DH/So involvement

[MusicMama]

I'm curious. What kind of involvement does your DH/SO have in your homeschool and how, if applicable, does it differ from their involvement when your kids went to public school?

[OneStepAtATime]

Virtually no involvement then or now...got interrupted so I will continue below.

 

He travels a LOT.  And he works long hours.  And he is not a teacher by nature and he is an introvert.  But he has supported my decision and tries to provide help with research upon occasion.  And certainly he has been supportive financially.

[Farrar]

My kids never went to PS.

 

Ds is involved.  He takes them places, he knows their friends.  He's around during the day so he'll often help a kid with something if I'm busy with the other one.  He likes to help with math sometimes.  Also, if he's up, and the kids have something they need to read, they like to go curl up in bed with him to read it during the day.  He comes to poetry teas sometimes.  He has taught a couple of one time classes for our co-op group.  When they finish compiling their portfolios, he's the one they get to show them off to usually.

 

But I choose all the materials, I plan our days, I do most of the heavy lifting.  He's just there to bounce ideas off of, to discuss the budget for big things like outside classes, to support me.  And he does - financially and emotionally.

 

I really dislike when people say that their dh is the "principal."  I saw SWB speak at the Richmond Conference this year and she called that out as being pretty absurd.  The person who is the homeschool parent makes the final calls.  They're the principal.  And that's how I feel too.  Dh is the financial backer of this enterprise and the parent.  He is involved like a parent.

[MusicMama]

Farrar, that's how my DH is involved. I try to tell him that being the financial backer and my cheerleader is very significant! I asked him to help DD find a project on DIY.org and help facilitate it, because he has mentioned wanting to be more involved in the past. He was overwhelmed at the suggestion (he has an incredibly busy work schedule coming up), and I said no biggie. Her schedule is great and I only suggested it because he had mentioned wanting something he could do. But he feels guilty about saying no. (And that's something we both are working on!)

 

He is an involved and loving father. Being homeschooled myself, I have no idea what PS dads/etc help with. But I figure my DH's involvement is on par with others. I'm hoping to provide him with examples to reassure him.

[MusicMama]

And yes, I hate the principal title given to dads!

[Spryte]

My kids never went to PS.

 

Ds is involved.  He takes them places, he knows their friends.  He's around during the day so he'll often help a kid with something if I'm busy with the other one.  He likes to help with math sometimes.  Also, if he's up, and the kids have something they need to read, they like to go curl up in bed with him to read it during the day.  He comes to poetry teas sometimes.  He has taught a couple of one time classes for our co-op group.  When they finish compiling their portfolios, he's the one they get to show them off to usually.

 

But I choose all the materials, I plan our days, I do most of the heavy lifting.  He's just there to bounce ideas off of, to discuss the budget for big things like outside classes, to support me.  And he does - financially and emotionally.

 

I really dislike when people say that their dh is the "principal."  I saw SWB speak at the Richmond Conference this year and she called that out as being pretty absurd.  The person who is the homeschool parent makes the final calls.  They're the principal.  And that's how I feel too.  Dh is the financial backer of this enterprise and the parent.  He is involved like a parent.

 

This, exactly.  

[Liza Q]

 Dh is the financial backer of this enterprise and the parent.  He is involved like a parent.

 

Exactly.

[Walking-Iris]

My Dh is involved as a parent. He is the main "breadwinner." He helps with typical parental and house tasks. He trusts me to make the education decisions as far as schedules, curriculum,etc. But we do talk about it. He's interested in what the kids are learning, but doesn't take on a teacher type role. He'll play, read, build, work on an experiment, play sports, do arts and crafts etc--- just in a Dad role, not as a home educator role. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[SoCalLynn]

My husband is incredibly busy with his FT job and his band, which affords me being able to stay home to homeschool. When he is home I don't want him bothered with school stuff and he isn't really interested in the day-to-day operation of it any way. When he's home I want us to spend time together doing fun stuff and hanging out and talking to each other. If I need advice or am having trouble then he's wonderful to talk to.

[Alice]

Dh and I both work part-time and stay home part-time. I'm home much more than him so I do most of the homeschooling. So far, his involvement has been primarily a kind of substitute teacher kind of role- I leave him lesson plans and he teaches or makes sure the work gets done on the days I work. He also is willing to listen to discussions about curriculum and plans. This year he'll be more involved in planning and teaching our oldest, we're doing a unit-study approach and we're going to alternate who plans and is the main teacher for each unit. 

 

I would say we look at homeschooling like everything else in our marriage. We are a team. We work together and we try not to duplicate the work. He trusts me to make good decisions and I know he's available to help with decision making or thinking things through. If he's home and the kids need to do their math, he's the man. We don't try and share the work equally because it's not practical but we both try and do what needs to be done. 

[Ellie]

I'm curious. What kind of involvement does your DH/SO have in your homeschool and how, if applicable, does it differ from their involvement when your kids went to public school?

 

Mr. Ellie works so that I can stay home. And the person who stays home with the children is of course the one who is most involved on daily stuff. Mr. Ellie happily went on field trips with us on his day off, and sometimes his vacations were long field trips. :-) I would not expect him to teach anything academic, or help make decisions on instructional materials or methods, other than being a sounding board for my ramblings.

[Kathryn]

Mr. Ellie works so that I can stay home. And the person who stays home with the children is of course the one who is most involved on daily stuff. Mr. Ellie happily went on field trips with us on his day off, and sometimes his vacations were long field trips. :-) I would not expect him to teach anything academic, or help make decisions on instructional materials or methods, other than being a sounding board for my ramblings.

This. And I'd add that on those days when DS and I are just at the end of our ropes with each other over math, he steps in and works with him when he gets home.

[mamajag]

My husband works in Africa half the year, so his involvement is limited based on that. I am blessed in that he is extremely supportive financially. If I see a book the kids might like or anything like that, he is fully behind it. He even builds me new bookshelves when I run out of room. The kids have Kindles/ipads so that has eased the needs for shelves quite a bit.

 

When I'm planning, he is the voice of reason. I love to bounce things off of him. My girls are easy to choose for...they think like me so if I like a curriculum there's a good chance they'll like it, too. My son's mind works the same way as DH's, so I will often show him samples of various math curricula and see what he thinks about them. His input is invaluable.

 

He likes to help out in math, and when he's home and the kids are having trouble grasping a concept, I'll often send them to his lap for another teacher's perspective. He also takes them for nature walks and such and has been teaching them about the garden.

 

He also calls mental health day when he sees we need it. He's great at coming up with family trips on short notice.

[Erin]

My husband adores his kids.  He likes to take them to work with him, get involved in their projects, teach them new skills, etc., but it's no different for home schooled kid than it is for public schooled.  I send him my weekly homeschool plans (much like I did as a classroom teacher to my principal lol) just so he knows what's going on.  But really, that's about it.

[SemiSweet]

My dh doesn't do much in the way of school either. He works full time and I stay at home, he fully supports homeschooling and is happy to be a sounding board. We've recently talked about him doing some science with the kids on the weekends, but we usually reserve our weekends for fun stuff.

[Arcadia]

The only dfference is my hubby would take annual leave for all the public school field trips my boy went to which is like five to six per year. He had help afterschool our kids in all subjects even when my boy was in B&M public school and just continue doing so after we pull them out to do online school.

[Farrar]

Farrar, that's how my DH is involved. I try to tell him that being the financial backer and my cheerleader is very significant! I asked him to help DD find a project on DIY.org and help facilitate it, because he has mentioned wanting to be more involved in the past. He was overwhelmed at the suggestion (he has an incredibly busy work schedule coming up), and I said no biggie. Her schedule is great and I only suggested it because he had mentioned wanting something he could do. But he feels guilty about saying no. (And that's something we both are working on!)

 

He is an involved and loving father. Being homeschooled myself, I have no idea what PS dads/etc help with. But I figure my DH's involvement is on par with others. I'm hoping to provide him with examples to reassure him.

 

I do know several families that split responsibilities.  Not usually 50-50, but 80-20 or something along those lines.  Usually the homeschool parent is working part time in those cases, but not always.  I think if it works and that can happen, it's awesome, but if it can't, then so what.  I just know that my dh gets frustrated when he has to plan things or figure out how to manage the kids.  On the other hand, when I say, hey, help ds do this math page because he's stuck and I need to help his brother, he's happy to do it.  It's like helping with homework.  And that's important!

[Reefgazer]

The bolded is the story in our house, with the added comment that DH will be handling the robotics for DS this coming year because that's what he enjoys.  DH earns the cash and I spend it on curriculum! Without Dh supporting us financially and otherwise, there would be no homeschool.

 

DH's involvement when the kids were in public school was about the same.  I supervised homework, unless I specifically told D he needed to take charge for an evening because I had something else pressing.

Virtually no involvement then or now...got interrupted so I will continue below.

 

He travels a LOT.  And he works long hours.  And he is not a teacher by nature and he is an introvert.  But he has supported my decision and tries to provide help with research upon occasion.  And certainly he has been supportive financially.

 

[happypamama]

I can kind of see the dad as principal role being applicable. In the public schools, part of the principal's role was to support the teachers, but the teachers were doing the day-to-day work. At my house, I'm the one doing the nitty-gritty, the bulk of the teaching and facilitating and so I make most of the decisions about materials, how-to, topics, expectations, etc. DH isn't doing that, so I don't expect or ask for his opinion about all of that most of the time. However, just as a teacher might bounce ideas off of her principal, or ask his advice on something, I do that with DH. Like a principal, DH has a vested interest in my students succeeding, but like the principal, he's a step removed from the emotions of the day-to-day and can be more objective than I can sometimes. And tbh, if I have a discipline issue, especially with the boys, taking that to DH shows the kids that one, it's not just Mom's crazy opinion, and two, if I'm bothering to involve DH (who is gone like 60 hours a week for work) in something during his limited free hours, it's a Big Deal. In that sense, he's like a principal. So I don't know; he's not really the principal, and he's not the primary teacher, but he's a cheerleader and support.

 

Aside from emotional support and idea-bouncing, DH supports us financially, although I set the budget and tell him what I need to spend. He trusts that I buy what I need and that I handle the homeschooling funds well, same as I handle the grocery funds and pay the electric bill and register the cars and all of that. He gladly stays with the kids so I can go to support group meetings and such. He does a lot of non-bookwork educational stuff with the kids -- taking them places, biking with them, practicing martial arts, reading to them, sharing his interests with them, showing them cool videos, etc. And he'll go over work with them some too, but I'm a little particular about that, as especially with ds1's Singapore math, DH isn't always familiar with the approach that the book uses, even though he's perfectly capable of doing the math himself. He does listen happily to the kids telling him what they did each day.

[skueppers]

My kids never went to public school.

 

My husband's involvement is:

 

* To listen to me ramble about plans and problems and to make suggestions if that seems helpful.

* To help our kids finish things they didn't get done during the school day because they were unfocused. This came up a fair bit with our son this year, where he'd fritter away his time during the school day and then needed to spend half an hour knuckling down with dad looking over his shoulder in the evening. Maybe twice a month.

* To occasionally help out via FaceTime from his office. Mostly this comes up when our daughter isn't up for listening to me explain a math concept, but will gladly let him do it. Perhaps four times a year.

* For a couple of years, he taught them piano, but they now have outside piano lessons.

* To oversee schoolwork on the rare days when I'm away for some reason. For example, he takes the day off from work so I can go to our twice-annual homeschool reviews without the kids, and he does school with them on those days based on the list of work I leave behind. Kind of like a substitute teacher! :)

* To go on some field trips with us.

 

I make all the curriculum decisions, do all the planning, teach almost all of the lessons, etc.

[Erin]

That tends to be how I see it too, happypamama...

 

 

Why do people think "principal" is a bad role for Dad?

 Is it because they think a principal is supposed to be a boss or something?   :confused:

[Doodlebug]

My DH plays bartender at night.

 

Okay, JK, a little. ;)

 

DH is my support and offers perspective. When I'm wrung out, he listens. He backs me up when he sees the behavior issues that derail school pop up on weekends/ evenings. I never understood the wisdom of, "Ill call your father." I'm now a believer.

 

DH shares the things he enjoys with DS, which is better than any extracurricular stuff I could plan or pay for. DS will get up early for the fun stuff his dad has him working on... They read episode 1 and followed the film at the same time, checking for inconsistencies and developing their go-to quotes. They did logic games and the Hour of Code (I am given much quiet time by Light Bot). DH taught the last 6 weeks of math because DS was wearing me down mentally and physically. According to DS, his dad was dry as rocks. DS is begging me to teach math this year. That's the beauty of team work, keeping the children guessing.

 

This was the most involved year for my DH. Partly because of DS being older and more interesting. Partly because DS is older and getting under my ever loving skin on a more frequent basis. If DHs work schedule were hopping, which was the case 2 years ago, he would be less fun-dad and more support man.

 

Stella

[Sunshine State Sue]

Just as ds turned 5, and we began hs'ing, dh quit his job to return to school to change careers.  The transition took 3.5 years.  In K, I taught math and ds taught reading.  Ds went to a science museum class and played soccer.  That was about the only year our school responsibilities were 50-50.  Dh continued to teach language arts.  I added science, history, foreign language. Around 5th grade, dh took over the hands-on portion of science, and I took over language arts.  He remained the hands-on science guy through 9th grade.  Ds was fully outsourced 10th-12th.  Dh provided childcare in the younger days as well, since I work part-time (from home).

 

A striking difference between us is that I like to research to death and dh does not.  He really doesn't even want to hear about all the various and sundry options.  When we started K, I had researched homeschooling for about 3 years.  I gave ds 3 options for reading.  He chose one and started the next day. 

 

I will say that though dh works full-time, his schedule is flexible and he is not interested in working overtime.  When he returned to work, he had M/T off.  If he worked long hours or traveled for work, I'm sure he would not have been nearly as involved. 

 

If your dh wants to be a bit more involved, maybe something like a Science in a Nutshell kit would work?  It's kind of fun and all the materials are provided.  TOPS and Exploration Education (though they are longer projects) are other ideas.  It really helped me to have dh do the hands-on projects.

[TheApprentice]

No real hands-on involvement, except for supplying the funds needed for curriculum, without questioning me (which can't go without a thank you to him). But now he works from home, which can be quite disruptive. I am going to have to move my youngest son upstairs to do his work, because he is the most easily distracted.

[basketcase]

So we call my DH the superintendent. (I'm the teacher and principal.) For the family business, I'm the unofficial chairman of the board. (DH is the president and CEO.) Seems like a fair trade.

[TechWife]

Like others, my husband provides the financial backing for our school work. Beginning in middle school, he became more involved, helping out with math and science as needed. In high school years, my son has had outside math teachers with dh tutoring as needed. I haven't had to do anything with those subjects on a high school level. He has tutored ds through web-design. He was also an FLL coach with me during middle school. This school year, which should be our last, dh will teach electronics and tutor if needed for ds' outside math & science classes. I'll teach personal finance and tutor English if needed. He will take CAD at the community college. 

 

[MiMi 4under3]

I really dislike when people say that their dh is the "principal."  I saw SWB speak at the Richmond Conference this year and she called that out as being pretty absurd.  The person who is the homeschool parent makes the final calls.  They're the principal.  When DH takes too much notice of our "breaks" or free days - I jokingly refer to him as the superintendant. 

 

Dh is the financial backer of this enterprise and the parent.  He is involved like a parent.  Ditto.

[Farrar]

Why do people think "principal" is a bad role for Dad?

 Is it because they think a principal is supposed to be a boss or something?   :confused:

 

Someone up thread said about the principal being the support for the teachers, which, I guess sometimes?  But I've taught in ps and my experience of the principal's jobs vis a vis the teachers were to get involved for the serious punishments when the teacher didn't have the authority, to discipline the teachers when we stepped out of line, to evaluate our performance, to dictate the policies for the school as a whole (including, obviously, the teachers and students), to oversee the implementation of curriculum, to be the vision person for the school.

 

I'm sorry, but dh does not do any of those things and nor should he.  I pick the curriculum.  I implement it how I see fit.  I get to have the vision for what school looks like (with input from him and the kids, but the vision thing really rests on me).  He does not get to judge my performance or write up my evaluations.  He does not get to discipline or sanction me.  He's not my boss and I see that metaphor as being demeaning.  I decide the policies for the "school" and I am perfectly capable of being the heavy for any school related discipline that comes up (obviously general parenting stuff is shared between us, but I'm not going to hand something off because it's above my pay grade like I did with the kid who assaulted someone in my class when I was teaching).  He's just not the principal in any way shape or form.  He's my husband and supports me in my job.  He's my kids' parent and supports us all in that way.  He's not the principal.

[sbgrace]

My husband is pleased we're homeschooling, is a good listener if I or the boys want to chat about something school related, and finances the whole thing with his salary. That's it, and neither of us feel badly about it. He trusts me to make the decisions, and I appreciate his support.

[EmilyGF]

His eyes glaze over every time I try to discuss anything with him! Sometimes I wish he would just have an opinion and help me make up my mind.

 

I did have him help me write a set of long term and big picture goals, but that is about all I can get him to do.

 

He just isn't interested in curriculum or teaching methods. He has a demanding job and travels a fair amount, but he is very active with the kids, taking them to museums, playing games with them in the evening, and doing things like playing ball with them. He also recognizes that we should use money on things we value, and education is one of those. He also was OK with me making private yard space a non-negotiable when we bought our house. I don't think that would have mattered to me if I didn't homeschool. (We live in a city.)

 

Emily

[City Mouse]

My DH had a difficult time in school starting with his first day of kindergarten when his teacher took the pencil out of his left hand and made him use his right hand. He also had undiagnosed LDs which made school even more difficult. He supports my decisions on schooling but will sometimes as me to explain why, but he is pretty hands off as far as actual helping with school work goes. He would help with homework as long as I give him a specific task. When we had kids in traditional public school, mostly he would ask "Did you finish your homework?". The kids would answer "yes" even when they had not. I don't think he has much confidence in his ability to help with school work.

 

He has been involved with the kids in other ways. He was the "cookie mom" for our Girl Scout troop for many years. He started our church's Cub Scout pack and was the cub master until we moved. He took Taekwondo with them.

[MusicMama]

My DH is a ps teacher, and has no desire to ever be a principal. He says NEVER,EVER,EVER.  He sees a principal's role as overseeing the entire school, managing programs, holding the vision for the whole school, being the public face, and the liaison with the county board. My DH says he's fine with being called the financial backer, investor, or Sugar Daddy.  Any of those work for him.  ;)

[FriedClams]

Financial support... Blind eye turner to amazon boxes and all other shipments... None for school related stuff (travels and works 2 jobs)... Super amazing dad.

[Above The Rowan]

We have an interesting dynamic here sometimes because my partner is not the biological parent of my kiddos. Nevertheless, he is 110% supportive of homeschooling. He listens to me talk about this or that curriculum that I am agonizing over, he happily funds things we need, he comes home and will make dinner or clean up or do laundry without the slightest annoyance. He's my shoulder when I'm feeling stressed or anxious or just plain ol' burnt out. He DEFINITELY defers to my judgment about what to teach them and when - that's all up to me, but he will give input and talk for hours about this or that if I happen to really need that from him. 

 

He's a great dad to the kids, and the most important job he does is to be our comic relief - he makes us laugh on those days when I'm about to chase down the yellow school bus, and he keeps my Type-A tendencies balanced with a heavy dose of calm. He's just plain awesome. I wouldn't be able to do this hs thing without him, that's for sure. 

[MrsRobinson]

Homeschooling from the beginning here and my DH is very involved. I will flag chapters in education books for him to read and he will. I will show him curriculum I'm considering and ask for his thoughts. He was the one that showed me an article and said, "what about Latin?", which was our first introduction to classical education. He is amazing with financial support. I always worry that I'm spending to much and he is always the one to say, "Whatever we need, this is for their education." He has even done side work on top of his already busy schedule to help out the homeschool funds.

 

I finally admitted I hate science (gasp! I know, terrible, right?!) and couldn't get excited about any programs I saw. He happily volunteered to do science on Saturdays because its his favorite subject. (we'll see. I'd like to hold of on that til science is harder and keep his Saturdays free for now.) He also comes with us on field trips that land on the weekend and has taken off work 2 times to go with us on weekday field trips. In the evenings, he will quiz dd about whatever's been left up on the white board and he takes turns with me on bedtime read alouds. I do a book and when its done, he does one (of his choosing from the library, usually really good literature but every now and then he throws in a silly one that drives me out of the room! haha, the kids love it!)

[AimeeM]

He's my muscle, when need be ("Are you listening to your mother?"), and overall my biggest supporter. He listens (most of the time) to me gripe about curriculum choices, yells me down when I change my mind too often ("Don't second guess yourself again, Aimee", "No! You already decided on doing x, y, z - you aren't changing it again") - which may sound barbaric, unless you knew what a world class mind-changer I tend to be, lol!

 

His biggest contribution to our homeschool is simply that he is supportive. Completely and totally supportive of me and of our homeschool in general. He sincerely believes that we can do this and do this well, and that I'm wonderful (lol), which is something I definitely need at this stage in my life.

[G5052]

Flexibility and collaboration are important.  I always cringe a bit when a mom with a more patriarchal husband tells me that she has no say over curriculum and that the husband does all of the picking and planning.  That may work, but more often than not it seems to cause problems because plans are sometimes made at the last minute or without taking all of the important factors into consideration.  The reality is that different people have different strengths and focus in these issues.  A friend of mine was a good example this way years ago when I was trying to work it out.  She said to drop any ideas of how I thought it should be and work it out with my own husband until we both were comfortable.

 

In our home, DH considers me to be the homeschooling expert he delegates to.  I'm also a professional educator outside of homeschooling; he is not. He wants to see the test scores and hear about our plans for each year once I have them worked out, but other than a major crossroad or problem, he expects me to implement and deal with the day-to-day.

[dirty ethel rackham]

My kids never went to school so I can't compare there.  My husband earns an income, smiles and nods when I talk curriculum and attends a couple of end of the year events where the kids show their stuff.  He sometimes steps in to provide some support in math or science when I am at the end of my rope with a teen who is butting heads with me.  Other than that, he just leaves me to it. 

 

ETA:   I guess I can be flippant since I have been homeschooling a long time.  In the beginning, he went with me to a parents meeting to learn about it.  He was on board immediately.  Early one, he ran interference with relatives and listened when I was having a tough time with unsupportive family.  He has always been quick to whip up a meal, do laundry or a household chore when I was just spent by midafternoon.  He has helped me build in some structure when I needed it (getting up before the kids to exercise, setting aside time to plan each week.)  He trusts the decisions I make because he knows that I am the one constantly doing the research to see what is out there. 

[raptor_dad]

Someone up thread said about the principal being the support for the teachers, which, I guess sometimes?  But I've taught in ps and my experience of the principal's jobs vis a vis the teachers were to get involved for the serious punishments when the teacher didn't have the authority, to discipline the teachers when we stepped out of line, to evaluate our performance, to dictate the policies for the school as a whole (including, obviously, the teachers and students), to oversee the implementation of curriculum, to be the vision person for the school.

 

 

For a public school, I think the bolded issue is key. The vision or culture of the school can drive all the outcomes. Discipline and expectations for students and staff are important.

 

For homeschools, I think the same thing applies. Both parents need to model academic engagement and send clear messages about the importance of learning. This isn't a rigid, role based thing. We mostly unschool. I am the stay at home parent and DW is much less involved, but both of us are quite curious and academically involved.

 

I don't think having one parent be merely a manager or financial backer is going to cut it. Both parents need to be engaged. This doesn't have to be time prohibitive. If you read Lewelma's posts, her DS is a busy executive sort who still manages to read and discuss history with the boys. My DW is a busy academic MD, who still can discuss science and philosophy with the boys. If your SO isn't academically inclined, fixing cars, building furniture, hunting, or fishing might work. However both parents need to show an interest in something and encourage the kids to learn. A family culture that values learning requires both parents to be engaged.

[AimeeM]

For a public school, I think the bolded issue is key. The vision or culture of the school can drive all the outcomes. Discipline and expectations for students and staff are important.

 

For homeschools, I think the same thing applies. Both parents need to model academic engagement and send clear messages about the importance of learning. This isn't a rigid, role based thing. We mostly unschool. I am the stay at home parent and DW is much less involved, but both of us are quite curious and academically involved.

 

I don't think having one parent be merely a manager or financial backer is going to cut it. Both parents need to be engaged. This doesn't have to be time prohibitive. If you read Lewelma's posts, her DS is a busy executive sort who still manages to read and discuss history with the boys. My DW is a busy academic MD, who still can discuss science and philosophy with the boys. If your SO isn't academically inclined, fixing cars, building furniture, hunting, or fishing might work. However both parents need to show an interest in something and encourage the kids to learn. A family culture that values learning requires both parents to be engaged.

 

I think you're taking out of context what has been said (relating to dad being the financial backer or "manager"). I am quite sure that most of the dads do things (like you mentioned - fishing, reading aloud bedtime stories, etc). Many of us more traditionally scholastic (not unschoolers, IOW) do not naturally group all things family life related into our academic day, so when we're asked how our spouse contributes to our homeschool, we reply that they do so by funding it, etc. I do not consider the dinner table debates, random math help, or bedtime stories to be part of our school day (neither does my husband consider it such) - it's parenting, and yes, we separate the two frequently.

[Myeightkiddies]

None.  There's no involvement at all including financially.  If they have an upper level Math question that I cannot easily along with them figure out, they may ask him.  He isn't the best at explaining it as he shows them.  It's always been this way, and it is fine.  It's not his thing, and he doesn't particularly have a talent for teaching.

[raptor_dad]

I think you're taking out of context what has been said (relating to dad being the financial backer or "manager"). I am quite sure that most of the dads do things (like you mentioned - fishing, reading aloud bedtime stories, etc). Many of us more traditionally scholastic (not unschoolers, IOW) do not naturally group all things family life related into our academic day, so when we're asked how our spouse contributes to our homeschool, we reply that they do so by funding it, etc. I do not consider the dinner table debates, random math help, or bedtime stories to be part of our school day (neither does my husband consider it such) - it's parenting, and yes, we separate the two frequently.

Perhaps. However, I read many threads here where dad is the primary disciplinarian. I also read many threads where DH is actively second guessing the HSing parent and limiting financial or emotional support. I am not suggesting this is typical or even common. I am merely observing that it is important to have both parents actively engaged in building a supportive academic climate. This is less an issue of time or money and more an issue of family culture.

[speedmom4]

My dh is extremely supportive of homeschooling but doesn't have time to be involved regularly. He does help when the kids have projects and need his technological expertise or his creativity. But the day to day activities and schoolwork fall on me. We've been doing it this way for 14 years.

 

Elise in NC

[rocassie]

My Dh is involved as a parent. He is the main "breadwinner." He helps with typical parental and house tasks. He trusts me to make the education decisions as far as schedules, curriculum,etc. But we do talk about it. He's interested in what the kids are learning, but doesn't take on a teacher type role. He'll play, read, build, work on an experiment, play sports, do arts and crafts etc--- just in a Dad role, not as a home educator role. 

 

This is our household too.  I imagine if our children went to PS, I would still be doing the majority of school related things.  DH would probably only go to parent-teacher conferences although only if we had a babysitter for the youngers, and some homework help.

[Mom-ninja.]

He listens to me vent and complain. He pretends to listen and nods periodically when I obsess discuss curricula options. He tells the kids to straighten up and listen to me when I tell him they are out of control.

[JennyD]

 

I never know quite how to answer this question.  Basically, we only call educational activities School if I do them, preferably during traditional school hours.   So, say, math done at 9am with Mom is School.  Math done at 7pm with Dad is Doing Some Math with Dad.    Reading practice with Mom on the couch at 1pm is School.  Reading practice with Dad at 7:30 is Reading with Dad.  You get the idea.  DH does tons of educational activities with the kids, but they don't count as School if I'm not involved :)

 

I will echo others, though, and say that as the years go by I really value my DH's support.  In the total absence of any sort of outside validation, the fact that he, at least, truly believes that I am doing an amazing thing for our children can go a long way some days.  

 

 

 

[Carrie12345]

One of my kids went to school and is back in school.

Dh asks them all general questions about what they're up to and gives them all the same lecture/conversation when they're slacking.

I try to include him when making difficult decisions (like shaking up our entire science sequence or paying top dollar for revised editions of whatever) but it's a lot like him asking me for opinions on his job.  I might be able to give a few thoughts here and there, but he knows his job better than I do and I know homeschooling better than he does.

 

We tried having him drive an astronomy unit, but his work schedule is so unpredictable that it fell by the wayside.  It just doesn't work for us.

[chelsmm]

My dh works long hours.  He usually leaves in the morning just as we are getting up and isn't home until the kids are long asleep.  He financially backs their schooling.  His long hours allow me to work just 12 hours a week at night, so I can be with the kids otherwise.  He doesn't really talk to them about school, as far as I know.  I pick the materials and do the teaching.  I decided we would home school.  They did a go to school - dd for two years and ds for one, and his involvement was the same.  He's really only around on the weekends, and we don't generally do school on the weekends.

[Eyesoflyte]

Mr. Ellie works so that I can stay home. And the person who stays home with the children is of course the one who is most involved on daily stuff. Mr. Ellie happily went on field trips with us on his day off, and sometimes his vacations were long field trips. :-) I would not expect him to teach anything academic, or help make decisions on instructional materials or methods, other than being a sounding board for my ramblings.

So true.

[thebacabunch]

My DH is our provider.  He is my HS cheerleader.  He lifts me up and tells my I am doing a great job!  He brags about me and what I am doing for the kids.  He also researches the subjects we are studying and sometimes recommends a book or documentary.  He watches endless documentaries with us in the evenings and sacrifices his vacation time going to museums and historical places of interest.