Has this happened to anyone else?

[Remudamom]

Have any of you ever met someone that has taken a complete and total dislike of you immediately

for no reason you can discern?

 

There is a woman at our church that does. not. like. me. Which is fine.....I don't know why though. She was rude to me the minute we met. She didn't even give me a chance to be obnoxious or anything. She was just cool right away.

 

When we have dinners she will talk to everyone in the room but me. This has gone on for years. I will say that on occasion she has mentioned how much she likes my children.

 

Anyhow, I kind of get a perverse kick out of speaking to her so that she has to answer me.

[MooCow]

Yes. At first it was like what the heck lady ?????

And it hurt my feelings.

Then I took evil delight in making her engage with me;especially

in front of of others. :001_tt2:

[*********]

That happened to me once as a child in public elementary school with a substitute teacher. It was so weird. I was ALWAYS a well behaved, studious, quiet kid. For some reason, this lady decided she didn't like me right off the bat. I still remember what a weird feeling that was.

[MissKNG]

My neighbor doesn't like me. And no one (including her dh) can come up with a valid reason as to why. All sorts of things have swirled around but nothing concrete. I'm pleasant to her regardless.

[gingersmom]

My neighbor has never spoken a word to me. Suits me fine.

[NorthwestMom]

There is a mom in my youngest DD's Girl Scout Troop who is annoyed/threatened/whatever by me. I have never had any kind of negative interaction with her, her daughter, or anyone in the troop so I have no idea what it is about. I just shrug it off. People are weird.

[Dandelion]

I've had a lot of people tell me they were intimidated by me at first (but obviously, since they've told me this, they managed to get past that at some point). But I haven't experienced the complete and total dislike that you've described.

 

Maybe she's scared of you? Try growling or snarling at her next time you see her and see what happens.... :tongue_smilie:

[justamouse]

She has NO idea what fun she is missing.

[Ellie]

Too bad we don't all attend the same church, because we could all take turns chatting up this woman and telling her how much we just love you and aren't you just the best friend and what a blessing you are in our lives and anything else we can come up with. :D

[Lisa R.]

I've seen it before. I assume it has to do with insecurities on behalf of the one giving the cold shoulder. I think the dislike is mostly directed toward someone with confidence, or someone who is perceived as "having their act together".

 

 

[Word Nerd]

When I started my first real job after getting my degree, a woman in the office said, "Gawd, you're skinny. I hate you!" when we were introduced. She may have meant it as a joke, but she always treated me like it was the truth.

[Guest submarines]

Yes. At first it was like what the heck lady ?????

And it hurt my feelings.

Then I took evil delight in making her engage with me;especially

in front of of others. :001_tt2:

 

 

Well, maybe at first she was going through some personal crisis (health, mental health, family trouble?) and her rude behaviour wasn't about you. But then she noticed you were playing mean games with her, and now she has a reason not to like you. :tongue_smilie:

[Halftime Hope]

I don't know Remudamom. I'm pretty sure I don't like you either.

:smilielol5: :smilielol5:

 

I'd put the "ducks and runs" smiley, too, if I could find it.

[Lisa R.]

 

 

Well, maybe at first she was going through some personal crisis (health, mental health, family trouble?) and her rude behaviour wasn't about you. But then she noticed you were playing mean games with her, and now she has a reason not to like you. :tongue_smilie:

 

I think what posters are referring to are people who are friendly in general, but chose a person they don't know and treat them in a dismissive way. If someone is generally unpleasant to most everyone around, then, yes, there are likely the underlying issues you mentioned above.

 

Singling out one person they've just met and being rude? Something else entirely.

[Grover]

yes, there was one person who treated me this way as a teenager, and I thought it was just normal teenage angst and ignored it. Then when we met again as adults in our profession she behaved the same way. And again a few years later when we met again in a toddler group with my first child. And again when we met at a preschool group. She currently has her children at gymnastics at the same time as mine, but we don't need to speak there - I nod and smile on the way past, and she turns her head away and will stand if the only seat available is near me. I don't know why. It used to upset me, now it alternately bewilders and amuses me. I do know that it is not my problem and I treat her the same as I do everyone else, but she ignores or is outright rude at times, and goes out of her way to exclude me (for example changing the location and time of a coffee group get together at the last minute and saying she'd emailed everyone. She had - everyone except me). Others have noticed in these settings and have asked me what's going on, all I can say is that I honestly don't know. Someone suggested jealousy, and I guess that's possible, but TBH she probably needs to grow up and get over it if it is. It makes things uncomfortable at times, as we are involved in the same profession and so attend the same meetings reasonable often.

[JuanitaL]

She didn't even give me a chance to be obnoxious or anything.

 

This part made me laugh.

[Parrothead]

Yeah. It happens to me every once in a while.

[swellmomma]

yes, often. Not sure what it is, I put out a vibe or something that rubs people wrong. I used to get upset about it, and then I tried really hard to be someone different but since I don't know what I am doing wrong exactly that doesn't work, so now I just go on being me with my repulsiveness and try not to let it bother me.

[TranquilMind]

Have any of you ever met someone that has taken a complete and total dislike of you immediately

for no reason you can discern?

 

There is a woman at our church that does. not. like. me. Which is fine.....I don't know why though. She was rude to me the minute we met. She didn't even give me a chance to be obnoxious or anything. She was just cool right away.

 

When we have dinners she will talk to everyone in the room but me. This has gone on for years. I will say that on occasion she has mentioned how much she likes my children.

 

Anyhow, I kind of get a perverse kick out of speaking to her so that she has to answer me.

 

Yes, it has happened to me.

 

I know you are all in shock over that. :)

[Spryte]

Has she tried to run over you with a stroller? If you're nice enough to her, maybe she'll start running you off of sidewalks. :)

 

I had something similar happen in high school, and never did figure out the underlying issue. Weird feeling. It's her problem, not yours.

[Tita Gidge]

It hasn't happened to me that I'm aware of. In general, though, I'm fairly oblivious to these things; it could just be I haven't picked up on it :)

 

I'll say that I've been on the other side a few times, and have met people that instinctively I dislike. Even I haven't had a specific reason to, it's just a general vibe. Sometimes it ends up being warranted (and the person later acts in a way that justifies my rash initial reaction), but more than once enough time has gone by that I've never been able to justify that initial dislike. Either way, I'm never directly rude and I'd not go out of my way to avoid you totally. I can dislike someone and still be civil LOL, especially if our social circles WILL be crossing!

[Pod's mum]

We have a politician, Amanda Vandstone of whom it is said..

"Why do people take an immediate dislike of Amanda Vanstone?"

"It saves time."

 

Not that this would be the case here.... he he he.

[FaithManor]

Oh yes, I had a woman at a 4-H meeting go off on me (I'd never met her before) because she was certain that because I didn't call on her first during the question and answer period (she was the third person I got to), that I was discriminating against her because she could not afford to color her hair like us "rich folk" and that she was discriminated against all the time for not coloring her hair! She's been a snarky person ever since. But, the program director finally told her she had to stay away from me. Well, they made a whole list of people she's not supposed to bother - the list gets longer every year.

 

Chances are you are better off not socializing with snarky miss. I know I don't miss "that one" in my life.

 

Faith

[GinaPagnato]

Has she tried to run over you with a stroller? If you're nice enough to her, maybe she'll start running you off of sidewalks. :)

 

 

 

 

Hahaha!

[Miss Marple]

Yes, BTDT. But I just ignore her as well...I usually have plenty of others to talk to.

 

But the one that really hurt my feelings was when I met a lady who was new to our co-op. We hit it off and were getting on well (hey I didn't even balk at her tattoos as did some of the other leadership!). Several co-op days later, I was standing nearby and I heard another lady engaging the new one in conversation. My ears grew larger when I heard my name. At that point I started taking note of what was being said :D. She told the new lady that my husband was a physician and that I was a pharmacist and we weren't too interested in "natural things". Apparently this new lady was into all things "natural" (whatever the hoot that means). From that time on, this woman would hardly acknowledge me. It was sad because she was very interested in rigorous academics (or so she said) and that was a bit rare around here. But honestly I'm glad I escaped - if that was her character, I'm better off.

[pdalley]

yes, often. Not sure what it is, I put out a vibe or something that rubs people wrong. I used to get upset about it, and then I tried really hard to be someone different but since I don't know what I am doing wrong exactly that doesn't work, so now I just go on being me with my repulsiveness and try not to let it bother me.

 

:iagree: Yeah, this. Happens to me a lot. I stopped trying to figure it out and am polite to everyone regardless.

[bzymom]

I think most of us experience this at some point. Sometimes people have preconceived ideas based upon gossip or something they may have observed without knowing the context.

 

Not worth the effort of a second thought. Smile and live on. Or accidentally step on her foot every single time you see her. Either way is good.

[Catwoman]

All I can think is that maybe you remind her of the woman who ran off with her fiance the night before their wedding.

 

Or maybe you were the woman who ran off with her fiance the night before her wedding, and you just don't remember because it was the 80's, and hey, who really remembers much about what they did in the 80's?

 

;) ;) ;) ;)

[StaceyinLA]

The bulk of our large home school group was very cool towards me. I think they just couldn't deal with my "tell it like it is" personality. I'm just not gonna pretend to be something I'm not. Doesn't make one the most popular girl in school... ;-p

[LostSurprise]

Way back in college there was a very pretty girl who used to shoot me death looks all the time. I ignored her completely. Wouldn't even look in her direction.

 

It occurred to me, for the first time, a few years ago that she probably thinks that I started it. As if *I* was so stuck up I needed a few death looks. Poor silly human beings.

 

We still ignore each other in alumni/Facebook stuff.

[Dandelion]

In reading all of these posts, what stands out to me is how much energy some people will expend to avoid someone else (for seemingly no good reason). It has got to be so draining to always try to avoid making eye contact with someone, turning away when they say "Hi", finding someplace else to sit, etc. What a waste of mental and emotional energy. :huh:

[DawnM]

We had a student who hated his counselor. Since no one could come up with why but it was an obvious issue, they transferred the student to me.

 

I finally figured out why. One day I came out and asked him what his problem was with Mrs. X. He looked at me and said, "She reminds me of my aunt. I hate my aunt."

 

And, there you have it......it might not be about YOU at all!

[Wildcat]

Have any of you ever met someone that has taken a complete and total dislike of you immediately

for no reason you can discern?

 

There is a woman at our church that does. not. like. me. Which is fine.....I don't know why though. She was rude to me the minute we met. She didn't even give me a chance to be obnoxious or anything. She was just cool right away.

 

When we have dinners she will talk to everyone in the room but me. This has gone on for years. I will say that on occasion she has mentioned how much she likes my children.

 

Anyhow, I kind of get a perverse kick out of speaking to her so that she has to answer me.

 

I have, but not to the degree you mention. My 'person' was just super cold to me from the get-go and avoided me.

 

I, too, often engaged her just to watch her reaction. I particularly enjoyed doing this when there were lots of people around. :D <--- pretend that's an evil grin smilie.

[Wildcat]

nm 

 

[Guest inoubliable]

Sure. (I know - shocking!) People are funny.

 

When my two older kids were being watched at a sitter's while I worked, there was another mom who would drop off/pick up her kid at the same time that I did almost every day. She'd turn her head and completely ignore me passing in the drive way or the doorway. It was bizarre. And then our sitter got married and we were both invited. We were placed at the same table and this woman spent four hours at the reception glued to the food tables to avoid sitting at the table with me. *shrug* I shower regularly and brush my teeth, I'm generally pleasant and polite, my children are well-behaved, and I don't start swearing unless I know you're okay with it. I can only assume that she was intimidated by my superior wit and obvious good looks. ;)

[Wildcat]

nm 

 

[Wildcat]

Sure. (I know - shocking!) People are funny.

 

When my two older kids were being watched at a sitter's while I worked, there was another mom who would drop off/pick up her kid at the same time that I did almost every day. She'd turn her head and completely ignore me passing in the drive way or the doorway. It was bizarre. And then our sitter got married and we were both invited. We were placed at the same table and this woman spent four hours at the reception glued to the food tables to avoid sitting at the table with me. *shrug* I shower regularly and brush my teeth, I'm generally pleasant and polite, my children are well-behaved, and I don't start swearing unless I know you're okay with it. I can only assume that she was intimidated by my superior wit and obvious good looks. ;)

 

:lol: She just may have been!! :D

[Dandelion]

I can only assume that she was intimidated by my superior wit and obvious good looks. ;)

 

I can't look directly at your avatar or read your posts too closely for that very reason. Stop looking at me. And stop putting your superior wit on display in your posts. You're intimidating me. :tongue_smilie:

[Guest inoubliable]

I can't look directly at your avatar or read your posts too closely for that very reason. Stop looking at me. And stop putting your superior wit on display in your posts. You're intimidating me. :tongue_smilie:

 

Hahahahaha!

 

Seriously, I've never figured out how the "instant dislike" thing happens. I've had it hit me before, too. Meet someone and you instantly know - you're not going to like that person. at. all. No real reason for it. They might not even have spoken! Rather than let it get to me, I have fun imagining the reasons. There was a new boss at a place my DH worked at once. Soon as the guy walked in the room, before introductions were even made, DH and two others instantly disliked the guy. At a BBQ held at our house a few months later, these same guys were standing around trying to figure out WHY they didn't like the new boss. He seemed competent and fair. He wasn't obnoxious. They came up "he smells vaguely like mayonnaise".

[Dandelion]

They came up "he smells vaguely like mayonnaise".

 

 

:lol:

[Catwoman]

They came up "he smells vaguely like mayonnaise".

 

 

Well, there you have it. A good, solid, logical reason. It works for me! (But I don't really like mayonnaise, so I probably wouldn't have liked him, either. ;))

 

I was in a store yesterday and I so obviously avoided standing near the woman in front of me in line, that i could tell she noticed. I mean, I was standing WAY back from her, and I started wondering if she thought I'd instantly hated her or thought she was contagious or something because she looked at me very strangely. I didn't know what to say, so I just said that I didn't want to stand too close to her because I thought I might be coming down with a cold and I didn't want to infect anyone else. She was very nice after that. BUT... The real reason why I was keeping my distance is that she was wearing so much perfume that I was afraid it would trigger a migraine.

 

 

[lllll]

..

[Dandelion]

No, but I had a dog like this.

 

This made me laugh. :lol:

[Remudamom]

Well, I love mayo so maybe there's the problem.

 

My dog hates everyone but me. Me she tolerates.

[OrganicAnn]

I know someone we'll call her person X who didn't like person Y because person Y had a regional accent. Person X only knew 2 people with that accent and hated one of them. So person X took a long time to warm up to person Y.