When the magic is gone from Christmas

[DawnM]

All my boys are teens (13, 17, and 19) and they want big stuff.....you know, the stuff that makes it so they only get one gift and then maybe a few things they need like socks, underwear, and a throw blanket?

 

I love lots of gifts for kids......just little things, but it makes me so happy to see them excited, etc.....

 

I guess we are now beyond that stage and Christmas will be a simple, "Here are your 3 gifts that you already knew you were getting" and we will be done.

 

This is more of a JAWM, #MissingMyLittleOnes, #MissingTheMagic type post.

[teachermom2834]

For the first time ever, this year, we are doing the thing where people literally pick their own presents in person and then they get wrapped up and get the item they chose. I've resisted this for awhile but when my college sophomore came home for Thanksgiving I took him out to shop for his own Christmas. Dh and I have a shopping date planned where we are going to spend the day shopping for our own gifts and having lunch, etc.

 

I still have a 9yo dd who is geared up for Christmas but this is her first year not believing in all the magic. We aren't filling her in on how much of Christmas is being prearranged or she would be disappointed.

 

Mine are 19, 17, 14, and 9. They aren't necessarily asking for big things but I just can't shop for them well anymore. I used to prefer the element of surprise but there was too much money spent on things I thought they would like but they never wore or used. So I give up. (Except for the 9 yo).

 

I agree with you it is hard. I think I'm going to spend too much money because I can't give up wanting them to have some unexpected surprises. But I recognize that is much more for ME than for them.

[Hilltopmom]

The surprise things here for teens are fancy chocolates, chips, etc that we don’t usually buy.

[linders]

Just thinking the same last night and feeling sad. Add on the busy-ness of heavy school schedules, SAT, etc, and there isn't as much time for Christmas traditions.

[DawnM]

The surprise things here for teens are fancy chocolates, chips, etc that we don’t usually buy.

 

We do that too, but it doesn't get quite the same reaction that a set of Legos used to get.

 

Sigh.

[Night Elf]

I think I"ve written a similar post at least the past two years. My kids want money so there isn't even anything for me to wrap and put under the tree. This year I'm buying them all one small thing to wrap because the past few years my tree is nearly bare. In fact, I don't think they'd care if I didn't even put up a tree. They never felt like doing it last year and we kept putting it off until finally around mid December, I asked them point blank if they wanted a tree. They both told me it was up to me that they were fine with whatever. That really hurt my feelings. I can't force them to have the same good feelings I do but I really miss the days of them being excited. Now it's just a simple transfer of funds and the holiday is over.

[DawnM]

I think I"ve written a similar post at least the past two years. My kids want money so there isn't even anything for me to wrap and put under the tree. This year I'm buying them all one small thing to wrap because the past few years my tree is nearly bare. In fact, I don't think they'd care if I didn't even put up a tree. They never felt like doing it last year and we kept putting it off until finally around mid December, I asked them point blank if they wanted a tree. They both told me it was up to me that they were fine with whatever. That really hurt my feelings. I can't force them to have the same good feelings I do but I really miss the days of them being excited. Now it's just a simple transfer of funds and the holiday is over.

 

:(

 

If it were up to my Aspie, we wouldn't have a special day called Christmas.  He would much rather just go shopping, me pay, and him come home and put his stuff away.  Done.

 

I am thankful I have 2 neuro-typical kids who at least enjoy my efforts.

[Night Elf]

The surprise things here for teens are fancy chocolates, chips, etc that we don’t usually buy.

 

There is nothing I deny my kids. When they need something we buy it. When they want something we buy it. My kids aren't spoiled. It's just that they want very little. Even when they were young children, it was hard getting a Christmas list out of them because they didn't want anything more than what they had. They did enjoy Christmas morning and opening their presents but I was never subjected to the 'Gimmee' attitude that some kids have. So there are no such surprises from us. I just buy them their favorite candies for their stockings. 

[LinRTX]

Christmas is the fellowship and the joy of the season. Remembering past Christmases, celebrating life together. a time to stop the busyness for a while and just enjoy each other. It is not the presents. Its the family time. 

 

I understand your feelings, but this is the first Christmas since my son died and the first time we will not be together at Christmas. Even though there is a new baby and a new future son-in-law, it will not be the same.

[Halftime Hope]

I think that's why my MIL was so excited to have babies and small children around again, because it "brought back the magic" to her favorite holiday.

 

One way I've managed to chase down a bit of "magic" is to keep the stocking tradition going, but change it up slightly.  We had always put useful little items in the stockings, but now I listen hard all year, and an adult child is liable to get a bottle of all natural laundry softener (the expensive kind), or something else equally useful and unexpected, but that shows that I'm paying attention to their particular likes and dislikes.

 

It sounds really silly, but Christmas morning was the time we always had the big knock-your-socks-off toy next to the stocking, so I still try to do something fun and a surprise then.

 

Family games really help keep the fun alive!

 

 

[HomeAgain]

This thread has made me glad that we don't do wish lists for Christmas.  Santa is the only one who brings what is asked for and even that's not a guarantee - and it's never anything big.  If my husband and I decide to purchase something large, that's because we want to give it, not because our kid asked for it. 

 

This year Christmas will be different.  The 18yo doesn't have room for stuff in his dorm so we have to get a lot more creative with what we give him.  The 7yo, no matter how hard he begs, will not be getting a game system - we are not bringing one into the house.  We're thinking of taking the kids on a day trip to learn how to ski for their big gift and a few small things under the tree, but we're just tired of buying.  And having stuff.

 

 

[craftymama]

What about the movies, the cartoons, the hot cocoa, the games, the little things that make the season.  The presents are just one day.  

 

But then we're just headed into the teens so maybe I'm in denial of the future.  

[regentrude]

I have struggled with Christmas since we emigrated, because I was unable to recreate the magic I remembered.

 

It took me a long time to make peace with it. I now focus on different things at Christmas. We enjoy the time together, cook and bake and eat good food, enjoy the time off and hike  or do other fun things. The presents, the tree, the traditions only play a minor role and really don't matter anymore. It has been very liberating.

 

[Annie G]

I'm another member of the club. It's just not the same. We do the pre-holiday stuff together and that's fun- the Christkindlmarket in Chicago, the annual Christmas Day movie, cookie baking, looking at lights on Christmas Eve...stuff like that. But Christmas itself is pretty much nothing. We do a few gifts but they aren't exciting things like when the kids were little.  Our extended family lives 850+ miles away so we don't get to see them on the holidays most of the time. Oldest dd has our four grands and that is exciting except they live all the way in south Florida and dsil is a music minister so of course he/they are super busy so even if we visited it's not the best time for them. 

 

In under two years we'll be able to retire and move close to our relatives...I hope  Christmas will be fun again then!

 

 

Edited November 26, 2017 by Annie G

[Elizabeth86]

:grouphug: for you

 

and a great reminder for me to enjoy this chaotic exhausting phase of life!!

Edited November 26, 2017 by Elizabeth86

[craftymama]

:grouphug: for you

 

and a great reminder for me to enjoy this chaotic exhausting phase of life!!

 

So true.  

 

Let the production begin...

 

[marbel]

I hear you.  We are doing something different this year.  token gifts only, and then the money we would have spent goes to a trip during spring break, to a place we all want to go.  My kids have school till the 21st, I think, and my daughter will be working a lot between then and Christmas Eve (retail).  During the week between Christmas and New Years everyone will want to sleep late, watch movies... I'm looking for one or two fun places to go. If weather permits, we will go hiking.  My daughter and I like going downtown to walk around the decorated streets; husband and son not so much.  So we will split up sometimes too.

 

It sure does change.  

[Jann in TX]

I've had those feelings before-- now, a few years later, we have settled into new traditions.

 

In the past we always had artificial trees-- now we have a smaller 'real' tree and picking it out is an evening of fun!

 

Our church has a 'Christmas Eve-Eve' service that we all go to (even middle dd who does not go to church will go to this with us!). 

 

DH has a step brother who lives about an hour away who hosts a family Christmas usually a day or two before or after (used to be Christmas afternoon).  This is something we ALL look forward to... we have a 'dirty Santa' exchange with gifts that have to be in the $50-75 range (with receipts if at all possible).  We literally start shopping in January for these items!  Everyone buys something THEY want and then the fight is on... 3 touches and the gift is out of play.  Most years this is quite animated!

 

At home I pay more attention to what goes into the stockings--little gifts and gadgets... penguins for my middle dd, owls for my oldest, bling for my youngest...

I take care in decorating our 'great room'-- this is MY domain!!!

 

This year each girl had one 'big' item that we were able to budget for... we are also getting them 1-2 smaller things (usually under $20 but wrapped up extra special)--  they will not have many gifts to open and that is fine!

 

Christmas morning is always at our house-- I serve a brunch around 9am-- big girls come over (oldest lives less than an hour away).  We gather around the tree and DH hands out the smaller gifts to the girls, then we open our gifts from the girls followed by the big gifts.  Everyone opens one gift at a time and they must wear the ribbon/bows from their gifts (last year we started an 'ugly sweater' tradition and the ribbons/bows thing was a LOT of fun).  Stockings are last, again one at a time.

 

A quick clean up and then we have 'family game day' (Apples to Apples and Mexican Train)...  we have a home movie theater so we do a family movie too.  This year it will be the original 'Home Alone'.

 

Lunch is usually something grilled-- steak, fish or chicken.  I love to grill and it keeps my kitchen clean!  Dinner is 'fend for yourself'-- sandwiches or leftovers...

 

We do have fond memories of when the older girls were little-- like the year when middle dd fell off a step ladder and INTO the Christmas tree while decorating it and singing 'Oh what funnnnn----aAAAAAAA'   (we have this on video and love to replay it!).

 

Christmas has 'morphed', but we all make an effort to keep it a special FAMILY time.  It works for us.

The magic is still there-- just different.

 

[ktgrok]

I think that's why my MIL was so excited to have babies and small children around again, because it "brought back the magic" to her favorite holiday.

 

One way I've managed to chase down a bit of "magic" is to keep the stocking tradition going, but change it up slightly.  We had always put useful little items in the stockings, but now I listen hard all year, and an adult child is liable to get a bottle of all natural laundry softener (the expensive kind), or something else equally useful and unexpected, but that shows that I'm paying attention to their particular likes and dislikes.

 

It sounds really silly, but Christmas morning was the time we always had the big knock-your-socks-off toy next to the stocking, so I still try to do something fun and a surprise then.

 

Family games really help keep the fun alive!

 

Yes, it's about the personalization. 

 

Also, maybe since the presents are not a big deal anymore, focus on other Christmas traditions? Or start new ones? A baking night together, where they help decorate cookies to drop off at a hospital ER? Shopping together for toys for tots gifts? A family game marathon with a few new board games or new card games, while you drink cocoa or hot cider and have christmas cookies?

 

Try to focus on it being new and different rather than a pale memory of the old. 

 

And remember, someday there may be grand kids :)

[Sneezyone]

There is nothing I deny my kids. When they need something we buy it. When they want something we buy it. My kids aren't spoiled. It's just that they want very little. Even when they were young children, it was hard getting a Christmas list out of them because they didn't want anything more than what they had. They did enjoy Christmas morning and opening their presents but I was never subjected to the 'Gimmee' attitude that some kids have. So there are no such surprises from us. I just buy them their favorite candies for their stockings.

This is kind of where we are too. I mean, all DS asked for was a water bottle, donut, and cookie cake. What does one do with that? His sister asked for an iPhone (which she’s getting and has earned). We’re also taking a three week vacation so whatever they get needs to be portable and small. DS has asked me to decorate tho, which I will. To keep at least *some* magic alive, we have a motto for this time of year “You don’t believe (in the spirit); you don’t receive.†Although, DS is on to my trick of chocolate coal in the stocking. He asked if he should be mean just to get the candy coal.😂

[Pippen]

What about the movies, the cartoons, the hot cocoa, the games, the little things that make the season.  The presents are just one day.  

 

But then we're just headed into the teens so maybe I'm in denial of the future.  

 

What I found with my teens is when they acted like things didn't matter, what it mostly translated into is that they didn't want to participate, for instance in setting up the tree or baking. But it still mattered to them a great deal. They're all away at college now and when they come home I can see how much they enjoy just sitting in a quiet room with just the tree lights on or digging into their favorite cookies and holiday foods. DD rolls her eyes at the cheesy Christmas movies, but we always watch some together. 

 

The gift giving was never a big part of the Christmas magic around here, but I can sympathize because these are the times I'd miss.  

 

 

 

Edited November 26, 2017 by Pippen

[Sneezyone]

Yes, it's about the personalization.

 

Also, maybe since the presents are not a big deal anymore, focus on other Christmas traditions? Or start new ones? A baking night together, where they help decorate cookies to drop off at a hospital ER? Shopping together for toys for tots gifts? A family game marathon with a few new board games or new card games, while you drink cocoa or hot cider and have christmas cookies?

 

Try to focus on it being new and different rather than a pale memory of the old.

 

And remember, someday there may be grand kids :)

I love this advice. In my FOO, once the gifts lost their appeal, we transitioned to a ‘Progressive Dinner’ tradition that culminates in a hilarious and tasteless white elephant gift exchange and a (whole) family game night/ ‘Put Your Foot In It’ cook-off. Grown/folk activities can be great fun too. Edited November 26, 2017 by Sneezyone

[SparklyUnicorn]

It's even worse here.  One kid wanted some old computer parts on e-bay so he got his gift already.  Other kid just wants money.  So there will be next to nothing.

 

My kids are ruining my fun damn it.  :glare:

[unsinkable]

Christmas is the fellowship and the joy of the season. Remembering past Christmases, celebrating life together. a time to stop the busyness for a while and just enjoy each other. It is not the presents. Its the family time.

 

I understand your feelings, but this is the first Christmas since my son died and the first time we will not be together at Christmas. Even though there is a new baby and a new future son-in-law, it will not be the same.

(((Linda)))

 

I'm so sorry about your son.

[SKL]

Yeah, not too many surprises here either.  I do miss that part of it.  And we are not yet to the point where they only want a few items.  I don't think I will miss the volume of gifts that young kids get.  :P

 

Just yesterday I was saying we should change it up in the future and each kid just choose maybe 4 things they really want, instead of a long list of junky stuff.  (Of course my kid responded with, "like a horse?")

[SparklyUnicorn]

Of course it's not JUST about gifts.  Not at all.  Just in general as they get older they don't get so excited about stuff.  My kids still want to bake and do crafty stuff and all that.  So that's cool.

 

I have next to no family and none nearby.  So it's not really about the special time shared with family.  I'm with the special people in my life every single day.  And yes that's not nothing at all, but it's also not anything different at the holiday.  And yes sometimes the holiday time has a way of emphasizing the fact I have no family nearby.  So it can feel a little sucky sometimes.  I try not to dwell on it, but I'm human so...

 

 

 

[Laurie4b]

When my kids were teens, I hit on a solution that enabled them to get clothes they actually liked and satisfied my need for a surprise: We all went shopping together. They would pick out things they liked and try them on. Later, I would go back and buy what we could afford from the selection of stuff that I knew they liked. They always got something that they really liked, but weren't sure which specific item(s) they were getting. 

 

 

[rainbowmama]

Christmas is the fellowship and the joy of the season. Remembering past Christmases, celebrating life together. a time to stop the busyness for a while and just enjoy each other. It is not the presents. Its the family time. 

 

I understand your feelings, but this is the first Christmas since my son died and the first time we will not be together at Christmas. Even though there is a new baby and a new future son-in-law, it will not be the same.

:grouphug:

[Halftime Hope]

Yes, it's about the personalization. 

 

Also, maybe since the presents are not a big deal anymore, focus on other Christmas traditions? Or start new ones? A baking night together, where they help decorate cookies to drop off at a hospital ER? Shopping together for toys for tots gifts? A family game marathon with a few new board games or new card games, while you drink cocoa or hot cider and have christmas cookies?

 

Try to focus on it being new and different rather than a pale memory of the old. 

 

And remember, someday there may be grand kids :)

 

Ooooh.  I like this idea!!  We have 2 stand-alone ERs within walking distance.  How fun would that be?!?  That also solves the problem of needing to keep our sugar consumption to a minimum.  By sharing, we can make all the treats nearly guilt free.  :-) 

 

One other thing that I didn't think to add in my post above, is that we've shifted a bit to doing fun things together that might have a ticket price, as part of our focus on making memories together, instead of having everything be a hold-in-your-hands gift.  (That might be a young adult maturity thing, harder for children to wrap their minds around.)

 

 

[Halftime Hope]

I love this advice. In my FOO, once the gifts lost their appeal, we transitioned to a ‘Progressive Dinner’ tradition that culminates in a hilarious and tasteless white elephant gift exchange and a (whole) family game night/ ‘Put Your Foot In It’ cook-off. Grown/folk activities can be great fun too.

 

Sneezyone, you've got to explain the bolded.  Pleeeze?

 

[ktgrok]

Oh.. how about starting a gag gift tradition? give you stuff to put under the tree, and hopefully there will be lots of laughs.

[SKL]

This will be the second year we're traveling on Christmas day.  It sounds sad to many people, but now that I think about it, maybe it's better now that the "magic of Christmas" isn't so magic any more.  Maybe we should start traveling every Christmas ....

[SparklyUnicorn]

This will be the second year we're traveling on Christmas day.  It sounds sad to many people, but now that I think about it, maybe it's better now that the "magic of Christmas" isn't so magic any more.  Maybe we should start traveling every Christmas ....

 

If I had the money, I'd totally travel at Christmas.

 

Although, that's risky due to the weather, but yep, I quite like that idea.  Distracts me from the negative thoughts.

[Elizabeth86]

Oh.. how about starting a gag gift tradition? give you stuff to put under the tree, and hopefully there will be lots of laughs.

I agree!

[SparklyUnicorn]

Oh.. how about starting a gag gift tradition? give you stuff to put under the tree, and hopefully there will be lots of laughs.

 

Well, as funny as that might all be, my kids don't really have money so...it would be me giving them money to pick out random stuff.  Might make sense if they were adults with their own money.

[mommyoffive]

This will be the second year we're traveling on Christmas day.  It sounds sad to many people, but now that I think about it, maybe it's better now that the "magic of Christmas" isn't so magic any more.  Maybe we should start traveling every Christmas ....

 

I really wanted to do that this year, but my kids are in a show the whole month of December. Otherwise we would probably travel the whole month. 

I had always wanted to be at home for Christmas, but I think traveling would be fun too. 

[J-rap]

I think what has helped us is changing our traditions around from year to year.  So, there is not one set thing that defines that special spirit of Christmas, besides Christmas music of course :) and the fact that most people seem kinder and more willing to reach out to each other - even strangers -- during that time of year.  I love that part.  

 

We've spent some years eating Christmas dinners at airports on layovers, and a few times my dh really pushed for a very minimalist gift exchange.  Some years we're home, and other years we're not and didn't even get a tree.  Either way, it somehow always feels very special and magical.  I will say that our older girls all still get very excited and caught up in the spirit of it.  My ds, not so much.  However, he loves a beautiful concert or holiday play, so we try and attend something like that every Christmas season, and that is very special for him.

 

I feel the Christmas spirit and magic just walking around the mall though looking at Christmas decorations and drinking a peppermint mocha, so maybe I'm a little weird!

 

 

[marbel]

This will be the second year we're traveling on Christmas day.  It sounds sad to many people, but now that I think about it, maybe it's better now that the "magic of Christmas" isn't so magic any more.  Maybe we should start traveling every Christmas ....

 

I don't think it sounds sad at all, as long as you're going someplace you want to go.  I think it's a great tradition.

 

Re gag gifts (not related to quoted post).  My FIL used to do this every year.  I hated it. We had this junk we couldn't get rid of*.  It seemed like such a waste of money too.  

 

*Because it was a gift. This wasn't my deal, but my husband's. His family thought it was rude to return or get rid of any gift ever.

[SKL]

I'm trying to get excited about the various little things that add up to a Christmas season.  Right now it's a big dud because of some work stress.  But I am hoping to still bring up the Christmas story books, watch the Christmas classic movies, enjoy the music, do Christmas cards, maybe find a volunteer gig that isn't already over.  I heard my kids' friend is in the local production of A Christmas Carol, so I should find out if it's too late to get tickets.  My kids are doing a Christmas parade and band concert.  We have to skip some of the stuff because it happens after we leave town, or just isn't worth it on a compressed timeline.

 

On another note, one of my kids' birthdays will also occur while we are traveling.  We have fun stuff planned, but I have a challenge in trying to plan some small gifts I can sneak into my suitcase for both Christmas and birthday.  Most of what my kids have asked for is either big or not useable during travel.  Besides - again, it would be nice to have a couple little surprises.

[Caroline]

So after reading Sadie’s posts on the self-care thread, I decided to put some magic into Christmas for another family. The family across the street has a 4 year old, 3 year old and 1 year old, and they are expecting in June or July, so mom is really tired. So we are taking their kids for a few nights between now and Christmas to do Christmas crafts, decorate cookies, and make presents for mom and dad. I also made the whole family Christmas pillowcases and got them my favorite Christmas book from when I was little. So while my kids are big and want wireless ear pods and a subscription to Netflix for Christmas, we are all going to have fun playing with the kids from across the street. And mom and dad will get a break for some self care. (And I will be making dinner for the kids at my house and mom and dad at their house.)

[HomeAgain]

Caroline, I liked your post but I really wanted to super fluffy heart LOVE it.  That is the best Christmas present ever!

[mommyoffive]

So after reading Sadie’s posts on the self-care thread, I decided to put some magic into Christmas for another family. The family across the street has a 4 year old, 3 year old and 1 year old, and they are expecting in June or July, so mom is really tired. So we are taking their kids for a few nights between now and Christmas to do Christmas crafts, decorate cookies, and make presents for mom and dad. I also made the whole family Christmas pillowcases and got them my favorite Christmas book from when I was little. So while my kids are big and want wireless ear pods and a subscription to Netflix for Christmas, we are all going to have fun playing with the kids from across the street. And mom and dad will get a break for some self care. (And I will be making dinner for the kids at my house and mom and dad at their house.)

 

So sweet of you!

[DawnM]

So after reading Sadie’s posts on the self-care thread, I decided to put some magic into Christmas for another family. The family across the street has a 4 year old, 3 year old and 1 year old, and they are expecting in June or July, so mom is really tired. So we are taking their kids for a few nights between now and Christmas to do Christmas crafts, decorate cookies, and make presents for mom and dad. I also made the whole family Christmas pillowcases and got them my favorite Christmas book from when I was little. So while my kids are big and want wireless ear pods and a subscription to Netflix for Christmas, we are all going to have fun playing with the kids from across the street. And mom and dad will get a break for some self care. (And I will be making dinner for the kids at my house and mom and dad at their house.)

 

We do Angel Tree every year.  And we adopt a family.

 

Yes, it is nice, but still not the same.

[DawnM]

 

 

I feel the Christmas spirit and magic just walking around the mall though looking at Christmas decorations and drinking a peppermint mocha, so maybe I'm a little weird!

 

Walking through the mall would not bring on a Christmas spirit!  

 

Being at Disney World would though!  Wish we could go.

[SparklyUnicorn]

We do Angel Tree every year.  And we adopt a family.

 

Yes, it is nice, but still not the same.

 

Same here.

 

And last year my husband's company invited the family they adopted to have lunch with them.  My husband said they showed up driving a very expensive vehicle that we'd never be able to afford.  It rubbed a lot of people the wrong way.  It's fine...who knows the details behind that, but it's enough of a stretch for us to get our own kids gifts and so giving isn't super easy for us.  We did though.  It's absolutely not the same. 

 

Dang I guess I'm just in a mood today.  LOL

 

I probably should go distract myself. 

[DawnM]

Christmas is the fellowship and the joy of the season. Remembering past Christmases, celebrating life together. a time to stop the busyness for a while and just enjoy each other. It is not the presents. Its the family time. 

 

I understand your feelings, but this is the first Christmas since my son died and the first time we will not be together at Christmas. Even though there is a new baby and a new future son-in-law, it will not be the same.

 

:grouphug:

 

So sorry Linda.  And yes, I am thankful we will all be together.  I am going to presume that at some point they will have their own families and won't be here for Christmas.

 

But I know your son being gone is the worst thing that could possibly happen and I can't even begin to imagine.

[SparklyUnicorn]

Well and to add about less frenzy not being a bad thing.  It's not a bad thing.  Growing up we had more family and we did stuff with extended family and I enjoyed that, but my mother hated it and let us know.  So having that repeated year after year led me to believe there is something to be hated about celebrating with extended family.  I don't have that kind of drama.  So what am I  missing?  Lack of drama? 

 

 

[DawnM]

Oh.. how about starting a gag gift tradition? give you stuff to put under the tree, and hopefully there will be lots of laughs.

 

The last thing we need is more stuff that isn't useful.  I just paid a lot of money to have a professional organizer come help me clean out stuff.

 

:laugh:

[mommyoffive]

Same here.

 

And last year my husband's company invited the family they adopted to have lunch with them.  My husband said they showed up driving a very expensive vehicle that we'd never be able to afford.  It rubbed a lot of people the wrong way.  It's fine...who knows the details behind that, but it's enough of a stretch for us to get our own kids gifts and so giving isn't super easy for us.  We did though.  It's absolutely not the same. 

 

Dang I guess I'm just in a mood today.  LOL

 

I probably should go distract myself. 

 

Same thing happened to me when we donated to the food bank.  

[Twolittleboys]

I guess it is soon time to hope for grandchildren...