thatfirstsip Posted February 18, 2023 Share Posted February 18, 2023 So it's not just the last two weeks and this new med, but a pattern (both of dependency and controlling/potentially abusive relationship issues) that have been present for months, and he's being released from the hospital, still on these frankly near-psychosis inducing meds, tomorrow. That's a very different picture. As far as I can tell, you're doing the right things 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lecka Posted February 18, 2023 Share Posted February 18, 2023 These sounds like good steps! I’m so sorry she is in this situation. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KSera Posted February 18, 2023 Share Posted February 18, 2023 Is he being released still on this med combo that is contraindicated and extremely powerful? If it's that crazy of a combo, it doesn't seem like he would be sent home with them or that he would be able to get it filled by an outpatient pharmacy. 2 hours ago, gardenmom5 said: I really hope it wakes him up. I hope he has doctors and family around to help him get off all dangerous medications and support him through withdrawal and that he recovers from his injury and returns to whoever he was before this all happened to him, assuming that was a fairly decent person (I can't say the guns give me any warm fuzzies about him, but I know otherwise nice people who love their *#@$ guns, so...) This has to be awful for your dd and her little ones. Poor kiddos. Hopefully there will be no legal repercussions from all this (unless a doctor or pharmacist committed any wrongdoing worthy of such) and things can get sorted out to a good arrangement. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terabith Posted February 18, 2023 Share Posted February 18, 2023 Is he being released from hospital to back rehab? Or to home? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted February 18, 2023 Author Share Posted February 18, 2023 He's being released to home. On the dangerous cocktail. He's told his drs his pharmacist wife is crazy and not to talk to her. He likely will go home with drugs. The protocol to wean off them takes weeks. He's pushing away every one willingly and able to help him. The friend bringing him home tomorrow expects their friendship to end as soon as he realizes he's on dd's side. I had seen signs of depression last summer. But he's smart, kind, gifted at managing people. He's become a different person. The angle of down slope is increasing. 13 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KSera Posted February 18, 2023 Share Posted February 18, 2023 11 minutes ago, gardenmom5 said: He's being released to home. On the dangerous cocktail. What about contacting the hospital ombudsman? They won't be able to tell her anything about her dh's care, but she should be able to make a report and then they can follow up on if there is a problem there with the medications prescribed. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
livetoread Posted February 18, 2023 Share Posted February 18, 2023 If the guns are communal property, she might be okay in removing them, but I'm assuming since this ruling, no state court can. I don't know the status pending appeal, but the ruling says it is unconstitutional to take guns from people with protective orders against them for domestic violence. https://www.cnn.com/2023/02/02/politics/domestic-violence-guns-fifth-circuit/index.html 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sneezyone Posted February 18, 2023 Share Posted February 18, 2023 Just now, livetoread said: If the guns are communal property, she might be okay in removing them, but I'm assuming since this ruling, no state court can. I don't know the status pending appeal, but the ruling says it is unconstitutional to take guns from people with protective orders against them for domestic violence. https://www.cnn.com/2023/02/02/politics/domestic-violence-guns-fifth-circuit/index.html This, thankfully, applies only to the fifth circuit at this time but that includes TX, LA, and MS. 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted February 18, 2023 Author Share Posted February 18, 2023 1 hour ago, KSera said: What about contacting the hospital ombudsman? They won't be able to tell her anything about her dh's care, but she should be able to make a report and then they can follow up on if there is a problem there with the medications prescribed. Tried going through directors. Didn't go well. They moved him to a room that she isn't allowed to know. I've at least two people to let us know his progress on coming home tomorrow. I absolutely cannot be here. But can go to the neighbor across the street. I don't think he'd care because I'm not in the house. Dd wants to be long gone before he gets here. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saraha Posted February 18, 2023 Share Posted February 18, 2023 I am so sorry 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sneezyone Posted February 18, 2023 Share Posted February 18, 2023 4 minutes ago, gardenmom5 said: Tried going through directors. Didn't go well. They moved him to a room that she isn't allowed to know. I've at least two people to let us know his progress on coming home tomorrow. I absolutely cannot be here. But can go to the neighbor across the street. I don't think he'd care because I'm not in the house. Dd wants to be long gone before he gets here. I feel so awful for your family and hope you can see them safely away. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted February 18, 2023 Author Share Posted February 18, 2023 (edited) I finally had A chance to actually talk to dd. (We've been too busy running different directions. ) The two drugs are NOT suppo⁷sed to be given at the same time because they magnify each other. Even an hour apart reduces the effects. Though it's still considered a no-no in the pharmacy world. The rehab floor started giving them at the same time. It explains how it affected him so quickly and so badly. ETA- he's coming home with a two week supply. His regular dr made him sign a pain contract. It limits what he can get, and he's cut off if he violates it. He will not be able to legally get more of what the surgeon gave him. I hope it's a start in the right direction. Edited February 18, 2023 by gardenmom5 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted February 18, 2023 Author Share Posted February 18, 2023 (edited) Deleted Edited February 18, 2023 by gardenmom5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lmrich Posted February 18, 2023 Share Posted February 18, 2023 Praying for you and your family today. ❤️ 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted February 18, 2023 Author Share Posted February 18, 2023 Thank you for prayers, today especially. We are taking the children and leaving before he comes home. But there is still a lot to do. Spending tonight at a friend's house. 1 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kassia Posted February 18, 2023 Share Posted February 18, 2023 I'm so sorry about all of this. What a terrible and sad situation for everyone. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted February 18, 2023 Share Posted February 18, 2023 best wishes for you and yours-- I hope it goes as smoothly as it can considering the circumstances. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted February 18, 2023 Share Posted February 18, 2023 If it helps give some hope, the medication combination a relative was on after a serious surgery years ago caused paranoia and crazy thoughts/personality change. It was also worse about 2 weeks after the surgery, which seems in line with what you are seeing. I think a lot of it was the lack of good sleep - narcotics can interfere with sleep quality and quantity in some people (make you feel tired, but not actually able to sleep well or at all), and lack of sleep is a known cause of psychosis. At first we just thought it was stress/exhaustion/pain causing personality changes, but then this person started thinking the "doctors were lying to her" and "She was dying and they just wouldn't tell her" and all sorts of other crazy stuff. Not violent, but still a total 180 personality shift and as if an alien had taken over this person's body. As the meds were reduced (we started tapering as soon as realized the issue) the person's normal personality returned. It was not permanent. Now, if the person likes the high, and wants to stay on the meds that is a different issue. I actually do LOVE LOVE LOVE the feeling I get from vicodin. (not oxy or percocet or codeine, just hydrocodone based meds). But I'm careful when I take it, only a single dose a day at bedtime, or maybe twice a day for a day or two if really bad pain, because I know this. If the person is under a ton of stress for other reasons (job/money stress, the injury, etc) that would be harder to resist - and psychiatric meds to help with the anxiety/depression would be needed to help avoid the self medication of anxiety with narcotics. It also sounds like this person may need to go on one of the narcotic treatment medications, like methadone/suboxone/etc. Getting off narcotics is VERY hard, physically, and tends to cause actual pain and depresson and anxiety. 11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted February 18, 2023 Share Posted February 18, 2023 Praying for your family. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pawz4me Posted February 18, 2023 Share Posted February 18, 2023 30 minutes ago, ktgrok said: I think a lot of it was the lack of good sleep - narcotics can interfere with sleep quality and quantity in some people (make you feel tired, but not actually able to sleep well or at all), and lack of sleep is a known cause of psychosis. Being in the ICU, or (probably) even just in the hospital for a length of time can also hugely disrupt sleep. ICU psychosis is widely recognized. Good luck, @gardenmom5. This is a bad situation all around. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted February 18, 2023 Author Share Posted February 18, 2023 (edited) 36 minutes ago, ktgrok said: If it helps give some hope, the medication combination a relative was on after a serious surgery years ago caused paranoia and crazy thoughts/personality change. It was also worse about 2 weeks after the surgery, 2dd is a pharmD. The drugs he's on, especially in this combination, are known to be highly addictive. Dd talked to her hospital pharmD friends to see if theirs used it. None of them, it's considered too dangerous. We hope he'll get off them, she loves her husband, but are preparing for the worst ETA, withdrawal if he doesn't get them is very likely. Edited February 18, 2023 by gardenmom5 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmandaVT Posted February 18, 2023 Share Posted February 18, 2023 (edited) Thinking of you guys today - I hope everything goes smoothly and everyone stays safe. Does he have any idea his house will be empty when he returns? Have he and your DD been talking at all? Wondering if he'll hit the roof? Edited February 18, 2023 by AmandaVT 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Tiggywinkle Again Posted February 18, 2023 Share Posted February 18, 2023 (edited) Deleted, but feel free to PM. Edited February 18, 2023 by Mrs Tiggywinkle Again 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bootsie Posted February 18, 2023 Share Posted February 18, 2023 The situation sounds very complicated, and I am sure it is even more complicated than what the brief information here suggests. Overall, I am not one who would jump to divorce. But, if I had major concerns about immediate safety, I would have the children leave and return with me to my home state if at all financially feasible. This could be done simply as a situation where daughter really needs all of the extra help with 2 babies at this point (not stating that it is leading to divroce) and is coming for a visit. Her husband is probably not in a situation where he can easily travel long distances, so the immediate safety issue would be dealt with. This would allow for some thinking about the situation in the absence of immediate threat and fear. In the meantime, I would be checking with attorneys regarding how long she would need to be in your state to file for divroce in your state if things do come to that and to a attorney in the state where she presently is to see what would happen if he files for divorce while she is out of state, visiting her parents, with the kids. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted February 18, 2023 Share Posted February 18, 2023 1 hour ago, Pawz4me said: Being in the ICU, or (probably) even just in the hospital for a length of time can also hugely disrupt sleep. ICU psychosis is widely recognized. Good luck, @gardenmom5. This is a bad situation all around. Yes, in the zoom classes I've been taking for my mom's lung transplant ICU psychosis and hospital psychosis were brought up and discussed. Also anxiety - often severe - and depression, and that family members need to alert the staff as they may not realize what is happening. And that there are medications that can be adjusted/changed/added to help with this. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KSera Posted February 18, 2023 Share Posted February 18, 2023 @Mrs Tiggywinkle AgainYou may know this, but for the person you mentioned, combining ibuprofen and acetaminophen at the same time has been shown in many studies to provide as much pain relief for acute pain as opioids (and better than opioids for dental pain) without the same risks. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeachGal Posted February 18, 2023 Share Posted February 18, 2023 (edited) I’m just going to throw this out there to consider as an option. Pain can be treated using pemf (pulsed electromagnetic fields) as well. I have used this myself quite a few times for over 10 years. It is great and has no bad side effects. It can be used for severe, chronic pain and is capable of healing the issues causing the pain. For acute pain, I have found a few short sessions do the trick, whereas for more chronic pain, it can take a twice daily session up to two months to kick in. Or it might work in days. Just depends how someone’s body responds. The MD who has been studying and using it for years here in the US is Bill Pawluk. He has a website and is an excellent resource. https://www.drpawluk.com/?s=Back+pain He is friends with the bioengineer who NASA has used to design their pemf devices for astronauts which I believe are used mainly to help maintain muscle, bones, etc. This is his forum where you can ask him any questions, etc. if you’re interested. https://forum.fluxhealth.co/t/m1-setting-for-back-pain/2424 They are both very nice, down to earth guys and if you wanted to try pemf, they can answer your questions. eta: Hope everything goes smoothly for all of you today and in the next few weeks. Edited February 18, 2023 by BeachGal 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted February 18, 2023 Author Share Posted February 18, 2023 Update. We're currently safe. He had someone else bring him home. 10 minutes we would have been gone. He went after the car with a huge shovel. The window needs to be replaced. She took out $10k yesterday. He changed all their passwords. Too much to do in a short time. She did get passports and birth certificates. I have 3 credit cards with me, so I'll be paying for stuff until she gets a new card. She's turned off her phone. We're getting a new one. 46 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faith-manor Posted February 18, 2023 Share Posted February 18, 2023 I am so sorry, Gardenmom. It is not a good sign that his first act home was to solve his anger at being left by major property destruction. I am so glad she and the kids are currently safe, and you have the means to provide for them during the transition. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bootsie Posted February 18, 2023 Share Posted February 18, 2023 So glad you are safe. I am sorry to hear that the situation has deteriorated into this. I am shocked that this soon after major back surgery that he had the strength and mobility to handle a large shovel in a manner to do so much damage; that seems to point to a severe level of rage. It is so good that you have been nearby to help your daughter and grandkids. 11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lecka Posted February 18, 2023 Share Posted February 18, 2023 He might have damaged his back, in the process. How scary, I am so sorry for everyone involved. I’m glad you are there, too. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WildflowerMom Posted February 18, 2023 Share Posted February 18, 2023 Omg. I'm so worried about y'all. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WildflowerMom Posted February 18, 2023 Share Posted February 18, 2023 Were the police called? 6 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted February 18, 2023 Share Posted February 18, 2023 I am so sorry you’re all going through this, and worried for you. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saraha Posted February 18, 2023 Share Posted February 18, 2023 Woah, glad you went with your gut and went back to help! Praying for you guys 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thatfirstsip Posted February 18, 2023 Share Posted February 18, 2023 Well that's definitely grounds for a protection order, and gun removal with it. She should talk to a lawyer immediately to get a temporary emergency custody order (possibly with the protection order). 12 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaybee Posted February 18, 2023 Share Posted February 18, 2023 That's terrifying, @gardenmom5. I'm thinking of you all and praying for you. I hope you can get some solid protections in place quickly. Is her workplace such that she can transfer to another location (like where you live)? I mean, I know pharmacists are probably in demand pretty much everywhere, but I mean her particular company or hospital system. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeachGal Posted February 18, 2023 Share Posted February 18, 2023 Wow! Thank goodness you all got out of there. Very scary. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kassia Posted February 18, 2023 Share Posted February 18, 2023 I'm so sorry. This is just devastating and so scary. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiberia Posted February 18, 2023 Share Posted February 18, 2023 I'm so sorry. Praying for you all. Stay safe. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted February 18, 2023 Share Posted February 18, 2023 I'm glad you are OK. That sounds scary. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bolt. Posted February 18, 2023 Share Posted February 18, 2023 Yes, safety first, then police report. Record keeping (especially registering what is happening with outside authorities) is going to matter a lot, even though it seems like a pointless task when you are busy doing what is needed for safety. As the support person, you are just that one step removed from being the person whose life is falling apart that you can try to keep an eye on the journal of events (dates, times, details, witnesses) and necessities like making police reports. 15 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted February 18, 2023 Share Posted February 18, 2023 I'm so sorry! How awful!!! I hope you got a police report asap. And as much visual evidence and documentation as possible. Praying for safety. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted February 18, 2023 Author Share Posted February 18, 2023 1 hour ago, WildflowerMom said: Were the police called? Yes He called first to report someone as stealing his car. I yelled so the 911 operator would hear me that it was his wife and she's on the title We called 911 while escaping and drove to the closest police station. We have names and numbers 22 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted February 18, 2023 Author Share Posted February 18, 2023 (edited) 2 hours ago, Harriet Vane said: I'm so sorry! How awful!!! I hope you got a police report asap. And as much visual evidence and documentation as possible. Praying for safety. Dash cam of him chasing us with a shovel and a 6 " gash in her windscreen. . We haven't looked at the video but it has to be loaded manually so he can't do anything remotely. Edited February 19, 2023 by Rosie_0801 Removing identifying info 1 21 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KSera Posted February 18, 2023 Share Posted February 18, 2023 Yikes! Seems he needs to be either hospitalized or jailed asap. With this being medication induced, hospital seems more appropriate. I wonder what the requirements are there for an involuntary psychiatric hold? 15 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lmrich Posted February 18, 2023 Share Posted February 18, 2023 I am so sorry and so glad you are with her. Were the kids in the car? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted February 18, 2023 Share Posted February 18, 2023 Oh my goodness, so glad you all are ok. Are the kids ok? DD was driving? So scary! I was thinking an involuntary hold, too, mental health. They will try to straighten out his meds and get him on something to stabilize him. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted February 18, 2023 Author Share Posted February 18, 2023 3 minutes ago, lmrich said: I am so sorry and so glad you are with her. Were the kids in the car? At that point, yes. We were leaving. 11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted February 18, 2023 Author Share Posted February 18, 2023 3 minutes ago, Spryte said: Oh my goodness, so glad you all are ok. Are the kids ok? DD was driving? So scary! I was thinking an involuntary hold, too, mental health. They will try to straighten out his meds and get him on something to stabilize him. It would have to be involuntary, at another hospital. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
70.thumb.jpg.5bd00bf7e586852fb617d604a2c434ee.jpg)
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.