What do teens do for fun?

[Dmmetler]

Recently, there have been several fights in public places (blamed on teens, although some of the people actually arrested have been over age 20), and two movie theaters and a mall have restricted anyone under 18 who is not accompanied by an adult at night/on weekends, or won’t allow more than 2 teens together or similar restrictions. Lots of the comments in local media are calling for more, basically meaning that teens aren’t allowed to go almost anywhere (I have to wonder what they expect mall stores and the movie theaters to do for employees. I know a lot of 16-17 yr olds in those jobs!)

 

With a 13 yr old, who is just starting to get into this stage, I’m seriously wondering what teens can do for fun just as teens? Going to the mall or to the movies with friends was a big part of my high school life, and somehow I can’t see her wanting mommy to go along on a movie date in a few years! I’d much rather have her do the “group dates with a bunch of teens that contain both boys and girls†than solo dating, and restricting teens from typical venues for such things just seems to push the more serious scenarios.

Edited January 8, 2018 by Dmmetler2

[regentrude]

My kids both spent a lot of time hanging out with their friends at our house. Playing video games, watching movies, making food, or just chatting.

The nearest mall is two hours drive and neither had the inclination to spend their free time hanging out at the mall.

They occasionally went to see a movie, but our threater is really crummy - our windowless movie room in the basement is much more convenient, and free ;)

 

Both sometimes went to a coffee shop with friends. Or occasionally a park.

DS does martial arts, and sometimes hangs out with his training partners afterwards at the dojo.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Hike

Do their "death workouts" (their name for their two hour workout that they challenge each other to do)

Go swimming

Go out for frozen yogurt

Go to Denny's or our local Chinese or Mexican places

Hang out (usually at the Y)

Play games

Do our virtual reality games in our living room

Work on cars (for the college boys)

Go to a rock climbing gym

 

 

[OneStepAtATime]

What regentrude and Jean said.

 

DD and DS have friends come to our house to watch movies, play board games, play video games, play D&D, cook, etc.  Also, sometimes DD/DS are invited over to someone else's house to do pretty much the same thing.  Also, DD was recently invited to a tea party at a friend's house.  It was a high tea, very formal, and the girl (early 20s but has known DD for several years) gave a history of high teas and all the teens had a lot of fun.  My kids have never had much interest in hanging out at the mall.  Once in a while we do go to the movie theater but it is too expensive to do often.  I have dropped them off once to hang with friends but only once.  They just haven't had interest in doing that.

 

I do see your point, though.  Growing up it was definitely a thing for me and my friends to just catch the bus or get dropped off at the mall and hang out.  Or walk to the park.  Or we would get dropped off at the dollar movie theater then walk over to get food at one of the fast food restaurants then call when we were ready to go home.  Not having any freedom for a teen seems odd to me.

Edited January 8, 2018 by OneStepAtATime

[edelweiss]

My girls are 17 and 14.  Things they do with friends:

 

Go to the mall 

Go to Starbucks

Go to a restaurant

Go to the movies

Swimming at our house (we have an indoor pool, so this happens year-round)

Going swimming elsewhere in the summer

Dancing in our home studio (for the 14 year old and her dance friends)

Hanging out at the barn and doing photoshoots (for the 17 year old and her friends with horses)

Go bike-riding (usually to Starbucks)

[Kassia]

Hike

Do their "death workouts" (their name for their two hour workout that they challenge each other to do)

Go swimming

Go out for frozen yogurt

Go to Denny's or our local Chinese or Mexican places

Hang out (usually at the Y)

Play games

Do our virtual reality games in our living room

Work on cars (for the college boys)

Go to a rock climbing gym

 

I was going to list many of these plus ice skating, and watching movies at home.  Mine like going to Steak n Shake, Wendy's, Dairy Queen/Orange Julius, McDonald's, or local places, too, for ice cream or smoothies.  They like Chipotle a lot, too.  

Edited January 8, 2018 by Kassia

[Arcadia]

(I have to wonder what they expect mall stores and the movie theaters to do for employees. I know a lot of 16-17 yr olds in those jobs!)

We have that policy at a local mall. Teen employees are considered supervised since there are adult staff around and they usually are in uniform and/or have an employee pass.

 

Here teens hang out at the cities’ Teen Activity Centers where many activities are free. I think I need to pay $5 per year per kid for my city’s Teen Activity Center youth pass and show proof of residency when paying. Supervision is minimal. Another popular place is the library’s Teen room (which is quite big for most libraries here).

Edited January 8, 2018 by Arcadia

[Dmmetler]

We have that policy at a local mall. Teen employees are considered supervised since there are adult staff around and they usually are in uniform and/or have an employee pass.

 

Here teens hang out at the cities’ Teen Activity Centers where many activities are free. I think I need to pay $5 per year per kid for my city’s Teen Activity Center youth pass and show proof of residency when paying. Supervision is minimal. Another popular place is the library’s Teen room (which is quite big for most libraries here).

unfortunately, we’re a good 45 minutes drive from the library that has the big teen area. The branch barely has enough room for a children’s area.

[Annie G]

The mall in our nearby town has the same restrictions but teens can work there. They can't shop or eat there after their shift, though. I know...crazy, huh? 

 

Starbucks won't mind if teens bring a board game and play for an hour or two, but of course it's nice if they make a purchase.  The trampoline place is loads of fun- they usually have other things to do there and it's funny how teens will play dodgeball on their own even though they hate it at school.  Our nearby town has a lot of live entertainment- musicals, plays, etc. Most with student prices. 

 

At home kids play board games, eat, watch movies, eat, play video games, eat, do puzzles, eat. 

 

Unsolicited rant:

I'm not  a fan of blanket 'teens not allowed' policies. I do support no loitering and no illegal activity.  I hope the venues tried to increase security and make an effort to police the troublemakers before they instituted the policy.  I've seen that work and it's a win-win for the businesses.  But our mall didn't really try that and now hardly anyone shops there at night because they fear violence.  So the stores lost the teen shoppers and now the adults who shopped after work. Stores are closing...it's really noticeable in the food court.

[nevergiveup]

My guys were/are redneck dorks.

In their teen years they invited friends over to play airsoft (shooting each other with airsoft guns) or blow something up or tear something apart and work on it.

They never got into the video games or stuff like that.

[Bluegoat]

A lot of kids here do the hang out at home thing.  There are some other places to hang out though - the library is a good one, or there are open gyms a few times a week around the city.  Coffee shops too, we used to do that a lot as kids and they still seem to.

 

There is the oval - ice skating in the winter or the summer it has roller skating and biking.

 

In the summer there are of course a lot more options, parks of all kinds for walking or hiking, skateboard parks are very popular, outdoor courts, there are places with outdoor exercise equipment.  There are a lot of swimming beaches.

 

If parents can pay, there are of course other options.  Lots of kids canoe for the summer.

[Jean in Newcastle]

We don't have trouble with malls here.  Dd16 occasionally goes there with friends but they are going there for the express purpose of shopping for something specific, not just to hang out there. 

 

She also goes to movies about once a year. 

 

So those things happen but not as a place to be all the time.  Dd and her friends would find both the mall and the movie theaters to be rather boring.  They are very active young people. 

[Farrar]

Those restrictions simply wouldn't fly here, and thank goodness. That would make me batty. There are some individual stores that don't allow teens in alone during the couple of hours after school lets out, but it's not the norm.

 

It's also just counterproductive. If you want teens to stop behaving like criminals, then criminalizing normal activities like shopping and going to the movies will not help. It's just going to foster resentment and encourage bad behavior.

 

Teens do go out to the movies and hang out in public places here. There aren't a lot of shopping malls, but kids hang out in the parks and in fast food places and so forth.

 

The teens I know hike, play video games, play pick up sports, cook, play card and role playing games, and generally "hang out" and talk a lot when they're not in school or at activities. Most of the teens I know well have an activity like dance or sports that keeps them busy.

[Ravin]

Mine and her friends:

 

Play D&D (usually a sleepover event every other weekend; on temporary hiatus because the hosts have extra temporary people couch surfing for what may be a period of months; we may move this to our house if DH decides it won't impinge on his studies once the semester starts).

Hang out at each others' houses, usually 1 on 1.

School activities and extracurriculars, homeschool group activities (DD is nominally in a group for teens in our area for which we attend events when we can--contingent on them actually doing things on Fridays).

Go to the mall when they have pocket money they want to spend there (DD will go with her little brother even).

Hang out at the library (DD has a volunteer gig there. They also have some great free programs to attract teens)

 

If she needed more to do, I'd push her towards a youth group, I think. I've suggested she go to One in Ten, which is a LGBT youth support/social group.

[JudoMom]

My guys have been to 2-3 movies with friends.  
They hang out at coffee houses and chat.
They hang out here or at one of their friends' houses, playing games (as a matter of fact, I'm swapping the bigger school room with the smaller playroom and turning it into a better hangout place for them), watching the rare movies, sometimes they play xbox, or they just chat.   Most of their friends are girls, because our church has almost exclusively teen girls, other than my boys.
When the weather is nice, they'll go to a park or on a hike.  
They rock climb periodically.

Oldest went once to a mall with a friend, and that was this Christmas and he needed his friend to help him pick out a gift for another friend.

 

[Jean in Newcastle]

I thought of another thing that dd16 and her friends do.  They volunteer at the same venues a lot.  So dd is "hanging out" while sorting food for the food bank or wrapping presents for the Angel tree or organizing the bouncy houses at the free health fair.  They have a lot of fun but aren't solely focused on themselves. 

[SparklyUnicorn]

Well my teen is a major introvert so he talks to people on the computer.  He's in some local computer type clubs that mostly have adults.

 

This has been a problem since forever.  As a teen I recall not being welcome anywhere.  We couldn't go to the mall or movies or really anywhere at all.  I worked a lot so I guess that's what I was doing. 

[Anne]

outdoor stuff:  hiking, sledding, skiing, fishing, ultimate frisbee

indoor stuff:  hanging out at each other's homes, playing games & watching movies,

local coffee shop was popular.

 

I am also against any sort of blanket "no teens" policy - just enforce the rules they have and the problem would largely go away.  If they need new conduct rules for everybody - then make them.  

 

Anne

 

[katilac]

Around here, those restrictions are only brought up if they're being troublesome. It's very selectively enforced. 

 

unfortunately, we’re a good 45 minutes drive from the library that has the big teen area. The branch barely has enough room for a children’s area.

 

It may be worth it! My dd practically lives at the library, It's 30-45 minutes away depending on traffic, as are most of her things.  I have found that homeschooling teens requires a great deal of driving. 

[Heathermomster]

Hiking, fishing, airsofting, hanging at someone’s house, games on steam, watching local girls basketball games, and eating at waffle house.

[MEmama]

Mine studies.

Sports. He runs track and cross country and races (bikes) in season.

In summer he volunteers and works.

He likes to hang out with us. â¤ï¸

He doesn't hang out with his friends. They don't really seem to do much of that; there really isn't much time.

[whitestavern]

Honestly, mine don't have a lot of extra free time, but some of things dd does are go to friends' houses and just hang out (and have them here), go out to lunch (big on half days), go to movies. DS will go to free skate at the local ice rink or play pond hockey (with members of his hockey team) or go to school sports games. Once in a while we take a friend with us on an outing, such as skiing, an outdoor concert. DD does go to the mall sometimes but not to hang out as much as to purchase something specific (ie prom dresses)

[Mabelen]

We are in Southern California so our teens can enjoy the outdoors year round, hiking, the pool, the beach, outdoor shopping plazas etc. Our area malls don't have this ban, so there are times when teens do hang out there too. During break, my 13 year old went to friends' homes and invited her friends over to our place. They also like hanging out at places like Starbucks, frozen yogurt, Jamba Juice, jumping places, ice skating rings, movie theaters, bowling alleys, etc. They also like to attend high school games, plays, and concerts. Our closest library has a great teen section and do weekly teen events. My older dd used to attend these.

[KungFuPanda]

They seem to do everything adults can do except drink legally. Anything with food, shopping, or music is fair game. They work out at the gym, go to museums, and seem to have radar for free or cheap entertainment. My kids haven't experienced the age restrictions the op describes.

[Bluegoat]

There used to be an all ages musical venue here when I was a teen.  It was great, most of the bands were youngish themselves.

 

 

[ebrindam]

Walk to various restaurants and, oddly, to the Dollar Store

Play video games, watch tv, watch movies at someone's house

Ice Skating

Walk around mall

Go to movies

Go to the beach

Eat snacks

 

 

 

[2_girls_mommy]

Young teens here: 15 and 13. So far, they see their friends at co-op, dance classes, youth groups, camps, and scout meetings- so mostly at organized activities. Their dance teacher takes them all to the mall for lunch and movie a couple of times a year. I just drop them off for that and they like it- enough that they are planning another outing sans teacher, with just themselves soon. I figured I would take them to the mall, walk them to the movie, and pick them up after, let them hang out, but with me nearby kind of thing for now. 

 

They do sleepovers, dances organized by youth groups and co-ops, and lots of game nights organized by those types of groups right now. 

 

Around the neighborhood, they walk to each others' houses and hang out, but more during the summer. School years are so busy for most teens we know between all of their extracurriculars, that it is hard for just hang time, without arranging it. 

[amy g.]

Sew, draw, Netflix, Skype, hike, shop, visit friends, read...

[foxbridgeacademy]

Mine have D&D games at the library and online, they play XBOX with friends, watch YouTube (mostly political or science type stuff) DS treats DD to days out at the mall and food at local places. DD reads a lot (DS works but I don't think he'd call that fun).  We watch movies and play board games occasionally too.  I'd like to get them involved in more stuff but we're very secular so there's not a lot of opportunity for us in my very NOT secular HSing groups.

[JanetC]

Clearly your teen needs to start a political activist group to advocate for the rights of teens to be seen in public and hold protests!

[Sarah CB]

I thought of another thing that dd16 and her friends do.  They volunteer at the same venues a lot.  So dd is "hanging out" while sorting food for the food bank or wrapping presents for the Angel tree or organizing the bouncy houses at the free health fair.  They have a lot of fun but aren't solely focused on themselves. 

 

My 17 year old does this, too. He volunteers at two places with friends and one place without friends. 

 

He and his friends are pretty serious about their marks, so they study together before tests and exams - either here at our house or at the university library. They also like to have fun - they go to movies, out for dinner, to parties, and (once) bowling. They'll grab our dog and go out for a walk. Sometimes they just hang out here and play video games and eat things. 

[Wabi Sabi]

My son is a younger teen, only 13, but he does hang out with several 14-16 year olds. 

The mall is probably their very favorite hangout, and I don't see out local mall enacting such restrictions anytime in the immediate future. To the best of my knowledge there has never been an issue with fights at our mall, although I know that it is a problem in the larger city an hour from here. 

Other things they do: 

 

going to a movie
roller skating rink 
ice rink 
teen center at the library (this is probably tied with the mall in popularity)

hang out at each other's houses playing video games, practicing guitar and drums, watching Netflix/movies, dyeing each other's hair, etc. 
skate park 

walking around and hanging out downtown, often with their skateboards
women's basketball game (we live in a Big 10 college town where women's games are only $3 and popular with families and teens)
climbing gym (ds and many of his friends have memberships)
go to the pool in summer 

[BlsdMama]

Recently, there have been several fights in public places (blamed on teens, although some of the people actually arrested have been over age 20), and two movie theaters and a mall have restricted anyone under 18 who is not accompanied by an adult at night/on weekends, or won’t allow more than 2 teens together or similar restrictions. Lots of the comments in local media are calling for more, basically meaning that teens aren’t allowed to go almost anywhere (I have to wonder what they expect mall stores and the movie theaters to do for employees. I know a lot of 16-17 yr olds in those jobs!)

 

With a 13 yr old, who is just starting to get into this stage, I’m seriously wondering what teens can do for fun just as teens? Going to the mall or to the movies with friends was a big part of my high school life, and somehow I can’t see her wanting mommy to go along on a movie date in a few years! I’d much rather have her do the “group dates with a bunch of teens that contain both boys and girls†than solo dating, and restricting teens from typical venues for such things just seems to push the more serious scenarios.

 

 

Boardgames, get togethers at one another's houses, and, around here?  Mock Trial.  That's pretty much all encompassing for a few months.