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Update:)what would you do if your baby turned blue and stopped breathing


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I wouldn't be visibly concerned if my child had a breath holding spell in front of a friend. While it looks creepy, I would hope that that well-meaning friend would not call CPS on me because of an incident like that. We also blow in our kids' faces to encourage a sharp breath in.

 

Just because she sounds ignorant (spoiled?! That's an old school myth...) does NOT mean that she's not taking it seriously. Like I said, I would still take the child in to make sure there is no underlying issue.

I am not arguing but three in one day and never before? I hope it is nothing serious. I hope it is just what diane said. I just don't know.

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I wouldn't be visibly concerned if my child had a breath holding spell in front of a friend. While it looks creepy, I would hope that that well-meaning friend would not call CPS on me because of an incident like that. We also blow in our kids' faces to encourage a sharp breath in.

 

Just because she sounds ignorant (spoiled?! That's an old school myth...) does NOT mean that she's not taking it seriously. Like I said, I would still take the child in to make sure there is no underlying issue.

 

Hypothetically speaking, if you were my friend and your child had a medical diagnosis, I wouldn't be concerned because I'd assume you have knowledge of the condition I don't. In this instance, it doesn't seem the child has been diagnosed and therefore this could be something else. That she isn't concerned enough to call a pediatrician and get a diagnosis might warrant a call to CPS, but only after I'd exhausted all other avenues and only if it truly seemed she had reckless disregard for her child's safety and welfare. Since OP has said that she's calling the doctor in the morning, I think that all we can do is wait and hope that the mother is competent enough to monitor her child's condition overnight.

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Guest elowyn

I work as an ER provider, and while my two kids definitely don't go to the ER for every sniffle, they would have been taken in for this after the first episode. This is an ALTE. Could it ultimately be diagnosed as a breath-holding spell? Yes. But that's a diagnosis of exclusion, after life-threatening things like a foreign body partially obstructing the airway, severe croup, epiglottitis, severe anemia, seizure, etc have been ruled out. That can't happen without emergent assessment by a trained professional and whatever workup/observation he or she deems necessary.

 

I hope your friend sees reason and takes this child to the ER. This is a 100% appropriate ER problem.

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Is there a pediatric urgent care? For hubby's company insurance, HMO would be $5 for docter and $100 for ER. For PPO plan, it is $20 for doctor and urgent care but $200 for ER. I can understand why your friend won't want to go to ER if her out of pocket is high.

higher deductables generally mean lower monthly premiums and unless you have LOTS (and I mean thousands in out of pocket medical expenses) you will save money with a higher deductable/lower premium.

 

I've asked her three times no she has not called the ped. She looked it up online. The only thing she could find on it was children do it when spoiled. She said she does not want to go to the er only to be told he's fine. The er is for the dying.

tell her about the guy in LA who felt the same way and only very reluctantly took his son to the ER. it was too late because he delayed, not wanting to be told it was "nothing". the child died.

This is still resuscitation. It may not be mouth to mouth, but baby has to be stimulated to breathe.

I'm sorry, but the police need to be called. And ER visits are not only for the dying(ask the lady with the hangnail I took in my ambulance), but this qualifies as a Serious Medical Emergency.

I really wish I'd had dh call an ambulance when I had an inner ear infection. I had my head planted in a bucket the whole trip, it took three people to transfer me from the car to a wheelchair and then a bed. the good thing was - they saw me and bumped me to the head of the triage line and took me back in under three minutes.

Every time I call for a doctor's appointment, they ask what the problem is, so I assumed that if she'd called her pediatrician's office and said she needed to bring the baby in the next morning, they would have asked what was going on. Maybe your doctor's office is different.

it can also depend upon how experienced the receptionist is if they remember to ask or not (i've had different experiences depending upon the provider) - and how descriptive the parent is. in this case - I doubt she has called a doctor yet, and absolutely doubt she was as descriptive to them as she was to the OP. remember - she thinks he's doing this because he's "spoiled".
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My friend's ped sent her to the ER for an MRI. the ER was busy and even the doctors kept putting her off. after FIVE hours she asked if they could go home because they were hungry. My friend didn't think it was a big deal. as long as her dd was laying down, she was "fine". Her dd was having an active brain bleed. when they finally did the MRI - she was sent straight to the ICU.

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My friend's ped sent her to the ER for an MRI. the ER was busy and even the doctors kept putting her off. after FIVE hours she asked if they could go home because they were hungry. My friend didn't think it was a big deal. as long as her dd was laying down, she was "fine". Her dd was having an active brain bleed. when they finally did the MRI - she was sent straight to the ICU.

 

:eek: :eek: :eek:

 

Was your friend's dd OK?

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She should definitely go to the ER, or call her pediatrician. But I can tell you as a pediatrician that this is a no-brainer decision for us. He doctor will definitely tell her to go in...which may be why she doesnĂ¢â‚¬â„¢t want to call.

 

It is very likely breath-holding but it could be so many more things that are life-threatening. As the previous ER doc said, breath-holding is really a diagnosis of exclusion. One thing that makes it slightly less likely in my mind is that you said she had to stimulate the baby to get him to breathe again, usually in breath-holding spells once the baby passes out they start breathing on their own.

 

Regardless, Internet diagnosis is useless. She needs to take the baby in tonight, ASAP.

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There are certain times you just have to say "dam% the expense," suck it up, and go to the ER. When we were in an accident last week, it was a no brainer to transport my DD to the hospital, but DS appeared to be fine (as was I). I didn't bother getting myself checked out, but DS? You betcha. He turned out to be fine, but how much it could cost never crossed my mind.

 

This woman and her husband need to get a clue and get that baby to an ER.

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:eek: :eek: :eek:

 

Was your friend's dd OK?

 

she had a bleeding AVM (aterio-ventricular-malformation). usually diagnosed after a concussion. or an autopsy. after brain surgery to remove as much as they could, radiation therapy to shrink the rest and years of follow-up, she is now fine and is in university. I think the worst was this happend seven months after my friends husband died very suddenly from a heart attack leaving her a widow with three young children.

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she had a bleeding AVM (aterio-ventricular-malformation). usually diagnosed after a concussion. or an autopsy. after brain surgery to remove as much as they could, radiation therapy to shrink the rest and years of follow-up, she is now fine and is in university. I think the worst was this happend seven months after my friends husband died very suddenly from a heart attack leaving her a widow with three young children.

 

I'm so glad to hear she's OK, but her mom must have been a complete wreck, especially after what she had just been through with her husband. :(

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Bluntly? If she wasn't taking him to see a doctor, I would be calling for help myself. She sounds like the stubborn one. She is talking crazy and sticking to it. 11 months is not old enough to be willfully making himself pass out. Most people, even adults, are not physically capable- survival instinct kicks in before signs like turning gray appear! He could have a very serious medical condition. I think your friend's reasoning is cavalier to the point of neglect.

 

If the main concern is money, that still doesn't exonerate her. Hospitals, especially children's hospitals, generally have payment plans, charity care and all sorts of financial assistance. If she is too low income to have insurance, she likely qualifies for some state program for her children.

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What *I* would do is call and get my doctor on the phone, explain every detail I could, tell them I didn't want to go to the ER unless I absolutely had to, and get her professional opinion regarding the urgency. Any sort of difficulty with breathing usually gets me straight to the ped or ER, though. It is not like there is a whole lot of leeway.

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I'm so glad to hear she's OK, but her mom must have been a complete wreck, especially after what she had just been through with her husband. :(

She actually did okay. she has a very deep faith, and great support from both her family and her inlaws (with whom she still has a close relationship) and of course, all of her friends and her church community around her. :001_smile:

Any sort of difficulty with breathing usually gets me straight to the ped or ER, though.

:iagree: and if she'd actually told the appointment desk at her dr's that the child was having breathing problems, they'd have most likely been telling her the same thing.
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I am also looking for an update to this thread and hoping that the baby is OK. While she was cooking our Breakfast, I told my wife about this thread. She agrees with me, that here in Colombia, it would take FAR less than this, for the C.P.S. to become involved and take the baby from the parents, for the protection of the baby.

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I remember when my daughter was about 3 months old, she did that one night several times. I ended up bringing her into the ER that same night. It turns she had a severe kidney infection. She was in such excruciating pain, that she held her breath as a reaction to the pain. She was diagnosed with a certain condition (a dysfunctional valve) that night and ended up being on antibiotics for about a year. I was so glad that they caught it early, or she could have had permanent kidney damage.

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This actually did happen to my oldest when he was little (probably 10months or so) and I hate to admit this, but I didn't take him in until the next day either. I observed the situation as a whole, not as one part. After his breath holding episode, he would come back around so the next day I scheduled an appointment. The lady at the front desk didn't even sound concerned when I described what happened. The doctor listened to my description and based on that, confirmed he had breath holding episodes. It lasted until he was 4 or so. I never had extra testing done to rule out anything else. He's 10 now and completely healthy.

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Straight to the ER, via ambulance because it would actually get us there more quickly.

 

In general I'm not really paranoid about medical situations but breathing situations with babies? Not worth the risk.

 

Three weeks after I found out that I was pg with DS2 my cousin lost his 8.5 month old son to SIDS and about two weeks after that someone in our church lost their 3 week old baby to it. I was a complete and total wreck. To this day I still get up multiple times a night to go check on DS1 and DS2 (DS3 sleeps where we can keep an eye on him or hear him. Always.)

 

Hoping for an update soon...

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Puddles, it sounds like you haven't seen this personally. Am I reading that correctly?

 

Is there any way your friend could be exaggerating? Or lying?

 

Has she been an attention seeker type person?

 

 

No, I was not there. Honestly she downplayed the whole thing. Because he came to right away after passing out she thought he was probably fine. The next two times it happened she was not worried because he did not pass out and snapped out of it when she blew in his face. She read on the internet that babies do this when spoiled. She read something that sounded like what Diane and a few of the other dr's that responded to on this thread so she was not worried.

I honestly don't think she was lying or exaggerating. I hope it is nothing I really do. I just really really think it needs to be checked out. I asked her to call me as soon as she took him to the dr. She promised she would. If I don't hear soon I am going to call her.

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I really hope it is breath holding. I am now wondering what impressions I have left on people in our town. Once dd started to do it because she grabbed candy in the check out lane and I made her put it back. The woman behind me started explaining diabetes and how sometimes some people just need the quick sugar. I told her that I was familiar with the situation. Thank goodness she didn't jump to child services like many of you would.

I know several people are upset with the use of the word "spoiled". I will say that it is something that our pediatrician addressed. Her advice was to lay her down and walk away once breathing was returned. It can develop into a coping mechanism in part because of the reaction that it brings in other people.

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No, I was not there. Honestly she downplayed the whole thing. Because he came to right away after passing out she thought he was probably fine. The next two times it happened she was not worried because he did not pass out and snapped out of it when she blew in his face. She read on the internet that babies do this when spoiled. She read something that sounded like what Diane and a few of the other dr's that responded to on this thread so she was not worried.

I honestly don't think she was lying or exaggerating. I hope it is nothing I really do. I just really really think it needs to be checked out. I asked her to call me as soon as she took him to the dr. She promised she would. If I don't hear soon I am going to call her.

 

 

Thanks.

 

I know there are people who overdramatize things but then when you take them seriously and want them to react appropriately, they minimize the situation.

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I really hope it is breath holding. I am now wondering what impressions I have left on people in our town. Once dd started to do it because she grabbed candy in the check out lane and I made her put it back. The woman behind me started explaining diabetes and how sometimes some people just need the quick sugar. I told her that I was familiar with the situation. Thank goodness she didn't jump to child services like many of you would.

I know several people are upset with the use of the word "spoiled". I will say that it is something that our pediatrician addressed. Her advice was to lay her down and walk away once breathing was returned. It can develop into a coping mechanism in part because of the reaction that it brings in other people.

 

The difference in this situation is that you addressed your dd's situation with the doctor; OP's friend had not and was relying on diagnosing herself via internet. Like a previous poster said, they usually come to that conclusion when other causes have been ruled out.

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The difference in this situation is that you addressed your dd's situation with the doctor; OP's friend had not and was relying on diagnosing herself via internet. Like a previous poster said, they usually come to that conclusion when other causes have been ruled out.

 

Not really. I think dd had a handful of episodes before I discussed it at the next scheduled well child apt. I had heard stories from my grandmother of how my mother went through this stage and have a niece who previously went through it. If I had brought my child to ER, they would have run every test under the sun to rule out the .005% chance causes. Since, I knew my dd was only have these occur at times of frustration and anger I went with the 99% cause. I think that if she had a medical cause, we would have seen other symptoms that wouldn't coincide with not getting a candy bar, or from tripping and landing on a good 3 inches of fluffy diaper bottom.

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Young children, and in particular, babies, are helpless and they are completely dependent upon their parents, to take care of them and protect them. In this case, the parents were not (and possibly as I write this, are not) taking care of their baby properly. Hopefully, after the baby is thoroughly checked out, in the E.R., etc., Medical Doctors (not the mother) will decide that it is not something life threatening. For the mother to assume that, based on her Internet diagnosis, is irresponsible. In this case, one must assume that it is a life threatening problem, until that can be ruled out. I feel very sorry for the baby. He is helpless and he is without a competent care provider. Based on this episode, the parents are not fit to be parents. If the OP calls C.P.S., in the state where the baby is, she might lose a friend, but she might save a life.

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I wouldn't be visibly concerned if my child had a breath holding spell in front of a friend. While it looks creepy, I would hope that that well-meaning friend would not call CPS on me because of an incident like that.

The issue is that the parent seems so unconcerned but has no medical advice indicating all is fine. What she IS saying is that this is a form of manipulation that she does not want to have a doctor check out because the internet says so.

 

If someone's child did this but had gone to the doctor, CPS could simply be referred to the medical file, not to mention that the parent could say that the doctor said x, y, and z, not that someone online who knows nothing about this child says not breathing is okay. Because not breathing is normally completely life-threatening.

 

I had a baby whose breathing was a bit odd after birth, and the nurse at the hospital was rather snippy that I'd better watch the baby carefully, or else she would do so in the nursery. However, I understood that breathing was important so I was concerned. I also had a nurse run an EEG or something at 2 AM for another child in the hospital because the pulse was so low. The next morning the pediatrician told me it was totally not a big deal, but most medical professionals don't encounter babies slumbering so deeply. I was not offended that someone wanted my baby to live.

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Ok I just talked to my friend. She is at work. Grandma is babysitting. She made a dr appointment and the soonest he can see the baby is tomorrow. She said she asked to talk to the dr and is waiting for him to call her back.

Thankfully the baby has not had any more episodes. Personally I would not be content waiting another day. At least he is going to be seen. Grandma is aware of the episodes.

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I don't think it's "judging" to be genuinely fearful for the life of a child, to the degree that you feel that you don't want the child's parents to be free to take that risk.

 

Most people who call CPS do so because they lovingly want to see a child kept safe from a potential harm that they believe is real. That is the action of a friend. Very few people call CPS because they are angry and hateful towards a parent that they can't wait to judge and betray.

 

It's not a bystander's fault if they happen to see or hear something that makes them think a child might be unsafe without intervention... and once they do think that, they have to ask themselves, "What am I willing to do to protect children who might be unsafe?" -- often a phone call is the least they can do. Nobody "minds their own business" when they genuinely really do think a child's life is at risk. Anybody who does is not being 'nonjudgmental' they are being a sociopath. Most people would intervene if they thought a *dog's* life was in danger, and no one else was stepping up.

 

I think this child passed an unsafe night, and no one interfered with it. I'm glad there turned out to be no trouble in the night, and I very much hope that "it's nothing" just as the mom in the situation thinks... but I still think she was wrong to take the risk, that she made a mistake that could have been costly, and that people who take risks like that with their baby's life probably need help... at least the financial help to make decisions based on symptoms alone, not based on symptoms in-balance-with money.

 

Anyhow, what I mean is that calling CPS very rarely involves "judging" other parents. It usually involves simply risk-assessing the child and not being able to stand idly while kids get hurt. There is a difference between being a busybody and just genuinely having a conscience about things you happen to learn. If someone is my friend, I expect them to act like a friend if I endanger my children -- by helping make my children safe if that's not what I'm doing. It might be their last act of friendship, because I'm not likely to be rational about it -- but I still hope it happens, because if I'm that messed up, I *want* someone watching over my little loved ones.

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I'm keeping my opinion to myself because I have nothing nice to say. However, it's a shame that Puddles ended up in the middle of it all. Your friend is fortunate to have you as a friend.

 

When this is all done, try to educate your friend about the fact that the Internet is full of "whackadoodles". She definitely cannot believe most of what she reads or use it for diagnosis in lieu of medical treatment (I know there is a lot of great resources and information, but as a whole, one has to be smart about what they choose to believe or accept as fact).

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My friends baby has stopped breathing three times today. His tongue went from gray to blue. He passed out the first time it happened.

She says he is doing it because he is spoiled.

She is keeping a close eye on him and going to take him to the dr tomorrow.

What could this be? I have never heard of a baby doing this because he was spoiled.

I am trying not to meddle because it is not my child. If it was my baby he would be in the er right now.

What would you do? The baby is 11 months. It happens when he is crying.

 

Update in post # 140

 

 

Seriously? Do you know anyone who can turn blue on purpose? Even if he is crying himself blue it is a concern because he may not be able to BREATHE.

Sorry for yelling...

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The only time my child ever turned blue, I was in urgent care 15 minutes later. He had wakened from a nap and started shrieking bloody murder and his hands and feet were blue. I rushed him in and the admitting nurse was all "oh he must have had a nightmare." I insisted that he be seen by the doctor. He started spiking a fever while we were there. They took blood, and his white cell count was high. He was put on antibiotics. I never knew what was wrong with him, but it sure wasn't a nightmare.

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I think we need to be careful not to blame puddles for any of this. She was concerned about the baby, and encouraged the mom (multiple times) to take him to the doctor, but she wasn't there and she didn't see the incidents, and she doesn't live nearby, so she couldn't check on the baby herself.

 

I think it's a little mean to suggest that she didn't do her best to do the right thing here. OK, she didn't call the police or CPS, but honestly, she didn't have anything but a few phone conversations to report, and for every one of us who would have raced to report the mom to the authorities, I'll bet there are hundreds who would be worried, but who would assume that the parents were ultimately responsible for their own child. The mom, the dad, and apparently also the grandma, weren't in a panic. For all we know, the grandma may have told the mom that it was a common thing in their family or something. I mean, seriously, calling the police and CPS is a huge deal, and it doesn't sound like the parents don't love the baby or that they are otherwise terrible parents, so I think that would have been a decision for puddles to have made only if she'd actually been there and seen what was going on in person.

 

I am concerned that people are going to make puddles feel badly about all of this, when all she did was try to help.

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Ok I just talked to my friend. She is at work. Grandma is babysitting. She made a dr appointment and the soonest he can see the baby is tomorrow. She said she asked to talk to the dr and is waiting for him to call her back.

Thankfully the baby has not had any more episodes. Personally I would not be content waiting another day. At least he is going to be seen. Grandma is aware of the episodes.

 

Thanks for the update -- I wouldn't have waited another day, either, but at least the mom made the appointment. I'm starting to wonder if this type of "episode" is common in that family, because it doesn't sound like the grandmother was too worried, either.

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Thanks for the update -- I wouldn't have waited another day, either, but at least the mom made the appointment. I'm starting to wonder if this type of "episode" is common in that family, because it doesn't sound like the grandmother was too worried, either.

 

They all think it is the breathe holding that Diane had talked about. Although it did not sound like any of them had ever dealt with it personally. It seems they are going on what they have heard. I personally would not jump to that without having a diagnosis but it is not my baby. I know a lady that turned blue and stopped breathing only one time when she was a baby. As an adult she had to have open heart surgery. I am still worried about heart problems.

The reason I did not think calling cps was warranted is because they do love their baby and are concerned for him. They are not handling it the way I think they should but they are doing something about it.

If they were never going to call the dr and did not seem to care whatsoever It would be a different story.

Also I don't live close by if I did I would have went over there invited or not and helped ascess the situation. There is only so much I can do so far away.

Thanks catwomen for the kind words. I do love this baby and don't want anything bad to every happen to him. If it came down to saving him or protecting him or my friendship I would without hesitation pick his safety. I feel the situation is serious however I also feel like them being there they know more than I do.

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I would be really disappointed if someone said they were my friend and called CPS on me. I know it's hard to MYOB, but every one reacts differently to things. Unless you are in their shoes, don't judge!

Some things are just plain wrong, no matter what.

 

I read recently about a man who beat a boy (not his son) for 15 minutes because he didn't eat some banana. I have seen news about funerals for children in my area killed during toilet training. Another local woman was arrested after arranging online to prostitute her daughter, and a local man was distributing porn of his infant being raped and otherwise abused over the internet. When I was a child, there was a boy who had been horrifically burned over most of his body as "discipline" by his father.

 

We all get frustrated with our kids. However, some things ARE worth calling the police and child protective services about, because there is no excuse, or it should be the case that someone should investigate. I know people who have been investigated, and most of them did nothing wrong, and the injury to the child was truly accidental.

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Some things are just plain wrong, no matter what.

 

I read recently about a man who beat a boy (not his son) for 15 minutes because he didn't eat some banana. I have seen news about funerals for children in my area killed during toilet training. Another local woman was arrested after arranging online to prostitute her daughter, and a local man was distributing porn of his infant being raped and otherwise abused over the internet. When I was a child, there was a boy who had been horrifically burned over most of his body as "discipline" by his father.

 

We all get frustrated with our kids. However, some things ARE worth calling the police and child protective services about, because there is no excuse, or it should be the case that someone should investigate. I know people who have been investigated, and most of them did nothing wrong, and the injury to the child was truly accidental.

 

 

An incident like this would warrant a call immediately if someone knows about it.

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Puddles, it sounds like you haven't seen this personally. Am I reading that correctly?

 

Is there any way your friend could be exaggerating? Or lying?

 

Has she been an attention seeker type person?

 

In either case this nut seems unfit to be a mother. Wow. Who would ignore it? Who the heck would make it up? Money is the least of her problems.

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Ok I just talked to my friend. She is at work. Grandma is babysitting. She made a dr appointment and the soonest he can see the baby is tomorrow. She said she asked to talk to the dr and is waiting for him to call her back.

Thankfully the baby has not had any more episodes. Personally I would not be content waiting another day. At least he is going to be seen. Grandma is aware of the episodes.

 

 

I understand the financial bit. I live in a country with a very cheap medical system but after hours care can be expensive. Not being able to buy food for two weeks is also a health problem.

 

I also understand the hiding breath. I have an oldish friend whose brothers used to stick her head under the tap when she did it at school (she found with her daughter putting her wrists under the tap was enough). Here it is recommended to put a bag of frozen vegetables on the neck briefly.

 

But dropping breathing 3 times - I would want at least the heart and lungs checked before assuming it was breath holding. Also surely if you ring the doctor and say your 11 month old stopped breathing 3 times the day before they would fit you in asap somehow even if it meant ringing a non urgent patient to reschedule or holding everyone up and working through lunch.

 

Really? Your baby stopped breathing 3 times yesterday? We are busy today, how would 3 pm tomorrow suit?

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