Making friends -- would you be shy or brave?

[Drama Llama]

My kids started a new school in the fall, and between the pandemic, and my job, and the situation with my husband, I don't really know anyone.  I mean I know the school counselor better than my own mother, but I only know a couple of other parents, and I don't know them well.   At their old school, a lot of the kids had been together since they were three, and many of them lived within walking distance, so I had friends.

Anyway, today, I went to pick up my boys, and they asked if they could stay on the outdoor basketball court and play a pick up game with some friends.  So, I sat in my car for an hour and watched.  I thought the other kids might be in aftercare, but then a staff member out came out, approached my kids and said something.  My kids pointed at me and the staff member waved and smiled at me.  Then he did the same thing with cars that the other two kids were pointing at.  So, I'm assuming they had also convinced the adult picking them up to sit in cars and wait.  

I was tempted to go over, and knock on the window, and introduce myself.  But I didn't have the guts.  I think if people had been standing around watching I might have, but it was cold, so I didn't.  

In non-covid times, I might have asked my kids if they wanted to bring their friends back to our house for dinner, or offered that the next time I could supervise all 4 kids and then drive them home, but we aren't doing those things right now because of covid.  

 I'm wondering if other people would have had the courage to go over and say "Hi", or if everyone things I made the right choice to sit in my car.  WWYD?

[fraidycat]

I wouldn't approach their cars, but if parents were atanding nearby and watching the game, I would introduce myself.

[regentrude]

Normally I am outgoing and would approach others easily - but with Covid being so crazy, I would have stayed away from people as well. I love meeting new people, but these days, I would not want to be approached by a stranger.

[prairiewindmomma]

I would go introduce myself.  It would be hard for me, but I would do it.  Can you have your boys spot out their friends' parents and go from there? Usually I do a targeted approach.

-----We've moved several times. If I waited for other people to introduce themselves to me, I wouldn't ever meet anyone. I have to stretch myself, but I need community and my kids need community.  Making those initial introductions makes it easier to say yes to playdates/hanging out.

[catz]

During covid and especially while we are surging, no.  Prior to covid or maybe if we got back to summer numbers, maybe depending on my mood.  

I love my family, but am pretty lonely.  My spouse gets together with some outdoorsy athletic friends but I don't have anything like that.  I've lost a lot of the connections I had when my kids were younger.  Ugh, can't wait for things to be a little better anyway.

[kbutton]

My response would depend on the day. 

I assume you'll have additional chances to introduce yourself, and if you knocked on my window in a safe location where kids were playing, I wouldn't think you were a stalker. 🙂 

[Shoeless]

I would introduce myself in non covid times. 

If everyone was outside, I would introduce myself during covid times. But with the cold and Covid, I would settle for a friendly wave from the car until a better opportunity comes up.

[Miss Tick]

I would happily go say Hi - eventually. Not the first time, but perhaps the third time if one or both of my kids particularly clicked with somebody. That is definitely the way to get the ball rolling. Then when Omicron is past and the next wave hasn't yet hit and the weather is nice, I could offer something like masked carpool or an outdoor meetup for the kids and the parents would have a bit of prior knowledge.

[Spryte]

Under normal circumstances, I’d go say hello. 

I honestly don’t know if I would have done that *today*, with Covid surging.

So I’m a maybe. Masked, for sure. But then that would be an issue in our area — lots of hostility toward people wearing masks, ugh. So I might worry that it would impact my kid, and … I’d probably have skipped it today.

 

[Arcadia]

Under normal circumstances, parents/caregivers would likely be standing around watching and taking photos/videos, and exchanging contact details.

Now, I would stay put in my car out of courtesy to social distancing requirements, and just smile and maybe wave in their direction. My husband’s department has another colleague that is covid positive. 

[prairiewindmomma]

Huh. I'm picturing this with me wearing a N95, outside, them in their car, most likely masked, and a few feet of air in between us. I've met my kid as they walk out of the gym, and they are pointing me toward's friends' car. Really, no quick introduction? "Hey, I'm B&H--kid and kiddo's mom. Just wanted to say hi because I don't think we've had a chance to meet yet."

Maybe it's different here because everyone masks. It's required in all indoor spaces here, and most people just mask up outdoors as well if they can't maintain 6'. 

[Clarita]

In my fully masked pretty cautious area, parents have generally stood around outside to pick up kids. So, we say hi and connect. I would feel uncomfortable going up to someone's car knocking on the window to say "Hi." Mostly because I would be a little frightened if I were the person in the car (but that is entirely a me problem). 

In your shoes and I wanted to make friends I would stand out in the cold for a bit to see if any other parents wanted to join me and talk to someone instead of waste time in their car.

[Ausmumof3]

During covid no. It’s been weird with my youngest footy team because the first season parents had to stay in cars due to covid so didn’t get to know anyone

[kristin0713]

I am from NJ, so definitely not 🤣  I think around here people would look at me as if I had two heads.  If there were other moms standing around, and I was also standing around, I might strike up a conversation. I would definitely not approach their car. 

[Katy]

Right now no.

In non-covid times when I was in the South or small town Midwest, I’d get out of the car & go sit on the sidelines and hope another parent would join. They likely would. 

In bigger cities I’d stay in my car but interact with other parents at games. 

 

[Drama Llama]

1 hour ago, Arcadia said:

Under normal circumstances, parents/caregivers would likely be standing around watching and taking photos/videos, and exchanging contact details.

Now, I would stay put in my car out of courtesy to social distancing requirements, and just smile and maybe wave in their direction. My husband’s department has another colleague that is covid positive. 

It was freezing, and I was in work clothes, not really dressed for the weather.  

My kids (11 and 14), or at least my oldest, is also at an age where they need some space.  I think he'd be embarrassed if I was out there taking photos of a pick up game on the playground. 

[Jean in Newcastle]

I am quite friendly. But I think that I might be a bit taken aback if someone came up and knocked on my window if I'm in the car.  Am I supposed to get out of the warm car?  Invite someone in to my warm and enclosed car?  Put aside the work that I probably brought with me to do while I'm sitting in the warm car by myself? 

[Drama Llama]

2 hours ago, prairiewindmomma said:

Huh. I'm picturing this with me wearing a N95, outside, them in their car, most likely masked, and a few feet of air in between us. I've met my kid as they walk out of the gym, and they are pointing me toward's friends' car. Really, no quick introduction? "Hey, I'm B&H--kid and kiddo's mom. Just wanted to say hi because I don't think we've had a chance to meet yet."

Maybe it's different here because everyone masks. It's required in all indoor spaces here, and most people just mask up outdoors as well if they can't maintain 6'. 

Well the kids were on the playground.  4 kids, 3 parents supervising from 3 different cars.  Supervising is the wrong word.  The kids sprung it on us at carpool line, but school rules says you can't stay on campus without an adult. I thought maybe they were with aftercare, because the aftercare kids can come out and use the playground, so I wasn't looking for parents, but then once I saw someone waving at the other cars, I figured it out.  

I'm imagining that I would walk up in my N95, smile (with my eyes), wave maybe knock and just say "Hey we're new, I don't know anyone, so I thought I'd come introduce myself.  I'm Baseball and Hockey's mom.  They seem to be having fun huh?"  And then we talk between 5 seconds and a few minutes, and then I go tell my kids we gotta go, and we we see them later?  

We are definitely among the most cautious people at the school, but we're a county with a very high vax rate that takes masks seriously.  So, I'm not worried that people will be hostile.  

[Drama Llama]

1 hour ago, Katy said:

Right now no.

In non-covid times when I was in the South or small town Midwest, I’d get out of the car & go sit on the sidelines and hope another parent would join. They likely would. 

In bigger cities I’d stay in my car but interact with other parents at games. 

 

If these were teammates instead of classmates, I think that would be easier.   For my soccer player, I at least know the names of some of the parents because of games.   

[DeainUSA]

I'm in my car for a reason.  Regardless of covid, weather, whatever. I wouldn't love someone knocking at my window,

[SKL]

Normally I wouldn't go knock on someone's car window even if I were feeling gregarious.

If there were no physical barriers, I might or might not feel like chatting depending on the day.  Usually I'd smile and wave and see if the other person seemed interested in chatting.

I wouldn't go to the step of inviting them home, offering to carpool, etc., without getting to know them a bit first.  But I'm very introverted, so that may not be everyone's norm.

[Elizabeth86]

Oh goodness no. I hate meeting new people. 😂 I

 

[J-rap]

Meeting new people makes my day, but I don't think I'd go knocking at their car door.  I'd go up to them if they were standing outside.  But going up to a car door seems maybe a little intrusive?  That is, I think a lot of people think of their car as their personal space.  Also, people might not feel comfortable with that with Covid still going around.

[MEmama]

In covid times, definitely not. I would feel trapped if I was approached in my car, and honestly I would be really angry if someone decided to violate my space like that. In non covid times it would depend on my mood, but I’m pretty introverted so I probably wouldn’t appreciate it. I would happily reciprocate a friendly wave or smile and seek you out in the future to chat.

If we we were hanging out outside, then sure. I always liked to make connections with the parents of my kid's friends. 

[Emba]

Putting aside all of the Covid stuff, earlier in my life I would have definitely. I used to wait in my car for kids off of the bus with several other parents, and I did it all the time - not just talking to the ones I knew, introducing myself to new people. 
 

but i don’t now, because I realized that people often have phone conversations going, or they just want to listen to that one song interrupted, or whatever. No one was ever mean to me or anything, I just realized that I was almost the only one ever doing it, unless people had a specific question to ask, except the one very gregarious grandma that occasionally picked up her grandkids. And it’s funny, because I am introverted. It’s hard for me to approach people. And I must have come across as very extroverted to some of these people. 

Edited January 11, 2022 by Emba

[marbel]

Covid or not, I wouldn't approach someone's car unless they have windows open and are interacting with their kids/others out the window. In a situation like that, if I stayed in my car, it was because I had something else to do and didn't want to chat with other parents. I wouldn't have really loved someone coming up to the car. 

But most of the time I would be outside, and then would try to approach people or look approachable - whatever that means. I am shy by nature, so it is very hard for me to walk up to people. If I saw a person alone, I would probably go talk. If two or more other parents were there talking, I probably wouldn't, based on experience of blundering into a conversation unwanted. But I live in an area where most people have lived here forever, everyone knows everyone else, and outsiders are not particularly welcomed. When I lived in Cali and Oregon, people were much more open to a stranger walking up to say hello.

[HS Mom in NC]

I the before times I would introduce myself.  Now I'd introduce myself outdoors, socially distanced, and masked to anyone else outside.

[Drama Llama]

Thanks everyone, you're making me glad I didn't get out of the car!

I guess I am struggling to figure out how to connect, particularly with the parents of my teenager's classmates.  My younger kid has invited kids over or to meet people a few times when the stars aligned (e.g. the weather was nice enough to do something all outdoors, covid rates were low, and his Dad was away).  He plays a sport outside of school and has a classmate on his team, and there have also been classmates on opposing teams. 

But for my older kid neither of those things have happened.  The school would usually have some events that I could go to -- an orchestra concert, or Back to School Night, or an information session for 8th grade parents about the high school, but they've all been either online, or during my work day (100% of my leave goes to medical appointments).  He's been invited over to people's houses, etc . . . but it's all indoors so he has said no.  We aren't in a position to host kids in our backyard.  

I hear people saying that in better weather and non-covid times parents would have stood around the playground, but I'm not sure that's really true.  Do you stand on the playground and watch your teenagers play?  At our old school, and in the neighborhood, it is just the parents of younger kids who do that. I think my older kid would be embarrassed if I had done so.  But at this school, the rule is that a parent has to be on campus if the kid is on campus without an activity or aftercare.  Having said that, this didn't happen once in the fall.  When the weather is nice, the elementary aftercare kids are out there, so staying isn't an option, and when there's not covid, I think the kids just end up at someone's house.  

Maybe this is just the reality with a teenager, and I should give up on wanting to connect.  The last time things were close to normal for us, I had a 2nd and 5th grader.  So, I might be trying to recreate an experience that we've outgrown.  

 

[Drama Llama]

15 minutes ago, HS Mom in NC said:

I the before times I would introduce myself.  Now I'd introduce myself outdoors, socially distanced, and masked to anyone else outside.

This is the closest to "outdoors" that I've been with one of his classmate's parents in 4 months of school, which is why I was tempted to do so.  

 

[marbel]

4 minutes ago, Baseballandhockey said:

Do you stand on the playground and watch your teenagers play? 

No, I would not stand on the playground with a teen. But if I was required to stay on the school property, and I wanted to be outside, I would walk the track, or find a table/bench to sit on, not close enough to be watching over the kids playing, but there as required, and if other parents wandered up, I would wave/smile/greet, etc. 

I understand your son turning down invitations to indoor get-togethers. Could he/you suggest a park meetup with the people who are inviting him to their home? (That is assuming there is a park nearby they could meet.)

It is a tough time for teens now. There is no doubt about that at all. Hugs to you and your son. 

[J-rap]

10 minutes ago, Baseballandhockey said:

Thanks everyone, you're making me glad I didn't get out of the car!

I guess I am struggling to figure out how to connect, particularly with the parents of my teenager's classmates.  My younger kid has invited kids over or to meet people a few times when the stars aligned (e.g. the weather was nice enough to do something all outdoors, covid rates were low, and his Dad was away).  He plays a sport outside of school and has a classmate on his team, and there have also been classmates on opposing teams. 

But for my older kid neither of those things have happened.  The school would usually have some events that I could go to -- an orchestra concert, or Back to School Night, or an information session for 8th grade parents about the high school, but they've all been either online, or during my work day (100% of my leave goes to medical appointments).  He's been invited over to people's houses, etc . . . but it's all indoors so he has said no.  We aren't in a position to host kids in our backyard.  

I hear people saying that in better weather and non-covid times parents would have stood around the playground, but I'm not sure that's really true.  Do you stand on the playground and watch your teenagers play?  At our old school, and in the neighborhood, it is just the parents of younger kids who do that. I think my older kid would be embarrassed if I had done so.  But at this school, the rule is that a parent has to be on campus if the kid is on campus without an activity or aftercare.  Having said that, this didn't happen once in the fall.  When the weather is nice, the elementary aftercare kids are out there, so staying isn't an option, and when there's not covid, I think the kids just end up at someone's house.  

Maybe this is just the reality with a teenager, and I should give up on wanting to connect.  The last time things were close to normal for us, I had a 2nd and 5th grader.  So, I might be trying to recreate an experience that we've outgrown.  

 

I can see where this would be a lot harder now when everything's online.  During normal times, I'd meet parents through activities my kids were in -- sitting near them at sports events, helping with fundraising for student clubs, being on the parent drama teams working on sets together and selling tickets together, etc.  Hopefully you'll have opportunities like that down the road!

[SKL]

Yeah, I do think this is largely the reality for teens.  I don't know any of my kids' friends' parents, except those we knew from elementary school.

My kids are 15, and I've been actively pushing them to run their own social lives for at least the past couple years.  I of course drive them around and host get-togethers, because they can't do those things on their own.  But as far as social connections, I'm in listen mode (and sometimes advice mode when appropriate).

I do wish I had a better social life, but if it weren't for Covid, I'd probably still spend time with my kids' long-term friends' parents, and even my old friends from grad school or past jobs.  Covid sucks.

[Jean in Newcastle]

59 minutes ago, Baseballandhockey said:

Thanks everyone, you're making me glad I didn't get out of the car!

I guess I am struggling to figure out how to connect, particularly with the parents of my teenager's classmates.  My younger kid has invited kids over or to meet people a few times when the stars aligned (e.g. the weather was nice enough to do something all outdoors, covid rates were low, and his Dad was away).  He plays a sport outside of school and has a classmate on his team, and there have also been classmates on opposing teams. 

But for my older kid neither of those things have happened.  The school would usually have some events that I could go to -- an orchestra concert, or Back to School Night, or an information session for 8th grade parents about the high school, but they've all been either online, or during my work day (100% of my leave goes to medical appointments).  He's been invited over to people's houses, etc . . . but it's all indoors so he has said no.  We aren't in a position to host kids in our backyard.  

I hear people saying that in better weather and non-covid times parents would have stood around the playground, but I'm not sure that's really true.  Do you stand on the playground and watch your teenagers play?  At our old school, and in the neighborhood, it is just the parents of younger kids who do that. I think my older kid would be embarrassed if I had done so.  But at this school, the rule is that a parent has to be on campus if the kid is on campus without an activity or aftercare.  Having said that, this didn't happen once in the fall.  When the weather is nice, the elementary aftercare kids are out there, so staying isn't an option, and when there's not covid, I think the kids just end up at someone's house.  

Maybe this is just the reality with a teenager, and I should give up on wanting to connect.  The last time things were close to normal for us, I had a 2nd and 5th grader.  So, I might be trying to recreate an experience that we've outgrown.  

 

I knew my teen’s friends. I did not know my teen’s friend’s parents (unless, like SKL I knew them from before). I had one parent insist on meeting me. Honestly, I thought that it was weird. 

[mlktwins]

2 hours ago, MEmama said:

In covid times, definitely not. I would feel trapped if I was approached in my car, and honestly I would be really angry if someone decided to violate my space like that. In non covid times it would depend on my mood, but I’m pretty introverted so I probably wouldn’t appreciate it. I would happily reciprocate a friendly wave or smile and seek you out in the future to chat.

If we we were hanging out outside, then sure. I always liked to make connections with the parents of my kid's friends. 

This is pretty much me also!  I spent a lot of time sitting out at baseball games and swim practices to get to know other parents.  But...if I am in my car by myself, I am usually doing that for a reason - either grading work, cross-stitching, planning.  I have so little time to myself with DH and the boys at home and my outings mostly consisting of taking dad to appointments or dealing with his caregivers.  Time in my van is sacred -- LOL.  Especially during Covid times I would not.  I would be super approachable if I were standing around, etc. and would for sure go introduce myself.  I am a social introvert and do enjoy meeting, talking to, and doing stuff with people.  It sucks the life out of me though and then I need a good recharge.

[mlktwins]

1 minute ago, Jean in Newcastle said:

I knew my teen’s friends. I did not know my teen’s friend’s parents (unless, like SKL I knew them from before). I had one parent insist on meeting me. Honestly, I thought that it was weird. 

Yes, this is true too!  I know quite a few from before, but don't know any of the new friend's parents.  If they wanted my boys to go on vacay or something with them, that would be different.

[Drama Llama]

Maybe I'm not being realistic.  I thought that with a kid too young to drive, in non-covid times, I'd at least know some of his friends' parents by sight,  and their first names names.  If there was no covid, I assume I'd have driven someone's kid somewhere, or my kid would have ridden with someone,  or we would have picked up and dropped off at each other's houses, or met at a game or performance or back to school night.   

 

[mathnerd]

I would never knock on windows of other people's cars for any reason. If they are inside their cars, it is because they want that time or privacy for their browsing, talking on the phone or even just being alone - they probably don't want to be bothered. In Covid times, it is absolutely a no-no for me.

But, if I was walking past a parent in a parking lot who was also walking up to get their kids, I would make passing comments with a "Hi, i have seen your son being picked up by his father on some days, so do you usually do the pick-up on Mondays?" or some such casual thing. I also talk to some people abut the sport activity our kids do together if I see them waiting outside. But, I always smile and nod no matter if I know the parent or not if I knew that our kids do an activity together.

[Drama Llama]

2 hours ago, mathnerd said:

I would never knock on windows of other people's cars for any reason. If they are inside their cars, it is because they want that time or privacy for their browsing, talking on the phone or even just being alone - they probably don't want to be bothered. In Covid times, it is absolutely a no-no for me.

But, if I was walking past a parent in a parking lot who was also walking up to get their kids, I would make passing comments with a "Hi, i have seen your son being picked up by his father on some days, so do you usually do the pick-up on Mondays?" or some such casual thing. I also talk to some people abut the sport activity our kids do together if I see them waiting outside. But, I always smile and nod no matter if I know the parent or not if I knew that our kids do an activity together.

We aren't allowed to get out of the car when picking up or dropping off.  The goal is to get the cars through quickly.  

I get that knocking on the window was a bad idea, but I'm still stuck on what's a good idea. 

[mathnerd]

17 minutes ago, Baseballandhockey said:

We aren't allowed to get out of the car when picking up or dropping off.  The goal is to get the cars through quickly.  

I get that knocking on the window was a bad idea, but I'm still stuck on what's a good idea. 

There are "parent coffees" which meet either on Zoom or in-person outside in cafes in most private schools in my area and volunteer parents (sort of PTA like people) organize these meet ups once a month so parents can meet/socialize/discuss issues etc etc. If your son's school is reasonably big, then there is one such association/group and that is the best place to meet the parents and to get to know more people.

[SKL]

I have attended outdoor high school ball games etc. when my kids were on the team or in the band.  I wouldn't know whose parents were whose though.  The kids are off with their friends, not with their parents.

I think this might even be more pronounced nowadays, after the kids were so starved for social opportunities for so long.  They want to take advantage of every minute they can spend with other kids.  Parents are not only boring but also embarrassing at this age.  😛  My kids' worst nightmare would be for their friends to see how cringy I am.  😛

[Danae]

2 hours ago, Baseballandhockey said:

We aren't allowed to get out of the car when picking up or dropping off.  The goal is to get the cars through quickly.  

I get that knocking on the window was a bad idea, but I'm still stuck on what's a good idea. 

I would ask my kids to get their friends' parents number for me and text them.  That's how we've connected with other parents once the kids are old enough to do things without everyone's parent present.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Why do you need to meet the parents of teens?  Are you vetting them to see if the kids are ok?  Are you trying to get friends for yourself?  
 

Just my opinion and experience- but I got friends for myself based on shared interests etc. not any possible connection with my teens. 

[Carrie12345]

I’ve been pondering the original question, but from the other side, since I am not one to approach other people beyond a smile or wave.

Covid times or not, if someone came to my car, I would have no “out”.
On a bench or leaning on a fence, I’d be perfectly fine with responding to engagement. If I eventually found myself not enjoying the other person’s vibe, I could find a way to excuse myself and retreat to my car or other location. But there’s no escaping if I’m already IN my car!
This is colored by the fact that I have met more wackadoos in this area than I had ever met in my first 28 years.  Before the bizarre experiences I’ve had here, I did not have elaborate avoidance plans.

[Drama Llama]

8 hours ago, Jean in Newcastle said:

Why do you need to meet the parents of teens?  Are you vetting them to see if the kids are ok?  Are you trying to get friends for yourself?  
 

Just my opinion and experience- but I got friends for myself based on shared interests etc. not any possible connection with my teens. 

I guess because back when things were “normal”, which for us was 3.5 years ago, I knew the other parents, and that came in handy.  I could text another parent if I had a question about something silly, and if the pandemic ever ends I could offer a kid a ride.  Today is a good example.  I pick up one kid at 3:45 and one at 5:00.   It would be nice to be able to have my kid say to a friend “do you want to stay and play basketball?”  My mom will be there, and have the other mom be OK with that because she’s had some interaction with me.

At this point I at least know some 6th grade parents but next year my oldest might be in the high school where I know no one.

Plus I have no idea what the rumor mill is saying about our family at this point, and it would be nice to have some normal interactions with people to counteract that.

[Drama Llama]

11 hours ago, mathnerd said:

There are "parent coffees" which meet either on Zoom or in-person outside in cafes in most private schools in my area and volunteer parents (sort of PTA like people) organize these meet ups once a month so parents can meet/socialize/discuss issues etc etc. If your son's school is reasonably big, then there is one such association/group and that is the best place to meet the parents and to get to know more people.

They have had a few of those, but they have been during the workday.  

In my experience there are often informal ones but someone would have to tell me, which could happen if I knew people.

[SKL]

High school kids don't need any parent to watch them play pickup outdoor basketball after school IMO.

My girls do what they want after school without adult supervision.  My only role is as their driver.  Normally they walk to a shopping area about 2 miles from my house and tell me where to pick them up.  If we lived closer, I wouldn't be even that involved.

(Not to be an old lady, but this was my life since 2nd or 3rd grade.)

Driving another kid may be on a different level.  But on the other hand, by high school age, we've hopefully taught our kids when it's unsafe to get in someone else's car, or at least taught them to check with us first.

[marbel]

5 minutes ago, SKL said:

High school kids don't need any parent to watch them play pickup outdoor basketball after school IMO.

The school requires it. Which seems bizarre to me, but, there it is.

[Drama Llama]

These are middle schoolers, 13 and 14 year old eighth graders.  They were on an elementary school playground while the elementary school had aftercare going on.  I can understand why the school wouldn't want unsupervised middle schoolers playing there.  Because of the cold weather that the younger kids weren't out, so they let them use it.  I would have been sitting there anyway, because I didn't find out about the plan till I got there for pick them up.  

 

[Emba]

So I have had the same trouble meeting the parents of my kids ‘ friends, even since elementary school. And honestly, the only reason I’ve made friends with other parents/adults is that I’m willing to be brave and introduce myself and try to strike up conversation.  But it is hard for me, and i talk to a lot more people than I end up becoming friends with. Really it works best when the other person is also looking for friends.

 And sometimes it means that you will have to carry the burden of the friendship for awhile, being the one to call or text first, the one to suggest meet ups, etc. And I’m willing to do that for awhile but eventually if I’m the only one making an effort I’ll decide it isn’t meant to be that we’re actual friends, and we’ll be  just friendly acquaintances, and I stop making the efforts, and that’s okay.

[KungFuPanda]

I love meeting people and I’ve always been more social than most. What you’re suggesting is socially awkward. Think of the vehicle as an extension of a home. It’s an odd plan. The car is ‘base’ for moms and you’ll confuse them.
 

Meeting people right now is so much harder so you are definitely at a disadvantage. With kids getting older, it might be time to change your strategy. Making friends of your children’s friends’ parents has a shelf life that dwindles as they approach high school. It’s good to diversify that friend portfolio and meet people who are not connected to your children. Do you have any personal interests? Does your library host online book clubs? Do you have a local nature center doing guided hikes?  Outdoor yoga?  You want to gradually invest in people who won’t disappear when your kid changes activities or graduates.