've not used bc for years and no more babies. If a decision would have had to have been made about birth control, my dh would have been the one getting the remedy, not me. I've also been through a lot and it is easier (and cheaper last I checked) on the guy to get a v. My last pregnancy ended in a miscarriage.

The religious and/or spiritual level, no comment.

[Ravin]

Our own personal convictions on the issue lead us to be very, very uncomfortable with permanently ending our fertility unless there is an emergent, unavoidable medical need. That said, if we ever encounter that sort of situation I'd MUCH rather my husband have a vasectomy than I receive a tubal ligation. The difficulty and rate of complications with one procedure is far greater than the other. Fortunately my husband agrees.

I sound like an advertisement, but several people have said something to this effect. Tubal ligation is not the only option for women these days. Essure is much less invasive (no incisions) and recovery is very quick--easier than vasectomy.

[mommymilkies]

I sound like an advertisement, but several people have said something to this effect. Tubal ligation is not the only option for women these days. Essure is much less invasive (no incisions) and recovery is very quick--easier than vasectomy.

There have been many reports of serious complications.  A few stories (there are tons more, just the first links I found). 

[SemiSweet]

We are pretty sure we're done, dh wants to have a vasectomy. I have an IUD currently and I'd like to have it removed, so he'll probably do it fairly soon.

[Ipsey]

If I had not had my tubes tied with my last c-section, my husband would have had a vasectomy.

We know many religious people who have had one done and I haven't seen emotional/spiritual damage. No one mentioned any such thing when we were religious either.

 

What I heard from my father and other men who had one was that they invested in a bag of frozen peas for the discomfort and felt pretty good after a day or so.

 

 

[plansrme]

You may not think you know men who have had them, but if word gets out that your husband is having or just had one, many men in his life will feel free to tell him that they also have had the big V.  And they'll all act really proud of themselves for being manly enough to go through such a grueling procedure.  The guys he plays softball with, people he works with--they'll all smile knowingly and welcome him to the brotherhood.  It was kind of funny.

 

My husband's surgeon requires that the wife come to the pre-op appointment, which I thought was odd, but I realized while I was there that the point of it was to explain that my husband would still be fertile for several weeks (or months?  It's been a while--not sure of the details) afterwards; results are not immediate.  I was six months pregnant at the time, and as I told the doctor, "I am pretty darned fertile, but even I can't get pregnant when I am already pregnant.  Can I go now?"

 

Recovery was a piece of cake.  I was nice to him for a couple of days, and he was so baffled by my odd behavior that he barely noticed the pain. :coolgleamA:

 

 

[DesertBlossom]

I am LDS and the church strongly discourages permanent birth control, but says it it ultimately between the husband, wife and God.  For us, a vasectomy has always been  a possibility when our family was complete (though I have no idea how to know when we're "done" ;) ) but then DH read about how a significant percentage of men develop an allergy to their own sperm and now he says that options is off the table.  So... who knows.

[Dory]

I actually don't know a single family in our church where one or the other (or in a couple situations both) haven't had a vasectomy/tubal done when they were done having kids. I also don't know a single family in those that has had marital problems afterwards.

 

Today seems to be the day of blaming marriage problems on all sorts of strange things. I was told today that if we adopted children that were older then 2 it would destroy our marriage. I told her that if our marriage was destroyed by that, that we obviously had some problems going into it.

[stripe]

Lol. That made me laugh. No, my mom said that after my uncle's vasectomy he felt free to have affairs since no children were possible.

That is one of the theories behind my question.

Seems a rather extreme way to avoid pregnancy from an affair. I'd think finding a nice elderly lady might be a better one.

 

ETA:

There are religions for which permanent birth control is not seen as appropriate unless there is a serious reason, such as the woman should not become pregnant again. But presumably, anyone who is not morally comfortable with a vasectomy wouldn't want to get one, so if the man understands the concept and is okay with it, maybe it is sad in the same way I've heard women say they feel sort of sad at the idea of having no more children, even if they feel that they have had enough for them.

[fairfarmhand]

I have a problem with the "do it for the wife" mentality. People should have control of their own bodies. Men have so little say in the birth control choices in a relationship, this one should be left up to him. Even without considering that marriage may not be for life, men are sometimes widowed. You can't predict your life course, and no one should seek sterilization unless they are certain they don't want any more children, with their current partner or otherwise.

 

The concern over a woman's sterilization being more invasive is outdated. I had Essure done a few months ago and it was easy.

 

I also think the notion that men are more likely to have affairs if they've had a vas ridiculous and unfounded. I might buy that a man thinking of stepping out would factor out into his reasons for getting sterilized, but I'd want to see hard data and some indicator, even if there's a correlation between vasectomy and cheating, of the directionality of causation.

Honestly in our house it wasn't really a "doin' it for the wife" thing.

 

He was done having kids. (Mostly because of the change in family dynamics that a new baby always brings)

 

I was done having kids.

 

So we sat down and said, "What's the easiest, cheapest way of getting this permanently addressed?" And that's what we came up with. Honestly, he preferred being taken care of for a few days than to have me down for a few weeks. He's so funny. He hates it when I am ill AT ALL. He knows that things just don't go well when mama's not at her best.

[trulycrabby]

I am all in favour of vasectomies. :)

[texasmama]

My dh agreed to have a V after our last baby.  I was approaching 40, we had four kids, and we both agreed that we were done, done, done.  We are also very, very fertile so permanent sterilization was our best option, and the V is much easier on a man than a tubal is on a woman. 

 

We noticed nothing negative after the V, and it was an amazing relief not to have to constantly fuss with or worry about bc and pg.  I highly recommend what I call the "triple threat" V - cutting the vas deferens, burning the ends and clamping them. 

 

ETA:  If dh had been unwilling to have the V, I would have likely had the Essure procedure.

[texasmama]

Was he miserable? How painful? How long was recovery time? Sorry so many questions. His appointment is Wednesday, and we have talked to the doctor several times, and done some research. But I still want to know more.

My dh had his on a Friday afternoon, spent the weekend laying around and taking pain meds and was back at a pretty active job on Monday still walking a bit gingerly.  He had no complications, healed well, and had no regrets.

 

We are Protestant nondenominational Christians, if that matters.

[texasmama]

Also, I was present during my dh's V (an in office procedure) so if the OP has specific questions, I can probably answer them.  I watched part of it.

[Openhearted]

Texasmama, I do. Was there one incision or two? I'm leaving right now, but have more. Thank you.

[texasmama]

Texasmama, I do. Was there one incision or two? I'm leaving right now, but have more. Thank you.

One incision about half an inch long.

[catz]

Also, I was present during my dh's V (an in office procedure) so if the OP has specific questions, I can probably answer them.  I watched part of it.

 

LOL - you are awesome and I am a bad wife!  :) 

 

My DH had one.  It was fine, it's been fine, no complaints and it's been a number of years!

 

[texasmama]

LOL - you are awesome and I am a bad wife! :)

 

My DH had one. It was fine, it's been fine, no complaints and it's been a number of years!

 

Ha! I just find medical stuff interesting. I did look away at one point because it was kinda weird, though.

[HS Mom in NC]

My brothers, step-dad, dad, and my husband have all had vasectomies and they're the same people mentally and spiritually.  How could it possibly change them in such ways? His was 16 years ago after my middle daughter was born.  Neither of us were expected to live through her delivery and we were advised not to have more pregnancies.  We were planning on him having one when we were done anyway, so it wasn't a big deal to us.  We adopted our 3rd. We're evangelical Christians. (Or he was then.)

I had a hysterectomy and I'm still the same person mentally (I kept my ovaries knowing that removing them can cause severe hormonal imbalances that affect moods) and spiritually. I just don't have the medical issues the fibroid tumors were causing: severe anemia, fatigue, blocked ureter, swollen kidney, folded bladder, pain during intercourse.  So actually, I've mentally improved.

 

My husband didn't have an incision, he had what I like to call the "2 hole punch" method done.  He was moving furniture 2 days later.

 

Adultery is a spiritual issue, not a physical one. 

[Slojo]

I don't have any spiritual opinion on this -- it was actually new to me that people would make spiritual connections to this. I am pragmatic about it. My body underwent tremendous changes - and some trauma during my pregnancies. If we as a couple are done having children and want to be done, then if there is any surgery to be done, it's on my husband. It is a minor surgery compared to anything I'd have to undergo, and it is minor compared to the progression of three (actually more, including miscarriages) pregnancies and the impact on my body. This is not to say I didn't enjoy the pregnancies -- but many enjoyable things can also take a toll in their own way (e.g., being an elite athlete, enjoying a high-flying career) and when it's time to close that chapter, then it's time to close that chapter and "regain" some of what maybe couldn't happen while in that stage of life.  I'm still working on realigning my body, for example, after my last pregnancy -- even as the result of that pregnancy was my last baby and my joyful little girl. 

 

I would actually have a mental/spiritual problem with a husband/partner who both refused to "take it for the team" if we were otherwise in agreement that we were done and surgery was the solution we wanted to invest in and would be upset if an unintended pregnancy did occur. I've met several women who confided that their husbands basically pressured them into being the ones to undergo surgery even when a vasectomy would have been the far easier course of action. So if we are done, then let's lean toward the man having the surgery is my perspective - the woman (unless she really wants to) has "done enough" in this area. If there is some reason to not have the vasectomy then we're not really decided that we are done, I guess and we should talk more and I'm actually okay with proceeding with the precautions we've used in the past at this point and with the small risk at this point of an unintended pregnancy. Now I say this having NO spiritual blocks to doing what seems to be a routine surgery to address a pragmatic issue. This is nothing against those who do - my spiritual beliefs don't prohibit this particular action. If my husband/partner felt like he would be mentally or spiritually changed, I guess my first response would be empathy, but then fairly immediately to counsel him to seek counseling - either informal (chat with other men who've been through this) or talk to a counselor to unpack what's really going on.   

[Veritaserum]

I feel great about it. Dh got one when our sixth was 3 months old (that baby is 2 years old now). He's had no noticeable side effects.

[Orthodox6]

Too old? Smiling as I type. My F-I-L was sixty-four when my DH was born. (only one marriage in the case)

[FaithManor]

Too old? Smiling as I type. My F-I-L was sixty-four when my DH was born. (only one marriage in the case)

Wow!

[BlsdMama]

I don't have any spiritual opinion on this -- it was actually new to me that people would make spiritual connections to this.

 

I would actually have a mental/spiritual problem with a husband/partner who both refused to "take it for the team" if we were otherwise in agreement that we were done and surgery was the solution we wanted to invest in and would be upset if an unintended pregnancy did occur. I've met several women who confided that their husbands basically pressured them into being the ones to undergo surgery even when a vasectomy would have been the far easier course of action. S

 

Speaking from a semi-quiverfull mindset, I can explain what the spiritual issue would be:  In my belief system I believe that, according to scriptures, children are clearly blessings.  If we truly believe this and have the mindset of Christ (that they are blessings and see them as such) we would be open to having whatever God would give us.  I've heard it likened to money - money is both a blessing and a curse in scripture, but if God was willing to give it, then we'd be more than willing to accept more, kwim? ;)  So, when you have that mindset, you are aware that not wanting more usually has a reason and it is up to the couple to examine their hearts and minds and find out if that reason is purely unselfish (medical necessity or something) or some other reason that is less God focused and more self centered.  Beyond that, there is an additional belief of what the oneness of a couple should be like and the worry that a vasectomy will reduce that to simply a physical act out of need.  OBVIOUSLY I can't speak from personal experience as to whether there is a change in the physical and spiritual oneness of intimacy after a vasectomy. ;) 

 

I'm not up for a debate on whether I'm right, I'm wrong, or the many ways in which I'm wrong.  I'm simply explaining what spiritual issue would exist for some people.

 

DH would prefer one.  I prefer not.  I believe a woman's cycle was perfectly created for the purpose of preventing a pregnancy if needed.  I have a lesser issue with barrier methods though the mindset thing is still there.  I see NFP as God's creation for abstaining while praying for one another and thus mindfully growing closer to one another during that time despite abstaining.  (1Cor. 7:5)  So, in the order of things I feel NFP is preferable, or NFP with barrier, then surgery, with hormonal birth control methods being completely repugnant and not allowed.

 

There's the quiverfull .02.  ;)

 

I am curious though... when you say (ahem) "dry" do you mean completely so??  Doesn't that take away from the sensation at all?  I am obviously very naive here. ;)

[texasmama]

I am curious though... when you say (ahem) "dry" do you mean completely so?? Doesn't that take away from the sensation at all? I am obviously very naive here. ;)

A vasectomy prevents sperm from entering semen. Semen is still present. Nothing about the sensation changes. It is not dry.

[KarenNC]

Too old? Smiling as I type. My F-I-L was sixty-four when my DH was born. (only one marriage in the case)

 

My grandfather was a similar age when my dad was born, the oldest of four children (it was a second marriage to a vastly younger woman). I can't imagine being 70 with 4 kids under 10!

[Luckymama]

I have said this before: dh's vasectomy was the greatest gift to our marriage.

 

Another miscarriage would have been beyond devastating. The peace of mind the V brought was amazing.

[MedicMom]

I feel like one would be great.

DH adamantly does not want more children but does not want to get one. He does not see the point since both kids were conceived with fertility treatments and the doctors don't think I can conceive naturally(I am 32 so I have a ways to go)

 

My dad was born when my grandmother was 42 after being told she could not have kids and adopting. My great grandmother had a late in life baby after no babies for 12 years and being told she could not conceive again. I am not as convinced as DH.

[Veritaserum]

Dh went to a urologist, who punched one small hole that didn't even need stitching afterward (just a bandage for a couple of days). He was sore for a few days/week, but wasn't miserable or anything. It looked easier than recovering from childbirth, which I did six times. ;-)

[Slojo]

Speaking from a semi-quiverfull mindset, I can explain what the spiritual issue would be:  In my belief system I believe that, according to scriptures, children are clearly blessings.  If we truly believe this and have the mindset of Christ (that they are blessings and see them as such) we would be open to having whatever God would give us.  I've heard it likened to money - money is both a blessing and a curse in scripture, but if God was willing to give it, then we'd be more than willing to accept more, kwim? ;)  So, when you have that mindset, you are aware that not wanting more usually has a reason and it is up to the couple to examine their hearts and minds and find out if that reason is purely unselfish (medical necessity or something) or some other reason that is less God focused and more self centered.  Beyond that, there is an additional belief of what the oneness of a couple should be like and the worry that a vasectomy will reduce that to simply a physical act out of need.  OBVIOUSLY I can't speak from personal experience as to whether there is a change in the physical and spiritual oneness of intimacy after a vasectomy. ;)

 

I'm not up for a debate on whether I'm right, I'm wrong, or the many ways in which I'm wrong.  I'm simply explaining what spiritual issue would exist for some people.

 

DH would prefer one.  I prefer not.  I believe a woman's cycle was perfectly created for the purpose of preventing a pregnancy if needed.  I have a lesser issue with barrier methods though the mindset thing is still there.  I see NFP as God's creation for abstaining while praying for one another and thus mindfully growing closer to one another during that time despite abstaining.  (1Cor. 7:5)  So, in the order of things I feel NFP is preferable, or NFP with barrier, then surgery, with hormonal birth control methods being completely repugnant and not allowed.

 

There's the quiverfull .02.  ;)

 

I am curious though... when you say (ahem) "dry" do you mean completely so??  Doesn't that take away from the sensation at all?  I am obviously very naive here. ;)

Thanks for explaining - sounds like a perfectly consistent viewpoint to me.  I really appreciate your sharing. And I certainly have no "dog in the fight" about rightness or wrongness of any particular viewpoint, certainly not as applied to individuals outside of myself. I'm squarely in the "it's your private parts" camp on this one - I have absolutely no opinion about anyone else's vasectomy or not-vasectomy. I certainly find common cause on "children are a blessing", just happen to not feel it translates into refraining from this method of preventing pregnancies. To use the money analogy, money is beneficial to a point, after that -  given how money generally comes into our lives -- there are times to say, "I have enough. To pursue, covet, spend life energy on more would not be the best direction for me."  Even money that appears to come as a gift (It could be that God wants me to give it away, actually, or to decline it).  And feel like that could be applied to family-building as well.  

 

If money is gifted unexpectedly, perhaps that changes things (as would a truly unexpected pregnancy).  But I have "turned down" more money often in my life: to homeschool, because I don't think being an investment banker is my highest and best calling, because I believe that young children require a certain amount of attention and energy, because I think having time to focus on health, spiritual well-being and family is generally not compatible with an 80+ work week, etc... so in some sense I am turning down money that would otherwise fairly easily come into my life. And perhaps if I turned it down, and did my best to listen to the will of God, then maybe God wasn't giving it anyway. So maybe God is calling me to have more children, and maybe not -- if so, God will find a way to bring those children in my life, vasectomy or not-vasectomy. I could actually envision a scenario in which God brought a child to our awareness that needed a home opened up to them, and that probably, at this point, that is the far greater call to be ready to answer in our lives.

 

So also as an act of faith and judgment, I am trusting that the combination of feelings, life experiences, circumstances, etc God has given us as a couple to bring us to a decision to go with a vasectomy may indeed be the will of God. 

[livetoread]

Was he miserable? How painful? How long was recovery time? Sorry so many questions. His appointment is Wednesday, and we have talked to the doctor several times, and done some research. But I still want to know more.

He was quite miserable during the procedure itself. We aren't sure what happened with his anesthesia, but dh said it was like getting repeatedly kicked there. He was white and shaky when we walked out of the office. He healed quickly though; I think he had the procedure on Thurs. and was back to work Monday. He doesn't regret it.

[Night Elf]

DH had one when he was 41 which was 16 years ago. No complications. He did it without my support though. I wanted more children and he felt too old and was absolutely positive he was done. Doing it without me was no problem. The doctors never wanted to see me. He was uncomfortable for about a week, but I don't recall him saying it was painful. He's never regretted it. I've gotten over it, but it took years to come to that peace.

[Openhearted]

I really appreciate all of the responses, and the time everyone has taken to share their experience. I am sorry for those of you that have had problems and appreciate that it was brought to my attention. Complications had not occurred to me, but should have.

What a blessing to have found this community and all of you kind, wonderful people!:)

We are still scheduled for Wednesday@5pm. I can update then if anyone is interested.

In the mean time anymore thoughts, experiences, ideas are welcome.

P.s. for those that mentioned this, an athletic supporter has been ordered and the frozen peas are on standby.:)

[Carrie12345]

Honestly in our house it wasn't really a "doin' it for the wife" thing.

 

He was done having kids. (Mostly because of the change in family dynamics that a new baby always brings)

 

I was done having kids.

 

So we sat down and said, "What's the easiest, cheapest way of getting this permanently addressed?" And that's what we came up with. Honestly, he preferred being taken care of for a few days than to have me down for a few weeks. He's so funny. He hates it when I am ill AT ALL. He knows that things just don't go well when mama's not at her best.

 

Same here, for the most part.

Dh was reluctant, but he did eventually do his research.  With all factors considered (including my serious complications with what was a "newer" bc method at the time) it made sense to go with the easiest tried and true procedure.

[Momof3littles]

We have considered it but I am a little concerned about some of the studies indicating it may trigger lower level vessel inflammation (studies are mixed and not conclusive) and a recent study saying it may be linked to rare but aggressive forms of prostate cancer. No causality proven yet obviously. The inflammation concerns me as my father in law died prematurely from a heart attack worth no warning signs, so I am interested in following further research.

[mamaraby]

My dad had aggressive prostate cancer when he was pretty young. It came back a few years ago and they were able to treat it successfully with radiation. He also had a sister who had an aggressive form of terminal ovarian cancer. So, while he had a vasectomy I would suspect it's not that, but a hormonal/genetic component. His urologist/oncologist felt the connection between vasectomy and his cancer was dubious.

 

Most of the older studies failed to show a conclusive link that wasn't accounted for by other factors. With the most recent study, while it may have indicated a link between vasectomy and aggressive prostate cancer, it was small. The conclusion the study author made was basically, here's this small chance, but he didn't feel a need for a change in standard of care.

 

Even with my dad's prostate cancer and the studies, we still felt the benefits outweighed the risks. Also, aggressive prostate cancer doesn't have to mean it's terminal. My dad's 12 years out from his diagnosis. For him, the yearly PSA/DRE he had saved his life because they caught it early enough to make a difference.

 

YMMV and all. I just thought I'd explain how we worked through it.

[stripe]

So we sat down and said, "What's the easiest, cheapest way of getting this permanently addressed?" 

 

I've also been through a lot and it is easier (and cheaper last I checked) on the guy to get a v.

I just wanted to point out that (aside from the controversies over religious coverage) this may be very different with insurance coverage post Affordable Care Act. I know my insurance did not cover contraceptive anything before, and now it does, including both medicines and surgeries. So be sure to check your insurance as it currently stands to determine what the costs would be, and what options are covered.

[sassenach]

Dh had one. The experience itself was traumatic in that the dr didn't numb him well and just gave him a tongue depressor to bite down on. We've been told that that wasn't normal.

 

Despite that, the results have been great. He has had no complications and it didn't change him or our teA life, except for the freedom we have in it. I knew I was done and I just didn't want to spend my life on the pill, and likely end up pregnant again, because I always did manage to pull that off despite all precautions.

 

Dh later regretted it, because he really wanted another baby a few years later. I can't say that I ever did. He doesn't regret it now, I don't think. It was just a season of wishing for him. I think I pressured him into it and if I had it to do over again, it would have been healthier and more loving for me to let him do it on his own time. I was pretty overwhelmed with all of our babies. I had 3 in diapers for almost 2 years.

 

So, in summary, mixed feelings along the way, but ultimately no regrets.

[sunflowerlady]

I am pro-vasectomy. :)