scrapbookbuzz Posted January 15, 2016 Share Posted January 15, 2016 . . . feel like the start of the new semester is just not working? Before Christmas, I came home to find my husband had re-arranged living room AND got rid of a bookcase that I was clearly using. Later he then asked where I wanted to "put all (those books)." I said, "I had a place for them but you got rid of it." He didn't ask, just did. Then everything got shoved in a corner during December. End of December was hectic due to dementia issues with my Mom followed by lots of part time work for me. Finally have a week to sort of "settle in" only to realize I now know where NOTHING is. No clue where all my TMs are. No clue where half of the kids' school books are. Everytime I start looking I start getting overwhelmed not knowing where to put some of the stuff I need because there is nowhere to put it. Hubby kept talking about what he envisioned for bookshelves and has yet to do anything about it. Can you tell I'm a little bit frustrated? Mostly this is a vent. But I'm also wondering what to do about schooling. Blah. Any encouragement would be great! Thanks! :bigear: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEmama Posted January 15, 2016 Share Posted January 15, 2016 Um, make him find it all and put it back? 18 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted January 15, 2016 Share Posted January 15, 2016 Ugghh, that would be frustrating. Can you ask him for 15 minutes of his time to help you find anything you cannot find due to his rearrangement? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
athomeontheprairie Posted January 15, 2016 Share Posted January 15, 2016 (edited) I have a friend whose husband doesn't like anything that even looks like school in sight. No books, maps, science stuff, artwork, etc. She has everything she needs in a cabinet in an upstairs room. No way would that fly here. I would be just under livid of my dh took the bookcases (completely livid if he did it without my foreknowledge). can you have a very clear conversation with him? "Honey, when you moved the bookcases out of the room I lost the space for the schoolbooks we use daily. I need easy access to these materials. Where do you suggest we store them?" Perhaps he has a good idea? And to answer your first question. Yes. This semester has started of rocky. Every August and every January I think my, possibly autistic, child needs to go to school Edited January 15, 2016 by athomeontheprairie 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted January 15, 2016 Share Posted January 15, 2016 Ugghh, that would be frustrating. Can you ask him for 15 minutes of his time to help you find anything you cannot find due to his rearrangement? Yeah, that's what I would do. "Hey honey, you took all the books out of the bookcase and now I can't do school. Please help me get things back together." 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ethel Mertz Posted January 15, 2016 Share Posted January 15, 2016 Perhaps a "Teacher's Day" would be helpful. Have the kids do a reading day or pursue educational activities (documentaries, anyone?) that don't require your presence. Then spend the day doing what you have to do to get school organized. I need one of those days myself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted January 15, 2016 Share Posted January 15, 2016 I'm not sure about the practicalities of making him do it... I would stop and take a couple of days off and go buy and new bookshelf and spend the day organizing yourself. No wonder you're frazzled - someone moved your stuff! And you were dealing with a family emergency that sounds like it was rough. Plus the holidays. Give yourself a little time to get back on track. 14 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alisoncooks Posted January 15, 2016 Share Posted January 15, 2016 Rough start here, too. (Well, not really because that would imply that we've actually started...and we haven't.) I had knee surgery around New Year's and am still on the mend. I'm hoping next week I'll find the gumption to get it all together. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted January 15, 2016 Share Posted January 15, 2016 (edited) Rough start due to extended holiday break (NOT by MY choice!!!). It's been a foot-dragging kind of week. As for the bookcase, if dh didn't understand my concerns and help make it right after one calm conversation this evening, I'd go out tomorrow and get a new bookshelf, put it right where the old one was, and start collecting stuff to put on it. There's a price to pay for messing with my stuff, y'know? (But I should add that I can better get away with that sort of reaction after 25 years of marriage!) Edited January 15, 2016 by Seasider 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jyhwkmama Posted January 15, 2016 Share Posted January 15, 2016 Yes. I would totally go get a new bookshelf myself ASAP! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartlikealion Posted January 15, 2016 Share Posted January 15, 2016 We're behind. It's been rough getting in the swing of things. We're slowly making progress. Subjects that require reading aloud are really rough with the baby interjecting, fussing, etc. I kinda freaked the other day when I saw that we're still in part A of math. I think we'll catch up, though. I got a metal bookcase on Amazon last year. It was pretty affordable and appealed to me more than the price of real wood or the quality of fake wood. Just an idea. Good luck. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrairieSong Posted January 15, 2016 Share Posted January 15, 2016 Hmm, what did he expect you to do with the books since he got rid of the bookcase? I'd definitely be getting another one. Did he want you to get rid of some other books to make room? I'd do as other suggested and take a teacher work day to get organized. That would be a lot better than trying to have school when you don't know where anything is. Sorry you are frustrated. I would be, too. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 15, 2016 Share Posted January 15, 2016 If my DH chucked a bookcase without consulting me.... Hell hath no fury. That would be like me going into his garage and throwing away his tool cabinet. 12 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arcadia Posted January 15, 2016 Share Posted January 15, 2016 (edited) A lunch/dinner trip to Ikea would be in order :) My hubby is a little spatial challenged so he won't be able to gauge how many bookshelves we need. I am the one that throws stuff though. ETA: Kids were cranky after a two week break though. Getting better after one week of outside classes. Edited January 15, 2016 by Arcadia 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudoMom Posted January 15, 2016 Share Posted January 15, 2016 (edited) Nothing as tragic or disturbing as losing a bookcase (:svengo:) here, but we've had a nasty virus moving through here (it reminds me of the days when they were all little and I thought we'd never all be well at the same time again). I've been taken down with it this week, so while most of the boys have been able to do some work, it isn't what I had planned/hoped for. But at least I still have all my bookshelves. Edited January 15, 2016 by JudoMom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BooksandBoys Posted January 15, 2016 Share Posted January 15, 2016 Horrors! No one takes my bookshelves, and no one touches my school supplies/manuals! Husband and I are planning to build some retroactive built-in shelves with doors to hide the homeschooling supplies, but until those are actually built, my bookcases remain where they are and as cluttered as they are. Rough start here too. My ASD kid doesn't do well restarting after a break, so it's been, ahem, challenging. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted January 15, 2016 Share Posted January 15, 2016 (edited) We've had our bobbles but are still forging ahead. First there was the science fair project that was supposed to be done over the Christmas break but wasn't, so we had to do that each evening for the first week we went back. No down time for anyone. ​And then we all got mildly sick. Not terribly, but enough to make us sluggish and miserable while we pushed through lessons. I have hopes that that's behind us and we'll have smooth sailing ahead. These first two weeks have been rough. We're mostly on schedule, though we'll have to do 2 hours of work tomorrow to make up for some time lost this week due to a sick day and a new class ds decided to take. It's not as bad as losing all the books, but it was a disappointing beginning. We got behind before we even started. Edited January 16, 2016 by Garga 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EMS83 Posted January 16, 2016 Share Posted January 16, 2016 We got a puppy and are behind on errands because of said puppy. My one kid who works independently is getting her stuff done. The other two, not so much. I'm glad they're still young. We can afford to lose a month or two. What plans does your husband have for shelves? Maybe he wanted to make them better? I just threw out all of our shelving last year and had our books boxed up for a couple of months. We built a cheap but sturdy system out of 2x4s and OSB (sealed with oil based primer). We let the kids paint them however they wanted before installing them. And now we have 40 linear feet of 15" deep shelves, with about 16" clearance under the lowest shelf to store totes. I'd been dreaming about new shelves for 18 months prior to that. I wanted ClosetMaid adjustable shelving but couldn't justify the $700+ cost and couldn't find a better solution for a while. Our house would drive whoever's husband doesn't like the "homeschool look" right up the wall. It screams "kids are here all. the. time." :lol: Luckily mine doesn't appear to care. He does not like being dragged into cockamamie projects all that much, though. :coolgleamA: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scrapbookbuzz Posted January 16, 2016 Author Share Posted January 16, 2016 He wanted room to install the large screen tv he bought. While I am thankful for said TV I am still frustrated at the loss of a bookshelf unit that was clearly in use! Maybe I'm also frustrated because we started and ended 2015 on non-unanimous decisions. We've been married 21 years now so we'll obviously pull through this but for crying out loud already! I may just pull him to IKEA out of spite tomorrow! :coolgleamA: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kewb Posted January 16, 2016 Share Posted January 16, 2016 I have one child I can't seem to get it together for and one child who has found his groove. I would be major ticked if my dh got rid of a bookcase without discussion first. Fortunately he has gotten used to our dining room being decorated in early high school. Only a couple of more years and my dining room will be a dining room only. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted January 16, 2016 Share Posted January 16, 2016 (edited) I'm having a difficult settling back in, college girl is still home and I want to enjoy more time off together. (I definitely should be better at ignoring the distraction, and she goes back on Tuesday; then I'll have no excuse whatsoever.) I'm pretty attached to my bookshelves and need to be somewhat organized to function. I second taking a day or two to set yourself up. Does your ds not like the bookshelf look? If not find an enclosed unit or some other method of storage that is easy to use and access. Edited January 16, 2016 by Tammyla Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted January 16, 2016 Share Posted January 16, 2016 If he bought and installed a t.v. he wanted, now it is your turn to buy and put up a bookshelf you want. Is there a place you can put one even if it is in a different location or configuration than it was before? 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scrapbookbuzz Posted January 17, 2016 Author Share Posted January 17, 2016 The other constraint is $$. Said bookshelf was FREE. And it was decent size ( 6 ft or so tall) with a cupboard on the bottom. I may have a chance to buy a wonderfully custom built bookcase from a friend but she hasn't decided yet how much she wants for it. Thanks for understanding, all! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alicia64 Posted January 17, 2016 Share Posted January 17, 2016 I'm not sure about the practicalities of making him do it... I would stop and take a couple of days off and go buy and new bookshelf and spend the day organizing yourself. No wonder you're frazzled - someone moved your stuff! And you were dealing with a family emergency that sounds like it was rough. Plus the holidays. Give yourself a little time to get back on track. This is exactly what I was going to say. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Alley Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted January 17, 2016 Share Posted January 17, 2016 I really can't comprehend taking books off of a the shelf, getting rid of the bookcase, and then staring at the books in puzzlement and asking what should be done with them. Well, they're books, honey, they go on a bookshelf! The time to ask that question was before you got rid of the bookcase. My dh wouldn't have gotten rid of the bookcase, but he is famous for 'cleaning up' by stacking items into a box, and then putting said box in an obscure place and promptly forgetting about it. Very often not his items, *sigh*. But yes, we are also having a pretty slow start, mostly due to college stuff for the oldest. We were gone on visits all of Thursday and Friday, getting home late Saturday. Youngest stayed home, but it slows her down as well because she doesn't have any help with geometry or chemistry. I think I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. She has one scholarship interview in town this week, and one that will take a full day out of town next week, and there are no more applications or essays, phew. I just need to motivate myself to work hard this afternoon to get the house straight and next week's schooling planned, so we start the week on a good note. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scrapbookbuzz Posted January 21, 2016 Author Share Posted January 21, 2016 So to top off everything, Tuesday greeted me with some sort of illness. Mild flu, something. Today I have no motivation whatsoever to get the kids to do any schoolwork. Therefore, I sent them a whole quarter mile down the street, together, to get snacks from the gas station. Good thing I took out cash yesterday! It's very mild weather here in mid-Arizona right now. Figured the walk would do them good. Get them out of the house and their minds of Minecraft for awhile! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arcadia Posted January 21, 2016 Share Posted January 21, 2016 He wanted room to install the large screen tv he bought. While I am thankful for said TV I am still frustrated at the loss of a bookshelf unit that was clearly in use! Our large screen LED TV sits on top of a low bookshelf unit. My aunts did the same thing except their TV media stand holds books and magazines. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amy in NH Posted January 21, 2016 Share Posted January 21, 2016 I'd go get another bookshelf and reorganize. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted January 21, 2016 Share Posted January 21, 2016 He got rid of a bookcase!!! No wonder it's all been crazy. I recommend a prescription of two Billy bookcases, a warm glass of a relaxing beverage, and one school day to build and organize. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamiof5 Posted January 22, 2016 Share Posted January 22, 2016 Oh my! Not sure what my reaction would be if he did that. After screaming at him from the top of my lungs (just inside me, wouldn't let him hear it), I'd explain why his decision didn't work for me and to please fix it. One of the golden rules, if you break it you fix it, or if you mess it up, you fix it. Really slow here too...life just keeps getting in the way. Very little time, energy or motivation to get anything done right now :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted January 22, 2016 Share Posted January 22, 2016 I had a similar experience recently. I pulled out a ton of books and separated them into three categories--donate, read then keep, and keep. DH offered to help out so I showed him the two piles of keepers that needed to go into the back bedroom where we have a lot of bookshelves. I showed him these piles three different times. So what did he do? He worked on this for about 20 minutes. Then he complained that he was out of room to shelve the rest of the 'keep' books. Wait, I said, what happened to that third pile? The one we were going to donate? You guessed it, it is shelved. And not together either. I will never find all of them, and he has no idea where he put them, because he wasn't actually looking at them while he was shelving them. At all. He offered to find me any titles that I could remember, but of course the whole point of sorting them was so as not to have to remember anything. Because, you know, they were sorted. Into clear and distinct piles. Separately. Argh. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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