warriormom Posted February 27, 2011 Share Posted February 27, 2011 Ok, I have a secret to tell you.... I am not the world's best mom. After I have worked on homeschooling my son, I am not in the mood to play with him. I have my "to-do list" that consumes me, or I just need a break. On a good day I spend 30-60 minutes playing with him. Yes, that is a good day. Am I the only one? Any advice from fellow mommas out there? :o Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted February 27, 2011 Share Posted February 27, 2011 That's where I am blessed to have two boys so close in age. I can make them go play with each other! :grouphug: 30- 60 minutes of playtime after schooling sounds good. You are the mom, not the playmate. You have lots to take care of around the house. I wouldn't feel guilty. Do you have any neighbor kids or cousins that could come over once a week to play with him and give you a break? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angela in ohio Posted February 27, 2011 Share Posted February 27, 2011 Give up your guilt. My dd are happy and intelligent, and we have an incredible relationship, and I didn't play with them past their toddlerhood. :001_smile: I read to them, I included them in what I was doing, and I talked to them all day about our life and surroundings. That was plenty. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
5LittleMonkeys Posted February 27, 2011 Share Posted February 27, 2011 I don't even give my dc that much time. I play games with them during the course of school. Once it hits 3 I'm done for awhile. They can play with each other or alone. I tell them all the time...I'm not their playmate. I guess that is the advantage to having lots of dc. For what it is worth I think 30 -60 minutes is plenty of time. Don't underestimate the value of learning to entertain themselves. Even with all the dc in our house I still require them to go off and play by themselves often. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lionfamily1999 Posted February 27, 2011 Share Posted February 27, 2011 I think kids have to learn how to amuse themselves. I just put in hours teaching and guiding, they can put in a few playing without me :D Fwiw, I'm no good at playing. The kids know that :p They know that while Mom might stress herself out playing pirates for an afternoon, it's going to take me at least two weeks to recover... Oh, and I don't free play. I always have a plan. I was that kid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hooahwife Posted February 27, 2011 Share Posted February 27, 2011 I am not a good mom either, I guess. I play with the kids sometimes but generally speaking, I am not the entertainment committee. I have four children and I would much rather they amuse themselves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margo out of lurking Posted February 27, 2011 Share Posted February 27, 2011 (edited) I think 30-60 mins. of playtime with your ds is wonderful! There's no reason you should worry that you need to do that every day, or that it isn't enough! You have a full load already, hsing, and being a full time wife and mother. It is hard enough to be home full time with young ones without taking on the additional responsibility of educating your kids! (ETA: In that last sentence I mean that staying home is enough on its own, not to mention what you're adding by educating. I need caffeine.) My kids are four years apart, girl and boy. They have always been good playmates and still enjoy each other's company. I used to feel guilty that I didn't get to spend as much time with my younger son as I did my older dd. Then I realized that he was born into a different family than she was--he had an older sister to play with! Go easy on yourself. Enjoy the time you do spend with your kids, instead of feeling you "should" do more. You're giving them a great gift, each other, and the ability to entertain themselves. The older they get, the more you will appreciate what you've done. :grouphug: Edited February 28, 2011 by Kristine out of lurking Because the more I write, the more I sound like a complete idiot! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simka2 Posted February 27, 2011 Share Posted February 27, 2011 Grab a book, plan your menu, go to the park or the dreaded play place!!! ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Girls' Mom Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 My most often repeated line to my kids: It's not my job to entertain you. I'm not a good player either. I can teach, craft, spend time with, talk to, exercise with them, etc. But to play...not usually gonna happen anymore. (Unless I can talk them into a board game :) ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myfatherslily Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 Well, *I* am always going to take the time to play with my children. I wish MY mom (who homeschooled) played with ME. Besides, playing is fun! That's what I used to say;) Then I had kids. And now I understand:) I definitely agree with what everyone else here said! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyfaithe Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 I think kids have to learn how to amuse themselves. I just put in hours teaching and guiding, they can put in a few playing without me :D Fwiw, I'm no good at playing. The kids know that :p They know that while Mom might stress herself out playing pirates for an afternoon, it's going to take me at least two weeks to recover... Oh, and I don't free play. I always have a plan. I was that kid. yep....I do not play.... Faithe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angela in ohio Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 Well, *I* am always going to take the time to play with my children. I wish MY mom (who homeschooled) played with ME. Besides, playing is fun! That's what I used to say;) Then I had kids. And now I understand:) I definitely agree with what everyone else here said! Hee, hee. You had me there for a minute. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samiam Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 OMG, I am so glad to read that I am not the only one! I remember playing with DS #1 ALOT more then I do with my other children. But: 1. He was an only child then, our first. 2. I worked full time and he was at daycare, and then K5 full time. 3. We only had a few hours each evening and weekends to be together. .....now I realize that my constant playing with him may be the reason he has very little imagination of his own or can entertain himself. After more children came along, we are homeschooling etc....I have a lot to do each day. I spend a good bit of day educating my children on one level or another.....interacting with them doing all sorts of things.....they need to play by themselves for a while. DS8 and DS4 are really good about this...it is amazing to me. I play if they ask me to, cuz I don't want to be the one that says "No, I am not playing with you"...but I dread it!! Thankfully, they don't ask much! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kwickimom Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 I was just giving myslef a guilt trip about this! I am so glad to know I am not the only one. I do try and play a game with them at night most nights, but thats all I can muster. They want me 24/7 and thats not possible. I do a bunch of things with them on the weekends. I think that with hs'ing we are doing PLENTY of things with them! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 I'm lucky to have twins, so mine don't pester me to play with them very often. But I also think it's good for kids to learn to amuse themselves. That's a life skill. No "here we are now, entertain us..." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 I have my "to-do list" that consumes me, or I just need a break. This is what husbands are for. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teachmejoy Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 I really don't enjoy playing with my children for more than the bare minimum of time (way less than 30 mins!) I enjoy reading to them, doing school, having them help me, go for walks, talk to them, etc. but not "play." :) :iagree: I have no energy to "play" when we're done with school. I think just having that quality time during the day is very important, but it's hard to play! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tabrett Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 We're supposed to play with out dc????:smilielol5::leaving: Ummm.......I don't do that. So you are way ahead of me! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KrissiK Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 :001_smile: I read to them, I included them in what I was doing, and I talked to them all day about our life and surroundings. That was plenty. This is pretty much what I do. And including them in what I'm doing sometimes doesn't even happen. I am an introvert and after spending all morning with them.... I am exhausted. Completely. But, I figure, we live together. We talk together, we eat lunch together, we are together. I don't have to play with them. Besides, I don't even really like little kids. KWIM? I love my children, but... I don't really like doing what they like doing. So, I try to give them attention in other ways. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kchara Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 I have 6 kids. If they want to play, they have plenty of playmates, and I'm not one of them. Daddy is when he comes home. I provide the knowledge, he provides the fun. I provide games, toys, and ideas that will not undo all of the hard work I just put into their schooling, but I am so not a "fun" person. Luckily, my husband is. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mimm Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 Play with my kids? Isn't that why they have each other? ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jujsky Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 Ok, I have a secret to tell you.... I am not the world's best mom. After I have worked on homeschooling my son, I am not in the mood to play with him. I have my "to-do list" that consumes me, or I just need a break. On a good day I spend 30-60 minutes playing with him. Yes, that is a good day. Am I the only one? Any advice from fellow mommas out there? :o Unless schlepping the kids to activities counts as "playing with them," I'm a lousy mother too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MorganClassicalPrep Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 DD is an only child, and I don't often play with her. She is expected to entertain herself. I can't juggle both of our educations and taking care of the house plus play with her. We do interact all day, as she will usually be playing in whatever room I'm in, and she is constantly talking to me and asking me questions. Occasionally I'll actually get down on the floor and "play" with her. (Oh, and we are starting to play board games pretty often now that she's old enough to play good ones... :tongue_smilie:) We all need a little bit of time to wind down. I don't think it is being a bad mom to expect your children to play on their own for a while. (Or even for most of the time!!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KidsHappen Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 I don't play with my children. I checked my contract and that is not part of my job. I gave them lots of siblings and a vivid imagination. It is their jobs to entertain themselves. It's my job to make sure they don't do it on the roof. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnitaMcC Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 I think kids have to learn how to amuse themselves. I just put in hours teaching and guiding, they can put in a few playing without me :D Fwiw, I'm no good at playing. The kids know that :p They know that while Mom might stress herself out playing pirates for an afternoon, it's going to take me at least two weeks to recover... Oh, and I don't free play. I always have a plan. I was that kid. I don't even think I know how to play!!!!! The most we do is playing a few hands of cards once a week. All that my youngest two boys want to do is video games. If they aren't playing the video games, they are imitating them or saying how bored they are when they aren't playing them. They usually will play together that is peaceful for about 10 minutes. Then they start arguing and getting mad at each other. My relief is when I kick them outside when they can ride bikes, etc (that is the only time they are happy when not playing video games). Dd play is music and Kung Fu. Metal music is just not my thing, and I am not fast enough to dodge her axe kicks, etc. Ds#1, isn't into playing anything... he will converse all you want to hear about black holes, crashing galaxies, exploding toilets, and the latest computer program he wrote. Totally all over my head!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnitaMcC Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 I don't play with my children. I checked my contract and that is not part of my job. I gave them lots of siblings and a vivid imagination. It is their jobs to entertain themselves. It's my job to make sure they don't do it on the roof. ;) :iagree::iagree: Or stopping them from trying to do flips off the ramp made up of everything but solid materials. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 It is their jobs to entertain themselves. It's my job to make sure they don't do it on the roof. ;) Ha! That! I'm ok with the top of the clothesline though. Mums are supposed to play? I thought that's what dads were for. I wouldn't want to encroach on his territory :001_huh: How would a man feel valued and needed if his missus did all the roll-on-the-bed tickling? I'm a geek. Totschool is my idea of playing. Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lionfamily1999 Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 Well, *I* am always going to take the time to play with my children. I wish MY mom (who homeschooled) played with ME. Besides, playing is fun! That's what I used to say;) Then I had kids. And now I understand:) I definitely agree with what everyone else here said! Hee, hee. You had me there for a minute. :D Me too :p I don't even think I know how to play!!!!! The most we do is playing a few hands of cards once a week. All that my youngest two boys want to do is video games. If they aren't playing the video games, they are imitating them or saying how bored they are when they aren't playing them. They usually will play together that is peaceful for about 10 minutes. Then they start arguing and getting mad at each other. My relief is when I kick them outside when they can ride bikes, etc (that is the only time they are happy when not playing video games). Dd play is music and Kung Fu. Metal music is just not my thing, and I am not fast enough to dodge her axe kicks, etc. Ds#1, isn't into playing anything... he will converse all you want to hear about black holes, crashing galaxies, exploding toilets, and the latest computer program he wrote. Totally all over my head!!! Oh, we play Dominoes :D Luke can play that (and he gets REALLY into it). Occasionally we'll play video games together and sometimes the boys will "jam" with dh and I are our more musical evenings. The boys argue, regardless of where they are, but thankfully they can have periods of play that are fine... as long as dh and I don't see them. Their fun games tend to make us both feel the need to interrupt... I always remember after I've ruined their fun that they don't like my input.:lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
warriormom Posted March 2, 2011 Author Share Posted March 2, 2011 Wow, thank you ladies. You have eased my mother guilt! I am not the only one who does not want to play with their kids after hs :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lisamarie Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 I really don't enjoy playing with my children for more than the bare minimum of time (way less than 30 mins!) I enjoy reading to them, doing school, having them help me, go for walks, talk to them, etc. but not "play." :) :iagree: I don't free play very well. I will include them in what I am doing, but I rarely get down and play doll house with them. That's DH's job. Plus, I've noticed that by me getting out of the way, my kids create their own games and play. If I tried to play with them, this wouldn't happen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tarreymere Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 Play with them? Entertain them? :lol::lol: :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NanceXToo Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 I hardly ever "play." we do play board games together now and then. I read to them. I talk to them. I do school with them. I sometimes do crafts with them. I take them on fun outings and to various activities. I involve them in household things. I joke around with them. I cuddle with them. But play? Not so much. They play on their own, with each other, or with cousins and friends. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 Give up your guilt. My dd are happy and intelligent, and we have an incredible relationship, and I didn't play with them past their toddlerhood. :001_smile: I read to them, I included them in what I was doing, and I talked to them all day about our life and surroundings. That was plenty. This Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarawatsonim Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 I sometimes wonder if I played more with my dd6 if it would cut down on the mess.:glare: It seems to me every time I walk into a room she has just been playing in (regardless if I just cleaned it) she has either moved some of the furniture around and redecorated or has the largest barbie/littlest petshops/polly pocket village you have ever seen with lego and block skyscrapers.:001_huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kilo90 Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 I, too, have felt that I should be spending more non-school time interacting with my kiddos. For a few weeks now, we have been playing a game together after supper/before bedtime and it has been great. The time between the end of school and supper is mine to accomplish household things and now I don't feel the silly mommy-guilt. I know we'll play a bit before bed. Gloria Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TravelingChris Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 i hardly ever played with my kids beyond very early childhood. I did play some board games occasionally or maybe a card game or two. But just playing=no. They didn't seem to think that they were missing anything since I don't think anyone else's mom played with them either. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenL Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 I hardly ever "play." we do play board games together now and then. I read to them. I talk to them. I do school with them. I sometimes do crafts with them. I take them on fun outings and to various activities. I involve them in household things. I joke around with them. I cuddle with them. But play? Not so much. They play on their own, with each other, or with cousins and friends. :iagree: Exactly! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kerrie in VA Posted March 3, 2011 Share Posted March 3, 2011 I have three boys. I always thought I'd be the kind of mom to join them in soccer or toss the ball until the neighborhood kids get home but I don't have that fast energy. I get up at 5:30 in the morning to run w/ my oldest ever since he was five (and I'm not such a morning person & was more of a fast walker but it has turned into a good bonding time for us!). They like joining me in the kitchen to bake or make pasta. We do tea w/ favorite poetry readings twice a week and read alouds. Lately they have really enjoyed playing Rummy and other card games. I'm hoping they will want to continue some of this routine as they become teenagers to keep the communication open between us. I worry about those teenage years b/c my husband works long hours and is not often present. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nestof3 Posted March 3, 2011 Share Posted March 3, 2011 I am not big on playing either. But, this morning, Ben said, "Today, can you do something with me that isn't reading or school? You never do anything with me." My boys play together a lot, but Nathan is perfectly happy being alone (he's much like I am). Ben's more social. When it's nice out, he plays with the other kids on the street. But, I admit, I felt bad for him today. By the time I do everything I have to do, I am tired and tired of being around people. I love homeschooling. I am so very passionate about it. I try to make it enjoyable, I read with enthusiasm, and I truly love learning with my boys. I snuggle them a lot, I listen to them a lot, I act silly with them, I take them places, but I just don't really like sitting down and playing a game. Ben and I have played some on my iphone together, but seriously, the kid sounded deprived today. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted March 3, 2011 Share Posted March 3, 2011 I'm not much one for pretend play past the toddler years of making believe a banana is a phone. ;) I enjoy making playdough, reading, singing songs, dancing around the kitchen, blowing bubbles, tracing shadows in the sun, going for walks, going to the beach, digging in sand, looking for shells & crabs, playing hangman...that sort of thing...but I don't think I am any good at pretend play! I am terrible, in fact! I don't mind pretending certain things with small children...they make me some playdough cookies and I pretend to eat them etc., but as far as making animals talk and the like? Terrible! Horrible! I try not to get involved in the magical world of childhood that way. It's not my place and I do not feel comfortable intruding there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted March 3, 2011 Share Posted March 3, 2011 What? who said I was supposed to play with them after I just spent 4-6 hours teaching them? No way and you can't make me. They can go play by themselves thankyouverymuch. That's what their imagination is for and the great outdoors, too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GWOB Posted March 3, 2011 Share Posted March 3, 2011 I just don't play very well with my kids either. I felt awful about it when my kids were in school. They would come home and want to play with me. I would interact with them, read to them, and play certain board games with them, but imaginative play was/is my weak point. Honestly, I felt my relationship with them improved when we started homeschooling. I am a teaching mom. That is just the type of parent that I am. I am in my parental element while homeschooling. I'm not creative. I was an only child for 10 1/2 years. I don't know how to play with kids, but I can teach them. It took me a long time to be ok with that. I have three kids. They can play with each other and create wonderful imaginary worlds. I gave them siblings because I knew my weakness. I'm cool with that. If that makes me a bad parent, just add that to my list of faults. I am one woman. I cannot do everything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted March 3, 2011 Share Posted March 3, 2011 This is why I had several children, so they can amuse each other.:D I won't try to estimate time in play, but I spend much less time playing with my kids than you do.;) They do, however, play with each other and have a glorious time...and I taught them all how to fry eggs this morning. Does that count?:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abigail4476 Posted March 3, 2011 Share Posted March 3, 2011 This is what husbands are for. :iagree: My husband does all the running, jumping, wrestling, loud, silly stuff. I do the quiet things, like read them a book before bed. It all balances out. And occasionally I chase them through the house threatening to tickle them, but NOT right after a long day of music and schoolwork. :tongue_smilie: Oh, and even I enjoy the occasional Nerf war. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tidbits of Learning Posted March 3, 2011 Share Posted March 3, 2011 Ok, I have a secret to tell you.... I am not the world's best mom. After I have worked on homeschooling my son, I am not in the mood to play with him. I have my "to-do list" that consumes me, or I just need a break. On a good day I spend 30-60 minutes playing with him. Yes, that is a good day. Am I the only one? Any advice from fellow mommas out there? :o After we homeschool, I need a break. I have dishes and laundry and other super fun mom things to do. My kids go outside and play with other kids in the neighborhood. My suggestion would be to go looking for kids to play with after your done with school. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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