High School senior project - Some kids are in for a rude awakening

[momacacia]

It sounds like your DH has a chance to not have interns from this school district again. That gives him an easy solution to not having more slacker kids from that district show up.

 

As a small business owner, I'd be more concerned about retaliation against my property or company. These kids obviously have too much time on their hands and know how to get into trouble with it. I wouldn't worry too much about their graduating or not; there's always next year.

 

I would, however be so insulted and upset at their squandering the valuable opportunity I was giving them at my company (they're basically wasting company time sucking resources from me...I'll teach them and get nothing out of it), and have such little regard for my honesty that they dare send such an email to me. I would probably launch into "shock and awe" lawyer mode. They are essentially making a pitiful attempt at blackmail (sad attempt as they hold no consideration), but it's what it is. And part of the intent of this would be to put the fear of me in them that it they ever come near my property, me or my company they will find themselves in a much worse position.

 

Your husband would just be doing the rest of the world that has the misfortune of encountering these kids a real favor. And, as a business owner, he is very generous to offer these internships to high school seniors. They would be a complete time and energy suck at our company...resources we could otherwise be making a profit with.

[Desert Strawberry]

Just curious...those of you who think my husband should forward the email to the school, would you feel that way even if you knew for sure that doing so would prevent these two kids from graduating with their class because they were lacking this credit?

Yes. Maybe especially if this would stop them from graduating. The earlier this lesson is learned, the more time they have to correct their course in life.

 

This is just so brazen. This must be a very deep hole. Accountability is critical.

[snowbeltmom]

It sounds like your DH has a chance to not have interns from this school district again. That gives him an easy solution to not having more slacker kids from that district show up.

 

As a small business owner, I'd be more concerned about retaliation against my property or company. These kids obviously have too much time on their hands and know how to get into trouble with it. I wouldn't worry too much about their graduating or not; there's always next year.

 

I would, however be so insulted and upset at their squandering the valuable opportunity I was giving them at my company (they're basically wasting company time sucking resources from me...I'll teach them and get nothing out of it), and have such little regard for my honesty that they dare send such an email to me. I would probably launch into "shock and awe" lawyer mode. They are essentially making a pitiful attempt at blackmail (sad attempt as they hold no consideration), but it's what it is. And part of the intent of this would be to put the fear of me in them that it they ever come near my property, me or my company they will find themselves in a much worse position.

 

Your husband would just be doing the rest of the world that has the misfortune of encountering these kids a real favor. And, as a business owner, he is very generous to offer these internships to high school seniors. They would be a complete time and energy suck at our company...resources we could otherwise be making a profit with.

 

This.  It is a time and energy suck.  We get no gain personally from it at all. 

 

[SeaConquest]

The last name thing wouldn't be a big deal to me. In my social circle, kids/teens generally call adults by their first names. But, the rest of it. Wow.

[snowbeltmom]

The last name thing wouldn't be a big deal to me. In my social circle, kids/teens generally call adults by their first names. But, the rest of it. Wow.

 

Interesting.  My kids and my kids' friends all address the adults by their last names.  Some of these kids we have known since pre-school, are now in college, and they still all address us by our last names. 

 

[wintermom]

Sadly, as an employer I am shocked at how many people want to be PAID for shifts they didn't work but were scheduled for. They never get it. Honestly, they may not learn a lesson at all. 

 

Well in this case, the "manager" CAN be the one to have some guts and actually teach something worthwhile. The internship may not have done it, but having a manager who follows through on a no-show could have a powerful and positive impact. 

 

I really hope the OP does do the right thing and let the school know.

[wintermom]

Interesting.  My kids and my kids' friends all address the adults by their last names.  Some of these kids we have known since pre-school, are now in college, and they still all address us by our last names. 

 

 

That would have ticked me off, as well.  There just seems to be fewer places in society where respect through proper names and ranks are shown. Military, martial arts, religious settings and homeschool families are the only places I've seen. Schools are the worst. 

[StephanieZ]

You and my husband are on the exact same page! 

 

 

 

Well, we're both small business owners, supporting our families and building our future with our businesses. 

 

Sorry, folks, but asking a business owner to risk 10s of thousands of dollars in legal fees and/or lost business and/or management time cleaning up after some crazy social media vendetta . . . or even losing their license and/or their entire business . . . that's not fair to ask someone to simply bust a couple of lazy teens. If we were talking reporting a violent crime, sure, I'd risk my business . . . but, for truancy? Uh, nope. 

 

Folks who are urging you and/or your husband to PURSUE this issue don't get it. I'm pretty sure none of them have owned a small business that relies on community goodwill for survival. Being a small business owner can be great, but it can also be hell, and getting in the middle of this mess could easily be hell. Run the other way, IMHO. 

 

Also, FTR, we often have interns/students through our business, and we treat them like employees insofar as expecting professionalism and good behavior. We learned quickly to tell them this at the outset. We're also really picky about who we let "volunteer" or "intern", as it DOES cost us money every hour they are there, and we're willing to invest that in good kids with good intentions, but we're not willing to invest it in lazy, entitled people. 

[Alicia64]

Stealing thread for a second: may I ask what kind of internships the kids hope to attain? (Like w/ your husband?) I'd love to have my kids do something like this when they're seniors, but I'm not sure which companies to contact.

 

Sorry to steal!!

 

Alley

[snowbeltmom]

Stealing thread for a second: may I ask what kind of internships the kids hope to attain? (Like w/ your husband?) I'd love to have my kids do something like this when they're seniors, but I'm not sure which companies to contact.

 

Sorry to steal!!

 

Alley

 

They basically want to learn how a small business operates.  They spend more time shadowing the staff than doing any type of work.  We will give them some simple PR type of stuff to work on, the staff may also give them basic assignments to help out, but that is about it.  Nothing glamorous. 

 

[JFSinIL]

Just curious...those of you who think my husband should forward the email to the school, would you feel that way even if you knew for sure that doing so would prevent these two kids from graduating with their class because they were lacking this credit?

 

Yes.  They can face the consequences, and do a make-up project over the summer or next fall to get their diploma.  They were supposed to show up. They did not. End of story.

 

[Lang Syne Boardie]

That would have ticked me off, as well.  There just seems to be fewer places in society where respect through proper names and ranks are shown. Military, martial arts, religious settings and homeschool families are the only places I've seen. Schools are the worst. 

 

That's not been my experience, at all. If I'm being totally honest, my kids' public schooled friends have better manners and more social confidence/awareness than their homeschooled friends. I'm talking about teenagers.

 

It probably is more about families than about mode of education, though.

[Chelli]

My fear if your husband responds back to the email asking for the kids to call him because this is not acceptable is that they will throw your dh under the bus.

 

They will tell the school and their parents that they tried to do the internship, but your dh wouldn't work them, etc. They will paint themselves as the victim. What they are counting on is neither the school nor their parents contacting your dh and giving them the credit because the "poor little babies" couldn't help it.

 

I've seen the above scenario happen more times than I can count as well. Even to myself when I was teaching school.

 

Your dh needs to send the email to the school. It's the best thing for his reputation and the best thing that could happen to those seniors.

Edited May 7, 2017 by Chelli

[SeaConquest]

Interesting.  My kids and my kids' friends all address the adults by their last names.  Some of these kids we have known since pre-school, are now in college, and they still all address us by our last names. 

 

 

I think that this is very regional, and loosely correlated with parenting philosophy. Most of my friends are of the liberal/progressive/relatively permissive variety, so I understand that this is not the norm in more conservative/authoritarian/authoritative households. I'm only mentioning it because my kids (although they are still quite young) don't have a clue about calling people Mr. or Ms. X. It just isn't the norm for us, even at their charter school (though I will certainly teach them the appropriate use of titles in a professional setting, when they get older).

 

I actually tell any kid who tries to call me Ms. X to just call me Monique, but I seldom ever hear kids around here (coastal San Diego) use titles anymore.  

[SeaConquest]

And honestly, I wish I could say that this situation surprises me. I recently started volunteering in the ER at my local research university/teaching hospital (UCSD). The other volunteers are mostly pre-med students at UCSD, looking to bolster their med school apps with volunteer hours, so presumably, these kids are not slackers. After only 2 months of volunteering, the nurses joke that I am going to win volunteer of the year. I am a relatively lazy, overweight/arthritic, 42 year old (hardly a spring chicken/eager beaver, by any stretch), but the staff told me that most of the volunteers just sit around looking at their phones. They were sincerely surprised that I actually contribute/am productive while on my shift. 

Edited May 7, 2017 by SeaConquest

[bibiche]

The last name thing wouldn't be a big deal to me. In my social circle, kids/teens generally call adults by their first names. But, the rest of it. Wow.

Here too, but we teach DS to always address people formally when corresponding. Better more formal than less, and the recipient can always invite you to use less formal address. I think it is actually fairly important for kids to know this - you only get one chance to make a first impression.

Edited May 7, 2017 by bibiche

[mom2scouts]

Well, we're both small business owners, supporting our families and building our future with our businesses. 

 

Sorry, folks, but asking a business owner to risk 10s of thousands of dollars in legal fees and/or lost business and/or management time cleaning up after some crazy social media vendetta . . . or even losing their license and/or their entire business . . . that's not fair to ask someone to simply bust a couple of lazy teens. If we were talking reporting a violent crime, sure, I'd risk my business . . . but, for truancy? Uh, nope. 

 

Folks who are urging you and/or your husband to PURSUE this issue don't get it. I'm pretty sure none of them have owned a small business that relies on community goodwill for survival. Being a small business owner can be great, but it can also be hell, and getting in the middle of this mess could easily be hell. Run the other way, IMHO. 

 

Also, FTR, we often have interns/students through our business, and we treat them like employees insofar as expecting professionalism and good behavior. We learned quickly to tell them this at the outset. We're also really picky about who we let "volunteer" or "intern", as it DOES cost us money every hour they are there, and we're willing to invest that in good kids with good intentions, but we're not willing to invest it in lazy, entitled people. 

 

Sorry, but you'd be wrong. We owned a small business for years. I still think he should at least let the school know they didn't show up. As a homeschooling parent, I've found that kids like these make it harder for me to find opportunities for my kids who are interested in learning about certain businesses. The lying kids win and the good kids lose out.

[TheReader]

Just curious...those of you who think my husband should forward the email to the school, would you feel that way even if you knew for sure that doing so would prevent these two kids from graduating with their class because they were lacking this credit?

 

I would. 

 

The school would have an option, most likely, for them to fulfill this requirement over the summer. In my state, that would mean they would still get to "walk" at the ceremony, perhaps in the back as "pending meeting requirements" (at least, that is how it was when I was in school), and they would have to fulfill the requirement over the summer in order to actually receive their transcript & diploma. 

 

I wouldn't ignore it, because then he IS covering for them, even if the school never calls, and because if he speaks up now, there *might* be time for them to cram in the hours before the end of school, or at least enough of the hours to show the school they are now operating in good faith to finish the project properly. 

[StephanieZ]

Sorry, but you'd be wrong. We owned a small business for years. I still think he should at least let the school know they didn't show up. As a homeschooling parent, I've found that kids like these make it harder for me to find opportunities for my kids who are interested in learning about certain businesses. The lying kids win and the good kids lose out.

 

Did you own a small business that your family RELIED on to survive? Was its value close to your entire retirement needs? If you'd lost it, would you have lost most of your working years' work and value?

 

And you'd risk it on busting a pair of stranger teenagers for truancy and idiocy? 

 

 

If so, then you are a lot more comfortable with risk than I am.

 

Dh and I have worked way too hard for too long to risk it all on parenting someone else's kids who are suffering from senioritis and special snowflake syndrome. I've got my own circuses and my own monkeys. I'll focus on those -- the ones that are my problem. 

[scoutingmom]

I would also absolutely contact the school to let them know that they never showed up and also the email.

 

Even (especially!) if this was my own child (Whom I hope would never try something like that) I would want you to do this.

 

The internship was to teach about how business works. Well, the interns could have chosen to learn all sorts of great things. Instead they are choosing to learn "If you do nothing and ask someone to cover for you (especially your boss!), you will not succeed and will not get to keep the job or get paid (with credit for doing the internship in this case)." It is sad that this is the lesson they chose to learn. I hope your dh will teach it to them. If not, they will truley learn nothing valid from the internship at all.... or honestly they will learn they can cheat and lie.

 

I would not cover for them (and not contacting the school to even say they never showed IS covering for them).

 

I am sad to hear that you are considering not doing this again. It sounds like previously it was a good experience worth your efforts. I am sad that the very poor behaviour of these kids are ruining it for the future kids.

 

Sent from my SM-T530NU using Tapatalk

[creekland]

Well, we're both small business owners, supporting our families and building our future with our businesses. 

 

Sorry, folks, but asking a business owner to risk 10s of thousands of dollars in legal fees and/or lost business and/or management time cleaning up after some crazy social media vendetta . . . or even losing their license and/or their entire business . . . that's not fair to ask someone to simply bust a couple of lazy teens. If we were talking reporting a violent crime, sure, I'd risk my business . . . but, for truancy? Uh, nope. 

 

Folks who are urging you and/or your husband to PURSUE this issue don't get it. I'm pretty sure none of them have owned a small business that relies on community goodwill for survival. Being a small business owner can be great, but it can also be hell, and getting in the middle of this mess could easily be hell. Run the other way, IMHO. 

 

Also, FTR, we often have interns/students through our business, and we treat them like employees insofar as expecting professionalism and good behavior. We learned quickly to tell them this at the outset. We're also really picky about who we let "volunteer" or "intern", as it DOES cost us money every hour they are there, and we're willing to invest that in good kids with good intentions, but we're not willing to invest it in lazy, entitled people. 

 

Hubby has owned his own business for 18 years now and we rely totally on his income - mine produces less than 10% of what we earn.  He is an engineer relying on folks around here for piece jobs.  He's had kids shadow him (done junior year here).

 

I also work in a school and know how my school would respond if I contacted the person in charge of senior projects to talk with them quietly about it.

 

It's not nearly as bad as you're thinking it will be.

 

He's FAR more likely to get maligned if he does nothing and THAT gets found out about later via kids running their mouths about how they conned the system.  Then folks will wonder what kind of lying, cheating business he's running.

[SeaConquest]

I do take Stephanie's point seriously. Snowbeltmom, I don't know what kind of small business you run, but if it is something that relies on online reviews (e.g. Yelp, Facebook), I would think seriously about taking any risks. A smear campaign by anonymous, vindictive teens could have a serious financial impact on a small business.

 

ETA: I would certainly tell the truth to the school, if they called. I am just not sure that I would go running to the school myself. I don't know.

Edited May 7, 2017 by SeaConquest

[creekland]

ps  No one is saying he ought to post his response on FB...

[Lang Syne Boardie]

I thought the deal was that the people in charge would follow up with the business owner. That's what the email was ABOUT. So he doesn't have to go volunteer anything; just wait for the call and say, "I've never met them; they never came to work." What else would he say, to protect his own hide? Lie, like the kid suggested? That's ridiculous.

[SparklyUnicorn]

Thinking about this some more.  I think the whole concept of a senior "project" at the end of senior year is rather ridiculous.  As if some of them haven't been asked to jump through enough hoops in the past 4 years (trying to get into college, grow up, work miracles with APs, jobs, sports, etc. etc. etc.).  Doesn't make the fact what the kid(s) did with asking the business to lie less terrible, but yeah the concept of the project stinks to begin with.

 

 

[Kerileanne99]

If I had a dollar for every similar email my hubby receives from university students (at a private Christian Uni) essentially laying out the same situation/request/brazen entitlement...

 

Some are more carefully couched, and some or even more aggressive and blunt.

 

The more outrageous are often the passive/aggressive, 'fear' version:

Dear so and so...

I know I haven't shown up for class this year, but I have a lot going on in my life...I meant to drop, but was unable to because of x,y,and z. I know that you don't offer extra credit, but if YOU don't give me a passing grade I will lose my scholarship and my parents will lose their house, and I will work at McDonald's forever. I am willing to do anything if you can extend a bit of understanding and courtesy.

Thanks,

Student A

 

I wish I was joking, but this is now ridiculously common. He once received a similar email...then was barraged by emails from the parents (which he was required to ignore other than a standard privacy reply!) until the student went to the dean and filed paperwork to allow it...hubby ended up going in over the Christmas holiday to listen to the parents explain, in detail, why they were hoping he could see their way to 'the gray area.'

 

Luckily, he also gets lots of amazing, hard-working students that are amazing, thoughtful, and respectful...

But our experience is that this behavior is absolutely common and cliche these days:(

[teachermom2834]

If I had a dollar for every similar email my hubby receives from university students (at a private Christian Uni) essentially laying out the same situation/request/brazen entitlement...

 

Some are more carefully couched, and some or even more aggressive and blunt.

 

The more outrageous are often the passive/aggressive, 'fear' version:

Dear so and so...

I know I haven't shown up for class this year, but I have a lot going on in my life...I meant to drop, but was unable to because of x,y,and z. I know that you don't offer extra credit, but if YOU don't give me a passing grade I will lose my scholarship and my parents will lose their house, and I will work at McDonald's forever. I am willing to do anything if you can extend a bit of understanding and courtesy.

Thanks,

Student A

 

I wish I was joking, but this is now ridiculously common. He once received a similar email...then was barraged by emails from the parents (which he was required to ignore other than a standard privacy reply!) until the student went to the dean and filed paperwork to allow it...hubby ended up going in over the Christmas holiday to listen to the parents explain, in detail, why they were hoping he could see their way to 'the gray area.'

 

Luckily, he also gets lots of amazing, hard-working students that are amazing, thoughtful, and respectful...

But our experience is that this behavior is absolutely common and cliche these days:(

My dh gets these. One involved telling dh that if he didn't pass the student, the student was going to lose his job and visitation with his children. Regularly he is told that the student will lose a scholarship, job, etc if he doesn't pass the student. He just got one from a student who was set to graduate. She listed all the family members that had hotel reservations and he had to pass her because all those people were planning to attend graduation. In all cases the students just flat out did not submit the work. The thing is- this is so common that it must work much of the time.

[Anne in CA]

My dh gets these. One involved telling dh that if he didn't pass the student, the student was going to lose his job and visitation with his children. Regularly he is told that the student will lose a scholarship, job, etc if he doesn't pass the student. He just got one from a student who was set to graduate. She listed all the family members that had hotel reservations and he had to pass her because all those people were planning to attend graduation. In all cases the students just flat out did not submit the work. The thing is- this is so common that it must work much of the time.

This is so disturbing to me that so many college students are doing this. Most of the people who want me to pay them for shifts they didn't work are marginal people on the fringe of society I was trying to give a chance to. I am really wowed by this. 

[Lori D.]

Ug.  :sad:  :eek:

 

In an effort to extend grace just on the very low chance that the students have been pranked by someone else, but to help save face for everyone (and prevent potential backsplash on your DH), I think I would directly address the students and school simultaneously, proceeding as though you see it as a miscommunication, and that you can discuss trying to arrange an alternative date for the internship.

 

And when DH meets with them, if DH has a really bad vibe from the students and senses this is going to continue to be more trouble than it's worth, then, "gee, that's too bad, there's nothing open for the next 2 months for rescheduling -- hey, can they try rescheduling with another business on the school senior project program's list??" Below is my suggestion for a letter. GOOD LUCK! Warmest regards, Lori D.

 

 

"Dear __(student names and school administrator name)___,

On ___(date of agreement with the students)___, our business, ___(name of business)___ committed to host ___(names of students)___ in a ___(name of the high school)___ senior project internship, which was slated for ___(# of total hours of the internship)___, and was scheduled to be fulfilled by the students on ___(dates of internship)___.

 

When the students did not check in on the scheduled dates, we assumed there had been some mix-up in dates, or that there had been a change in the senior project program, and in an oversight, we had not been informed. Then, on __(date of the email)___, we received an email (see screen shot below), which appears to be a request of confirmation of fulfillment of attendance of the internship that has not yet occurred.

 

Concerned that an email account may have been hacked and that the email was a hoax, or that there has been some miscommunication somewhere along the line, we felt it best to contact all parties involved -- first to alert to a potential breach in email security, but also to learn if the internship has been cancelled -- or, if the internship has not been cancelled, how we might all proceed from here.

 

If there is a need to reschedule the internship hours to different dates, our business would like to accommodate, but our ability to do so is very limited, as at this time of year our schedule rapidly becomes too full to offer alternative dates. We would like to resolve this misunderstanding quickly so that if we are unable to provide alternative dates, arrangements for an internship with an alternate business can be made.

 

Looking forward to quickly being able to resolve this situation to the satisfaction of all. Sincerely, __(DH's name)___

 

 

"Hey D*, it's B.W.  Just a heads up, our school might be randomly calling community sponsors like yourself and checking in on how senior projects are going. Hopefully they haven't called you yet but if they do: I was supposed to be there Monday, Wednesday, and Friday of last week and A was supposed to be there Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. If they ask, it'd be great if you could tell them it's been going well and there have been no problems and if they ask what we have been doing, just name some different parts of your staff that you have delegated us to . Thanks a lot and hopefully we'll see each other some time next week haha."

 

Edited May 7, 2017 by Lori D.

[hopskipjump]

Reading the OP and the replies that followed with similar experiences....

 

 

:huh: :ohmy: :scared: :eek: :bored: :blink: :wacko:  wow is right!! I'm speechless!!!
 

[TX Native]

After thinking on this a bit and rereading the student letter, I wonder if this was the progression of events. The school usually doesn't verify attendance and it got around by word of mouth in the slacker clique. In past years, a student or two skipped out in the internship, the lack of attendance was never reported, and the couple of slacker students faked the presentation as if they had done the internship. This school year, a friend or two skipped out last week, but had the misfortune of having the company report the absence to the school. The school doesn't disclose how they found out to protect the companies from getting falsely slandered by the students, so the busted students think the school is calling to check companies to check in on student progress this year (unlike in past years.). Your dh's interns are thinking, "Oh, carp, I hope they haven;t called D yet! We've got a hole to dig out of it. Maybe we'll get lucky and they haven;t called him yet! If not, maybe he is a cool guy that will help us out!" Since the letter states, "Hopefully they haven't called you yet....," the students truly don't know if they have been reported already. If your dh calls the school Monday morning to report the date confusion and no shows (and the company is so very sorry, but since he thought the students had alternative project arrangements when they didn't show up, other arrangements were made by the company that unfortunately doesn't allow for internship to continue) , the students will never truly know that your dh ratted them out, they will just think they sent the email too late. For all they know, your dh only checks his emails in business hours and maybe hasn't even read the email. If the students show up Monday morning, dh can just claim cluelessness about the email but say, "I'm sorry, but I assumed you had a different plan for a project when you didn't come last week, so our company made other commitments for this week that does not allow for student observation. I wish we could chat, but I have something I have to tend to right away. Goodbye and have a nice day." Honesty and openness is truly the best policy, but this is a way I can see your dh exiting this mess without covering for anybody, without appearing to rat someone out in a way that may cause false slander to his business, and not having to have it take up more than 15-30 min of his time.

[bettyandbob]

I would not respond to the student who sent the email.

 

I would forward the email to the school contact person and copy principal and guidance counselors (people in charge of checking graduation requirements). When I forwarded the email my note would ask for direction from the school on how I as the business owner/internship supervisor am to proceed. I'd also say that the school should take my business off their list of businesses used in the future.

[Tree Frog]

Thinking about this some more.  I think the whole concept of a senior "project" at the end of senior year is rather ridiculous.  As if some of them haven't been asked to jump through enough hoops in the past 4 years (trying to get into college, grow up, work miracles with APs, jobs, sports, etc. etc. etc.).  Doesn't make the fact what the kid(s) did with asking the business to lie less terrible, but yeah the concept of the project stinks to begin with.

 

This happens at my kids' school. Once the AP's are done, teaching is done for the year. There are still 4 weeks of school left, though, so teachers fill them with projects. It's the part of the school year my kids dislike the most because it feels like busy work.

[bettyandbob]

At this point I wouldn't argue whether the internship is a necessary graduation requirement. The time to do that was last fall. Presumably the students have known all year this was coming.

 

I can see it both ways--very useful and a waste of time. At the very least there are some basic work skills here: make a commitment to work and show up. If one doesn't have those skills it's pretty hard to be employable. Perhaps now is the time to learn that lesson.

 

I think if diplomas and transcripts are not with held, certain privileges​ could be taken away ( participation in graduation ceremony, senior trip, prom, school grad party, any student honor awards).

[SparklyUnicorn]

This happens at my kids' school. Once the AP's are done, teaching is done for the year. There are still 4 weeks of school left, though, so teachers fill them with projects. It's the part of the school year my kids dislike the most because it feels like busy work.

 

But would this project be something that could be done during school hours and do students have access to transportation to the job sites?  Then I'd say, ok.  Otherwise?  No, not ok IMO.

 

I realize this is a separate argument, but I can certainly imagine why getting such a project done would be HIGHLY problematic for some students.  It could be that some students are truly slacking off, but I would not assume that is always the case. 

[goldberry]

Interesting.  My kids and my kids' friends all address the adults by their last names.  Some of these kids we have known since pre-school, are now in college, and they still all address us by our last names. 

 

 

This is a cultural/geographical thing here.  Where I used to live no one did it, here everyone does.  One older teenager I asked specifically to call me by my first name and she refused.  I thought that was weird.  If you are doing it out of respect, you should follow the wishes of the person.  But maybe she had a rule or something.

[Plink]

 

Sorry, folks, but asking a business owner to risk 10s of thousands of dollars in legal fees and/or lost business and/or management time cleaning up after some crazy social media vendetta . . . or even losing their license and/or their entire business . . . that's not fair to ask someone to simply bust a couple of lazy teens.

 

Folks who are urging you and/or your husband to PURSUE this issue don't get it. I'm pretty sure none of them have owned a small business that relies on community goodwill for survival.

Well that's extreme.

 

As a business owner who depends on our reputation for our entire livelihood, I have to disagree. We would never compromise a contract (or agreement) with our community out of fear of possible retaliation.

 

In this case we would probably respond directly to the students and blind cc the school, politely declining their request and offering alternative dates or explaining that alternative make-up dates are unavailable. If they get back in tough to remedy the situation, great. We'd carry on as usual (and yes, volunteer labor is almost always a net loss for the business owner). If they still don't show, the school has the info they need to proceed accordingly.

[Guest]

Well, we're both small business owners, supporting our families and building our future with our businesses.

 

Sorry, folks, but asking a business owner to risk 10s of thousands of dollars in legal fees and/or lost business and/or management time cleaning up after some crazy social media vendetta . . . or even losing their license and/or their entire business . . . that's not fair to ask someone to simply bust a couple of lazy teens. If we were talking reporting a violent crime, sure, I'd risk my business . . . but, for truancy? Uh, nope.

 

Folks who are urging you and/or your husband to PURSUE this issue don't get it. I'm pretty sure none of them have owned a small business that relies on community goodwill for survival. Being a small business owner can be great, but it can also be hell, and getting in the middle of this mess could easily be hell. Run the other way, IMHO.

 

Also, FTR, we often have interns/students through our business, and we treat them like employees insofar as expecting professionalism and good behavior. We learned quickly to tell them this at the outset. We're also really picky about who we let "volunteer" or "intern", as it DOES cost us money every hour they are there, and we're willing to invest that in good kids with good intentions, but we're not willing to invest it in lazy, entitled people.

First, that is a bold assumption! I think you'll find that many of us are small business owners and not as a hobby. We get it.

 

Second, I think you're getting a little extreme. If the OP forwards the email, the school will come up with some other lame assignment that the kid can do to graduate. No one will have their life or reputation ruined. Most likely, not a damn thing will happen to this kid.

 

I'm not going to not do what I think is right out of some melodramatic fear.

Edited May 7, 2017 by Moxie

[Robin M]

Folks who are urging you and/or your husband to PURSUE this issue don't get it. I'm pretty sure none of them have owned a small business that relies on community goodwill for survival. Being a small business owner can be great, but it can also be hell, and getting in the middle of this mess could easily be hell. Run the other way, IMHO. 

As a small business owner for the past 29 years, yes we are perfectly aware of what bad word of mouth can cause and we are proactive in squashing false reviews, etc.   I seriously doubt it will cause a huge mess as it's two students who are trying to get out of something they are responsible for doing as a requisite to graduate.  Blowing it all out of proportion won't help. 

Edited May 7, 2017 by Robin M

[TechWife]

nm 

 

Edited May 7, 2017 by TechWife

[SparklyUnicorn]

I wouldn't say anything unless they called me and asked.  I wouldn't lie, but I wouldn't bother dealing with it either.  Why?  I'm sure you have better things to do.  It stinks, but yeah....

 

 

[Guest]

I wouldn't say anything unless they called me and asked. I wouldn't lie, but I wouldn't bother dealing with it either. Why? I'm sure you have better things to do. It stinks, but yeah....

Forwarding an email takes very little time.

[Guest]

I know I'm posting too much in this thread but this ish is constant!! My son is a rule follower. He works hard to do his best, does the extra credit just in case, does what he is supposed to do. About half the time, the loser kid who doesn't try in the slightest is given a pass. People are too busy, too tired, worried for the poor kid, just plain ole don't want the hassle so loser kid gets zero consequences and learns how to work the system. It is infuriating!!

[SparklyUnicorn]

I know I'm posting too much in this thread but this ish is constant!! My son is a rule follower. He works hard to do his best, does the extra credit just in case, does what he is supposed to do. About half the time, the loser kid who doesn't try in the slightest is given a pass. People are too busy, too tired, worried for the poor kid, just plain ole don't want the hassle so loser kid gets zero consequences and learns how to work the system. It is infuriating!!

 

I get that.  It IS frustrating.

[Barb_]

I wouldn't say anything unless they called me and asked. I wouldn't lie, but I wouldn't bother dealing with it either. Why? I'm sure you have better things to do. It stinks, but yeah....

Silence implies consent.

[SparklyUnicorn]

Silence implies consent.

 

I don't know what it implies.  I'm just saying what I'd do.  Doesn't mean anyone has to agree. 

[Barb_]

I don't know what it implies. I'm just saying what I'd do. Doesn't mean anyone has to agree.

Yes I know, but that's why I said it. All of the back and forth on this thread can really be summed up with that idea. Refusing to address the email implies this is a normal way to handle the situation. Speaking up is often uncomfortable and may have consequences, but the willingness to do the right thing is what makes society function properly

[Barb_]

Also, I didn't mean it personally. I used your post as a jumping off point to make a more general point :)

[SparklyUnicorn]

Yes I know, but that's why I said it. All of the back and forth on this thread can really be summed up with that idea. Refusing to address the email implies this is a normal way to handle the situation. Speaking up is often uncomfortable and may have consequences, but the willingness to do the right thing is what makes society function properly

 

I don't agree with the requirement in the first place.  So it would be hard for me to get too upset about it.  I'd be annoyed by being asked to lie, but not quite sure I'd have the result I wanted by doing anything about it.

[TechWife]

Yes I know, but that's why I said it. All of the back and forth on this thread can really be summed up with that idea. Refusing to address the email implies this is a normal way to handle the situation. Speaking up is often uncomfortable and may have consequences, but the willingness to do the right thing is what makes society function properly

 

Yes, this is what forms and protects a positive culture. We all have a part!