I am very depressed

[Elisabet1]

I am so depressed that I have mostly sat around cried for a few days now. I am pregnant so I don't want to take anything. My son who has Aspergers came along after a pregnancy where I used anti-depressants and there are studies linking ASD and some anti-depressants. 

 

Anyone have suggestions?

[Guest submarines]

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

[chocolatechip]

I am so sorry you are going through this. Please take care of yourself! Do you have caring support people around you IRL? Does your husband know how you've been feeling? 

 

Would it help to go out and get coffee with friends? Take a picnic to a park? Watch your favorite TV series/movie? 

 

Big hugs! You can do this!  :grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

 

Prayers for you!

 

 

[Elisabet1]

No, I don't want to go out or anything. My anxiety is just too high. I don't want to go anywhere or do anything.

 

I had two babies die long ago and every time my children leave home, I feel like I am completely thrown back to when they died. I cannot stand it.

 

 

[Lanny]

Please call your OB-GYN and tell him/her about how you are feeling. Please take good care of yourself and your baby. Gentle hugs!

[myfunnybunch]

Call your doctor or midwife, hon. He or she will be able to help find a way to help you feel better and still protect baby.

 

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:  Hugs. Sending you prayers for comfort.

 

Cat

[GinaPagnato]

So sorry you're feeling this way.

 

If you don't want to/can't take meds, make sure you get outside everyday for a minimum of 20 minutes to get your vitamin D. Take short walks throughout the day and also try some stretching/yoga.

 

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

[Guest]

Please call your OB-GYN and tell him/her about how you are feeling. Please take good care of yourself and your baby. Gentle hugs!

i am agreeing with Lanny. I understand not wanting to be on meds while pg, but it is harmful to yourself and your child to be depressed. People on an internet board cannot be of much help. You must get help IRL.

[Mama Geek]

While waiting on your doc, get some exercise.  Exercise will help some.

[BlessedMom]

((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))

So so sorry you are depressed.

[unsinkable]

You need to call your doc. Now. Tell your husband or SO how badly you feel and have him call if you can't.

 

Hugs and prayers

[LucyStoner]

I am so sorry. That is very hard. In navigating life with PTSD, depression and anxiety I have been helped by these things, when pregnant and not:

 

*exercise

*good sleeping conditions

*vitamin D and B

*meditation

*seeing a therapist. Your OB or midwife may be able to suggest someone who specializes in mental health issues surrounding pregnancy.

 

Good luck and I hope things improve for you soon.

[chiguirre]

Anyone have suggestions?

I think that's a natural and reasonable reaction to your dd's college crisis. That would certainly make me depressed and anxious. OTOH, I think it will sort itself out as you get a grip on her plans. I'd give myself 2 or 3 weeks to work through that situation before I tried any remedies.

[bolt.]

Call your doctor. Immediately.

[datgh]

A good councilor can do wonders for anxiety often times as well as medication.  I can't tell you how much it helped me.  I was taught a lot of coping skills. Now when I feel the anxiety start to build I fall back on what I learned.  One of the best tools for me is to focus outward not internally. Examples: Notice the sunset, the leaves on the trees, look at them closely, think about what you see.  Check out the ceiling tiles while you wait in an office.  I mean really study them and think about them. Do you like them, hate them, why?  It forces your mind to stop spinning.  If you feel the spin start again, stop yourself and focus outward again.  It takes some practice but it can really help. I have even picked apart a wall paper pattern while I waited in a doctors office! 

 

:grouphug:  Anxiety robs so much joy in life and it doesn't have to.  Do what you need to do to get your life back.  You should feel happy!

[zoobie]

Please call your doctor. You don't have to take medication to seek treatment. :grouphug:

[flyingiguana]

I used to pull down all the shades on the windows and put Sweatin to the Oldies on the TV.  It may be on youtube, so you maybe don't need the actual tapes or DVDs (I can't find them right now because my computer is refusing to do ANYTHING -- even typing is a challenge for it).

 

If that doesn't work, maybe Zumba on youtube.  You really don't need to do all that jumping around or kicking.  Just do what works for your body right now.  But if you watch everyone else jumping up and down, it might make you feel like you're doing a lot too (one can hope...)

 

It sounds like you really need to do some exercise -- but if going out isn't going to work, this might be a way to start.

 

And call your dr.  But if that seems like too much (I KNOW where you're coming from...), you might try a helpline.  Or get your husband or someone else you trust to call the dr.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[idnib]

There's a link between depression and low zinc in pregnant women and in post-partum depression. 

 

This is an interesting supplement I use because it's also an assay (test). It's liquid zinc and if you have enough zinc in your body, it will taste metallic or mineral-like to you. If it tastes like water, you have a zinc deficiency and you should keep taking it according to directions until you can taste it.

 

ETA: Also agreeing with everyone who says to call your doctor. Finding out your options doesn't mean you actually have to place a pill in your mouth. See what they think, then make a decision.

 

ETA: fixed link

[PrincessMommy]

Agree with others.... also, there may be something new that isn't as dangerous for the baby.  It's worth it to at least ask your dr..

[skeeterbug]

I was so there during my last pregnancy. I remember too well how it feels. I don't know how I made it. I didn't want to take anything either, but I did as soon as baby was born. How far along are you? What country are you in? I have to leave now but will come back to this post later. Just breathe and hang on. You'll get through this. You will.

[JustEm]

Is the crying for a few days usual? By that I mean has it happened before where its been a few days of crying/feeling depressed and then back to normal.  Or is this entirely new.  I ask because I have depression cycles.  Usually for me its about once a month or every 6 weeks where I am depressed and crying for 3 or 4 days then things get back to normal.  This type of depression can be dealt with relatively easily without medication as long as you become aware of your cycle and prepare for it ahead of time.  If it is entirely new and you think it will be an ongoing depression contact your OB.  They can help you without drugs by recommending a therapist and giving you techniques to deal with it without medication.  I've found that talking to someone in person or even over the phone is more helpful than reading idea of what I can do online, even if the advice is the same thing.

[Crimson Wife]

{{{hugs}}} I have to wonder how much of the link between antidepressant use and ASD may be due to underlying biochemical issues with the mom resulting in both depression and the child's ASD. I know a *LOT* of women who had strong family and personal histories of depression who subsequently had a child with ASD, whether or not they took antidepressants during the pregnancy.

[Isabella]

I would really recommend finding an EFT counsellor. EFT stands for emotional freedom technique. I think you'd find that it may help you deal with the residual grief from your babies, and the new grief from your kids leaving. It also helps to isolate and identify what emotions are behind your current sadness, which then allows you to deal with that certain emotion.

 

Please do Google an EFT counsellor in your area, and if you have to travel to him/ her, please do that if your budget can at all squeeze it in. It's been quite life changing in my experience. I only needed four or five sessions, and now I can apply the techniques myself at home to head off any issues before they become too large.

 

I'd also second or third the suggestions of fresh air outdoors. When I was going through a bad patch, I'd go to a certain place and lay on the ground. I'd end up taking note of all the amazing activity at that level...tiny little bugs crawling over grains of sand etc. I would do plenty of crying too, but after half an hour or so I'd feel surprisingly better. I found afterwards that the soil of the earth contains natural anti depressant compounds!

 

Many hugs for you. As one poster said, getting medication is not the only way to seek treatment. For the health of you and the precious little new life, please seek some help. Husbands don't always see the extent of how we feel, or the depth of depression, so be proactive in getting help for yourself in spite of whether or not he is on board. This is about you. :grouphug:

[texasmama]

Please call your OB-GYN and tell him/her about how you are feeling. Please take good care of yourself and your baby. Gentle hugs!

Yes, dear.  Do this.  (((hugs)))

 

You can do some research on Zoloft.  It is quite well-studied during pregnancy and nursing.  I am not saying that you need it now, but doing some research now will equip you with information if your doctor should bring up this possibility.  All SSRI's are not the same, and Zoloft is unique in being so well-studied in this population.

[Tiramisu]

This sounds crazy but I had a friend with depression who was advised by a neurological chiropractor to do a word search for five minutes or so a few times a day and take six short walks a day. She was dealing with a child's death and did get therapy and meds, but these little things helped too. I tried them myself during a tough time I was going through and I believe they helped me as well. Perhaps it was just having a focus and a feeling of accomplishing something. It's not a substitute for other types of help, therapy or meds, but it might be something to do until you can get a chance to talk to someone.

 

I agree with CrimsonWife that the connection reported between AS and AD is likely due to an underlying biochemical imbalance.  

 

I'm sorry. I hope you have someone IRL to give you a hug and some support.  :grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

[Rachel]

(((((Hugs))))))

[Gisel_le]

I have no advice. Just want you to know you aren't alone. {{HUGS}}

[VeritasMama]

Praying for you! Call your doctor, get some exercise, pick any task around the house to focus on and then complete it. Remind yourself that this too shall pass, and talk to a friend IRL if you can.

 

I hope this passes sooner rather than later for you.

[kubiac]

Omega-3s are good for baby's brain development and have been shown to have a protective effect against depression. 

 

Nordic Naturals fish oil, walnuts, sardines, leafy greens, omega-enriched eggs would all be great additions to your diet, if your doctor approves, of course.

 

{{HUG}}

[skeeterbug]

Here's a list of support resources by country and by state for the US.

 

http://www.postpartumprogress.com/postpartum-depression-support-organizations-in-the-us-canada-uk-south-africa-australia-new-zealand

 

Here's a hotline for postpartum.  I know you aren't postpartum, but they'll be able to help.

 

http://www.postpartum.net/

 

The hardest part is making the phone call, and then following through.

 

If you are in Australia, here's the link to PANDA.  I used them and the experience was good, I highly recommend them.

 

http://www.panda.org.au/

 

 

[linders]

I'm so sorry. Can you enlist DH/a relative/a friend to give you some respite for much needed rest or a quiet walk? I went through a bout of depression, and a combination of sun and quiet time was important.

[lmrich]

oh sweetie, call the doctor. It takes a lot of strength to ask for help.

[mommymilkies]

:grouphug:

 

Sometimes the meds are the best choice.  I think studies show that there is the most risk that last month of pregnancy?  Either way, I'd go to a doctor ASAP about Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, or what medications are actually safest.  You might also want to get your Vitamin D, ferritin & iron (NOT just RBCs), and B12 levels checked. Get a magnesium supplement like Natural Calm, plenty of sunshine and fresh air, and hang in there. 

[Twigs]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

[Rosie_0801]

I don't know if this could help you: http://www.purepotentialcoaching.com.au

[skeeterbug]

I just want to share a bit of my story in the hopes that you might be encouraged (or anyone else who comes across this).

 

I have experienced post natal depression several times.  With this last pregnancy I was so afraid of it happening again that I was in tears when I was discussing it with a midwife early in my pregnancy.  She gave me a referral to PANDA.  (PANDA is an Australian resource: Post and Antenatal Depression Association.) I was feeling good, so I called and made an appointment for much later so that we could meet before the baby was born and discuss coping strategies.  I've never actually seen a counselor for depression before, but like I said, I was feeling good so it was easy to call and book an appointment.

 

Then the depression hit.  Hard.  I knew I should call and reschedule that appointment for sooner.  But I didn't, because when you are in the midst of it you find it nearly impossible to get help, to make that call.  So I suffered and when that day came I went to the appointment, because I knew I might not make it if I didn't.  She came and got me out of the waiting room and by the time we got into her office and I sat down in that chair I had dissolved into tears.  She listened, and she helped.  And it was so good to have that, to have someone I could tell all my deepest fears and emotions to.  Her job is to deal with depressed mums, so she's used to it, and she didn't blink when I told her I was afraid I'd hurt my baby.  Or all the other stuff I told her.  She's heard it before.  And she helped.  And talking that stuff out with her made it so I could get through the next couple of days.  And then I'd go back and see her the following week, and I could get through another couple of days.  I was off the charts for depression and mid-line for anxiety.  And she got it, totally got it.  Later I got to participate in a group with other mums, and it was so nice to be able to voice all those things in a safe place.

 

I was afraid of taking the medication too, and managed to get through the pregnancy without it.  I'm not sure that was the best decision.  I started it soon after the birth and I'm still on it (baby is 13 months now) because I've learned from experience that it takes my body awhile to settle down after a birth.

 

I heard on the radio over the weekend that 1 in 7 new mums in Australia is diagnosed with depression. And I think, if 1 in 7 are diagnosed, how many more are going undiagnosed?

 

I know it's hard to get help, but that's because you aren't thinking clearly.  That's why I linked some hotlines above, you can call and be anonymous and hopefully talking to someone will help.  Please get help, please make the call.  Don't spend your whole pregnancy like this.

 

(I hope I don't sound over-dramatic here.  The experience is still fresh for me, and I hate that anyone could be feeling that way.)

 

 

[chocolatechip]

How are you doing? Were you able to talk with your doctor? 

 

Continued prayers for you!  :grouphug: