Alaska Mom Posted December 8, 2008 Share Posted December 8, 2008 I'm looking for any and all of your favorites (only the MOST worthy) & feel free to include why they were meaningful to you. Hopefully this list will be a reference for others as well. Thanks! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted December 8, 2008 Share Posted December 8, 2008 Raising Your Spirited Child made me think differently about how children process situations. It totally changed my relationship with dd10 who was 4yo when I discovered it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coralloyd Posted December 8, 2008 Share Posted December 8, 2008 Creative Correction By Lisa Welchel Finding Your Purpose as a Mom By Donna Otto (not just a parenting book) Hope these help :001_smile:. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tracey in TX Posted December 8, 2008 Share Posted December 8, 2008 Parenting with Love and Logic and BabyWise (for babies/toddlers) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnnetteB Posted December 8, 2008 Share Posted December 8, 2008 These are just a few of my favorites, "Children of a Greater God" by Terry Galespy "A Celebration of Children" by Edith Schaeffer "Raising a Responsible Child" by Don Dinkmeyer "Praise Her in the Gates" by Nancy Wilson "Family Driven Faith" by Voddie Baucham Jr. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lulubelle Posted December 8, 2008 Share Posted December 8, 2008 If I could only read them each over again once a year! I was in a book group for about 2 years that read most of these. Most recently: Transforming the Difficult Child by Glasser and Easly It made me slow down and not expect so much All time favorite: How to Talk so Kids Will Listen and Listen so Kids Will Talk by Faber and MazlishMade me listen twice as much as I speak Siblings without Rivalry by the above 2. Keep the Siblings Lose the Rivalry by Carmell Great family night ideas of bringing kids together The Blessing by Trent and Smalley Meaningful touch, spoken message, attaching high value, picturing a special future and an active commitment Five Love Languages for Kids by ? Learn about your kid and how they feel loved How to Really Love Your Child by Campbell One size does not fit all Raising a Modern Day Knight by Lewis For fathers! How Children Raise Parents by Allender You can't do it all right! How & When to Tell Your Kids About Sex by Jones' Don't try to shelter you kids, teach them what they need to know! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Firefly Posted December 8, 2008 Share Posted December 8, 2008 Any of the Positive Discipline books by Jane Nelsen The Seven Spiritual Laws for Parents by Deepak Chopra The Mother's Almanac by Marguerite Kelly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
6packofun Posted December 8, 2008 Share Posted December 8, 2008 Boundaries with Kids (Cloud & Townsend) and Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours (Leman). Lots of other good ones, though! (I liked Raising Your Spirited Child, also, and Heartfelt Discipline by the Clarksons and The Five Love Languages of Children by Chapman) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LBC Posted December 8, 2008 Share Posted December 8, 2008 Hold on to Your Kids: Why Parents Matter More Than Peers by Dr. Gordon Neufeld http://www.gordonneufeld.com/ I love this author's parenting perspective. Very intuitive. Lori Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted December 8, 2008 Share Posted December 8, 2008 Boundaries with Kids (Cloud & Townsend) and Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours (Leman). Lots of other good ones, though! (I liked Raising Your Spirited Child, also, and Heartfelt Discipline by the Clarksons and The Five Love Languages of Children by Chapman) Most helpful book for me was also "Boundaries with Kids" by John Townsend and Henry Cloud. Down to earth good advise! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bumbledeb Posted December 8, 2008 Share Posted December 8, 2008 I have read loads over the years but my absolute number one tip-top favourite is: "Unconditional Parenting" by Alfie Kohn I liked it so much I bought four copies so I'd always have some to lend out. Three are on loan right now. It's one of the very few books I felt compelled to write a recommendation for on Amazon.co.uk. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hornblower Posted December 8, 2008 Share Posted December 8, 2008 The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding Hold on to Your Kids Raising Your Spirited Child Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tibbyl Posted December 8, 2008 Share Posted December 8, 2008 I eagerly second Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn. We also bought the lecture on DVD because it is a wonderful primer for parents (psst .. dads) who do not wish to read a parenting book. The book begins at the most logical point: by defining what one's ultimate goals are for person one's child will become. Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish's How to Talk so Kids Will Listen and Listen so Kids Will Talk and same duo's Siblings Without Rivalry. Any of Jane Nelsen's Positive Disclipine series. They are broken into age categories. Thomas Harris's Parent Effectiveness Training. As would be true of any good parenting book worth its salt, all these books have helped me not only in interactions with my children, but also with other adults. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dragons in the flower bed Posted December 8, 2008 Share Posted December 8, 2008 The Science of Parenting by Margot Sunderland really helped me understand why my kids do the things they do, why the parenting techniques that work do, and how my actions shape my kids, better than any other book I've read. Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves by Naomi Aldort helped me put into practice the ideas I learned in The Science of Parenting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cin Posted December 8, 2008 Share Posted December 8, 2008 Raising a Thinking Child & Shepherding a CHild's Heart, The Explosive Child, and a couple of books on ADD. Also, Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining and Bad Attitudes..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirty ethel rackham Posted December 8, 2008 Share Posted December 8, 2008 My favs: The Discipline Book by William and Marth Sears The Sears' gave me so much more confidence in my ability to parent through connection and relationship. They allowed me to see that non-punitive, non-corporal punishment did not have to mean out of control brats. but could result in loving, well-behaved children. Their experience with a wide range of ages spoke to me. The fact that their adult children are so accomplished and speak so highly of their parents was the proof that I needed. When Bill shared that doctors do not learn parenting and childcare in medical school, I felt so much more confident to ditch the baloney that my then pediatrician was feeding me. I also like their Christian parenting book because it helped me feel more confident that my way of parenting was NOT unbiblical, in opposition to what I was hearing from some very judgemental "friends." Loving Your Child is not Enough: Positive Discipline that Works - Nancy Samalin Gave me tools and actions to use with my kids to keep from falling into the yell, scream, spank mode that I was raised with. Very sensible approach. How to Talk so Kids Will Listen and Listen so Kids Will Talk - Faber and Mazlish Opened my eyes to using language to effectively communicate with my kids and to understand where they were coming from. Gave me words and tools to be an effective parent and reduce my frustration. This one is an oldie, but goodie and I try to re-read it every couple of years. Siblings Without Rivalry - Faber and Mazlish Boy howdie, do I wish my mother had read this. I think my siblings would be much closer if my folks had understood what effect their parenting had on the relationships between children. I learned so much about how to foster good relationships and how to avoid the traps that create rivalry. Kids Are Worth It: Giving the Gift of Inner Discipline - Barbara Coloroso I just LOVE this book. Her philosophy makes sense. Not so much a method book, but a parenting philosophy book. But - lots of examples that helped me come up with my own tools. Another book worth re-reading time and again. Mothering and Fathering - Tina Thevelin I have not actually read this book, but I heard the author speak on this topic. She addressed the roles that parents play and how both are valuable. Children need the nurturer who kisses boo boos and teaches caution, but children also need the encourager to push children beyond their perceived limitations. I realized that I was treating my husband's parenting as wrong rather than a healthy counterpoint to mine. Raising Your Spirited Child was a life-saver for me and my 2nd son who was terribly high need. It helped me eliminate some of the battles we were having and I learned ways around it and how to conciously love this child that I often wanted to toss out the window. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Alfred Academy Posted December 9, 2008 Share Posted December 9, 2008 Raising Your Spirited Child made me think differently about how children process situations. It totally changed my relationship with dd10 who was 4yo when I discovered it. :iagree: completely agree with this suggestion 100%! I have been reading and working through it the past couple of months and have had many "a-ha" moments not only about my boys, but about myself as well! Great read. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennefer@SSA Posted December 9, 2008 Share Posted December 9, 2008 I have read probably 20 parenting books and I think my search is over. I have my 2 favorites that I am going to hang onto and reference often: Creative Correction by Lisa Welchel and The No Cry Discipline Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. I love both of these books. Okay before posting I went back and read the other recommendations and I may have to read just one more! I am excited to learn of Raising Your Spirited Child. Ordering this one for my very spirited 2 1/2 yo!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catherine Posted December 9, 2008 Share Posted December 9, 2008 nt Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alice Posted December 9, 2008 Share Posted December 9, 2008 Grace Based Parenting by Tim Kimmel Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LizzyBee Posted December 9, 2008 Share Posted December 9, 2008 Shepherding a Child's Heart All of the CD's from the Parenting with Love and Logic people Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted December 9, 2008 Share Posted December 9, 2008 I've never read a parenting book. I'd rather rely on my own intuition and upbringing than some unknown person telling me how to raise my kid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stripe Posted December 9, 2008 Share Posted December 9, 2008 I actually have found Alfie Kohn's book "Punished by Rewards" to be much more interesting and thought-provoking than "Unconditional Parenting." I need tips in certain instances because my intuition is taking me in the wrong direction, and I want to raise my children differently than how I was raised in certain specific ways, but I don't always know what to do when I want to not do something else. I do not accept all of what's in any of these books because their goals are not always the same as mine, but I have been challenged to expand my thinking on certain issues. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beansprouts Posted December 9, 2008 Share Posted December 9, 2008 (edited) I've never read a parenting book. I'd rather rely on my own intuition and upbringing than some unknown person telling me how to raise my kid. :iagree: I have become a better parent since I ditched the books and began paying attention to my children's unique needs. I find that many of these books interpret childish behavior with adult motives which are simply not the way little children think. Many (not all) apply a "one size fits all" system for discipline. There is still one that I would recommend and that is "Playful Parenting". It encouraged me to step into my kids' world and see things through their eyes. Edited December 9, 2008 by beansprouts Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovedtodeath Posted December 9, 2008 Share Posted December 9, 2008 The parenting advice that has helped me be more loving is free online. And the RGT website has the entire book online for free as well. How Can I Control My Emotions? Here is an article that really helped me and DD both. From the Tomato website: Fixing ourselves first has sections such as cultivating love and joy and overcoming a critical spirit. Then there is a section titled irritation with children that is helpful as well. http://www.raisinggodlytomatoes.com/ch11.asp This chapter on temper tantrums has scriptures quoted. I am starting Boundaries with Children right now. I think I should have read the one for adults first.;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alaska Mom Posted December 9, 2008 Author Share Posted December 9, 2008 There is still one that I would recommend and that is "Playful Parenting". It encouraged me to step into my kids' world and see things through their eyes. I just started this book and I love it. I'm not big into parenting books either, most I usually start then ditch for some reason or another. But I definitely have a few that have helped me immensely to be a better parent. I was hoping to find in this list here some "developmental" books. I think part of the problem I'm having is related to my giving my dd more responsibility than was appropriate for her age. She's always been very mature, well beyond her years. But I'm realizing now that what appeared to be maturity was still just a young child, not ready for the responsibilities that I had allowed her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beansprouts Posted December 9, 2008 Share Posted December 9, 2008 (edited) I just started this book and I love it. I'm not big into parenting books either, most I usually start then ditch for some reason or another. But I definitely have a few that have helped me immensely to be a better parent. I was hoping to find in this list here some "developmental" books. I think part of the problem I'm having is related to my giving my dd more responsibility than was appropriate for her age. She's always been very mature, well beyond her years. But I'm realizing now that what appeared to be maturity was still just a young child, not ready for the responsibilities that I had allowed her. I have used some books in the "Your X year old" series to understand appropriate behavior and expectations for each age. ETA: Here is one of them Edited December 9, 2008 by beansprouts Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in Neverland Posted December 9, 2008 Share Posted December 9, 2008 Creative Correction By Lisa Welchel :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 4boys Posted December 9, 2008 Share Posted December 9, 2008 All the books by Gary and Anne Marie Ezzo (Childwise, Babywise, etc.) and Michael and Debi Pearl (To Train Up A Child). Those are our favourites. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nmoira Posted December 9, 2008 Share Posted December 9, 2008 Thomas Harris's Parent Effectiveness Training This is the one book I keep going back to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lionfamily1999 Posted December 9, 2008 Share Posted December 9, 2008 "Please Don't Eat the Daisies" Jean Kerr I love this book. It's not a parenting book by today's standards, but it has some good advice and plenty of stories and anecdotes to cover nearly any situation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LBC Posted December 9, 2008 Share Posted December 9, 2008 (edited) I was hoping to find in this list here some "developmental" books. I think part of the problem I'm having is related to my giving my dd more responsibility than was appropriate for her age. She's always been very mature, well beyond her years. But I'm realizing now that what appeared to be maturity was still just a young child, not ready for the responsibilities that I had allowed her. The book I mentioned - Hold on to Your Kids - really isn't like any other parenting book I've ever read. I generally don't like parenting books, because they tend to offer "how to" advice, and there are no two families alike. Dr. Neufeld is a developmental psychologist. His approach is about creating the right type of parent/child relationship, so that you are able to influence your child because they are attached to you as a parent. So much of what he says rings true for me, and for many parents I've met who have read this book. Dr. Neufeld explains that from a very early age our children look to us for guidance. We are like their North Pole. They orient themselves by us. When (if) they go to school, they can do well if there's an adult who is good at making a connection with the child. Then they are able to orient themselves to that other adult. What happens to most children is they don't find an adult that they can connect with when the parent is absent, and they begin to orient themselves to their peers. As they mature, this orientation becomes stronger, and eventually this bond becomes stronger than the parental bond, causing lots of problems when the peers begin to do things that go against the values of their parents. Another thing he talks about is how children need to find their individuality within a healthy attachment. So often our culture really pushes children to grow up early, and be independent. Dr. Neufeld believes that people are to take this healthy step only when they are safe within a healthy relationship, and that it's an ongoing thing. Attachment leads to individuation, from the toddler to the teen. I could go on, but the book explains it so much better than I can. It was one of those books that affirmed in me the things I already intuitively knew about parenting. It also helped me to see why I behaved so badly when I was a teen, which has helped me immensely in parenting my own teens. The only "how to" in this book has to do with relationship, not rules or methods. Lori Edited December 9, 2008 by LBC Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BakersDozen Posted December 9, 2008 Share Posted December 9, 2008 All the books by Gary and Anne Marie Ezzo (Childwise, Babywise, etc.) and Michael and Debi Pearl (To Train Up A Child). Those are our favourites. Glad to see someone else uses these! I really don't read much of Dobson but his "Bringing Up Boys" is a yearly read for me on New Year's Day just to help me refresh myself as I attempt to figure out how to raise boys (girls I "get"...boys not so much :001_huh:). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lulubelle Posted December 9, 2008 Share Posted December 9, 2008 Why would someone bother replying who does not read parenting books? Just to say you don't. What is the point? To condescend those who do? Shouldn't you just pass that one by? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trivium Academy Posted December 9, 2008 Share Posted December 9, 2008 Find your purpose as a Mom by Donna Otto The No-Cry Discipline Solution by Elizabeth Pantley and if you need creative ideas...Creative Correction by Lisa Whelchel I've read many from many perspectives and The No-Cry Discipline Solution has worked the best for us and I need to reread it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beansprouts Posted December 9, 2008 Share Posted December 9, 2008 The book I mentioned - Hold on to Your Kids - really isn't like any other parenting book I've ever read. I really don't like parenting books, because they tend to offer "how to" advice, and there are no two families alike. Dr. Neufeld is a developmental psychologist. His approach is about creating the right type of parent/child relationship, so that you are able to influence your child because they are attached to you as a parent. So much of what he says rings true for me, and for many parents I've met who have read this book. I do like the attachment philosophy, and may look this one up in the future. Thanks, Lori! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Staci in FL Posted December 9, 2008 Share Posted December 9, 2008 Age of Opportunity by Ted Tripp, How to Really Love Your Child by Ross Campbell, and Hold on to Your Kids. Age of Opportunity is supposed to be for teenagers, but I think it the perspective applies to all ages. These are my top three and I have read A LOT of parenting books. I really need to get rid of the other 30 or so that are on my bookshelf because these three are by far the best! Staci Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beansprouts Posted December 9, 2008 Share Posted December 9, 2008 (edited) Why would someone bother replying who does not read parenting books? Just to say you don't. What is the point? To condescend those who do? Shouldn't you just pass that one by? No. I have read most of the books mentioned here at one time or another. My point is simply that many of these writers present a "recipe" for raising kids, some even bully parents by using scripture, and in many (or most) cases do not understand the age-appropriate behavior or thought patterns of young children. Parrothead and I are not the only ones who have decided that we are better off steering clear of "parenting systems" and following our hearts. There is wisdom in this approach which we felt worth sharing with others who are wading through the vast sea of parenting literature. Edited December 9, 2008 by beansprouts Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dragons in the flower bed Posted December 9, 2008 Share Posted December 9, 2008 I'd rather rely on my own intuition and upbringing than some unknown person telling me how to raise my kid. My favorite parenting book, The Science of Parenting, is very much not a "how to raise your kid" type of work. It doesn't dictate what to do in a fixed system, but explains what's going on physiologically in a child's brain at different stages of development and during events that are typical in a child's life (bedtime, temper tantrums, being bullied). I greatly appreciate the importance of relying on one's own intuition. However, I have not found it necessary to avoid input from others in order to isolate my own inner voice. Quite to the contrary, I find that reading parenting books critically provides an opportunity for me to discern my feelings about situations before I'm placed in an on-the-spot parenting situation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LBC Posted December 9, 2008 Share Posted December 9, 2008 No. I have read most of the books mentioned here at one time or another. My point is simply that many of these writers present a "recipe" for raising kids, some even bully parents by using scripture, and in many (or most) cases do not understand the age-appropriate behavior or thought patterns of young children. Parrothead and I are not the only ones who have decided that we are better off steering clear of "parenting systems" and following our hearts. There is wisdom in this approach which we felt worth sharing with others who are wading through the vast sea of parenting literature. :iagree:Well said. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Free Indeed Posted December 9, 2008 Share Posted December 9, 2008 (edited) Don't Make Me Count to Three by Ginger Plowman Anything on No Greater Joy website http://www.nogreaterjoy.org Anything by Voddie Bauchaum. edited to add Raising Godly tomatoes- that is a great site as well. Edited December 9, 2008 by Free Indeed Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angela in ohio Posted December 9, 2008 Share Posted December 9, 2008 The Power of a Positive Mom Praise Her in the Gates Shepherding a Child's Heart The Heart of Anger (for preventing anger, not just curing it) The Hidden Art of Homemaking (a book about so much more...) A Mother's Rule of Life (different religious perspective than mine, but very helpful) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stripe Posted December 9, 2008 Share Posted December 9, 2008 Parrothead and I are not the only ones who have decided that we are better off steering clear of "parenting systems" and following our hearts. I think a lot of people read stuff that's on the same wavelength as their intuition, as a way to bolster themselves. I, for example, have never read the any books advocating "crying it out," nor do I intend to. I have a finite time on earth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dawn of ns Posted December 10, 2008 Share Posted December 10, 2008 No. I have read most of the books mentioned here at one time or another. My point is simply that many of these writers present a "recipe" for raising kids, some even bully parents by using scripture, and in many (or most) cases do not understand the age-appropriate behavior or thought patterns of young children. Parrothead and I are not the only ones who have decided that we are better off steering clear of "parenting systems" and following our hearts. There is wisdom in this approach which we felt worth sharing with others who are wading through the vast sea of parenting literature. I have to agree about most parenting books. But having said that there are parenting books that are less about presenting recipes and more giving some simple tools and wisdom for parents to examine and adapt their own skills. Kids Are Worth It! and Hold on to Your Kids, which have both been mentioned, are two of those. A good parenting bok isn't a recipre book. Instead it'll give you the tools to critically examine your parenting and appreciate your own experience. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laughing lioness Posted December 10, 2008 Share Posted December 10, 2008 I don't know if this has been mentioned yet or not- The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted December 10, 2008 Share Posted December 10, 2008 Your Baby and Child by Penelope Leach. It's so full of common sense and has an over-all gentle, non-punitive philosophy. For older children: Hold On To Your Kids, about maintaining the links as children grow. Laura Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie in Monterey Posted December 10, 2008 Share Posted December 10, 2008 This book is hands down my all time favorite and I've read so many. It is all about being an intentional parent and gives you concrete advise and examples on how to start down that path. It's my standard baby gift along with a copy of; Babywise- major score for us. This probably had the most impact as a parent of an infant. We slept and had a predictable first year with our babies. Julie in Monterey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen in PA Posted December 10, 2008 Share Posted December 10, 2008 Raising Your Spirited Child helped me understand a lot of what I had never considered about my own personality, which has done wonders for how I perceive and interact with my kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.