Who would name their child Abcde? Good grief

[KungFuPanda]

9 minutes ago, Faith-manor said:

I understand where you are coming from, but we also don't know where our kids will land in life. In this global economy, many of our kids will also end up. More than one of my kids is going to end up living abroad so they are going to spend their entire lives spelling their names and teaching people how to say them anyway.  Our Danish last name is CONSTANTLY misspelled here. Since I married and took Dh's last name, I have spent 30 years telling people how to spell it, a six letter surname.

We increasingly live in a diverse society with people from a plethora of heritages. I have a ridiculously common English name, one that no one would think odd, and I have to spell it everywhere I go. Everywhere. Our eldest daughter has a five letter NOT difficult or unique name at all. She has to spell it. Everyone wants to put a "y" in it even though it is spelled according to the English phonetic rules with an "i". Eldest boy has another ridiculously normal name meaning Christ follower, but he always has to spell it too. The "ph" is considered weird these days I guess even though it is the standard English spelling, very common. My cousin Stephan always, always, always has to spell it because everyone goes for Steven, and his name isn't even pronounced with a 'v" when he introduces himself. He's 48, and has never lived anywhere that he hasn't had to train people how to spell and say his name.

I get it. I had a maiden name that nobody ever got wrong. In the 25 years I’ve been married I have a name that most people misspell even though it’s spelled exactly how it sounds. Sometimes people DO get it right and that’s nice. I still think there’s a big difference between having a last name you have to spell some, or even most, of the time and having a first name that nobody on the planet is going to get right ever. That would be incessant and the odds of the kid being happy about it are slim.

[maize]

1 hour ago, City Mouse said:

I have been repeating this song in my head since the thread started. 😁

I'm surprised I haven't heard of anyone naming their child Elemenope 🙂

[Stacia]

I think the child is 3yo or 4yo? (I'm not sure because I've seen only headlines about it & haven't read the articles.) I am guessing most of her peers at this point aren't mocking her name because they know it by sound/speaking & haven't learned the spelling yet. And, at this age, even if they knew the spelling, they might not be well-versed enough in standard English spelling rules to recognize that this one is different. So, in a few years, if the kids start mocking her for the name, where have they learned that? Where have they learned to mock the different? To be a spelling snob or a member of the name police who looks down on someone's name or how that name is spelled?

Her peers will be learning this behavior from you. The people who are adults. And, yet, who are still childish enough to mock others.

What if, instead, the adults tried learning tolerance? Having curiosity? Having acceptance? Being kind? Might that change the course of this child's life in respect to her peers?

The arguments about how hard it is to spell her name are silly. If you know the English alphabet, it really is a very simple name to spell. Sure, it's hard to pronounce until you know how, but that's a minor blip. As others have said, even common names are routinely butchered in both spelling & pronunciation.

I've lived over 50 years & have never actually met another person who has my name. I don't think that has made me less of a person. I sure as heck never got some trinket with my name pre-printed on it. Again, I don't think that made me less of a person or affected my psyche. (And guess what? The thrill of personalized stuff is that you can get it personalized. I even had pencils with my name on them at some point during my childhood... because you can order personalized stuff from plenty of places.) Growing up, I moved a lot being in a military family. So, I had not only first-day-of-school name confusion, I also routinely had middle-of-the-year name confusion. Neither my first nor my last name seemed to be understandable or pronounceable to many. A teacher going through roll at the beginning of the year would often stop completely & not attempt either my first or last name. If the roll was to the point of being about mid-way through the alphabet, I would just raise my hand & say, "here" because it was a pretty sure bet that it was my name that stumped the teacher to that level. If people see my name, they often don't know how to pronounce it. If they hear my name, they often don't know how to spell it. It's ok. I'm a functioning adult regardless. It's not an albatross or a crime or anything else. It just is. I'm assuming Abcde will have a similar time. If others could just refrain from mockery & judgement, there would never be an issue in the first place.

Edited December 1, 2018 by Stacia

[Stacia]

4 minutes ago, happysmileylady said:

But wishing that people weren’t judgemental won’t poof judgemental people out of existence.  So why would anyone want to make their kid a more obvious target?  

Because maybe some people have more hope in humanity. Maybe some people aren't so cynical. Maybe some people wouldn't think to mock others so it may not occur to them that others would happily mock them.

Change can be made. I can be made now. But, imo, it needs to start with the judgemental adults who feel that mocking & berating the parents is an ok behavior. It's not.

[Teaching3bears]

1 hour ago, Jean in Newcastle said:

But it is most common in Hawaii, which is not predominantly white. 

Editing to add a link:  https://www.vocativ.com/culture/society/people-named-abcde/index.html

 

Thank you!  So this is possibly a Hawaiian name.  I did think that if there were 300 or so females with that name, and not Abcdef or Abc or Abcdefg that it had to come from a particular community or culture.  It does not seem that the parents made the name up or that they were naming their child after the alphabet.  

 

 

[KidsHappen]

20 hours ago, Æthelthryth the Texan said:

This thread is making me want a new User name. I need something exciting! With pizazz. 

 

I love the new name. We are currently watching, "The Last Kingdom" so it is especially timely to me.

Edited December 1, 2018 by KidsHappen
correct name of show

[maize]

40 minutes ago, Teaching3bears said:

 

Thank you!  So this is possibly a Hawaiian name.  I did think that if there were 300 or so females with that name, and not Abcdef or Abc or Abcdefg that it had to come from a particular community or culture.  It does not seem that the parents made the name up or that they were naming their child after the alphabet.  

 

 

Not from the Hawaiian language, their consonants are H, K, L, M, N, P, W, and '.

I do think this particular name more or less came from the alphabet, but is that wrong in some fundamental way? More wrong than naming a kid Mary which derives from a Hebrew word meaning bitter when the parents neither speak Hebrew nor intend their child to be saddled with connotations of bitterness?

I think the point is more that different cultures and sub-cultures think differently about naming. In some cultures very traditional patterns of established names are preferred. In others more creative naming methods are common.

 

 

[Slache]

23 hours ago, Æthelthryth the Texan said:

So since we’re talking about names can someone please explain to me how Jack every became a nickname for John? It’s no shorter. 

John and Jack both stem from the French name Jacques. Oftentimes Johns will go by Jack because there are too many Johns and it's essentially their name anyway. I am only 95% sure of the accuracy of this.

[Jean in Newcastle]

42 minutes ago, Danae said:

 

We don't have any idea what the mom and/or dad thought about when decideing on this name. She might be named after a beloved aunt. Maybe one of the early Abcdes donated a kidney that saved her father's life. Maybe they just like the name. 

Right.  Or she looked at a baby name site, saw that it had a pretty pronunciation and decided to use it.  Just like a lot of people do when deciding on a name. 

[maize]

6 minutes ago, Slache said:

John and Jack both stem from the French name Jacques. Oftentimes Johns will go by Jack because there are too many Johns and it's essentially their name anyway. I am only 95% sure of the accuracy of this.

 John is actually the English form of the Hebrew name Yohanan, Ioannes in the Greek New Testament. Its French analog is Jean; also Dutch Jan, German Johan, etc.

French Jacques is their form of Jacob, Hebrew Ya'aqov. Also associated with English James which somehow got substituted for the Greek form of Jacob, Iacobos, in English translations of the New Testament. James seems to derive from Gaelic Seamus, which supposedly  derives from Iacomus, a medieval Latin variant of Iacobos but there we are really getting in to the weeds of name etymology.

[Slache]

2 minutes ago, maize said:

 John is actually the English form of the Hebrew name Yohanan, Ioannes in the Greek New Testament. Its French analog is Jean; also Dutch Jan, German Johan, etc.

French Jacques is their form of Jacob, Hebrew Ya'aqov. Also associated with English James which somehow got substituted for the Greek form of Jacob, Iacobos, in English translations of the New Testament. James seems to derive from Gaelic Seamus, which supposedly  derives from Iacomus, a medieval Latin variant of Iacobos but there we are really getting in to the weeds of name etymology.

Ok, then I don't know. I get points for trying.

My son John is named after a John who went by Jack and he told me that. I've googled it but haven't come up with a solid answer.

[Bluegoat]

16 hours ago, Quill said:

Why was that such a thing? It’s not even clever. 

 

 

I don't think it has to be clever.  I've heard some pretty lame name jokes by kids looking to annoy their friends.

Edited December 1, 2018 by Bluegoat

[KidsHappen]

5 hours ago, Lady Florida. said:

I remember when a friend who was pregnant the same time I was wanted to name her daughter Rhiannon. All I could hear in my head was Stevie Nicks singing and I thought that's what everyone would think when they heard her daughter's name. Rhiannon is now pretty common and most people don't automatically start singing Fleetwood Mac when they hear it.

 

I have a Rhianna and I did indeed get the idea from the Fleetwood Mac song. In the song it sounds like she pronounces the name as Rhianna not Rhiannon and I liked the sound of that so much better. When I look at the spelling of the actual name in the song it didn't appeal to me at all so I basically made up the name Rhianna based on the mishearing of the name in the song. I had already decided on the name by the time I did later research and discovered that Rhianna was an was an accepted version of the name. 

She is one of my elder dds and at the time I named her I had never heard of anyone with that name. In the entire time she was growing up we only met one other girl with the same name and spelling. Most people had problems with both pronunciation and spelling. And then Rihanna (who is only a couple years older than my dd) suddenly made it big and it helped immensely with people recognizing the name and being able to pronounce it but none at all with the spelling because there are so many crazy variations - Reanna, Rianna, Rihanna, rhianna and so on.

Anyhow she went from the first half of her life having an incredibly rare name to the last half in which it has become fairly common. This as actually happened with most of my dds. I just tell myself that I must be a trendsetter instead of follower. 😎

[Bluegoat]

4 hours ago, Dotwithaperiod said:

I’m reading a book about the Hmong culture. It mentions how many of them gave their children American names such as Guitar and Pajamas, because they thought the combination of those letters and meaning sounded nice, and American enough for their kids to fit in. One of their names, in Hmong, is literally “banana tree”. How in the world could you mock or find fault with their naming process? Why then, would we choose to mock one of our own, so to speak, for choosing a name we deem ridiculous, and claim we’re merely concerned for the said child?

I would like to think in the greatest country in the world, we could learn to speak and spell and accept odd names without resembling a bunch of old biddies sitting around the table gossiping about the strange people who moved in down the street.

 

You seem to be ignoring that people do give their kids joke names - it's not really all that uncommon.  It is manifestly untrue to say that they don't.  I don't think there is anything wrong with making a negative judgement on parents who choose to give their kids joke names.  You are sitting here judging people, in multiple posts, for something you think they shouldn't be doing, obviously you are not against judgement in principle.

I think most people have said that it is possible the mother didn't mean it as a joke name, but I'd say there is a good chance she did, and the same for the other parents who have called their kids that name.  

[maize]

31 minutes ago, Slache said:

Ok, then I don't know. I get points for trying.

My son John is named after a John who went by Jack and he told me that. I've googled it but haven't come up with a solid answer.

All the points!

I think I've heard that explanation before. I would call it folk etymology but it may also be quite old folk etymology and account for some of the John to Jack nicknaming. 

I find a lot of traditional nicknames interesting. Why would a Sarah be Sally or Ann or Agnes Nancy? How does Charles become Chuck or Robert Bob? Why is Edward Ned or Henry Hal or William Bill?

[maize]

Oh, on the names with odd nicknames bunny trail, here's an explanation of another one I have wondered about: Margaret/Peggy:

https://www.google.com/amp/s/dmnes.wordpress.com/2017/01/25/how-do-you-get-peggy-from-margaret/amp/

[Lady Florida.]

3 hours ago, Jean in Newcastle said:

The first time I had a student named Siobhan, I had absolutely no idea how it was pronounced.  It doesn't follow phonetic rules for English and I don't speak or read Gaelic.  I had to ask my student how to pronounce it, which offended her greatly even though I was not trying to be offensive. 

The first time I heard and saw the name it was spelled Shevon. She was one of the cheerleaders on the squad I coached when I was teaching. I don't know if her parents wanted the sound but an easier spelling or if they really didn't know how it was spelled. A few years later I met another student (not one of mine but she attended the school where I taught) and her name was spelled traditionally as Siobhan. That was the first time I learned of the traditional Gealic spelling.

2 hours ago, Faith-manor said:

. I have a ridiculously common English name, one that no one would think odd, and I have to spell it everywhere I go. Everywhere. Our eldest daughter has a five letter NOT difficult or unique name at all. She has to spell it. Everyone wants to put a "y" in it even though it is spelled according to the English phonetic rules with an "i". Eldest boy has another ridiculously normal name meaning Christ follower, but he always has to spell it too. The "ph" is considered weird these days I guess even though it is the standard English spelling, very common. My cousin Stephan always, always, always has to spell it because everyone goes for Steven, and his name isn't even pronounced with a 'v" when he introduces himself. He's 48, and has never lived anywhere that he hasn't had to train people how to spell and say his name.

I think men named Stephen/Stephan/Steven lose no matter what. My brother is Steven and always has to spell his name, or at least say "with a V". 

2 hours ago, KungFuPanda said:

I get it. I had a maiden name that nobody ever got wrong. In the 25 years I’ve been married I have a name that most people misspell even though it’s spelled exactly how it sounds. Sometimes people DO get it right and that’s nice. I

My maiden name sounds like a female first name and most of my life (I was single longer than I've been married) I had to deal with, "But what's your last name?" "That IS my last name." When I was a kid adults were patronizing. "What do they call your daddy, honey?" Mr. - What?" When I'd tell them they'd laugh at how 'cute' that was. I also had to constantly spell it even though it's ridiculously easy. 

1 hour ago, KidsHappen said:

I love the new name. We are currently watching, "The Last Kingdom" so it is especially timely to me.

We're watching it too and I'm reading the books as well.

7 minutes ago, maize said:

Oh, on the names with odd nicknames bunny trail, here's an explanation of another one I have wondered about: Margaret/Peggy:

https://www.google.com/amp/s/dmnes.wordpress.com/2017/01/25/how-do-you-get-peggy-from-margaret/amp/

I always wondered about Margaret/Peggy. MIL was one. Her MIL though was Margaret with no nickname. I also wonder about William/Bill. I can understand Will, but how did the W get replaced by a B? Dh is a William/Bill. 

[itsheresomewhere]

5 hours ago, umsami said:

Going to add that "La-a" means "no" in Arabic.

I feel sorry for the child on many accounts as her Mom has made it basically easy for people to tease her.  As somebody who was teased a lot as a kid, I am of the belief that you don't make it easy. I had a French teacher take one point off of every test because I spelled my name with a "K" vs. a "C".  That was just weird.  I hope that she grows up to be a strong girl who takes pride in her name and causes others to take pride too.  Personally, if I know a nice or cool "Abcde" then in general all other "Abcde"s will get an assumption of being good/nice/cool unless I know otherwise.  

 DH wanted to name our daughter Fatimah.  Popular Muslim name.  Also known in Catholic circles.  But I have always been fat, so my fear was that if my daughter followed me in appearance, she would be "Fatty Fatimah."  Of course, she was in the 5th percentile for weight and was still teased about being fat. 😞

For my male kids, I chose short, easy to pronounce names that worked in both Muslim and American culture.  Same for my daughter.  No Abdul-Rahman or Abdul-Azim.

In Islam, one of the duties of parents is to give their child a "good" name.  I believe part of it dates back to in 7th century Arabic, some would name a beautiful daughter some word along the lines of "ugly" so that the evil spirits wouldn't know.    Of course, I'm not sure how a Muslim would feel about the name "Dolores" which means "sad."  

 

I know two Fatimahs and they are such kind, caring ladies. The name sounds so elegant to me. 

One of my friend’s DH has a name that was passed on to him.  Where he is from, it is known as an name that gets respect.  How you pronounce it here sounds like a certain girls name ( not even close on spelling). He named his kids names that could work and get respect in either country as he wanted his kids to not experience any ridicule like he did.  Such a great guy with a big heart. 

 

 

 

[Bluegoat]

50 minutes ago, Dotwithaperiod said:

 Until you speak to her, you can’t really know it was a joke name. 

And yep, I have no trouble passing judgement in principle, especially toward shameful comments, just don’t know why I’m still surprised to find them here. 

 

 

As people have said - it could have been for some other reason, it's possible.  But people don't suspect that it is a joke name just because they are assholes, they suspect it because it seems like a joke name.  

Pretty much everything people have said from the POV of the name itself and their thoughts on choosing such a name - as opposed to thinking there could be practical  annoyances with the name - are about the idea that it is a joke name.  

[LMD]

Siobhan is an actual name with a rich history. 

Not a gimmick.

What If I wanted to name my kid qrstuv and pronounce it christoff because hehe look it's a string of consecutive letters isn't that clever?! It's immature and arrogant. 

Yep I'm owning that. I'm allowed to have an opinion. A lot of high horses riding around here.

Edited December 1, 2018 by LMD

[Bluegoat]

5 minutes ago, LMD said:

Siobhan is an actual name with a rich history. 

Not a gimmick.

What If I wanted to name my kid qrstuv and pronounce it christoff because hehe look it's a string of consecutive letters isn't that clever?! It's immature and arrogant. 

Yep I'm owning that. I'm allowed to have an opinion. A lot of high horses riding around here.

 

Yeah, it does adhere to phonetic rules - just not English ones.  It is the kind o name where, if you live in an English environment, you will have to expect people struggle with the name.  But, that is ok. I think.

It rememnds me though - people used to commonly translate names that came from other cultures - so you might call a Seamus James, for example.  Or change the spelling to be more familiar.  And it happened a lot with place names.  It doesn't seem to be seen as a good idea quite so often now, either it's a sort of colonialist thing, or less authentic.

[Wheres Toto]

I don't think of Abcde as a joke name.  To me that's stuff like the Wave A. Hand, or names like Santa Clause or Adolf Hitler.   Those I do feel the parents should rethink their choices.

Dh's name is George with a hispanic last name.  Before we started dating, we were talking on the phone at work and I had to send him an email.  Our email list was alphabetical by first name and there were 10's of thousands of employees.  I asked him if it was spelled with a G or a J and he thought it was an odd question.

I've had to spell my first name, despite it being one that most people know and have heard of even if it's not used very often.  My last name begins with a V but people seem to think I pronounce it with a B (and I thought it was a pretty common name, but maybe not).  I had to spell my maiden name all the time too.  And my first married last name, despite the fact that is was spelled exactly how it sounded - very commonly used english word with a Y at the end.

I bet most people don't get away with not having to spell their name at some point.

[Tanaqui]

When I was a child, I used to think it was quite clever to say that it was okay for me to judge others for trivial things because they judged me for being judgmental.

Then I grew up.

There is a qualitative difference between us saying "Seriously, being mean is bad" and you saying "It's okay because you are being mean by calling me mean!" and I think everybody posting here does know that.

On the subject of nicknames, names like Peg or Bill or Dick or Nan for Margaret, William, Richard, or Anna are easy to explain - there were many people with those names in the olden days, and to disambiguate it was common in English speaking places to just swap out a first letter. Some of those haven't remained - we don't call boys Dobbin anymore, nor boys Hick (though yes, those names ARE why we sometimes call horses Dobbin or deride rurals as hicks) - but others have. Edit: For nicknames starting with N where the name starts with a vowel - Nan for Ann, Nell for Ellen, Ned for Ed - this seems to have been influenced greatly by the habit of referring to your loved ones as my/mine $FIRSTNAME. Mine Ed rapidly becomes My Ned in the same way that a napron and a nadder became an apron and an adder.

As for Sarah/Sally and Mary/Molly/Polly, the answer is simple too. The sounds /r/ and /l/ are phonologically similar. You know, of course, that in many languages they don't have both sounds! If you want to borrow an English word into Japanese that has an /l/, you put an /r/ in that place when you say it. Well, even though we do distinguish between those sounds in English, our tongues still realize that they're similar. It's not hard to jump from Sarah to Sally because the sound is so much alike. (That's also why Sarah can be Sadie - /r/ and /d/ are not quite as similar as /r/ and /l/, but they're still pretty close.) And this doesn't just apply to names! Our word pilgrim comes from the Latin word peregrinus. You can see that the word changed by dissimilation - there were two similar sounds too close together, so one became slightly more distinct. Going the other way, I've heard people in my neighborhood speak of "chark" where I'd say "chalk". This is how language changes.

Edited December 2, 2018 by Tanaqui

[umsami]

5 hours ago, maize said:

All the points!

I think I've heard that explanation before. I would call it folk etymology but it may also be quite old folk etymology and account for some of the John to Jack nicknaming. 

I find a lot of traditional nicknames interesting. Why would a Sarah be Sally or Ann or Agnes Nancy? How does Charles become Chuck or Robert Bob? Why is Edward Ned or Henry Hal or William Bill?

What is one of the shortened forms of Richard, Dick?  I get Rick.  Dick?  (Not as common any more.)

[KidsHappen]

6 hours ago, Bluegoat said:

 

You seem to be ignoring that people do give their kids joke names - it's not really all that uncommon.  It is manifestly untrue to say that they don't.  I don't think there is anything wrong with making a negative judgement on parents who choose to give their kids joke names.  You are sitting here judging people, in multiple posts, for something you think they shouldn't be doing, obviously you are not against judgement in principle.

I think most people have said that it is possible the mother didn't mean it as a joke name, but I'd say there is a good chance she did, and the same for the other parents who have called their kids that name.  

Stephen King has a son named Joseph. He goes by Joe. I am not sure which one of them is joking though. Maybe both or maybe Stephen didn't even consider it until his son started going by Joe although knowing Stephen it probably crossed his mind. He is pretty sharp.

[Scarlett]

My dh has a brother with a joke name,  I still can’t even believe two kind and intelligent people named their child what they did.  His first name is normal....paired with his middle name it is ridiculous.  Something like Justin Time.  

[Tanaqui]

I forgot to address Henry to Hal. This is a two stop process. First the n is dropped. You can hear that Henry and Harry are quite similar in sound. Then the r becomes l for the reason I discussed above - the two sounds are very similar. (Don't believe it? Say "Red lolly, yellow lolly" very fast, over and over again. How long can do you do it for?)

[Tanaqui]

Quote

You can keep trying the wag your finger as us all you want (though I thought you’d given up a few pages back), but this didn’t go viral in a vacuum.  There is a reason why Jim Bob or Horchata might cause a snort or a joke but didn’t make headlines but this caused a blow up - the mom, who named her and also sought social and traditional media attention to expand the reach of the story.

 

Okay, and? Are you saying you're not responsible for your own behavior? Wow, I'd love to hear my kids try to pull that line.

[laundrycrisis]

On 11/30/2018 at 2:10 PM, Arctic Mama said:

 I hate people who do that to their kids - but I have baggage, because most days I dislike my name and this is after years of working actively to not detest the weirdness. And at least my name mostly follows English language spelling rules.

 

If you dislike your name, it’s okay to change it.  My dad legally changed his own first name - from a shortened name to the longer form of it.  Everyone still called him by the short form, but it made him happy to have the legal name change. 

At least Abcde doesn’t mean anything bad.  I once had access to a list of student names in a data file I had to fix.  There was a kid named Tedious and also one named Grievous. Those poor kids 😔 

[Catwoman]

57 minutes ago, Arctic Mama said:

Can’t.  I thought long and hard about it for years, but there are too many legal ramifications for doing so that are extremely difficult, not to mention the dysphoria of trying to adjust to another name when my internal identity and monologue is tied to this one for better or worse.  Nothing else ever fit, even for a nickname.  I tried that for years.  But I am who I am with this moniker and am stuck with it now.  It plus my surname are just the linguistic contortions I have to bear at this point, but I gave years of mulling.

 

/enough about me 😳

 

I think Taryl is a pretty name.  🙂

[Catwoman]

19 minutes ago, Arctic Mama said:

You and my mom 🤣

And yet she had the gall to complain and make fun of me wanting to name one of my kids Lavinia, which is a pretty and PHONETIC name.  Peer pressured me out of it, too 🤨

 

I like Lavinia!

And I have to admit that the only reason I know how to spell your name is because you used to have it in your signature! 😁  I will say, though, that I could have figured out how to spell your name a lot easier than if I had to guess that a name pronounced as “Absidy” was spelled Abcde... 😉 

[Liz CA]

32 minutes ago, Catwoman said:

 

I think Taryl is a pretty name.  🙂

 

I think it's a pretty name too but I can totally see that you have to spell it. Two or three people have asked me how to spell "Liz." Mind boggling, eh?

[gardenmom5]

3 hours ago, Scarlett said:

My dh has a brother with a joke name,  I still can’t even believe two kind and intelligent people named their child what they did.  His first name is normal....paired with his middle name it is ridiculous.  Something like Justin Time.  

had a barber named harry fox.

[Catwoman]

1 hour ago, Liz CA said:

 

I think it's a pretty name too but I can totally see that you have to spell it. Two or three people have asked me how to spell "Liz." Mind boggling, eh?

 

Were they imagining a couple of extra Zs at the end or something? 

How else could you possibly spell Liz? 

I am baffled. 

I wonder if those same people could have spelled Abcde. 😉

[DawnM]

2 hours ago, Catwoman said:

 

I like Lavinia!

And I have to admit that the only reason I know how to spell your name is because you used to have it in your signature! 😁  I will say, though, that I could have figured out how to spell your name a lot easier than if I had to guess that a name pronounced as “Absidy” was spelled Abcde... 😉 

 

Dang you are good at remembering things!  I rarely pay attention to the details.  I am a global picture sort of gal.  One reason my earring rarely make it to my ears, in fact, I am lucky if they make it to my pocket, which may mean they end up in the wash......sigh.

[Guest]

Quote

I bet most people don't get away with not having to spell their name at some point

I agree that having to spell names on first encounters is very common and is probably not avoidable for most. You could have a very traditional and common name - like Catherine/Katherine - and still need to spell it due to multiple accepted verson, plus the off chance your parents were being “klever.” 

But! There is still a worthwhile deterrent to “enkenvinshunel” spellings. When you spell out a name that is conventional and follows spelling rules, it is really nothing more than a confirmation of what the other person expected. So you tell a receptionist, “My name is Danielle - D A N I E L L E.” And now we move on and there’s no confusion going forward. But if you say, “My name is Absidy - A B C D E.” This is very confusing! (I have been a receptionist, and I can imagine how confusing that would be!) 

In summary, I don’t think it’s terrible to have to spell out one’s name on a first or second encounter with new people; I agree that happens most of the time. But to endure constant confusion, time and time again, just because your parents thought it would be funny? It just stinks. 

I haven’t heard of parents providing ridiculous clothing for their children to wear to school, just because they thought it would be funny. This is like that, but worse, because it is difficult to escape a ridiculous name, at least until age 18 at the soonest. 

Edited December 2, 2018 by Quill
Sorry; posted early accidentally

[Scarlett]

32 minutes ago, Quill said:

I agree that having to spell names on first encounters is very common and is probably not avoidable for most. You could have a very traditional and common name - like Catherine/Katherine - and still need to spell it due to multiple accepted verson, plus the off chance your parents were being “klever.” 

But! There is still a worthwhile deterrent to “enkenvinshunel” spellings. When you spell out a name that is conventional and follows spelling rules, it is really nothing more than a confirmation of what the other person expected. So you tell a receptionist, “My name is Danielle - D A N I E L L E.” And now we move on and there’s no confusion going forward. But if you say, “My name is Absidy - A B C D E.” This is very confusing! (I have been a receptionist, and I can imagine how confusing that would be!) 

In summary, I don’t think it’s terrible to have to spell out one’s name on a first or second encounter with new people; I agree that happens most of the time. But to endure constant confusion, time and time again, just because your parents thought it would be funny? It just stinks. 

I haven’t heard of parents providing ridiculous clothing for their children to wear to school, just because they thought it would be funny. This is like that, but worse, because it is difficult to escape a ridiculous name, at least until age 18 at the soonest. 

Exactly.  Like the customer  mentioned earlier.  They said their last name which was say something that sounded like Norsky. I began writing while asking how is that spelled.....she says something like Nzyrezyrzyr.  I am not exaggerating how far off the sound was from the spelling.  They were patient with me, we giggled together at how much difficulty I had and we went on.  I can’t  put imagine giving a child a name like that.  

[Guest]

10 minutes ago, Scarlett said:

Exactly.  Like the customer  mentioned earlier.  They said their last name which was say something that sounded like Norsky. I began writing while asking how is that spelled.....she says something like Nzyrezyrzyr.  I am not exaggerating how far off the sound was from the spelling.  They were patient with me, we giggled together at how much difficulty I had and we went on.  I can’t  put imagine giving a child a name like that.  

Well, of course last names are a different story because there isn’t much choosing and they might perfectly follow the naming and spelling logic of a non-English language. But first name = choice, so I don’t understand being intentionally difficult. 

[Scarlett]

1 minute ago, Quill said:

Well, of course last names are a different story because there isn’t much choosing and they might perfectly follow the naming and spelling logic of a non-English language. But first name = choice, so I don’t understand being intentionally difficult. 

Yes.  Exactly.

btw, I keep meaning to mention I had a boss named Danielle but pronounced Duh Nell. I much prefer the traditional pronunciation like yours. 

[historically accurate]

1 hour ago, Quill said:

I agree that having to spell names on first encounters is very common and is probably not avoidable for most. You could have a very traditional and common name - like Catherine/Katherine - and still need to spell it due to multiple accepted verson, plus the off chance your parents were being “klever.” 

But! There is still a worthwhile deterrent to “enkenvinshunel” spellings. When you spell out a name that is conventional and follows spelling rules, it is really nothing more than a confirmation of what the other person expected. So you tell a receptionist, “My name is Danielle - D A N I E L L E.” And now we move on and there’s no confusion going forward. But if you say, “My name is Absidy - A B C D E.” This is very confusing! (I have been a receptionist, and I can imagine how confusing that would be!) 

In summary, I don’t think it’s terrible to have to spell out one’s name on a first or second encounter with new people; I agree that happens most of the time. But to endure constant confusion, time and time again, just because your parents thought it would be funny? It just stinks. 

I haven’t heard of parents providing ridiculous clothing for their children to wear to school, just because they thought it would be funny. This is like that, but worse, because it is difficult to escape a ridiculous name, at least until age 18 at the soonest. 

You learn when to pause when spelling your name. I am Rebecca, which is one of only 2 common ways to spell it, so I can say 1 b/2c's. I say 1 b, because people forget which consonant to double. But when I spell my kids' names, I've learned where to pause. One of my kids I have to pause at the syllables, since there are several different ways to spell each syllable - similar to Casey or Caysey. So I say, "C-A, pause, S-E-Y." My other child with the unfamiliar name, I pause at specific spaces since people are already trying to spell it in their head. I have found that I have to break up the double vowel for people, so it's "Consonant-Vowel, pause, Vowel, longer pause, second syllable." I have to put a longer pause to make sure they get the vowels in the right order. Sorry, I can't come up with a similar name to use as an example. If I had a kid named Abcde, I would say "Absidy - A-B, pause, C, longer pause, D-E." I've found syllable breaks usually works well for oral spelling for receptionists. 

Edit: I would probably learn to add with a smile "Yes, the first 5 letters of the alphabet." pretty quickly after spelling it, so it would forestall the confused face from the receptionist.

Edited December 2, 2018 by beckyjo

[bethben]

My son had a child in his 3rd grade class whose name was Abcde.  Her parents were immigrants so I’m not sure how much that had to do with it.  This girl would be 19 today.  It was a weird name and this poor girl has to endure a lifetime of correcting people.  I thought she was the only one.  

[Lady Florida.]

10 hours ago, laundrycrisis said:

 

If you dislike your name, it’s okay to change it.  My dad legally changed his own first name - from a shortened name to the longer form of it.  Everyone still called him by the short form, but it made him happy to have the legal name change. 

 

Or use your middle name if you have one (( don't). I knew when I named ds that it was an uncommon (though not weird) name so I gave him a more common middle name he could use if he ever decided he wanted to. He hasn't, but he did have the option. Plus we had a hard time deciding on a name that went well with his first and last name. So Michael is is middle name. It's an all around name that goes with nearly every other given name and surname. 

10 hours ago, Arctic Mama said:

No remember? I’m the owner of a stupid made up name and have suffered for it.  

 

I think it's a nice name and from what I can find online it's German in origin, though usually used as a boy's name. Your mom might think she made it up but it's possible she heard it somewhere at some time.

I had a friend in high school named Zona, pronounced like Donna with a Z. Her mother once worked with a woman by that name and liked it, so when her second daughter was born she named her Zona. As if that wasn't hard enough, like me she had a last name that sounded like (a very old-fashioned) girl's name, so she always had to correct people and tell them which was her first name and which was her last. In one of the strangest coincidences I've ever known of, she met the woman who inspired her name. It's not uncommon around here for young people to have summer jobs at the theme parks. One year when we were in college she worked as a Disney World tour guide. The Zona who used to work with her mom - in Kentucky, not here in FL - was in her group. When when she told the group her name the other Zona spoke up and with a little bit of discussion they realized who each other was.

Edited December 2, 2018 by Lady Florida.

[Jean in Newcastle]

As far as "calling out the mother" goes.  She did what many many people are doing nowadays.  She called out an airline employee publicly for legitimately bad public service.  Recent history shows that airlines don't take complaints seriously unless it has gone public because there is a long history of sweeping such things under the rug.  This doesn't mean that it's ok to have open season on the mom and her naming choices. 

[Tanaqui]

Quote

No remember? I’m the owner of a stupid made up name and have suffered for it.  I don’t condone the mockery, but recognize that human nature is not going to change and parents have WAY more agency to control their child’s future in this than any single other person.  

 

You know, just recently there was a thread on Reddit about positive things teachers have noticed about Kids These Days. Several of the aforementioned kids showed up and said that while bullying *exists*, they always kinda thought that the over-the-top bullying you see in movies and on TV was made up. They've never seen anything like that.

Is this desire to judge people on their given names really "human nature"? Or is it just part of an unfortunate cultural trend that another generation might bypass entirely?

Children in America have a much wider variety of names than they did in previous generations. The top ten or twenty names don't cover as many young people as the single top name did 50 or even 30 years ago - and the names are pulled from a much larger pool of ethnicities as well. What seems weird and unusual to *you* might not seem weird and unusual to *them* when they're your age - and they might not think weird and unusual names are anything to judge or mock, no more than weird or unusual allergies are.

There are already over 300 people in the US with this name. That's enough for a very small convention.

[Miss Tick]

22 minutes ago, Tanaqui said:

There are already over 300 people in the US with this name. That's enough for a very small convention.

Southwest Airlines might give them a deal on airfare...

[gardenmom5]

1 hour ago, Tanaqui said:

 

You know, just recently there was a thread on Reddit about positive things teachers have noticed about Kids These Days. Several of the aforementioned kids showed up and said that while bullying *exists*, they always kinda thought that the over-the-top bullying you see in movies and on TV was made up. They've never seen anything like that.

Is this desire to judge people on their given names really "human nature"? Or is it just part of an unfortunate cultural trend that another generation might bypass entirely?

Children in America have a much wider variety of names than they did in previous generations. The top ten or twenty names don't cover as many young people as the single top name did 50 or even 30 years ago - and the names are pulled from a much larger pool of ethnicities as well. What seems weird and unusual to *you* might not seem weird and unusual to *them* when they're your age - and they might not think weird and unusual names are anything to judge or mock, no more than weird or unusual allergies are.

There are already over 300 people in the US with this name. That's enough for a very small convention.

just because *they* haven't seen it, doesn't mean it is over the top, or that it doesn't exist.   because I've never seen anything in movies that I haven't personally seen in a school - or could easily imagine some of the bullies I've witnessed were perfectly capable of doing if they thought about it.

[Tanaqui]

Indeed, and I'm reluctant to say that there's no bullying ANYwhere. Our society can be super awful. However, I'm willing to tentatively believe that there's at least a little less of it and it tends to get nipped in the bud a little faster. (Overall, I mean. Individual locations will vary.) Little by little makes a lot.

Edited December 3, 2018 by Tanaqui

[Momto6inIN]

18 hours ago, Liz CA said:

 

I think it's a pretty name too but I can totally see that you have to spell it. Two or three people have asked me how to spell "Liz." Mind boggling, eh?

Sometimes when I've forgotten someone's name and don't want to be embarrassed by asking because I really should know it by now I try to be all sneaky clever 😎 and ask them how to spell it.

[Guest]

15 minutes ago, Momto5inIN said:

Sometimes when I've forgotten someone's name and don't want to be embarrassed by asking because I really should know it by now I try to be all sneaky clever 😎 and ask them how to spell it.

Right, and then they go, “How do I spell Bill? Really?” 😄

[Jean in Newcastle]

Sometimes I spell out my name or one of my family members’ names when it is clear to me that the person I am talking to isn’t getting it. Hearing names depends in part of familiarity with the name in question. There is no other context to help like there is for other words in a sentence. And some names sound pretty close to other names. So I happily spell things out.