Why do some people consider swearing wrong?

[Only me]

My young adult children seem to be questioning their beliefs a bit (I talked about it in another post) Of course it's more complex than this but one thing that concerned me was their belief that there is nothing wrong with swearing. Someone pointed out that swearing is cultural not religious and it really has me thinking. Why do some people think swearing is wrong? I'm not debating whether or not it is but the reasons for the believing that it is wrong.

 

My grandparents were very against swearing of any kind. My parents couldn't use words that I don't even consider swear words like darn it or shoot. They were told that those words were too close to other words. My parents wouldn't allow actual swear words but weren't as strict. It was tied to religion for both my grandparents and parents.

 

I taught my children that swearing was wrong but I was more strongly opposed to words such as the F word. I won't say my kids never heard me swear when they were little-mostly if I hurt myself I might say -amn it. I'm not opposed to them saying that now. Now if I'm really mad at my husband I may use other words (And then feel guilty for it because of my upbringing. I know. Silly me.) My husband didn't swear nearly as much as he does now when the kids were young. Now He does especially when he is driving but he goes beyond swearing and will say things that are a lot more vulgar in my opinion. That part really bothers me. I know my kids are grown but I still don't want my 18 year old thinking it's ok to be vulgar (different from swearing)

 

Honestly my kids didn't really swear most of their lives (at least in front of me). I will admit sometimes I would cringe when we would visit my parents and they would say something like dang it. I don't count that as swearing but my parents did. It seems silly now that I worried.

 

When I had a discussion with my 21 year old daughter she also really had me thinking. My kids don't swear in front of me but I've heard them from the other room and my dd also says she is different at college. My daughter's argument was what makes a swear word a swear word? I'm not talking about anything with God in front of it because I do feel that's different. She said who even decided certain words are bad. They are just a collection of letters and most aren't even in the dictionary so do they truly have any meaning besides what people may give them?

 

I really have mixed feelings about this because I was brought up so differently but I do see her point. Of course because society decided swearing isn't proper in certain circumstances my kids wouldn't swear in an inappropriate place (at work, at family gatherings etc).

 

Actually my kids probably swear a lot less than their peers. In fact I don't think I've ever heard my 18 year old swear. I'm sure he might while playing video games with his friends but doesn't in front of me.

 

They've asked me why I feel it is tied to religion and not acting "Christian like" but I didn't really have a good answer for them.

 

Please enlighten me but be nice :).

[Lucy the Valiant]

Because Christians are explicitly and repeatedly instructed to be gracious in speech and careful with words.

 

If you're looking for a non-Christian answer, because a powerful and precise adjective woven skillfully into a criticism is often a far superior way of communicating the original emotion or idea. :)

 

 

(Editing: And they are certainly right that offensive words are culturally rooted; even within different areas of one culture, some things are offensive to some that are not to others. Knowing one's context is a critical prerequisite to appropriate speech - and it's that "appropriate speech" that Christians are encouraged to emulate and employ. It's like any form of manners - a way of showing honor to the other person, putting his wishes above your own. And certainly easier to discuss than to implement consistently!)

Edited January 2, 2017 by Lucy the Valiant

[MomatHWTK]

Ephesians 5:4 is the one that came to mind first, but here is a list:

https://www.openbible.info/topics/using_bad_language

 

Non-Biblical: There is a growing support for using "bad" language because it makes the speaker appear cool and hip. However, the true basis for favoring particular words may stem from the linguistic effect of using hard consonants. Many of the favored curse words employ hard consonants. 

 

Regardless, the usage and abbreviated usage is so common in some forms of communications as to have nearly no meaning. That doesn't mean you have to accept or employ the language. But, you should consider that the other person (presumably arguing in favor of its usage) may have a different perspective on the meaning and context of the words. 

 

There are several studies and articles available online re neurolinguistics and swearing. But, they all contain swear words so click at your own risk. : )

Edited January 2, 2017 by MomatHWTK

[Selkie]

I have no clue about the religious aspect of it.

 

I personally don't find swear words upsetting. What I do find obnoxious is people who brag about swearing like sailors, etc., like that makes them cool. Yawn.  :001_rolleyes:

[Sarah CB]

She's right in some ways - it is just something someone decided. But, it's something that is seen as vulgar to a wide segment of our population. And I think most people who do swear regularly acknowledge that it's not ok to swear in every social situation.

 

It's kind of the same thing with poor grammar. Sure, someone somewhere decided what our grammar rules would be. If you spokes with words that not fits in a grammarly convention peoples would make assumptions about yourself.

 

Same with swearing. How do you want to be seen? What kind of assumptions do you want people to make about you based upon how you communicate?

[mamaraby]

Because langauge is a handy in-group/out-group identifier. Taboos against or use of performs a social function and contributes to group cohesiveness. The justifications will differ, but that's generally why.

[Janeway]

My young adult children seem to be questioning their beliefs a bit (I talked about it in another post) Of course it's more complex than this but one thing that concerned me was their belief that there is nothing wrong with swearing. Someone pointed out that swearing is cultural not religious and it really has me thinking. Why do some people think swearing is wrong? I'm not debating whether or not it is but the reasons for the believing that it is wrong.

 

My grandparents were very against swearing of any kind. My parents couldn't use words that I don't even consider swear words like darn it or shoot. They were told that those words were too close to other words. My parents wouldn't allow actual swear words but weren't as strict. It was tied to religion for both my grandparents and parents.

 

I taught my children that swearing was wrong but I was more strongly opposed to words such as the F word. I won't say my kids never heard me swear when they were little-mostly if I hurt myself I might say -amn it. I'm not opposed to them saying that now. Now if I'm really mad at my husband I may use other words (And then feel guilty for it because of my upbringing. I know. Silly me.) My husband didn't swear nearly as much as he does now when the kids were young. Now He does especially when he is driving but he goes beyond swearing and will say things that are a lot more vulgar in my opinion. That part really bothers me. I know my kids are grown but I still don't want my 18 year old thinking it's ok to be vulgar (different from swearing)

 

Honestly my kids didn't really swear most of their lives (at least in front of me). I will admit sometimes I would cringe when we would visit my parents and they would say something like dang it. I don't count that as swearing but my parents did. It seems silly now that I worried.

 

When I had a discussion with my 21 year old daughter she also really had me thinking. My kids don't swear in front of me but I've heard them from the other room and my dd also says she is different at college. My daughter's argument was what makes a swear word a swear word? I'm not talking about anything with God in front of it because I do feel that's different. She said who even decided certain words are bad. They are just a collection of letters and most aren't even in the dictionary so do they truly have any meaning besides what people may give them?

 

I really have mixed feelings about this because I was brought up so differently but I do see her point. Of course because society decided swearing isn't proper in certain circumstances my kids wouldn't swear in an inappropriate place (at work, at family gatherings etc).

 

Actually my kids probably swear a lot less than their peers. In fact I don't think I've ever heard my 18 year old swear. I'm sure he might while playing video games with his friends but doesn't in front of me.

 

They've asked me why I feel it is tied to religion and not acting "Christian like" but I didn't really have a good answer for them.

 

Please enlighten me but be nice :).

It is dirty language in the same way that your house can be dirty. You wouldn't want to go on public without a shower or have conpany over with the house dirty, right? So why would you want to show dirty language.

[Tanaqui]

This custom of having taboo words is very widespread. I don't know that it's universal, but it's certainly common.

 

What constitutes a taboo word is culturally determined. In the US, for a long time it was religious terms - damn, hell, anything having to do with God. That's why you see funny "medieval" characters saying things like "Gadzooks" or "Zounds!" - those were "minced oaths", ways of saying "God's hooks" and "God's wounds" without actually saying those, in the same way that we might say "darn" or "heck".

 

Nowadays in the US, except for the very religious, that category of word has lost pretty much all heat.

 

After that came words having to do with bodily functions or sex - the "f word", that sort of thing. These were the REALLY BAD ones of my generation, but as you noted, that's fading away now and younger people are more likely to see them as no big deal. Does this mean we don't have real curse words anymore? HAHAHA LMAO.

 

If you spend much time with younger people, you'll start to see that they refer to "the r-word". This is a slur against people with intellectual disability. Perhaps they might report that somebody said "the n-word". This is a racist slur. When I was a child, you might be corrected for using those words, but it wasn't considered bad to say them in reporting. You'd just say "He called so and so a n*****" or "He said she was r*****d" and you wouldn't get in trouble by association. Now, kids won't even do that. So the really bad words for this generation are words that specifically insult other people. Bodily functions? Well, we all poop and most of us have sex, so who cares?

 

This doesn't really answer your question. There are probably dozens of very interesting books and articles on the sociology of curse words, but long story short, what constitutes a "bad word" is culturally determined, and each generation lives in a slightly different culture from their parents.

 

Buuuuut... as a general rule, you should avoid using offensive words around people who will be offended by them. This is social skills 101. If you're talking to your very conservative grandma, don't use the f-word. If you're talking with your friends, and they use it all the time and you don't have a moral stance against it - go for it! (Or at least, don't nag and lecture them for their word choices.)

[Mergath]

Swearing isn't inherently wrong. If you use it to knowingly make someone uncomfortable, that's not really cool. But otherwise, it's all about cultural norms. I mean, different English-speaking countries have different swear words. Someone dropping the c-word here will have everyone clutching their pearls. In other countries? Not so much. Once you accept that they're only offensive because we choose to believe they are, it's hard to get too worked up about it. And they've done umpteen studies showing that swearing isn't negatively linked to intelligence, so the argument that it's the refuge of people who don't know bigger words or whatever is thoroughly debunked.

[Schadenfreude]

It tends to make people sound coarse and uneducated. Many swear words are used inappropriately for their meaning. Do you really want to f that person? Why is she a female dog? That kind of thing. When we lived in Germany the words were used appropriately and no one had a problem but the looks on everyone's faces when an American starting using those words were priceless. We tend to forget meanings when we speak this way.

[Tanaqui]

Because langauge is a handy in-group/out-group identifier. Taboos against or use of performs a social function and contributes to group cohesiveness. The justifications will differ, but that's generally why.

 

Cannot upvote this enough. I have got to stop typing tomes!

[Guest]

I'm musing here:  

 

Maybe because *anybody* can swear but it takes an educated person to find the right words to express ideas.  (NB:  I wrote "write" in that sentence.  :::eyeroll:::). Maybe the reason it was looked down on had a lot more to do with class/education consciousness than with morality per se.

 

In my personal experience, I have found that the language I use changes me.  I don't want to go into it in specifics because I will not doubt sound sanctimonious...but I have found that if I use words that describe the person I want to be, I change over time to match my language.  So, for a not-my-experience example, if I continually focus on using words expressing patience instead of anger, I learn, I sort of teach myself to be patient.  I have had this happen to me.  So perhaps it is not good for me to swear because of the kind of person it makes me.  

[Only me]

I definitely agree with the Bible verses and social expectations of not using dirty language. I guess what I'm asking or rather what my daughter is asking is why is a word considered "dirty". There are words that are explicit in their meanings and to me those are more obvious. For instance why in some circles would darn it or dang it be ok but not damn it. I was always taught by my parents that it wasn't classy in addition to religious reasons. My kids say it is so prevalent in college that even professors (and some high school teachers) use the F word all the time.

[Rosie_0801]

I don't like the shaming involved in turning my body parts into vulgarities.

 

Which isn't to say I don't swear, but I don't use those ones.

[Mergath]

I definitely agree with the Bible verses and social expectations of not using dirty language. I guess what I'm asking or rather what my daughter is asking is why is a word considered "dirty". There are words that are explicit in their meanings and to me those are more obvious. For instance why in some circles would darn it or dang it be ok but not damn it. I was always taught by my parents that it wasn't classy in addition to religious reasons. My kids say it is so prevalent in college that even professors (and some high school teachers) use the F word all the time.

 

According to my linguistics prof in college, several of them go all the way back to the Norman conquest. French was the language of the conquerors, so over time common Old English words like "scitte" came to be seen as crass. A thousand years later, we have "shit" and some strongly ingrained cultural norms.

[Lucy the Valiant]

I definitely agree with the Bible verses and social expectations of not using dirty language. I guess what I'm asking or rather what my daughter is asking is why is a word considered "dirty". There are words that are explicit in their meanings and to me those are more obvious. For instance why in some circles would darn it or dang it be ok but not damn it. I was always taught by my parents that it wasn't classy in addition to religious reasons. My kids say it is so prevalent in college that even professors (and some high school teachers) use the F word all the time.

 

This can actually segue into a FASCINATING study on the roots of "bad" words - similar to learning a 2nd or 3rd language, it is often quite helpful to know the etymology and history of certain words. (And usually a pretty humorous lesson, too!) :)

 

(But maybe I am misunderstanding the question?)

[Guest]

I definitely agree with the Bible verses and social expectations of not using dirty language. I guess what I'm asking or rather what my daughter is asking is why is a word considered "dirty". There are words that are explicit in their meanings and to me those are more obvious. For instance why in some circles would darn it or dang it be ok but not damn it. I was always taught by my parents that it wasn't classy in addition to religious reasons. My kids say it is so prevalent in college that even professors (and some high school teachers) use the F word all the time.

 

The "damn" one is based in not condemning another, I think.  Even a situation...to learn to accept peacefully that which comes my way rather than judging and damning it, or a person.  

 

Also, what Rosie said, above.  And I have to think how to say what I think is the offense in the F bomb, but I can't yet get my words around it.  D*** it!  HAHAHAHA.  I am astounded at how frequently and publicly it is used...and among what groups of people.  :0/

[Arctic Bunny]

I guess I teach it more in the context that they are just words, but certain words or phrases can offend others or give others a certain impression of you. As with many things, you should know your audience. Wearing a tuxedo to a beach party is out of place, just as saying "bloody" to Grandad is out of place. As my boys are only around 11, I still emphasize that there are much more creative ways to say what you mean, and swearing is kind of lazy. That sounds pretty arrogant.... those aren't the words I use, but I can't think of what I actually say right now! I've heard my almost-12yo slip up on occasion, when he and his brother are on their own, but DH and I agreed that he WAS watching WHERE he said it, and in the grand scheme of things, it was very mild.

[Popsicle]

Oh, how I wish there were no such thing as swear words! My son has severe Tourette's Syndrome. The swearing tics began a couple of months ago. I haven't dared to take him to church. I've recently pulled him out of school and will begin homeschooling him this week (he's in 4th grade, I did homeschool him K-2). If there were no taboo words, he wouldn't say them-that's the nature of this disorder. Hearing them repeated by an otherwise sweet, sweet boy has desensitized me to them.

 

I believe if we all accepted the current swear words, new unacceptable words would replace them.

[Charlie]

Because langauge is a handy in-group/out-group identifier. Taboos against or use of performs a social function and contributes to group cohesiveness. The justifications will differ, but that's generally why.

 

The justifications are the most interesting part, lol! Already in this thread, less than a dozen posts in, and swearing is equated with being dirty, uneducated, vulgar, and trying unsuccessfully to appear cool.

 

@OP, there's no rhyme or reason to many taboos. It's just the social behavior flip-side of cooperation. Humans are social animals and so we naturally gravitate towards conformity with a certain amount of "wiggle room." Then outside that wiggle room, you find your taboo behaviors. I think of wear words in that wiggle room. In some micro cultures it's considered uncooperative, in others it's not a problem. Same with slurping soup or finishing all the food on your plate. Depending where you are, these can be associated with being dirty, uneducated, vulgar, or perfectly fine.

[OneStepAtATime]

I agree it is tied to cultural norms.  There was a time when the word "Peter" was tied to a male private body part.  Some assigned meanings go back generations and the original reason is now lost in time.  What applies is how the society in which you function, the people you interact with, will perceive a word.  

 

My parents did not swear at home.  It really was never tied to religion in my household.  It was just considered extremely rude.  For their time and place swear words in general were associated with being rude.  I can remember the first time my dad said a swear word and it was "hell".  I was 13.  I don't think I heard him use another swear word until I was an adult (I knew he sometimes swore at work but at work, in that culture, it was acceptable.)  Words like crap were not allowed in our home, much less anything stronger.  They weren't mean about it.  We weren't punished.  It just wasn't something we did.  Not sure how they conveyed that exactly but I knew it was not a road I could travel down.

 

While I was in school I met a teacher that discussed swear words in class.  Her view was that most swear words are filler.  They don't actually convey much meaning, especially when coming from someone that uses them as filler a lot.  She feels that if you are just using filler swear words, then maybe you need to make a bit of effort to fill your repertoire of filler words with things that are more imaginative, create a more interesting picture, maybe even cause people to pause a bit and ponder what you said.  She pointed out that there are millions of words.  Why not try out some other words that are not just filler curse words?  

 

She also felt that there ARE times when swear words are absolutely being used to convey a feeling/thought/emotion, and a swear word may do that better than another word.  She felt that sometimes those swear words may be quite useful.  But they only work well if they aren't also used a lot as filler words.  They lose impact if they are constantly spoken.  Her point was that if you want a swear word to really have serious impact then using them sparingly, for when they really are warranted in some fashion, will work much better than if you are known for using them as filler.  I remember chewing on that for quite a while.  :)

 

In college I had a professor that felt as your daughter does, that swear words are just sounds coming out of our mouths or letters on a page.  He didn't think they were a big deal.  They only have the meaning ourselves and our society conveys on them and if someone chooses to use them then so what?   Pretend the word has a different meaning if it bothers you.  However, he pointed out that to exist and function well within your society you need to understand how others may perceive you by using different words, wearing different attire, etc.  If you want to get a job as a teller in a well respected bank, walking in swearing at everyone in words that locally are considered swear words and dressed in a t-shirt with some local swear word printed on it probably won't get you the job.  If you are dating a person who is highly offended by curse words, then sticking one in every sentence will probably not get you past the first few dates.  Speak as you feel you want to but you need to be willing to accept that your choices will have impact on others, whether you think it should or not.  This is how society functions.  I chewed on that for a while, too.

 

Me personally, even now, I do not choose to swear much at all.  I find I don't need to.  I have a lot of words I can use for "filler" or to convey meaning.  However, once in a while a swear word has helped to convey my feelings far more effectively than other types of words.  

 

For example, I dearly adored my dad but he tended to be rather sexist regarding women and cars.  I was in college, still a teenager, had come home for the weekend and had tried a couple of times to explain to Dad that I thought something was wrong with my car.  He blew me off every time.  Then he had to drive my car.  I remember he came flying into the house really livid that I had not told him there was something wrong with the car.  When I tried to tell him I had mentioned it before he didn't believe me.  He told me I had no idea what I was talking about and we had never had such a conversation.  Nothing I said was having an impact.  He just kept ranting about how expensive an investment a car is and I should be taking care of mine.  When I tried again to tell him that I had already told him something was wrong but he had blown me off he was too wound up to really listen.  He again yelled at me and insisted that wasn't true.  I had had enough.  I told him quite clearly "Bullsh*t".  It stopped him cold.  And he took the time to calm down, think through our previous conversations that weekend and to realize I was right.  If I cursed all the time it would have had little impact and probably would have just escalated the yelling from his end.  Instead, he realized I was dead serious, I was VERY upset at how he was treating me, I was not going to be bullied into letting his version stand and that he needed to back down and discuss instead of yelling at me.

 

I do understand that most curse words are pretty harmless in the grand scheme of things.  DH curses upon occasion.  So do my in-laws upon occasion.  It is mainly just filler, and something to add a bit of "color".  The kids know that I do not feel that when others use curse words that I think they are bad people, or have failed in some way.  Just because I choose not to curse does not mean I feel others have to follow the same path.  The kids DO know, though, that people will judge you on word choice and action.  They are learning how to judge when a curse word might be needed and when another word might be a better choice.  

 

There ARE words that are not just curse words, though.  Those words can demean someone, or insult someone, or bring up vulgar or horrifying images.  Yes, they are just sounds/letters, but in the society in which I live that particular combination conveys a particular meaning that is offensive.  Those words, IMHO, are not appropriate to say.  Those words can harm.  The kids know, as does DH, that those are words I will never be happy having someone say in my household and I will never speak to someone else.  It doesn't have to just be a curse word that harms, though.  Many words can harm.  

 

Is my response long enough for you?  (I apologize if I didn't actually answer your question.)  :)

[Only me]

This can actually segue into a FASCINATING study on the roots of "bad" words - similar to learning a 2nd or 3rd language, it is often quite helpful to know the etymology and history of certain words. (And usually a pretty humorous lesson, too!) :)

 

(But maybe I am misunderstanding the question?)

I actually find it somewhat interesting especially how some words in other languages aren't considered bad and vice versa. I'm definitely interested in the origin of how swear words were even developed.

 

I came from an upbringing of certain words were wrong-no debate. I feel sorry for my mom especially since so many words were bad. I'm not one to swear a lot at least by today's standards but it would have been very difficult to live by those rules. My mom couldn't even say gosh :(

[SparklyUnicorn]

I don't think the swearing is a problem.  At least for me it's not at all, but the intention could be.  If you are angry and swearing at someone or calling them anything you aren't intending to be kind then sure I get why people don't like that.  But random swearing aimed at nothing with feelings, who the fork cares. 

 

It just makes me think someone is looking for a reason to point out that someone has screwed up.  Like how many things is a person going to tear apart a person for?  I tell my kids some people don't like swearing so don't swear around them.  Otherwise, whatever.  I'm not looking for whatever reason I can to trip them up.  They didn't invent these words.

 

 

[Only me]

This. I rarely say the F word, and I try to use it only when I'm extremely agitated.

My son had to explain to me what ...AF meant a few months ago. One thing I saw recently that nearly made my head explode, lol, was a pic of a baby onesie with ' dainty as f#ck' painted on it. Most of the women commenting loved it, said it showed how strong females are. ? I found it disgusting.

A Facebook friend of mine posted a picture with her sister. She is an adult but I just didn't get the humor in her shirt that contained the F word 8 times-F it, F him, F her etc. I just find it in poor taste.

[Guest]

Swearing indicates lack of ability to control one's emotions..a problem if in a society where control is expected. Not a problem if one is an old salt.

[shinyhappypeople]

Haven't read all the replies yet, but the ones I find personally offensive are ones that denigrate others.

 

My absolute most hated vulgarity is "butthurt."  That's used A LOT now and it's disgusting.  It's rape language.  Rape isn't a joke.  Stop using rape language like it's supposed to be funny.

 

Other swear words are just vulgar and reference stuff that's private or gross in a setting where it's totally out of context (e.g. s**t, f***, a-hole), some are swear words because they take the Lord's name in vain, which isn't an issue for non-Christians but a pretty big deal for those of us who are.  Or, at least, it should be a big deal. 

 

Very interesting question, OP.  I'm glad your kids asked :)

 

 

 

[Meadowlark]

Haven't read the replies, but here are my thoughts on swearing. I think it's cultural.

 

My mom and her family all are swearers. This coupled with alcoholism, family fighting (physical) and overall dysfunction, leaves a sour taste in my mouth.

 

I grew up in a family of swearers. My 2 brothers, mom and dad all swore like sailors. For some reason, I hated it from a very young age. I guess I associate it with that family dysfunction. (my immediate family is dysfunctional as well), and so i always strayed from it. Not surprisingly, I married a man who NEVER swears and his family is the furthest thing from swearing. I can't really explain it-I've just always hated it and thought it was tacky.

[Mergath]

Swearing indicates lack of ability to control one's emotions..a problem if in a society where control is expected. Not a problem if one is an old salt.

 

Not hardly.

[Pam in CT]

I don't see swearing as a religious issue -- as numerous pp have said, which words are taboo is just cultural.

 

I do see it as a manners issue, and impulse control.  

 

I tell my kids that reliance on swearing for emphasis demonstrates a lack of communication skill, and they can do better than that.

 

If the context is something like a stubbed toe or an oven burn... shrug.

[Frances]

Because Christians are explicitly and repeatedly instructed to be gracious in speech and careful with words.

 

Wow, I did not know this, thank you. It certainly makes me see lots of posts, especially on the Current Events and News board, in a very different light.

[eternalsummer]

I don't see how it has one thing to do with impulse control.  I don't accidentally swear.  I swear because it is a natural part of my vocabulary in some codes.  

[DawnM]

Because Christians are explicitly and repeatedly instructed to be gracious in speech and careful with words.

 

If you're looking for a non-Christian answer, because a powerful and precise adjective woven skillfully into a criticism is often a far superior way of communicating the original emotion or idea. :)

 

 

(Editing: And they are certainly right that offensive words are culturally rooted; even within different areas of one culture, some things are offensive to some that are not to others. Knowing one's context is a critical prerequisite to appropriate speech - and it's that "appropriate speech" that Christians are encouraged to emulate and employ. It's like any form of manners - a way of showing honor to the other person, putting his wishes above your own. And certainly easier to discuss than to implement consistently!)

 

Sigh.  Yes.  I need to adhere to that one a bit better.

[MotherGoose]

It's also just plain rude in many circumstances

--someone decided we should chew with mouths closed. Say please and thank you, respect our elders, etc. I also see someone who swears frequently as someone without the ability to have self control or come up with more intelligent words. Not to say I don't ever swear.

[TranquilMind]

As a Christian, I consider it wrong, because scripture says it is wrong.  It's along the line of the "can't serve two masters" thing. 

 

James 3:9

 

With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. 10Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. 11Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? 12My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.

 

Apart from this, it is demeaning and rude to curse.   It's not acceptable in most venues (though the coarsening of society is breaking this down). 

Some of it is probably upbringing as well.  My mother had an impressive vocabulary and never uttered a curse word in her life. She taught me that if you have to stoop to that, you've already lost your credibility and harmed your cause. 

 

[TranquilMind]

Haven't read all the replies yet, but the ones I find personally offensive are ones that denigrate others.

 

My absolute most hated vulgarity is "butthurt."  That's used A LOT now and it's disgusting.  It's rape language.  Rape isn't a joke.  Stop using rape language like it's supposed to be funny.

 

Other swear words are just vulgar and reference stuff that's private or gross in a setting where it's totally out of context (e.g. s**t, f***, a-hole), some are swear words because they take the Lord's name in vain, which isn't an issue for non-Christians but a pretty big deal for those of us who are.  Or, at least, it should be a big deal. 

 

Very interesting question, OP.  I'm glad your kids asked :)

 

Yes, this term is exceedingly vulgar and is exactly what you call it. 

 

Disgusting.   And I see it trotted out regularly. 

 

[scrapbookbuzz]

I definitely agree with the Bible verses and social expectations of not using dirty language. I guess what I'm asking or rather what my daughter is asking is why is a word considered "dirty". There are words that are explicit in their meanings and to me those are more obvious. For instance why in some circles would darn it or dang it be ok but not damn it. I was always taught by my parents that it wasn't classy in addition to religious reasons. My kids say it is so prevalent in college that even professors (and some high school teachers) use the F word all the time.

Does she know the origin and original meaning of the F-word? Knowing the origin of a word might help her to understand why it's considered crass. If she uses it at school, and those she associates with do, as well, why do they use that word? How does it add to what the message they wish to convey? (I think if one of my children asked me this, I would set it up as a research essay/paper for them to do.)

 

 

Personally, when I hear people use the f-word, I really want to give them a dictionary. As a previous poster stated, an appropriately placed adjective can be much more effective than any swear word. My experience in hearing people use that word is that either 1) they're often not aware they're saying it and/or 2) they overuse it and thus negate any emphasis in their point, if they were even making one.

 

When I worked retail, I had to confront a young (teen/college age) customer about not using his crass language in a family store. He told me the f-word "is so descriptive." No, child, green is descriptive, scalloped is descriptive, the f-word is not an adjective.

[City Mouse]

I don't have a problem with profanities when they are being used as interjections such as after you hit your thumb with a hammer.

I do not like those words directed toward a specific person or group of people. When any word is being used to hurt someone, that is unacceptable.

 

There is an old Rug Rats cartoon that my DD used to watch when she was little. Angelica heard an adult used a bleeped out profanity, then started to use the word. Angelica did not understand why that word was "bad". The parents finally explained that any word is "bad" if it makes another person feel bad.

[Guest]

Lol.

 

Because we swearers are vulgar and don't k ow how to communicate real good, most 'speacially if adjectives ought to be involved, did ya not know it, lass?

 

Op I know your question was sincere, but the answers have been predictable. CAUSE I DON'T LIKE IT! oh, why don't you like it? ...It's vulgar! ...Yes but what makes it vulgar, if not the intent of the speaker?... It's vulgar cause I don't like it!!!!!!!

 

Religious explanations aside (to which I do not object), that's all it is. Folks have an association with baseness and clap/ that's all there is to it!

 

Meanwhile, others do not have those associations.... Know and love incredibly bright, compassionate people who cuss up a storm...And are just flat out not believed by those who don't disassociate intent (and effect, for that matter, adjective lobby notwithstanding) from their personal feelings about a dozen words.

 

Meanwhile, we all have our own pet dislikes. But it's a mistake, I believe, to draw conclusions about everyone who doesn't share them!!

[DesertBlossom]

I agree that swear words are only swear words because our culture makes them so. But even if a word is only offensive because our culture makes it so, it's still enough reason not to do it. One of my goals is to become more deliberate in my speech in general. There's a tendency to call everything "awesome" or "the best" to the point those words have lost meaning. Personally I want to start adding some better adjectives to my running vocabulary.

 

I think speech is also like other cultural things like dress and appearance. For example, long hair on a man means people might make certain assumptions about that person, even though in Biblical times is was the norm. There is nothing inherently wrong with long hair, but it's a cultural thing. And nowadays fads like the "man bun" are changing some of the stereotypes people assume about long hair on guys . That being said, if a certain style or custom is culturally associated with something outside of my particular belief system, I purposely will steer away from it. We can't help that people are going to make certain assumptions about us based on the way we look. If I wear long pioneer dresses and a bonnet people are going to assume I am Mennonite or Amish or something of the like. If I am wearing a shirt with a crass, vulgar message across the front, people are going to make certain assumptions about me and my behavior.

[wintermom]

I don't see swearing as a religious issue -- as numerous pp have said, which words are taboo is just cultural.

 

 

 

It's both. There are definitely specifically religious swear words.   One example of a French-Canadian (Catholic) religious swear word is "tabernacle." It's considered one of the very worst swear words.

[Only me]

It's both. There are definitely specifically religious swear words. One example of a French-Canadian (Catholic) religious swear word is "tabernacle." It's considered one of the very worst swear words.

I didn't know that. I'm curious about that one.

[wintermom]

I didn't know that. I'm curious about that one.

 

The tabernacle is where the consecrated host is stored in a catholic church, usually up on the altar. It is considered to house "the presence of God." 

[wintermom]

The Catholic Church also has the Holy Name Society, where lay people promote the reverence and care of the name Jesus Christ.

[Pam in CT]

re religiously-framed understanding of certain words

It's both. There are definitely specifically religious swear words.   One example of a French-Canadian (Catholic) religious swear word is "tabernacle." It's considered one of the very worst swear words.

 

 

That is fascinating -- in Judaism, "tabernacle" has a quite positive association (of course in both cases we're working in translation).   What is the linguistic route by which the association in French-Canadian Catholic association is negative?

 

I certainly agree that within particular religious groups, particular words come to have particular meaning.  In my mind that's still "cultural" -- language evolves to common socially-constructed meaning within religious groups just like in any other group.  I suppose that comes down to "what does 'cultural' mean", though.

 

 

 

In Judaism, the only realio - trulio religiously framed linguistic taboo is the articulation of the four-letter proper name of God.  In prayer and liturgy and study, we use various substitutes (the Hebrew words for "lord" and "our (little-g) god" and "the Name" and such); and observant Jews often write out G-d (even though God is not the taboo proper name).  That taboo is not at all like swearing, however -- the tradition behind the taboo is not because the Name is profane, but just the reverse -- too sacred and powerful to be spoken.

[poppy]

This all reminds me of a conversation I had in college with a Baptist girl.  Her church explicitly forbids drinking.  But the bible refers to wine - she asked preacher about it and he said it referred to "the best grape juice ever".

I know there are other answers, but, that one cracked her (and me) up. You can interpret the Bible in so many ways to conform to  your social expectations. 

 

Swearing is wrong because people in authority say it's wrong. If you're in that social circle, that's good enough. If you're chafing against the social cirlce, it might not be, and you come to a decision point.

 

 

[Guest]

I looked up Tabernacle as a French swear word and the website said it refers to a certain holy box. Which, I'm sorry, is hilarious hahaha. Just the delivery there. 'a certain...'

 

Plus, look. Box. It's really __all__ in the delivery and intent.

Edited January 2, 2017 by OKBud

[ktgrok]

I don't like the shaming involved in turning my body parts into vulgarities.

 

Which isn't to say I don't swear, but I don't use those ones.

 

This. I try hard (and sometimes fail) to avoid using sexual language as a slur. I think it promotes rape culture, and the idea that sex is about violence or bad or dirty. 

 

I have no issue using words about poop as swear words :)

 

That said, the biggest issue with swearing is about manners. It's impolite in some circles to use certain language. In other circles it is fine. Knowing the difference is important. It's called code switching. I'd have no issue with her swearing around her friends as long as she knows it bothers you so she shouldn't do it around you or anyone else that may be bothered by it (that's good manners....not a moral or religious issue). 

 

But I would explore with her the idea that saying "f you" or whatever implies sexual violence, and as a woman is she okay with that? I realize that isn't how people mean it, overtly, but I think it does promote the equivalence of sex and violence. Same with body part genital references, etc. I try to keep my swearing gender neutral :)

[Only me]

The tabernacle is where the consecrated host is stored in a catholic church, usually up on the altar. It is considered to house "the presence of God."

I'm just honestly curious. Why would it be considered a swear word to say? I know there are also other meanings but they are all religious. For instance the Tabernacle Choir. Is that considered a swear word?

[RioSamba]

I'm just honestly curious. Why would it be considered a swear word to say? I know there are also other meanings but they are all religious. For instance the Tabernacle Choir. Is that considered a swear word?

No. Think of it like this. You might be having a theological discussion and use the phrase, "damned to hell." That's not cursing, right? But if you use that phrase to express some other concept- anger, surprise, etc., it's cursing.

[Tanaqui]

I'm just honestly curious. Why would it be considered a swear word to say? I know there are also other meanings but they are all religious. For instance the Tabernacle Choir. Is that considered a swear word?

 

Why is it that in the US, a**h*** is a bad word, but in Korean that sort of insult would be along the lines of "poopyhead", so babyish that even the first graders wouldn't use it?

 

If you're trying to apply logic to taboo language, you're barking up the wrong tree :)

 

It's not acceptable in most venues (though the coarsening of society is breaking this down).

 

We have increased tolerance and acceptance for others. I would hardly say that society is "coarsening".