Trivium Academy Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 I will need to start working full-time, although my schedule will be varied and not consistent. Working 7-3 one day, 4-10 the next... Given the circumstances, would you approach the local homeschool group to see if there is a family that would adopt dd8 into their homeschool during the time I'm working? She would have her own work to do, I'd assign it to her. I don't think I want to make another person responsible for her schoolwork. I have a few trust issues. Would you do this? Would you offer to pay or just tell the circumstances of the situation to the homeschool group's Yahoo group acct and see who responds? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lmrich Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 Yes! I have students at my house in that exact situation. I would offer to pay or to barter for this, otherwise the people may not be reliable. I look at this like it is my job and do not schedule appointments for that time frame. On the plus side, my kids have a blast at recess time when there are more kids here, discussion are livelier, and even when one of the kids is a meany I can help my kids learning coping skills and learn how to stand up for herself. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TraceyS/FL Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 I would happily accept a student under those conditions. I would offer to pay..... :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
klmama Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 If you do this, I would definitely ask for personal references, and I would interview all who responded. Definitely offer to pay, or barter some skill of yours. It makes it a business arrangement, rather than a favor, which will likely make the lady do a better job. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 I might do it, if the philosophies of the teacher agreed with mine. I might also think of public school as an option for the rest of the year, but that would be hard, because dd8 wouldn't really see you for those days you have the 4-10 schedule. What are you going to do in the summer? Not to put more on your decision plate! But it might be wise to choose someone who can watch your children in the summer, too, so there's not as much transition. In any case, I'd offer to pay the going rate for babysitting, plus a little more, since it's inevitable that some part of the assignments will require a little explaining/teaching. Would it only be for the days you work 4-10? And, extra hugs for you. I know this isn't easy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trivium Academy Posted February 13, 2009 Author Share Posted February 13, 2009 It'd only be the days I work during the morning like 7-3. Hopefully I'd only have 2 days like during Mon-Fri. I don't make much money, isn't the babysitting rate like $10/hr per child? I don't even make that! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snickelfritz Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 I worked part-time one year and traded babysitting with another mom who worked part-time. It has it's challenges, but it sure was nice to keep my whole paycheck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hillary in KS Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 Who would be taking care of your dc during those hours if you didn't farm them out? If you're asking people to babysit your dd (Is your ds at day care during that entire time?), I would *definitely* offer to pay them. Having another child at your home during school hours adds more stress to the day, even if that child is a sweet, wonderful child. It's still another body to feed, assist, coordinate, and generally be responsible for. If I were in your shoes, and I did not have close friends I knew who would watch my dc those days, I think I would put them in school before I asked people I didn't know to care for them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer in MI Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 I would do this, but I don't know that I'd do it for free unless it was very short term. But I would definately do it for a trade of some sort. Could you offer to help clean her house? Or freeze a couple meals a week for the other family? Do you teach piano? Those are the trades I'd be most interested in! Good luck. ((Jessica)) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HRAAB Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 Yes, I would. In fact, my friend did this for another mother in our homeschool group who needed to go back to work full-time due to a divorce. Her girls came with their lesson plans and books. My friend didn't actually do any teaching, but was their to help and watch them. I think the girls were around 13 and 11. The mother did pay my friend for this. Janet Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TraceyS/FL Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 It'd only be the days I work during the morning like 7-3. Hopefully I'd only have 2 days like during Mon-Fri. I don't make much money, isn't the babysitting rate like $10/hr per child? I don't even make that! I have been pondering what i'd charge for daily child "care", and i think i'd be $20-25/day. Our school district is pondering going to a 4 day school week and i'm hoping to be able to use that support myself. But that is what i'd offer, probably $25 since i'm guessing it's going to vary from week to week what day it is on. That migh be a problem for some people and their schedules. The overall increase in your wages should hopefully offset the chunk the care will cost you. Spreadsheet time! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovedtodeath Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 I would do it. I would much rather have DD in with another homeschooling family than at PS, especially if my schedule changed and I could have more time with her. Do pay. $90-$100 a week for full-time care is the rate around here. If someone is all fine without pay at first, they will come to resent it. Trust me, I was the one doing the baby-sitting. Trading for housecleaning and/or curriculum sharing would be great. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chiguirre Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 If you can find a hs family to do this at an affordable rate, I'd go that route. If not, could you trade shifts to consistently work 4-10. If that's not possible at your current job, could you look for another? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GreenKitty Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 I would try to find another hs family as well, and offer to pay. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 but just one day a week. I'm gone until 1 two days a week and my dd is older. One of those days dd's French teacher comes to the house for a bit of time. Then dd is home alone. The other day dd goes to a friend's house who also homeschools. Dd takes all her assignments. dd's friend has some LDs, so it is understood that dd may be assigned to play with her friends little sisters so that her mom can do extra work one on one with her friend (something the mom doesn't get to do. OR dd and and her friend may work together on assignments--the mom has noted when they do this her daughter gets more work done, her dd is more motivated. IN EXCHANGE, I do science experiments with the girls one afternoon a week. A LOT of experiments. I have a strong science background. A couple of times I have taken the girls on a field trip, which the other mom also hasn't been able to do. Does your dd have a best friend in your homeschool group? Does your dd work well independently and is she responsible? Obviously, these traits will make it easier for someone to help you. I did offer to pay, but I left it vague, because paying regular babysitting rates would really cut into my pay. The other mom is happy with whatever my dd adds to her home and the science, so I'm blessed. At the same time, you are talking about more hours, more days a week. So, consider what home daycare rates are in your area--they will be lower than the $10/hour rate for drop off babysitting. And see if you can come up with an offer that is a combination of pay and barter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Erica in PA Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 I will need to start working full-time, although my schedule will be varied and not consistent. Working 7-3 one day, 4-10 the next... Given the circumstances, would you approach the local homeschool group to see if there is a family that would adopt dd8 into their homeschool during the time I'm working? She would have her own work to do, I'd assign it to her. I don't think I want to make another person responsible for her schoolwork. I have a few trust issues. Would you do this? Would you offer to pay or just tell the circumstances of the situation to the homeschool group's Yahoo group acct and see who responds? I think you would need to pay someone to watch your dd, unless it is a close friend or family member, which it doesn't sound like you have around right now. And since you said you're not making much money anyway... I probably would put my dd in school. I would try every other option first though, including possibly reconsidering the job itself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WTMindy Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 Jessica, I know you are in a difficult spot, but since you asked, I would not feel good about giving my kids work to do and dropping them off at someone else's house (let alone someone who I don't really know.) First of all, the things that you do with your daughter aren't things that you can give to her to do on her own. And, I wouldn't feel comfortable asking someone else to do my curriculum. I would actually (for me) rather put her in school for a time and go back to homeschooling when it works better for our family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G5052 Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 I have two families who have offered to take in mine if I need to work more for no charge that I would trust, but that's based on years of friendship and very similar goals and priorities. Some have offered that I would never even consider in that situation. The family dynamics, boundaries, and level of oversight are such that I would be very uncomfortable dropping off my children. When my children were younger, I had to leave them with others quite a bit with DH's medical issues, and we had some real disappointments in terms of things they were exposed to that we wouldn't choose, bullying, lack of oversight of their schooling, etc. Thankfully they're old enough now that we usually take them along or have people we truly know and trust oversee them, and we're almost to the point that I could leave them for short periods. It's a very delicate situation -- you want someone who will oversee your child academically and socially as you would. And you're going to have the logisitics problems if they're away or ill. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudoMom Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 Jessica, I know you are in a difficult spot, but since you asked, I would not feel good about giving my kids work to do and dropping them off at someone else's house (let alone someone who I don't really know.) First of all, the things that you do with your daughter aren't things that you can give to her to do on her own. And, I wouldn't feel comfortable asking someone else to do my curriculum. I would actually (for me) rather put her in school for a time and go back to homeschooling when it works better for our family. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovedtodeath Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 (edited) I would do it for $90 a week. I do not see how putting her in PS would be less of a risk. I think that putting her in a small daycare type setting is preferable. Lots of people send their kids to an in-home daycare off of a couple of interviews! Edited February 13, 2009 by Lovedtodeath Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 Jessica, I know you are in a difficult spot, but since you asked, I would not feel good about giving my kids work to do and dropping them off at someone else's house (let alone someone who I don't really know.) First of all, the things that you do with your daughter aren't things that you can give to her to do on her own. And, I wouldn't feel comfortable asking someone else to do my curriculum. I would actually (for me) rather put her in school for a time and go back to homeschooling when it works better for our family. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emmy Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 If I had a really good friend that I could ask then yes, I would try it for 1-2 days a week at most. But no I wouldn't do it if I were just sending out a message to homeschooling families in the area and trying to find someone - I wouldn't be comfortable with that at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chaik76 Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 I have a friend who does something similar...her children go to a small family daycare during the day while she works. They take some of their schoolwork with them, and do some of their schoolwork at night and on the weekends. Not everyone will charge "the going rate". My mother does something similar to what you are suggesting and she charges only $100/mo...she basically just wants to be able to cover their meals and a little extra. Good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
usetoschool Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 I am on the receiving end of kids right now. One pays me (yes $10/hour), two that have little extra cash provide services or stuff in trade when they can. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tess in the Burbs Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 And here's why. I don't think it's fair to give your child to someone else unless you are paying them. even if they already hs it doesn't mean their day will be a good fit for your child. it adds another person to the bunch and might affect their day. And thinking that leaving a child with someone to do school work isn't babysitting, it is. And what is the law in your state about that? Some states have laws that don't let you just give the kid to someone else to school. I get you need to work to change your life in the future...but what about next fall? will you be working less? What about in a year? Will you be home all day to school then? It seems to me if you are making the choice to work full time AND do college that you may have to give up homeschooling since you aren't going to be home in the day to do it. Is there any kind of private school in your area based on the college model? we have one that lets kids go to school a few days and are home a few days. would your schedule be consistent enough for that? I don't mean to be so blunt but you are choosing to make these changes and leaving your child with someone else a few days a week isn't homeschooling.....you were always so involved in your dd's learning that I can't imagine you just handing her a stack of work to do alone at another person's house??!!??!?? You also have to consider that no matter WHO you chose to leave her with....you don't know what they are truly like with their family when no one is looking....we all have bad days and why would you want to put your daughter in the middle of another family's way of life...perhaps being a trigger of the stress? It seems if you are still passionate about hs'ing then put her in public school and do afterschooling if you aren't working those days. Or at least pay someone full time to watch your dd when you are working. You sure have no recourse with a volunteer. you would be choosing to leave her with someone for free. At least pay someone who you did a background check on and is someone you completely trust to care for your daughter full time. You are on a rough road right now but I hope you find what you are looking for and can do everything you want to in your personal life as well as your childrens. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelli in TN Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 I have known someone who has done this. Actually I knew both families in this situation. The child who was being cared for 2 days per week by another homeschool family because the mom needed to work for the insurance as the dad's job did not include benefits. It was a very stable situation in which the work schedule was pretty much set in stone. It was a long term situation. This was not a crisis or emergency. The child did not take his own schoolwork but rather joined in on what the family was doing for the day. Both families had known each other for years before this arrangement was made. The family who cared for the child stayed home those two days. The mom was a very experienced homeschool mom of seven who had a very laid back attitude about kids. (I don't mean laid back like lazy, I mean laid back like "hey, what's one more kid?") It worked beautifully. I know this because the whole time this arrangement was going on I was babysitting the family's preschooler! But honestly, if I were in your situation I would not do this. If I were scheduling a divorce, trying to go to college (weren't you trying to go to college? Or am I mixing you up with someone else?), working full time, and trying to pay down debt, I would put her in school for a year or two. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*anj* Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 I think that what you're asking for is the equivalent of babysitting. And no matter how well behaved your daughter is, her presence will create at least a temporary disruption to the other family's homeschool. So yes, I absolutely think that payment would be in order. I'd also add that though your intention is to send her with schoolwork, she's only a child and will likely need help on some things. But the biggest issue for me would be sending my child off to spend her days in the home of a stranger. Is this your only choice? Can't she just sit in her father's office while he works? Is his office at home or at the church? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sharon in SC Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 I think that what you're asking for is the equivalent of babysitting. And no matter how well behaved your daughter is, her presence will create at least a temporary disruption to the other family's homeschool. So yes, I absolutely think that payment would be in order. I'd also add that though your intention is to send her with schoolwork, she's only a child and will likely need help on some things. But the biggest issue for me would be sending my child off to spend her days in the home of a stranger. Is this your only choice? Can't she just sit in her father's office while he works? Is his office at home or at the church? :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Avila Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 No, I personally wouldn't. But I am seeing this from the side of the person doing the child care. I taught preschool and did in home daycare, and I can tell you that from that end, it is a difficult thing to manage what you want for your own kids, and what your standards are, with what someone else is expecting sometimes, and that is without the school issue coming up. I know I didn't understand this side of it when I had to send my oldest DD to a babysitter when she was little. I definitely wouldn't take this on lightly, and I would expect more than the going rate for daycare, especially if I had to follow someone else's schedule and/or curriculum choices. This is a huge thing to turn over to someone else and to expect it to be done well. I wish you the very best, and I will be praying for you as you make this very difficult choice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melissel Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 I would do it in a heartbeat, as long as I could find the right family and they were willing to spend some time with all of us getting to know each other. Many people here give their kids at least some level of independent work to do, don't they? I mean, Jessica's DD is an advanced 8-year-old, isn't she? I think that's plenty old enough to be able to work independently on some things, with an adult nearby for guidance, isn't it? I'm not really sure how this is different from finding a family daycare for her instead, and I also don't see how it's not better than public school. (Not that I think I have anything against a decent PS, I just don't see how one is better or worse without having at least having tried either option). Frankly, that's the sort of schedule I work. I'm lucky enough to have my mom here to care for the kids, but before we worked this out, I was investigating something similar for the girls, and there were several HSing families who do this sort of thing (unfortunately, none close enough, because I still wouldn't mind a little extra help). Jessica, I wouldn't set my heart on it, but I'd investigate it and be open to it either working out nicely, or not working out at all and having to use the PS as a stopgap for now. I do also think I'd be fully prepared to pay for it, for the reasons mentioned here, though you may find that you won't pay as much in such a situation as you would for a typical daycare or babysitter. Is this your only choice? Can't she just sit in her father's office while he works? Is his office at home or at the church? I would not do this. (Sorry Anj!) As someone who works from home and who tried for years to accomplish this very thing, it only breeds frustration and resentment, and I don't think it's good for the child. Kids are kids and need attention, and it's nearly impossible to do your paid job well while also caring for your child well at the same time. I think she'd be better off in a school or daycare situation than having to sit quietly for hours at a time in her father's office (and I say this hanging my own head at how long it took me to learn this lesson, trust me :() Anyway, that's my .02. Jessica, if you lived nearby, I'd have Camille here with us whenever you needed it. I hope you can find a solution that works for all of you. Stay strong, OK? :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newlifemom Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 I pm'd you. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michelle My Bell Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 I did do this several years ago for a lady who would bring her daughter over 1 or 2 times a week. She paid me around $20 I think per day. It worked out really well for me. It gave my oldest daughter a friend to play with, it gave me a little extra spending cash at a time when I really needed it and it gave this family companions for her daughter who was an only child. We don't babysit her anymore (She is 15 now) but she is my oldest daughters BEST FRIEND and I feel like her mother is one of my best friends, so it was a really good situation that just got better! Michelle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
5sweeties Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 No, I wouldn't do it. Mostly because I would never trust anyone to give my dc an environment that I felt was appropriate for schooling. I would rather have them in public school, under known and monitored conditions. Even my friends that homeschool, have a vastly different idea of how a day should go, than I do. Further off my target than the public school system tends to be. However, our public school system here is excellent, and my children have actually chosen to go back, to be with friends, after 3 years of homeschooling, next fall. So, take that with a grain of salt. It so much depends on your specific circumstances, who would be doing the tending, what materials you use for homeschooling, why you homeschool, what the ps's are like, etc, etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FriedClams Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 (edited) I would not. I think that one of the most important things for kids - and especially what your kids will be going through in the next year - would be stability. I have not been through what you are going through - but I would assume that the kids having the same schedule, with the same predictability nearly every day would be very comforting. Lots around them is changing - and kids get that even when they can't communicate it. The same teacher, friends, school, bus, routine - I think that would be a good thing. Homeschooling is great in that we don't have the routine - but I think having the family unit together all the time makes balances that out. I can change the schedule around, travel, do whatever with my kids and they are unaffected - but that's because of the common denominator of us being together every single day. I don't think a sitter family can substitute that. Inevitably you'll have sick kids in the other family, they'll travel when you don't, etc. that can be a big issue for you and work/school. Also, school is not evil - and while often homeschooling is the best option for our kids - sometimes it's not (even for a season). Yes, there may be more training for some things - but there may not be. If I were in your shoes I would put the kids in school and schedule my work/school/everything for those hours as much as humanly possible. Assuming you'll have regular visitation schedule - I would factor that in and work like a dog on those nights/weekends (school or more hours at work). I would do everything I could to keep things routine and maximize every available moment with the kids for bonding, mom time and memory making. You are a great mom who clearly cares about your kids and their needs - I'll be praying that you can find the answer to the "what's best for the kids" question. Edited February 13, 2009 by Kayaking Mom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KJB Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 and had lots of early enthusiasm for your new home school adventure. In many of your early posts, you were so excited it was infectious. You had great ideas and grand plans. You executed many of those plans and your website is known through out the internet as a mecca of home school info. Your planning has seemed detailed and your thoughtful decisions about curriculum have always been impressive. It's been fun to get glimpses about how your school has developed. Jessica, I don't know you in person, but from your history here, I'd say you are a THROW. MYSELF. IN. IT. kind of gal. You are a 110% girl. You don't just want the debt paid off, but you want them to owe YOU money. You don't just want to go to college, but you want to teach them a thing or two. (OK, got carried away....) But, I am trying to light heartedly illustrate that my impression is that you are ready to take on the challenges of this new life you're crafting in a BIG way. The trouble is, imo, the things you are trying to tackle are full time jobs all by themselves. Home schooling, being a university student, full time employment, and the general Mom stuff along with relationship rocky road all at once is enough to kill a person. Even an overachiever. Especially an overachiever. I think you need to reevaluate what is really important to you. Don't think everything can sit on the same top priority shelf. Something will end up knocked off even if it's not intentional.... You can have it all, just not all at once. You have my prayers and good thoughts. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 I think this is very, very wise, and kindly put. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SonshineLearner Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 I did look for a homeschooler to take care of my child before I was married....while i was at work. I would have continued to have her there for school, but became married before she was school age. I think you talk with the person, whatever they use that you can deal with...just do it their way until you can get back to homeschooling. This way they'll be comfortable with schooling your daughter. If you go to PS you lose all choice in how they're schooled. Do everything like a business. The more you like them...the more clear you should be in the contract. AND, unlike the people I know who do this...pay them on time like you care. And, give them some compliments.:-) Carrie:-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elaine Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 (edited) . Edited February 14, 2009 by Elaine Seemed snarky, but I didn't mean for it to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sharon in SC Posted February 14, 2009 Share Posted February 14, 2009 and had lots of early enthusiasm for your new home school adventure. In many of your early posts, you were so excited it was infectious. You had great ideas and grand plans. You executed many of those plans and your website is known through out the internet as a mecca of home school info. Your planning has seemed detailed and your thoughtful decisions about curriculum have always been impressive. It's been fun to get glimpses about how your school has developed. Jessica, I don't know you in person, but from your history here, I'd say you are a THROW. MYSELF. IN. IT. kind of gal. You are a 110% girl. You don't just want the debt paid off, but you want them to owe YOU money. You don't just want to go to college, but you want to teach them a thing or two. (OK, got carried away....) But, I am trying to light heartedly illustrate that my impression is that you are ready to take on the challenges of this new life you're crafting in a BIG way. The trouble is, imo, the things you are trying to tackle are full time jobs all by themselves. Home schooling, being a university student, full time employment, and the general Mom stuff along with relationship rocky road all at once is enough to kill a person. Even an overachiever. Especially an overachiever. I think you need to reevaluate what is really important to you. Don't think everything can sit on the same top priority shelf. Something will end up knocked off even if it's not intentional.... You can have it all, just not all at once. You have my prayers and good thoughts. :grouphug: I believe these are true words of wisdom. Jessica, I trust the Lord who created you with all of the wonderful character traits you possess to guide you and direct you, counsel you and watch over you, instruct you and show you the way that you're to go. Whether you turn to the right or the left, you will hear His still small voice behind you saying, "This is the way, walk ye in it." His word tells us that His sheep know his voice and the voice of another they will not follow. Because all of these things are so very true, I would encourage you to take some time, soon, to step away and wait, silently, for Him to speak. He will speak the very things you desire to hear - direction that will leave you and those you love walking in the center of His perfect will for your lives! :grouphug:, Jessica! Blessings upon blessings to you during this time of change.....Sharon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted February 14, 2009 Share Posted February 14, 2009 do it knowing that you must give up some control, and you must truly respect and demonstrate your respect for this other woman throughout your relationship with her. I think that it is really hard for homeschoolers to give up any control at all, and that it would be easy to be tempted to treat someone like this as an employee rather than as an expert, and that that just flat out will not work. I'm kind of neutral on the decision itself, though. I can imagine it working out great with some families and horribly with others. Certainly you'd have to really know what you're getting into, and I would not even consider it with a family that I didn't know and spend time with already. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daisy Posted February 14, 2009 Share Posted February 14, 2009 Nope. IF my life was in as much upheaval as yours, I would send my children to ps. At least they'd have the opportunity to develop friendships, have consistency & routine, etc. No way would I ask another homeschool Mom to educate my children. Just my two cents. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Erica in PA Posted February 14, 2009 Share Posted February 14, 2009 and had lots of early enthusiasm for your new home school adventure. In many of your early posts, you were so excited it was infectious. You had great ideas and grand plans. You executed many of those plans and your website is known through out the internet as a mecca of home school info. Your planning has seemed detailed and your thoughtful decisions about curriculum have always been impressive. It's been fun to get glimpses about how your school has developed. Jessica, I don't know you in person, but from your history here, I'd say you are a THROW. MYSELF. IN. IT. kind of gal. You are a 110% girl. You don't just want the debt paid off, but you want them to owe YOU money. You don't just want to go to college, but you want to teach them a thing or two. (OK, got carried away....) But, I am trying to light heartedly illustrate that my impression is that you are ready to take on the challenges of this new life you're crafting in a BIG way. The trouble is, imo, the things you are trying to tackle are full time jobs all by themselves. Home schooling, being a university student, full time employment, and the general Mom stuff along with relationship rocky road all at once is enough to kill a person. Even an overachiever. Especially an overachiever. I think you need to reevaluate what is really important to you. Don't think everything can sit on the same top priority shelf. Something will end up knocked off even if it's not intentional.... You can have it all, just not all at once. You have my prayers and good thoughts. :grouphug: I totally agree with this. I have been trying to figure out a good way to express those sentiments for quite a while. I hope you will give this some heartfelt consideration, Jessica. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vida Winter Posted February 14, 2009 Share Posted February 14, 2009 No, I don't think I would. I'd probably use PS and afterschool a bit during this time. Later on when you can handle it you could homeschool again. I would not feel comfortable dropping a child off like that unless it were a close friend's family. Dana Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trivium Academy Posted February 14, 2009 Author Share Posted February 14, 2009 After talking with dd's dad, it's been decided. For the time being, she will remain at home but I am talking to the public school about enrollment for next school year. I have been blessed by another homeschooler who has reached out from the homeschool group and offered to help. I know I have to give up a LOT by having dd8 go to school but I will attempt to afterschool her in the subjects she won't get at school, like Latin but both the kids need stability, a schedule and I need to be able to accomplish working full-time and doing my own school. I can do that if both the kids are in school next year, and keep house. It's not permanent. I am a highly motivated, conscientious, goal-oriented person...no doubt, but this has been one of the hardest things I've had to make a decision about. In the end, I know it will be best for the time being and once I have stability in my life (work, personal) then I may possibly be able to bring the kids home and provide them the stability they need for homeschooling. If not, I'll have a TON of curricula to sell and will look at private school options in our area. We do have two Christian Classical private schools in our area that I know about. College will start in May, between now and then I have to study math to score well on the college placement test, I have Life of Fred books coming from the library. Dd8 will be tested in May (GA law), as will ds4 and I have help if I'm working full-time from now until next school year. I can focus on finishing up dd's 3rd grade year in that time. I can only do so much and I'm much more focused on being the best mother I can be instead of being a homeschooler. For me, that's what homeschooling has been about- doing my best for the kids. I can continue to do that while realizing my own limitations. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pam "SFSOM" in TN Posted February 14, 2009 Share Posted February 14, 2009 After talking with dd's dad, it's been decided. ---- I can only do so much and I'm much more focused on being the best mother I can be instead of being a homeschooler. For me, that's what homeschooling has been about- doing my best for the kids. I can continue to do that while realizing my own limitations. I believe that you are being very wise and taking the long view in this regard, Jessica. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted February 14, 2009 Share Posted February 14, 2009 Addressing the OP as well as some issues involved in the thread in general.... Jessica, I would be *exceedingly* careful about making educational setting changes at this time. Honestly, I'd be more careful about using the public school system than I would a creative home based learning setting. I know from personal experience that people who are not well will use *anything* to continue in their un-wellness. Be careful about the legal realities of sending your dd to school at this point. To others, My family has been blessed by assisting with the education of other children. God has brought families into my life, my children's life, my DH's life that add to our school, schedule and relationships. I am honored and blessed. On the other side, I have been able to provide a quality eduation outside of the "box" of public school for families who need an alternative but can't "homeschool" in a traditional way. I got a Valentine note from one of my families of thanks; I've had her girls for 2 years! At this moment, she's taking my oldest and hers to take a real (but for us, practice) SAT test. We work together to address the needs of the kids. For me, I'm sad that "public school" becomes the default option for so many homeschoolers. I'd expect that there would be more openness to alternatives rather than "public school". Quality education is not defined by "public school" or "traditional homeschool". Most homeschoolers I've met are absolutely capable of developing a workable, thriving situation and Jessica even more so. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pam "SFSOM" in TN Posted February 14, 2009 Share Posted February 14, 2009 For me, I'm sad that "public school" becomes the default option for so many homeschoolers. I'd expect that there would be more openness to alternatives rather than "public school". Quality education is not defined by "public school" or "traditional homeschool". Most homeschoolers I've met are absolutely capable of developing a workable, thriving situation and Jessica even more so. Sorry, Joanne. You need not be sad on my account My position on public school is not that it is the default position. Not at all. But I stand firmly by my own opinion that in this instance, public school is not the devil and could be a wise choice for now. I appreciate your opinion (well, of course!) and your perspective. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted February 14, 2009 Share Posted February 14, 2009 Sorry, Joanne. You need not be sad on my account My position on public school is not that it is the default position. Not at all. But I stand firmly by my own opinion that in this instance, public school is not the devil and could be a wise choice for now. I appreciate your opinion (well, of course!) and your perspective. Legally, sending Jessica's dd to school could easily lead to homeschooling being removed as an option from this point on. Xh's who are controlling and abusive use what is important to *hurt* the x spouse. I'm not upset that PS is an option and I don't see it as the devil. I'm upset that is is the default over other creative solutions in which children and families can thrive. I do get upset reading some of the posts in this thread because my life is living, counter opposite from some of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daisy Posted February 14, 2009 Share Posted February 14, 2009 Are we getting chastised for our opinion? Given the circumstances of Jessica's current life, I would send my kids to ps. I'm not feeling bad about saying that. Jessica is plenty bright enough and strong enough to make the decision she feels is best, so I'm not worrying that her decision was based solely upon the opinions of those on this board. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melinda in VT Posted February 14, 2009 Share Posted February 14, 2009 Legally, sending Jessica's dd to school could easily lead to homeschooling being removed as an option from this point on. Xh's who are controlling and abusive use what is important to *hurt* the x spouse. I'm not upset that PS is an option and I don't see it as the devil. I'm upset that is is the default over other creative solutions in which children and families can thrive. I do get upset reading some of the posts in this thread because my life is living, counter opposite from some of it. I could be mixing things up, but I'm pretty sure that Jessica's DD's father is not Jessica's current spouse. I don't remember any of Jessica's posts indicating that DD's dad is controlling or abusive. (On the other hand, certainly the upcoming divorce could have an impact on her options for schooling her son.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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