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S/O Did you wear something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue? A sixpence in your shoe?

Eos

By Eos,
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Eos

Eos

Posted
Posted

My something old was also my something borrowed: one of my friends showed up with heirloom pearl earrings that I wore.  Something new: my sister made my dress. Blue: silk undies. I did put a coin in my shoe but I think it was a franc.

 

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Clarita

Clarita

Posted
Posted

Something old- my engagement ring. I ended up loving a ring that was actually used.

Something new- earrings, dress, shoes, etc.

Something borrowed- most of the jewelry were my mom's and family heirlooms. (My family didn't have fancy family heirlooms nor did they totally match my outfit but it's Chinese tradition.) 

Something blue- on my garter.

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Emba

Emba

Posted
Posted
19 hours ago, rebcoola said:

Yes but not really on purpose.  A new dress, my prom shoes so old, engagement ring was a sapphire so blue. I borrowed my mom's make up because well the wedding was at her house and she wears makeup and I don't silly to buy it for one day.

I had a sapphire engagement ring too, but didn’t even think of it as “something blue”. I had a blue garter. My sister loaned me a tiara for the borrowed, my dress had been my mother’s and grandmother’s, so was the old, my shoes were new, and I taped a dime to the bottom, for the “sixpence”.

It’s funny I made a point of doing all that. We had a pretty non-traditional wedding, with no bridesmaids or groomsmen, and I felt free ( much to my best friend’s dismay) to not do whatever traditions we didn’t want to. So nobody (but DH) saw my blue garter because removing the brides garter publicly has always seemed creepy to me.

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DawnM

DawnM

Posted
Posted
On 11/3/2021 at 10:29 AM, MEmama said:

No.

I wouldn’t have even bothered with the wedding if it had been my choice (marriage yes, wedding no).

This is me too.   

I did none of the above and would have relished the idea of NO FORMAL WEDDING.

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Kassia

Kassia

Posted
Posted
On 11/3/2021 at 10:29 AM, MEmama said:

 

I wouldn’t have even bothered with the wedding if it had been my choice (marriage yes, wedding no).

 

37 minutes ago, DawnM said:

This is me too.   

I did none of the above and would have relished the idea of NO FORMAL WEDDING.

Same!  I was young (19) and my mom pressured me to have a traditional wedding but I hated the idea and ended up hating the wedding.  

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DawnM

DawnM

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Kassia said:

 

Same!  I was young (19) and my mom pressured me to have a traditional wedding but I hated the idea and ended up hating the wedding.  

I hated mine too.   I don't look back on that day with fondness at all.   My MIL dictated a lot and I was trying to please her, wish I had known then that nothing I can ever do will please her, it would have made the day better, I would have had it 2,000 miles away, where I wanted to have it, and it would have been on the beach or on the cliff overlooking the beach.....

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Kassia

Kassia

Posted
Posted
39 minutes ago, DawnM said:

I hated mine too.   I don't look back on that day with fondness at all.   My MIL dictated a lot and I was trying to please her, wish I had known then that nothing I can ever do will please her, it would have made the day better, I would have had it 2,000 miles away, where I wanted to have it, and it would have been on the beach or on the cliff overlooking the beach.....

I'm sorry you had a bad experience too.  I get no joy from thinking back to my wedding day or looking at the pictures.  I just cringe and wish I had been mature enough to insist on doing it the way I wanted (something small and informal - beach would have been beautiful!).  

As far as MIL - wow, I spent so many years trying to please mine until I finally realized I never ever could.  It was so freeing to stop trying and I wish I had done it years earlier (I think it had been after around 26 years of marriage at that point). 

 

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Carol in Cal.

Carol in Cal.

Posted
Posted (edited)

Everything except the sixpence, but not on purpose—it just worked out that way.

My mom loaned me a fake pearl necklace and then insisted that I give it back even though she had three others.  I had new dress, veil, and shoes.  I wore some earrings that I had had for a while—IIRC they had been my grandmother’s.  And then I had a blue garter for public use.  However, at DH’s instigation I also had a pink, furry, private garter that no one saw but him.  

We had the slowest garter removal I had ever seen, DH really drew it out for a long while.  In the video I am giggling so hard I can hardly sit still, and you see this guy shaking his hands behind me, like ‘Whoa’.  Just those hands.  I was trying to look like I casually had my hands clasped in my lap when actually I was desperately holding my rather frothy dress down so it wouldn’t be too revealing in the confusion.  It’s really very racy, which is funny considering that we didn’t tongue kiss at the altar or when people clanged their glasses, and we had a very sedate exchange of wedding cake later on.  

I found out later that my grandmother had been critical to DH about how only elderly people went to Bora Bora (our honeymoon destination) and that it’s really pretty quiet and boring.  And that after this drawn out garter display, he stood up, turned to her, and said, “We are NOT going to be bored in Bora Bora.”  To which she could think of no reply, which was quite unusual for her.  I was both amused and appalled.  It was really pretty funny.

Someone had told me, “Don’t spend a lot of money on your wedding.  You will be so nervous you won’t have a good time yourself and won’t even remember most of it.”  I looked on that as a challenge and set a goal to have fun at my own wedding.  And I did!  One of the keys was to have everything so set beforehand that there was no last minute decision making or other things to do there.

Edited by Carol in Cal.
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Lori D.

Lori D.

Posted
Posted (edited)

Also not familiar with the sixpence line. But otherwise, yes -- I doubled up 😉 :
- old / borrowed = mother-in-law's pearl necklace
- new/ blue = garter with blue ribbon made for me by my sister

ETA -- PS
SO sorry to hear some of you had such unhappy wedding memories! DH and I planned ours, it was small and informal, held outside in the most beautiful weather right at sunset. Family and friends made the finger foods. We decorated the chocolate sheet cake with live flowers. It was lovely. We skipped most of the things that were "traditional" at the time we got married, and did what was meaningful to us.  I just had fun with the old/new/borrowed/blue, rather than as a required traditional thing. 😉 

Edited by Lori D.
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Kassia

Kassia

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Lori D. said:


DH and I planned ours, it was small and informal, held outside in the most beautiful weather right at sunset. Family and friends made the finger foods. We decorated the chocolate sheet cake with live flowers. It was lovely. We skipped most of the things that were "traditional" at the time we got married, and did what was meaningful to us.  I just had fun with the old/new/borrowed/blue, rather than as a required traditional thing. 😉 

Sounds absolutely perfect and just the way a wedding should be! 

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MEmama

MEmama

Posted
Posted
14 hours ago, Kassia said:

I'm sorry you had a bad experience too.  I get no joy from thinking back to my wedding day or looking at the pictures.  I just cringe and wish I had been mature enough to insist on doing it the way I wanted (something small and informal - beach would have been beautiful!).  

As far as MIL - wow, I spent so many years trying to please mine until I finally realized I never ever could.  It was so freeing to stop trying and I wish I had done it years earlier (I think it had been after around 26 years of marriage at that point). 

 

My sister worked in catering at the time I got married, and completely hijacked the ceremony, etc. She is completely opposite of me— extroverted, loves fancy parties, is impressed by fancy food and wine, and unwilling to understand how much DH and I dislike all of that.

DH and I wanted to elope (hello Vegas!) but his family was having none of that and we didn’t know how to stand up to them yet. The best we could get by anybody was a very small backyard ceremony at my parents house, half a country away from where we lived. I hated all of it, even the time of year which was dictated to us by distant relatives who didn’t come anyway. 

We were forced to get professional photos taken but I never bothered to order any prints. I have one of just me and DH and it’s just a proof. Lol. Hey, when I say don’t want something it’s because I *don’t want it*! 😡

In the end it really makes no difference. Never in my life had I given any thought to a wedding day or any of that, and I’ve never thought back fondly or really otherwise about it. I wish my family had listened to us and not wasted their money (on something that was not fancy enough for them and too fancy for us). I don’t think they ever thought our marriage would last anyway. Even now at 27 years they barely recognize it. 🤷‍♀️

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Kassia

Kassia

Posted
Posted
31 minutes ago, MEmama said:

I wish my family had listened to us and not wasted their money (on something that was not fancy enough for them and too fancy for us). I don’t think they ever thought our marriage would last anyway. Even now at 27 years they barely recognize it. 🤷‍♀️

Wow, our experience is so similar.  My parents spent way too much on our wedding (in a location I didn't want with guests I didn't care about) and then my mother gave me grief about it years later about what a hardship it was and how I owed her for that even though I was clear at the time none of that was my choice.  At our wedding, there were actually bets going on about how long our marriage would last and most people said two years.  

MIL wouldn't watch us get married because she was against it - she attended but looked sideways at the wall the whole time.  

Also, my wedding dress (that I hated) didn't even fit.  We bought it during my winter break from college when I was home and I didn't come home again for a fitting until a few days before the wedding, which was also prom season.  There was no way to get it altered in time for the wedding and the dress was too big and the shoulders kept sliding down during my whole wedding day - almost had a few wardrobe malfunctions!  Plus it was so unflattering being too big.  

The whole thing was such a disaster!  

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MEmama

MEmama

Posted
Posted
33 minutes ago, Kassia said:

Wow, our experience is so similar.  My parents spent way too much on our wedding (in a location I didn't want with guests I didn't care about) and then my mother gave me grief about it years later about what a hardship it was and how I owed her for that even though I was clear at the time none of that was my choice.  At our wedding, there were actually bets going on about how long our marriage would last and most people said two years.  

MIL wouldn't watch us get married because she was against it - she attended but looked sideways at the wall the whole time.  

Also, my wedding dress (that I hated) didn't even fit.  We bought it during my winter break from college when I was home and I didn't come home again for a fitting until a few days before the wedding, which was also prom season.  There was no way to get it altered in time for the wedding and the dress was too big and the shoulders kept sliding down during my whole wedding day - almost had a few wardrobe malfunctions!  Plus it was so unflattering being too big.  

The whole thing was such a disaster!  

I gave your post a sad face but actually I’m laughing—I *think* you understand and won’t be offended! 🙂 

I am forever amazed at how off base family priorities and expectations can be. What’s so hard about just listening to the person (one's own kid!) standing in front of them? 

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marbel

marbel

Posted
Posted (edited)
10 hours ago, Carol in Cal. said:

..."Don’t spend a lot of money on your wedding.  You will be so nervous you won’t have a good time yourself and won’t even remember most of it.”  I looked on that as a challenge and set a goal to have fun at my own wedding.

I really loved almost everything about my wedding and I had fun too. (I just didn't like my dress.) We did have it catered and it was lovely food, not a sitdown meal but various hors d'oeuvres, a fun pianist who played anything requested, delicious cake. It was pretty casual and I enjoyed walking around talking to our guests, who were all our - as in my husband's and my - guests. No obligatory parental guests; my mother would never have imposed that on me and my husband's parents came in from across the US and so could not invite anyone.

Actually I did not eat much of the lovely food at the wedding; I was too busy talking to people, dancing with my nieces and nephews (we did not do traditional first dance stuff, but the little kids were determined to have dancing) to actually eat much. But the caterer had told my husband to bring a cooler and they packed up leftovers for us, complete with napkins, utensils, etc., so we could enjoy it in our hotel afterward. 

We did manage to offend two people though: one friend who was annoyed that the venue did not allow beer (we had wine and champagne as well as non-alcohol offerings), and one who complained the wedding ceremony was too Christian. That cracked me up. The ceremony was 15 minutes long, not time for a big fire and brimstone sermon. And everyone in attendance knew us well enough to know we are Christians and should have been able to make the guess that God would come up somewhere in the ceremony.  😄

Edited by marbel
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Catwoman

Catwoman

Posted
Posted
11 hours ago, Carol in Cal. said:

Everything except the sixpence, but not on purpose—it just worked out that way.

My mom loaned me a fake pearl necklace and then insisted that I give it back even though she had three others.  I had new dress, veil, and shoes.  I wore some earrings that I had had for a while—IIRC they had been my grandmother’s.  And then I had a blue garter for public use.  However, at DH’s instigation I also had a pink, furry, private garter that no one saw but him.  

We had the slowest garter removal I had ever seen, DH really drew it out for a long while.  In the video I am giggling so hard I can hardly sit still, and you see this guy shaking his hands behind me, like ‘Whoa’.  Just those hands.  I was trying to look like I casually had my hands clasped in my lap when actually I was desperately holding my rather frothy dress down so it wouldn’t be too revealing in the confusion.  It’s really very racy, which is funny considering that we didn’t tongue kiss at the altar or when people clanged their glasses, and we had a very sedate exchange of wedding cake later on.  

I found out later that my grandmother had been critical to DH about how only elderly people went to Bora Bora (our honeymoon destination) and that it’s really pretty quiet and boring.  And that after this drawn out garter display, he stood up, turned to her, and said, “We are NOT going to be bored in Bora Bora.”  To which she could think of no reply, which was quite unusual for her.  I was both amused and appalled.  It was really pretty funny.

Someone had told me, “Don’t spend a lot of money on your wedding.  You will be so nervous you won’t have a good time yourself and won’t even remember most of it.”  I looked on that as a challenge and set a goal to have fun at my own wedding.  And I did!  One of the keys was to have everything so set beforehand that there was no last minute decision making or other things to do there.

 

Am I the only one who wants to schedule a WTM meetup at Carol's house so we can meet her dh? 😉 

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Kassia

Kassia

Posted
Posted
12 hours ago, Carol in Cal. said:

 I looked on that as a challenge and set a goal to have fun at my own wedding.  And I did!  One of the keys was to have everything so set beforehand that there was no last minute decision making or other things to do there.

What a great story!  🙂  Glad you had fun - that's the way it should be! 

 

1 hour ago, MEmama said:

I gave your post a sad face but actually I’m laughing—I *think* you understand and won’t be offended! 🙂 

I am forever amazed at how off base family priorities and expectations can be. What’s so hard about just listening to the person (one's own kid!) standing in front of them? 

Definitely laugh!  It was such a mess from start to finish.  My mother was a narcissist so I'm sure many issues from our wedding stemmed from that - she wanted the wedding a certain way to look good in front of certain people and didn't care at all what DH and I wanted.  

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