Bummed by 5th grade basketball. . .is this what "early sports" has come to?

[Alicia64]

So, I signed my boys up for 5th grade basketball yesterday. They're ten. The team is casual; it's not supposed to be ultra-competitive.

 

We get there and they want to check out the boys skills so they can divide the teams up evenly. Oh, my goodness: I was startled at how well some of the 5th grade boys could play.

 

I mean. . . they could dribble like nobody's business and pass the ball between their legs, behind their back etc. I was stunned.

 

My boys are brand new -- and at ten they're already majorly behind. :(

 

Now, my boys are really tall so that gives them some advantage, but not much if they're left in the dust by these other kids.

 

I didn't start playing basketball until I was 11 or 12 -- and I ended up really good. But I didn't start "late." We all started around 11 or 12.

 

It turns out that you have to start your kids really early in sports even if you don't want to -- just so they can play on teams when they're 9 or 10.

 

Bleh.

 

Alley

[KungFuPanda]

I predict your boys will catch up quickly :-)

[Starr]

My son only lasted one season in fun basketball when he was 9. No one even throws the ball to the kids who are just beginning. I had a mother whom I like very much tell me that its okay to try things out in first grade or maybe second but by third you have to really know how to play. My dd couldn't skip until she was 8.

[shawthorne44]

Yes, I live in Texas, and a friend told me that her kids are locked out of football at 8 because they'd never played before. 

 

[skimomma]

Sadly, this is the new normal.  My dd was 8yo when she wanted to try soccer.  The program coordinator looked like I had two heads when I tried to sign her up.  And this was a low-key community rec program.  They seemed to have never dealt with an 8yo beginner.  They put her on a "team" with 4yos.  Needless to say that she ended up hating it and is unwilling to give the sport a second chance.  

[NorthwestMom]

Yes, we see that around here too.  :sad:

[Χά�ων]

Yep. Sad isn't it?

 

I put DS in gymnastics fun classes until he started skating seriously. Even then he was viewed as old to start skating by some because he didn't start at 2.  :confused1:  I have refused to allow him to specialize but it turns out kids are pushed to specialize in one sport and play a second sport so "they do not get burned out". That includes year round private lessons in primary sport, training and conditioning privately etc etc etc. It is disgusting.

 

I looked at basketball but was unable to find a secular recreational program that wasn't an hour away. He did baseball through the YMCA, but after this summer he is too old and will either stop playing or have to move to a competitive team.  :glare:  I am dismayed. DS has a degenerative autoimmune disease, ultra competitive sports are not in his future. 

[Tenaj]

If this program doesn't work out, I would scout around for a different program.  Maybe a summer day camp or even just practice with the parents for a few months to learn some basics.

 

My kids have found a small private school that welcomes homeschoolers to participate in their sports programs.  In fact, the high school basketball team is about half homeschoolers this year.  We've been there for about five years now and there have been several kids (one of my own included) who started out as 7th graders with no experience (my own ds) and are now on the varsity team.  We've also seen several kids come in as freshman with absolutely no basketball experience who have ended up starting as jrs. and srs.  It really depends on the coach's attitude and that will set the attitude of the other team members.  

 

We've quit doing formal basketball teams with my youngers because it just doesn't fit into the schedule, but we almost always send them to a local day camp for basketball in the summer which helps.  I also think that we, as parents in general, sometimes underestimate the value of just family time spent playing in the yard.  I learned all the rules for sports from my dad as a youngster from playing basketball, baseball, soccer, even football, in the front yard.  I'm trying to remind myself of the value of that type of play before a kid starts playing on formal sports teams. 

 

You also have to remember that I've seen time after time that the kids who start playing sports so early end up quitting by the time they are in jr. high or highschool because they are tired of the sport.  

[kewb]

Yes, that is what a lot of the rec leagues have become.  My ds played little league when he was 5/6/7.  Then he decided to swim.  At 10 he wanted to try baseball again and he couldn't.  He was too far behind.  He tried basketball around 8 and he was already behind in that, too.   Fortunately, he loves swimming.

 

[Χά�ων]

Yes, I live in Texas, and a friend told me that her kids are locked out of football at 8 because they'd never played before. 

I am not in Texas, but live outside a small town in the rural Midwest. There have been several attempts to recruit DS for football since he was 8 because of his size. They see a 3rd grader the same size as many middle schoolers and they pounce. I refuse to let DS play football, I may reconsider when he is in high school depending on his health, but for now, no. 

 

It is probably different for a child who is closer to average size. 

[OneStepAtATime]

My son was in a "fun" softball/t-ball league at 4 1/2 and we did it just to get to know neighborhood kids better, let the parents hang out and visit, give the kids a taste of team sports in a fun, non-pressuring kind of way.  They got to play together on the play ground, get exposed to a little baseball, play a few fun games just for the experience, etc.  Our own group was pretty laid back and my son enjoyed the practices and the first couple of games.  However, we found that the vast majority of the parents on the other teams and some of the parents on our team were deeply concerned that the program wasn't vigorous enough and were genuinely fighting for more hours to practice and additional games at night so the kids could really get good at the sport.  They were terrified that if they didn't drill, drill, drill, they would be failures and not make the cut by 8, when teams "get serious".  UGH!! Seriously?  They are FOUR YEAR OLDS!!!  And at 8 they are just starting to really get coordinated in many instances!  Talk about killing a love of sports.  And like others have said, if a child expresses interest in a sport when they are a little older and more developmentally mature, they are behind the curve because they haven't been at it since the womb.  This is wrong on so many levels, including physiologically and emotionally....

[Word Nerd]

We live in a basketball town, and that's pretty much how it is here. If you haven't already played and developed your skills in elementary school on rec league teams, you probably won't get much playing time if you join the team in junior high. I don't think there are any players on DD's team that started playing at 12; they all have several years of experience. Back in the day when I started playing basketball in junior high, almost no one on the team had played competitively before.

[Dory]

My brother runs basketball camps. Don't worry about your boys, there are lots of boys that grow up playing b-ball lots either because they have basketball families or because their parents push them. At 10 the boys will catch up plenty quick if they have any natural sports abilities at all. If the coach is a good coach he'll help them pick up the skills they need and if they enjoy it they'll be practicing their dribbling and playing around with each other at home. My son hasn't started playing b-ball yet. This summer will be his first. We do play at home though so he's comfortable with the ball.

[klmama]

I wouldn't worry too much about it.  Last year my youngest played basketball for the first time.  Only two kids on the team had played before, even in PE class - the rest were completely clueless.  They got thoroughly trounced their first game, but seeing what was involved in playing a real game brought out their competitive spirit.  They all worked harder at practice and played much better during their second game, and by the third game they were competitive.   It was a great season.

[linders]

Same problem here. DS13 (then 10) tried basketball. I knew we were in trouble at the first practice, where the coach (who had worked with the same kids for years) started out by calling named plays that involved specific passing patterns. DS was lost. The coach and DH tried to work with him, but he was so far behind, and the other boys were just awful. Never did basketball again.

 

So here is my recommendation - try an individual sport (swim, tennis). DS moved on from basketball to swimming. Again, way behind those who swam early, but because his performance didn't affect anyone else's, he got a great deal more support and friendship. All that mattered was how hard he tried and how well he listened to the coach. And - amazingly - he took to it and made state as a 12 year old. Now the kids who were lightyears ahead are his "gang" and they all cheer each other on.

[redsquirrel]

They will catch up quickly.

 

And I am pretty old (almost 50) and I played basketball on a school team in 4th grade. It was my first basketball team and I distinctly remember many of the girls were already very good players. I am really short and had never played before so that was the end of basketball for me, lol. I don't think this is anything new. I was certainly on a soccer team and gymnastics etc in second and third grade. That was back in the 1970s. My brother was playing t-ball in pre-school and peewee hockey in elementary years and he is 40.

 

If they have older siblings who taught them or a family interest they learn a lot at a young age. Then add in school recess as practice time and elementary kids can pick up a lot of skills. I see some killer soccer games among the third graders at the local elementary school during recess. My friend's kids are really good at soccer and they learned from their big brother. They were going to his games (he was a middle schooler) since they were in kindergarten. Some of these kids have been hanging out at the sidelines since they were babies.

 

But, at that age they can catch up quickly if given a chance.

[poppy]

I would drill them at home to help them catch up. Basketball is one of the easiest sports to catch up on because you can work on skills quickly, cheaply, just about any time. They'll be OK.

[saraha]

If the program is an Upward league, the coaches are usually really good about getting boys playing time, even if they are not as skilled as the other players.   My dd started at upward at 9 and she couldn't even dribble the ball, the coaches made sure everyone handled the ball etc during games.

[alisoncooks]

Interesting.  We live in a small town and have been playing soccer with the Y since age 3 and basketball since 5.

Honestly, that sounds "fanatic sports mom" but it's a super-relaxed/fun program here, no midweek practices; basically 2 months of fun Saturdays and then we're done. :p  Everyone gets equal playing time, the focus is on sportsmanship, etc, with some skill work thrown in.

 

With basketball (our season just started back up) there are usually some children who are more experienced but I don't see any of the competitiveness and craziness that is mentioned.  And my kids don't care either way b/c they're just happy to be playing with other REAL KIDS! :D :D

[GSOchristie]

My son doesn't want to play on a team...because he's just like that.  My dh just works with him at home on both soccer and basketball, he is much better than the other three seven year olds  we know who have been playing on an organized basketball team since they were four.  I think it's just like homeschooling, you can do a lot more in a lot less time when you are one on one :).  It also helps that we have two high school neighbors who let Asher "play" with them and have shown him how to do a few cooler things.  Just have your dh work on the skills and play some informal games with a small group of friends, I'm sure they'll catch up in no time.  

[Brilliant]

I wonder how much of what you saw was because of previous competitive playing/drilling, and how much was just natural talent.  Some kids can pick up a ball and immediately know what to do with it.  Me and my kids...not so much. :)   Which is why I like running as a sport; at least I can put one foot in front of the other.

[mamaraby]

My ds wanted to pay basketball this year and last, but he's had very little practice/exposure and we felt it would be difficult for him to catch up even with the YMCA team. The issue seemed less apparent with soccer simply because there's always room for a kid on the field who has relatively little idea as to what they're doing. Ds's first season he really was "behind" his teammates, but he caught up fairly quickly. This past fall he was still "behind" a bit, but he had a fantastic coach and really made huge strides.

 

So, if the coach is good then it's probably worth it to stick around and give them a chance to pick it up. :0)

[Aelwydd]

Yes, I live in Texas, and a friend told me that her kids are locked out of football at 8 because they'd never played before.

And thank stars for that, because I never want my ds to play football, especially in Texas. :P

[Χά�ων]

 

I mean. . . they could dribble like nobody's business and pass the ball between their legs, behind their back etc. I was stunned.

 

I do want to address this. When I was in 4th grade our city started the youth rec league. When some of the boys learned about it they started practicing all sorts of tricks. They were obsessed and spent hours every day on it. They didn't have a clue how to play, but man did they look good. 

[Saddlemomma]

Thankfully we had the exact opposite experience when DD decided to try soccer last fall.  We went through the rec center.  DD had never played soccer before.  When she arrived at the field, there were about 80 girls there.  Some of these girls had been playing soccer and were really good. They began with some warm-up and basic soccer exercises.  Then they lined the girls up and counted from 1 to 10 over and over, ending with 8 teams.

 

The idea was to learn how to play soccer by jumping right in and playing games against each others' teams. However, some had never played at all like my DD.  The more experienced players were very encouraging and helped out the beginners.  In addition, the coaches would thoroughly explain things, stop play to explain a concept if it was obvious some of the girls were lost, and instruct girls who were not on the field playing.  It was all very low key and without drama.  DD had a fantastic time and now wants to pursue soccer.

 

I think if your boys really like basketball, they will catch on quickly and amaze you and themselves with their progress.

[poppy]

My son doesn't want to play on a team...because he's just like that. My dh just works with him at home on both soccer and basketball, he is much better than the other three seven year olds we know who have been playing on an organized basketball team since they were four. I think it's just like homeschooling, you can do a lot more in a lot less time when you are one on one :). It also helps that we have two high school neighbors who let Asher "play" with them and have shown him how to do a few cooler things. Just have your dh work on the skills and play some informal games with a small group of friends, I'm sure they'll catch up in no time.

I don't know if it's possible to be better at a team sport than all the other kids if you have never played on a team. You can be much better at skills -but what about plays and passing and dodging around opponents and conditioning drill and being in sync and knowing the intricacies of a position?

 

This is the reason I think op's kids will catch up just fine. The best soloist isn't necessarily a good choir member.

[ChocolateReignRemix]

So, I signed my boys up for 5th grade basketball yesterday. They're ten. The team is casual; it's not supposed to be ultra-competitive.

 

We get there and they want to check out the boys skills so they can divide the teams up evenly. Oh, my goodness: I was startled at how well some of the 5th grade boys could play.

 

I mean. . . they could dribble like nobody's business and pass the ball between their legs, behind their back etc. I was stunned.

 

My boys are brand new -- and at ten they're already majorly behind. :(

 

Now, my boys are really tall so that gives them some advantage, but not much if they're left in the dust by these other kids.

 

I didn't start playing basketball until I was 11 or 12 -- and I ended up really good. But I didn't start "late." We all started around 11 or 12.

 

It turns out that you have to start your kids really early in sports even if you don't want to -- just so they can play on teams when they're 9 or 10.

 

Bleh.

 

Alley

 

If it is a casual league you are fine.  Some kids do start early but (and this statement always manages to bother some) the impact of playing and developing skills at the younger ages often levels out dramatically during puberty, especially for boys.  As with anything, those who spend more time on skills will be farther ahead initially, but as bodies change so does what is required to be successful.

To put this in perspective, DH coached a 6th grade boys travel basketball team 6 years ago.  Those boys are now seniors at the same high school.  Of his top 5 in 6th grade, only one is a starter now.  A couple dropped the sport, and a boy cut in 6th and 7th grade now has several D1 scholarship offers.

Your sons are behind a little, but the learning curve at that age is steep and if they want to put some time in and get serious they will catch up quickly over the next 3 years.

 

[Farrar]

I think yes, it's what it's come to.  It really bothers me as well.  I think we're extremely lucky to live somewhere with some very casual leagues.  My boys play soccer on a league that is very much "for fun" and some kids are honestly not so great or enter newish to the game at 8 or 9.  But I feel like that's because we live in a city with many different options.  And there are definitely other sports that don't have those opportunities.

 

If basketball doesn't work out, look for other opportunities.  Sports that are less popular or more individual or more regional may have different opportunities and entry levels.  I have come to believe we should really push for sports that are mildly competitive but mostly for fun for our kids.  I really think 90% or more of the kids out there don't need or want the level of commitment and competition that is involved in sports these days.  And a large number of those kids are being driven out as a result.  It's really sad.  With childhood obesity as it is, you'd think there would be more organizations and movements to make sports more accessible to everyone and have different tiers of commitments and competition, but I don't feel like I'm seeing that.

[Only me]

I see this a lot. My son has played baseball since he was 3 but we couldn't afford a travel team until two years ago. It seemed like it was too late when he didn't make it. He was also small for his age so between that and the politics he didn't make the freshman team last year even though he is very good. Ironically he made a high level showcase travel team soon after high school tryouts. Most on his team are also on a high School team. His high school just wouldn't look at him since he never played travel ball and was small. Ironically he just went through a huge growth spurt and is now 5-10 but he refuses to try out for the high school team.

 

On the other hand my 18 year old dd never played hockey before. She had health problems and major leg surgery at 15 so we thought it was too late for her to start a new sport. Last year at 17 she was ok'd to start sports. She learned how to play hockey, played on a high school team, is now playing for a women's team, scored her first hat trick two weeks ago and is hoping to play for a low level college team. I don't think it is too late for your son. My dd gave me hope.

[Belacqua]

I wonder how much of what you saw was because of previous competitive playing/drilling, and how much was just natural talent.  Some kids can pick up a ball and immediately know what to do with it.  Me and my kids...not so much. :)   Which is why I like running as a sport; at least I can put one foot in front of the other.

 

Yep. We got involved with YMCA cross-country, which was fantastic for our...not headed for any athletic scholarships kid. :) I don't doubt that competitive and efficient running does involve all manner of skills and techniques, but it was also great for a bunch of kids to trot around the park a few times a week. There were some truly excellent runners on these teams, but most of the kids just ran around, stopped to pet a few dogs, and enjoyed the goldfish crackers at the finish line.

[Mommy22alyns]

Yeah, that's pretty much how it is now.  I know with gymnastics, it's hard to find a beginner class for a kid over 10 or so.  Usually if they aren't going competitive, by 10 they're on to something else (probably cheer).  I didn't start Rebecca at 3 for any competitive edge though, the thought never crossed my mind.  I thought she'd like it since she was  so active.  Kind of a happy accident.  I usually don't watch Sylvia in dance class, but even at 8, most classes at her old studio were more advanced and not for beginners.

 

Upward leagues would be best for older beginners, IMO, but some of those kids even start early too.  We did Upward soccer for a while.

 

I do want to say, though, that some of these kids are the ones who are passionate about the sport.  Yes, there are crazy parents everywhere, but  some kids really do latch on to something early and have a driving passion for it.  Rebecca being competitive is all her, not my grandiose ideas.

[mom2scouts]

You might want to try an Upward team.  My son is not very competitive, but he gets as much playing time as everybody else.  He had an awesome coach last year who wanted every kid on the team to get at least one basket, and near the end of the season, when my son hadn't gotten a single basket yet, the coach set up the plays so that my son would get more chances to shoot and it worked!  They have been great about working with every player no matter how skilled.  You might also look into an i9 team as I've heard they are also very much about making kids sports fun.

 

Sadly, my dd is a gymnast and, at age 7, there is already the pressure that she will be told old to start competition if she doesn't get the skills she needs very soon.

[Catwoman]

Where we live, many of the kids have private coaches, and a huge number go to professionally-run camps for their particular sports during the summer and school breaks.

 

I think it's kind of crazy, particularly since several of the kids we know are only doing all that stuff because their parents insist on it.

 

I mean, seriously, it should be for fun. Almost none of these kids are ever going to go pro, and very few will even get any scholarship money out of it, so why all the crazy competitiveness?

[Arcadia]

Another reason is that basketball is what the nearby public school kids do for PE when its raining.  The gym/multipurpose hall in the elementary schools have a full sized basketball court. My older was taught basketball during PE since kindergarten. Football is the go to sport for PE on fine weather days for the schools.

Sports is also hyper competitive here.  Kids go for the sport practice for the same sport 3 times a week on average. Even boys recreational gym are getting harder to find as it tend to be for 8 and under.

[SunnyDays]

Unfortunately it's pretty common now. When DS was in 1st and 2nd grade at PS, he and his buddies were all pretty much on similar levels, obviously some were better because of natural talent, playing with older siblings, etc.

 

By 3rd grade when he came home, it started to shift, and now in 5th, they have trouble getting enough boys to fill the rec leagues, and most of his former school buddies are on competitive tournament teams or elite travel teams. Basketball and soccer seem to be the worst of this.

 

If he does go back at some point and want to play on a team for one of the larger area high schools, he will be at a disadvantage, even though he's done basketball every year in some fashion.

[texasmama]

My dh coaches my two boys in a JV basketball league for homeschooled kids.  He has kidson his team spanning in age 9-15 and expertise/experience levels from none/never to 8 years.  Some people (including kids) are naturally gifted athletes, but most are not.  My boys are not, but they have both played since kindy in Upward leagues so they do have experience.  They also have a strong desire to play the sport and to improve their game.  My dh would take your boys on his team.  They may not be first string, but they would learn a lot.  This is a competitive league, and they are playing to win.  However, most players get some playing time in every game.  (There are 14 kids on the team - too many! - so this affects the lesser skilled players' time on the court during games.)  With basketball, if a kid has the desire and any sort of average ability, he/she can learn to play.  At some point, it becomes muscle memory, and even average-ish kids get it down.  Basketball is a somewhat complex sport so there is a lot to know about the game.  It helps to watch some pro or college bball on TV.

 

Just wanted to put in our experience and let the OP know that there are leagues which exist for kids of any experience/skill level.  My dh (6'6" tall) did not play basketball until his junior year in high school, and he is not at all gifted athletically.  However, he had a desire to learn, a competitive spirit, and some height, so he was able to learn (in late high school and college) to be an okay player, and he enjoys playing church league ball still at the age of 45.  Not everyone is Michael Jordan, and the teams need hard workers to play all positions.  My 13 year old had significant delays in fine and gross motor skills and was not a very good player until about 5th grade, when something clicked.  He started in kindy playing in the Upward league so it took some time.  Most kids don't need that much time to develop some skills.  Your kids are not too old to learn so I hope you can find a league that works for them.