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at what age does the male of our species feel a compulsion to bathe?


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Yesterday I asked a colleague at work about this, and he thought a moment and then very seriously answered: "Twenty-six?"

 

Okay, I've accepted the fact that I need to remind my just-turned-12-year-old son to bathe. And I've accepted the fact that he will behave as if that request is somehow an insult to his manhood. And I've accepted the fact that he will not use deodorant unless reminded.

 

But why? Why is this not a priority? Why is stinky not only acceptable, but preferable to many males?

 

Please tell me the stinky boys do, eventually, come around....

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My ds will be 12 very soon, and if we never told him to bathe/shower, he probably wouldn't. It's very annoying! :banghead:

 

My guess is he will start to care about being clean and well-dressed when he starts to care what girls think of him. Which will open up a whole new kettle of fish... :001_unsure:

 

Sigh.

 

Wendi

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NNNNOOOOOO!!!! Please say it's before 34! I mean, I'm okay with not showering every day. We have dry skin in my extended family and we all usually shower every other day to help....But, we don't stink! Huck does shower almost every day because I shove him in that direction and I still have to remind him to slap on that deodorant (yes, he's only 8, sigh). But I had hoped by 13 or so it would start to click. If the smelly kids at Tae Kwon Do are an indication however, it's hopeless!

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:) really. My ds is 18, and I walked into his room this morning to wake him up. Wow. Instead of "Good morning" I just choked out "Take a shower." My brother, on the other hand, has showered at least twice a day since he was old enough to shower. He is just that kind of guy. He hates to be sweaty. My brother's advice is that my ds will shower more often when he has a girlfriend that makes him care about how he smells.

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My father was always clean, he shaved, and he smelled nice.

 

My husband works out a lot, but he always showers after. He always showers at least once a day. I can't imagine a husband who didn't shower regularly without prompting.

 

My oldest son has always been very clean and showered every night without any instructions from me. He wears deoderant. I don't remember when he started to need it, but he figured it out before I did, because he's never been smelly. Really, never in my memory.

 

My 10 year old twins? Well, one needs a reminder, the other doesn't. But it's never been a fight.

 

I don't know. In my experience, boys/men are not less clean that women/girls. But I don't have daughters, so maybe they shower three times a day, lol. We do all like to camp, and all of us survive not showering on those outings. But when we are home? We like our baths.

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For our Boy, it was about 15.5, when the girls started really showing interest in him. He has always enjoyed very l.o.n.g. showers, except for the brief period of time from about 12 to 15. So, here, I have to force my kid to take short showers- in no one monitors him, he'll be in there for half an hour.

 

So- yes, there is hope.

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Now mine are the opposite, my three ds's would take 3 showers a day if they could. Morning, after basketball and before bed. I'll trade water bills with you.

 

Oh my goodness. I have three boys and I LOVE your little photo thing. Avatar? Anyway, if I could figure out how to get one, I would want to steal yours.

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My ds will be 12 very soon, and if we never told him to bathe/shower, he probably wouldn't. It's very annoying! :banghead:

 

My guess is he will start to care about being clean and well-dressed when he starts to care what girls think of him. Which will open up a whole new kettle of fish... :001_unsure:

 

Sigh.

 

Wendi

 

dingdingdingding.. I'd say you win the prize. I can pin point when my 13 yr old started caring about his hair, clothing & shower... and her name is Darline. :glare:

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I agree with whomever said it's when girls enter the picture.

 

And, ds, who's 21, will take marathon-empty-the-hot-water-heater showers if I don't bang on the bathroom door and threaten to shut the water off.

 

My son is 11 and does that. :glare: We have a clog in our shower and have been using his bathroom for the last few days and now I know why. His shower head is wonderful. I could stay in there for days.

 

However he will not shower unless told to do so, and he hates to put on clean clothes. I reminded him two minutes ago that he MUST put on a clean shirt in the morning.

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I'm embarrased to admit this but my DAUGHTER is this way. She is 9. She hates to get wet and hates to change clothes (she has issues with clothes anyway). I have to make her change every single day. I have to make her take a bath. She hates the shower. She doesn't care that she is sweaty. She's just beginning to go through the "change" so I'm hoping to see some improvement in this area. Sigh.

 

Now my 6yo boy doesn't care either but he's 6!!

 

Dh showers at least once a day. I shower once a day. I don't get it.

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When we are going somewhere, I have to give such specific instructions:

 

Brush your hair!

Brush your teeth!

Put on clothes that are clean, and you didn't just wear them yesterday, and they have no holes in them!

 

Shouldn't these things be obvious by now?

 

Wendi

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My son is 11 and does that. :glare: We have a clog in our shower and have been using his bathroom for the last few days and now I know why. His shower head is wonderful. I could stay in there for days.

 

However he will not shower unless told to do so, and he hates to put on clean clothes. I reminded him two minutes ago that he MUST put on a clean shirt in the morning.

 

Not to mention clean, um, underwear! Well, sometimes they do that on their own, but it's not a given.

 

To answer OP's question, apparently not at ages 7 and 9 or younger!

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Ron II started showering in the morning when he was about 7...thanks to his sisters. They got him body wash and told him never to stink. He took that advice to heart because 3 years later he still gets up every morning and showers, brushes his teeth and puts on clean clothes. He also showers before bed...he doesn't want stinky sheets. I never say anything to him...he just does it.

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Ah, yes....I believe the compulsion to bathe occurs when this member of the human species observes and discovers his interest in the female of the same species. (LOL). A friend of mine mentioned that her boys preferred not to bathe until suddenly their family was hosting a missionary family w/ an attractive daughter. Suddenly, her boys were showering and paying attention to personal grooming...I think *they* were 15 (LOL). Blessings.

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I was going to also suggest that it likely will happen when they become interested in girls!!

 

That's what worked for my brother! When he started to notice girls, you couldn't get him OUT of the bathroom!! He was stealing my blow dryer and asking for fashion advice! (Of course, I was out in the backyard looking for the alien space pod that contained my real brother! :lol:)

 

My 14yo showers w/o being told...but he hasn't yet discovered girls (thankfully!) ... but my 9yo! Oh, he'd wear the same clothes every day if I didn't tell him to take a shower and put on new clothes. :glare:

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My 14yob now takes a shower everyday without being told for the first time in his life because he's attending private high school and he plays soccer everyday. He comes home from practice/game and showers. He also now takes pride in his appearance because the school requirements are very strict - jacket, tie, dress shoes, clean shaven, short hair cut, etc. They even tell the boys to IRON their clothes.

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Did anyone see last night's 20/20 show? They were doing a segment on some man and his girlfriend...the man loves/lives among/lives like...the pack of wolves he considers his family. The reporter said the man has to keep his 'scent' the same, so as not to disturb the wolves. Which means HE NEVER BATHES...can you imagine?? What's worse is that the woman said it didn't matter to her! :eek:

Ginger

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I think we're the exceptions that prove the rule. My husband only recently stopped showering before he went out to mow the lawn. He showers every morning without fail, showers after anything that gets him sweaty, and would probably stay in there two hours if he could. My 7y/o son is headed down the same path.

 

On the other hand, I shower every other day MAX because here in the desert I would turn into a pile of sand and sawdust with frizzled hair on top. And I practically have to bribe dd (10) to bathe. I think it's because she's got a long mop of very thick hair that takes forever to dry, and she would rather stick needles in her own eyeballs than submit to extensive grooming measures like blow-drying. :glare:

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Right now I force my 13 yo to shower every second day (she really doesn't smell, but her hair gets oily). She's not interested in boys yet.

 

The eldest of my brothers was pretty good about keeping clean, but with the younger two there was an almost overnight change from not caring about being clean to impeccable grooming & styling. My youngest db was always style conscious, though, but my middle one didn't care until he got interested in girls. He's still not a fashion plate, but I think his wife "dresses" him so he is colour coordinated.

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Please tell me the stinky boys do, eventually, come around....

 

So, you are not alone but I can't give you an ending age! We've butted heads more over showers and deodorant than on any single other issue. Go figure!

 

I just made the rule that when mom says to take a shower, you will do it cheerfully, you will use soap, and you will use shampoo.

 

I hear that the next step in maturity is when they start taking hour-long showers and wearing sprays like Axe. Then, my job will be to pound on the door and yell.:lol:

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for ds it was at almost 15 and entering conventional school for the first time. actually, getting him to bathe was never really a problem; he loved taken overly long showers. getting him to use SOAP was the battle. he became more amenable as opening day of high school approached. getting him some 'manly' body washes helped. he settled on the Touch scent of Axe body wash and deordorant.

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My two oldest boys amazed me. At around age twelve they took over their personal hygiene. I never had to tell them to take a shower again. I don't think girls had anything to do with it, but I could be wrong. Ds #2 is close to ds #1 so I think #1 was a positive influence on #2. My next two sons are 13 and 10. They will not do any personal hygiene without being told, though they are cooperative when told. I do think my 10 yr old will be like my older ones because he is more concerned about his appearance. He just doesn't remember to be concerned about the stink yet. I was spoiled by my first two.

 

Cindy

Edited by Cindy in MO
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Guest janainaz

I don't think it's really in their nature, the way they were created to be. They were supposed to be out conquering and getting dirty and we are making boys into something they were not meant to be. I bug my son about his nails, his hair, his clothes and one day he said to me, "MOM! Why do you care so much about being clean? I'm a boy!". But...........there is some truth there. I'm still going to bug him though. It's my job!

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