Chess club query regarding parents dropping Club and wanting refunds

[AimeeM]

First, I had two parent meetings prior to starting the chess club. In them, I did note that there were no refunds. The reason for the "no refunds" rule is simple - I only charged enough of a participation fee for each child to "throw into the pot" for materials. There is no profit - the money goes to actual materials (boards, pieces, extra pieces, timers, books, etc) and need-based scholarships.

So, in order to provide a refund, I would have to give it out of pocket. I can't return used materials and her children weren't the only ones using the materials. 

A family dropped the club because of the distance. They participated for about 1.5 months. They knew the distance prior to initially signing their children up for the club. She (very nicely, I'll add) asked if we could give a refund. She wants to know if I could give a refund for "what would be considered the unused portion" of their fees. I'm not even sure how to respond, to be honest. The participation fee, as stated above, all just went into "the pot" for materials, which was explained at the parent meetings. There is no unused portion. I can't exactly divide the materials used by the entire club into what is or isn't her family's unused portion.

 

But I don't want to be unfair, either. 

 

 

 

PLEASE DON'T QUOTE! I'll probably delete this in a day or two. 

 

 

Edited January 15, 2016 by AimeeM

[AimeeM]

I guess I'm not very confrontational :p I know that I will see her at church and we participate in some of the same homeschool circles. But yes, I'm not sure how anyone would assume that there IS an unused portion of a materials fee. And I do really, really like this mom.

Edited January 15, 2016 by AimeeM

[Erica in OR]

A question: how do the participation fees play into the need-based scholarships that you mention?

 

Erica in OR

[AimeeM]

A question: how do the participation fees play into the need-based scholarships that you mention?

 

Erica in OR

I shouldn't say "scholarship," I think. What I mean is that I charged enough of a participation fee that I would have enough to cover some extra materials so that a few families who wanted to participate, but couldn't afford the material fee, could participate. 

That I was able to include some families who wouldn't be able to pay the fee was important to not only me, but everyone else in the club (including this mom). 

 

ETA: We have several new children joining in the next couple weeks, so the reality is that I probably COULD refund her without dipping into my own pocket, because there will be other children joining who will use the existing materials, but I hesitate there for many reasons. First, it feels kind of sketchy to be rotating money around like that; second, but certainly not least, it sets a precedent - I would feel like I need to refund anyone who drops the club and that I have new kids to replace the kids who dropped won't always be the case, kwim?

Edited January 15, 2016 by AimeeM

[HSMWB]

What were the need based scholarships? For instance is it just that you need X amount for all the materials for the number of kids, and Y amount of families could afford to pay Z amount each to cover X. So that families of 'need scholarship' could still come? Depending on amount of supplies you have, and what would be needed if her kids left - I might offer them a chess set or something (assuming that they had 'purchased' it and now they have enough kids leaving that you can run club with one less set). Or just explain once again: sorry, every penny was used in the expensive supplies to set up the club in the first place. I can't refund the money, sorry.

[AimeeM]

What were the need based scholarships? For instance is it just that you need X amount for all the materials for the number of kids, and Y amount of families could afford to pay Z amount each to cover X. So that families of 'need scholarship' could still come? Depending on amount of supplies you have, and what would be needed if her kids left - I might offer them a chess set or something (assuming that they had 'purchased' it and now they have enough kids leaving that you can run club with one less set). Or just explain once again: sorry, every penny was used in the expensive supplies to set up the club in the first place. I can't refund the money, sorry.

Pretty much. It was important to everyone that all who wanted to participate could, regardless of their ability to pay the fee. 

 

I explained in an ETA above that because of this, I probably COULD refund her money because I have new kids coming in over the next couple weeks - but that I have extra kids coming in to essentially "replace" her kids won't always be the case if others decide to drop and want a refund, kwim? And what if one or more of the kids coming IN to the club are in need of the "scholarship place"? I feel like it would be setting some sort of precedent when I already said "no refunds for this reason."

[Guest]

I'd say "I'm sorry to tell you the money is already spent on supplies - that is why I mentioned at be beginning it is non-refundable. Thanks for your understanding and I'll see you around."

 

Done.

[Aiden]

I would go on the assumption that she's of a "It never hurts to ask" mentality and that she's really as nice as you say she is--meaning she'll understand and not take offense, just shrug her shoulders, smile, and say "Well I figured it couldn't hurt to ask!" But, no, you shouldn't refund the money. Explain nicely that all the funds were used for startup expenses, so there is no unused portion, and that's why the policy from the start was no refunds.

 

As an aside, though, since you do have new kids coming in, presumably with new fees, you need to figure out what you're going to do with fees now that startup expenses are done. With dropping some and gaining some kids, will you need more chess sets or timers? Do you use any consumable supplies? Do you have to rent a space to meet, or will you be traveling to competitions with transportation costs and entry fees (in which case, this new money could be used as a starter scholarship fund)? Will this money be banked to be available for replacing items that are lost or damaged? It probably made a lot of sense to people to have nonrefundable fees when starting and buying lots of nonrefundable supplies, but you may need to revisit the policy for future years/terms/sessions, unless you have ongoing expenses that make the fees still needed.

[Pink and Green Mom]

I agree with the others.  I would be very hesitant to offer a refund because what you do for one, others come to expect.

[bettyandbob]

She came for 1.5 months? I assume that would be 4-6 practices/sessions. And she's asking for a refund.

 

No.

 

The answer would be no if she hadn't come at all because the program stated NO REFUNDS up front.

 

I can't believe someone would come more than one session and ask for a refund. Tell her no.

 

Next season, maybe there should be an extra charge to cover the wine needed by the organizer for parents who are a PITA.

[Monica_in_Switzerland]

Agreeing with everyone else, no refund.  Just repeat the policy, give the reason if you'd like, and there you go!  Unless the money was going to go towards tournament entry fees that her sons would no longer need, the entire idea of a refund is absurd.  

[freesia]

When I ran a co-op we would refund if someone joined to take a family's place. I don't think that's wrong at all. That said, you did state no refunds upfront. Don't feel obligated at all.

[JFSinIL]

Just tell her no.  She already knows she isn't getting anything back, but is operating under the assumption that it never hurts to ask. Do not over think this and just tell her no.

[Word Nerd]

Say exactly that: there was no unused portion. Remind her of the no refund policy and wish her well. You're not being unfair. You're being fair by applying the rules the same for everyone.

This. Remind her of the policy.

[lmrich]

Please do not refund the money. You are not being rude by not refunding the money; she is rude to ask. She paid for a service and changed her mind. She does not have a complaint about the service just her decision was not thought out enough. Can you tell I have experienced this before? I try to be very accommodating when cirucmstances change for parents and will refund if people move or if there has been a medical issue, but for people who just change their minds, I am sorry.

[Pegasus]

This is what I would do, but not at all saying that this is what you should do.

 

"Oh, I'm so sorry but all the fees collected have already been spent on supplies.  Although I did remind everyone at the parents' meetings that there would be no refunds, your friendship is much more important to me than money.  If you would like, I will cheerfully pay your fees back to you out of my own pocket."

 

If she declines, I would know that she understands with no hard feelings and not feel awkward at seeing her around. If she accepts, I would know that she is not actually as nice as she tries to appear. I'd pay her, but I would make no efforts to socialize with her afterwards.

[zoobie]

She knew the policy and knows you're nice. Attach the original email or document and say there is no unused portion and no refund is available. Don't apologize! Thank her for her participation instead. (Have you seen that article on how to stop apologizing for things? Especially ones that aren't your fault?)

[Bluegoat]

No, no refund.

 

I can't actually imagine asking for one in a group where the fees only went to cover the costs.  If I said I would go, then they will have paid for me.

 

It's insensitive of her to have asked IMO, though some people are nice but insensitive so I wouldn't hold it against her.

[AnniePoo]

You have every right to not give the money back, but *I* would tell her that I'd refund the money if/when another families joins to take their place.  I'd also tell her to not speak about it to anyone else since it goes against policy and you wouldn't want to set a precedent.  

 

If I didn't go to church with her I'd probably not do that though.

[OnMyOwn]

I think you could, in good conscience, tell her that the money has been spent on supplies and that is why there are no refunds. Or, you could give her a refund once the family that replaces hers pays their fee but let her know that that is the only reason you are able to offer a refund.

Edited January 15, 2016 by OnMyOwn

[chocolatechip]

I would just say: no, sorry, I can't give a refund. All the fees were spent on supplies; that is why I stated in the beginning that there would be no refunds. 

[bettyandbob]

Don't refund if someone replaces them. It gets you into divulging who can pay the cost of materials. The group agreed the team would remain financially accessible. That really mucks it up.

 

Just stick to the policy. Send her an email reminding her of the policy and the importance to stick with it for fairness to all.

 

It is really rude of her. It her kids took a class at a community center there'd be no refunds after one week. It seems like she's just taking advantage of you. I bet she's never taken the time and effort to organize a similar activity.

[Annie G]

After repeating that the money was used for materials, I would offer to let her find someone take her place.  If you refund money to her because someone else joins, what happens if two families quit and only one new family joins...it just becomes more complicated as far as refunds, etc. 

 

When we had field trips to shows or other events that were paid in advance with no refunds, a family who couldn't make it (or decided they no longer wanted to attend) was welcome to find someone to use their slot.  It's their responsibility to find a replacement and collect money from that person. 

 

 

Sorry you're going through this- hope it gets resolved quickly and doesn't turn your experience sour. 

[Alessandra]

I think it is great you are organizing the chess club, and I am sorry you are experiencing difficulties. Putting together a clum is enough work in itself, without the problems. I don't know if the refunds is for $30 or $300. I would have a different response in each case.

 

Refunds. Do you have a written policy? People tend to remember differently, so memorializing a policy can help. Some states have regulations about refunds. Even though it is unlikely they would apply to a little chess club, you might get some ideas by checking out other groups. For example, 100% x weeks before classes start, 90% before second class, etc. After 1 1/2 months, a refund would be highly unlikely. It is just too long. That is more than enough time to decide if you like a class.

 

Supplies. If I were taking a class, I would expect costs to cover normal wear and ear/replacement of equipment, but not all the start up costs. I would expect the owner to front the costs of, say, chessboards and then pay herself back over a period of time. I get tournament/club sets for $10 each, so $5 per person. Clocks are expensive. If you bought a bunch of digital clocks, that woul be expensive. As the club grows, you could suggest that members but their own clocks once they reach a specific skill level. Many, if not most, tournaments ask you to bring a clock, so players will need the, anyway.

 

Books. Do you mean workbooks? If you say, $21 workbook included in the fee, then refund -- obviously -- would not apply to work ok, if it has been written in. If you mean chess notation books -- well, most clubs I know keep them in stock and students buy the. Some kids prefer a piece of paper to a book, some lose their books, and so on.

 

The only red flag I see in what you posted is the scholarship fund. If I were struggling, I might not want my dollars to go to a scholarship. I have been on scholarship committees and hate it. To do a conscientious job, you must pry into people's finances. Ugh! Often the people who could really use help don't ask for it, and vice versa. A scholarship fund, though, could be a good idea. A lot of sports teams in my area offer an opportunity for voluntary contributions as part of the online registration process.

 

Best of luck with the club!

[AimeeM]

I would go on the assumption that she's of a "It never hurts to ask" mentality and that she's really as nice as you say she is--meaning she'll understand and not take offense, just shrug her shoulders, smile, and say "Well I figured it couldn't hurt to ask!" But, no, you shouldn't refund the money. Explain nicely that all the funds were used for startup expenses, so there is no unused portion, and that's why the policy from the start was no refunds.

 

As an aside, though, since you do have new kids coming in, presumably with new fees, you need to figure out what you're going to do with fees now that startup expenses are done. With dropping some and gaining some kids, will you need more chess sets or timers? Do you use any consumable supplies? Do you have to rent a space to meet, or will you be traveling to competitions with transportation costs and entry fees (in which case, this new money could be used as a starter scholarship fund)? Will this money be banked to be available for replacing items that are lost or damaged? It probably made a lot of sense to people to have nonrefundable fees when starting and buying lots of nonrefundable supplies, but you may need to revisit the policy for future years/terms/sessions, unless you have ongoing expenses that make the fees still needed.

Unless more people drop, we will incur most costs. I will need more boards, replacement pieces, timers, etc. At the moment, we're kind of just replacing the dropped kids with the couple new incoming kiddos, but any more kids after that will mean more materials. 

 

Tournament and travel fees are the responsibility of each parent. Not all the parents want to play in tournaments, so that was not part of the materials/participation fee.

[Nart]

I wouldn't refund the money but I would let her know that she is welcome to rejoin the group anytime in the year.

[Tanaqui]

"I'm sorry, that won't be possible".

 

If she were asking for a refund because of you - you kept skipping sessions, or your chess club had a lot of bullying - then that'd be one thing. Of if she was asking because, I don't know, she'd just found out that her child had an extremely expensive disease which would prevent them from attending then you could reasonably make an exception. But as neither of those situations seem to apply, "being fair" means sticking to the rules she agreed to abide by.

[QueenCat]

No, no and no....... Do not refund. If you do, you would have to refund everyone that asks..... don't set that precedent.

[AimeeM]

I charged $50 for the first kiddo, $40 for siblings. 

 

Other chess clubs in the area seem to offer an actual chess teacher... as in, someone who has played competitively or a chess master, and seem to charge per session (like, $10 per session) but that seems to go to the chess master.

This club is NOT as formal as those (other clubs that I've seen in the area). It is a group for kids to learn how to play, basic strategy, and beyond that just to play and hone their skills among their peers - and to allow the kids to belong to a group for tournaments. It was started simply because there literally was no other option for homeschoolers who want to play chess in the area.

 

The fees are for boards, pieces, replacement boards and pieces as necessary, clocks. I had intended to include t-shirts, because the kids wanted them, but I underestimated the cost so I will be paying for those out of pocket (no complaints - that was my fault; I underestimated the costs involved and didn't factor in replacement needs, so I'll happily order the kids t-shirts without asking any more from the parents. I guess it's just a hazard of running a club for the first time, lol). 

 

*Sigh*

And no, there's no written policy. I suppose I should have. This was relatively informal. Kind of a "we're doing this, on this day - who wants to come; this is what is needed, etc". While I am technically running the club, I've definitely been asking everybody for their input in a very ready way. 

 

I think it is great you are organizing the chess club, and I am sorry you are experiencing difficulties. Putting together a clum is enough work in itself, without the problems. I don't know if the refunds is for $30 or $300. I would have a different response in each case.

Refunds. Do you have a written policy? People tend to remember differently, so memorializing a policy can help. Some states have regulations about refunds. Even though it is unlikely they would apply to a little chess club, you might get some ideas by checking out other groups. For example, 100% x weeks before classes start, 90% before second class, etc. After 1 1/2 months, a refund would be highly unlikely. It is just too long. That is more than enough time to decide if you like a class.

Supplies. If I were taking a class, I would expect costs to cover normal wear and ear/replacement of equipment, but not all the start up costs. I would expect the owner to front the costs of, say, chessboards and then pay herself back over a period of time. I get tournament/club sets for $10 each, so $5 per person. Clocks are expensive. If you bought a bunch of digital clocks, that woul be expensive. As the club grows, you could suggest that members but their own clocks once they reach a specific skill level. Many, if not most, tournaments ask you to bring a clock, so players will need the, anyway.

Books. Do you mean workbooks? If you say, $21 workbook included in the fee, then refund -- obviously -- would not apply to work ok, if it has been written in. If you mean chess notation books -- well, most clubs I know keep them in stock and students buy the. Some kids prefer a piece of paper to a book, some lose their books, and so on.

The only red flag I see in what you posted is the scholarship fund. If I were struggling, I might not want my dollars to go to a scholarship. I have been on scholarship committees and hate it. To do a conscientious job, you must pry into people's finances. Ugh! Often the people who could really use help don't ask for it, and vice versa. A scholarship fund, though, could be a good idea. A lot of sports teams in my area offer an opportunity for voluntary contributions as part of the online registration process.

Best of luck with the club!

 

Edited January 15, 2016 by AimeeM

[AimeeM]

"I'm sorry, that won't be possible".

 

If she were asking for a refund because of you - you kept skipping sessions, or your chess club had a lot of bullying - then that'd be one thing. Of if she was asking because, I don't know, she'd just found out that her child had an extremely expensive disease which would prevent them from attending then you could reasonably make an exception. But as neither of those situations seem to apply, "being fair" means sticking to the rules she agreed to abide by.

I only cancel is 50% or more of the kids aren't able to come for some reason. We also have a previously "vetted" make-up day for when that happens (Wednesdays for the big kids) - this was a make up day that everybody (including her) agreed on. I knew it would be needed because this winter appears to have been brutal regarding illness and we've had tons of kids who couldn't make it to any given session because of illness. 

So I don't skip sessions without making up a session. I think there's only been one week where we weren't able to make up a session, and that was right after the holidays - it seems we had some kids who were still out of town for the holidays when we started back up. 

[Tanaqui]

Then it doesn't sound like she has a valid reason to need a refund. She's attended several sessions, you're fairly well organized, and I assume that if she had a problem with how the group is run you would have mentioned it. Refunding her money would be nice, but it wouldn't be fair.

[bolt.]

She's playing, "It never hurts to ask." She's asking whether or not there is an unused portion. There isn't: so just give her the information she's asking you for. It's a question, and you have her answer. No problem has occurred.

 

You are having feelings that tell you there's a problem. That's OK. Your feelings are real, and they matter to you.

 

Your feelings are telling me that you have a hard time with personal boundaries, with 'owning your no', and (possibly) with the idea that you ought-never to disappoint others. Those aren't patterns that are helpful for you as you build a good life for yourself and your family. (They aren't "wrong" they just aren't going to help.) I'd consider this an excelling cut-and-dried, low-stakes opportunity to begin to strengthen your 'no muscle'. You aren't likely to be socially punished for this 'no' and I doubt there will be further pressure, or any reason for you too need to defend your position. It's a very soft way to start yourself growing towards a difficult skill. Take advantage of it.

[AimeeM]

Then it doesn't sound like she has a valid reason to need a refund. She's attended several sessions, you're fairly well organized, and I assume that if she had a problem with how the group is run you would have mentioned it. Refunding her money would be nice, but it wouldn't be fair.

She didn't mention anything to me if she feels the club isn't well run. She was actually one of the very first participants and definitely at the very first parent meeting.

 

 

Edited January 15, 2016 by AimeeM

[Tanaqui]

She didn't mention anything to me if she feels the club isn't well run. She was actually one of the very first participants and definitely at the very first parent meeting.

 

Clearly. I'm not implying there is, I'm simply running through various options where making an exception to a policy might be a good idea. Since it doesn't sound like any of these apply, I wouldn't do it.

 

[AimeeM]

Clearly. I'm not implying there is, I'm simply running through various options where making an exception to a policy might be a good idea. Since it doesn't sound like any of these apply, I wouldn't do it.

Oh, I know you weren't implying as much. I was saying that if there's an additional problem, she didn't say anything about it. 

 

The distance she would need to travel was actually a concern of mine from the beginning. It's the reason I waited until we had moved to the new house (to an outskirt of the city we'd lived in prior) to collect any fees - so that anybody who felt the "now" distance was too much could feel free to drop out BEFORE paying any fees :P

[Tap]

No refunds, sorry the money went to start up costs.  The new kids fees can go toward the T-shirts....again, start up/advertising/team spirit costs.  Let her know she can rejoin at anytime this year if she changes her mind, but you need to know in advance to register him/her for tournaments.

Edited January 15, 2016 by Tap

[sassenach]

"I'm so sorry, but as I explained at the parent meeting, the fees are non-refundable. We will miss little Johnny, but I completely understand that the distance is just too much to add to your plate right now. I'm happy that we will still get to see you at other events. Best wishes!"

[Alessandra]

I charged $50 for the first kiddo, $40 for siblings.

 

Other chess clubs in the area seem to offer an actual chess teacher... as in, someone who has played competitively or a chess master, and seem to charge per session (like, $10 per session) but that seems to go to the chess master.

This club is NOT as formal as those (other clubs that I've seen in the area). It is a group for kids to learn how to play, basic strategy, and beyond that just to play and hone their skills among their peers - and to allow the kids to belong to a group for tournaments. It was started simply because there literally was no other option for homeschoolers who want to play chess in the area.

 

The fees are for boards, pieces, replacement boards and pieces as necessary, clocks. I had intended to include t-shirts, because the kids wanted them, but I underestimated the cost so I will be paying for those out of pocket (no complaints - that was my fault; I underestimated the costs involved and didn't factor in replacement needs, so I'll happily order the kids t-shirts without asking any more from the parents. I guess it's just a hazard of running a club for the first time, lol).

 

*Sigh*

And no, there's no written policy. I suppose I should have. This was relatively informal. Kind of a "we're doing this, on this day - who wants to come; this is what is needed, etc". While I am technically running the club, I've definitely been asking everybody for their input in a very ready way.

 

Oh, my, even accounting for a lower COLA than where I am, you are offering an incredible bargain. Group classes (led by a chess teacher) are about $22 per hour, typical $330 for 11 weeks at 1 1/2 hours per week. Of course, there are facilities costs, insurance (I presume), instructors, modest rating costs, but no books or t shirts.

 

At the price you are offering and considering that the people came for 1 1/2 months, my opinion is that they have already received a lot for their dollar. No refund.

 

She's playing, "It never hurts to ask." She's asking whether or not there is an unused portion. There isn't: so just give her the information she's asking you for. It's a question, and you have her answer. No problem has occurred.

 

You are having feelings that tell you there's a problem. That's OK. Your feelings are real, and they matter to you.

 

Your feelings are telling me that you have a hard time with personal boundaries, with 'owning your no', and (possibly) with the idea that you ought-never to disappoint others. Those aren't patterns that are helpful for you as you build a good life for yourself and your family. (They aren't "wrong" they just aren't going to help.) I'd consider this an excelling cut-and-dried, low-stakes opportunity to begin to strengthen your 'no muscle'. You aren't likely to be socially punished for this 'no' and I doubt there will be further pressure, or any reason for you too need to defend your position. It's a very soft way to start yourself growing towards a difficult skill. Take advantage of it.

This is such good advice. I should print it for myself, because I can see that it would be tempting to absorb the $50 cost myself in order to avoid the trauma of the refund discussion, lol. My only advice would be to say no in writing, because the other woman sounds as though she might spar better in a conversation.

 

You are doing a wonderful service to your community. Just keep that in mind!

 

ETA However 'nicely' the mom asked, the fact that it even crossed her mind to think of a refund for a relatively small amount of money after a reasonably long time in the club, shows a lot of gall, IMO. Because the distance is longer than she thought? Remembering your previous thread, aren't you providing snacks to the club. I'll bet that family ate $$ in food! I am now wondering if your friend is one of those outwardly sweet people with daggers inside. But perhaps I am reading too much into this?

Edited January 15, 2016 by Alessandra

[AimeeM]

Well, she does have several children who were participating. The materials will be absorbed the extras joining, but we've had a sudden influx of members joining... but I have a bad feeling that since we run in some of the same circles, if I give her a refund, it would get around. I also just really don't like the idea of redistributing the money here and there... and everywhere. 

 

I hope I'm offering a bargain. I tried to stay true, price-wise, to what it is - just a group atmosphere for the kids to play in, where the "already knows" can get a bit better and enjoy playing with their peers, and the "newbies" can learn to play. I didn't want to charge anything more than the bare materials because I'm not offering much else. I'm not a chess master :P I can play, and I can teach basics and basic strategy, but I certainly wasn't going to charge them for that since I'm not an expert by any means.

Oh, my, even accounting for a lower COLA than where I am, you are offering an incredible bargain. Group classes (led by a chess teacher) are about $22 per hour, typical $330 for 11 weeks at 1 1/2 hours per week. Of course, there are facilities costs, insurance (I presume), instructors, modest rating costs, but no books or t shirts.

At the price you are offering and considering that the people came for 1 1/2 months, my opinion is that they have already received a lot for their dollar. No refund.

This is such good advice. I should print it for myself, because I can see that it would be tempting to absorb the $50 cost myself in order to avoid the trauma of the refund discussion, lol. My only advice would be to say no in writing, because the other woman sounds as though she might spar better in a conversation.

You are doing a wonderful service to your community. Just keep that in mind!

ETA However 'nicely' the mom asked, the fact that it even crossed her mind to think of a refund for a relatively small amount of money after a reasonably long time in the club, shows a lot of gall, IMO. Because the distance is longer than she thought? Remembering your previous thread, aren't you providing snacks to the club. I'll bet that family ate $$ in food! I am now wondering if your friend is one of those outwardly sweet people with daggers inside. But perhaps I am reading too much into this?

 

[QueenCat]

You can use the money from the new members to help with the t-shirt costs, not to refund when it's a "no refunds" group.

[Southern Ivy]

I'd say "I'm sorry to tell you the money is already spent on supplies - that is why I mentioned at be beginning it is non-refundable. Thanks for your understanding and I'll see you around."

 

Done.

This.

 

I wouldn't even mention that with other students signing up that you COULD give a refund. The fact remains that you said there was no refund at the beginning. If you give a refund to them, it will open up a whole can of worms and you'll be dealing with requests from now until the end of the club. For your own sanity, I'd stand firm regardless of how they will react. 

[Laurie4b]

I guess I'm not very confrontational :p I know that I will see her at church and we participate in some of the same homeschool circles. But yes, I'm not sure how anyone would assume that there IS an unused portion of a materials fee. And I do really, really like this mom.

 

 

The simplest explanation is because she doesn't entirely understand it. So explain it.

 

Just because you said it once, or wrote it once (or more), doesn't mean that it penetrated far enough for everyone to totally understand. We generally only work at understanding something we truly need to understand right at that moment... or for a test coming up, etc. If we don't think we will need it, it doesn't really stick. What most people would have heard is "Fee" blah blah blah and maybe "no refund" blah blah blah. If that's all someone heard, it's not awful to at least inquire about a refund.

 

Say just what you said in the first post. 

[Jyhwkmama]

Just say no! (nicely)

 

Seriously. Don't be afraid to have reasonable boundaries.

[AimeeM]

Thanks guys. You're all helping me say, "no," and you have no idea how helpful that is. I have a difficult time with that word, for some reason. At least with people outside my family unit, lol.

[Alice]

I just had a similar situation with our swim team. We run a winter practice on Sunday nights for our summer swim team swimmers. I had a Mom request a refund now (in January) because she realized that they had only made it three times in the fall and are finding Sunday nights difficult. 

 

My reply...."I am sorry to hear that Sunday nights are not working for your family. We are unable to give refunds as we budget for the season based on the number of swimmers we have." 

 

That's it. No need for further explanations. We also actually just had someone new add in also and have a surplus for the season so I could have financially given her the refund. But I felt like it would set a precedent and I felt like it wasn't reasonable. 

 

In my case she wrote back to say "Oh, well I guess we will try and make it since I don't want to be out $x". To which I replied "Great!". :)

Edited January 15, 2016 by Alice

[Alessandra]

Another thought. Write up your refund policy now and circulate it. Your 'friend' may spread some half truths if she is inclined that way. You can be proactive.

 

ETA

I know this is an apples and oranges comparison, but ChessNYC charges $150 for one hour of coaching in the Hamptons.

Edited January 15, 2016 by Alessandra

[wintermom]

I totally agree with the others, no refund. It's a good idea to have a little money set aside for this club to offset any incidental costs, so that you don't have to cover them yourself. You're already doing a wonderful service for the group by organizing this. Do not feel any guilt at all about her dropping out and losing some of the money she paid. That is entirely her choice. She knew the policy when she signed up.

Edited January 15, 2016 by wintermom

[Rebel Yell]

I'd say "I'm sorry to tell you the money is already spent on supplies - that is why I mentioned at be beginning it is non-refundable. Thanks for your understanding and I'll see you around."

 

Done.

 

:iagree: