The downside of Facebook

[poppy]

I posted before that I wish everyone was on Facebook to make communication and event planning easier.   The downside? Learning things you wouldn't know from polite conversation.

 

Like, my mother in law thinks everyone on welfare should be drug tested.  She is well off thanks to her husband, has never worked, and is on a big cocktail of drugs thanks to her pill-happy doc, but she stands in judgement.

 

Like, one of my best friends is anti-vax, I'm not, has never been an issue between us until she started posting tons of "why my kids don't have autism" links. 

 

I am sure my political beliefs would horrify some of my acquaintances too.

 

I don't know how much of myself to reveal sometimes. I try to avoid politics.  But really, it's impossible.  A friend is getting married.......... she is a woman marrying a woman.  I'm not going to not "like" her photos because it's political. Quite the contrary.

 

How do you find balance?

Obviously, in some cases, if someone unfriends me for political reasons..... so be it. 

But family and good friends, it's harder.

[sassenach]

I have 2 FB accounts. One for my homeschool group. It is a friendless account. The other has only friends that live outside of my area. On that account, I ruthlessly unfollow people and I make very sure that my friends are people I actually care about keeping in touch with. Recently, one of my FB friends posted an incredibly rude post connected to vaccinations. I realized that she wasn't someone that I was ever close enough to to want to wade through that crap, so I unfriended her. Problem solved. I also deactivate that account for long swaths of time.

 

At some point I realized that FB needed to work for me rather than against. Making it solely a long distance account went a long, long way towards bringing that balance.

[Mimm]

I post almost nothing. Cute pictures of my kids maybe a couple times a month. I have people from a very wide political and religious spectrum. I've unfriended someone quite recently for being quite offensive (saying ADHD doesn't exist and parents who medicate for it are criminals drugging their children because they're just lazy- my oldest has ADHD). I don't know what she was thinking posting that. That everyone on her friends list would agree? It was really quite rude and rather hurtful. I have people posting political rants and calling anyone who disagrees stupid. I am dreading the next presidential election and will probably be taking a Facebook break or unfollowing most of my friends list. I know people are free to say what they want, but why would you say something you wouldn't announce to your entire friend list to their faces? What is it about Facebook that makes people so confident and assertive and rude?

[Lizzie in Ma]

You can use the pull down arrow on a post or go your friend or your family members page and use the pull down menu on the friends button to change what you see from them.  Would that help?

[ILiveInFlipFlops]

This is my biggest problem with FB. Those kinds of FB posts are things I'd never discuss with them in real life, and I don't want to know those things about my friends and family. I don't want to know their thoughts on every tiny thing. I don't want to be thinking about their annoying posts the next time I see them and have to talk to them!

 

I don't think I've ever unfriended anyone, but most of the people I'm friends with (all 80 :lol:) don't post REALLY egregious stuff. Even so, when a friend gets to be over my threshold for smug, self-righteous posts, it starts to make my FB experience particularly irritating and I'll hide him or her for the sake of my sanity. I don't really want to be on FB in the first place, but I feel like I'm forced to be so we can be part of our local HSing community. If I HAVE to be there, then like Sassenach said, I have to make it work for me. 

 

For me, it's definitely the big downside of being FB :(

[Heatherwith4]

Yes, I have learned many things about people that I really didn't want to know. Most of my FB friends do not post obnoxious articles and memes. However, I have a handful that are prone to sharing numerous articles, pictures, memes, etc., that really don't paint a flattering picture of them as a person. Some of these people I have unfriended, or even blocked. Others I just unfollow.

 

I would really offend many people on my fb if I posted my true opinions on a variety of topics, but that's not what I have fb for, and I just don't think it's good manners in General.

 

Also, believe it or not, people can really show their true colors regarding college football. Last year I deactivated my account during the season, because I was tired of people putting down the actual students/alumni of certain schools over football.

[Seeking Squirrels]

What I don't like about FB right now is there is no way to make your activity private, at least that I've found. I can choose who sees things *I* post, but not what I like or comment on. That bothers me and makes it so I can't be "me" on fb. I am an atheist but my grandma doesn't know this and I do not plan on letting her know. DH is worried about his extended family finding out because it might make waves for his mom. So now I have just a handful of people on my FB that I can't unfriend but neither can I do anything that might tip them off. I'm on several pages that I can't even like stuff I like or comment on because then it might come across their news feeds. Even just liking the page may show up for them, but that's not as telling as a comment or particular like.

 

I've thought of making a second page for this small group of people, but my grandma is on primarily so she can see pictures of my kids. Moving her to a different page would cut off her access to almost 7 years of pics of them unless I tediously move everything over. Even then her comments and likes would be gone.

 

If my friends post things I get tired of seeing, I first try to block whatever page they are sharing from. If it still gets to the point I don't want to see any of their posts then I hide them, assuming I still want to maintain the contact. I don't unfriend people too often.

[Lady Florida.]

Yeah, it can be tough sometimes and like you said you learn things about people you never really wanted to know.

 

Like a friend who is otherwise normal and with whom I have regular contact is a conspiracy theorist and believes in chem trails. Don't know what those are? Google them. I did and went  :001_huh:

 

Like two other friends think sunscreen is more dangerous than going out in the Florida sun unprotected. 

 

 

 I keep my page drama free yet I bet there are still some things people learned about me that they wish they didn't know. Occasionally I get tired of all the woo posts from friends and will post a science post, but mostly I just post photos and fun stuff. I don't "like" political posts by friends even when I agree with them, because I don't want to encourage that kind of thing. 

 

If I were you, I wouldn't not like those wedding photos but I might be prepared to respond politely to anyone who might have something nasty to say about it.

[Upward Journey]

I have 2 FB accounts. One for my homeschool group. It is a friendless account. The other has only friends that live outside of my area. On that account, I ruthlessly unfollow people and I make very sure that my friends are people I actually care about keeping in touch with. Recently, one of my FB friends posted an incredibly rude post connected to vaccinations. I realized that she wasn't someone that I was ever close enough to to want to wade through that crap, so I unfriended her. Problem solved. I also deactivate that account for long swaths of time.

 

At some point I realized that FB needed to work for me rather than against. Making it solely a long distance account went a long, long way towards bringing that balance.

 

I use FB as a long distance thing, too.  I only have four local contacts.  

 

And I freely hide people who annoy me.

[Guest]

I post next to nothing.

 

FB baffles me.

 

A girl I went to college with posted "so embarrassing to run into an ex while buying tampons". Not too embarrassing apparently.

 

A cousin posted on Valentine's Day that she was really hoping a certain ex would see the error of his ways and send her flowers because "the heart wants what it wants". FB is not your diary!

[imagine.more]

I closed my Facebook account and opened a new one under a nickname and only friended a select handful of long-distance friends I actually want to keep up with. All of them are polite enough to not post political nonsense. 

 

Honestly it was too stressful to me and I couldn't just unfriend neighbors or un-see the fact that one thinks Catholics are going to hell and another thinks people on welfare are lazy. It colors my view of them negatively and we're not that close...I'd never talk about these things with them IRL but it's upsetting to see them post it on facebook when they know perfectly well for example that I'm Catholic and that as their Facebook friend I would see that. The political stuff like welfare opinions, gun laws, etc are not personal so they're annoying but not personally upsetting. But to see someone post something that applies to me is super offensive. And honestly when I see too many of those political posts I start to see the person in a different light and not a positive one. 

 

So yeah, I keep a private account for my long-distance friends and some groups, that's it. It's much more manageable and I don't find I miss out on much that way. My DH has had a Facebook account for years and has no problem with it, he has friends with wildly opposing views on religious and political topics on both sides of any spectrum but he's so chill it truly doesn't bother him. 

[PrincessMommy]

I posted before that I wish everyone was on Facebook to make communication and event planning easier.   The downside? Learning things you wouldn't know from polite conversation.

 

Like, my mother in law thinks everyone on welfare should be drug tested.  She is well off thanks to her husband, has never worked, and is on a big cocktail of drugs thanks to her pill-happy doc, but she stands in judgement.

 

Like, one of my best friends is anti-vax, I'm not, has never been an issue between us until she started posting tons of "why my kids don't have autism" links. 

 

I am sure my political beliefs would horrify some of my acquaintances too.

 

I don't know how much of myself to reveal sometimes. I try to avoid politics.  But really, it's impossible.  A friend is getting married.......... she is a woman marrying a woman.  I'm not going to not "like" her photos because it's political. Quite the contrary.

 

How do you find balance?

Obviously, in some cases, if someone unfriends me for political reasons..... so be it. 

But family and good friends, it's harder.

 

It's one of the reasons why I rarely friend people who live close to me...esp. friends.    I'm friends with a few and I kind of regret it actually. 

 

Like you I never know how much to reveal.  I don't talk politics - ugh.   But, my faith is pretty important to me in everyday life- but I assume most people don't want a barage of that stuff - not matter what their religious affiliation is or isn't. 

 

Can you hide everything from people like your best friend?  Then just occasionally check her status in case there's something important you wouldn't want to miss. 

 

[SKL]

My friends are very diverse.  I very rarely comment on controversial posts, nor do I "like" posts that are likely to offend any of my sincere friends.  Though I won't go overboard on political correctness just because someone might take it too personally.

 

I post infrequently, and it is almost always about my kids or my vacations.  Fairly safe stuff, though I am sure some people take umbrage when I "brag" about being able to travel or about having kids who have enjoyed a small accomplishment.

 

Some of my friends are a little extreme on some topics.  Well, that is nothing new.  We all have opinions that are unpopular in some circles.  If people feel the need to get it out in front of their facebook friends, I don't really care.  We are all adults.

[marbel]

I know what you mean. 

 

I've hidden some people (or stopped following them, whatever it's called now) because of their obnoxious comments.  Sometimes it's even someone whose "message" I agree with!  A woman used to post a lot of pro-homeschooling articles - the kind that only seek to how that homeschooling is superior to other forms of education.  I find those obnoxious even though I do homeschool my kids.  It got tiresome.  Occasionally she would even send me a message to ask if I'd seen the post and what did I think of it.  Jeepers, back off, 'k?

 

Another problem though is that people will read into things too much.  For a while I had a photo of a certain pink animal as my profile pic, for no other reason but that my family likes this particular animal.  This was when there was a lot of ssm debate going on, and several people assumed I was making a pro-ssm stand.  I don't put my political or social views up on fb.   So I took my cute photo  down, simply because the assumptions and reactions (both negative and positive) bugged me.

 

I do like to see what my far-flung family members are doing, so I keep it, but most of my posts consist of sharing recipes and liking baby pics. 

[G5052]

I dropped mine several years ago, and then went back because there were professional reasons why I really needed it.  I have a few friends that I never see now that I've friended.

 

Other than my professional interactions I rarely post.  I'm sure that some people wonder why I'm even on!

[catz]

Anyone that uses their FB account as a bully pulpit quickly gets turned off or unfriended on my feed.  That includes relatives and people I generally agree with.  I generally post stuff on my feed related to our family, although I might occassionally share a non-inflammatory interesting link.  Mostly stuff my parents would be interested in from across the country.  Although that's a problem for some people too.  Like my kid does theater and music. If I post something cool my kid has done (and I am careful about tone), sometimes the competitive parents will come out of the wood work and jab or they'll unfriend me.  LOL.  Whatever.  Don't let the door hit you.  I'm usually the first one posting on other parent's wall when their kids do something cool or amazing.  And when I say something about my kids it would be like a photo of my kid in costume at a show or a recital.  Or announce kid got a role in a new theater production or something like that.  Interesting what some people consider inflammatory.  Some people also think it's inflammatory if I post photos of vacations too.  Mmm ... ok then.

 

All that said, I have a nice lovely feed now.  One thing I really like about FB is seeing what local business, museums, and theaters have going on.  Private board capabilities are nice too.   

[HS Mom in NC]

I simply ignore the posts other people make that I don't agree with or don't find interesting. I have friends all over the political and spiritual spectrum.  Some live lifestyles I strongly disagree with. I'm not obligated to read any of their posts and can skip right over them easily.  Sometimes they post things that aren't offensive so I usually keep them around.  But that's just like real life isn't it? That doesn't mean I avoid them IRL.

 

People who post constantly about any one topic (even topics I agree with) get blocked.  I don't get my fill of politics from FB, so I ignore those posts. Not that I think it's wrong or bad to post political or religious things, usually I'm irritated by the volume of some posts people will put out there.  I blocked one casual acquaintance who, I'm pretty sure, posted the link to every single news article she read every day.  10-12 a day was not unusual. B-bye!  Anyone posting several times a day on a regular basis gets the ax.

I'm into FB to keep up with people. I like to read the funny things their kids said, family pictures on their hike, how that procedure went, when the funeral is, the kids in their tree house, their latest project completed, a family vacation photo or two (no more than that) announcing the new job/engagement/ house, seeing the baby, wedding photos, etc.

 

I like interesting links from likeminded people.  I've seen some education links, crafting links, household management links, science links, history links, interesting new stories, movie or book review links which were worth reading. I appreciate when people post those.

I'm surprised how many people on FB don't actually post things about their lives.  It's all funny phrases someone else wrote, recipes, links to the new movie trailer, a Bible verse, etc.  I'm not opposed to the Bible verses, but it surprises me how many people will just quote a verse and not comment on some way God demonstrated Himself in that truth in their lives.

 

Intimate details annoy me.  I think some people need to learn the difference between FB and a diary. Some people just don't get it.

 

[LibraryLover]

I'd rather know what you really think. I don't post a lot of political stuff, but I don't hide the fact that certain things matter to me.

I try to be kind and supportive.  Mostly, I just post pictures.

[texasmama]

I've recently unfriended about 80 people, and I unfollowed many more.  I have a love-hate relationship with FB.  I never post anything political ever.  Well, once I posted that I thought Mitt Romney looked very good for his age.  lol  That's it.  I didn't endorse him or vilify him.  Just that he's kind of a good looking old dude.  I'm not very political so that helps.  But I unfollow people in a heartbeat who are too political or who use FB only to push their multi level marketing business.  I had to unfollow one person due to constant agregious grammar, spelling and capitalization errors.  I could not take it anymore.  FB hurts my feelings sometimes, and a few months back I turned off my account for a few weeks.  I will likely do that again in the future.  I don't post any vax stuff or political stuff.  I occasionally post something religious because I am, well, a person of faith.  That is part of who I am so if people object to that soundly, they probably don't need to be on my friends' list anyway and are welcome to unfollow or unfriend me.

 

ETA:  I post an average of 1-2 times a week, usually a picture of my kids, pets, something funny or a truly helpful article...but the latter are few.

[catz]

I post next to nothing.

 

FB baffles me.

 

A girl I went to college with posted "so embarrassing to run into an ex while buying tampons". Not too embarrassing apparently.

 

A cousin posted on Valentine's Day that she was really hoping a certain ex would see the error of his ways and send her flowers because "the heart wants what it wants". FB is not your diary!

 

Those are hilarious!  I don't see too much of that stuff on my feed, but I do see the occasional vague booking post.  People who vaguebook all the time definitely get the unfollow and/or unfriend.

 

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Vaguebooking

 

I'm not a huge fan of using FB as a sounding board for personal problems or a diary. 

 

I also think it's weird when adults have to shout out to their besties all the time on FB.  "Suzie and Betsy are the best friends ever.  Great night girls!  Let's do it again soon!" with photos of them having margaritas.  To me it's kind of similar to having a party and then telling a bunch of people who you aren't going to invite about it.  I'm probably oversensitive about this kind of thing actually.  I rarely post photos of other people or their kids or announce what group events we're at. 

 

It would take very little digging into my FB account to see my likes and dislikes and figure out my (lack of) religious and political leanings.  I just don't post about it.  I occasionally will get into civil discussions on other people's posts based on a link from a reputable source.

[kristi26]

I actually just "unfollow" the people that are making me crazy. Lol. On a different note, have you seen those shirts come through your feed about calling oneself a homeschool mom because awesomely amazing super talented ninja is already taken? I homeschool and those shirts bug ME. Lol. (No offense to anyone who thinks they're wonderful)

[texasmama]

I also think it's weird when adults have to shout out to their besties all the time on FB.  "Suzie and Betsy are the best friends ever.  Great night girls!  Let's do it again soon!" with photos of them having margaritas.  To me it's kind of similar to having a party and then telling a bunch of people who you aren't going to invite about it.  I'm probably oversensitive about this kind of thing actually.  I rarely post photos of other people or their kids or announce what group events we're at. 

The above caused me to unplug my account for a time.  I was tired of seeing pictures of high school friends at events I was not invited to.  Clique-ish, much?  I think the reason is due to them being empty nesters and drinkers and me not being either of those, but it was still hurtful.  The last straw (for me) was when I saw a picture of high school friends at one of the friend's son's wedding.  I didn't even know he was getting married.  I realized that it was my oversensitivity to these things that was the issue, so I ditched FB for awhile.  Before FB, you could be not invited and not have 50 smiling pictures to remind you of it.  Nice, actually.

[SKL]

I post next to nothing.

 

FB baffles me.

 

A girl I went to college with posted "so embarrassing to run into an ex while buying tampons". Not too embarrassing apparently.

 

A cousin posted on Valentine's Day that she was really hoping a certain ex would see the error of his ways and send her flowers because "the heart wants what it wants". FB is not your diary!

 

I have this friend (whom I don't know IRL, but we have something important in common), who for a couple of weeks kept switching her profile picture between 1. a photo of her & her man and 2. same photo of her with her man cut out.  Along with cryptic "oh woe is me" comments.  I know it isn't funny, but ....

 

[Slartibartfast]

I don't necessarily unfollow people who post too much political content but I do unfriend/unfollow who post crazy/racist/annoying political content.

 

If people are posting smart things, even if I don't agree with it then I am ok with that. Posting idiotic memes that are just flat out offensive all the time is really annoying to me. I just removed someone for that yesterday.

[texasmama]

Also, because I am verbose serial poster :D , I have a friend who is practically housebound with mental illness and an ill, elderly mother who fills up a huge amount of my feed.  I don't unfollow her because I try to support her in any way I can.

[mellifera33]

Ugh. Fb seems to induce ITG syndrome in some of my acquaintances. I have unfollowed many people over the years, and usually deactivate during election season. I post kid pics, funny things my kids say, and occasionally a question about a local event or business.

[Catwoman]

I have this friend (whom I don't know IRL, but we have something important in common), who for a couple of weeks kept switching her profile picture between 1. a photo of her & her man and 2. same photo of her with her man cut out. Along with cryptic "oh woe is me" comments. I know it isn't funny, but ....

 

Well, it's kinda funny... ;)

[PeachyDoodle]

I posted before that I wish everyone was on Facebook to make communication and event planning easier.   The downside? Learning things you wouldn't know from polite conversation.

 

Like, my mother in law thinks everyone on welfare should be drug tested.  She is well off thanks to her husband, has never worked, and is on a big cocktail of drugs thanks to her pill-happy doc, but she stands in judgement.

 

Like, one of my best friends is anti-vax, I'm not, has never been an issue between us until she started posting tons of "why my kids don't have autism" links. 

 

I am sure my political beliefs would horrify some of my acquaintances too.

 

I don't know how much of myself to reveal sometimes. I try to avoid politics.  But really, it's impossible.  A friend is getting married.......... she is a woman marrying a woman.  I'm not going to not "like" her photos because it's political. Quite the contrary.

 

How do you find balance?

Obviously, in some cases, if someone unfriends me for political reasons..... so be it. 

But family and good friends, it's harder.

 

I can relate. My very best friend from college and I have grown to vastly different ends of the political spectrum. (We used to hold fairly similar beliefs.) I finally unfollowed her on FB when I realized her political postings were coloring my opinion of her and affecting our friendship. These are not things we typically discuss in person, or, if we do, we can do so respectfully. I didn't want FB to come between us.

 

The downside is that I sometimes miss important stuff she posts related to her life. Then she will say, "Didn't you see my FB post about...?" And I have to say, "Darn FB messing with my news feed!" :001_unsure:

 

 

[catz]

The above caused me to unplug my account for a time.  I was tired of seeing pictures of high school friends at events I was not invited to.  Clique-ish, much?  I think the reason is due to them being empty nesters and drinkers and me not being either of those, but it was still hurtful.  The last straw (for me) was when I saw a picture of high school friends at one of the friend's son's wedding.  I didn't even know he was getting married.  I realized that it was my oversensitivity to these things that was the issue, so I ditched FB for awhile.  Before FB, you could be not invited and not have 50 smiling pictures to remind you of it.  Nice, actually.

 

For me it's people I see constantly really.  With older friends it doesn't bug me at all.  Like there are some moms that homeschool that have kids in my age range and live within 5 miles of me.  I regularly see them at other things.  And they've created a homeschool clique.  I actually tolerate them on my feed because I really like these women in all other ways.  But I know some other people have been deeply hurt by it.  There are a few moms from our church that can be a little bit this way too.  All within 5 miles of me and have kids same age as me.  I have actually only unfriened/followed one person due to this.   It just mildly annoys me.  And it's about tone too. 

 

Like someone posting wedding pictures of their son's wedding is no big deal to me.  Even if I wasn't invited and I see people I know in the picture.  I would enjoy seeing those photos actually.  Guests of the wedding posting selfies together with things like "My old high school buds are the best  #selfieBFFs!" I find obnoxious and immature, especially if there were people from that circle left out and seeing those pictures. 

[texasmama]

For me it's people I see constantly really.  With older friends it doesn't bug me at all.  Like there are some moms that homeschool that have kids in my age range and live within 5 miles of me.  I regularly see them at other things.  And they've created a homeschool clique.  I actually tolerate them on my feed because I really like these women in all other ways.  But I know some other people have been deeply hurt by it.  There are a few moms from our church that can be a little bit this way too.  All within 5 miles of me and have kids same age as me.  I have actually only unfriened/followed one person due to this.   It just mildly annoys me.  And it's about tone too. 

 

Like someone posting wedding pictures of their son's wedding is no big deal to me.  Even if I wasn't invited and I see people I know in the picture.  I would enjoy seeing those photos actually.  Guests of the wedding posting selfies together with things like "My old high school buds are the best  #selfieBFFs!" I find obnoxious and immature, especially if there were people from that circle left out and seeing those pictures. 

It was kind of like the bolded.  And mutual friends have also taken to writing on each other's walls about events they will invite so and so and such and such to.  I did find it hurtful.  In the end, I decided not to personalize it, and to take a break from FB.  Also, I decided that I don't have the time or any real interest in attending a lot of social events at this time in my life anyway.  I'm just kind of sensitive like that so I owned my issue and took care of it.  FB should not make one sad or mad.  If it does, it's time for a break.

[Maela]

I am ruthless about unfollowing. Unless they are very close friends/family. Then I grin and bear it because those people are very important to me.

[poppy]

My friends are very diverse.  I very rarely comment on controversial posts, nor do I "like" posts that are likely to offend any of my sincere friends.  Though I won't go overboard on political correctness just because someone might take it too personally.

 

I post infrequently, and it is almost always about my kids or my vacations.  Fairly safe stuff, though I am sure some people take umbrage when I "brag" about being able to travel or about having kids who have enjoyed a small accomplishment.

 

Some of my friends are a little extreme on some topics.  Well, that is nothing new.  We all have opinions that are unpopular in some circles.  If people feel the need to get it out in front of their facebook friends, I don't really care.  We are all adults.

 

I get this stance, but would you not "like" a photo of a wedding between two friends (who are gay) because it would offend some friends? Or, insert your own very important to some, might be offensive to others topic.

[SKL]

I get this stance, but would you not "like" a photo of a wedding between two friends (who are gay) because it would offend some friends? Or, insert your own very important to some, might be offensive to others topic.

 

I don't think my liking a post makes it show up on other people's timelines.  But even if it did, "liking" a friend's wedding photo is not a political statement.  At least, it wouldn't be for me.  Now if my friends of either political persuasion posted a political statement pertaining to homosexuality, I would be very unlikely to either like or comment on it.  I just don't have any need or desire to go there.

[LibraryLover]

I love it when people post lots of photos. I love the photos!

[poppy]

I don't think my liking a post makes it show up on other people's timelines.  But even if it did, "liking" a friend's wedding photo is not a political statement.  At least, it wouldn't be for me.  Now if my friends of either political persuasion posted a political statement pertaining to homosexuality, I would be very unlikely to either like or comment on it.  I just don't have any need or desire to go there.

 

I can see friends "likes" and where they commented on the right side of my window.

It's great, I see a lot of things I wouldn't see otherwise..... social media working like it should.

But then someone has to go and like a political post that is contrary to all good sense and reason.  Downside of social media.

[Lady Florida.]

I'd rather know what you really think. I don't post a lot of political stuff, but I don't hide the fact that certain things matter to me.

I try to be kind and supportive.  Mostly, I just post pictures.

 

I think there's a difference between not hiding what you really think and beating people over the head with it. The people I get annoyed with post almost daily, and some of them post several times a day.

 

The people in my life who matter know my beliefs and my stands on issues. I don't feel the need to repeatedly remind them on facebook and I appreciate when they offer me the same courtesy. 

[AmandaVT]

What I don't like about FB right now is there is no way to make your activity private, at least that I've found. I can choose who sees things *I* post, but not what I like or comment on. That bothers me and makes it so I can't be "me" on fb. I am an atheist but my grandma doesn't know this and I do not plan on letting her know. DH is worried about his extended family finding out because it might make waves for his mom. So now I have just a handful of people on my FB that I can't unfriend but neither can I do anything that might tip them off. I'm on several pages that I can't even like stuff I like or comment on because then it might come across their news feeds. Even just liking the page may show up for them, but that's not as telling as a comment or particular like.

 

 

This makes me crazy too. My mom said something to me the other day and it wasn't a huge deal, but she was commenting on a comment I had made on a friend's post. I asked her how she knew about the conversation (forgetting that everyone can see my activity) and she told me it popped up on her sidebar and she clicked on my friend's post. It wasn't anything interesting, but it was annoying.

[ErinE]

 

I don't know how much of myself to reveal sometimes. I try to avoid politics. But really, it's impossible. A friend is getting married.......... she is a woman marrying a woman. I'm not going to not "like" her photos because it's political. Quite the contrary.

 

 

In this case, I'm happy for my relative, friend, or acquaintance so I don't care if other people see I've commented or "liked" a status. I have a wide variety of friends. I'm good friends with a retired conservative cop; I'm good friends with a liberal east-coast lawyer. I have many fundamentalist friends and many atheist, agnostic or "can't we all just disagree" friends. I am my own person and I try not to judge other people by their political or religious affiliations.

 

Most of the people I friend I consider to be good people, otherwise I wouldn't "friend" them.

[LucyStoner]

Yeah, it's also awkward for divorces. My cousin and his wife divorced but didn't really let anyone know directly, we were left to surmise it from their mixture of overshare, vaguebooking and passive aggressive link posting. But we never got word of it or a change of address, I was seriously unsure what to do for their Christmas card. Pre-Facebook my aunt or someone would have let us know via phone or something. Awkward in the extreme. Also, do I unfriend the ex wife? Or do I stay connected since she's the one most likely to keep me in the loop about their kids? The intricacies of modern life. :P

[Slartibartfast]

Yeah, it's also awkward for divorces. My cousin and his wife divorced but didn't really let anyone know directly, we were left to surmise it from their mixture of overshare, vaguebooking and passive aggressive link posting. But we never got word of it or a change of address, I was seriously unsure what to do for their Christmas card. Pre-Facebook my aunt or someone would have let us know via phone or something. Awkward in the extreme. Also, do I unfriend the ex wife? Or do I stay connected since she's the one most likely to keep me in the loop about their kids? The intricacies of modern life. :p

 

 

It was really awkward when BIL and SIL decided to divorce. She went all crazy posting nasty things in front of my kid, in front of his kid..one would think an adult would know better than to behave like that when they are friends with kids on FB. I had dd block her, then she blocked the rest of his family (including her stepson) for "spying." :lol: She really doesn't know his family after all if she thinks anyone wants to be bothered with any sort of silliness like that.

 

Sheesh!

[Aelwydd]

I posted before that I wish everyone was on Facebook to make communication and event planning easier.   The downside? Learning things you wouldn't know from polite conversation.

 

Like, my mother in law thinks everyone on welfare should be drug tested.  She is well off thanks to her husband, has never worked, and is on a big cocktail of drugs thanks to her pill-happy doc, but she stands in judgement.

 

Like, one of my best friends is anti-vax, I'm not, has never been an issue between us until she started posting tons of "why my kids don't have autism" links. 

 

I am sure my political beliefs would horrify some of my acquaintances too.

 

I don't know how much of myself to reveal sometimes. I try to avoid politics.  But really, it's impossible.  A friend is getting married.......... she is a woman marrying a woman.  I'm not going to not "like" her photos because it's political. Quite the contrary.

 

How do you find balance?

Obviously, in some cases, if someone unfriends me for political reasons..... so be it. 

But family and good friends, it's harder.

 

This is so why I don't have a FB account, lol.  Too many family members on it, and far too many family functions over the year.  I've observed multiple heated debates during the holidays and other get togethers over stuff posted on FB. 

 

I totally feel ya on this one.

 

[kiana]

I like FB a lot, but I block people who irritate the snot out of me without compunction. I mostly post stuff that makes me laugh. 

[KrissiK]

I like FB. I, too, have friends who are on the opposite end of the social/ political spectrum from me, but I don't let their opinions bother me. They amuse me, actually. One friend posts about every inane thing that happens in her life. "I have a cold today". Another one posts about how wonderful SoCal living is, and pictures from their yacht and all the fancy parties they go to. I usually roll my eyes at those posts. Life can't be that great all the time. I rarely post. Usually it's cute things my kids say or do. Stuff like that.

[DawnM]

I enjoy FB for the most part.  I find it so great to keep up with people I don't always get to see or talk to, people I grew up with, etc.....

 

I don't post anything political or even controversial, although some might be offended by my boys' scout achievements, or by a verse or two I post of scripture.

 

But most of what I post is about my kids.

 

I have hidden several people from my feed due to political posts calling the other side idiots and morons.  I just have no patience for it.  Some people get over zealous.  

 

There have been a few occasions I have gotten upset by posts about immigration or welfare and I have chosen to respond.  I have almost always regretted it since the only ones who post agree with the OP and I am lambasted as being far too liberal.   However, sometimes, particularly when it is racial, I don't regret it at all.  They can unfriend me or whatever, I cannot tolerate racism, particularly from those who *think* they aren't being racist......if your comment starts with, "I'm not a racist BUT....." you should just shut up.

 

Ok, my rant for the day......

[kiana]

Dawn: http://imgur.com/gallery/6sPrzhY

[SparklyUnicorn]

Well, I just try to be real.  What you see is what you get.  I know some people were surprised to discover I'm an atheist.  They still talk to me so...

 

This doesn't mean I act in a nasty way towards people I don't agree with or on a point I don't agree with.  I don't expect people to always agree with me either, but they don't need to be nasty. KWIM?  But that is also in line with how I really am. 

 

Sometimes people post stuff I disagree with a great deal.  I just delete it off my feed and move on with my life. 

[Lisbeth]

Hmmm. I just read everyone's opinions and move on. Or glance at them. I honestly don't understand all of the intolerance of diverse opinions or self-censorship. I am not a small-talk person though. I hate small talk most of the time. Safe posting in order to be PC just seems like FB small talk. I do like hearing about the special outings of friends and seeing their pics.

[hornblower]

I like it because I get little updates from friends that are distant geographically, or emotionally, kwim? There are many people who are better friends online than irl. Online I can just drop in, see their holiday snaps, or their new hair cut, chit chat a bit & move on.

Most of the people I'm friends with are animal people, dog training nerds, writers and a few homeschoolers. I'm guessing well over half are people I've never met irl. I actually like the bully pulpit aspect of it.  The negative thing of that though is that you sometimes end up in an echo chamber - esp when people start deleting anyone that doesn't agree with them..

FB has for many people replaced their blogs. It's just a place to update about their life & opinions & yak about whatever made them feel ranty.

I run FB Purity as an extension so I don't see ads & I also get notifications when people unfriend me. It's almost always after I post something about animal rights or vegetarianism/veganism :p

People have to post pretty egregious stuff for me to delete them. I mostly just mute people instead of unfriending them.

[WVNA]

Full disclosure: I despise facebook. I don't have an account there and refuse to get one.

 

I need to ask a question based on the OP's first sentence, "I wish everyone was on Facebook to make communication and event planning easier." In all seriousness, how does facebook make communication easier? I ask since to communicate with facebook requires an account there. With email (which you need to create an account on facebook), I can choose what service to use and am not locked into a single provider.

 

[kiana]

You can send out an event and people can one-click respond. You then get a list of everyone who's attending without having to cull the names from an email and write them down, and people who alter their response automatically update.