Here's something I didn't know about public school

[Aspasia]

One of my friends posted this on Facebook today:

 

"I ate lunch with [daughter] at school today. The kids at her school have to sit in the same seat every day and at the same table with the kids in their class. And the kicker: they're not allowed to talk. Is this normal? How do they do it at other elementary schools across the nation? I just remember lunch time being fun at school and it seems they are taking the fun out of it. I felt sad for [daughter] and her classmates today..."

 

Then more than 30 people responded, most of them to say that it's like that at their kid's school too! The most disturbing ones--yes, plural!--made reference to an actual traffic light. When it's green, the kids can talk. When it's yellow, it means they're getting a little noisy. When it's read, no more talking.

 

They have to raise their hand and be cleared to leave the cafeteria.

 

This is like prison! And these moms all thought so, too! But some of them observed that the kids didn't seem to mind, so it must not be too big of a deal.

 

And people are worried about MY kids' socialization!?!

 

Incidentally, that friend of mine did send me a private message indicating that she has been thinking very seriously of homeschooling.

[carriede]

That's the way it was done when I was in elementary school in the early 90's.

[KungFuPanda]

Must be a regional thing. The schools here don't do that and neither did any school I ever worked in or attended as a child.

[gingersmom]

I never heard of such a thing.

[Joker]

The schools here aren't like that. It's actually quite loud at the middle school during lunch times. We had the light thing when I was in school though and I graduated in the early 90s.

[Ghee]

Yup. Same thing here but no traffic light. We were told to turn the lights out when it got too loud and then announce silent lunch. We had a room of about 200 kids at any given time, so we were always told to out them on silent lunch due to noise levels. That is prek through 4. I think 5-8 had a few tables they could pick from (so your class had maybe 4 tables to pick from, but you couldn't sit with someone from another class) and fewer students at one time meant they didn't get put on silent lunch as often. High school is and always has been a free for all. Sit where you want and talk how you want. There are a lot of fights at the high school during lunch so it is VERY loud and rowdy.

[happymomofboys]

One of my friends posted this on Facebook today:

 

"I ate lunch with [daughter] at school today. The kids at her school have to sit in the same seat every day and at the same table with the kids in their class. And the kicker: they're not allowed to talk. Is this normal? How do they do it at other elementary schools across the nation? I just remember lunch time being fun at school and it seems they are taking the fun out of it. I felt sad for [daughter] and her classmates today..."

 

Then more than 30 people responded, most of them to say that it's like that at their kid's school too! The most disturbing ones--yes, plural!--made reference to an actual traffic light. When it's green, the kids can talk. When it's yellow, it means they're getting a little noisy. When it's read, no more talking.

 

They have to raise their hand and be cleared to leave the cafeteria.

 

This is like prison! And these moms all thought so, too! But some of them observed that the kids didn't seem to mind, so it must not be too big of a deal.

 

And people are worried about MY kids' socialization!?!

 

Incidentally, that friend of mine did send me a private message indicating that she has been thinking very seriously of homeschooling.

 

 

We had the traffic light when I was in elementary school in the mid to late 80's.

[kewb]

That is how it is done here. Not at all like when I went to school a few decades ago. As much as I disagree with the policy I kind of understand it. Lunch is brief and the kids need to eat. If they spend all of their time talking they don't eat. Heaven forbid they should have more then 20 minutes to eat lunch.

[Lisbeth]

Yep, private Catholic schools where I am had assigned seating and no talking at lunch as of a few years ago. It was terrible.

[zoobie]

Yep. My older DD was horrified when she heard that and when she found out that you had to get permission to use the restroom. One of my friend's kids' schools banned actual soap and water hand washing because it took too long, so the kids got a squirt of hand sanitizer. My DD said, "I just threw up in my mouth."

[Rhonda in TX]

We had the traffic light when I was in elementary school. This was in the 70's. It never bothered me. A cafeteria full of kids can get really loud.

 

Not being able to talk at all? That's horrible.

[Joshin]

We had the traffic light thing when I was in school back in the early 80s. It was usually on yellow -- we could talk quietly. The being excused thing doesn't seem odd either. For safety and order, I would rather the classes go out together. Plus, when I was in school, we went out as soon as we finished eating, so most kids spent less than 5 minutes wolfing down lunch for a longer recess. I have a lot of issues with public school, but I guess this isn't one of them :)

[laundrycrisis]

The socialization that kids supposedly get at school is such a myth. Our boys get waaaaay more social time through our regular weekly afternoon activities than they would get at school. I hate how kids are treated at school - HATE it. I think it is awful for them. And all this BS about self esteem in schools - they do self esteem programs, all the while teaching them that they are inferior little people who have to ask permission to go pee - and they can be denied that at any employee's whim - those are the rules, sorry ! But here, have some self esteem to go along with your aching full bladder, and don't ever forget how special you are !!!

[Kathryn]

When I was in elementary school, we would get punished for classroom misbehavior by having to sit boy-girl and not talk during lunch. But, that wasn't an every day occurrence. I've heard that it's like that every day at the school here now.

[Um_2_4]

Yep ,seating by class and traffic light in the midwest in early 80s in elementary. 6th grade and up was free seating/talking (with monitors).

[T'smom]

I would be surprised if that is the case where I live now. I'll have to ask some friends about it. When I was a kid we sat with our grade.....that was who was having lunch at the same time. We had the traffic light thing though, and it's not that bad. It was like a noise sensor that was triggered when the noise was too much. It would turn to yellow and if we quieted down, it would go back to green. If we didn't, it would go to red and everyone was supposed to be silent. It was only for a few minutes though. Obviously, kids should be allowed to talk and such.....but they do have to do something or the noise level would get out of control. And the seating thing might have a reason behind it. It may be because of bullying and needing to keep certain kids away from certain other kids.

[Veritaserum]

I grew up in Southern California. The "lunch room" was outside at the three elementary schools I attended, so being noisy wasn't a problem. We did have to get excused from the table by an adult who checked to see if we had eaten. Lunch was at least 30 minutes, so we had time to play after eating.

 

I went to a magnet school in 5th-12th and we ate outside there as well. At that school we just parked our butts on the grass or at a table and ate at our leisure until the bell rang. There was no playground equipment at that school, so running around on the grass was really the only alternative to talking and eating. On rainy days we ate in the classroom of a friendly teacher.

 

The described scene sounds very grim.

[In The Great White North]

Never heard of the traffic light thing, but then, we ate at our desks. No cafeteria til high school.

[NotSoObvious]

DD hated the noisy lunchroom. In fact, when people ask her what she likes about homeschooling, she says, "No more noisy lunchrooms!" She would love silent lunch! Ha!

[Ghee]

One of my friend's kids' schools banned actual soap and water hand washing because it took too long, so the kids got a squirt of hand sanitizer. My DD said, "I just threw up in my mouth."

 

 

Ours didn't ban it school wide, but some teachers did. As part of my job as an aid, I would sometimes have to sit with a class while the teacher went to a meeting or had an appt. once or twice, I had to take a class to lunch.

 

I remember dismissing a class by rows and telling them "Go to the restroom, wash your hands, and then come back to your seat". A little girl piped up and said "Ms So n So doesn't let us wash our hands (toilets were in the bathroom in the hall, but each classroom had its own sink to use). We have to use the GermX." Uh no. I replied "Well today you'll all wash your hands." Gross!!!!

[Alte Veste Academy]

You think that's bad? Let me make it worse for you. :lol:

 

One of the elementary schools I worked at in Texas had silent lunch--stone cold silent the whole time, no traffic light necessary. The children went in, ate, returned their trays or put away their lunch boxes, then rested their heads on the table. If they did this all completely quietly, perfectly, they were awarded by the lunch monitor with a single Skittle or M&M, which was placed on the table in front of them. They were not allowed to eat it right away, of course. They could only eat it at the end of lunch, if they were able to stay quiet until the end. If they spoke or wiggled too much or were in any other way showing signs of being a normal human child, the treat was removed.

 

So, honestly, I just don't give one big fat fluffy fig what anyone thinks of my kids' lack of socialization.

[magnificent_baby]

Definitely not the norm here in our large metro area. Honestly, don't think it's a bad idea at all. I had lunch with Ds not too long ago. He ate nearly nothing because he was too busy talking and telling jokes with his friends, who were doing much of the same. :001_huh: It was nice to see him having fun with them, but even with me sitting there gently reminding him to eat, he still didn't eat much. From a medical perspective (and as the occasional district nurse), diabetics HAVE to eat, since most get their insulin before lunch.

 

Please don't assume ALL schools do this, because they do not.

[MrsBasil]

We had a paper traffic light in the mid 80s. We had silent lunch if too many kids acted up. We were often told that lunch wasn't for socializing, it was for eating.

[briansmama]

This is seriously a depressing thread. Those poor kids!

[mom2scouts]

Yes, many of our local public schools are like that. A homeschool father and I were at the elementary school cafeteria just the other day and we were commenting on the big sign that said, "Lunch time is for eating". It went on to list rules that said children should eat and be quiet or they would lose the privilege of talking to friends and have a silent lunch. There was also a sign telling children they could choose their tablemates from their own class, but they had to sit with those children at that table for the rest of the year without any changes. Oh, and they have the "traffic light" too. Years ago, my engineering minded teen son later reported to me that he had recalibrated the traffic light so that the "poor little kids could actually talk to each other at lunch". I was conflicted between punishing him and praising him! I just can't figure when and where all this supposed "socialization" takes place.

 

Oh, and hand washing takes too much time. All the children are asked to bring hand sanitizer at the beginning of the year as part of their school supply list and they use that instead of soap and water.

[LeslieAnneLevine]

It was not like that when I was in school, but at one elementary school I attended there was a rule that the last one at the table had to wipe it down. We all wolfed down our lunches.

 

I did hear a story from a French homeschooler once that her child's lunchroom took the silent lunch idea to the extreme that the kids had to point and use head signals to indicate what they wanted put on their trays by the cafeteria ladies (not the ones who sing Eat Those Brussel Sprouts and Smile!)

[Mélie]

I volunteer at my son's school, and they have to sit in their desks for 20 minutes while they eat their lunch. Older kids are allowed to move to sit by their friends, but younger kids have to sit in their own desk. They're allowed to chat, and I've never seen any kids punished for being too loud. They then get 40 minutes to play, so I think it evens out.

[ocelotmom]

I don't believe we ever had a traffic light (80's/early 90s), but it sounds familiar, and I think I must have either read a book with that in it, gone to a camp that did that, or they implemented it at the new school that opened the year after I graduated elementary. That doesn't bother me so much. A "no talking at all" rule does.

 

Though if you're going to assign seating, maybe a "no talking" rule is better than not.

[magnificent_baby]

Yes, many of our local public schools are like that. A homeschool father and I were at the elementary school cafeteria just the other day and we were commenting on the big sign that said, "Lunch time is for eating". It went on to list rules that said children should eat and be quiet or they would lose the privilege of talking to friends and have a silent lunch. There was also a sign telling children they could choose their tablemates from their own class, but they had to sit with those children at that table for the rest of the year without any changes. Oh, and they have the "traffic light" too. Years ago, my engineering minded teen son later reported to me that he had recalibrated the traffic light so that the "poor little kids could actually talk to each other at lunch". I was conflicted between punishing him and praising him! I just can't figure when and where all this supposed "socialization" takes place.

 

Oh, and hand washing takes too much time. All the children are asked to bring hand sanitizer at the beginning of the year as part of their school supply list and they use that instead of soap and water.

 

 

What do you suggest then, to make sure the kids are eating lunch? It can get awfully loud in the lunch room. I assume when it's loud, not much eating is going on. I only have 3 kids, and when mine get out of control at dinner, we implement the no talking rule. Did you observe recess? I can guarantee plenty of socializing gets done during that time, not to mention other times.

 

Just like in adult life, in large group settings there are appropriate times for quiet and appropriate times for playing.

[Arcadia]

Here each class gets assigned tables but it is free seating at the assigned tables. Kids can talk all they want. It is very noisy during recess and lunch and most kids are too busy talking to eat.

[mom2scouts]

Observe recess? Even the first graders only got ONE 20 minute recess per day and that included time in transit. I've had four children in our local public schools and I'm not ignorant of what goes on there and you can't "guarantee plenty of socializing" at the school my children attended. There are very few opportunities for socializing and supposedly lunch is one of those times. My son would sometimes go days without a chance to talk to his friends AT ALL.

[BarbecueMom]

We had the traffic light in one school, early 90's. In another, they would turn the lights off when we got too loud and we'd have to be quiet for it to turn back on. If we kept talking, the very large, cuddly/scary head lunch lady would walk around yelling, "No talking! The lights is out!"

 

My kitchen acoustics are so bad that I usually have a headache by the time the kids are done eating. Where can I get one of those traffic lights or angry lunch ladies...

[Samiam]

The one year my oldest DS attended public school, well, the three weeks, in 1st....they turned the lights off in the lunch room if it go too loud (my DH was there eating lunch with my son and saw this).

 

Now, in a different state, I take my DS7 to a public school for speech therapy, and we are there at 11:15-11:30 a.m., so right at lunch time, and I sit in a waiting area right next to the lunch room while we are there. The children go into the lunch room, single file, not sure about assigned seating, as I've not noticed, but definately quiet in there. And they leave single file as well. Very quiet, orderly and um, prison-like.

 

One day, I saw a little boy, probably 1st grade or so, get put up to a wall, and told he did not get recess that day because he didn't stay in the single file line :(.

[Aspasia]

I guess the traffic light isn't so crazy. But no talking at all is a bit much to me. A room filled with hundreds of little kids eating silently? That's just creepy to me.

[magnificent_baby]

Observe recess? Even the first graders only got ONE 20 minute recess per day and that included time in transit. I've had four children in our local public schools and I'm not ignorant of what goes on there and you can't "guarantee plenty of socializing" at the school my children attended. There are very few opportunities for socializing and supposedly lunch is one of those times. My son would sometimes go days without a chance to talk to his friends AT ALL.

 

Not all schools are the same. I'm sure there are extremes at both ends. PS is far from perfect of course, but I don't like when blanket statements are made and the possibility of wrong impressions are made.

 

There are some truly good schools with very caring staff and administration, just as there are bad schools.

 

There were some things that rubbed me the wrong way when we met with hs groups, but that wouldn't be fair for me to judge all hs'ers by the behavior by a few. KWIM? (Not attacking you, just my feelings regarding the thread in general).

[Julie Smith]

I'm in Canada. I went to two grade schools, and one middle school. It wasn't till I got to high school that we had a cafeteria. Till then everyone also ate in there classroom at there desk.

[fraidycat]

What do you suggest then, to make sure the kids are eating lunch? It can get awfully loud in the lunch room. I assume when it's loud, not much eating is going on. I only have 3 kids, and when mine get out of control at dinner, we implement the no talking rule. Did you observe recess? I can guarantee plenty of socializing gets done during that time, not to mention other times.

 

Just like in adult life, in large group settings there are appropriate times for quiet and appropriate times for playing.

 

Well, I've gotta say - MOST every adult "socializing" situation I've ever been in involves food & conversation - at the same time.

 

Is it not a appropriate for us to get together for dinner and a chat? :confused: The kids used up their "appropriate quiet time" IN class. They should be allowed to talk at lunch time.

 

My suggestion as far as making sure kids actually eat their lunch. Recess before food. Let them go outside and run off the steam they have built up from sitting in a classroom all morning. When they come in, they're HUNGRY and tuckered from running. They sit still and eat quietly. The school my kids were at (where I subbed in the lunchroom) was moving to that model the year after we left. I heard all about the studies and plans while I was there.

 

ETA: I've heard of silent lunches, etc. but have never (nor have my kids) experienced them. Thankfully we were lucky and the schools we had still had people working in them who wanted to work with children - noise, child-like behavior, and all. They were not there just for a paycheck and expecting mini office executives.

[renmew]

It bothers me a little that the kids at my private school cannot talk during lunch, but they do have ony 15 minutes to eat, followed by 20 minutes to run around and socialize all they want. One time the teacher on duty was helping a couple of kids open their waters when I heard someone yell help above the noise that should not have been. My classroom door was open right next to the eating tables. I looked up and saw several kids standing around a choking student. The teacher on duty had not heard the cries for help where she was standing, but I did. I jumped over the rail and and took care of the situation.

 

When I start to feel bad about the silent lunch, I remember that episode and realize there is another good reason for it.

[fraidycat]

I'm in Canada. I went to two grade schools, and one middle school. It wasn't till I got to high school that we had a cafeteria. Till then everyone also ate in there classroom at there desk.

 

This. There was no such thing as hot lunch in elementary or middle school. It was brown bag lunches, or you went home for lunch.

[magnificent_baby]

Well, I've gotta say - MOST every adult "socializing" situation I've ever been in involves food & conversation - at the same time.

 

Is it not a appropriate for us to get together for dinner and a chat? :confused: The kids used up their "appropriate quiet time" IN class. They should be allowed to talk at lunch time.

 

My suggestion as far as making sure kids actually eat their lunch. Recess before food. Let them go outside and run off the steam they have built up from sitting in a classroom all morning. When they come in, they're HUNGRY and tuckered from running. They sit still and eat quietly. The school my kids were at (where I subbed in the lunchroom) was moving to that model the year after we left. I heard all about the studies and plans while I was there.

 

ETA: I've heard of silent lunches, etc. but have never (nor have my kids) experienced them. Thankfully we were lucky and the schools we had still had people working in them who wanted to work with children - noise, child-like behavior, and all. They were not there just for a paycheck and expecting mini office executives.

 

I agree it is appropriate for eating and chatting, but kids don't always have that much self control to keep it quiet. Especially when there are a couple hundred kids eating at the same time.

 

In our district, some classes do have recess before lunch. They have to, as there are 700 kids to feed and get recess time (3 different lunch periods total).

 

I have yet to meet anyone in our district that doesn't seem to enjoy working with kids. I guess we are fortunate.

[Mélie]

This. There was no such thing as hot lunch in elementary or middle school. It was brown bag lunches, or you went home for lunch.

This was my experience as well. At my son's school, there's a kitchen that cooks hot lunches, but one student from each class has to go down and pick up the box of lunches for the class.

 

This thread is the first time I've ever heard of parents eating lunch in school with their kids. :confused1:

[Joker]

 

This thread is the first time I've ever heard of parents eating lunch in school with their kids. :confused1:

 

 

My mom used to eat with us for birthdays or other special occasions (this was in the 80s). I, or dh, would the same with our dds when they were in elementary school. I actually ate often with one or the other dd because I was constantly volunteering at the school, and I wasn't the only parent doing so.

[magnificent_baby]

This was my experience as well. At my son's school, there's a kitchen that cooks hot lunches, but one student from each class has to go down and pick up the box of lunches for the class.

 

This thread is the first time I've ever heard of parents eating lunch in school with their kids. :confused1:

 

 

Parents are welcome anytime to have lunch with their kids in our district. I think it's the norm in other districts in our town as well. It's nice to be able to pop in anytime. We can bring lunch with us, or eat from the school menu. If the parent wants to buy lunch (pizza for example) for the entire class, everyone stays in the classroom to eat.

[Samiam]

This thread is the first time I've ever heard of parents eating lunch in school with their kids. :confused1:

 

 

 

Wow, really? My DH ate lunch with my DS14 once a week during 1st grade...the three weeks DS was there..that was in FL.

 

Where we live now, different state, again, I am at a elementary school for my DS7's speech therapy during lunch time, and see a handful of parents coming in to eat lunch with their child each week.

 

I assumed this was the norm.

[Dandelion]

How sad. I had never heard of this. The schools I attended (in the 70's & 80's) didn't do this. I can understand the need to maintain order, but some of what's been described in this thread is just ridiculous.

[Mélie]

Wow, really? My DH ate lunch with my DS14 once a week during 1st grade...the three weeks DS was there..that was in FL.

 

Where we live now, different state, again, I am at a elementary school for my DS7's speech therapy during lunch time, and see a handful of parents coming in to eat lunch with their child each week.

 

I assumed this was the norm.

 

Hmm. I'm sure it's allowed here, I've just never heard of anyone doing it! I think I would prefer to just bring my kid home for lunch, or to a restaurant, but I can see how it would be more convenient for some parents to just drop in to the school. I'll have to ask around about this!

[Jean in Newcastle]

 

Not all schools are the same. I'm sure there are extremes at both ends. PS is far from perfect of course, but I don't like when blanket statements are made and the possibility of wrong impressions are made.

 

There are some truly good schools with very caring staff and administration, just as there are bad schools.

 

There were some things that rubbed me the wrong way when we met with hs groups, but that wouldn't be fair for me to judge all hs'ers by the behavior by a few. KWIM? (Not attacking you, just my feelings regarding the thread in general).

 

 

People are giving examples of schools they or their children have gone to and the policy there for lunchtime. That is not a blanket statement.

[stripe]

My experience was almost identical to Veritaserum's. I have heard of lots of schools with weird quiet, too. I have never seen such a school myself, but I don't really have much exposure to public schools in the last ten years.

[Lang Syne Boardie]

How sad. I had never heard of this. The schools I attended (in the 70's & 80's) didn't do this. I can understand the need to maintain order, but some of what's been described in this thread is just ridiculous.

 

 

ITA.

 

We had time to wash our hands properly in the 70's and 80's, too. I have to say, hearing about hand sanitizer in lieu of handwashing because "they don't have time" is making me feel queasy. If you don't have time to teach children to wash their hands after using the bathroom maybe something should change.

[GSOchristie]

This is the case here, too. No talking for the first 15-20 minutes, then quietly talking for the last 5-10, which is taken away if it gets too loud. As a public school teacher, I gave my kids silent lunch for being particularly out of control as a class for the morning. At my school we had so few options for discipline that I had to be a big meanie, my administation was horrible. They did have 20 minutes of recess after lunch, though, and I rarely took that away, even though someone consistently got into a knock-down drag-out at recess (4th graders). Our test scores for the third quarter one year were terrible school wide, so the principal took away recess for the 3rd-5th grades to do extra SOL prep :/.