klmama Posted June 30, 2019 Share Posted June 30, 2019 Do you know someone who you think would be a perfect spouse for your dc... someday? Just curious. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted June 30, 2019 Share Posted June 30, 2019 I have met a few young men who I thought would be perfect for my daughter, only to find out later that they wouldn't be so great for her after all. I was glad that I hadn't done anything to try to make it happen. (Not that I could, and I'm not implying that's what you're suggesting!) So, I stopped even thinking about it. 🙂 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 30, 2019 Share Posted June 30, 2019 Well, my 22yo dd still dates the homeschooled boy I wished would be a match way back when they were like 12/13. So, I think a marriage is not terribly far off there. I did really adore ds19s high school gf; I am still friends with her on FB and I often think, “Man....she’s premium.” He wanted to be a free agent in college, though, so they broke up. I doubt they will get back together, but I still fantasize about it a little. I don’t have any mental matches for ds14. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lynn Posted June 30, 2019 Share Posted June 30, 2019 My oldest was sort of dating a girl I could see my middle son with. I tried to encourage him to call her when he was single but they were always just friends and I guess the bro code. I'm and getting to know and accept his fiance more. But in general no. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted June 30, 2019 Share Posted June 30, 2019 Nope. No one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted June 30, 2019 Share Posted June 30, 2019 Interesting question. My girls are 12 and we are not there yet, LOL. There is a very cute boy that they both like a lot, and last I heard he wanted my eldest to sort of be his "more than friend," and she endures a lot of teasing about this; but I honestly think it's more likely they will be lifelong friends than a married couple. Same girl met another cute boy at zoo camp and exchanged info with him... she was very conflicted and hasn't said much to either of them since .... My youngest, I really don't know. It's hard to read her future. Her sister says nobody will ever want to marry her, LOL, but she is actually a deep and loving person on the inside. I think she needs to wait until there are boys/men who have the maturity to understand her. (She did have a crush - maybe still does - the boy is smart, athletic, and good-looking, but I've heard he is unkind, so IMO that's a no until he learns how to treat people.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted June 30, 2019 Share Posted June 30, 2019 1 hour ago, Quill said: Well, my 22yo dd still dates the homeschooled boy I wished would be a match way back when they were like 12/13. So, I think a marriage is not terribly far off there. That is so sweet. I don't at all. For one thing, I don't know many of their friends well anymore. I'm not even a hundred percent sure what gender at least one of my boys would prefer. When my boys were babies, the neighbors that we really liked also got pregnant and had a girl and I used to joke, like, ooh, one of them could literally marry the girl next door. But then they moved away because they got sick of American immigration crap and the lack of childcare options. So I don't even know them really anymore - I only occasionally see life updates via Facebook, but the girl in question also dances ballet like one of my boys, just in like, Europe, and seems lovely and tough so she was hilariously the first person I thought of. But I think it's because I don't know them anymore - I can't imagine pairing my kids with someone I do know well, if that makes any sense. It would feel too invasive, even for my thoughts! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted June 30, 2019 Share Posted June 30, 2019 I have a fantasy boy in mind for dd, but she has a bf. It is mostly because he's a handsome Christian whose mom is a dear friend. And he says "Yes, Ma'am." I'm a sucker for that. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustEm Posted June 30, 2019 Share Posted June 30, 2019 My oldest is only 10 so no. But I have a friend whose convinced that my oldest and one of her girls will get married one day. At first, I just ignored the comments but she just kept saying stuff every time we were together. So, one day I simply said, "It is highly unlikely ds has meant his future spouse, assuming he ever marries, but maybe he has. I'm not going to think about it until he is much older." She told me I ruined all her fun and never mentioned it again. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted June 30, 2019 Share Posted June 30, 2019 (edited) Well, I know someone who not only does this at very young ages, but seriously talks about it with her children, the parents of that teen and hopes that her kids will get married young and give her grandkids. this totally freaks out my kids, and the parents of any teen In the vicinity so I don’t even allow myself to think along those lines. Edited June 30, 2019 by fairfarmhand Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirty ethel rackham Posted June 30, 2019 Share Posted June 30, 2019 5 hours ago, marbel said: I have met a few young men who I thought would be perfect for my daughter, only to find out later that they wouldn't be so great for her after all. I was glad that I hadn't done anything to try to make it happen. (Not that I could, and I'm not implying that's what you're suggesting!) So, I stopped even thinking about it. 🙂 Same here. I stopped looking at things this way. Dd dated a young man that I would have loved to have in our family (still would,) but, I could see that dd wasn't meant to be with him. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KrissiK Posted June 30, 2019 Share Posted June 30, 2019 13 hours ago, klmama said: Do you know someone who you think would be a perfect spouse for your dc... someday? Just curious. I actually do. 😂😂😂😂 Funny you would mention it. They “like” each other, but are waaaay too young. If only they were 10 years older and out of college I’d be telling my boy, “Get that ring on her finger, fast, son, before she gets away.” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donna Posted June 30, 2019 Share Posted June 30, 2019 My oldest ds (23) has been dating a young lady for over two years now who is perfect for him. He was my "wild child," always living on the edge, and she has been a stabilizing force for him. We love her like one of our own. I am fairly sure marriage will happen once she finishes college next year...they have already talked about it with us. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted June 30, 2019 Share Posted June 30, 2019 I will add this - for several years my daughter went to a summer camp and it happened that we knew a few couples who had met there. So these old people used to tease my girl about meeting a husband there. (Nice teasing, not overbearing - they were so happily married and the idea delight them so much that it wasn't obnoxious at all. In case anyone is thinking it was.) Well, she did meet her (first, current) boyfriend there and they have been together for 3 years now, I think. It would not surprise me if they got married when they are done with college. I like him and will be sad if they break up. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted June 30, 2019 Share Posted June 30, 2019 I do look at the girls the same ages as my sons and think, "Could she be the one?" I don't really know the girls they know very well, so it's hard to tell. Sometimes I see something that I think would make a marriage hard, like one girl is raised in a family where it's normal to spend a lot of money all the time and have debt. My sons are raised to save, save, save and rarely spend. That might cause friction if that girl married one of my boys. However, that girl is also very driven and my boys are NOT driven. That also would cause a lot of friction. I think she'd end up hating being married to a man who isn't driven. It goes both ways--I see something in the girl that I think would be bad for my boys, and I also have to acknowledge that my boys have traits that would be bad for the girl. And that happens with every girl I see their ages--I see something that would make them a mismatch, either on her end or our end. So far, there hasn't been a girl that I've thought, "Wow! She would get along great with DS!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TechWife Posted June 30, 2019 Share Posted June 30, 2019 No. He’s far away from being mature enough to marry, so the thought hasn’t even entered my head. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Negin Posted June 30, 2019 Share Posted June 30, 2019 No. Not a single person. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WendyLady Posted June 30, 2019 Share Posted June 30, 2019 (edited) We have the cutest picture of dd18 from when she was about 18 months old. She is sitting next to our neighbor, a little boy about her age, they are both wearing cowboy hats and boots. We are a military family and have moved 6 times or so since then and so has that family. We have stayed in touch with his family over the years, though he and dd18 haven’t like been close friends or anything. His older sister is good friends with dd21. He and dd18 happen to be heading off to the same college in the fall. It would be adorable if they met at college and became friends, but I wouldn’t push her that way, though it would be great to use that photo in a wedding slideshow in about 8 years 😉 Edited June 30, 2019 by WendyLady 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wheres Toto Posted June 30, 2019 Share Posted June 30, 2019 I no longer know a lot of oldest dd's friends and people she hangs out with, but she is currently dating one of her long-term friend's cousin and seems to feel like it has long-term potential. We haven't met him yet though. The younger two are too young. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted June 30, 2019 Share Posted June 30, 2019 I have an 18 year old son and a 15 year old daughter and I just don't think about this kind of thing at all. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mumto2 Posted June 30, 2019 Share Posted June 30, 2019 I adore a couple of the girls my kids grew up with. I would love it if DS eventually married either of them......I married the boy next door so totally believe it is possible. No likely matches for Dd among the friends. I suspect we have a few years..... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaybee Posted June 30, 2019 Share Posted June 30, 2019 My dh is one of the worst in the world to do this, lol. So much so that I have to laugh, because he is generally not a matchmaker/busybody type. We talk about it sometimes, but for some reason, our kids aren't usually interested in the same prospects we are. Fancy that! 😛 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TABmom Posted July 1, 2019 Share Posted July 1, 2019 No. A few years ago, I remember a friend of a friend that kept talking about her preschool age kids marrying my friend's preschool age kids. I found it creepy and horrifying. This lady was really overboard about it though. My 9 year old dd does think she has a crush on a boy and it's been about a year. When I discovered this info, my first inclination was to freak out that "you're too young for this"! But, the boy's mom is super chill about the whole thing. (Apparently, the crush is reciprocated) and that helped me chill too. He's actually a really sweet kid and he comes from an amazing family. She would certainly have amazing inlaws. I'm hoping that marrying into our family will be a blessing to my kids future spouses. Honestly, I think she and this boy just like the idea of having someone that "likes" them. They will grow out of it soon enough. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lori D. Posted July 1, 2019 Share Posted July 1, 2019 NEVER thought about this at all while DSs were growing up, and even after they graduated high school... Until recently, with both now over 25yo, and I keep thinking of one young lady who was in one of my homeschool co-op classes who could be a good match for DS#1... I love her dearly -- and her parents and siblings are wonderful, too. (:D BUT... leaving it totally in the Lord's hands -- and just praying He brings a kind, intelligent, funny and fun woman to each DS, and at the best time for each DS. And if the young ladies each have a terrific family, that would be a lovely bonus! (:D 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy Posted July 1, 2019 Share Posted July 1, 2019 No. I do have one son who's had a thing where he loves to flirt with pretty nurses since he was a baby. I won't at all be surprised if he brings home a pretty nurse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted July 1, 2019 Share Posted July 1, 2019 When dh and I told his parents we were engaged (after not hiding the fact that we were dating), MIL sat me down and listed all the young ladies who she felt were perfect for her son. I was not on the list. We have now been happily married (for the most part) for 26 years. So no, I don’t even mentally match up my kids. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweet2ndchance Posted July 1, 2019 Share Posted July 1, 2019 16 hours ago, FuzzyCatz said: I have an 18 year old son and a 15 year old daughter and I just don't think about this kind of thing at all. Same here. I married young and while I don't regret it in and of itself, even though I have since divorced, I hope my children have plenty of time to be adults before they even think about getting married or settling down. My oldest children are 21, 19 and 18. None are in a serious enough relationship to even think about marriage and I'm so glad. When my oldest was 13/14 he was "dating" a girl and his father and I both remarried about the same time. His father had a big wedding and I had a little justice of the peace ceremony in the park with just my kids and dh's grandma present. Oldest ds told me at the time that he told his girlfriend that when he got married, he wanted a little ceremony like I had, not a big wedding like his dad had. At the time I cringed because my teenager was thinking about marriage but he's in his early 20's now, still single, has dated a few different girls over the years and has no plans to get married anytime soon and I'm happy with where he is in the romance/dating/marriage department and so is he. Second oldest son says he doesn't want to get married or have kids, which I'm fine with if that is what makes him happy but I really kinda hope he softens up and finds someone. Since he was little, he is the one that I thought could go either way in what he would look for gender wise. If he's happy, I'm happy. Oldest dd has a steady boyfriend but she's pretty career focused for now. She's going to start college in the fall, don't know about her boyfriend. I don't think they are serious enough to be considering marriage yet though. All the rest of the kids are too young to really think about it yet. Since I was pressured to marry my first husband by family, I want nothing to do with choosing or hoping for a certain spouse for my children so that probably has a lot to do with why I don't think about it at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy Posted July 1, 2019 Share Posted July 1, 2019 2 hours ago, Jean in Newcastle said: When dh and I told his parents we were engaged (after not hiding the fact that we were dating), MIL sat me down and listed all the young ladies who she felt were perfect for her son. I was not on the list. We have now been happily married (for the most part) for 26 years. So no, I don’t even mentally match up my kids. She sounds like a real treat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted July 1, 2019 Share Posted July 1, 2019 31 minutes ago, Katy said: She sounds like a real treat. That was just the tip of the iceberg. . . But we had made our peace by the time she died. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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