Can somebody explain detention to me?

[Ester Maria]

Coming from a different school culture, I never really understood this. Can somebody explain to me how it works? :tongue_smilie:

 

So, from what I understand, when a student gets a detention, they have to go to some place or stay in the classroom longer (after the school is done?) or something along those lines? Can somebody explain to me the logistics of it? For what can one get detention? How long does it last? Can the school force you to stay at school after school - what if you get a detention the day you have to leave right after school because your family is traveling or something like that? Is it up to you whether you go to detention or does somebody follow you, like in jail? What happens if you do not go? What does one DO in a detention? Are you allowed to bring a book and read? Can you talk to other students? Are there things you are requested to do? Is detention always after school or can it happen at any point in the day? Is it like a special room, a mini prison, for the whole school?

 

I will probably think of more stupid questions, but I am really curious about it - somebody mentioned it on the other thread and I thought hey, this is one of those things I always wanted to ask, but never really did.

 

So, enlighten me - what IS the detention in the US school culture?

 

Thank you in advance.

[Mrs Mungo]

I only received detention once. It was for reading a novel in science class. I had to stay after school for detention. I did homework.

 

eta: I couldn't do it on the "normal" detention day for some reason, so I just sat next to the school secretary for an hour after school on the day when I could do it.

Edited August 19, 2011 by Mrs Mungo

[6packofun]

No, I can't. I really can't. lol

[Dmmetler]

I think the main purpose of it is to reduce social time-by letting a student leave after their friends have, you've cut back that interaction. Most schools now have detention served the day after it's assigned, so that the student can arrange transportation. Usually students can work on homework or read silently, but not talk. Sometimes there will be other assignments given, usually dealing with writing about the offense and how not to reoffend.

 

From what I've seen, detention is more a punishment for the teacher (and, for students too young to get themselves home, the parent) than for the student. In School suspension is similar, but occurs during the school day-the student reports to a separate room instead of their regular classroom, and does silent work during the day, isolated from others and without social opportunities, instead of being allowed interaction with the other kids.

 

I suspect that if I hadn't been such a rule follower and so unwilling to not meet my parents' expectations, I would have found I'd enjoyed ISS and detention quite a bit, especially in middle school. Waiting until later to walk home and avoid the gauntlet of bullies would have been great (I often hid in the music department for exactly that reason-and regularly walked 2 miles because that was preferable to taking the bus), and if ISS had kept me out of the cafeteria and hallways between classes, and let me just work on my own assignments and read quietly, it would have been heaven for the introverted, quirky, 2e kid I was.

[Rivka]

Coming from a different school culture, I never really understood this. Can somebody explain to me how it works? :tongue_smilie:

 

So, from what I understand, when a student gets a detention, they have to go to some place or stay in the classroom longer (after the school is done?) or something along those lines? Can somebody explain to me the logistics of it? For what can one get detention? How long does it last? Can the school force you to stay at school after school - what if you get a detention the day you have to leave right after school because your family is traveling or something like that? Is it up to you whether you go to detention or does somebody follow you, like in jail? What happens if you do not go? What does one DO in a detention? Are you allowed to bring a book and read? Can you talk to other students? Are there things you are requested to do? Is detention always after school or can it happen at any point in the day? Is it like a special room, a mini prison, for the whole school?

 

I will probably think of more stupid questions, but I am really curious about it - somebody mentioned it on the other thread and I thought hey, this is one of those things I always wanted to ask, but never really did.

 

So, enlighten me - what IS the detention in the US school culture?

 

Thank you in advance.

 

Detention is considered a minor punishment, so it can be assigned by a teacher at will. It might be assigned for offenses like "talking back" (being disrespectful), not doing an assignment, or disrupting class.

 

Detention may be served after school, during the lunch hour, or, at some schools, on Saturday morning. Depending on the severity of the offense, you might be given one day of detention or you might be given a week.

 

If there's a good reason (such as family travel) why you couldn't serve detention when assigned, it would typically be rescheduled.

 

Typically, one classroom will be set aside for detention, and a teacher or administrator will supervise. Typically, you can read or do homework but not talk to anyone or play games. Younger students, especially, might be given an assignment like writing lines. ("I will not talk in class," repeated 100 times.) You aren't escorted directly there, but there will be additional consequences imposed if you don't show up.

 

I think of "detention" as something that's given in middle school or high school - say, ages 12 and up. Younger children would be more likely to be kept in at recess for similar offenses.

[WishboneDawn]

I only received detention once. It was for reading a novel in science class. I had to stay after school for detention. I did homework.

 

eta: I couldn't do it on the "normal" detention day for some reason, so I just sat next to the school secretary for an hour after school on the day when I could do it.

 

My one time was for writing out things in Dungeons and Dragons runic rather then doing my math work. I spent my detention in a math class a grade ahead and loved it.

 

That paragraph explains why I never dated in high school.:glare:

[Grover]

I'm not in the US so our system may be a little different but how it works here is you receive a detention (for whatever the teacher decides to give you one for - talking in class, incomplete homework, forgetting your book, blah blah blah). In the schools I'm familiar with detention was on a particular day (let's say Wednesday). So you'd take a slip home for your parents to sign then on Wednesday you'd go to which ever room detention was being held in and you'd sit. In most cases you'd be given some mindless copying to do (character education at best, telephone book at worst). You'd do that in silence for the time alloted then go home. If you didn't go, you got another detention. If you got enough detentions built up you'd get a Saturday detention (think Breakfast Club) technically if you continued to not go you could be suspended, but if they needed you on academic teams that would never happen. Ask me how I know this ;)

[Jennifer]

Detention looks like

[ktgrok]

It meant staying after school. Normally only happened in highschool, but I did get detention once in elementary school. My science teacher gave me a morning detention for yelling in class. Even though it wasn't me, he didn't believe me. So he said I had to come to school early the next day for detention. When I showed up he was shocked... apparently I was the first kid to actually come, lol. It was a really cold day and he was making hot chocolate on a big hot plate for the whole grade, so I helped him do it. No big deal.

 

In highschool I got detention a few times. Generally for being late to class....I was always late to class. I also got it for chewing gum in class once. I would have to go to whatever room was assigned for that day, and sit there with a bunch of other kids for an hour or however long it was. You could read or do homework or sleep with your head on your desk but you couldn't talk. If you didn't show up I'm not sure what happened....I imagine you could make it up another day with a parent's note.

[momofede]

usually a period of time either before or after school....can be assigned for various reasons such as consequence for various behaviors, excessive tardies, absences, etc.

[MrsBasil]

I got a Saturday detention or Saturday school for skipping classes. It was held in the cafeteria and went from 9-12, I think. We had to be reading or working on homework or doing something. No sleeping, listening to music, or talking.

 

When I had after school detention it was only for 45 min to an hour and held in a classroom ran by the teacher who gave the detention, but the same rules applied.

 

We had to have something signed by our parents letting them know about the detention, so I don't think it was ever held the same day? Can't remember exactly, but I think there was room for a parent to switch days if one wasn't good for them.

[elegantlion]

Generally detention is used for minor infractions. Suspension would be a higher level of punishment. In our school, mainly high school, those in detention were also responsible for their own transportation, if you served an after school suspension.

[Ester Maria]

I only received detention once. It was for reading a novel in science class. I had to stay after school for detention. I did homework.

 

eta: I couldn't do it on the "normal" detention day for some reason, so I just sat next to the school secretary for an hour after school on the day when I could do it.

Thanks for the answer. How do they determine the time, though? Is it like a regular school period from bell to bell or a different amount of time?

No, I can't. I really can't. lol

I hope this is not due to trauma from school detentions! :)

In School suspension is similar, but occurs during the school day-the student reports to a separate room instead of their regular classroom, and does silent work during the day, isolated from others and without social opportunities, instead of being allowed interaction with the other kids.

 

I suspect that if I hadn't been such a rule follower and so unwilling to not meet my parents' expectations, I would have found I'd enjoyed ISS and detention quite a bit, especially in middle school.

I have to admit that my first thought was that the in-school suspension sounds great... :tongue_smilie: I know I probably have an idyllic picture in my mind, though LOL. But the idea of being allowed to do your work or read silently and mind your own business, without interruptions... I could do this.

Detention may be served after school, during the lunch hour, or, at some schools, on Saturday morning. Depending on the severity of the offense, you might be given one day of detention or you might be given a week.

 

[...] You aren't escorted directly there, but there will be additional consequences imposed if you don't show up.

(Hmm, if the school does it on Saturday, what happens if you are Jewish?)

 

How do they know you did not go, though? Is there a way to trick them and make them think you did go to the detention without actually going? Do they control these things? Do you need a signature from some authority to show back to the teacher or something?

 

Thank you for your explanation. :)

I spent my detention in a math class a grade ahead and loved it.

:D Well, if they send you to a classroom where something interesting was being done... that is good.

but if they needed you on academic teams that would never happen. Ask me how I know this ;)

Good you mention this, another thing I wanted to ask - what is up with that thing that you cannot participate in activities or extracurriculars if you have detention that week? Why? What does you having talked back or something have to do with math team, for example, if it is not scheduled at the same time as the detention?

Detention looks like

:001_unsure: LOL.

Generally for being late to class....I was always late to class. I also got it for chewing gum in class once. I would have to go to whatever room was assigned for that day, and sit there with a bunch of other kids for an hour or however long it was. You could read or do homework or sleep with your head on your desk but you couldn't talk. If you didn't show up I'm not sure what happened....I imagine you could make it up another day with a parent's note.

Sounds like I would have been a candidate for that detention too - I was often late.

[MIch elle]

My ds's private school gives detention for anything that violates the school rules (in the school handbook). Ds received detention once because he didn't shave his face for 2 days. Detention is 45 min after school (different teachers take turns) on the day you are "served". During detention you SIT THERE - no reading, talking, homework - NOTHING- just thinking - no sleeping either. His school is STRICT.

[Ester Maria]

My ds's private school gives detention for anything that violates the school rules (in the school handbook). Ds received detention once because he didn't shave his face for 2 days. Detention is 45 min after school (different teachers take turns) on the day you are "served". During detention you SIT THERE - no reading, talking, homework - NOTHING- just thinking - no sleeping either. His school is STRICT.

Wow. :001_huh:

[Dobela]

Every school seems to do it differently. When I taught 6th grade, we have more than one type of detention. Which one you received depended on what you did wrong. We had one room set aside for detention. There was a trained aid in there and she kept all kids from all the grades in our building. The lowest form of detention was just missing recess. Usually that happened if you did not complete homework. You stayed in detention every recess until you completed the missed assignment. You could also get detention for other reasons but that was the most common.

 

The next was all day detention, sometimes called In-school-suspension. There you stayed in that room for everything. Even lunch was brought to you. You did work all day, most of it purely busy work that was thrown out instead of graded. Boring, mundane, awful. You reported to that room as soon as you arrived at school.

 

We never did after school detention, unless the parent requested it, because all of our students were bussed in. Some working families just couldn't take off to pick the child up an hour later.

 

 

 

(Hmm, if the school does it on Saturday, what happens if you are Jewish?) We did have Saturday Detention. It was more like In School Suspension and sometimes offered to parents instead of Out of School suspension. The kids came at 7 and left at noon. I often was the teacher in charge on Saturday as I liked the extra pay in my check.

 

How do they know you did not go, though? Is there a way to trick them and make them think you did go to the detention without actually going? Do they control these things? Do you need a signature from some authority to show back to the teacher or something? The detention teacher knew in advance who was to be there. She took roll call in the detention room. The students and their parents also knew in advance that the child was giong to be in suspension the next day. IF it was just for recess, we had a special hall pass for that.

 

Thank you for your explanation. :)

 

:D Well, if they send you to a classroom where something interesting was being done... that is good.

Nope, the purpose of detention and ISS was to make the day as dull, repetitive, and awful as possible. Nothing interested happened. It wasn't allowed. A local school I know of now also has regularly scheduled calesthenics for jr and sr high students in ISS. THe PE coach comes in and has them running, jumping jacks, stretches, and other strenuous, continuous physical activity for at least 45 minutes.

 

Good you mention this, another thing I wanted to ask - what is up with that thing that you cannot participate in activities or extracurriculars if you have detention that week? Why? What does you having talked back or something have to do with math team, for example, if it is not scheduled at the same time as the detention?

Depends on the school and the activities. Some will not allow you to participate in activities the same day you are in all day suspension.

:001_unsure: LOL.

 

Sounds like I would have been a candidate for that detention too - I was often late.

[Julie Smith]

Slighty off topic. But my son had a t-shirt that said "Grounded". It had a picture of a plane. Well the term grounded was explained to him, "as in forced to stay home."

 

He said, "Mom I want to be grounded. So I can play computer games all day".

[stripe]

We did not have detention in my high school because virtually everyone was bussed in. (I think. Anyway I never got it.)

 

However, the point is to punish you by making you sit in a confined place. I doubt you can talk, maybe you can do work, but you are held captive. And yes, you'd have to go. No one cares about family vacation. Who even goes on family vacation??

 

My favorite punishment is suspension. You're bad, so stay out of school for a day! That'll learn 'em!

 

Watch "The Breakfast Club"! Heh.

Edited August 19, 2011 by stripe

[Photo Ninja]

Detention works on the theory that kids don't like being in school, so it is punishment to make them stay there after they would normally be allowed to go home. They are also usually bored during detention because (at my schools) you had to sit still and quietly at a desk for the hour, no reading or doing homework or talking. And all your friends went home an hour earlier, so you have to walk home alone or get your own ride. If the student does not go to detention, he often has double detention (two days instead of one) or has to go on Saturday.

 

In reality, it is worse for the teacher who oversees detention than for the students in detention. I doubt it actually teaches the student to be better behaved in class (not doing whatever he/she was doing that resulted in detention). But schools are limited in what they can actually do to punish students for bad behavior or breaking school rules. They don't want to expel the student because then the school loses their daily money for that student.

 

Many schools don't allow a student to participate in extra curricular school activities (sports teams, band, clubs, etc.) if they had detention because they are making the activity be a deterrent to bad or rule-breaking behavior. If the student wants to participate, he won't break rules. In theory. But in reality, if the school thinks it needs that student to participate in the team sport or whatever, they will find a way to avoid the detention so the student can participate anyway. Some schools follow that rule, but when the star football players can't play that week and the school loses the game because of it, people yell, and the schools sometimes don't like dealing with that.

[itsheresomewhere]

DS (who has autism) has had several detentions in elementary school so far and he is under 10 years old. My favorites so far- telling a bully he was a butt while the kid poked him with a stick, not understand social things and not being socially appropriate, and telling a teacher she was a meanie when she told him he deserved to be beaten up by a bully. They knew I would make a massive fuss and would tell me after he served.

 

Gee, can't imagine why he is home schooled this year.

[laundrycrisis]

I served a lot of detention. :blush: High school was very much not my thing.

 

Once I got a notice I had three days to start serving the time. I could go either for an hour before school or an hour after school. We had a dedicated detention hall. We were only allowed to do homework or study, no talking or recreational reading. If we left the room for any reason during the session then we had to start the whole hour over in another session.

 

If we didn't serve all the time assigned within one week, we would be suspended for some number of days, with ISSP (in-school suspension). This was being removed from the general school population and doing all of your assignments all day long in an ultra-strict lock-down study hall environment. There was a dedicated portable building just for that. You didn't leave the portable building for the entire six hours. You could get academic help with your assignments from the ISSP teacher but didn't get to talk to anyone else all day.

 

I never minded detention but I did not want ISSP so I always served my detention. The way I saw it, I could skip the history class I loathed and have a nice quiet hour after school to get my homework done. A couple of times I even showed up at detention before the office had sent me the notice, and I was turned away because serving it in advance was not allowed ! :lol: No notice, no admission.....sorry girl, you'll have to do your homework someplace else today. :tongue_smilie:

[Laura Corin]

Hobbes got a detention last year. It was for fighting in the playground - there was more to it than that, but that's what the teacher saw. He did detention at lunchtime - instead of playing. He had to sit and write a paragraph about why he shouldn't fight.

 

Laura

[KungFuPanda]

You have to watch The Breakfast Club. Detention is exactly like that EVERY time. For real.

[cathmom]

Detention at the school I currently teach at is during lunch for 25 minutes. Students have to go to a specific room and they may not do anything but eat their lunch (which we by law have to allow them to do LOL). They cannot talk, work, read, put their heads down, etc. If they cut, they get 2 more.

[Ester Maria]

Several of you mentioned that film... I guess I should watch it. :tongue_smilie:

 

Thank you for your explanations, to all of you!

 

 

(itsheresomewhere :grouphug:)

[Hunter's Moon]

I've only had detention a handful of times. All teachers were different for why they assigned detention.

 

One gave me detention for being late to her third floor class even though I had to run from gym (the first floor and complete opposite side of the school) and we only had 4 minutes to do so. Oh, and we had over 2000 students, so quite crowded, as well.

 

I've gotten it a handful of times for talking in class or speaking out of turn in a debate (history, mainly :tongue_smilie:)

 

Usually it's a half hour to an hour and it's held on their specific detention days. Some teachers did detention every day, but if you got in trouble on a Monday, your detention would be Tuesday so you could inform your parents.

 

You could do homework, or you could just sit there and stare at the board :tongue_smilie:

 

Detention never worked for the kids who got them constantly. They would still come back and disrupt the class :glare:

[cathmom]

Several of you mentioned that film... I guess I should watch it. :tongue_smilie:

 

Thank you for your explanations, to all of you!

 

 

(itsheresomewhere :grouphug:)

 

only watch it if you want to be completely disgusted by American culture! :tongue_smilie:

[joannqn]

The one detention I got in middle school was served on a Saturday. We spent half of the time doing maintenance chores of the campus and the other half sitting in a classroom silently doing work or reading that we brought with us. It lasted four hours. I don't remember what I did to earn it, though it might have been for the time I ditched school to avoid getting into a fight.

[Ester Maria]

only watch it if you want to be completely disgusted by American culture! :tongue_smilie:

I doubt it can be worse from that americanized teen culture classic film we have... :glare: LOL.

[KungFuPanda]

A sneak peek! Breakfast Club Dance Break!!!

 

 

[Heather in Neverland]

At my school we give detention to middle and high school students only and it is served for 3 hours on Saturday morning and the kids do manual labor... Rake leaves, pick up trash, etc.

 

It is a consequence given for repeated breaking of school rules... Not the first offense. So you would get that detention if you were late 3 times, for example.

[Stages]

This is based on my experience in school. It may not be the same as everyone else's experience, though.

 

Coming from a different school culture, I never really understood this. Can somebody explain to me how it works? :tongue_smilie:

 

So, from what I understand, when a student gets a detention, they have to go to some place or stay in the classroom longer (after the school is done?)] or something along those lines? In my school, you would go to a specified classroom or the mini-auditorium after school was over.[/colorCan somebody explain to me the logistics of it? For what can one get detention? I once got detention for not having the notebook I needed for class. Others got detention for things like talking in class, being disruptive, dress code violations, etc. How long does it last? I believe it was 50 minutes, but I could be wrong.Can the school force you to stay at school after school - what if you get a detention the day you have to leave right after school because your family is traveling or something like that? We had the option to serve detention that day or the following day. If it was the following day, a parent had to sign the detention slip acknowledging it. Is it up to you whether you go to detention or does somebody follow you, like in jail? It was up to you to make sure you got there on time.What happens if you do not go? After three times of missing detention, one would get suspended for a day.What does one DO in a detention? Are you allowed to bring a book and read? Yes, one had to do homework or read a book in detention.Can you talk to other students? No. Even things like sneezing too much could result in an additional detention.Are there things you are requested to do?In my experience, no. Is detention always after school or can it happen at any point in the day?It was always after school. Is it like a special room, a mini prison, for the whole school?It was a room set aside for detention for that day. It could have been a classroom or the auditorium, depending on what was not in use at the time.

 

I will probably think of more stupid questions, but I am really curious about it - somebody mentioned it on the other thread and I thought hey, this is one of those things I always wanted to ask, but never really did.

 

So, enlighten me - what IS the detention in the US school culture?

 

Thank you in advance.

[Meriwether]

My one time was for writing out things in Dungeons and Dragons runic rather then doing my math work. I spent my detention in a math class a grade ahead and loved it.

 

That paragraph explains why I never dated in high school.:glare:

 

My one detention was a class detention. Thank you, classmates.:glare:

 

OP, as far as I can remember, I never assigned detentions as a teacher. If kids were tardy, they accrued them automatically. I did help in the ISS room as part of my teacher duty. The ISS room was kind of like a prison.

[SonshineLearner]

At my school we give detention to middle and high school students only and it is served for 3 hours on Saturday morning and the kids do manual labor... Rake leaves, pick up trash, etc.

 

It is a consequence given for repeated breaking of school rules... Not the first offense. So you would get that detention if you were late 3 times, for example.

 

I don't think we can do that here; here that would be breaking some type of law. But, I bet it would work!! ;)

When I was in PS in Texas, they paddled kids; I was the first one who must have asked for the waiver. I thought it was quite odd that they had to figure out where the waivers were. What teen would be ok with being paddled? Anyway, they found it. I was sick a lot the few months I went to the school, I would sit at the nurse's office and hear the paddling. I was glad to leave the school!!! (they were painting forever at the school and it made me sick:()

[cathmom]

I doubt it can be worse from that americanized teen culture classic film we have... :glare: LOL.

 

Which one is that?

[amo_mea_filiis.]

I used to get detention for cutting class. I'd cut detention for 3 days an earn 2 days of in school suspension. I loved ISS (but the school was too dumb to figure that out)!

 

I would make up all needed work by 3rd period (except english. She would only give the work when you were supposed to be in her class which for me was 5th period) and spend the rest of the day making towns out of construction paper.

 

I cut to avoid bullies and ISS would allow me to be in school, work as fast as I wanted to, and still avoid bullies. I spent most of 9th and 10th grades in ISS.

[laundrycrisis]

I used to get detention for cutting class. I'd cut detention for 3 days an earn 2 days of in school suspension. I loved ISS (but the school was too dumb to figure that out)!

 

I would make up all needed work by 3rd period (except english. She would only give the work when you were supposed to be in her class which for me was 5th period) and spend the rest of the day making towns out of construction paper.

 

I cut to avoid bullies and ISS would allow me to be in school, work as fast as I wanted to, and still avoid bullies. I spent most of 9th and 10th grades in ISS.

 

I think we could have been friends in HS....:lol:

[unsinkable]

.

Edited August 20, 2011 by unsinkable

[cathmom]

So what do they do in Italy when students misbehave? Or don't they ever? :D

[roxanne23]

.

Edited January 4, 2023 by roxanne23

[stripe]

So what do they do in Italy when students misbehave? Or don't they ever? :D

Caning? (Corporal punishment was outlawed in Italy only in 1996.)

 

Or maybe...threatening to tell the student's mother! Ack!

[Ester Maria]

Which one is that?

I will send you the title(s) via PM, if you wish. ;)

 

To post them online for the world to see, I cannot do it to my country, LOL. I wish you all to believe that Italy is a wonderful, cultured country filled with classically educated people, lovely landscape and an amazing intellectual and art tradition, in which they simply do not know how to produce bad movies because it is so uncongenial with the very Italian nature... :tongue_smilie:

 

If you tell me that the facts are against me, I will reply to you in the good ol' Hegelian fashion - so much worse for the facts. :lol:

 

Oh, they know how to make a horrible teen film. And how. Believe me, no such kitsch and lack of taste as the Italian kitsch and lack of taste. Italy is the extreme in both directions, I think - Italy has some of the most sophisticated and skillful world art, paired up with some of the most banal, cheap schund you can find. I blame it on modernism, I think it was such a shock to the fragile, beauty-driven soul of Italy that it has never quite recovered from it.

So what do they do in Italy when students misbehave? Or don't they ever? :D

Never. Ever. Italian students are perfect, with immaculate school attendance and records. The whole country is perfect in every aspect. It is so perfect that it fakes the financial, social and political crisis in front of the world so that the world would not be envious of such a perfect place in these hard times, out of genuine solidarity alone.

LOL.

 

Well, it depends, but where I went to school, when you crossed the line, you would hear your last name screamed with a forcefully added: "OOOOOUT!! NOW!!" You would probably attempt to apologize before leaving, though typically nobody would be taking the whole thing too seriously.

 

You would go out of school, especially if it was the last period, with your friends who have just been kicked out of the classroom with you. You would probably stop by at the library, check out some books, go to a cafe. Next two hours you spend caffeinizing yourself, reading a bit and waxing philosophically about the meaning of life.

 

Some time later you would be innocently climbing upstairs to your apartment, having already forgotten about everything. As soon as you would walk in, you would hear a familiar voice screaming at you AHI DISGRAZIATA, while you would be trying to figure out why is your mother so upset. You would mechanically jump aside to have her hand probably intended for your face actually hit the doorstep LOL, then you would suddenly remember and wonder how on Earth did she find out about it already. You would fake innocence; she would be looking at you attempting to be stern - though you would be able to see that she was barely controlling herself from laughing :lol: - and "YOU SHOULD HAVE LEFT EARLIER IF YOU WANTED TO! How do you allow yourself do be asked to leave?! For the second time this month!"

"I was not asked to leave, I was threatened to be thrown chalk at if I do not", you would blurt. :lol:

Your mother would be furious a bit, then she would laugh a bit, then she would sink into theatrical self-pity, "woe betide me with a daughter like this", paired up with some mother guilt-tripping such as: "I have struggled to bring you up a lady, I have opened my heart, my wallet and my kitchen to you, I have enquired ten families about their sons for you... but who will take you with this nature? Today expelled from school, tomorrow a criminal! Ah misera me! Sciagurata! Where do those genes come from, my daughter?! I gave you birth! Ten hours of that horrid labor! Ten hours! For... for a daughter who gets expelled from classes?!" :tongue_smilie:

She would cover her face, invoking your father, who would appear from somewhere in the background still reading a book: "School is not really her thing, is it? Oy, what do we do with her? We should marry her off as soon as possible, should we not?"

 

You would be heading to the dining room and sometime during the meal your father would gently say to you: "You will make up for those missed lessons, right?" You would reply, "But of course, I always do." He would nod and say, "Bene." Your mother would give you one last strict and poisonous look shaking her head and finally let it go.

 

That was at least my experience - but I was a good child, overall.

 

I was kicked out of class a few times - not too many, though. I was criticized privately by a few professors a few times, and quite harshly so, but that was usually related to my cutting classes and not putting much effort / just going through the motions (I had such periods), not for a single "offense", but if they noticed that for a while I have been quite apathetic, frequently absent or too disruptive. I have known of some people who went to have a chat with the principal when things were really bad, and then they would call your parents, but generally there was not much punishing.

 

Stripe, I do not know anyone who got physically punished at any school. I have heard stories about an odd slap in some extreme circumstances - such as at school trips abroad to semi-drunk students who were sneaking out of their rooms in the middle of the night :lol: - but not more than that. There were things like yelling, threatening to tell your mother what you did, actually telling your mother what you did, etc., but there were also benevolent moments of just letting things go.

 

There were things like suspensions or formal and registered written notifications which claimed something like "we are giving you one last chance before we expel you out of school", but I think all of those were reserved for big problems - minor day to day offenses were generally not systematically dealt with, just pushed aside (by kicking you out of the classroom, for example). Overall, discipline was not really enforced. It was not really enforced in studies either, it was expected that parents enforce it. It is not like you had to do things you missed out on, or write homework you failed to write or things like that - if it was for a grade, they would just give you a failing grade for that assignment, and if it was a non-graded thing which you did not do, they generally did nothing. I think pretty much everyone got pulled aside at some point by some professor who told them to cut it with nonsense and start applying themselves, but in a sort of benevolent, almost fatherly way - regarding actual focus on day to day discipline, there was none. Still, ironically, I do not recall many big offenses.

 

I do think these things differ quite a bit from school to school, though. But as a general principle, it was understood that the school deals with the "formal education" part, while the "upbringing" part was left for families to handle and they did not really try to correct or punish students. I am not sure that is true for all schools, especially today since the school culture has been changing, but I do not remember punishments, only a bit of (benevolent) moralizing now and then.

[cathmom]

I will send you the title(s) via PM, if you wish. ;)

 

 

 

Of course I wish! :D

[Ester Maria]

Of course I wish! :D

Sent.

 

One more question to all! Somebody mentioned passes, which is another US school culture motive I do not fully understand.

 

What is the purpose of those passes? In my country we could always leave the classroom (if we asked, or if we were kicked out, or if the class finished early), but there were no passes, like bathroom passes or things of the kind. Do all American schools have it or only some? Is it because of security (we did not have it) who may spot kids out of classrooms and bother them why they are out of classrooms?

 

And one more thing! (LOL, I think we should remain this thread to "all Ester wanted to know about the US school culture but was afraid to ask" :lol:) From what I understand, your kids cannot actually leave the school grounds whenever they please (not talking little kids, they take special care of them in all countries I think, but say high school age) - and if they want to leave early a parent has to come or let it know in advance? A parent cannot simply phone a kid during recess, tell them to come home earlier today, a kid go to a professor (whoever deals with these things), say it and be let go - or maybe even without talking to a professor, simply leave? From what I understand there is a different procedure? (I know these things are probably different from school to school, so the ones I am vaguely familiar with might not function the same way as others, but just curious.)

 

And thank you all to your replies so far. They are interesting to read. :)

Heather, I think my punctuality issues would have been magically cured if I had attended your school!

[amo_mea_filiis.]

 

What is the purpose of those passes? In my country we could always leave the classroom (if we asked, or if we were kicked out, or if the class finished early), but there were no passes, like bathroom passes or things of the kind. Do all American schools have it or only some? Is it because of security (we did not have it) who may spot kids out of classrooms and bother them why they are out of classrooms?

 

 

I had to get a Dr's note when my ds was in kindergarten last year. The teacher refused to let him go and said he was playing! (the bathroom was IN the classroom and one kid at a time).

 

In high school you had to have a pass (note) if you were late to class or had to go somewhere. I did get in trouble a few times for leaving the class to use the bathroom after I was told no.

[Violet Crown]

Believe me, no such kitsch and lack of taste as the Italian kitsch and lack of taste.

I knew this from the inevitable stamped declaration MADE IN ITALY on the bottoms of all those hideous sentimental plaster saint statues sold in parish gift shops. I've often wondered how the land of the Sistine Chapel and the Pieta could produce such ... stuff ... in such quantities. Or is it all for export?

[stripe]

What is the purpose of those passes? In my country we could always leave the classroom (if we asked, or if we were kicked out, or if the class finished early), but there were no passes, like bathroom passes or things of the kind. Do all American schools have it or only some? Is it because of security (we did not have it) who may spot kids out of classrooms and bother them why they are out of classrooms?

it's something to show the student has permission to be out of class. I attended a private elementary school which had a bathroom in the classroom, and I have no memory of ever leaving the class on my own or having a pass. However, students are expected to get permission to use the toilet, visit the nurse, go to the office, etc from the teacher. In some places it's written, in others, it's some object (like a piece of wood marked PASS). this is why there are comparisons to prisons.

 

And one more thing! (LOL, I think we should remain this thread to "all Ester wanted to know about the US school culture but was afraid to ask" :lol:) From what I understand, your kids cannot actually leave the school grounds whenever they please (not talking little kids, they take special care of them in all countries I think, but say high school age) - and if they want to leave early a parent has to come or let it know in advance? A parent cannot simply phone a kid during recess, tell them to come home earlier today, a kid go to a professor (whoever deals with these things), say it and be let go - or maybe even without talking to a professor, simply leave? From what I understand there is a different procedure? (

 

How does a parent call the kid? Well in my day we had no mobiles, so all such things went through the office. No, even a parent cannot take a kid. The parent must get permission from the office and then there is an arrangement made for the student to leave. Student coming and goings are controlled in most schools that I've seen. Ditto for visitors to a school.

[LeslieAnneLevine]

Just wanted to add a couple of things:

 

At my HS we had a detention room (it was also a classroom but it was the same one everyday for detention after school) and there would be a sign-in sheet (teachers submitted names of students who were to serve detention).

 

There were a couple of times I managed to sign in and sneak out, and the other few times that wasn't possible and I'd just have to sit there. What we were allowed to do depended on the person overseeing the detention. Sometimes you could read (if the book looked like something that would be assigned, not a fashion magazine, for example) or do homework and other times you just sat.

 

My detentions were usually for being late. I think I might have had one or two for "insubordination".

 

An unusual detention:

I had one teacher who gave detentions in his room that he supervised himself. He called it "punching the clock". He gave you a paper with a clock on it with a circle for each minute on the clock and a hole puncher. You would need to watch the clock and punch a hole for each minute. I only had to do that once and it was because he overheard me saying the F-word in his class.

 

I never experienced detention or in-school suspension (which was horrible! you could only do schoolwork and faced the wall, it was just so boring) that was anything like The Breakfast Club!

[Word Nerd]

I was in PS all through school and still have no idea what one does in detention.

[FiveOaksAcademy]

My experience was from the good old days when you could choose "licks" instead of detention. I had one class at one end of the building and another right after at the complete opposite end. It was hard to get there in the 5 minutes allowed, so 3 tardies equalled detention. If you wanted to, you could choose licks instead. I always chose the licks. My philosophy for that was: why would I ever pick to lose 1 hour of my time when I could have a moment of pain instead?