Picky eater wants to keep buying lunch at school

[DawnM]

Ugh.  We have one son who is a very picky eater.  Very.  

 

We are telling him he will have to take his lunch next year to school as we are paying $150/mo (sometimes more) for both boys to eat hot lunch at school and we need to be more aggressive about saving for college coming up.  AND this particular son has more of a weight problem.

 

But he is complaining that he doesn't want to eat "just sandwiches."

 

School lunches consist of hamburgers and hot chicken sandwiches anyway!   He will get the chef salad on very rare occasions.

 

Maybe I need a small thermos that would keep hamburger meat hot or chicken breast hot?????  Is there such a shaped thermos?

 

Other suggestions?

 

This is the short list of things he will not eat/doesn't like.  There are more, but I am tired and can't think.

 

No Hummus

No boiled eggs

No sauces.....he likes things plain

 

 

Suggestions????

Edited April 25, 2017 by DawnM

[Monica_in_Switzerland]

  Hot dogs will fit in a thermos filled with boiling water in the AM.  

 

 

 

 

[DawnM]

  Hot dogs will fit in a thermos filled with boiling water in the AM.  

 

 

He doesn't like those either!

 

I think he buys the salads when they only offer corndogs or hotdogs.

[Pink and Green Mom]

Does the cafeteria have a microwave where he can warm things up?  Most of the schools around here do, I know my son's does.

[SparklyUnicorn]

Does the cafeteria have a microwave where he can warm things up?  Most of the schools around here do, I know my son's does.

 

Wow, that sounds like a luxury to me!

[DawnM]

Does the cafeteria have a microwave where he can warm things up?  Most of the schools around here do, I know my son's does.

 

 

There is one, but I am hearing there is always a line.

[fairfarmhand]

Cold grilled or fried chicken. Cold cuts stuffed in a pita pocket. And my people prefer sub type sandwiches over sliced bread. Especially when topped with thick sliced meat and cheese. Cheese sticks yogurt hummus and crackers wrap type sandwiches

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[gardenmom5]

dudeling is uber picky. and he too wants a hot lunch. (and a hot breakfast)  he won't eat sandwiches on a good day.  he'd rather starve.   (he won't eat cold cereal either)

 

I have a couple soup-sized (pint?) thermoses. it's usually pasta, or asian food, or similar that he will eat.  somethings I have to cut up just to get it in there - but he'd have to cut it to eat it.

I use a regular drinks thermos to send a hot dog - put it in hot water so it will stay hot.  he assembles at school.

 

I had one who only wanted to buy lunch - I couldn't afford it and made a deal he could buy it once a week.  he was much too impulsive to stick with that deal and I'd get notices from the school he needed money for his account.  he'd also raid my cash stash . . . . good thing he was cute. . . . .now he (mostly) pays his own bills.  

 

 

[DawnM]

What about if you sit down and go through the school menu with him, figure out what he is eating off it, and try to recreate that? You could even have him help you assemble the lunches the night before.

 

How old is he? Another option is to have him pay for his lunches. Once my oldest had a job, DH and I paid for pizza day lunches at school and she payed for any days beyond that.

 

A third option is a kind of hybrid of the 2. Sit him down and explain that you can only spend $x on his lunch this month. Then go through the menu and have him decide what days he wants to buy and then help him plan what to bring on the days he can't afford to buy.

 

He is 17 and does have a job.  I honestly don't even want to give him that option.  He makes about $300/mo at his grocery store job.  I honestly would be very upset if he spent $100/mo on food.

[SparklyUnicorn]

Well, I don't know. I might just continue to pay for the lunches and try to cut elsewhere if possible.  Spending the money might also be worth your sanity.  KWM? 

[DawnM]

DH says to just tell him, "This is how much I will pay and once the money runs out for the month it is gone. Monitor it yourself and plan accordingly."

 

 

[Junie]

I have never liked cold sandwiches, but I can tolerate them if they are served on hamburger buns or French bread instead of sliced bread.  It would be a little bit more expensive, but probably cheaper than the school lunch.

[DawnM]

Well, I don't know. I might just continue to pay for the lunches and try to cut elsewhere if possible.  Spending the money might also be worth your sanity.  KWM? 

 

We are looking at ways to cut and there are really only a few right now.  This is one of them.

 

We have two children going to college in the Fall of 2018 and we just have got to cut and save right now.  And we are moving, so we will have to pay out of state tuition for a full year.

 

Oy!

[SparklyUnicorn]

We are looking at ways to cut and there are really only a few right now.  This is one of them.

 

We have two children going to college in the Fall of 2018 and we just have got to cut and save right now.  And we are moving, so we will have to pay out of state tuition for a full year.

 

Oy!

 

Ugh...yeah...that sounds like a scary prospect. 

 

Is he good about saving his money? 

[DawnM]

Ugh...yeah...that sounds like a scary prospect. 

 

Is he good about saving his money? 

 

Not really.  He has only worked since November, so not sure we have a good picture yet.  He has spent about half of his earnings so far.  All on video games.  

[mmasc]

I know you said no hard boiled eggs, but how about fried? My (younger) picky DS likes an egg on flatbread. That's it. No spices, sauces, or anything. He also likes is all yellow (no yolk/white). So I basically flattened a 'scrambled' egg. :) Crack the egg in a cup, add a little milk and beat together. I cook it flat in a small skillet and put it over a piece of flatbread. You could wrap it in foil to keep it warm probably.

[SparklyUnicorn]

Not really.  He has only worked since November, so not sure we have a good picture yet.  He has spent about half of his earnings so far.  All on video games.  

 

Given that, I might feel less guilty about asking him to buy his own lunch or at least pay for some of them. 

[Annie G]

Have you calculated how much you would spend to pack a lunch for him? It might cost more than you think it will. I'm not trying to discourage the idea, I just see things on financial forums like 'stop spending $10 a day eating lunch out at work and save $200 a month'.  But that doesn't account for the food cost to bring your lunch. 

 

In the beginning maybe you could have him bring his lunch once or twice a week to wean him off the school lunches.  Just a trial to see how it goes- whether the money saved is worth the trade off in time to prep lunch and the added chore of making sure you have lunch stuff in the house. He's 17 and should be able to take all of this responsibility on...but sometimes (especially in the beginning) it turns into more work for the mom. 

[SparklyUnicorn]

Have you calculated how much you would spend to pack a lunch for him? It might cost more than you think it will. I'm not trying to discourage the idea, I just see things on financial forums like 'stop spending $10 a day eating lunch out at work and save $200 a month'.  But that doesn't account for the food cost to bring your lunch. 

 

In the beginning maybe you could have him bring his lunch once or twice a week to wean him off the school lunches.  Just a trial to see how it goes- whether the money saved is worth the trade off in time to prep lunch and the added chore of making sure you have lunch stuff in the house. He's 17 and should be able to take all of this responsibility on...but sometimes (especially in the beginning) it turns into more work for the mom. 

 

I wonder the same thing.  Now sure if he was willing to eat very simple sandwiches then probably compared to what he is buying at school it would be cheaper.  But that's not really the case.  If you'll need to buy special containers, specific food he is willing to eat, etc...it might not be much of a savings. 

[alisoncooks]

NM. :o

Edited April 26, 2017 by alisoncooks

[Janeway]

I would let him eat lunch at school.

 

But here is what I had to do. At the school, I had to put a lock down on allowing my children to purchase extras. They could have the school lunch, but not go back for dessert.  I would have snacks at home they could take if still hungry and they can eat after school too. That cut the cost back.

 

Also, look in to free and reduced cost lunches. I know for reduced cost, you do not have to have super low income.  I was shocked to find out that just for free lunch here, with our 5 children, we could have an income around 50K or so. For reduced lunch, it is even higher.

Edited April 25, 2017 by Janeway

[Janeway]

Or you could compromise and say school lunch three days a week, he can pick the days, take lunch two days? Or even better, he could get a job and pay for the lunches he eats at school while you provide the lunch supplies for what he brings from home.

[Scarlett]

Not really.  He has only worked since November, so not sure we have a good picture yet.  He has spent about half of his earnings so far.  All on video games.  

 

 

My 17 year old has been working since last August.  He spends half of his money on food.  I make him save the other half.  He eats out with his friends A LOT.  I don't pay for that.  I feed him at home and if he eats out with his family I pay for that.   He can barely make it home from VoTech by 11:30 without stopping to eat at Quick Trip.  But it has been a good learning experience for him.  He sees how expensive it is to eat out and he will go a full week at a time now without stopping for a snack which can easily run $5 per stop. 

 

I am with your husband on this. 

 

Although I do get your concern about the quality of food he is eating.  Ds is picky in some ways.....and he would rather starve than spend much effort making himself something. 

[maize]

Not really. He has only worked since November, so not sure we have a good picture yet. He has spent about half of his earnings so far. All on video games.

If he is currently spending his earnings on video games why not let him pay for school lunches? Give him the option: take a lunch from home or buy his own.

Edited April 25, 2017 by maize

[Scarlett]

And yes I agree with others to let him have some independence in this area.  I cringe at some of the junk my son eats and on how much money he spends on food....but he is 17 now and he has to figure this stuff out.

[Anne in CA]

Salad in a jar might replicate the chef salad he buys at school... Packing lunch is a life skill. My ds learned to pack food for lunch from scouts and it was one of the best things about scouting, really. He learned how to count the cost of each meal. 

[JustEm]

DH says to just tell him, "This is how much I will pay and once the money runs out for the month it is gone. Monitor it yourself and plan accordingly."

That is what my dad did. We'd get $20 a week for lunch, but they'd also have lunch foods for us at home if we wanted to pack lunch. 90% of the time I just packed and pocketed the $20, which dad was fine with.

[Guest]

$150 a month for two hot lunch for 20 days is a lot...almost $4 a meal. You can beat that brown bagging. Is the money going to double lunches in order to get thru sports practice, powerades, or making up for skipping breakfast at home? Most athletes here find they need a double lunch to make it thru practice so they brown bag higher quality protein instead. A lot of nonathletes eat breakfast at home , and don't want lunch before 11, so they bring fruit or a bagel to eat at 'lunch' and have lunch at home at 230.

 

What to bring? Whatever they eat at home for lunch on the weekends. Making and packing a nutritious lunch is a life skill,no time like the present to learn. Give them a budget and let the learning begin ... and continue over the summer.

Edited April 25, 2017 by Heigh Ho

[vonfirmath]

What about if you sit down and go through the school menu with him, figure out what he is eating off it, and try to recreate that? You could even have him help you assemble the lunches the night before.

 

How old is he? Another option is to have him pay for his lunches. Once my oldest had a job, DH and I paid for pizza day lunches at school and she payed for any days beyond that.

 

A third option is a kind of hybrid of the 2. Sit him down and explain that you can only spend $x on his lunch this month. Then go through the menu and have him decide what days he wants to buy and then help him plan what to bring on the days he can't afford to buy.

 

1. I'm amazed your picky eater will eat at school. My picky eater will only eat at school on chicken nugget day. Otherwise, she takes peanut butter sandwiches. (Or sunbutter when we have it)  With a banana because it is the only fruit she will eat.

 

We put money in their account to buy one lunch a week. My son chooses which lunch he wants to eat at school (If there is two in one week, sometimes he will swap so he eats at school NO days another week in the month)  Otherwise, they take lunches made at home.

[Aura]

He is 17 and does have a job. I honestly don't even want to give him that option. He makes about $300/mo at his grocery store job. I honestly would be very upset if he spent $100/mo on food.

I have a 17 and a 20. I stopped making their lunches a couple years ago. School lunches weren't really an option for various reasons. They get/got an allowance and took care of their own lunches. They did the shopping and packaging and everything. They learned to plan and budget. They got the lunches and snacks they wanted and could usually squeeze a little more out of their allowance for extras. It gave them control and responsibility and freed up valuable time and mental space for me.

 

I highly recommend this approach. I didn't spend any extra on lunches. I simply said that this is the amount I can afford for your lunches. I know it is enough. I've done it myself, but now it is your responsibility. You get to keep any extra, but if you don't take care of it, you don't get a lunch!

Edited April 25, 2017 by Aura

[Katy]

Leftover dinner.

[Carol in Cal.]

I gave DD a set amount per month to use however she wanted, and carte blanche to take whatever she chose from our fridge.

She could save the $ if she ate from home every day, or she could spend it all, or anything in between.

 

What she actually did was bring lunch sometimes, buy lunch sometimes, and buy lunch for her friends sometimes. That last choice kind of surprised me, but I was glad she liked to be hospitable.  

 

I subtly tried to make sure that there was always something good to eat at home.  She like cheese raviolis a lot, and for a while she would cook some every morning and put them into a pint sized canning jar with a little balsamic vinegar.  During that period I made sure to stock salad stuff and fruits for the dinner meals, and also I kept a couple kinds of store bought cookies around that she could take to school and share.

 

My parents gave me the money for lunch once a week, plus milk every day.  That's another solution.

[Aura]

Also, this year, I upped dd's allowance to include her toiletries and makeup. Same process, but she picks and chooses exactly what she wants\needs. Both of us prefer this method. She really appreciates the control and freedom she gets, and I love having her learn responsibility inside a safe place vs. having to start from the beginning when she does eventually move out.

[Aura]

That's pretty much what I do, too, Carol. ☺Kids are always welcome to pack leftovers, but they usually don't unless it's something they really like or they don't have any money left.

[solascriptura]

Have you calculated how much you would spend to pack a lunch for him? It might cost more than you think it will. I'm not trying to discourage the idea, I just see things on financial forums like 'stop spending $10 a day eating lunch out at work and save $200 a month'. But that doesn't account for the food cost to bring your lunch.

 

In the beginning maybe you could have him bring his lunch once or twice a week to wean him off the school lunches. Just a trial to see how it goes- whether the money saved is worth the trade off in time to prep lunch and the added chore of making sure you have lunch stuff in the house. He's 17 and should be able to take all of this responsibility on...but sometimes (especially in the beginning) it turns into more work for the mom.

I once calculated how much one of my kids packed lunches were and it was more than the school lunch price. I give them a decent amount of fruit and that alone was close to $1.50 for each of my 4 kids.

[matrips]

Is it a sensory issue for pickiness or he just prefers different food? We don't necessarily love sandwiches here, but we eat them. Yes, I would prefer to eat a hot lunch every day too! And my dear dh has been taking sandwiches for lunch since we married. It saves a lot of money. Today it was two pbj sandwiches.

I think a 17yo needs to learn to deal with it (unless there are special needs issues involved). He'll be off to college or full time working soon enough. How about he researches homemade lunch ideas and takes responsibility for it? I'd give him the choice of making sandwiches/salad/lunch from the family supplies or buying his own lunch with his job money. Maybe he'll make a pot of chili on the weekends and bring that. Maybe he'll bring some dinner leftovers. (If he likes that, maybe make a little extra at dinner and he can put it aside for lunch.). Point is- I think it's on him to make it work, not you. And I wouldn't really worry about it after that. He might decide sandwiches are okay after all, or he'd rather buy food than video games or he'll find another odd job or he'll find other things he likes to make and eat. People always figure out something when they have to. They rarely do if someone else is taking charge of it for them.

Good luck!

[katilac]

I once calculated how much one of my kids packed lunches were and it was more than the school lunch price. I give them a decent amount of fruit and that alone was close to $1.50 for each of my 4 kids.

 

Right, but I doubt they were getting a decent amount of fruit with the school lunch. You have to compare apples to apples (heh, literally in this case). 

 

I get not wanting to eat sandwiches all the time, but I think the onus is on him to figure out what he does want. I'd give him some suggestions, sure, but in the end there's actually no harm in eating a lot of sandwiches if he doesn't want to figure out alternatives. Honestly, sandwiches are going to be one of the cheapest options, but pretty much anything can go into a thermos, no microwave needed. Food thermoses have a wider mouth to eat out of, and you just chop the meat to fit as needed. 

 

Don't let it bother you if he spends money on school lunch. Consider it his contribution to college savings! 

[DawnM]

Is it a sensory issue for pickiness or he just prefers different food? We don't necessarily love sandwiches here, but we eat them. Yes, I would prefer to eat a hot lunch every day too! And my dear dh has been taking sandwiches for lunch since we married. It saves a lot of money. Today it was two pbj sandwiches.

I think a 17yo needs to learn to deal with it (unless there are special needs issues involved). He'll be off to college or full time working soon enough. How about he researches homemade lunch ideas and takes responsibility for it? I'd give him the choice of making sandwiches/salad/lunch from the family supplies or buying his own lunch with his job money. Maybe he'll make a pot of chili on the weekends and bring that. Maybe he'll bring some dinner leftovers. (If he likes that, maybe make a little extra at dinner and he can put it aside for lunch.). Point is- I think it's on him to make it work, not you. And I wouldn't really worry about it after that. He might decide sandwiches are okay after all, or he'd rather buy food than video games or he'll find another odd job or he'll find other things he likes to make and eat. People always figure out something when they have to. They rarely do if someone else is taking charge of it for them.

Good luck!

 

 

That is pretty much exactly what I told him last night.  He can research ideas.  I even told him I am willing to buy him whatever......hoagie rolls instead of reg. bread, etc.....

 

We will see what he comes up with.

 

We have a finite amount of funds and we need them right now for moving and college.

[DawnM]

I once calculated how much one of my kids packed lunches were and it was more than the school lunch price. I give them a decent amount of fruit and that alone was close to $1.50 for each of my 4 kids.

 

 

But it isn't enough food for a 17 year old, that is why he is buying $5-$6 worth of food in the line!

[DawnM]

And never mind that my youngest is upset that we are cutting cable again.  

 

Between school lunches and cable, we will save about $100 EACH per month, maybe more.  That is $2400 or more!  That is a good chunk towards college expenses.

[Arcadia]

DH says to just tell him, "This is how much I will pay and once the money runs out for the month it is gone. Monitor it yourself and plan accordingly."

That is how it works in my extended family from 1st grade as we all have after school activities. My parents don't cook and I have dinner at my aunt's home as my mom worked shifts as a RN and my dad works late. We have lots of picky eaters in my family but the public schools we attended have big canteens (cafeterias) in a mall food court style.

 

For some of my cousins, they just raid the refrigerator when they get home if they run out of lunch money. All the picky eaters can cook their own meals so it wasn't an issue.

Edited April 25, 2017 by Arcadia

[DawnM]

Well, some combo of this might not be a bad thing though.

 

If you haven't taught him how to create a budget, this might be the time.  Sit him down and say "ok, here's your income from your job, here's your lunch money that we are giving you.  Now, here are your expenses.  You MUST contribute $X to your savings account every month.  Once you get a real job the only way to save for retirement is to pay yourself first, so you will start doing that now.  Then, you have $Y that you have to pay for your work uniforms, $z that you have to pay for your cell phone.  And then here's what you have to spend on lunches, video games, dates, hanging out with friends, how do you want to allocate all that across those things."

 

Or whatever, you get the idea.  Set up whatever expenses and categories you want with him.  He may surprise you.  After he sets aside whatever you require for savings, he may realize how little he has left and decide that it's better to spend that on something else instead of lunch at school.  But the key to learning this is to then leave him to do it, like your DH says.  You monitor the non negotiable things, like how much to save, let him know when the car insurance is due and you expect his portion by a particular date, but let him monitor his spending money and just check in with him every so often. 

 

 

Yes, we have discussed budgeting.  DH and I taught Crown Financial for years.  We have taken the kids through that plan.  

[Guest]

And never mind that my youngest is upset that we are cutting cable again.

 

Between school lunches and cable, we will save about $100 EACH per month, maybe more. That is $2400 or more! That is a good chunk towards college expenses.

Hhave you done the math? How much do you want to spend on lunch per person? Can you stock enough protein and veg for that price? A hoagie roll here is seventy five cents. Too much, a wrap is a quarter. Rice or beans instead of bread is even better value for the money.

 

One tip..pack a bottle and fill from water fountain, don't buy water.

[2squared]

Whatever you do for the picky eater, I would do for the nonpicky one too. Seems like the financial pain should be split between the two kids.

[Annie G]

Do you and dh pack your lunches? Your ds probably eats more than you do but maybe he can mirror what your dh packs to help him get started learning to handle his own lunch prep. 

[DawnM]

Do you and dh pack your lunches? Your ds probably eats more than you do but maybe he can mirror what your dh packs to help him get started learning to handle his own lunch prep. 

 

 

DH does.  I honestly take protein bars and get home in time to eat a late lunch.  I probably should take some food with me.  I just haven't always been good at it.  But I don't buy lunch.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Mini "hamburgers" (ie. meatballs) in a divided bento box.  Add in some salad in one division.  Add in some trail mix or something else he might eat in another. 

 

If he's limited on what veggies he will eat.  Then you might keep the salad (or perhaps some fruit) always the same in a division and rotate the protein. 

 

For protein you could do cheese sticks and crackers, cold fried chicken, little burritos or taquitos in foil to keep them warm. . .  

[DawnM]

Thanks to those of you who offered meal suggestions.  

Edited April 25, 2017 by DawnM

[Annie G]

DH does.  I honestly take protein bars and get home in time to eat a late lunch.  I probably should take some food with me.  I just haven't always been good at it.  But I don't buy lunch.

 

Sounds like your protein bar/late lunch works well for you!  My middle daughter did exactly what you do when she was in high school. She took a bar and had it at lunchtime and when school let out at 2:10 she came home and had lunch.  She hated school lunches. 

 

Having ds pack his own lunches this year will be good practice for next year when he's in college- the cost of food plans can be CRAZY high. One of our kids attended a school where the meal plan cost MORE than buying three meals a day at the cafeteria.  That term we spent more on her meal plan than we did on groceries for the rest of us.  

 

If your ds uses a thermos, remind him to fill it with boiling water and let it sit a few minutes before dumping out the water and filling it. It really makes a difference in how long it keeps the food hot. 

[Arcadia]

School lunches consist of hamburgers and hot chicken sandwiches anyway!

Maybe I need a small thermos that would keep hamburger meat hot or chicken breast hot?????

My DS12 likes cheeseburger and chicken burgers for picnic lunches but no sauce because he doesn't like them soggy when he eats them an hour or two later. He don't mind sauce if eating as soon as the burger is made.

 

We have Zojirushi food thermos and they keep hot sandwiches and burgers hot for about 3 hrs. By lunch time it is room temperature but not cold. Our smaller one is something like this one which has two containers so I could put two food choices or two servings of the same thing.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B004FN2L0A