JumpyTheFrog Posted April 7, 2013 Share Posted April 7, 2013 I think someone I know just had a "shotgun wedding." How do these usually work out? (She was 20 or 21 at the time.) I tried to google it but didn't find any concrete statistics. The only other shotgun wedding I've known of personally (as a kid) had the couple marry at 16 or 17 and divorced within two years. My guess is that the percent of marriages that are happy in the long run is low. ETA: By "shotgun wedding" I mean where a couple ends up pregnant and the parents (especially the woman's parents) strongly pressure the couple to marry, regardless of their compatibility. No actual shotgun is necessary. If the woman was not pregnant, the parents wouldn't be pressuring or encouraging them to marry, and in fact, they might not even think it was a good idea otherwise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted April 7, 2013 Share Posted April 7, 2013 Oh my gosh! I haven't popcorn! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted April 7, 2013 Share Posted April 7, 2013 I think a lot of it depends on whether or not there was an actual shotgun involved. ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dory Posted April 7, 2013 Share Posted April 7, 2013 I've always heard a marriage to avoid embarrassment from pregnancy a shotgun wedding, I'm hoping that's what you mean. I know two couples that have made it through the years (one has been 8 years and the other 30), but they are both miserable. I also know of numerous other couples that haven't made it and divorced in a few years. I don't understand it. Why follow one mistake up with another one? How does that make it all better? Anyway, from what I've seen it doesn't end in marital bliss. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted April 7, 2013 Share Posted April 7, 2013 Oh my gosh! I haven't popcorn! Here ya go! :lurk5: :lurk5: :lurk5: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JumpyTheFrog Posted April 7, 2013 Author Share Posted April 7, 2013 Oh my gosh! I haven't popcorn! Uh, should I take this to mean that you expect this to be a controversial thread? I'm not trying to start trouble. It's a serious question. I know "shotgun weddings" are something that is extremely rare these days, but this women is from my former cultish church. Parents are encouraged to heavily meddle in their young adult kids lives. It's like another universe compared to how I grew up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted April 7, 2013 Share Posted April 7, 2013 A shotgun wedding implies that it is done under duress - usually parental. Shotguns are not always involved. Manipulation, Passive-Aggressive pressure often are. A mutual decision was made by the couple (even if it was hasty) can end happily even if outsiders might think it was a bad idea. Decisions that were not mutual or made for the right reason usually do not end happily. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted April 7, 2013 Share Posted April 7, 2013 I've always heard a marriage to avoid embarrassment from pregnancy a shotgun wedding, I'm hoping that's what you mean. I know two couples that have made it through the years (one has been 8 years and the other 30), but they are both miserable. I also know of numerous other couples that haven't made it and divorced in a few years. I don't understand it. Why follow one mistake up with another one? How does that make it all better? Anyway, from what I've seen it doesn't end in marital bliss. I would think it all depends on whether or not the couple was already involved in a serious relationship, or if the pregnancy was a result of a quickie casual relationship. If the couple was already in love, I don't see why the relationship couldn't work out for the long haul. If it was a more casual thing, I would assume the odds of success would be lower, just because having a child is a lot of stress on even a strong relationship, and if either party felt that he or she was being forced into the marriage, there could be a lot of resentment, which could permanently damage the relationship. Also, it could turn out that both the man and woman were both lovely people, but simply not compatible with each other once they got to know each other better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted April 7, 2013 Share Posted April 7, 2013 Welp, I'm a shotgun wedding and here we are going on 19 years. My parents (my mom's second marriage to my step dad) are a shotgun wedding and they're on 35 years, my Aunt and Uncle are shotgun and they're going on year 55. So. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted April 7, 2013 Share Posted April 7, 2013 Uh, should I take this to mean that you expect this to be a controversial thread? I'm not trying to start trouble. It's a serious question. I know "shotgun weddings" are something that is extremely rare these days, but this women is from my former cultish church. Parents are encouraged to heavily meddle in their young adult kids lives. It's like another universe compared to how I grew up. I don't think you're trying to start trouble at all! And I get that it is a serious question. But I've been here for years and years...and I've seen how things can go... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JumpyTheFrog Posted April 7, 2013 Author Share Posted April 7, 2013 I've always heard a marriage to avoid embarrassment from pregnancy a shotgun wedding, I'm hoping that's what you mean. Yes, that's what I mean. This couple had a one WEEK engagement (when she is very into fashion and would be the type who would take months to find the perfect dress) and a baby on the way whose due date is "too soon." I have no contact with her, so I'm not trying to get involved in any way. I'm just wondering about their chances of long-term happiness. DH and I are inclined to think that their chances of divorce (or a miserable marriage, since this cultish group considers divorce a horrible sin) are high. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted April 7, 2013 Share Posted April 7, 2013 Uh, should I take this to mean that you expect this to be a controversial thread? I'm not trying to start trouble. It's a serious question. I know "shotgun weddings" are something that is extremely rare these days, but this women is from my former cultish church. Parents are encouraged to heavily meddle in their young adult kids lives. It's like another universe compared to how I grew up. I'm sure the parents are trying to do the right thing, but I feel very sorry for anyone who is forced into an unwanted marriage. :( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JumpyTheFrog Posted April 7, 2013 Author Share Posted April 7, 2013 But I've been here for years and years...and I've seen how things can go... True. If shopping carts and cupcakes can be controversial....I'm still hoping a few people can share their perspective before the thread goes down in flames. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted April 7, 2013 Share Posted April 7, 2013 Yes, that's what I mean. This couple had a one WEEK engagement (when she is very into fashion and would be the type who would take months to find the perfect dress) and a baby on the way whose due date is "too soon." I have no contact with her, so I'm not trying to get involved in any way. I'm just wondering about their chances of long-term happiness. DH and I are inclined to think that their chances of divorce (or a miserable marriage, since this cultish group considers divorce a horrible sin) are high. Had they dated for a long time before the "little accident?" If they were already dating each other exclusively and get along very well with each other, I think the marriage could work out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GWOB Posted April 7, 2013 Share Posted April 7, 2013 Well, our wedding wasn't exactly a shotgun wedding, but I may or may not have been 3 months pregnant at the time. His parents and my mom wanted us to get married. My dad said it wouldn't last 4 years, and if it did last he would actually kiss my husband's arse. I got a photo. One of my most prized possessions. We've been married 13+ years. He still makes me weak in the knees, and every time he hugs me he tries to undo my bra. So I'd say it's going pretty well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted April 7, 2013 Share Posted April 7, 2013 I'd say a better predictor of the happiness of their marriage is whether they want to work towards a healthy marriage and whether their community provides support in difficult times. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted April 7, 2013 Share Posted April 7, 2013 I didn't even know pregnancy was still a reason to force a wedding. I also thought good girls didn't do that (8 lb preemies notwithstanding). Is there really enough popcorn to go around? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JumpyTheFrog Posted April 7, 2013 Author Share Posted April 7, 2013 Had they dated for a long time before the "little accident?" If they were already dating each other exclusively and get along very well with each other, I think the marriage could work out. Well, I don't know her well, but her brother said "they group up together." Her church promotes courtship (defined as the young man needing to be approved by the woman's dad before they spend much time together, and then they only spend time together chaperoned. It's supposedly to preserve "purity", prevent divorce, and prevent heartbreak. So far, it doesn't seem to be resulting in many marriages at that church). I doubt they had ever been allowed to date and I don't know if they were courting or not. I suspect their relationship, whatever it was, was a secret. Anyway, let's try to keep this more general. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted April 7, 2013 Share Posted April 7, 2013 I didn't even know pregnancy was still a reason to force a wedding. I also thought good girls didn't do that (8 lb preemies notwithstanding). Is there really enough popcorn to go around? Sure! :lurk5: :lurk5: :lurk5: Let me know when you need some more. :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted April 7, 2013 Share Posted April 7, 2013 Well, I don't know her well, but her brother said "they group up together." Her church promotes courtship (defined as the young man needing to be approved by the woman's dad before they spend much time together, and then they only spend time together chaperoned. It's supposedly to preserve "purity", prevent divorce, and prevent heartbreak. So far, it doesn't seem to be resulting in many marriages at that church). I doubt they had ever been allowed to date and I don't know if they were courting or not. I suspect their relationship, whatever it was, was a secret. Anyway, let's try to keep this more general. OK -- sorry! :blush: I thought we were talking about that couple specifically, as well as the topic in general. Clearly, though, a certain couple's church should really think about getting better chaperones. ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted April 7, 2013 Share Posted April 7, 2013 Well, I don't know her well, but her brother said "they group up together." Her church promotes courtship (defined as the young man needing to be approved by the woman's dad before they spend much time together, and then they only spend time together chaperoned. It's supposedly to preserve "purity", prevent divorce, and prevent heartbreak. So far, it doesn't seem to be resulting in many marriages at that church). I doubt they had ever been allowed to date and I don't know if they were courting or not. I suspect their relationship, whatever it was, was a secret. Anyway, let's try to keep this more general. I'm guessing some work out and some do not. Even before the Purity Movement, folks got pregnant before the wedding night. I am sure the odds are better if one believes they can hold onto certain dreams/hopes, even with a child (and a partner who shares dreams). There are no laws which say one must set up household with a jerk, just because you got a daddy with a gun, a cellar apartment, and a futon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ghee Posted April 7, 2013 Share Posted April 7, 2013 You know, my mom has talked about this at times. She knows a few couples that were shotgun weddings either while the bride was still in high school or immediately after graduation (these would be classmates of hers). She said that she always smugly assumed that they'd be miserable and divorce, but many of them are still happily married after all these years. I really think it's luck of the draw and the people's dedication to making it work (and a combination thereof) that make or break a shotgun marriage. Alternatively, I know a couple who dated all through high school and several years after. They were considered "the perfect" couple and everyone assumed, when they wed, that they'd be married for life. Two weeks after the wedding, he came home from work and found her in a compromising position on their kitchen counter. He threw her, her boyfriend, and all her things out in the front yard. Super short marriage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted April 7, 2013 Share Posted April 7, 2013 generally, the stats aren't good. probably similar to those who live together before marriage without initial plans to marry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxMom Posted April 7, 2013 Share Posted April 7, 2013 I'd say a better predictor of the happiness of their marriage is whether they want to work towards a healthy marriage and whether their community provides support in difficult times. I agree. Pregnancy at the time of the wedding, or rushing the date because of it, don't seem remarkable unless they're a couple of teenagers (and thus not really ready for long term commitment) or didn't have much of a relationship already (as in a casual or short term thing). One thing I *can* be sure of: no one knows what goes on in someone else's relationship. Especially if there is no contact with one or both of the parties. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted April 7, 2013 Share Posted April 7, 2013 One thing I *can* be sure of: no one knows what goes on in someone else's relationship. Especially if there is no contact with one or both of the parties. Heck, there are plenty who don't know a lot of what happens inside their own. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lacie Posted April 7, 2013 Share Posted April 7, 2013 I didn't even know pregnancy was still a reason to force a wedding. I also thought good girls didn't do that (8 lb preemies notwithstanding). Is there really enough popcorn to go around? Dh and I had a short engagement, but it was planned that way. I know two couples that had a "shotgun wedding" on is still together after 15 years, the other is divorced after about 5 years or so. I don't see why one mistake (sex before marriage) has to lead to another mistake (marrying the wrong person). As to the 8 lb preemie, I think it is possible but not very likely. I had our first child just after our first anniversary. He was 6 weeks early and weighed 7 lbs 2 oz. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan in TN Posted April 7, 2013 Share Posted April 7, 2013 I know of 3 - dh's sister whose marriage was not a good thing and eventually ended in divorce after about 25 years, her daughter's marriage (very strong pressure to marry) which ended in divorce after about 6 years, and another niece who was pressured to marry by her grandparents, but not by her own parents - her parents did approve of the marriage eventually and they are still married, happily as far as we can tell, 12 years later. I don't know if I'd call her wedding shotgun. All these happened in a family where the fathers/grandfathers were/are pastors of very conservative churches and so lots and lots of family embarrassment involved. My personal belief is that it's far worse/unBiblical to marry badly than to have a child out of wedlock. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted April 7, 2013 Share Posted April 7, 2013 Clearly, though, a certain couple's church should really think about getting better chaperones. ;) :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JumpyTheFrog Posted April 7, 2013 Author Share Posted April 7, 2013 My personal belief is that it's far worse/unBiblical to marry badly than to have a child out of wedlock. That is our concern with the rushed marriages supported by this group. They really, really don't believe in divorce and women are supposed to obey their husbands. Plus, contraception is frowned upon, so I am worried about young women having 2-3 kids before they even figure out if they married the right person or not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joker Posted April 7, 2013 Share Posted April 7, 2013 The only ones I know of are still married. Of course, according to statistics I don't think dh and I should still be happily married after 15 years since we lived together first. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer3141 Posted April 7, 2013 Share Posted April 7, 2013 Oh my gosh! I haven't popcorn! We just got a new air popper!! And a ton of Uncle Bob's corn. Come on over! ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LucyStoner Posted April 7, 2013 Share Posted April 7, 2013 Well, my mother wasn't pregnant but her mother pressured her to marry some dude when she was 21. My grandmother really wanted her to marry the guy because his dad was in some local position of authority. She had it annulled faster than a Kardashian wedding when the guy didn't mind his snotty nephew smacking her in the face repeatedly with a toy sword...the night she had her 4 wisdom teeth extracted. My grandparents were pretty much forced to marry. My great-grandfather was convinced they had already had sex though they maintained he was incorrect. My grandmother was 19 or so. He drove her to the military base where my grandfather was stationed, spoke to my grandfather's commanding officer and the commanding officer told my grandfather to marry her. He had no parents living and felt he had to do whatever he was told to do. They were married the next day or so without anyone in attendance besides her parents and a few of my grandfather's military buddies. It wasn't under the threat of gun violence but it was not really optional or optimal for either of them. They were married 56 years until my grandfather died. My dad was born 9.5 months so even if they did have sex, it would have been impossible for my great-grandfather to know if she was pregnant. My grandfather was happy and loved her quite a bit. My grandmother was not especially happy all the times, but honestly that was more the 9 kids thing than the marriage. Had she been born 3-4 decades later, I can totally see my grandmother choosing to not have children or waiting until she was into her 30s to do so. She wasn't a bitter or miserable person but you could always see/tell that she had regrets. I think she loved him but not like he loved her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I.Dup. Posted April 7, 2013 Share Posted April 7, 2013 Mine was a shotgun wedding. I was 19 and 5 months pregnant, we had known each other for 3 months when I got pregnant. You better believe we were both under HUGE pressure to get married- as in, we would have basically been disowned by both of our families had we not married. It's worked out pretty well for us. We are not the most compatible couple but that could be a blessing. Our opposite natures compliment each other really well. My mom's first marriage was a shotgun wedding, but her husband turned out to be a philandering douche. I think whether or not the marriage works out depends greatly on the personalities of the spouses involved. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LucyStoner Posted April 7, 2013 Share Posted April 7, 2013 Oh, my SIL was pregnant when she married my brother. It wasn't outside pressure though, they both wanted to get married. Now it looks that they may be headed for a divorce. It's been 12 years and 2 kids. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted April 7, 2013 Share Posted April 7, 2013 I think there are worse reasons to get married than a desire to give their child a more stable life where both parents can be as fully involved as possible. I think their chances of a successful marriage depends on family that expects them to and supports them in that and their commitment to each other to make it happen. It's not like I can't name dozens of older people who married without pregnancy reasons whose marriage bombed. If the couple is married, it really doesn't matter why or what anyone else thinks. I don't see how criticism of their situation or marriage will help them make a strong marriage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted April 7, 2013 Share Posted April 7, 2013 Dbl post Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slipper Posted April 7, 2013 Share Posted April 7, 2013 I think the wording of 'shotgun marriage' is a bit fuzzy. To me, a shotgun marriage is where a pregnant female and family force the young man to get married and he agrees unwillingly. Just because a pregnancy is involved does not make it a shotgun marriage in my opinion. Pregnancy prior to marriage may complicate matters, but I think if a couple is committed to making things work and willing to grow up fast, they will be fine. In regular marriage, a willingness to make things work and grow up is also needed - lol. My Step-brother and SIL had a rocky start to their marriage. She was pregnant, her family was furious, my step-brother loved her AND wanted to do the right thing. The wedding was full of arguments between the families but things settled over the years. Babies and children have the ability to soften hearts over time. They had their struggles - probably more than their share, but they are still together after 18 years and writing each other sappy love notes and dedicating songs to each other on facebook and everywhere they go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murmer Posted April 7, 2013 Share Posted April 7, 2013 The statistics say that "shotgun" weddings don't work out....BUT that is a statistic and it is more a question of if the couple is going to work at their marriage...as a famous celebrity said of his celebrity wife " I want to thank you for working on our marriage for 10 Christmases. It’s good. It is work but the best kind of work and there’s no one I’d rather work with" I think less than the issue of being pregnant at the time of the wedding it is more a matter of being very young at the time of the wedding and one or both parties feeling reluctant at having to be married which make it harder to work on it and make it stay. Sadly a marriage cannot be a one sided endeavor there are 2 parties that need to be invested to make it work happily (most of the time). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyfaithe Posted April 7, 2013 Share Posted April 7, 2013 Welp, I'm a shotgun wedding and here we are going on 19 years. My parents (my mom's second marriage to my step dad) are a shotgun wedding and they're on 35 years, my Aunt and Uncle are shotgun and they're going on year 55. So. We were a " shotgun" wedding although we were planning to get married eventually. We have been married over 27 year snow. Now husband is my all time best friend and we laugh about how our parents behaved....moronic if you ask me now.....but que cera! For us, it worked out better than we could have imagined.....and ftr, neither of our families were religious in any way....they just wanted to " save face". Moronic!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lynn Posted April 7, 2013 Share Posted April 7, 2013 Yes, that's what I mean. This couple had a one WEEK engagement (when she is very into fashion and would be the type who would take months to find the perfect dress) and a baby on the way whose due date is "too soon." I have no contact with her, so I'm not trying to get involved in any way. I'm just wondering about their chances of long-term happiness. DH and I are inclined to think that their chances of divorce (or a miserable marriage, since this cultish group considers divorce a horrible sin) are high. Divorced or miserable for many years. I know of a situation of a shot gun wedding. Never understood why the lady stayed lived such a miserable life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lynn Posted April 7, 2013 Share Posted April 7, 2013 dbl post Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HomeschoolMamaOfTwo Posted April 7, 2013 Share Posted April 7, 2013 I know two of them. One divorced after about 7 years. One still married about 10 years, but not happily. Not sure that means anything, but those are just the ones I know personally. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stripe Posted April 7, 2013 Share Posted April 7, 2013 I'm guessing some work out and some do not. Even before the Purity Movement, folks got pregnant before the wedding night. I was told 1/4 of colonial brides were pregnant at marriage, and in some cultures it is considered advantageous because then the man knows the woman is fertile and is therefore more desirable. Take that for what you will! At any rate, I am not sure how you'd find statistics on this. When I was in college, a girl I knew got pregnant after a spring break encounter. The guy agreed to marry her. Then she had a miscarriage. I thought that would end their relationship, but they did get married (although not so quickly) and went on to have other children. As far as I know, 15+ years later, they are still together. I also have an aunt who got married in her last year of high school. I never thought to wonder if she was pregnant at the time and I certainly wouldn't ask now. She has been (apparently happily) married for 60 years. I think it depends how much someone wants to stay married, whether they weather the inevitable storms that come in marriage. In some cultures, divorce is very very awful, while in others it is accepted or tolerated to various degrees. I think that might affect things considerably. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ipsey Posted April 7, 2013 Share Posted April 7, 2013 My father's first marriage (in high school) was a "shotgun" wedding. I have a half-brother 10 years older than I am. :) The marriage ended after about a year. So, there's some useless anecdotal evidence for you. Here's my thought. Just because someone has sex with a person, doesn't mean they want to marry--especially for teens. Being forced into a life-long arrangement because of one or two (or perhaps a dozen or more) sexual encounters, does not bode well. Some people who WANT to get married can't make it work. So, coercion, of whatever flavor is not likely to help much. That said, I know of a couple who got pregnant in high school, got married, had 2 children, and are still happily married 14 years later. But, they wanted to be married, and they were pretty mature, committed kids, so. . . . But, I think that's a different animal altogether. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom in High Heels Posted April 7, 2013 Share Posted April 7, 2013 My cousin had a shotgun wedding at 18 (she was a senior in high school). She had been dating the father (19 at the time) for about 3 months when she got pg and my aunt and uncle and his parents put a lot of pressure on him to marry her. They waited until after the baby was born to get married so she would still be on my uncle's insurance because she was still in school. They got married about 3 weeks after the baby was born. Unfortunately, the baby died of SIDS 2 months after they got married, but they stayed together and had 2 more kids, who are now 20 and 19. I chatted with her on FB the other night and she told me that after 23 years of marriage they are getting divorced. He stared doing meth and left her for his dealer's sister. Nice. She said they were never really unhappy until he started on meth and she wouldn't put up with it. So, it did last a long time, but it apparently isn't now. A lot of people (mostly extended family members) were convinced James Bond and I were having a shotgun wedding (despite the fact that we were engaged for 8 months) because we got married while we were still in college. We didn't have Indy until we had been married for 7 years. Ha! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissKNG Posted April 7, 2013 Share Posted April 7, 2013 ETA: By "shotgun wedding" I mean where a couple ends up pregnant and the parents (especially the woman's parents) strongly pressure the couple to marry, regardless of their compatibility. No actual shotgun is necessary. If the woman was not pregnant, the parents wouldn't be pressuring or encouraging them to marry, and in fact, they might not even think it was a good idea otherwise. I know of a few of these sorts of weddings due to pregnancy and I can't think of any that didn't result in divorce. Sadly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
********* Posted April 7, 2013 Share Posted April 7, 2013 Well, all I can say is that I'm forever grateful that dh and his older children's mother did NOT have a shotgun wedding. They most certainly would have ended up divorced (based on the fact that, well, they're not still together right now, LOL). Because of my personal beliefs on divorce and remarriage, I therefore would not have married my dh. I see NO reason to pressure someone into getting married because the woman is pregnant. It doesn't fix *anything*. If you believe sex before marriage is a sin, then getting married after having sex doesn't change that, you know? And marriage is a sacred bond that the Lord does NOT take lightly. If my children were ever in this postion (God forbid, but seeing as my dh was, I *am* realistic about the posibility), I would NOT counsel them to get married based on the pregnancy alone. What an awful idea. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted April 7, 2013 Share Posted April 7, 2013 A lot of people (mostly extended family members) were convinced James Bond and I were having a shotgun wedding (despite the fact that we were engaged for 8 months) because we got married while we were still in college. We didn't have Indy until we had been married for 7 years. Ha! I think you should call the Guinness people, because I'm pretty sure 7 years would qualify as the longest pregnancy in history. You must have been sooooooooooo sick of maternity clothes. :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
********* Posted April 7, 2013 Share Posted April 7, 2013 Thinking about my personal enounters a bit more... My mom and dad were 18 and 19 when they married. Dad was like two months out of highschool. They had my sister exactly 9 months later; conceived on their honeymoon. So, not a shotgun wedding. They divorced after only 4 years. They were highschool sweethearts, and it could've been a wonderful love story. Except my mother had a miscarrage the pregnancy after me. She had to deliver the baby dead at 7 months along. Apparently this caused her to have a mental breakdown. She got into drugs and was never the same person after. So sad. My bil and sil had their first child before marriage, and married one month before dh and I. So, they've been married 11 years now. They had another child after marriage. I don't know if it was a shotgun wedding, but I do suspect HIS parents put pressure on them, as they are religious people. Anyway, while they don't seem particularly thrilled to be married to each other, LOL, they also don't seem like they'll get divorced anytime soon. So there's my stories, FWIW. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer3141 Posted April 7, 2013 Share Posted April 7, 2013 I don't know actually anyone who has had a shotgun wedding. In my family's culture, it's not an issue. We'd never demand someone "correct" a mistake by making a potentially much larger one. DH's family is far more religious but no one there gets pregnant before they marry. They follow their faith's tenets pretty darn well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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