S/O about blackface - explaining and rebutting on SM

[Ginevra]

I’m curious how much others here will make an effort to explain/rebutt/disagree when “friends” on social media put up posts or memes disagreeing with some incident in the news and what it means. For example, today on SM, a friend posted a meme about how Eddie Murphy once dressed up in “whiteface” and nobody lost their minds; in fact, we thought it was hilarious. Sometimes, I let things like this go because I don’t want to invest the time. (That’s probably not an exemplary admission, but this is the reality.) In this instance, I did not scroll on. I made a basic explanation that these two things are not equivalent and it has to do with the historical power imbalance between whites and blacks and also earlier uses of costuming as mockery. I do not know if he will respond, but he probably will, else another “friend” will. I don’t plan to get into a days-long debate about it and I hope it doesn’t go that way, but I’m curious how much others join these conversations vs. scroll on by. 

I don’t know...someone had to point this out to me before I understood the difference. And there’s always that quote in the back of my mind about how evil triumphs when good men do nothing. 

I also can see in my own behavior I am much more willing to disagree with “minor friends” on SM than really important friends. So clearly I am more willing to go there with people who are of minor importance and whom, if they block me or unfriend me, oh well. 

What do you do? 

[hjffkj]

I'll happily start a conversation with someone face to face over something I disagree with. But I avoid those types of conversations on social media. Mainly because that is not why I am on social media and I am not interested in having a disagreement like that with a friend over the computer.

 

[Bambam]

I believe social media is for superficial stuff and extremely superficial discussions. Rarely, very very rarely do I see any real discussions about anything. I have shared a link, but really, beyond that, I don't think it is useful as I have seen it become a childish conversation. 

[historically accurate]

 The only thing I "get into" on SM is if the claim is 100% wrong, and it is found within a 10 second google search. I will simply post the link to the correct information with one or two sentences; neither of the statements say, "You're wrong." They're more like, "NASA believes climate change is real and likely caused by man's actions. link". 

I will say, memes like the one you stated, I just hide on my FB. Approximately 3 strikes and the person is hidden for a month. I don't get into it over SM.

Edit: Right after I posted this and clicked over to FB, a meme about common core math came up on my feed. Side by side videos of a teacher explaining how to break down double digit numbers to multiply in steps (so 35 = 30+5, now multiply by 20+9) versus a person doing the line up and multiply by the bottom number (multiply by 9, add your zero, multiply by 2, add the two products). I really wanted to say, "Well, if the teacher was explaining how to do the multiplication in the right hand side, it would be just as slow as the breaking down the numbers video."  But I just passed on by since I shouldn't get into it - they are simply looking for support for their viewpoint (in this case, it's the old, "If it was good enough for me, it's good enough for them young whippersnappers!"). 

Edited September 23, 2019 by beckyjo
Added an anecdote.

[PrincessMommy]

46 minutes ago, beckyjo said:

 The only thing I "get into" on SM is if the claim is 100% wrong, and it is found within a 10 second google search. I will simply post the link to the correct information with one or two sentences; neither of the statements say, "You're wrong." They're more like, "NASA believes climate change is real and likely caused by man's actions. link". 

I will say, memes like the one you stated, I just hide on my FB. Approximately 3 strikes and the person is hidden for a month. I don't get into it over SM. 

That's about all I will do too. 

[Chris in VA]

nm. 

 

Edited September 23, 2019 by Chris in VA

[Lady Florida.]

2 hours ago, hjffkj said:

I'll happily start a conversation with someone face to face over something I disagree with. But I avoid those types of conversations on social media. Mainly because that is not why I am on social media and I am not interested in having a disagreement like that with a friend over the computer.

 

This. Plus, when you call someone out or correct them on SM you'e doing it publicly in front of all their family, friends and coworkers. Instead of changing their minds, most people get defensive and dig in when called out publicly like that. 

1 hour ago, beckyjo said:

 The only thing I "get into" on SM is if the claim is 100% wrong, and it is found within a 10 second google search. I will simply post the link to the correct information with one or two sentences; neither of the statements say, "You're wrong." They're more like, "NASA believes climate change is real and likely caused by man's actions. link". 

 

 

This is about the extent of what I do too.

16 minutes ago, Chris in VA said:

 

Oh my. Did I really just say that? I guess I need to work on some things. 

You said it out loud to us which helped you get it out of your system.The Hive can be useful that way. 🙂 

Edited September 23, 2019 by Lady Florida.

[SKL]

I've learned that it's bad etiquette to disagree with someone on their page.

Some alternatives:

• Hide the post because it offends me.
• Post my views for discussion on my own page, or on a group page we both belong to (if it fits the etiquette of said page).
• Unfollow or unfriend the person if this is a recurring theme and it bugs me.
• Ignore that post but "like" something else the person has posted that shows better judgment.

[AbcdeDooDah]

This just came up for me this morning. Not blackface, but appalling. Someone I follow on Instagram is traveling to Kenya and recounted the day so far. She irritated someone when she opened the shade on the plane. The person was "Indian(dot not feathers)"

Stunned.

I am still deciding what, if anything, to say. 

[Pawz4me]

1 hour ago, SKL said:

I've learned that it's bad etiquette to disagree with someone on their page.

Some alternatives:

• Hide the post because it offends me.
• Post my views for discussion on my own page, or on a group page we both belong to (if it fits the etiquette of said page).
• Unfollow or unfriend the person if this is a recurring theme and it bugs me.
• Ignore that post but "like" something else the person has posted that shows better judgment.

I'm a newcomer to FB, having just joined a few months ago. But the above is pretty much what I try to do/remind myself of. I try to think of a person's FB page as their own home, where they're free to be as ignorant/hypocritical/whatever as they wish. 

[hjffkj]

I learned years ago that expressing my opinions on social media places like Facebook isn't worth the mental health issues that can spring from in.

I once disagreed with my mom on something she posted. I was respectful but playful with my wording in a way that she understood the humor behind it but people outside of our family might not get it. One of her friends replied angrily and even said, 'the wrong child died.'. (referring to I should have instead one of my 2 brothers who had died in their first 2 years of life.)

After that I just decided even if the person I'm talking to can respect an online conversation not everyone can and it isn't worth it.

[Tanaqui]

53 minutes ago, AbcdeDooDah said:

This just came up for me this morning. Not blackface, but appalling. Someone I follow on Instagram is traveling to Kenya and recounted the day so far. She irritated someone when she opened the shade on the plane. The person was "Indian(dot not feathers)"

Stunned.

I am still deciding what, if anything, to say. 

 

I find the guidelines in this video helpful: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b0Ti-gkJiXc

 

[Scarlett]

I don't argue at SM.  At all.  The most I do is post 'found safe' to the many many 'missing children' posts that most people don't bother to click on and see that they were found safe 2 years ago.  

The other day I post something about homework for elementary kidis (I believe it was SWB's article) being a bad idea....and a casual friend posted that she disagreed with the article.  I didn't even bother addressing her points.  

[Momto6inIN]

1 hour ago, SKL said:

I've learned that it's bad etiquette to disagree with someone on their page.

Really? So every post on FB is a JAWM? Huh ... I did not know that.

As for the OP, I try really hard not to get into very many FB arguments, but sometimes I forget and I always regret it LOL I appreciate the *idea* of correcting someone when they post fake news or some such, and I personally am always glad when someone tells me something I've shared is factually wrong or misstaken (as long as they aren't rude about it). But how it more often plays out is the person on the receiving end feels like the person doing the correcting is a know it all and it doesn't change their mind anyway and it just solidifies in their mind how wrong the other person is. So while I like the idea of a free interchange of ideas and robust discourse, FB is generally .... not that place 😛 I follow the Hive for that kind of discussion!

[Guest]

2 hours ago, SKL said:

I've learned that it's bad etiquette to disagree with someone on their page.

Some alternatives:

• Hide the post because it offends me.
• Post my views for discussion on my own page, or on a group page we both belong to (if it fits the etiquette of said page).
• Unfollow or unfriend the person if this is a recurring theme and it bugs me.
• Ignore that post but "like" something else the person has posted that shows better judgment.

I’m not sure that’s always true. Sometimes people post things they can be certain stirs somebody’s pot. Should that always go unchallenged? 

Although I do also agree with @hjffkj that it is often not worth the IRL fallout. (And I am so sorry that person said such a horrible thing!) 

The last suggestion is pretty cool and is what I use with a specific “friend” who often posts tone-deaf or really obnoxious things. I give her a little like-induced-seratonin reward when she posts funny/sweet/reasonable things, ignoring her when she’s obnoxious. 

[DawnM]

Depends on who it is and what it is.   

One thing that bugs the snot out of me is when people post things that simply have no truth to them.  For example, a couple of years ago a meme went around of a man being burned.  It said something to the effect of this man being burned for his Christian faith and no one stopping it, and how we needed to pray for the Christians in some middle eastern country because this was happening.

In a bit of a google search, I found out the man was in some South American country and the locals were burning him for stealing.  The police stepped in and stopped it, the man was spared, and was taken to the hospital and then jail.  It had absolutely NOTHING to do with religion.

If you claim to be a (insert religious preference or political preference), do you not see how you just lost complete credibility by posting something so stupid?

However, I typically PM them instead of calling them out, but there have been times I try to nicely point out that the meme or photo is in error.

[Noreen Claire]

6 hours ago, Quill said:

What do you do? 

I deactivated my Facebook account. It was the only way to maintain a relationship with someone I love. I've lost connection with all the other people I was friends with, as well as connection to the local homeschool groups as a result. But, it was the only way.

[Garga]

30 minutes ago, Noreen Claire said:

I deactivated my Facebook account. It was the only way to maintain a relationship with someone I love. I've lost connection with all the other people I was friends with, as well as connection to the local homeschool groups as a result. But, it was the only way.

I've been wishing I had the guts to do that, but there are a few things I don't want to miss out on.

I've been thinking of making only a few people "best friends" (or something like that) because when you make them best friends, anytime they post something you get a little notification.  Then, I could read only their posts and I wouldn't have to read the other posts.  So, I could see what my parents or homeschool groups are saying, without seeing what the people that drive me nuts are saying.

Edited September 23, 2019 by Garga

[Katy]

I block third party content and that gets rid of most of the memes.  If someone is especially obnoxious about it I might say something once IF I've otherwise found them to be a reasonable person.  If not I just unfollow.  Then I can go check their page when I want to and not have to see anything else.

[hjffkj]

3 minutes ago, Garga said:

I've been wishing I had the guts to do that, but there are a few things I don't want to miss out on.

I've been thinking of making only a few people "best friends" (or something like that) because when you make them best friends, anytime they post something you get a little notification.  Then, I could read only their posts and I wouldn't have to read the other posts.  So, I could see what my parents or homeschool groups are saying, without seeing what the people that drive me nuts are saying.

You can unfollow friends on Facebook so you don't see their posts

[Garga]

I’ve tried debating with people on FB, forgetting that I’m not here on the hive  I take the time to compose my thoughts and give what I think is a well thought out answer.  

It doesn’t work out well.  

As soon as I start writing, people only see me as the enemy. They can’t accept that maybe we agree on a bunch of stuff and disagree on a few things.  They immediately paint me as completely “other” to themselves.  The hackles rise.

So...I’m a reformed FB debater.  On here, at the hive, we’ve learned how to give and take and bounce ideas back and forth.  On FB it’s not the same.  There’s an immediate affront and then the attempts at a full smack-down.  There is no exchange of ideas or questioning or considering.  Just “I’m right and you’re WRONG ALL WRONG” types of stuff.  

I wish I could actually exchange ideas on FB, but it doesn’t seem to work that way.  

Edited September 23, 2019 by Garga

[Guest]

27 minutes ago, Garga said:

I’ve tried debating with people on FB, forgetting that I’m not here on the hive  I take the time to compose my thoughts and give what I think is a well thought out answer.  

It doesn’t work out well.  

As soon as I start writing, people only see me as the enemy. They can’t accept that maybe we agree on a bunch of stuff and disagree on a few things.  They immediately paint me as completely “other” to themselves.  The hackles rise.

So...I’m a reformed FB debater.  On here, at the hive, we’ve learned how to give and take and bounce ideas back and forth.  On FB it’s not the same.  There’s an immediate affront and then the attempts at a full smack-down.  There is no exchange of ideas or questioning or considering.  Just “I’m right and you’re WRONG ALL WRONG” types of stuff.  

I wish I could actually exchange ideas on FB, but it doesn’t seem to work that way.  

You’re right; that does happen on FB. 

One of my friend’s friends, in response to my gentle explanation of why “whiteface” is not the same as “blackface” said I am “just like a Christmas turkey - full of shit!” Wow, okay...not sure what kind of turkey *that* guy eats. But there you go. No thoughtful discussion, no likelihood of anyone seeing something a new way. Just someone responding with complete jackassery. 

I’m going to hide or snooze my original friend. 

[SKL]

2 hours ago, Quill said:

I’m not sure that’s always true. Sometimes people post things they can be certain stirs somebody’s pot. Should that always go unchallenged? 

Although I do also agree with @hjffkj that it is often not worth the IRL fallout. (And I am so sorry that person said such a horrible thing!) 

The last suggestion is pretty cool and is what I use with a specific “friend” who often posts tone-deaf or really obnoxious things. I give her a little like-induced-seratonin reward when she posts funny/sweet/reasonable things, ignoring her when she’s obnoxious. 

Pretty much, it is especially the pot-stirring posts that should be ignored.  🙂  The person obviously posted it to get you riled up, so don't give him/her the satisfaction.

Once a "friend" posted a video about an offensive incident and stated "the saddest part is that nobody in the vicinity said anything about it - just stood there and let it happen."  The truth was that multiple onlookers did stand up for the victim.  Since it bugs me when outright lies are used to rile people up, I mildly corrected that.  Bad idea.  Truth was never the point.  I ended up unfriending the person.

[Guest]

5 minutes ago, SKL said:

Pretty much, it is especially the pot-stirring posts that should be ignored.  🙂  The person obviously posted it to get you riled up, so don't give him/her the satisfaction.

Once a "friend" posted a video about an offensive incident and stated "the saddest part is that nobody in the vicinity said anything about it - just stood there and let it happen."  The truth was that multiple onlookers did stand up for the victim.  Since it bugs me when outright lies are used to rile people up, I mildly corrected that.  Bad idea.  Truth was never the point.  I ended up unfriending the person.

I think I need to write this on a sticky and stick it to my desk to remind myself. 

[Garga]

7 minutes ago, Quill said:

You’re right; that does happen on FB. 

One of my friend’s friends, in response to my gentle explanation of why “whiteface” is not the same as “blackface” said I am “just like a Christmas turkey - full of shit!” Wow, okay...not sure what kind of turkey *that* guy eats. But there you go. No thoughtful discussion, no likelihood of anyone seeing something a new way. Just someone responding with complete jackassery. 

I’m going to hide or snooze my original friend. 

Yup.  I’ve had my share of “you’re just like a Christmas turkey” responses.  

6 minutes ago, SKL said:

Pretty much, it is especially the pot-stirring posts that should be ignored.  🙂  The person obviously posted it to get you riled up, so don't give him/her the satisfaction.

Once a "friend" posted a video about an offensive incident and stated "the saddest part is that nobody in the vicinity said anything about it - just stood there and let it happen."  The truth was that multiple onlookers did stand up for the victim.  Since it bugs me when outright lies are used to rile people up, I mildly corrected that.  Bad idea.  Truth was never the point.  I ended up unfriending the person.

Yup.  I have one friend who is actually highly intelligent, but insists on posting memes with glaring logical fallacies in them.  There’s NO WAY he’s not seeing the fallacy in the meme he’s posting. I have come to the conclusion that he’s fully aware of the fallacies, but knows that enough people don’t know how to spot them and will be swayed by them, that he posts them anyway.  He’s using the fallacies to make his points to people who won’t know better.  I snooze him every 31 days.  

[Scarlett]

41 minutes ago, Quill said:

You’re right; that does happen on FB. 

One of my friend’s friends, in response to my gentle explanation of why “whiteface” is not the same as “blackface” said I am “just like a Christmas turkey - full of shit!” Wow, okay...not sure what kind of turkey *that* guy eats. But there you go. No thoughtful discussion, no likelihood of anyone seeing something a new way. Just someone responding with complete jackassery. 

I’m going to hide or snooze my original friend. 

We need a shocked emoji for times like this.

[SKL]

Christmas turkey full of shit ... I would have died laughing, but that's probably just my sick sense of humor.  😛

One thing that helps me is the option to hide all content from whoever the original meme came from.  So suppose my friend is an avid reader and sharer of a page called "Ban Coffee" and their anti-coffee memes make me wanna spit.  Well I can hide all content from "Ban Coffee" and that's that.  After maybe 20 such sites have been hidden from my feed, it gets a lot more sane, even without having to unfollow my moderately anti-coffee friends.

(This also works to hide posts from friends-of-friends who are jerks.)

Edited September 23, 2019 by SKL

[TCB]

1 hour ago, Quill said:

You’re right; that does happen on FB. 

One of my friend’s friends, in response to my gentle explanation of why “whiteface” is not the same as “blackface” said I am “just like a Christmas turkey - full of shit!” Wow, okay...not sure what kind of turkey *that* guy eats. But there you go. No thoughtful discussion, no likelihood of anyone seeing something a new way. Just someone responding with complete jackassery. 

I’m going to hide or snooze my original friend. 

I have a lot of gun enthusiast friends and they are always post loads of extreme pro-gun stuff. I almost always ignore it, and if they are particularly  horrendous I snooze or unfollow them. One time a friend posted something with some completely false statistics about Switzerland. I wasn't aggressive or anything but just pointed out a couple of things on the post that weren't factual. One of his other friends got on their and told him to block the "troll libtard". I couldn't believe someone would be so aggressive to someone they didn't know. Fortunately my friend got on there and posted that we didn't agree but that was ok and we were friends.

[Guest]

44 minutes ago, Thatboyofmine said:

After reading this thread and getting really irritated about the interactions y’all have had, I think I’ll just start unfriending people who continually post inflammatory or false crap.   I usually try to ignore it, unfollow, or block the original page, but do I really need those people in my life??  Nope.  

I don’t even know quill irl, and I want to go to that person and defend her. 🥊🥊🦃

Awww, thanks! 

I’m open to a friend request if you want to PM me. I am FB friends with a hand-full of WTMers. Some I know IRL; others, just cyberspace. 

P.S. - Not so you can go yell at people who say stupid things at me, though, lol. Just for friendliness sake. 

[marbel]

If someone posts a meme or article I find outrageous/untruthful/harmful, I block that site so I don't see anything else from it.  If someone continually posts stuff like that, I will unfollow them, unless it's a family member in which case I scroll on by because I don't want to miss the baby and puppy pics. 

I don't say anything on facebook ever. I have several relatives who post stupid stuff and I have seen people engage them; I have never, ever seen anyone back down from being educated, no matter how politely someone does it.. Who said above correcting people on their own page/wall puts them on the defensive? This is what I see. I don't want to be the cause of someone digging in more.  

I find it is very rare the someone changes their opinion thanks to a public facebook exchange. Like, never seen it.

[Guest]

20 minutes ago, marbel said:

If someone posts a meme or article I find outrageous/untruthful/harmful, I block that site so I don't see anything else from it.  If someone continually posts stuff like that, I will unfollow them, unless it's a family member in which case I scroll on by because I don't want to miss the baby and puppy pics. 

I don't say anything on facebook ever. I have several relatives who post stupid stuff and I have seen people engage them; I have never, ever seen anyone back down from being educated, no matter how politely someone does it.. Who said above correcting people on their own page/wall puts them on the defensive? This is what I see. I don't want to be the cause of someone digging in more.  

I find it is very rare the someone changes their opinion thanks to a public facebook exchange. Like, never seen it.

IME, it is friends-of-friends most likely to be totally salty. I guess it’s that anonymity factor - they don’t know me and have no need to retain any kind of relationship with me, so they’ll be just as salty (or even completely irrational) as they want to be. 

 

[Jentrovert]

When I was on fb, I rarely posted. The whole thing just became so contrary to my personality. Over a year ago (I think, not sure exactly how long) I deactivated my account. I intended to just take a break, but have never gone back. I didn't realize how much drama I was absorbing. (And the majority of my fb friends were people who are not involved in politics at all. So it wasn't even big political or social issues, just everyday drama.) I find it easier to tolerate people irl when I'm not seeing their fb. I also realized that, although I did miss the homeschooling specific things at first and I occasionally miss an interesting event, it is a lot easier to focus on the things I need to get done when I don't have so much info swirling around in my head.

But to answer the original question, no I wouldn't engage with anything. People aren't there to learn anything. They're there to make themselves look good, stir up drama, or make money. Or all three.

ETA: I should add that I realize the above doesn't apply to everyone on fb! It just seems like the majority, to me. 😁

Edited September 23, 2019 by Jentrovert
Clarifying

[Farrar]

I link Snopes on totally false stuff from anyone. No comment except maybe something like, "Actually, Snopes says that doesn't work," or, "I wondered about that too, but apparently it's not correct."

I point out if a meme or article is coming from a source known to be generally fake, usually by linking something about it. For awhile, I had an article about the horror that is David Avocado Wolfe that I was constantly posting. No comment, just the article. I'm sure people were pissed at me over it, but I was got so sick of that crap.

Then we get to more of a gray area. I HAVE had actual productive conversations on my FB about hard issues. But mostly with people I trust, whose are also curating their friend lists a lot. So disagreements, but not wild ones.

If it's a close friend, I'll say something. If it's an acquaintance, I'll generally stay out of it.

I don't have any close friends who are constantly posting stuff that is fake or that I'm diametrically opposed to. I have a few family members who occasionally do. I have just unfriended or unfollowed the people who do it a lot. I know this is how bubbles are made, but I don't know what the alternative is. By some miracle, my family members who occasionally post things on the other end of the spectrum from me do not seem to have unfollowed ME. I don't post constantly about politics, but I do post something at least 1-2x per week. They never comment, just like I don't comment on their (much more occasional) political posts either.

[Selkie]

I don't follow/am not friends with anyone on social media that I actually know IRL. I use it solely so I can be in groups that interest me. So I'm only seeing things on Facebook that I care about, like animal rescue and houseplants and Catahoula dogs and whole food plant based recipes and equine hoof care. No politics, no drama - it's great!

[Guest]

I should say - I do really like FB. So many times I have found out about someone going through something, or about a death, on FB. I’m not a big social connector otherwise and I know how people like me can easily become out of the loop if not on SM. When my former boss died, I found out on FB. His son was so touched that I came to the funeral. Things like that. It also helps me have a thread socially when I see people IRL that I don’t otherwise keep in close touch with; i.e., “ So, I see you got a new mountain bike and have been riding all over the state! How fun!” Or, “I saw your son made the LAX team! Good for him!” 

And the groups I’m in are awesome. 

Normally, I do curate my feed to cut out the nonsense I see. I trimmed up the bushes pretty hard in the last election season because, who needs that? So, I guess I may have to do that again. And I have snoozed certain people because they post stuff that makes me really want to disagree and it is NOT WORTH my time to waste disagreeing. But it was nagging me, this whole thing of just ignoring someone’s wrong-headed memes. But I think it’s true; that’s just not a place where people go to have their eyes opened to a blind spot. 

[Guest]

2 hours ago, Farrar said:

I link Snopes on totally false stuff from anyone. No comment except maybe something like, "Actually, Snopes says that doesn't work," or, "I wondered about that too, but apparently it's not correct."

I point out if a meme or article is coming from a source known to be generally fake, usually by linking something about it. For awhile, I had an article about the horror that is David Avocado Wolfe that I was constantly posting. No comment, just the article. I'm sure people were pissed at me over it, but I was got so sick of that crap.

Then we get to more of a gray area. I HAVE had actual productive conversations on my FB about hard issues. But mostly with people I trust, whose are also curating their friend lists a lot. So disagreements, but not wild ones.

If it's a close friend, I'll say something. If it's an acquaintance, I'll generally stay out of it.

I don't have any close friends who are constantly posting stuff that is fake or that I'm diametrically opposed to. I have a few family members who occasionally do. I have just unfriended or unfollowed the people who do it a lot. I know this is how bubbles are made, but I don't know what the alternative is. By some miracle, my family members who occasionally post things on the other end of the spectrum from me do not seem to have unfollowed ME. I don't post constantly about politics, but I do post something at least 1-2x per week. They never comment, just like I don't comment on their (much more occasional) political posts either.

One time, when I tried to correct someone’s factual error with a Snopes link, they hauled out stuff about how Snopes is a failed liberal blogger or whatever. 🙄 I was like, well, hate on Snopes if you want to. But what you just posted is totally false. 

[Xahm]

I occasionally point out if something is wrong or out of date if I respect the poster and think it was just a mistake. A couple of times I've sent PMs to people I think are coming across as offensive because, despite being nice people, they think something is funny that is actually awful. Those people either cleaned things up or maybe blocked me. I don't really care since the ball was in their court. I also put my husband's grandmother on mute, as did my husband. She posts tons of illogical, angry political memes full of language she would never use herself. The last time we were together she asked if we had seen something she put on Facebook. Dh told her we had blocked her. She thought he was joking. I almost choked. 

[SKL]

I sometimes see political stuff I don't want on fb, but my more common annoyances are individuals' pet projects e.g. selling hemp based potions ... posting many times per day about how wonderful or how awful her kids are ... and the ever exciting "here is what I'm eating right now."  Also the "profound" self-discovery posts of young adults.  And the never-ending sighs of people who are thoroughly exhausted but feel a need to start a big new project every other day.  For these reasons, I have unfollowed some perfectly nice people, because I can't deal with all that chatter all day every day.  As it is I can barely get to my work some days.

[Farrar]

54 minutes ago, Quill said:

One time, when I tried to correct someone’s factual error with a Snopes link, they hauled out stuff about how Snopes is a failed liberal blogger or whatever. 🙄 I was like, well, hate on Snopes if you want to. But what you just posted is totally false. 

I won’t/don’t have anyone who’s on the “facts are a liberal conspiracy” level on my feed.

Honestly, for sanity’s sake, people who think facts are against them aren’t people I need in my life.

[Jentrovert]

2 hours ago, Selkie said:

I don't follow/am not friends with anyone on social media that I actually know IRL. I use it solely so I can be in groups that interest me. So I'm only seeing things on Facebook that I care about, like animal rescue and houseplants and Catahoula dogs and whole food plant based recipes and equine hoof care. No politics, no drama - it's great!

If I ever join again, this is what I'm doing. 

[Bluegoat]

On 9/23/2019 at 8:04 AM, Quill said:

I’m curious how much others here will make an effort to explain/rebutt/disagree when “friends” on social media put up posts or memes disagreeing with some incident in the news and what it means. For example, today on SM, a friend posted a meme about how Eddie Murphy once dressed up in “whiteface” and nobody lost their minds; in fact, we thought it was hilarious. Sometimes, I let things like this go because I don’t want to invest the time. (That’s probably not an exemplary admission, but this is the reality.) In this instance, I did not scroll on. I made a basic explanation that these two things are not equivalent and it has to do with the historical power imbalance between whites and blacks and also earlier uses of costuming as mockery. I do not know if he will respond, but he probably will, else another “friend” will. I don’t plan to get into a days-long debate about it and I hope it doesn’t go that way, but I’m curious how much others join these conversations vs. scroll on by. 

I don’t know...someone had to point this out to me before I understood the difference. And there’s always that quote in the back of my mind about how evil triumphs when good men do nothing. 

I also can see in my own behavior I am much more willing to disagree with “minor friends” on SM than really important friends. So clearly I am more willing to go there with people who are of minor importance and whom, if they block me or unfriend me, oh well. 

What do you do? 

 

I think for me it depends on a lot of things.  A big one is whether the medium is really useful for what I have to say.  FB can be too choppy for some discussions.  Another is if there is factual stuff involved I am a lot more likely to say something.  Or, is the conversation likely to be enlightening, or just a pile-on.  The latter is usually not good, whichever way the pile on goes.  Is there much chance I will lose my temper.

As an aside, the Murphy example is interesting, because it was actually a spoof on a book about a white man who did the same thing, it's a cvil right classic in investigative journalism, and I don't think Murphy was being particularly critical of the book.  So I wouldn't say it's unrelated.

[Lady Florida.]

14 hours ago, Farrar said:

I won’t/don’t have anyone who’s on the “facts are a liberal conspiracy” level on my feed.

Honestly, for sanity’s sake, people who think facts are against them aren’t people I need in my life.

The people I know who feel that way about Snopes are mostly some of dh's relatives and I can't really unfriend them. However, they're not saying facts are a liberal conspiracy. They question the validity of Snopes on the grounds that the information is being manipulated to favor liberals. I usually try to send them to a neutral site if I can find one because they either believe Snopes takes things out of context or doesn't tell the full story.

[Momto6inIN]

15 hours ago, SKL said:

 Also the "profound" self-discovery posts of young adults. 

Oh my word, yes! Sometimes my eyes roll so hard I see the back of my head 🙄 I am sooooooo glad Facebook wasn't around when I was a teen to record my angst ridden poetry and profound quotations for posterity