What not to put in a Christmas letter

[cottonmama]

Any tips before I write ours?  (And please don't say not to send them.  We're sending them anyway, lol.)

[KRG]

Don't talk about how much money you made in stock options or how much of a raise you or your spouse rec'd.
I don't care who you voted for or why
Most folks aren't going to care if your 2 year old can multiply
Not interesting if you talk about new vehicle purchases

Yes, these have all been in letters we've rec'd.

I think hit the high-notes of your year, make it fun to read and it will be fine :)

[MinivanMom]

Personal financial information

Personal medical information

Personal information about friends or extended family

Information or stories about your children that are negative or potentially embarrassing

Your children's IQ scores, test scores, or grades

Comparisons between your children

Comparisons (positive or negative) to others

Vanity complaints

Outright bragging

Requests for money

 

*When in doubt, have an honest friend proofread it for you and give you feedback before you send them out.*

[Word Nerd]

My favorite Christmas letters reflect the writer's personality and sense of humor.

[PrairieSong]

I don't like the braggy Christmas letters. One relative of ours always writes several paragraphs about herself and each of their two children, detailing their accomplishments and sometimes including a vivid account of her medical issues. Her poor husband gets TWO SENTENCES and it is the same every year. I feel sorry for him! She and the children are wonderful and accomplished and he leads a drab, dull life by comparison.

 

Another letter from parents of triplets mentioned all three of them, but one poor girl was struggling in school and that was included. She just did not measure up to the other two.

 

So, you can have fun with it, but whatever you do DON'T BRAG. Include funny or touching details. Or make it mostly photos with a few descriptive sentences. I enjoy reading about the funny mishaps, cute things the kids said or did, that kind of thing. It doesn't have to be boring or braggy.

[LucyStoner]

Here are some don'ts we have received:

 

*A detailed list with costs of their remodel.  

*A minute by minute detailing of the medical crisis during the birth of the newest baby which nearly resulted in death.  With pictures of mom while she is in crisis/bleeding out.  Who the frack was taking those pictures?  Why are they in my mail box?  Do I even remember who you are?  Do I WANT to remember who you are?!

*A long list of information about one child that leaves nothing said about his two sisters.  That was strange.  

 

If you wouldn't stand up and say it at a dinner party, don't put it in what is essentially a form letter.  

[PrairieSong]

Here are some don'ts we have received:

 

*A minute by minute detailing of the medical crisis during the birth of the newest baby which nearly resulted in death. With pictures of mom while she is in crisis/bleeding out. Who the frack was taking those pictures? Why are they in my mail box? Do I even remember who you are?

Ohmygosh!!! Seriously????

[LucyStoner]

Ohmygosh!!! Seriously????

 

S.e.r.i.o.u.s.l.y.  

 

Not everything is a Kodak moment.  

[Alicia64]

My completely self absorbed dad wanted to yak on and on about their pricey kitchen remodel. To my mom's credit she nixed the entire letter because she couldn't get him to bend.

 

I think a lot depends on who the letters go to. One of our relatives sends letters full of details and I often think, "Seriously?" It's info. for her close relatives and friends -- not me. Seems a little inappropriate. It's the amazing amount of detail that seems a little "off."

 

But, again, to the right group and it's fine ie. her own daughter, her mom, close friends who she only talks to occasionally.

 

Alley

[Kareni]

Do include some humor if at all possible.

 

As others have stated, don't belabor the accomplishments of only one child.

 

Don't make the letter longer than two pages, and don't mention more than a few people by name if the recipient isn't likely to know them.

 

And, yes, do send your letter.  I'd far rather get a photocopied letter than a card with only a signature. 

 

Regards,

Kareni

[bettyandbob]

I usually wrote about each kid and the activities they are into this year. If we took a trip that gets mentioned.

 

This year some things are not going well for one child. So, I won't be writing. I decided to fill up one page with pictures. Dd dancing, dd competing in a swim meet, younger ds at sp olym , older ds and younger ds exploring a ship in Baltimore. Anyway, everyone will be included and I won't be putting into words some less positive things.

 

12 years ago I didn't write one at all. That was noticed by friends and some extended relatives. However, it was a terrible year. I honestly came up with only one small positive event to mention. I worked on the letter for days and gave up.

 

I like letters. I look forward to a letter catching me up on a family's adventures. I don't like bragging. We got one last that was not a letter ,but pictures. The pictures were of the family on 5 vacations. Knowing the locations the cheapest trip was probably 10K, others were 15-20K. I knew they had that kind of disposable income I didn't need to see it in pictures though.

[gardenmom5]

S.e.r.i.o.u.s.l.y.  

 

Not everything is a Kodak moment.  

my bil used to have his camera with him everywhere.  he's calmed down.  but not before getting a picture of sil's face as the nurse hands over the baby telling her it's a boy.  her expression was priceless as she was calling out "but I don't have a name for a boy!!!"   

[shanvan]

Don't talk about your spouse's bunions or hemmorhoids.  Read about these one year.  What was my uncle thinking?

[FaithManor]

Some that we have received and would prefer not to get again:

 

Complaining that your step kids are more financially successful than your biological children.

 

Describing reactions to your breasted implants.

 

Detailing the decision to get a vasectomy.

 

Shaming your child into getting better grades by including a copy of his most recent report card.

 

Blow by blow accounts of your surgical procedure with a list of medications you now take including the

dosages.

 

Family picture done in such a way as to create the illusion that everyone is nude in the pic.

 

Proselytizing: Leave religious comments to something very generalized and non polarizing.

 

Politics:

 

And do NOT tell us about how much you hate your ex and hope bad things happens to her in the new year.

[Heather in Neverland]

It's interesting that once everyone became connected through FB, my friends all stopped writing Christmas letters. I suppose there wasn't anything left to tell after they had updated all year on FB.

[trulycrabby]

Topics I generally don't want to read about in Christmas letters:

 

Uncle's fifth time in rehab...

 

The grain elevator you've installed in your backyard (doomsday prepping)

 

That nasty brown recluse bite; we've got the internet if we want to see pictures :ack2:

 

anything with the words "jejunostomy" or "love triangle in it...

 

detailed descriptions of your fantastic home renovation, maid service, new sailboat, Tesla, etc...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Kari C in SC]

I usually wrote about each kid and the activities they are into this year. If we took a trip that gets mentioned.

 

This year some things are not going well for one child. So, I won't be writing. I decided to fill up one page with pictures. Dd dancing, dd competing in a swim meet, younger ds at sp olym , older ds and younger ds exploring a ship in Baltimore. Anyway, everyone will be included and I won't be putting into words some less positive things.

 

12 years ago I didn't write one at all. That was noticed by friends and some extended relatives. However, it was a terrible year. I honestly came up with only one small positive event to mention. I worked on the letter for days and gave up.

 

I like letters. I look forward to a letter catching me up on a family's adventures. I don't like bragging. We got one last that was not a letter ,but pictures. The pictures were of the family on 5 vacations. Knowing the locations the cheapest trip was probably 10K, others were 15-20K. I knew they had that kind of disposable income I didn't need to see it in pictures though.

You know you can actually write about things that aren't going well. The key is finding the silver lining in it. I have been writing letters for 24 years and am told quite often how much people look forward to the letter. I have written the good, the bad and the ugly. Whatever is real and true and part of my heart. I don't dwell on ugly details, but I didn't sugarcoat a layoff, having a house that would not sell, a difficult teen, my sister in law dying of even my son dying. One of my favorite letters was looking back to the hard year when my son was 13. It a was a rough year to say good things about him, but I somehow pulled off keeping it real.

 

I don't like generic letters. I don't want to just hear that your kids are in soccer, awana and scouts. I would love to hear that little Billy loves his bright green socks that come with his soccer outfit and wears them every single day. I would love to hear that on Awana night we eat McDs because it is Susie's favorite treat and frees up our crazy schedule, or that Annie chose to work on a pet badge because she is obsessed with having a pot bellied pig as a pet. I love real and messy and the things that memories are made of.

[Lisbeth]

Meh...I don't write one because too many people are snarky critics.

[KrissiK]

I enjoy Christmas letters. As other people have posted, the best letters are humorous, anecdotal, reflecting of the writer's personality. I don't like ones with just lists: Jonny is in first grade now, we went to the Bahamas, I  had surgery. Boring.

[ThatHomeschoolDad]

I don't like the ones that never change....Bobby is still on the swim team at the pool.  Sally and Bob are still working for the same company, even in the same cubicles!  Please.  I appreciate a smooth year without drama, but without interest?

[bettyandbob]

You know you can actually write about things that aren't going well. The key is finding the silver lining in it. I have been writing letters for 24 years and am told quite often how much people look forward to the letter. I have written the good, the bad and the ugly. Whatever is real and true and part of my heart. I don't dwell on ugly details, but I didn't sugarcoat a layoff, having a house that would not sell, a difficult teen, my sister in law dying of even my son dying. One of my favorite letters was looking back to the hard year when my son was 13. It a was a rough year to say good things about him, but I somehow pulled off keeping it real.

 

I don't like generic letters. I don't want to just hear that your kids are in soccer, awana and scouts. I would love to hear that little Billy loves his bright green socks that come with his soccer outfit and wears them every single day. I would love to hear that on Awana night we eat McDs because it is Susie's favorite treat and frees up our crazy schedule, or that Annie chose to work on a pet badge because she is obsessed with having a pot bellied pig as a pet. I love real and messy and the things that memories are made of.

Oh I certainly include things that are not so great, but that I had younger with a large hole in his heart and multiple doc visits. It was also thought he might have significant hearing problems. Dd had seizures and lots doctor appointments and hospital visits. Oldest was in OT twice a week and we were looking at other therapies. Honestly, it was a terrible year and finding something to cheer about and be grateful for amounted to "we are alive and not homeless" . That was one of the last times we took an actual vacation, due to medical expenses and the trip was an all out disaster, so I couldn't talk about that as a positive. Really, the depths of how bad the year was made writing prohibitive, there was no silver lining. We've had years where I mentioned difficulties and silver linings. That year there was nothing. Honestly when I realized the letter wasn't going to happen after reworking it multiple times it was very depressing because I couldn't brush aside how bad things were while staring at it on paper.

[Word Nerd]

My uncle is a wonderful letter writer--his Christmas letters are smart, funny, and great fun to read. I figured that he would take a break the year my aunt died unexpectedly of health problems that turned critical very quickly, but he sent his letter as usual. It had a different tone than usual and made me cry, but it was a lovely tribute to her and I was glad he wrote it. I hope he writes a book someday.

[Anne in CA]

My BIL writes sarcastic, funny ones that send everyone to the mailbox waiting in anticipation, but he is a really smart, funny person IRL. I would make sure that you are comfortable with putting your REAL self out there, because, as people are pointing out here, it will come out and unless you are discrete and humorous IRL, it might not be pretty.

[Brilliant]

Topics I generally don't want to read about in Christmas letters:

 

...

The grain elevator you've installed in your backyard (doomsday prepping)

 

...

 

I'd actually find that fascinating/funny. :)  It would sure be one of the most, um, unique letters I've received.

[laundrycrisis]

Anything that throws any member of your household or family "under the bus"....no put-downs in a Christmas letter please !

[MrsMommy]

As long as you don't detail the stomach virus that your entire family had, I'm good with your letter. I mean, seriously, who actually thinks people want to know about that?!?

[Tiffnkids]

Don't write about yourself in third person.

 

I have a relative who does this. It drives me insane.

 

"Susie is still happily employed at BlahBlah company. She had the opportunity to travel to an EXOTIC location this year and had a wonderful time. She enjoys eating pickles in her spare time."

 

Just use I . . . we all know you wrote the letter!

[Susan in TN]

I just wanted to mention that I love love love getting Christmas letters - even emailed ones which I print off. I keep all of them every year - bragging, touching, weird, funny, strange, thoughtful...they all go in the box. I have now a 20+ year collection of histories from friends and relatives and hopefully will be able to add to it for the next 50 years.

[Susan in TN]

I'd actually find that fascinating/funny. :) It would sure be one of the most, um, unique letters I've received.

At least we'd know whose back yard to run to in the zombie apocalypse.

[mamajudy]

One of my friends is a folk-singer/songwriter. Every year she sends a card with the past year's news written in poetry. One of my  nephews has a daughter (now a journalism major) who is a gifted writer. When she got to about seventh grade, she began writing the family newsletters. It was a great homeschool assignment and fun for us to read. 

[Hikin' Mama]

I love getting Christmas letters and fortunately have never received one that had weird content. Some of you have gotten some real doozies! I also love Christmas cards that are a family picture!

[Mandylubug]

I've never heard of Christmas letters?! Seems odd. Is this a regional thing?

[Incognito]

I had a relative once send photocopies of emergency preparedness lists (think what to put in your pantry in case of terrorist attack).  That was interesting.  I wasn't bothered by it, though.  It was SOO that relative and they were being thoughtful in their own way.

 

I've had years where I haven't written or sent because I couldn't find good things to say - I wrote drafts but they were dark and full of exestential crisis. 

 

I find that a cute picture or two of the kids is usually well-received.

 

I have really enjoyed ones where each person in the family writes their own bit. 

 

I find that my writing style tends to copy itself after whatever I am reading at the time I write it - so my advice would be to be aware of what you are reading. :) 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[momto10blessings]

If your daughter left her husband and children to come live at home with you, that is probably something that does not need to be included.

 

If your 15 year old son was caught dealing pot I would leave that one out too.

 

Just sayin'!

 

Ps- yes, they were from the same family. I dread opening that Christmas letter every year :)

[mom@shiloh]

We get a letter every year from a family who just barely fit into the "acquaintance" category.  My kids call them the Perfect family.  The first time one of my teen daughters read one, she thought it was satire.  Oh no, it's all true.  The perfect life with a perfect marriage, perfect kids and perfect expensive vacations all recorded in color pictures.  We started looking forward to the letter so that we could make fun of it.  However, in the last few letters, perfect first born son was sometimes not living up to his perfect parents perfect dreams for him. Now I just feel sorry for all of them.

 

On the flip side, I read a letter once mocking the typical letter.  They were glad that their son was out on parole, their daughter passed third grade on the third attempt -- that sort of thing.  So funny.  I'd love to be able to pull that one off.  

 

 

[Camelfeet]

Don't talk about your parrot the whole time.  Don't include many photos of your parent.  Don't mention your excitement at seeing me at the next national parrot convention when I don't even own a parrot.

[ThatHomeschoolDad]

I've seen the tagline about keeping Christ in Christmas pop up in some letters, and always think it's a smidgen over the top, as if the previous seven paragraphs were just a tease to get to the what-I-really-want-to-say.

[ElaineJ]

Don't talk about your parrot the whole time.  Don't include many photos of your parent.  Don't mention your excitement at seeing me at the next national parrot convention when I don't even own a parrot.

 

Ha! Is this from a real letter you have received?

Elaine

 

[G5052]

I mix in the good and bad without revealing anything embarrassing.

 

The year a family member nearly didn't survive a surgical infection and required months and months of doctor visits and rehab?  Yes, but only in a few sentences. I wanted people to know why we hadn't been in touch.

 

The year we moved and had a baby.  Yes.  Same as above.

 

Family problems? Never.

 

Jobs?  Briefly what we're doing. 

 

Kid achievements?  Only the really big ones, and not with much detail.  I also talk about their interests and activities in a low-key way.

 

Vacations?  Mentioned if unique, but not much detail.

 

If I'm motivated, I include a few pictures.  I probably will this year because we took a very unique, memorable vacation with family and historical connections.

 

The whole thing is never more than a page. 

 

We're not perfect, and are underachievers in some ways.  I don't like presenting ourselves different than we are.

 

And yes, we receive the "perfect family" ones every year.  I used to also receive one where each family member shared their faults and asked for prayer. One year the mom shared that she was lazy and didn't keep the house nice.   :closedeyes:

[Starr]

It's interesting that once everyone became connected through FB, my friends all stopped writing Christmas letters. I suppose there wasn't anything left to tell after they had updated all year on FB.

 

 

This made me laugh. :D

[Rebel Yell]

Some that we have received and would prefer not to get again:

 

Complaining that your step kids are more financially successful than your biological children.

 

Describing reactions to your breasted implants.

 

Detailing the decision to get a vasectomy.

 

Shaming your child into getting better grades by including a copy of his most recent report card.

 

Blow by blow accounts of your surgical procedure with a list of medications you now take including the

dosages.

 

Family picture done in such a way as to create the illusion that everyone is nude in the pic.

 

Proselytizing: Leave religious comments to something very generalized and non polarizing.

 

Politics:

 

And do NOT tell us about how much you hate your ex and hope bad things happens to her in the new year.

 

:huh: :confused1: :svengo:

[Laurie4b]

I think it's important to keep your audience in mind: what do they want to hear? What will make them laugh? What will help them feel connected? I think Christmas letters that are irritating tend to be constructed around "It's all about me/us--aren't you incredibly interested?" 

 

So leave out bragging, remodeling, new high item purchases, expensive vacations, etc.

 

Include family interests. For brevity, you can bullet point stuff for each child OR have each child write something about him/herself. That would be interesting to most people.

[PrairieSong]

And yes, we receive the "perfect family" ones every year. I used to also receive one where each family member shared their faults and asked for prayer. One year the mom shared that she was lazy and didn't keep the house nice. :closedeyes:

Well, that's a new twist. The Humble Christmas Letter.

[twoxcell]

I don't write Christmas letters. I guess I have never thought my life was interesting enough to bore anyone with. :lol: I didn't even send cards the last few years. I do always enjoy receiving Christmas cards but we rarely get actual letters.

[Audrey]

Any tips before I write ours?  (And please don't say not to send them.  We're sending them anyway, lol.)

 

 

I always find the best is to just write every single thing you think you want to say.  Then, go back through it and cross out every single thing that even vaguely references money, religion or politics.

 

You should end up with a nice, brief letter that most people will be interested to read.

[Belacqua]

I don't write Christmas letters. I guess I have never thought my life was interesting enough to bore anyone with. :lol: I didn't even send cards the last few years. I do always enjoy receiving Christmas cards but we rarely get actual letters.

 

Same here. Our lives are just not really letter-worthy. Same jobs, same pets, still homeschooling, same house, no new cars or new children. Pretty sure that would make one dull letter.

 

I did get one last year that stood out. An acquaintance pointed out that her daughter had started at Yale that fall (great!), but then went on to say she had also been accepted by Harvard, Princeton, Brown, Stanford, and Cornell. Why, it was practically a bidding war! Alrighty, then.