I made an appointment to euthanize our dog

[BlsdMama]

Somebody tell me this is the right thing to do because it feels awful.

We have NEVER had to put an animal down since we've been married and we're not really "animal" people.  We're fairly stoic about the animals, imo, comparatively-ish.  😞  We love the animals but we recognize they're animals.

I cried when calling the vet.
I cried when telling the husband.
I hid crying when telling the kids.

This is horrible.

Legend is about eleven.  We got him for our oldest dd when she was 11-12.  He's just a fixture - that dog that stood between us and certain death from the mailman, the UPS man, the FedEx man...
He has been a royal pain in my side with his protectiveness.  He has chewed every round doorknob SQUARE in between our bedroom and the laundry so he can let himself in during a thunderstorm, but ONLY during thunderstorms.  And he was so unbelievably beautiful and trustworthy for 11 years.

He's a mess.  He looks a mess.  We can't get rid of the mange.  We do, then it comes back. Now he has it on his face, it's miserable.  We were told this is an immune issue.  He has a growth.  He has slowed down unbelievably in the past 3-4 weeks.  He looks tired all the time.  He rarely wants to go out to the bathroom now, just sleep.  He's losing so much weight.  We switched to soft food thinking maybe he could handle that better - he ate, but he doesn't put on weight.  He was 110 in his prime.  I'll bet he is 80 now - you can't see his ribs but he used to have so much muscle!

This is awful.

I will NEVER get another dog and go through this again.  And I'm not going to lie, the whole watching suffering, euthanasia thing is such a hard, emotional thing for me to traverse anyway.
I keep praying he'll just die tonight in his sleep.

Edited April 25, 2019 by BlsdMama

[PeterPan]

Oh mercy it's definitely a kindness to end his pain. He's an animal. I don't know who all is going, but it will be sad and you'll cry. I think it would be MORE sad to let him suffer than to let him go and feel your loss. You can enough about his suffering that you value his peace more than your own.

Do you have nice pictures of him with you guys?

[Garga]

Oh sweetheart, this is so sad.  😞  I’ve been there so many times with my kitties.  Not a single one died quietly in his or her sleep. I had to take them all to be put down. Six so far.  

It hurts soooo much.

Remember:  dogs have shorter lifespans than humans, so this day was inevitable: you couldn’t have prevented this day from coming.  The life that Legend had was amazing.  He was happy probably every single day of his life.  He loved and was loved. You protected him and he protected you.  He is not scared of death the way a human would be if the human was sick, so he is not feeling fear. It is a mercy to let him go.

All of us who have been in your place right now know that this hurts a lot.  I am so so sorry.  

[linders]

It's the right thing to do.

And in a few weeks or months or a year, all those good memories will overwhelm this traumatic time, and you will start looking around for a new dog. Not a replacement, no dog could replace Legend. But a companion who is there adding all those quirky moments like square doorknobs to your lives. I know, I've gone through this twice.

[mom@shiloh]

We had to put a dog down once. She had a brain tumor. 

Maybe someone else who has done it will offer some advice, but when we did it we thought it would be good to be there when they put her down. It felt disloyal to let her go through that alone and we had our kids there too. If we had to do it again, I wouldn't do that. We would just say good-bye and not witness it.

I'm sorry. It's hard. 

Edited April 25, 2019 by mom@shiloh

[May]

I’m so sorry😕 We had to put 2 dogs down, it was a hard decision but the right one🌺

[Pawz4me]

It sounds as if it's time.

I'm sorry. It's hard no matter how many times you've had to make the decision and go through it. I can't say for sure whether the first time is harder or not. Every single one seems uniquely hard to me. I think every pet owner hopes for their pet to go quietly and peacefully in their sleep. It rarely happens.

As far as staying or not -- I do think that's an individual decision, although I would encourage you (or your DH--someone he knows and loves) to stay with him until the sedative takes effect. The right way to do euthanasia is for the vet to give the pet a heavy dose of a sedative before administering the euthanasia drug. The sedative usually takes just a few minutes to take effect, and when it does I don't believe a pet is aware of whether their person is right there with them or not. I've always chosen to stay, but IMO it's not wrong if you don't want (or don't think you can handle) that final injection being the last memory of your pet.

Hugs.

Edited April 25, 2019 by Pawz4me

[ktgrok]

Oh honey, it is hard saying goodbye! And harder when you have to make that decision, even though it is the right decision. Honestly, it is incredibly rare to have a dog just go in their sleep. Most of the time, if they are not going to suffer needlessly, they need our help crossing over. He's dying, and you can't save him, but you can make dying easier on him. That is what you are doing, making his passing easier, because you can't save him. He wouldn't let you suffer if he could help it, and you are returning that loyalty. 

As for timing...I firmly believe better to do it a few days or weeks too soon than a single day too late..once they are hurting badly. He doesn't have grandchildren to see for the last time, stories of his youth to pass on to anyone, etc. There is nothing he will miss out on by leaving this world a little sooner, other than pain and discomfort. 

As others said, the process should have two steps, many choose to stay for that first sedative but not the final injection. Others (me) need the closure of being there the whole time. 

And yes, it hurts terribly to lose a pet. So much. But they give so much joy in return that the pain is worth it. 

If it will help your children, and is compatible with your beliefs, the book Dog Heaven by Cynthia Rylant was incredibly helpful for my family after we lost our last dog. I heard about it here, and it made a huge huge difference for my kids, especially my sensitive one. It is available in kindle format so you can have it instantly to read on your phone, tablet, etc if need be. 

Hugs. 

 

[MaBelle]

You are doing the right thing but it's so hard.  I would add that someone he loves stay with him while it's being done.  Dogs don't like to go to the vet and he'll be stressed.  Stay with him, hold him, stay calm yourself and love him until the end.

Edited April 25, 2019 by MaBelle

[Lady Florida.]

I'm so sorry. It's such a difficult decision to make and the whole process is heartbreaking. (((hugs)))

I've made that decision too many times to think about but dogs and cats bring so much to my life that I can't keep from having pets.

[City Mouse]

Yes, it is hard. 5 years ago we had to put down our 18yr old cat, and I still tear up every once in a while. 

[Catwoman]

3 hours ago, Pawz4me said:

It sounds as if it's time.

I'm sorry. It's hard no matter how many times you've had to make the decision and go through it. I can't say for sure whether the first time is harder or not. Every single one seems uniquely hard to me. I think every pet owner hopes for their pet to go quietly and peacefully in their sleep. It rarely happens.

As far as staying or not -- I do think that's an individual decision, although I would encourage you (or your DH--someone he knows and loves) to stay with him until the sedative takes effect. The right way to do euthanasia is for the vet to give the pet a heavy dose of a sedative before administering the euthanasia drug. The sedative usually takes just a few minutes to take effect, and when it does I don't believe a pet is aware of whether their person is right there with them or not. I've always chosen to stay, but IMO it's not wrong if you don't want (or don't think you can handle) that final injection being the last memory of your pet.

Hugs.

 

I agree. 

I would absolutely stay with him. I wouldn’t abandon a family member and leave him to die alone, and my pets are family members. I would want him to feel safe and comforted in my arms, so he wasn’t scared in his final moments. 

I know it’s hard to stay and be there for that injection, but we have done it many times. It never gets easier to be there, but at that moment, it’s not about what’s more comfortable for us; it’s about what’s more comfortable for our pets. After all those years of love and loyalty, we feel we owe it to them.

Edited April 25, 2019 by Catwoman

[J-rap]

I'm so sorry, and I know exactly how you're feeling.  It's heart wrenching.  We've had to do it three times now, and it almost makes me never, ever want to become close to a pet again.  But of course, you have to balance the pain of these last few months and this excruciating decision with all of the previous times -- years -- you've been fortunate enough to have had with him.  I doubt it ever feels right, even when it is.  (And in your situation, it certainly does seem like the right decision.)

I will warn you that you'll likely still question whether you did the right thing even weeks or months afterward.  But over time, you WILL realize you made a sensible and loving decision, and your grief will lessen and be overshadowed by warm, beautiful memories.

 

[alisoncooks]

It's super hard. ((Hugs))

I'm someone who wasn't a dog person until I had my dog. After losing him, I don't think I will ever have another pet. There are several reasons (time/finances/travel) but partially because it was so very hard to put him down. 

[Catwoman]

I’m praying for you and your family and your sweet dog today, Blsdmama. I’m so sorry. 😞

[hornblower]

It is a tragedy of the human condition that when we allow ourselves to love deeply, we invite grief in as well.  IMO, it never stops being hard, and never stops being worth it. 

I let one of mine go (at home, peacefully) a few weeks ago and I have cried a lot. I know from past experience that like any grief, it's sharp at the beginning but gradually the waves are smaller and more infrequent.  Big hugs.

Run free, Legend.

 

[hippiemamato3]

Oh please please stay with him when he is put down. He will look for you. Your sadness is a small price to pay to be there with him when he goes. Please don't leave him alone. 

[Jean in Newcastle]

You can wait for them to give the animal a sedative and then leave for the actual euthanasia med.  The sedative will lessen their anxiety and might even put them to sleep (actual sleep) before the dying process begins.  We just did this for another dog a week ago. 

Everyone is different but the sadness of saying goodbye has never stopped me from the joy of having pets. 

[MercyA]

I am so very sorry.

Agreeing with Katie that a little too early is better than a day too late. It sounds as though it is time. 

Other than the usual stress of being at the vet, my dog's actual passing was peaceful. He just fell asleep, and it was quick. Even though I knew that it was the right thing to do and that I probably should have done it sooner, I still experienced regret and questioned my decision. That is normal. 

The grief was overwhelming at first, but time will help. 

Yes, please stay with him, or have your husband stay with him. He deserves that.

If you're so inclined, you might want to read Romans 8:18-25 and be encouraged that all creation--including, I believe, our beloved animal companions--will be redeemed and resurrected. 

Huge hugs.

[Tanaqui]

If the vet didn't think this was the right thing to do, they'd try to talk you out of it. You've taken good care of him until now, and now it's time to help him rest.

[ktgrok]

16 minutes ago, Tanaqui said:

If the vet didn't think this was the right thing to do, they'd try to talk you out of it. You've taken good care of him until now, and now it's time to help him rest.

This is very true. 

Also, in 20 years in animal clinics, I don't think I ever saw an animal put down too soon. Often, it was done later than I personally think was kind, but never too soon. No one who loves their pet would do that if it wasn't time. Trust yourself. You know. 

[Liz CA]

We had a similar scenario with a Cane Corso mastiff. 

I sat in the laundry room with him the night before the euthanization was scheduled and prayed he would die naturally. God was merciful and heard my prayer. Ted died at 1:17am with his head on my lap. The pain never completely goes away but just morphs into a bittersweet memory.

If you like having a dog, I would say try to not let the fear of losing them prevent you from the joy of having them.

[J-rap]

39 minutes ago, Tanaqui said:

If the vet didn't think this was the right thing to do, they'd try to talk you out of it. You've taken good care of him until now, and now it's time to help him rest.

Beautifully said.

[HollyDay]

You have my deepest sympathies.  We went through this with our very much loved Golden Retriever, Shiloh, a few years ago when he was almost 15.  We got him when he was just a few weeks old and my youngest was just turning 1 year.  He was with us for every move, every holiday, every hurricane, every birthday.  He sat under the table when we homeschooled.  Youngest learned to read by reading her beginner books to him.  He slept in someone's bed most nights (taking turns so none of us would feel left out).  He had adenocarcinoma and lived 3 months after diagnosis.  It was the hardest thing I have ever done.  The vet was very kind to both Shiloh and us.  But, it was the hardest thing I've ever done.  It was the right thing to do.  The vet looked me right in the eye, laid her hand on my shoulder and said to me that it was really the only thing I could do at that point.  Medications had stopped working.  I promised that wonderful dog when he was a puppy and we were in the car bringing him home for the first time, that I would always take care of him do my best by him.  He would be safe and loved with me.  I kept that promise.

Just over a year later, dh bought another Golden.  I was honestly not ready.  But, dc and dh were ready.  The new dog is now 4 years old and a great addition to the family and we love him very much.  He is totally different from Shiloh.  The two dogs could not be more different.  Both wonderful, both loveable, but different personalities. 

Take your time to grieve.  And consider sometime down the line, opening your heart to another bundle of fur or an older dog who needs a loving home. 

[datgh]

I so feel for you. I had to take my sweet golden a few years ago. As hard as it was, I was so glad I was with her to the very end. The vet was great and gave me the last appointment of the day and came out to the car. We have a mini van so I climbed in the back with her and wrapped her in my arms. Her passing was very peaceful. She had cancer and I knew she was suffering. I hope your vet will come out to your car so you don't have to go in.  I also paid in advance so I didn't have to deal with the bill afterwards.

 

[ktgrok]

7 hours ago, datgh said:

I so feel for you. I had to take my sweet golden a few years ago. As hard as it was, I was so glad I was with her to the very end. The vet was great and gave me the last appointment of the day and came out to the car. We have a mini van so I climbed in the back with her and wrapped her in my arms. Her passing was very peaceful. She had cancer and I knew she was suffering. I hope your vet will come out to your car so you don't have to go in.  I also paid in advance so I didn't have to deal with the bill afterwards.

 

Yes, many places will let you pay first, or at the very least come into the room to do the payment part. Places where you are a long standing client may just bill you. 

Also, some dogs actually like the veterinary office, and are not stressed at all, just putting that out there. they enjoy getting pets from all the staff. I've never really seen a dog particularly upset by being at the vet for euthanasia, usually by that point they don't care. But of course, maybe the ones that are particularly stressed by the vet don't come in and use a mobile vet, so that could be selection bias. 

And that is another option, there are some mobile vets that do just euthanasias, actually, and will come out to you for it. 

[mominco]

Hugs

[Kanin]

I'm very sorry. I felt the same way about our dog. ❤️ 

[Terabith]

I had to put my 19 year old cat to sleep this October.  I really regret not getting the mobile vet to come to our house and do it, because she was stressed by going to the vet.  But we were in a situation where we didn't know for sure that we were going to put her to sleep or if there was more we could do for her.