"Female issues"--what the heck is going on here?

[ILiveInFlipFlops]

I'm in my early 40s and my cycles have been a little wonky for awhile now--a 23-day cycle one month, then a 21-day cycle, then 25 days, then 40 days, then 22 days, etc. About 18 months ago, I missed a period and had crazy heavy bleeding that went on for several months before we managed to get it under control with BCP, and it's been pretty much normal (though still with the variable cycle lengths) since then. 

 

However, it has now been 8 weeks since my last period. I'm not in any pain or discomfort, and I've taken several pregnancy tests (negative). I'm starting to worry about dealing with another round of bleeding like last time. The weirdest wrinkle, though, is that oldest DD is also several weeks late, which is very unusual for her. Since she got her period a few years ago, I can think of only one time where she skipped a month. She's usually fairly regular. 

 

So what the heck is happening here? Would you go to the doctor for this? If so, what would they even do? Should I bother taking DD as well?

 

I don't even know what to think. It would be funny if it wasn't so odd! Any hormone experts out there who have some ideas on why this is happening? 

[KungFuPanda]

I got the very helpful "All bets are off after 40" statement from my obgyn.  Gee, thanks dude.  Also, I do believe that living with another menstruating female can have an effect on your cycle.  I don't know how it works, but I do know there is a response, so it makes sense that if one person has a wonky cycle the other person might have wonkyness as well.  None of this answers your questions, but your not alone in your after-40 period weirdness OR in being synced up with other females.

 

[Bluegoat]

My thoughts are the same as KungFuPanda.  Once you get perimenopause and then the real deal, your cycles start going off because of hormone changes.  And since women in teh same household tend to sync their menstration, maybe that is affecting your daughter.

 

It also could be that your daughter's thing is unrelated - it could be result of a change in diet, exersize, a virus, some bit of solar radiation hitting the wrong spot at the wrong moment, or whatever.

[hornblower]

Whether menstrual synchrony exists or not is still a hot topic in research. There is really little good evidence that it does & statisticians keep smashing the studies as insignificant. 

I think part of the problem is that we cycle so frequently anyway; when you consider something like the 'Birthday Problem' (what are the odds that in a classroom of 23 people 2 kids share a birthday? It's 50%) and that's just 1/365 possibilities, you get this happening even more frequently. 

"Though widely accepted as a fact of female life, many psychologists and anthropologists doubt the existence of such menstrual synchrony. Nearly half of the papers published on the topic find no evidence that close co-habitation draws menstrual cycles closer together. What's more, studies that do find an effect have been dogged by harsh criticisms of poor design and naive statistical analyses."  http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/do-women-who-live-together-menstruate-together/


 

[City Mouse]

Yep, sounds like what I am going through. I am 47. I have only missed on period so far, the following month I could not leave the house for 2 days. I will be very happy when this is all over.

[hornblower]

OP -  I think you definitely need to see a doctor.  I'd be wanting blood work run & possibly a pelvic ultrasound.

 

 

Your dd I'd be way less concerned about. 

[SparklyUnicorn]

Oddly I had the reverse happen (I'm in my early 40s).  I've never been this regular! 

 

Comical, but maybe I should go to a doctor for sudden regularity.

 

 

[Spryte]

OP - I think you definitely need to see a doctor. I'd be wanting blood work run & possibly a pelvic ultrasound.

 

 

Your dd I'd be way less concerned about.

This.

 

I'd not be too worried about DD, but I might make sure she has access to a pregnancy test, and let her do it privately. I'm not implying that she's active, I wouldn't know. But I'd still say, hey, if you should need it, there's a stash of tests under the sink. And make sure she knows she can talk about it.

Edited June 13, 2016 by Spryte

[JFSinIL]

Get it checked out. Probably just you getting on in years ;-) (I can talk, I am 57 soon) you might benefit from short-term use of birth control to regulate the cycle.

[speedmom4]

I wouldn't worry. I sound very similar. I've had wonky cycles, missed periods, and heavy erratic bleeding. I went on BCP last year because I bled for 60 days straight and the provera wasn't working. I hated being on BCP. I felt awful but it did stop the bleeding. I only took them for two months.

 

I'm only 41 but my blood tests show that I'm in Perimenopause. I think all bets are off during the next 5-10 years concerning my hormones/uterus. I'm hoping I can just deal with it. There aren't a lot of options that I'm happy with.

 

Good luck!

[Kassia]

I'm 48 and haven't had a period since January 1st.  My cycles were a little irregular before then - maybe 7-10 days late at a time, but now nothing.  I'm afraid of what's going to happen if/when I start again - I don't want to be like the earlier poster who couldn't leave the house.  I'm constantly worried about when it's going to start and how heavy it will be.  I need to get to the doctor for some bloodwork and see if this is normal or not. 

 

 

[kbutton]

I'm 40 and had several years of wonky cycles, with two of the last three being especially wonky. I had testing. There is a family history of one grandmother going through menopause early. Yada, yada.

 

Meanwhile, with all the typical bloodwork for cholesterol, etc. I found out that was low vitamin D and began taking a D3 supplement (Shaklee, in my case). My periods started to normalize within a month or two with little quirks (a heavy day here and there) thrown in, and now, a year later, my cycles are rock solid normal again.

 

It could be coincidence, but since vitamin D is an important thing, I would highly recommend getting your level tested. If it's low, you'll benefit from a supplement even if it doesn't fix the other problem.

[Liz CA]

Unfortunately, one of my ob/gyn gave me the "welcome to your thirties / forties," speech as well, however, she missed that I had endo and this caused a lot of the fluctuations and heavy bleeding.

[ILiveInFlipFlops]

Well, I just knew that if I posted here about this whole thing, the universe would hasten its resolution! 

 

Hornblower, I used to think that the whole women cycling together thing was hooey too. Until oldest DD started menstruating! And here's a little more anecdata. DD's period started on June 20, and I started spotting the same day. Neither of us had had a period of any kind for at least 8 weeks (her interval was more like 10). My period was weird and light and unlike anything I've had before, but outside of that it followed the usual pattern. DD's was normal, not even heavier than usual. Who the heck knows how this stuff works? 

 

I think it might be time for some "middle-aged lady" reading for me. Sigh. I'm glad that this chapter is wrapped up, at least. I was envisioning another round of the nightmare I went through last time, and I'm very thankful that it's not going to be like that. I don't ever want to do that again!

 

A belated thanks to all of you for chiming in :)

[kiwik]

You are in perimenopause and dd is pregnant?

[Junie]

Whether menstrual synchrony exists or not is still a hot topic in research. There is really little good evidence that it does & statisticians keep smashing the studies as insignificant. 

 

I think part of the problem is that we cycle so frequently anyway; when you consider something like the 'Birthday Problem' (what are the odds that in a classroom of 23 people 2 kids share a birthday? It's 50%) and that's just 1/365 possibilities, you get this happening even more frequently. 

 

"Though widely accepted as a fact of female life, many psychologists and anthropologists doubt the existence of such menstrual synchrony. Nearly half of the papers published on the topic find no evidence that close co-habitation draws menstrual cycles closer together. What's more, studies that do find an effect have been dogged by harsh criticisms of poor design and naive statistical analyses."  http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/do-women-who-live-together-menstruate-together/

 

 

 

 

Give us about 10 more years and I'll be able to give you some (anecdotal) evidence.  ;)

[FriedClams]

Late 40s here. Sounds "normal". I'm on progesterone 10 days a month and it helps a ton. At least now it doesn't last 5 weeks, and while it can be terrible, at least I have some control over when it's terrible. I also sleep like the dead on the progesterone which is awesome.

[FriedClams]

Late 40s here. Sounds "normal". I'm on progesterone 10 days a month and it helps a ton. At least now it doesn't last 5 weeks, and while it can be terrible, at least I have some control over when it's terrible. I also sleep like the dead on the progesterone which is awesome.

[ILiveInFlipFlops]

You are in perimenopause and dd is pregnant?

 

The first is likely, the second is not. DD is just shy of 14 and spends pretty much all her time with me! She'd have to be a Houdini to accomplish it :lol: (Though I won't laugh too loud, lest I tempt the universe into smacking me down in a few years.)

[school17777]

I am going through the similar wonky cycles too. My "water" broke two weeks ago. I never even had that happen when I was pregnant because I had planned c-sections. What is that all about?

[Janie Grace]

Did you and dd travel two weeks after your last period? Traveling (or other stress) can suppress/delay ovulation. If you were on the same cycle anyway, it could be that you both reacted to circumstance the same way.

[SporkUK]

Your female issues do sound like perimenopause. I would [and did] go to the doctor just to check that isn't something else because major changes to menstruation can mean many things. Hopefully it will be smooth sailing from now on for you. 

 

How active is she? Is she having any other issues [headaches, difficulty sleeping, stiffness, UTIs, significantly more moody or forgetful]?  14 is young enough that hormonal changes could throw everything out even if she was steady before [and active athletes sometimes lose their periods, particularly young ones]  but - with many bad female issues running in my family - I might push for a checkup and some blood tests. If she isn't showing any other issues and you don't have anything in your family medical history, then waiting and seeing - or maybe mentioning the oddness to your doctor when you go and seeing if they think you should bring her in - makes sense. 

[Katy]

For another option, any chance you've tried a new food recently?  Something similar happened to me when I switched to Stevia.  I started missing periods, not pregnant.  Since the only thing that had changed was the stevia, I googled it.  Turns out hormone disruption is common with stevia, some women it acts like the pill, in others it has no affect at all.

 

Think through everything you've done that might influence hormones.  Chemicals, dairy, soy, sweeteners, higher or lower carb diets, higher or lower calorie diets, etc.  If you can't think of anything and haven't had a pelvic exam in the last year I'd go in for one just in the rare case it's cancer.  It's probably perimenopause.

 

Early teen cycles are notoriously irregular.

[KrissiK]

I got the very helpful "All bets are off after 40" statement from my obgyn. Gee, thanks dude.

Yeah, perimenopause is a mess. There is no normal. Everything can be wonky for a while, and then... you go back to being regular, but only after you've gained a gazillion pounds. And then there's hot flashes and then there's not. I've stopped trying to figure it out. I just go with it.

[cintinative]

Yeah, perimenopause is a mess. There is no normal. Everything can be wonky for a while, and then... you go back to being regular, but only after you've gained a gazillion pounds. And then there's hot flashes and then there's not. I've stopped trying to figure it out. I just go with it.

 

ROFL. Truth.

[earthyfamily]

OK...not trying to hijack here, but what do you do if you can't take birth control pills?  For the incessant heavy bleeding I mean.

[Lady Florida.]

It sounds like perimenopause (my previously like-clockwork cycle was all over the calendar during that time). Even though that's most likely what's going on, I'd see a gyn just to rule out anything else. 

 

If the doctor gives you the answer you expect, hang on tight. You're in for quite a ride. 

[Katy]

OK...not trying to hijack here, but what do you do if you can't take birth control pills?  For the incessant heavy bleeding I mean.

 

Diet changes.  You have to figure out what dietary sources of estrogen are causing the problem, but generally something like a very low fat vegan diet solves the problem for everyone.  Some people are less sensitive and find just increasing fiber and cruciferous vegetables (that help detox estrogen) helps.  Some people only need cut out dairy.  Others find all meat, fats, dairy, and soy cause issues.  I know one woman who cannot even deal with chemicals and plastic food containers.

 

It's a giant pain, but it is effective.  And probably healthier than the pill.

[hornblower]

 a very low fat vegan diet solves the problem for everyone.  

 

Yup, this! 

 

Though it's my answer for everything so I am biased :P 

 

Another important factor is high fiber. If you're a super pooper, you literally can poop your excess estrogen out. http://nutritionfacts.org/video/relieving-yourself-of-excess-estrogen/

 

" Vegetarian women have increased fiber input, which leads to “vegetarian women [having] an increased fecal output, which leads to increased [fecal] excretion of estrogen and a decreased [blood] concentration of estrogen.â€

 

for other evidence based summaries  on nutrition in menopause check out this page: http://nutritionfacts.org/topics/menopause/

[HeWillSoar]

Mid 40's here--my periods were getting closer together (20 days, 25, days, then 21 days) with heavy bleeding, and I chalked it up to perimenopause.  My iron had even gotten low and I was tired all the time. Turns out it was a polyp and adenomyosis.  Might want to get it checked just in case. 

[kiwik]

The first is likely, the second is not. DD is just shy of 14 and spends pretty much all her time with me! She'd have to be a Houdini to accomplish it :lol: (Though I won't laugh too loud, lest I tempt the universe into smacking me down in a few years.)

For some reason I thought she was older. If there has been no opportunity for willing or unwilling relations it is unlikely. In that case if it doesn't settle soon maybe you should look into it. My cycles didn't settle until late teens though and perimenopause hit at 44. I had my ovaries removed just after i turned 46 and had missed the 2 periods before. Strangely I had no trouble getting pregnant at 37 and 39.

[foxbridgeacademy]

OK...not trying to hijack here, but what do you do if you can't take birth control pills?  For the incessant heavy bleeding I mean.

I had a thermal ablation, little to no bleeding for the first year or two and now 10 years later I use 1-2 tampons per cycle only on my "heavy" day.  Only do it if you're 100% sure you're done having kids.

[Ewe Mama]

I was diagnosed with premature ovarian failure (early menopause) when I was 38.

 

My midwife told me she had another patient in her 40's who had come in with her teenage daughter. The mother was joking around and said that her daughter was having hot flashes as often as she was. Midwife immediately ordered blood work on the dd. She was in premature ovarian failure at only 14. She had only ever had a handful of cycles when everything suddenly stopped.

 

It is very, very rare, but it can happen and it is incredibly sad when it does.

[TravelingChris]

I had an endrometrial ablation.  Went to light spotting only.

[earthyfamily]

Are there any more natural type remedies? 

[hornblower]

Are there any more natural type remedies? 

 

yup, as mentioned above, low fat high fiber vegan diet. 

[earthyfamily]

yup, as mentioned above, low fat high fiber vegan diet. 

Yup, oh yeah! Good with the diet changes. :) Was wondering if there are supplements or foods in particular?

[Matryoshka]

For another option, any chance you've tried a new food recently? Something similar happened to me when I switched to Stevia. I started missing periods, not pregnant. Since the only thing that had changed was the stevia, I googled it. Turns out hormone disruption is common with stevia, some women it acts like the pill, in others it has no affect at all.

Huh. I switched to stevia over a decade ago. My cycles have never been so regular. And I'm 51. Now you have me wondering if it may have helped regulate things in my case...? Last time I had an ultrasound they said they could find no trace of my once-rampant PCOS. ..

Edited July 1, 2016 by Matryoshka