So a friend and I were talking about this...

[Truscifi]

How would I feel?  Like I was back at home in Alabama.  My dad never had his gun out when a guy came over, but he apparently did threaten to shoot off the left testicle of every guy I spent time with (even if they were just friends) if they hurt me.  And my mother confirmed he would do it.  I didn't know about this until a few years later.

 

It totally depends on the family culture and the culture of the area.

[bobbeym]

My dad did this once when I was in high school.  He'd actually taken my younger brothers to the range that day and was in the living room cleaning the guns when my boyfriend arrived.  I think he was a little more nervous than normal, but we all laughed about it later.

 

I wouldn't think anything unusual about it if my boys went to pick up a girl and her dad was cleaning his gun.  Of course, we'd probably already know the family well enough to know they weren't crazy or anything so it wouldn't be a big deal to us.

[unsinkable]

How would I feel? Like I was back at home in Alabama. My dad never had his gun out when a guy came over, but he apparently did threaten to shoot off the left testicle of every guy I spent time with (even if they were just friends) if they hurt me. And my mother confirmed he would do it. I didn't know about this until a few years later.

 

It totally depends on the family culture and the culture of the area.

Left testicle shot off, huh?

 

He would have gone to jail. How would that have helped your "hurt"?

[Excelsior! Academy]

My father was cleaning his gun when my dh came to pick me up for our first date. He(dh) kept coming back so it must not have bothered him too much. Keeping a gun clean is part of responsible gun ownership.

 

 

Nobody cleans loaded guns.  

 

 

 

 

I think you'd be surprised how many people you already spend time with have and/or carry guns - that doesn't make them scary.  

 

And anyone who does have and/or carry a gun will periodically need to clean it.  Sometimes outdoors, whether to avoid fumes from cleaning solvents or just because it's a nice day.  

 

There's nothing in the OP to indicate the dad was threatening in any way, and the presence of an unloaded gun is no different than any other tool.  Would everyone be saying "run away" if the dad was reorganizing his sawblades in the garage, or chef-dad was in the kitchen sharpening knives?  Granted, none of that is what you do when you know company is expected, so there's certainly a chance he was acting out that cliche/stunt, but until the boy or boy's parents get to know this dad a little better there's no reason to assume he's crazy or dangerous.

 

 

 

My son would sit down on the porch, discuss guns, and finagle an invite to go shooting.

 

I think much of this depends on where you live in this country.  I would be shocked if my own dd would even date a guy who'd be adverse to guns. 

 

I agree with all of the above.

 

Gun ownership is pretty common around here.  Nobody would think anything about it.  And, no, we are not in the middle of redneck country.  We are in suburbia.  Cleaning a gun is more likely to happen indoors or in the backyard or garage than the front porch, but I wouldn't automatically assume it was a gang member, nutter, or a threat.

[ChocolateReignRemix]

My DH, who is a police officer, and his fellow police officer friends used to joke about doing just that. I don't think any of them actually did it though.

My DH says a girl he dated had a dad who was a deputy sheriff who did this. DH got a chuckle out of it.

[Seasider]

That guy would have made a much better impact on the young man had he greeted him cordially and treated him with the kind of respect he'd hope to have reciprocated. That kind of show would make my guys want to avoid the dad. That's not what I want for my kids' boy/girlfriends! I want them to feel welcome and comfortable and to want to engage in a relationship with us parents.

 

I think the mister big stuff routine is apt to backfire. Either his dd and friend will find ways to avoid him, or if the young man decides the girl isn't worth the dad's antics, he might drop her. Either way is sure to put some distance in the relationship between father and daughter.

[SKL]

I'm surprised and disappointed at how many people don't "get" what the guy was doing.

 

This is something my very kind, intelligent, peaceful dad would do if his daughters were under 18 and dating.  It is intended to show that the dad cares enough about his daughter that he would not sit quietly if someone hurt her badly (think date rape).  It's symbolic, but sometimes people need the imagery to get the point.  It is no more a threat than having a lovely, well-trained German shepherd dog for a pet.

 

I assume nobody has a problem with the fact that dads aren't fans of date rape.  I assume these reactions are due to people receiving too many negative images/press and not enough positive images/press about traditional gun ownership and use.

[LucyStoner]

I'm surprised and disappointed at how many people don't "get" what the guy was doing.

 

 

 

Getting it and agreeing with it are two different things.  

[kwickimom]

How would you feel/react to your son showing up to pick up a girl for a date to find her father sitting on the porch cleaning a gun? Father was nice and polite, but laid out some ground rules for the date before they could leave.

Oh my word- a guy was cleaning his very own gun on his very own porch at the same exact time his daughters date arrived? GASP.

 

Seriously- I find it pretty funny. 

[Audrey]

How would you feel/react to your son showing up to pick up a girl for a date to find her father sitting on the porch cleaning a gun? Father was nice and polite, but laid out some ground rules for the date before they could leave.

 

 

The situation you describe is an old cliché that goes back many generations.  I would find it rather humourous and quite unoriginal of the father to craft up that bit of drama.  I would probably roll my eyes and tell my son that I hope his date was more socially skilled than her dad.

[SKL]

The last thing I'd do as the parent of the boy would be to call the gun cleaning father and read him the riot act.  Really?

 

"Honey, your boyfriend's mother called.  She said she didn't like the way I said hello to her son.  I guess she doesn't think much of his ability to take care of or speak for himself.  Of course if he can't take care of himself I assume she will be there to take care of any offspring he may have.  Just a little peek into the future of whoever marries him.  As for your friend, it seems he is afraid of adult men or gun owners or something."

[PhotoGal]

I think I would reevaluate what kind of neighborhood I was living in if something like this happened. I can't imagine thinking this was "funny" or "sweet." Wow!

[PhotoGal]

I'd guess the guy doesn't want his daughter dating wimps.

If knowing to stay away from people who show off their guns and use them to intimidate people makes someone a "wimp," then I am happy to be raising wimps!

[jhschool]

I am pro-gun and pro-gun ownership for law-abiding peaceful people.

 

But I think it's rude if the dad pulls it out just to have it, so the boy sees it.

 

If the dad is actually cleaning it, then it's not a problem.

 

So--what I would think would depend on whether the dad is doing it to intimidate

the boy or to clean his gun.

 

Unfortunately, there is no way to know.

 

Maybe look at the look on the dad's face?  If he is pleasant, then he is just cleaning

it, and the boy can pleasantly talk about shooting.  If he is unpleasant, the boy can 

think twice about being around that dad.

 

But...even if the dad is a crazy psycho jerk, if the boy loves the girl he should not run away!

 

 

[Melissa in Australia]

How would you feel/react to your son showing up to pick up a girl for a date to find her father sitting on the porch cleaning a gun? Father was nice and polite, but laid out some ground rules for the date before they could leave.

:lol:  :lol: :lol:  

[Melissa in Australia]

I agree with all of the above.

 

Gun ownership is pretty common around here.  Nobody would think anything about it.  And, no, we are not in the middle of redneck country.  We are in suburbia.  Cleaning a gun is more likely to happen indoors or in the backyard or garage than the front porch, but I wouldn't automatically assume it was a gang member, nutter, or a threat.

My teens clean their guns on the veranda. they always arrive back home just at tea time just as I am dishing up ( dinner, supper whatever you call it there). They are not going to clean them at the kitchen table :toetap05: so outside it is

[Melissa in Australia]

I'm surprised and disappointed at how many people don't "get" what the guy was doing.

 

This is something my very kind, intelligent, peaceful dad would do if his daughters were under 18 and dating.  It is intended to show that the dad cares enough about his daughter that he would not sit quietly if someone hurt her badly (think date rape).  It's symbolic, but sometimes people need the imagery to get the point.  It is no more a threat than having a lovely, well-trained German shepherd dog for a pet.

 

I assume nobody has a problem with the fact that dads aren't fans of date rape.  I assume these reactions are due to people receiving too many negative images/press and not enough positive images/press about traditional gun ownership and use.

I think everybody "got it"

[ChristyB in TN]

That I'd somehow accidentally stepped through a portal into a bad country song?

 

It's a pretty cliche joke. If it was a coincidence, it is funny. If the dad was trying to make a point, it's a lame and rather retrograde one.

Much more eloquently stated than I was going to. He thinks he is cute and is enjoying telling the guys a work he did this. Maybe not a guy with a gigantic IQ.

[Lizzie in Ma]

That was my Dad, he thought it was hilarious.  Me, not so much.

[Callie]

Let's be real.

 

This has nothing to do with "casting aspersions" onto gun owners as a group. It's about an adult who feels as though it is appropriate to intimidate his daughter's date. This particular situation involved a gun as a prop, but it could have just as easily been some other veiled physical threat, and I suspect that many people's reaction here would be the same.

I agree and my dh wears a gun in a holster about 90% of the time around our farm.  He would not remove the holster/gun for someone coming to pickup one of our dd's, but he definitely would not be cleaning the gun or pull it from the holster.  

 

Wearing or carrying a gun is normal here.  I cannot imagine it shocking any boy who came to our home.  The reason dh wears it around the farm is because we live in an area with LOTS of rattlesnakes and copperheads.

[JuanitaL]

I would tell my son to leave. He doesn't need to get involved with a girl whose dad threatens to kill him.

Me too. I would be pissed. Either - Why would dad let his precious go out with my son if super-dad doesn't know anything about him? Or, why does dad feel the need to threaten my son, if he does know him? And if dad feels the need to lay down the law, let my son know what he expects from him, then of course no one in that family should mind when I, likewise,  very explicitly tell precious daughter what I expect from her.

 

I would seriously be advising my boys to drive her through McDonalds and then straight back home. Why would dad even think this is necessary? Does she chronically bring home losers? Dad isn't capable of spending  a couple of minutes talking to the would-be date and using any kind of discernment?  

[Callie]

Sure if someone just happened to drop by unannounced then I don't think it would be a big deal at all, but to be cleaning a gun right out in the open when he knows a date is coming over seems staged to me. I have no problem in general with gun owners. ;)

Right.  Cleaning a gun is a normal activity here, but I'd not want dh doing it when we knew a boy was coming to pickup a dd.  

 

Now if it was a boy we knew really well or they had been dating a while no problem, but for a first date no just because of what it may imply.

[MyThreeSons]

How would you feel/react to your son showing up to pick up a girl for a date to find her father sitting on the porch cleaning a gun? Father was nice and polite, but laid out some ground rules for the date before they could leave.

When I lived in CA, I would have thought this was over the top, and I would have serious concerns.

 

However, now I live in SC, and I would assume it was just the Dad's way of saying "don't mess with my daughter". I sometimes think we are the only family here that doesn't have guns in the house.

 

When oldest ds first started dating, his girlfriend's Dad and three brothers all let him know that they were keeping an eye on things, and that he had better not ever hurt A in any way. He laughed as he told me about it.

[Kathryn]

We are gun owners. My husband has *joked* about doing this if he had daughters. However, he would never do it, and if anyone ever did that to one of our sons, I'd advise them to stay far away from that family. It's not a coincidence, it's a threat with a deadly weapon (it makes no difference that it wouldn't be loaded at the time as the threat is for later, the point is to let the boy know that you're "dangerous" to cross). And, no, it would make no difference if he was sharpening knives or saw blades. The implication is there that if you cross him or his daughter, he will physically harm you. Anyone who felt that that was an appropriate manner in which to begin a relationship is not someone I would want my children around. A caring, involved parent does not have to make threats to get the point across that he cares about his child and will protect her. Meeting her date and interacting with him in an interested, involved manner should be sufficient.

[DawnM]

My father has never owned a gun. He did hunt when it was still legal in Kenya back when I was a kid, but he used someone else's gun. My father is a very gentle, kind man, and would never have come across that way (gun totin' scary) to anyone I dated. However, he also had a lot of confidence that I was wise in choosing the boys/young men I dated. Character and reputation were very big for my father and he taught me that you can learn a lot about a young man by the friends he keeps and the way he treats people.

I also would not like it if a man did this with my son. We are not gun owners, nor do we know that much about them. I would prefer my son not fear any potential father in law but have a real relationship with him of respect.

[beaners]

The last thing I'd do as the parent of the boy would be to call the gun cleaning father and read him the riot act.  Really?

 

"Honey, your boyfriend's mother called.  She said she didn't like the way I said hello to her son.  I guess she doesn't think much of his ability to take care of or speak for himself.  Of course if he can't take care of himself I assume she will be there to take care of any offspring he may have.  Just a little peek into the future of whoever marries him.  As for your friend, it seems he is afraid of adult men or gun owners or something."

 

 

I am in general strongly opposed to parents stepping in.  In this case, I support it because of the inequality in the relationship and power between a young teen and the father of a girl he may date. The only person I can think of who would actually pull this stunt is a bully and a blowhard, and he would cut the crap if another adult called him on it.  

 

If a father wants to tell a young man that he needs to be respectful and careful with his daughter, that is great.  Doing so with a "prop" like a chainsaw or a baseball bat or a gun is unnecessary and a disrespectful way to treat someone you apparently trust your daughter with.

[Scarlett]

How would you feel/react to your son showing up to pick up a girl for a date to find her father sitting on the porch cleaning a gun? Father was nice and polite, but laid out some ground rules for the date before they could leave.

Was that country song by Rodney Atkins "cleaning this gun" playing in the back ground? I would think he was bringing a little humor to a serious situation.

[poppy]

I 'get' what he was doing. Everyone does.  It's a very old joke.

 

I would think he was a world-class jerk.  i would feel sorry for the daughter. 

 

I would not have ANY respect for a man that was using a firearm as a prop to threaten her daughter's friend.

[livetoread]

I don't think the "Daddy protects his little girl" schtick is cute or funny. My son would be confused and embarrassed if some dad did it to him. Does the dad really think my son is going to hurt his daughter unless he is subtly threatened? I think it's rude to the boy and disempowering to the girl.

 

The best way my dh can protect my daughter is giving her the confidence and assertiveness to protect herself. Better a date to think she would kick his butt if he tried to hurt her (and she would-she's a martial artist) than that she needed Daddy to do it for her after the fact. Better my daughter to think it too.

 

Not to mention that there can be some sort of ownership of the daughter's sexuality implied too. Don't touch my daughter, even if she wants you to, says this is between the guys here. She isn't capable of deciding what she wants to do, but don't worry. The men will work it out.

 

That said, I wouldn't advise my son to run away or dump the girl or anything unless he thought the guy really was "off". It's a common enough schtick that he'll encounter the concept, if not the gun, from many normal people!

[8circles]

What would the equivalent intimidation be towards teen girls wanting to date my son?  

 

It's totally cliche & I would thing that any father who actually did it is going for laughs or is seriously lacking social skills.  

 

Intimidation is not what I would choose to start a relationship with someone who would be entering into a potentially intimate (in all ways, not solely physical) relationship with my child.  How does that sound smart to anyone?

[Greta Lea]

I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have to tell either of my teen sons anything. They would never ask the girl out again.

 

Honestly, they would feel sorry for the girl. Once this story gets around, she'll even be loosing her guy friends.

 

My son's have 2 friends (a girl and a guy). They are all homeschooled and in the same youth group. They've ran in the same circles for YEARS. They've done loads of group activites over the years. A couple of years ago, the homeschool group they are both in was having a banquet (sorta like a prom). The guy asked the girl if she'd be his date...they've been friends for years and this was just a friend asking a friend to go. They were going to go as a pair BUT with a group. They wouldn't even be in the car alone. Much like all the other activities they'd done over the years with their homeschool friends and youth group.

 

She said yes, but then a week or so later she tells the guy her dad wants him to come over one evening before the banquet to have "a talk" with him.

 

The guy told her that he'd feel weird having that kind of talk with her dad since they are JUST friends. She said she agreed but her dad insisted. The guy told her that he'd rather just not go as a date and then just hang out (as usual) at the banquet. So, that's what they did.

 

Anyway, all the guys (and some of the girls too from what my son's shared with me) felt so sorry for her. Word has gotten around about this and all the guys have said that it's not worth that kind of nerve wracking experience just to "hang with a friend".

 

What is so odd is that they still hung out with a group all the time after the banquet. It was just odd. Her dad was making something a big relationship when it wasn't.

[xixstar]

I look at two possibilities:

1. dad was following through on the joke - that case, whatever, I'd shrug it off. I can't say my dh wouldn't do the same thing or that he would - can't really tell how much he is joking when he says that line. Have also know families where this is indeed played out, some don't even bother with the cleaning aspect and just sit with the shotgun.

 

2. the gun needed cleaning and it just turned out to be bad timing -- I can see this happening to me. I seem to have a knack for poor timing of necessary events and (expected or unexpected) company arriving.

 

Either way, not a big deal to me. In my mind, most dates would laugh it off knowing the joke as well unless they were from families that seem to have a culture of gun fear. But then I don't have experience with anyone thinking it was a serious 'threat' and anything more than a played out cliche.

[ktgrok]

Let me shed a different perspective on this.

 

Is it a veiled threat? Depends on what you mean by threat. But yes, it is meant to convey that if you hurt my daughter I do have the means to hurt you back. Now, all of you are saying this is rude and mean to presume your darling son would hurt the daughter. But the father has NO WAY of knowing if your son is a predator, rapist, abuser, etc. And no, talking to him, or knowing the family, will not make that clear. Just yesterday someone posted how a police officer and member of the church was molesting children at their church! People knew him, knew his family, and still didn't know he was sick in that way. So no, the father does NOT have a way to know this. And no, he probably would not ever ACTUALLY shoot the kid, as he doesn't want to go to jail. But it does put the doubt there. And that makes that girl, his daughter, just a little bit less of a target. If that boy IS a rapist, or abuser, he has just decided that there are better targets/outlets for his sickness than this girl. And that is the whole idea. It's called "layers of security" according to my security expert husband. It's all about making yourself less attractive a mark than the next person. Yes, it is over the top for the average boy, who should be just fine without such a warning. But for the boy that actually might hurt the daughter, it might be a way to convince him that there are better ways to spend his time.

 

At least, that is the thinking of my husband, who has said he will probably do exactly this. And who makes a living evaluating security risks. (I'll admit, he also loves a cliche, and that factors into it as well). This is a favorite song of his: http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/littlebigtown/welcometothefamily.html

 

 

Also, I will feel we did a good job raising our daughter if she, on the other hand, feels we are over the top. Because she knows martial arts, and is a crack shot with a gun herself :)

[Jenny in Florida]

It should come as no surprise to anyone who has ever read anything I've written here on this subject that I would be appalled by that scenario.

 

My son, who still likes to go outside and do mock battles with boffer weapons with his friends, strongly dislikes guns and would probably not be interested in pursuing that relationship.

[ktgrok]

This is still an entirely inappropriate way to handle this though.  That's like if my employer cleaned his gun while telling me I better not steal from the company.  I don't know of anyone who would consider that appropriate.  And even in the instance where someone hurts your family member you are not off the hook criminally if you injure or kill them.  We don't live in a country that allows that method of justice.

The reason people don't steal, often, is they are afraid they will be caught and punished. Yes, by the law. But the truth is, most rapists are NOT caught and punished, for whatever reason. The law is insufficient deterrent. An extra incentive works for me. I understand others don't agree.

 

Although a good alternative might be a first date at the firing range...she can show her abilities herself. (my first date with my hubby was at the firing range, but nto for that reason. I had never shot a gun and wanted to know how after seeing too many bad movies where the bad guy drops the gun and the girl doesn't know how to use it.)

[Jenny in Florida]

I'm surprised and disappointed at how many people don't "get" what the guy was doing.

No, no, I totally "get" it, which is why I would strongly encourage my son to look elsewhere for companionship.

 

Even assuming that I believe it is appropriate for an adult male who is otherwise a stranger to warn my son in advance of the potential consequences should my son choose to date rape a young woman, I do not approve of vigilante justice. And anyone who "welcomes" my son into his home with the preconception that my child is a danger to his child based on my child's gender is not someone I want involved in our lives.

[Jenny in Florida]

"As for your friend, it seems he is afraid of adult men or gun owners or something."

There is a world of difference between being disgusted by somoneone's behavior and being frightened by it.

[SKL]

I think this conversation is skewed by the "men are from mars, women are from venus" phenomenon.  Males talk and listen differently from females.  Between men, a wordless symbol may be the best way to get an important point across.  I think that if this conversation were being had by men (assuming they were not an anti-gun group to begin with), it would go differently.

 

And no, I don't think you can tell who is or isn't likely to commit date rape.  If it were that easy to tell, there would be no date rape because no girl would ever be alone with such a person in the first place.

[SKL]

Well, I agree that if the young man was incapable of understanding the sentiment behind the act because he was too ignorant or afraid of the culture the girl grew up in, or doesn't understand humor, then it probably isn't a good match.

[Jenny in Florida]

The reason people don't steal, often, is they are afraid they will be caught and punished.

Actually, that is not what anything I have read on the subject supports. Nor is it my view of humanity.

 

In general, good people don't do bad things that hurt other people because they know it is wrong to hurt other people. And people who are prepared to break laws and hurt other people simply because they want to do so generally do not believe they will be caught. Fear of punishment is usually just a stage children go through until they internalize appropriate behavior.

[Jenny in Florida]

I think this conversation is skewed by the "men are from mars, women are from venus" phenomenon.  Males talk and listen differently from females.  Between men, a wordless symbol may be the best way to get an important point across.  I think that if this conversation were being had by men (assuming they were not an anti-gun group to begin with), it would go differently.

That must depend on the kind of men you know.

 

My husband, for example, is not "anti gun" in general. However, he would not think this scenario is charming or funny or appropriate, and he, too, would encourage our son to walk away, quickly. In fact, I can't think of any adult male I know well who would be okay with it.

[Jenny in Florida]

Well, I agree that if the young man was incapable of understanding the sentiment behind the act because he was too ignorant or afraid of the culture the girl grew up in, or doesn't understand humor, then it probably isn't a good match.

Again (and for the last time), I'll say that I think my son would understand the message and the attempted "humor" quite well. And disapproval/disgust/disagreement is not the same thing as fear.

[SKL]

Again (and for the last time), I'll say that I think my son would understand the message and the attempted "humor" quite well. And disapproval/disgust/disagreement is not the same thing as fear.

 

If it generated disgust in your mind, then you do not understand it.

 

[SKL]

Men aren't from a different planet.  This is total bull.  No I don't think my husband would need wordless symbols to understand something.  He isn't a freaking moron.

 

My father isn't a freaking moron either, but I believe him when he tells me these things.  I also believe other men who agree with these things.  And I do not associate with cave men.

 

[JuanitaL]

Either way, not a big deal to me. In my mind, most dates would laugh it off knowing the joke as well unless they were from families that seem to have a culture of gun fear. But then I don't have experience with anyone thinking it was a serious 'threat' and anything more than a played out cliche.

No. No "culture of gun fear" here. More like disgust and contempt for passive-aggressive (or in somecases - i.e. "shoot your left testicle off", simply aggressive) threats; and maybe some confusion about jokes. I thought they were supposed to have a punch line.

[Jenny in Florida]

If it generated disgust in your mind, then you do not understand it.

I'm sorry, but that is simply not true. There are many, many things about the world and the people who live in/on it that I understand but still recognize as wrong or disgusting. The fact that I disagree with you doesn't make me wrong or lacking the ability to understand.

[Jenny in Florida]

No. No "culture of gun fear" here. More like disgust and contempt for passive-aggressive (or in somecases - i.e. "shoot your left testicle off", simply aggressive) threats; and maybe some confusion about jokes. I thought they were supposed to have a punch line.

You know, "contempt" is a good word, too, maybe even better for what I'm trying to convey than "disgust." Thank you.

[Ravin]

My dad staged a subtler version of this to intimidate my senior prom date. He stood with his arms crossed next to his glass-fronted gun cabinet and lectured my date on how he would hold him responsible if anything happened to me, including an auto accident even though I was the one driving.

 

Fortunately for me, my date was not intimidated to the point of not going. We did joke about it, but Johnny was a good guy who wouldn't have been anything but respectful anyway.

[JuanitaL]

How would I feel?  Like I was back at home in Alabama.  My dad never had his gun out when a guy came over, but he apparently did threaten to shoot off the left testicle of every guy I spent time with (even if they were just friends) if they hurt me.  And my mother confirmed he would do it.  I didn't know about this until a few years later.

 

It totally depends on the family culture and the culture of the area.

This leaves me wondering a couple of things:

Is your husband a saint who has never hurt you in anyway? (Because you don't indicate if your dad made the differentiation between physical hurt or hurt feelings, etc.)

Or, are you lucky to have the children you do because of your dad's attempt at providing your dh with an orchiectomy?

Or, your dad is biding his time and your dh has special Kevlar underwear?

Or?

[Truscifi]

Left testicle shot off, huh?

 

He would have gone to jail. How would that have helped your "hurt"?

 

It probably wouldn't have.  And he probably wouldn't have really done it. 

 

His goal was to discourage the boy if he was actually a predator.  I don't think it was necessary, of course.  But none of my dates or guy friends avoided me because of it, and I was certainly not the only girl in my school who had a dad who did something like this.  It was not unusual in our area, but then it was a big deal when kids were told they had to take their hunting rifles out of their pickups before they drove to the high school where I grew up.  A lot of people had guns.  Other places I have lived it would have been seen as very unusual and over the top.  That's why I said it depends on the culture of the area.