kiwik Posted January 13, 2016 Share Posted January 13, 2016 It's also different with kinship care (including fictive kin arrangements). Where I worked, there were fewer requirements for kinship care. This. And also when your sister is on your doorstep cryinv for her kids it is harder to say no than if you are an unrelated foster carer. I know a kid who ended up dead because the aunt gave in to the child's mothr's tears. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted January 13, 2016 Share Posted January 13, 2016 Please call. The heat issue is significant, and it increases the odds of domestic violence and abuse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MedicMom Posted January 13, 2016 Share Posted January 13, 2016 Totally out of options. With no heat in the house you need to call. Taking kids away is really a last resort but they may be able to hook the family up with services to provide emergency heat, and force the parents to accept help. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heatherwith4 Posted January 13, 2016 Share Posted January 13, 2016 Please please please call. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ravin Posted January 13, 2016 Share Posted January 13, 2016 I am wondering if she ever called, and what is going on with the family? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted January 13, 2016 Share Posted January 13, 2016 I am wondering if she ever called, and what is going on with the family? Did you see yesterday's update in post 99? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ravin Posted January 13, 2016 Share Posted January 13, 2016 Did you see yesterday's update in post 99? I saw but didn't click that it was yesterday, lol. The DV would be a reason to call. The lack of heat (since they do have a space heater and presumably are all piled into one room at least at night to make use of it) would not. I might be tempted to go give them some wood, though, if I thought they would use it (as opposed to take it somewhere and try and sell it). 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted January 13, 2016 Share Posted January 13, 2016 I am laying here tonight with such inner conflict. This family has been in turmoil for the least several weeks. Parents shouting at each other multiple times a day, right there with the kids. Still no heat. It is ten degrees here. They are out of wood for the fireplace, and have one space heater in a bedroom. I thought you should have called the first time. I do not understand the conflict. This does even look like a choice to me. 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
East Coast Sue Posted January 13, 2016 Share Posted January 13, 2016 Please call. Those children need intervention- it could be lifesaving. Make the call now, please. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmandaVT Posted January 13, 2016 Share Posted January 13, 2016 Yes - it's definitely time. Good luck. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muttmomma Posted January 13, 2016 Author Share Posted January 13, 2016 I called. Hearing all my concerns out loud, I'm glad I did. 35 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted January 13, 2016 Share Posted January 13, 2016 I called. Hearing all my concerns out loud, I'm glad I did. What was the response of the agency/agent you spoke with? Did they treat your concerns as valid? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muttmomma Posted January 13, 2016 Author Share Posted January 13, 2016 Well she just typed in all of my concerns and said that it would be passed in to see if it was "accepted", and if it was a social worker would be assigned to the case. She said they will place children with family if removed, but it had to be very extreme to remove them. Here were my concerns I reported: 1. No heat offer than one space heater. 2. Parents screaming and threatening each other in front of children daily. 3. Children displaying physical symptoms of anxiety. 4. Mother telling children not to tell people people things because she is afraid they will get taken away. 5. One child with severe food aversion and gastro issues that mom refuses to get checked out. 6. Past drug abuse and mental illness, but don't know about current status 7. Basically squatting in a house that is going into foreclosure, not paying utilities bills 8. The boyfriend abandoning them at her work last month. Its in there hands now. Prayers for brother D and sister D are appreciated. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muttmomma Posted January 13, 2016 Author Share Posted January 13, 2016 Well she just typed in all of my concerns and said that it would be passed in to see if it was "accepted", and if it was a social worker would be assigned to the case. She said they will place children with family if removed, but it had to be very extreme to remove them. Here were my concerns I reported: 1. No heat offer than one space heater. 2. Parents screaming and threatening each other in front of children daily. 3. Children displaying physical symptoms of anxiety. 4. Mother telling children not to tell people people things because she is afraid they will get taken away. 5. One child with severe food aversion and gastro issues that mom refuses to get checked out. 6. Past drug abuse and mental illness, but don't know about current status 7. Basically squatting in a house that is going into foreclosure, not paying utilities bills 8. The boyfriend abandoning them at her work last month. Its in there hands now. Prayers for brother D and sister D are appreciated. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muttmomma Posted January 13, 2016 Author Share Posted January 13, 2016 Lol -- their hands. I committed one of my pet peeves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted January 13, 2016 Share Posted January 13, 2016 And foster care could be absolutely awesome for them. Also, depending on where you are, fictive kin may be an option also. I think this OP is actual kin.....the oldest is her brothers child. But I guess fictive kin would come into place with the other children and Op. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muttmomma Posted January 14, 2016 Author Share Posted January 14, 2016 As of now cps has not made contact with the family. I'll update when I know something. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muttmomma Posted January 15, 2016 Author Share Posted January 15, 2016 Still no contact! I find that upsetting, really. Sometimes they remove children without just cause, and sometimes they just don't care. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted January 15, 2016 Share Posted January 15, 2016 They told you that they needed to evaluate the situation, only yesterday, right? (If I'm reading the dates correctly on this thread.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tsuga Posted January 15, 2016 Share Posted January 15, 2016 I called. Hearing all my concerns out loud, I'm glad I did. They may try to make you regret it. Don't. What makes them feel good now is not what is the right thing to do. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tsuga Posted January 15, 2016 Share Posted January 15, 2016 Still no contact! I find that upsetting, really. Sometimes they remove children without just cause, and sometimes they just don't care. It is very upsetting that CPS in poor areas has much more work, higher caseloads, and higher turnover, than CPS in better-off areas, and this results in different standards for different families, I agree. But I don't think it reflects a lack of care. It reflects inequality in our society. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sdel Posted January 15, 2016 Share Posted January 15, 2016 Still no contact! I find that upsetting, really. Sometimes they remove children without just cause, and sometimes they just don't care. It's fine. Unless there is enough evidence of immediate life threatening danger, CPS is like every other aspect of beureacracy -- slow. One of my step kids told his teacher that his mom choked him on purpose for no reason ( an exaggeration because he was mad at her, she didn't really choke him). That still took more than two days to get someone out. Stefanie 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlsdMama Posted January 15, 2016 Share Posted January 15, 2016 It's fine. Unless there is enough evidence of immediate life threatening danger, CPS is like every other aspect of beureacracy -- slow. One of my step kids told his teacher that his mom choked him on purpose for no reason ( an exaggeration because he was mad at her, she didn't really choke him). That still took more than two days to get someone out. Stefanie Past drug abuse, volatile relationships, and NO heat.... Ya'all it is COLD. Isn't it a space heater in an enclosed room that killed a toddler last week? :( I would think no heat would fall under life threatening this time of year? Confused. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sdel Posted January 15, 2016 Share Posted January 15, 2016 Past drug abuse, volatile relationships, and NO heat.... Ya'all it is COLD. Isn't it a space heater in an enclosed room that killed a toddler last week? :( I would think no heat would fall under life threatening this time of year? Confused. Nope. It takes "I'm going to throw the baby out the window" comments to a doctor type of thing to get an immediate response from CPS. And they still take almost the whole day to respond. Stefanie 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ravin Posted January 15, 2016 Share Posted January 15, 2016 Past drug abuse, volatile relationships, and NO heat.... Ya'all it is COLD. Isn't it a space heater in an enclosed room that killed a toddler last week? :( I would think no heat would fall under life threatening this time of year? Confused. Depends upon the kind of space heater and whether the users have the sense to crack a window. Most indoor-use propane heaters come with automatic CO detector shutoff, and with electric ones it's not a factor. Past drug abuse? Not on the radar of urgent. CPS hands kids BACK when they decide the drug abuse is "past". Volatile relationship--is it the cops making the report? Someone in the ER so the hospital is making the report? No? Not urgent. No central heat but they have a space heater? Not urgent. State law probably mandates the time frame in which they are required to investigate, and which calls require urgent response. It's highly unlikely they have the manpower to send a caseworker to check out every single call the same day. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted January 15, 2016 Share Posted January 15, 2016 I agree that as long as they have some heat and some food, the urgency is not extreme. But I do hope they pay a visit soon. Just having them visit might cause the parents to clean up their act a bit. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StaceyinLA Posted January 15, 2016 Share Posted January 15, 2016 I would call, especially if there is family that could take the children. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ravin Posted January 15, 2016 Share Posted January 15, 2016 I would call, especially if there is family that could take the children. The situation described here is not one where taking the children out of the home is likely to be the first thing CPS does. They're more likely to offer services, possibly in a "cooperate or else" sort of way. Services like help with the utilities, maybe child care, parenting classes, DV counseling, making sure the family are getting food stamps if they qualify, etc. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muttmomma Posted January 15, 2016 Author Share Posted January 15, 2016 Well it appears that they did pay them a visit. At this time we don't have any details because the mom suspects it was us. We only know because she called screaming about how we will not be seeing the children again. Sigh. My mom is heartbroken. I hope that they help the kids, but myself and my mother are the only stable family members the young boy has. I hope this doesn't take that away from him. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ravin Posted January 15, 2016 Share Posted January 15, 2016 That's rough, Muttmomma. It is a common reaction, though. I have a sister who to this day won't speak to my mom over CPS (and my mom wasn't actually the one who called, she was just the one who kept my nephew while he was in CPS custody). 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted January 15, 2016 Share Posted January 15, 2016 Well it appears that they did pay them a visit. At this time we don't have any details because the mom suspects it was us. We only know because she called screaming about how we will not be seeing the children again. Sigh. My mom is heartbroken. I hope that they help the kids, but myself and my mother are the only stable family members the young boy has. I hope this doesn't take that away from him. I'm sorry. Stay strong, and just be there for them when they're ready. You did the right thing. :grouphug: 11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luuknam Posted January 15, 2016 Share Posted January 15, 2016 NO heat.... Ya'all it is COLD. Isn't it a space heater in an enclosed room that killed a toddler last week? :( I would think no heat would fall under life threatening this time of year? Confused. A space heater is heat though. When we lived in North Texas the temps ranged from 10F to 20F for one week at some point. We had two (electric) space heaters in the bedroom, and they said the temp in the room was 43-45F (but, that room also had zero insulation, so it was quite drafty because it was windy and cold), and it was rather cold in the room, but not life-threatening, even for the toddler we had at the time, since, ya know, clothes, and blankets (including at least one electric blanket). We also had a propane space heater in the bathroom (outdoor model, so needed to be careful with that, though there were gaps in the bathroom walls big enough to make CO poisoning not a big concern, lol). Poverty is not a crime, nor (necessarily/immediately) life-threatening. The annoying part (aside from it being cold) was that the water pipes under/in the house froze because other than the bedroom the rest was not or sporadically heated. If they have electricity, giving them an electric blanket might be a relatively cheap thing to do that would be helpful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnMyOwn Posted January 16, 2016 Share Posted January 16, 2016 Well it appears that they did pay them a visit. At this time we don't have any details because the mom suspects it was us. We only know because she called screaming about how we will not be seeing the children again. Sigh. My mom is heartbroken. I hope that they help the kids, but myself and my mother are the only stable family members the young boy has. I hope this doesn't take that away from him. I'm so sorry to hear that happened. I hope it turns out okay and that you are able to see him again.😢 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sdel Posted January 16, 2016 Share Posted January 16, 2016 Sigh. My mom is heartbroken. I hope that they help the kids, but myself and my mother are the only stable family members the young boy has. I hope this doesn't take that away from him. Worst case, your mom may be able to sue for grandparents rights. She has relationships with those kids and her son doesn't have normal visitation. Those are usually the two criteria under which grandparent rights can be won. Stefanie 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SJ. Posted January 18, 2016 Share Posted January 18, 2016 What a sad situation, I hope the family is able to get the help they need. Perhaps I missed something but is there a reason why your brother does not have custody of the children if things are so bad with the mother? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muttmomma Posted January 18, 2016 Author Share Posted January 18, 2016 My brother, sadly isn't much better. He would be unlikely to win custody. He works odd hours, parties and stopped paying child support about a year ago. I think there is subpoena out for non payment right now. The mom hands all money over to her boyfriend.... Where it goes from the, we don't know. That is why we don't give them anything anymore. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted January 18, 2016 Share Posted January 18, 2016 I know it is really hard. But you called CPS for the right reasons. CPS decided to actually look into it because they felt like the situation warranted their attention. I know that quite often these situations are so tied up with abusive thinking and behavior that it's hard to see happy outcomes - at least quickly. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kwg Posted January 19, 2016 Share Posted January 19, 2016 I am laying here tonight with such inner conflict. This family has been in turmoil for the least several weeks. Parents shouting at each other multiple times a day, right there with the kids. Still no heat. It is ten degrees here. They are out of wood for the fireplace, and have one space heater in a bedroom. I saw your updaate that you called and she yelled at you but I have not seen if the family actually got any heat? Any news on that? It is cold to me! And I remember not having heat as a child- it looms large in my mind anyway whether it was life and death or just plain old uncomfortable. I still remember little ice cube fish in the fish tank. It was cold! And we had a woodstve we used to heat the house but also to cook on and heat water. I wondered that when you said they were dirty- do they have anything to heat water up for baths. We lived in the south so I doubt it got mortal danger type stuff but it was no picnic either. Just thinking about them. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muttmomma Posted January 20, 2016 Author Share Posted January 20, 2016 We don't know anything. She won't take any calls from us. It's hard. It's in the single digits here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IfIOnly Posted January 31, 2016 Share Posted January 31, 2016 We don't know anything. She won't take any calls from us. It's hard. It's in the single digits here. muttmomma, I've been thinking about you often and hoping and praying for all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted January 31, 2016 Share Posted January 31, 2016 Can you stop by for a visit? Are the kids ever alone? If so stop by then and say hi and see how things are going. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muttmomma Posted February 25, 2016 Author Share Posted February 25, 2016 Long overdue update. The mom eventually let the kids come back over. Cps did nothing to help them. They walked through the house and read of the list of "complaints" verbatim (this is why she knew it was us) so much for being anonymous. They found nothing putting the children in immediate danger and closed the case. (mean while dad is getting high and taking a hammer to furniture in rage) sigh. GOOD news is that mom has secured a spot for and kids at a women's and children's program. They will have their own room and bathroom. That also help you get in to it yet and learn to manage money etc. They will be technically homeless and will get assistance with housing etc after a period of time. I think this is rude best possible outcome, and just hope she sticks to it. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnMyOwn Posted February 25, 2016 Share Posted February 25, 2016 Long overdue update. The mom eventually let the kids come back over. Cps did nothing to help them. They walked through the house and read of the list of "complaints" verbatim (this is why she knew it was us) so much for being anonymous. They found nothing putting the children in immediate danger and closed the case. (mean while dad is getting high and taking a hammer to furniture in rage) sigh. GOOD news is that mom has secured a spot for and kids at a women's and children's program. They will have their own room and bathroom. That also help you get in to it yet and learn to manage money etc. They will be technically homeless and will get assistance with housing etc after a period of time. I think this is rude best possible outcome, and just hope she sticks to it. I'm so glad you are able to see those children again. I hope the mom gets a spot soon and that things start moving ina positive direction for those kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ravin Posted February 25, 2016 Share Posted February 25, 2016 I'm glad the mom seems to have treated the CPS visit as a wake up call, and is communicating and letting the kids see extended family again, and getting help. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted February 25, 2016 Share Posted February 25, 2016 Yes, I'm glad something changed and hopefully for the better. At least she knows you care about her and the kids. That's a lot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mimm Posted February 25, 2016 Share Posted February 25, 2016 Long overdue update. The mom eventually let the kids come back over. Cps did nothing to help them. They walked through the house and read of the list of "complaints" verbatim (this is why she knew it was us) so much for being anonymous. They found nothing putting the children in immediate danger and closed the case. (mean while dad is getting high and taking a hammer to furniture in rage) sigh. GOOD news is that mom has secured a spot for and kids at a women's and children's program. They will have their own room and bathroom. That also help you get in to it yet and learn to manage money etc. They will be technically homeless and will get assistance with housing etc after a period of time. I think this is rude best possible outcome, and just hope she sticks to it. I'm flabbergasted at how poorly this was handled by CPS. But glad to hear there is good news as well. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LucyStoner Posted February 25, 2016 Share Posted February 25, 2016 I'm flabbergasted at how poorly this was handled by CPS. But glad to hear there is good news as well. IME, that's about par for the course until they get many calls from different people about the same family. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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