Do your kids play outside alone?

[Annie Laurie]

If so, how old were they when they started playing outside alone and where do they play? (Fenced in backyard only, front yard, the entire neighborhood, etc).

[chaik76]

Oldest son has been allowed to play on the front porch since he was four, the yard (front and back) since he was about five and a half. We live pretty rurally, the only danger is the occasional bear in fall. There aren't really any other kids in the neighborhood, so there's no reason for him to roam. I'd love to let him ride his bike on our dead end street, but the person who lives beyond us drives up it way too fast...I'd always be scared he was going to get hit.

When we lived in Mpls. he was always supervised...and probably still would be.

ETA: We have no fencing..and he is allowed in both the back and front yards.

[Lovedtodeath]

We have a six foot high fence with locked gates. DD6 plays outside alone, but we generally are within view and if not check on her frequently (like, 3 minutes). She rides her bike 2 doors down in either direction if we are in the garage or yard. It is a good question. Crimes against children are at an all time low since the early 70s. Most of us are probably too cautious.

[Joanne]

School aged, with increasing range for age and maturity. Rarely "alone", though. It has nearly always been with siblings, peers, neighborhood kids. Both my homes have been at the near end of cul-de-sacs in suburban neighborhoods and with other age peers playing intermittently supervised.

[Annie Laurie]

Rarely "alone", though.

 

Good catch, I should have worded it differently. To clarify: when did they play outside without adult supervision?

[Melissa B]

My children play outside alone. We live very rurally so there are no other children. We don't have any fencing, but they stick to the yard. I keep windows and doors open and check on them every five to ten minutes if the little ones are out or every fifteen minutes or so if only the older two are out. We have a couple of acres. Our rule is one older child per younger child. So the older two can play outside alone, but the younger two must have an older child outside (not that the older child is expected to baby-sit, but just as an extra set of eyes and someone who could get to the child more quickly if needed.) We moved here when the older two had just turned 9 and 7. Before that, we lived in a neighborhood, in a home on a corner with no fence and they were not allowed to play outside alone.

[Annie Laurie]

We have a fenced in backyard and my kids play out there alone all the time, though I'm usually in the kitchen or living room and can see them anyway.

 

What I'm wrestling with is when to let them play out front without me; as it stands now, I sit in a chair in the driveway when they play out front. But I think they need more exercise, they have a playset out back but have not been interested in playing out there much the last few months. If they could go out front more, (I don't always have the time or truthfully, the inclination, to sit out front), they would ride their bikes more.

 

The thing is, I had the three youngest close together and they play together all day long and 4 year old would be insulted if the middle two were allowed to go play on our street and he wasn't, but 4 feels too young to me. He's actually a very mature 4 year old, he sits and does lessons with the other two because he wants to and isn't wiggly or impulsive or whatever else my other 4 year olds were. Anyway, I'm not comfortable with him going out front without me anyway, I'm just not. Even with his siblings. I'm not sure how I feel about it for my 6 and 7 year olds yet either, we don't live in a rural area. We live in a suburb and during nice weather there are a lot of kids outside and parents coming and going, so I'm not worried about anyone harming them. I am worried about people who speed through our neighborhood though, we live on kind of a main street in the subdivision.

 

I think I answered my own question and am going to get them some new gross motor toys that might entice them to stay out in the backyard longer and get more exercise until 4 year old gets older. Or I will just have to snap out of my funk and go outside with them more.

 

Ironically, my oldest played out front alone with the neighbor boy from across the street all the time at 6, and was allowed to play on our street and I didn't worry. He had such a big space between him and his younger brother and I wanted him to be able to go play with other kids. Trying to put my finger on why I felt that way then but feel differently now.

[TCoppock]

I have allowed my DS to play alone in the backyard since he was about 4-5. It is fenced in and I still check on him frequently. He is 9yo and I still do not allow him to play unsupervised in our front yard.

[Alaska Mom]

My kids are outside alone here alot, but I can usually either see or hear them unless they go on the side of the house. Ds's sandbox is straight out from my kitchen window. The biggest risk we have where we live is bears and moose. My kids were on the back porch a month ago and dd called me and said they saw a black bear standing up on hind legs (ds3 actually saw it first, poking his head around the back of the garage, then it stood up, I think he was just curious, then ran away). That spooked me alot because I wasn't out there with them. But bears will generally run away from people, the moose will actually charge at people if they are irritated, so that is my greater fear, but the kids know to run into the house if they see moose. But generally, my kids are so noisy outside, the wild animals are long gone! When we travel down south, I never let them be outside without someone with them or near them, I'm more nervous about the "wild animals" down there, that really spooks me, so no, they wouldn't play outside down there alone, not yet anyway.

[Laura Corin]

In China they played in our courtyard (shared with the whole apartment complex). There was theoretically a guard on the gate, but he wasn't watching even when he was there. The boys would also go down the street (outside the complex) to get things from the local shop.

 

In Hong Kong, Calvin had free rein in the city wherever easy public transport ran. One afternoon, he decided to explore the whole underground train system on his own. He regularly took the train to meet his father for lunch, and would meet up with me at (say) the library, taking the train, then walking on his own. Hobbes was with me because of traffic risk.

 

At our temporary home in Scotland, Hobbes is always with me because of the roads, but Calvin is free to roam.

 

At our new home, there is safe access from the house to the local woods, where all the children meet. Mine will be free to go there. I'm happy for that to be happening with Hobbes his current age, but probably not younger, just because he's less likely to get lost/scared now.

 

The statistics for nasty things happening to children have only changed since I was a child with regard to pedestrian deaths; I refuse to be swayed by news outlets' sensationalist harping on how dangerous the world is for our children. I believe that the freedom to explore is important to children's development. Now if, like Alaska Mom, I had bears to worry about, I'd behave quite differently.

 

Rant over.

 

Laura

[KidsHappen]

My 9 & 12 yr. old are allowed to play outside together in the cul-de-sac or at their friends houses. There are usually 5-7 kids out there at any given time. So that is five sets of parents keeping an eye on them not to mention all of their older brothers and sisters. They have been allowed to do this since they were about four or five years old but we live in a very safe small neighborhood.

[Jumping In Puddles]

My kids, 4 and 5, can play in our yard by themselves. They need to stay out of the street unless I or one of their friends mom is out there, in that case I throw a few cones up and I let them ride their bikes.

 

They also have to tell me when they are going to one of their friends houses (on the block). They have to come right back if the friend is not home and I watch them walk over there.

 

About a month ago, my kids and the neighbor kids were going to each others houses without asking. That stopped because they would have to leave immediately if they didn't ask first and they love being at their friend's house.

Edited November 11, 2008 by Jumping In Puddles

[Peela]

It hasnt been much of an issue because in our last two houses there werent other kids in the street. Both kids played in the backyard alone- watched through windows- from a young age- 2 or 3. When i say alone- they are 17 months apart in age, both have always been sensible kids- usualyl they played together.

Now we have kids in the street, ds 13 has been playing out there- on the road, up and down the street, in and out of friends' houses- for most of the 3 years we have been here. It is a family friendly, safe suburb but we parents all look out for them, too. Ds13 is the oldest of the kids- there used to be a 4yo whose parents just couldnt prevent her from being out there with her brother- she is 7 now, she survived!

[momofkhm]

When they turn about 6 they can play in the backyard alone as long as one of the dogs is out there and I am "available". Available means I am awake and downstairs. Then when they are 8, they can play out front alone. We live on a cul-de-sac that is only 7 houses long. Rarely do we get someone using it as a turn around. DS who is 8 has to come in about 5 when the adults start coming home from work. But if the girls are out there, he can stay out later.

[Plaid Dad]

Dd has been playing in the yard without immediate adult supervision since she was 6 or so. She knows the rules (don't go down to the river, don't leave the yard with anyone but a parent, come when you're called). She's a cautious child and generally trustworthy. When the weather allows, she is often outside with the neighbor girls.

[Tracey in TX]

They've been allowed in the fenced back yard since they could walk. Back door usually open to listen in case of boo-boos. Front yard unsupervised since about 4y/o. It's a cul-de-sac filled with children, so they always had friends to play. Just recently do they go outside totally alone during school hours. Kitchen sink faces our street, so I see much of what they're doing even in "unsupervised" time. They're still required to be inside while I shower.

[elegantlion]

He has been allowed for longer than he was actually done it. He hates to go outside by himself, not because of fear, but of boredom. We moved here when he was 8 so it took a while to get a feel for the neighborhood.

 

He can play in the yard, we have a nice wooded lot or ride his bike in front of the house.

[Arch at Home]

We live in an inner city neighborhood. The oldest began playing in the fence backyard since she was about two. The younger two since they felt independent enough to crawl out the door with big sis. I kept a careful eye on them and checked on them as soon as I didn't know where they were. They started playing on the front porch at about the same time. As for the front yard I probably waited for the oldest to be at least 3 before I let them out alone. Now they go back and forth between our house and a house up the street without supervisions.

[TraceyS/FL]

Mine pretty much can roam our yard - we have 1.25 ac. It's not fenced again - but only 4ft. The ride bikes around the house and pretty much anything else. Thre aren't many kids in the area.

 

We are 500ft or so off the street, behind some woods. They aren't allowed up the drive to ride bikes up there. It's only a lane and a 1/2 road, and everyone drives too crazy. When they are outside in the yard i always have a door open to hear them. Rarely are they quiet enough for me to NOT know what they are doing. I was way more cautious when the registered sex offender lived next door, even if technically he was no risk to children (and for the record, we have no neighbors now - 2 empty houses that were sold to a developer, and the other one was lost in the Tornado, so it's not like i'm ignoring a new person in that same house that might be a risk for us).

 

At our old house in CA they could play in the fenced backyard all they wanted too, but out front mainly with supervision. We had sidewalks they could ride bikes on - but lived on the main entrance to the neighborhood so it was pretty busy.

[melissel]

DDs 6 and 3 are allowed out in our good-sized backyard (with locked 6-foot privacy fence) without supervision when they're together, but I usually open a window so I can hear them no matter how cold it is and tend to check on them every few minutes or so (I trust DD6 completely, but DD3 is a little sneaky about doing things she knows she's not supposed to do). DD3 can go in the back by herself, but I have to be downstairs and actively watching from the laundry room or playroom.

 

DD6 is allowed out front alone for a few minutes to play a little bit or get the mail, but then she has to come right back in. DD3 is not. I'd let them play on the porch, but I know neither of them would stay there long. The temptation to roam would be too great, and we have a large corner property, so there's a lot of space where I can't just pop over to the window and see them. We don't have many kids in our neighborhood, and the ones that are here are almost never out, so I don't have the advantage of several sets of extra eyes. It's a total bummer, and I'm really hoping the neighborhood evolves over the next few years, but I don't think it will.

[Tess in the Burbs]

Mine are almost 7 and 5 though. They can play out in the backyard alone b/c it is fenced. Recently a neighbor girl climbed over the fence when she couldn't undo the gate latch...so we had to lock the gate when my son could finally reach it(he liked to open it b/c he could) and have a no climbing rule on the fence. they have followed this rule when tested and are allowed to be in the backyard without my sitting with them.

 

the front yard? nope. we do get traffic on our street and people don't look nor slow down even when I am standing half in the street flagging them to slow down. We are with them always. I will say this weekend I allowed them outside with a teen neighbor b/c I know she knows my rules and would keep them. they got about an hour out front playing/riding bikes with this teen and another younger neighbor. All went well(minus some falling down as usual) and would let it happen again.

 

I want to get them to the point they can ride off our street alone but they both lack common sense maturity for that right now.

[sweetbaby]

I didn't allow my dc to play outside alone til age 9 but it's a maturity thing around here. I am still constantly peeking from windows. We have a fenced yard also.

[Murphy101]

backyard only until a year ago because of a bad neighborhood

in this neighborhood, they can go out front and ride bikes or whatever

still not "alone", but without me. The rule is two siblings at a time.

 

really they never ask to play outside alone, sans siblings. even in the backyard, they'll only be out there about 20 minutes before comming in looking for someone to play with.

[Ellie]

Back yard mostly, from the time they were 3ish. They rode their bikes in the front, and played with friends, but did not take other toys out there.

[Titus.Two.Five]

We live in a secluded area...my almost 5 yr old and 7 yr old can only be outside w/out a parent *if* either my 10, 12, or 13 yr olds are out as well.

 

They play in the back yard only, in full view of me for constant checking. :001_smile:

[Renee in NC]

Mine can play outside alone somewhere around 4 - depends on their maturity. My 2yo can play outside with her brothers.

 

Rarely is anyone outside alone. Even in our current location, there are no close neighbors. If their were, they would only be allowed to play in the fenced backyard.

[Mandamom]

Mine can play outside alone somewhere around 4 - depends on their maturity. My 2yo can play outside with her brothers.

 

Rarely is anyone outside alone. Even in our current location, there are no close neighbors. If their were, they would only be allowed to play in the fenced backyard.

 

Mine start playing outside alone around 4 but with sibilings around 2.5. Our yard is pretty large for a suburban neighborhood, it isn't fenced and it is in a neighborhood. We also have lots of windows and no air conditioning so we can see/hear everything so we get to overhear a lot of funny conversations. My kids are allowed to ride their bikes on the road in front of our house if they are steady on their bike and 8 years old and can go around the block at around 9.

 

My older kids play in the entire neighborhood.

 

All that being said, we dont' have but the occasional minor issues in our neighborhood (vandalism, etc.) and only a few cars driving through the neighborhood. My kids are also not runners and have always played within the limits that we give them - they aren't allowed to cross a certain line on our driveway and even when balls cross that line they have never crossed that line without telling us.

Edited November 11, 2008 by Mandamom
clarification

[katilac]

Fenced in back yard, from as early as I could coax them out there :lol:

 

We do have a sliding glass door that made it easy to see/hear them.

 

At 8 & 10, they go in the front yard and a few houses either way but do have to ask. I keep the storm door open, and pull the front curtains to the side so I can check them easily.

 

Busy street with lunatic drivers, so no going past the sidewalk (there's a strip of grass past the sidewalk, before the street).

 

No going to anyone's house without permission (my rule growing up also).

[Part-Time Homeschooler]

My children (8 and 5) don't play outside alone. We live in a suburb of a large city, plus there are several huge dogs in the area that are allowed to roam free. I am outside with them at all times (or DH takes them out when he gets home from work).

[Homeschooling6]

They play alone in a fenced backyard. When they play out front I am with them. Don't know why they prefer the front to the back. The park is across the streed but they are not allowed to go by themselves. We live in a very safe neighborhood but I'm not taking any chances.

 

My oldest is 10 and youngest is 4.

[rafiki]

.

[fivetails]

dd11 pretty much has the run of our current neighbourhood and has since we moved in here (she was 7 then) - but it's a small, close area - it's old military housing and there are kids everywhere, park out back, big parking lot where kids ride bikes, etc....she has boundaries (ie: not past X street and Y street), but within those boundaries, she can play where she likes, pretty much.

 

ds10 - different situation due to his disabilities. He can only play outside with an adult or big sis (or the ten year old girl on the end of the building who sometimes comes to get him) ..this is a safety issue (he's blind, for one thing) and also because not everyone knows how to "interact" with him (other disabilities play in this) and handle his behaviours/etc.

 

That said, we're moving in a week and a half to an entirely different sort of area and there won't be any "free reign" there until/unless we decide that it's appropriate (I've been to the town we're moving to, but not to the exact area - so I don't know what it's like there yet) . Even once we've settled in and gotten to know the neighbours/neighbourhood, it'll likely be a bit different for dd11...it's a bigger town, it has some negative things that our current area doesn't.....we'll see. :)

[Rose in BC]

I have windows all around my house so I can see every corner of the yard. I paid close attention and made sure they followed the rules about the boundaries. Our boundaries were pretty tight until this past year when we loosened up a bit. Now at 11 and 12 I allow them to ride their bikes further than our street but they always have to leave a "flight plan" including destination, who they're with and what time they'll return.

 

Many of my kids friends have much more freedom but they're also the same kids I see hanging around town. I do not want my kids hanging around.

 

Playing outside is important for my kids, especially my eldest son who would live outside if I let him.

[AmyP]

Mine have played alone in the backyard (no fence, woods at back, neighbors on each side) since we moved here when they were 4 and 5. I usually check on them every 15 minutes or so.

 

In the front yard they have to stay within about 50 feet of the house, because our road can be busy. We live uphill from the road, so if they ride bikes I park my car across the driveway in case they get out of control and start rolling downhill. This also forces anyone who pulls up to go in different driveway.

[SquirrellyMama]

My kids have been able to play in our yard without me in it since they were around 3 (for the oldest) and 2 for the younger two. Our backyard is fenced, our house is a ranch style so I can see the yards from every window and they are usually open when the kids are outside.

 

Kelly

[dragons in the flower bed]

I don't set an arbitrary age limit. I tend to judge this based on maturity. I lean on the side of allowing the kids more freedom. This blog, Free Range Kids, presents some really interesting arguments for that.

 

I only let my 5yo go outside to this one spot in between my house and the neighbor's. It's a five foot by ten foot patch of grass, and has a pile of felled tree branches in it. He likes to climb on it and in it. It's directly outside the window (the branches touch the house) so I wouldn't consider that unsupervised. But I won't allow him to go across the street to the vacant city lot my bigger kids play on, nor will I allow him to play on the front stoop or on the sidewalk unsupervised. He's too impulsive, too daring. I usually only let him play without adult care if he's in a group of peers. They reign him in. Otherwise, he's like a cat, way too curious for his own good, and fully convinced he has nine lives. If he does, he's down to six.

 

I do allow the eight-year-old to play on the sidewalk, ride his scooter around the block, walk two blocks to his stepbrother's house, and cross the street to play in the vacant lot. I can see letting him walk the three blocks to the neighborhood park in a year or two, with a cell phone and a companion.

 

The 11yo more or less has the run of the neighborhood, so long as he has a cell phone with him and isn't going to be walking around after dark. He's a cautious, wary, skeptical child who is very good at taking care of his own safety. The first few times he goes somewhere, we go with him and make sure he observes traffic rules and other safety procedures, like not making eye contact with the drug dealer on the convenience store stoop. But once he's been walked through it once or twice, he's free to go by himself.

Edited November 12, 2008 by dragons in the flower bed

[Saille]

We're on a few acres, in a rural area but on a busy road. The kids are allowed to play on any land BEHIND the house, mostly in order to keep them off our sloped driveway. No wheeled toys in front of the house, period. That's been true since they were about 3 1/2 and 5 1/2. However, I checked on them constantly back then. All windows open, could always hear or see them, went outside if they were in a visual/auditory blind spot. I had a small baby, they were dying to get outside, and I was also unpacking all our belongings that spring. Now I can trust the big kids to play out for quite a while, and I check about every 15 minutes. I question whether my youngest will be trustworthy at 3 1/2 like his sister was. He's the main reason we want the fence.

 

We're working on fencing the front property line, and we have a gate across the driveway now. I'm working up to letting them play with wheeled toys when the gate is shut, but I'm afraid if I say that, they'll drag them out some time without looking, or they'll shut the gate themselves but not latch it. I think I'm going to make wheeled toys an "event", and park the car at the bottom of the drive, shut the gate, and have it be an "under mom's supervision only" thing.

 

We are sans dog right now, and I really, really want another. I keep looking at Kuvaszok. As much as we're around (and outdoors), I'd really, really like a 100 pound flock guardian with an eye on my kids. In my heart, I believe that Laura in China has got it right, but there are so many caveats in my head.

[Pretty in Pink]

the 2 and 5yos yes, only in the privacy fenced back yard. my 10yo yes, since he was about 8. he is allowed in my front yard or any friend's front yard IF i can see that yard from my house. if dh or i are physically outside then we will let him ride his bike around our little loop (maybe a 2 minute ride).

[chaik76]

 

The statistics for nasty things happening to children have only changed since I was a child with regard to pedestrian deaths; I refuse to be swayed by news outlets' sensationalist harping on how dangerous the world is for our children. I believe that the freedom to explore is important to children's development. Now if, like Alaska Mom, I had bears to worry about, I'd behave quite differently.

 

Rant over.

 

Laura

I totally agree. The world is small now, because we have the news from everywhere. The only thing I worry about when the kids are outside are bears. They come in the spring when there's not much to eat, and in the fall to fatten up. So I do like to be on the lookout.

[happyWImom]

We live on 3 acres, and our backyard is fenced in. I let them go out in the back by themselves a lot because of the fence, but I still check them every 10 minutes or so, and make sure the windows are open so I can hear them. The front I only let them go in if they in they stay in the yard in front of the window; never in the driveway. They have been going in the back by themselves for 2 years (since dd was 4 1/2) and the front only this year. Even though we are in the country, I still picture someone driving by, seeing them in the driveway, and taking them before I can get there-better safe than sorry is my motto.

[Pongo]

We have 2.5 acres that goes to a lake in the back. About 1 acre is grass the rest woods. The kiddos are allowed to play back there, in the woods, go fishing but, I bought a pretty decent walkie-talkie and they are to keep it on them at all times. When I can't see them I call them every 20 minutes or so. They are ALWAYS outside with the leader of the pack, our very protective Goldendoodle of 87 pounds:) , he keeps them in line. (He's the Avatar pic.)

[laughing lioness]

We live on 10 acres bordered by a river (2 pastures away from our house). The kid play outside alone all of the time but they know that if they dare step foot near the river without consent they would wish they were dead.

We moved here when my now 8 yo was 3 from a fenced suburban lot and he didn't really go out alone for about 2 years. We also moved from the SW to a very northern state and he would say (about 10 mths of the year) "don't make me go out into the big refrigerator!" He is over that now and LOVES to be outside. My 5 yo is outside every chance she gets and in the summer we'll find her out by 7 a.m. saying "hi" to the kittens.